#really got me good in this instance
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→ Kerros 'Rook' Severan-Laidir
"Varric, you're asking me if you can take my son on a wild goose chase for Solas, of all fucking people..."
"Look, I've tried talking to Kerros, you know I have -- I was there in Skyhold when he was all scraped knees and fairytales, you think I want to see him on the trail of the most dangerous man in Thedas? Shit, even I'm not sure I want to be on this trail right now. Point is, he's a grown man... grown, Rion. And he lives in this world too. I'm not asking you, Scars, your son is telling you. "
The nickname is pointed. A callback to a better time, when both of them had no idea where the Inquisition would lead. The snarl drops from Rion's lips, his face softening.
"I know."
And then Rion is silent for a moment longer than Varric would like. He can do nothing but watch and take note of the man he once called Inquisitor, and more importantly, the man he now calls an old friend. The carefully constructed fingers of Rion's left hand clamp tightly around the head of his walking stick, his weight growing too heavy for his own legs to bear. It's punctuated by the strain at the corner of his eyes, the tightness of his mouth. Pain seeps from him with every breath, shuddering, as though he was stood on the icy banks of the Emprise du Lion ten years ago, and not drowning in the evening sun on the shores of Rialto Bay.
"Can you keep him safe?" comes the inevitable question any reasonable father would ask.
"No." Varric shakes his head. Not a promise anybody can make, these days, least of all him. But he lifts his heavy hands, hesitating for a moment over Rion's own before they envelop the gloved construct over the top of his walking stick. It's jarringly cold and devoid of a pulse. Varric briefly recalls the feeling of the anchor pulling at reality, and his stomach begins to twist and churn in memory of something that no longer exists. "But I can promise I will try, with everything I have. You gotta let him fly, Rion, sooner or later."
Another pause, but this one seems less... reluctant. More considerate. Rion's gaze shifts downwards to Varric's hands, and a slow, sad smile crosses his face.
"What was it you always called him? For stealing your rings when you weren't looking..."
Varric smiles, eyes stinging. They both pretend it is the sunlight. "Rook."
#da:tv#da: the veilguard#veilguard spoilers#not really but for the caps#c: kerros severan#c: rion severan#somethin about varric facing the memory of a 10 year old skinned knees and all smiles kid who used to pester him for stories and card games#really got me good in this instance#anyway that's kind of a snippet of how i picture kerros getting roped into this after getting a rivaini noble killed#and grandpa amrun having to be like 'lay low for a bit' so kerros takes that to mean 'save the world big time'
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holy shit I did NOT realize how popular my "I will remove my teeth, for I want to remain kind despite my anger" quote is. I just googled it for fun to see what would come up, a bunch of people are quoting it not knowing who its from, an artist called Kuma made an album titled that, so bizzare
#also people are misatributing the quote to kuma and the first google result for the quote attributes it to them#which is kind of upsetting but not a huge deal whatever#its cool it seems to have entered culture like that#i get very mixed feelings about those instances where something I made got WAY more popular than i expected and#people are reposting it or using it without attributing it to me#i both feel bad when stuff isnt credited to me but also good that my art has expanded beyond my reach#its out of my control kind of and other people have it now#which IS what i want for my art and how i generally think art should be#but it is also obviously causes some anxiety to lose control and really full ownership of something that is yours#i think also there is anxiety about something of mine being taken by someone bigger than me#since they can just claim it as their own and most people will know them as the origin#not talking specifically about this quote btw just any of my work#ive definetly been thinking about that hbomberguy vid lol#i hope any of this made sense im a little high rn
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[ID: Panels from chapter 101 of the Natsume's Book of Friends manga. Natsume thanks Natori and Matoba for coming to rescue him and Nyanko-sensei. Natori's serious but unsurprised expression remains unchanged over three panels. Matoba's lips are slightly parted, and in the second panel he says, "Huh…?" /end ID]
the contrast in reactions between natori and matoba...matoba and his little taken aback "what the hell am i supposed to do with this bid for human connection" face that i hold so dear. idk what's going on with natori exactly but my guess is he's just. really scared for natsume. he must have been, to have gone to get matoba. natsume doesn't get natori's affectionately indulgent look until after the danger has passed. natori's gotta get his game face on.
