#red hoods hood isnt a hood
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aaliyahtheawkward · 2 years ago
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Guys, but what if Red Hood's helmet was never about protecting his identity or hiding his baby face. What if it was just about protecting him from potential head trauma.
Think about it, when Talia found him he was catatonic and suffering from severe brain damage. Brain damage that she tried every natural means to heal before ultimately resorting to the pit. Ain't no way she was about to let the baby bird she literally nursed back to health go out into the world and ruin all of her hard work.
His mommy literally sent him off to become a crime lord and traumatize his father with a fucking safety helmet.
The anonymity of it was purely coincidental, but I'd bet my left tit that she emphasized that aspect of it to get him to use it without complaining about her perfectly reasonable overprotective tendencies.
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ditzybat · 4 months ago
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steph: emo fuck
jason: i am not emo
steph: you have daddy issues, two toned hair, wear copious amounts of leather, and i heard you belting a horrible rendition of a trophy fathers trophy son yesterday - just accept your fate
jason: … man my singing is beautiful youre just trippin
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punnifullife · 3 months ago
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Happier days
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fanaticalthings · 7 months ago
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Jason being the easiest kid is super funny. Bruce looking at Jason and remembering Dick at 18: “we can work through this. He’ll come around if I don’t give up on.”
Bruce, watching over a freshly street-snatched Jason: Why is he so calm
Having Dick as the rambunctious, feral, and unhinged first child must've given him SO much whiplash once Jason entered the picture. Lil guy just vibed in his own world. Just reading books and doing schoolwork. Baby Jason hurt nobody.
Bruce will just be going over the ground rules of the manor, remembering all the chaos Dick brought upon the household.
Bruce: No swinging from the chandelier.
Jason: ?? I wasn't planning to?
Bruce: No murder.
Jason: What? That never even crossed my mind-
Bruce: And please, for the love of God, don't sneak out and try to beat up the nearest criminal on our block
Jason:
Jason: WHO is responsible for these rules being created??
Bruce will just come home from a long day of work. He's tired and just wants a nice, quiet evening, but he's subconsciously psyching himself up to prepare himself for the chaos he'll witness once he enters the manor
but then Jason's just quietly doing his own thing, maybe even helping Alfred with some chores, reading, or just lounging about in the manor. In general, just causing no trouble and Bruce just turns to Alfred, all worried like, "Is he sick? I don't think children are supposed to behave this way."
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batcavescolony · 1 year ago
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Tim: I love Christmas
Jason: did your parents celebrate with you or something?
Tim: no, but while at boarding school my roommate wanted to watch Home Alone and I just loved the idea.
Steph: oh this will be fun
Tim: so I forged my parents signature and signed myself out. Took a cab home and set trapps all throughout my house. Now that was fun but I wanted to whole experience so I hired two goons to break into my house.
Jason: what the fuck?
Tim: they didn't get permanently hurt, I wasn't cruel. I did give them payment and obviously I didn't want my parents knowing so I just let them go after. It's was fun
Steph: sounds like you.
Tim: hey, we should do that! We have better training and traps! It could be Family bonding!
Steph: YES!
Jason: ...that does sound fun. I'm game.
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the-purple-possum · 6 months ago
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When I say I really want a Jason adopts tim fic, I don't mean I want him to become a parent at 19 to a teen like 2-4 years younger than him, I want Jason to meet Tim and decide that he wants Tim on his side.
I want Jason to adopt Tim as his Robin, like he decides that he wants to recruit this 15 year old that is some how the smartest and snarkiest person in Gotham. I don't want infantilised tim, I want a sorta Nani and Lilo sibling dynamic, but with a smaller age gap.
Like sure, Jason sees his little brother as some sort of soggy kitten that he must protect, but also a Tim that is very capable of looking after himself.
I want Tim to look at Jason, see Bruce back when he first donned the Cape and traffic light colours. And then in true Tim fashion decide to fix him, B was being too over protective since Red Hood showed up anyways.
Like imagine, Jason meeting Tim instead by accident when he drops in on a drug trade. Tim says some quip that throws him off his game while fighting. Jason basically losing to a very deadly fifteen year old who's not slept in 29 hours, and he thinks 'f it, I like the kid'. Then trying to recruit him consistently until Tim goes 'why tf not'.
I want enemies to caretaker, but they both think they're the caretaker
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clearnachopirate · 4 months ago
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saw a post abt J Gordon never being shocked by anyone after Dick's Robin, and I just wanted to add
hear me out: hes absolutely nonpulsed by every single one of them, except Duke.
2nd robin? figures, at least this ones not bubbling w rage.
3rd robin? devestated about the death, but this robin is clearly incredibly trained and intelligent. the most like batman at rhis point. no suprises there.
4th robin (steph): it had to happen at some point. rage reminisent of the 1st robin, hates cluemaster same way 1st hated Zarro
Cass: assassin. hes shocked shes the first assassin in the the crew
5th robin (Damian): of course Batman would turn up w a bio kid at this point. hes not worried. he knows Batman and knows he would never put one kid above another regardless of blood relation. plus after hed seen the kid fawning over a few strays, the kid just want that intimidating
Duke. The Signal. Daylight hero with living parents, more well adjusted (by Bat standards) than anyone else. Good kid, alltogether. Nothing strange about him, he meets him, shakes his hand, and passes over his card with his work and personal phone and a promise that if Duke needs anything, Jim'll do his best to help.
Hes done the same for every single kid in the Batclan, and when he actually gets a call a week later to backup, he calls in every resource he has because Batman is not losing another kid.
They bust the door down on Duke's last known location to find Duke patching up a minor injury, a newly unconscious Riddler a few feet away.
"Hey Commissioner. Didnt know for sure if I had this covered so I called backup just in case- oh, thats a lot of officers-"
Jim falls to his knees and tries to stop his heart palpitations. Of all the many things he expected, he could never have guessed the new kid would have common sense.
TL;DR: Duke has common sense. Gorden doesnt expect that.
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itsdabatt · 3 months ago
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wait why do you hate tim drake? asking genuinely as someone who doesn't know a lot about him & is curious
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Tim drake kicked my dog, killed my family, called me a bitch, left the toilet seat up, dishonored my cow,
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Hc that every member of the batfam is bestowed with the most gorgeous beautiful dark thick long eyelashes except for steph. she's ready to throw hands
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im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 2 years ago
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Batman had Danny by his leg. More specifically he was hanging Danny upside-down 40 stories in the air via said leg.
Okay. So Danny maaay have stolen some tech from a lab. Okay, a lot of tech. But Batman thought he was a witness or an accomplice! Not the perpetrator themselves! Does he do this to all his witnesses?
Appearently Danny said that last part out loud and his sass was unappreciated, hence Batman letting go. Unfortunately for both of them Danny didn't want to fall and he instinctually stayed there floating perfectly still in mid air.
Danny may be a terrible liar, but he was a phenomenal actor, especially when he's feeling spiteful. Alright, he thought random bullshit GO! Before Batman could comment, our little menace gave Batman a scandalized look, "You're a meta?!"
"No." The bats scowled even harder than before "Your abilities may have manifested just now."
Oh ho ho, Danny wasn't going to let him get away that easy. "My parents would have killed me if I had the meta gene. I know. They checked." That one wasn't exactly a lie. His parents would have seen any superpowers as confirmation that he or Jazz were ghosts and then it was game over and they did check thier DNA for something a lot when they were younger...huh. Thoughts for later than.
"How do you know you haven't gotten mutated by any of the stuff you deal with? Besides if they were my powers then I wouldn't still be hanging upside down."
Bats grunted in acknowledgment and just stared at him for a few seconds, which was uncomfortable. Lucky for him one of the other bats landed near Batman on the rooftop and asked about the situation. Danny didn't hesitate, "Batmans a meta! I'm stuck!"
"I am not"
"Are too!" Danny quipped back. He sounded kinda childish but he didn't particularly care at the moment. More bats came after the second one spilled the beans on some 'com' thing. They mostly mocked Batman and asked if he was okay, which he was but he would like to be let down please.
Eventually someone called 'Red Hood' showed up and was really really mad that Batman had threatened a kid.
There were fireworks after that. The kind that belonged on a soap opera and Danny wished he had popcorn for it. Unfortunately he was stuck disrespecting physics for the time being.
Or was he? The big bad bats attention wasn't on him at the moment now would be a good time to ru-
Danny screamed, genuinely startled at the sudden free fall. He heard multiple people swear and grappling hooks fire. The next thing he knew he was shaking while holding onto someone for dear life. It had been almost a full year since the accident and yet he still lost control of his powers sometimes when distracted.
Luckily Red Hood is super cool.
----
Aka Danny gaslight Batman into thinking he has superpowers he can't control.
Red Hood is mad Bruce threatened a child.
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weewoow-20706030 · 2 years ago
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Jason and Tim: *literally the most traumatic experience known to man, one that changes how anyone would look at them (e.g. Jason digging himself out of his own grave or Tim blowing up the leagues bases)*
Dick *absolutely mortified*: and you didn't tell me earlier because...?
Jason/Tim: idk, it never came up.
Dick: that's something you bring up!
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s1llystr4wb3rry · 6 months ago
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Hc that sometimes the bats use Dick’s name in the field when they are pissed off at him bc they can play it off as cursing at him and it makes Bruce have an aneurysm
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thebat-musicman · 12 days ago
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[One of those shows where an interviewer asks a question and then it shows a compilation of people answering it]
Vicki Vale: Who is the leader of the Gotham vigilantes?
Batman: Me. [he then stared at the camera until it cut away, after 10 seconds of silence]
Black Bat, signing: Jarro [she refused to elaborate when asked]
Red Hood: I would say Nightwing, but since he’s a goddamn Bludhaven TRAITOR, I guess it’s Oracle.
Red Robin, with a shit-eating grin: It’s Red Hood.
Spoiler: Brickothy [she holds up a brick that looks a little worn, like it was thrown at an extremely hard head]
Signal: Well Ace the Bathound appears to be the only one with brain cells soooooo
Robin: Me. [he then stared at the camera until it cut away, after 10 seconds of silence]
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reineydraws · 2 years ago
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so there's this post that talks about how people call jason's curved knife a kris but it's not a kris 'cuz why would he have a southeast asian knife? and op's tags say if you're gonna give him an 'exotic' weapon at least make him malay or something. a later reblog adds a filipino kris as an example, and then i was like, 'omg, jason in a barong tho.' SO i tried designing a bat-barong inspired by his hood logo, for a filipino jason haha. and now here we are! 😊✨️🇵🇭
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kokoa-la · 1 year ago
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Prompt from @help-i-need-a-cool-username
Jason has once again snuck into Gotham University. Now, before any assumptions are made onto why the crime lord would break into a college, the reason is because he likes the library. That's it. The public library is trashed and small, barely taken care of, but Gotham U's? It's beautiful. Multiple floors, organized and in sections, taken care of, alphabetical order, it's magnificent. The chairs were a reason alone to sneak in, but the students here added an extra charm. 
He had gone to the very back of the library on the second floor. This area was  pretty well hidden and enclosed. He would come here to read without anyone questioning him, even hiding the books he wasn’t finished with yet to continue on later. Jason wasn’t expecting someone to be so close to his spot though. A few tables across stood a student, thin, tall, with pitch black hair, baggy cargo jeans, and a white t-shirt. The other hadn’t noticed him yet, so he remained quiet and just watched. He was in front of a large white board on wheels, seemingly taken from the rooms he saw down the hall. 
“That doesn’t work, goddammit.”
On the white board was lines upon lines of equations- at least he thought they were equations, with most of them being letters and symbols rather than numbers. It made the vigilante’s brain hurt. The student - assumed STEM major - just kept mumbling to himself.
“Stupid physics, won’t allow interdimensional travel”
What? Jason may have been out of school since 15, but he knew no courses were asking for the answer to traveling between dimensions. It seemed the student had a habit of talking to himself when worked up or focused, possibly why he isolated himself from the rest of the library. 
“If your parents could do it, why can’t you? Think Danny, think!”
That sentence wasn’t concerning at all, but at least Jason learned the boy’s name. Danny seemed to have a strange background, what did he mean by ‘if your parents could do it’? Had his parents managed to travel between dimensions? The other was chewing on the cap of the white board marker, his other hand resting on his hip as he swayed back and forth.
“Oh! Oh! Oh! That! The thing! That thingy!”
Jason could practically see the lightbulb go on above Danny’s head. Just then the other erased a solid portion of the whiteboard and dropped to his knees, ouch. He started frantically scribbling, fast and messy, barely cohesive. Though, Jason was sure that if it was Tim sitting where he was instead, the boy could probably understand everything on that board. He’d stick to English literature, thank you very much. 
“That’s it! Oh my ancients! I got it!”
Danny practically jumped in the air, punching the air in triumph. Jason almost felt proud of him, this complete stranger he’s been watching, wow he was being creepy, huh? Danny shot both of his arms straight up, the marker gripped tightly in his right hand fist. 
“I did it!”
He looked so happy, so excited. He began to buzz, even spinning, before stopping mid loop and turning around slowly. Shit, Jason had been caught. To be fair, Danny hadn’t exactly turned around the whole time, meaning Jason was just watching his back the whole time as he worked through his… problem? It’s such a shame, Jason was thoroughly entertained by this random kid. 
“Uhhh, hi? How long have you been there?”
Oh shit, Jason had to talk now, didn’t he?
“Not very long, but long enough to know you were trying to solve interdimensional travel before apparently succeeding.” 
The color drained from Danny’s face. Whoops?
“Uhm, no I didn’t.”
Now that he got a closer look, the student looked like someone Bruce would adopt. Black hair, clear blue eyes, tan skin, sharp features, the whole nine yards. He was actually fairly attractive, maybe even cute. 
“Really? I could have sworn that you said ���stupid physics won’t allow interdimensional travel’”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah sure, and I’m a student here.”
“Wait, you’re not a student here?”
“That’d only be true if you were lying.”
“Well I’m not so-”
“Uh huh, sure you’re not.”
“Look dude-”
“Jason.”
“Look Jason, there’s no way that I could solve interdimensional travel, the multiverse doesn’t exist.”
“Look Danny-”
“How do you know my name?”
“I won’t tell a single soul if you explain how you did it to me”
Curiosity won his gambit. Would he regret what he was about to say? Perhaps.
“Maybe over a coffee?”
He knew it was worth it when the marker hit the floor and Danny moved his hand to cover his red face. Well, it wasn’t the first time he’s done something he regrets, maybe this time it’d be a cute STEM major who knows the secrets to the multiverse. 
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the-purple-possum · 10 months ago
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You know something?
I want to headcanon that Bruce has spent so much time around Alfred that he accidentally uses British insults and terminology.
For instance, he's at a gala, hes having a conversation, and the person says something so infuriating that he calls them a Pillock, and since its America, everyone just stops and looks very confused.
Dick finds this hillarious, until he starts doing it too. He'll accidentally ask someone for a 'rubber' and everyone looks horrorfied.
Tim has learnt from Dick's mistakes, he phases out the English terms, except every now and then he says a word with a very posh English accent. Mostly words he's heard Alfred say a lot, such as 'dinner', and he has to stop and resound that word until it sounds right.
Jason on the other hand, he comes back to Dick slipping all over the place, he finds it hillarious, especially as he tried to fight Nightwing, and out of nowhere he hears the word 'twat'. He can't take it seriously. He doesn't even know where Dick heard it, especially as Alfred never swears.
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