#matoba gets a couple of affectionately indulgent looks from natori though. at least two#once when natori is telling natsume that matoba always liked cats (he's talking to natsume but looking at matoba)#and once when natori shows up to save matoba's ass and says 'i was trying to help actually'#WE GET IT. YOU CARE HIM.#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#natori shuuichi#matoba seiji#my posts#homura cats arc#but i don't think 'game face' is quite right either...natori's game face looks more determined. eyebrows drawn down#this is just such a stoic face. i can't really figure out what he's thinking here#i actually pulled out these panels to talk about matoba but i got distracted by natori. and others before me have already made#some very good posts collecting instances of matoba reacting this way. i just couldn't remember if these panels were included
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cheneige moment aka me trying to learn how 2 draw rsa students
#u can probs read better @ full screen image lol sowwy i cram a bunch of tiny things onto one canvas#twst#twisted wonderland#cheneige#neige leblanche#chenya#cereal tries to draw#marinating them in my mind i think theyd be a fun combo#also guest star vil and cater hanging out 😌#i also want to see more cater and chenya interactions but this aint about them [yet] [ill give chenya a caytober day later] [maybe neige to#maybe they can share a day lol we'll see#anyway didnt chenya and neige have like one(1) interaction in an event?? i feel like they did. or am imagining things.#am i mixing it up w/fanart??? i feel like theres one instance where neige and chenya were in a situation#and chenya was being a silly goober and neige was like chenya!! dont tease them!!!#but idr wtf was going on lol. i feel like it wouldve been glomas bc idr if theyre in any other events 2gether#ik chenyas at portfest but idr neige being there#well whether that was a real thing or not i do see it in my mind palace. they have that vibe TO ME!!!#chenya being a lil scamp and neige being like u are so fun but also u must be nice blease;#i love the comparisons of like. chenya to riddle + chenya to neige + cater to riddle#it's all connected... in my mind map.... similarities....#also trey is there. trey to chenya and cater as well LOL#anyway i love when rsa characters are on screen being like tralala teehee i love having a good time#and then a nrc character is clenching their fist like I WANT HIM DEAD#theyre so funny. why are they so dramatic. actually nvm hs rivalries are just like that#except usually both schools want blood so maybe rsa is the weirdo school here#the rain suddenly got really heavy while i was typing all this but then it chilled again#u know how it is w/a pre-hurricane#anyway i love that cater kinda knows chenya by extension of riddle and trey like he recognized him w/familiarity in the tea party or w/e#so i think it would be so funny if he was like wtf beyonce is dating my besties' bestie#tumblr cut off the rest of my tag rambling ig. SORRY.
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You doing ok?
hi
#i'm alive. simply being chewed upon by multiple things#work is more stressful than i'd like it to be. for instance i'm hoping that i submitted my time off notification for tomorrow correctly#because otherwise it might read as a no call no show and i would . like to continue having a job#now to be fair. i do have it on the system that i requested it at the beginning of the month and i emailed my supervisor about it last week#so even if i didn't submit it correctly i'm likely in the clear#but nonetheless. i also got a firm talking-to the other day and now i am on ✨thin ice✨ for dicking around too much#because they track ur idle time at my work (computer) and mine was Quite High so my supervisor was like man what the hell is this#but even though she was kind of baffled at me spending so much time dicking around#she couldn't even really be all that mad in the end because i'm still doing good numbers and have made no (zero) mistakes#so she was just like. it's kind of impressive that your numbers look this good when you literally have 50% idle time#so she goes imagine what you could do if you weren't wasting so much time#and yeah i can whip out some Really Good Numbrers when i put the effort in.#so the problem is not my numbers it's just that i'm not spending long enough doing my tasks for the day#but i don't want to drag out those tasks intentionally so i've just been upping my own standards/goals#as much as i hate giving any more of my brain power than is necessary to giant corporations#it's still easy to feel smug after you get Talked To and then immediately turn around and show off#like yeah i coulda been doing this good the whole time. literally pulling up by 20 points. i just didn't want to.#trying to keep everyone's expectations low but accidentally toed the line of um. not working enough to keep my job#...anyway. EAS national weather system issued a . hi#i haven't forgotten about all of you i'm just having trouble tracking all my shit that i got going on ✨ yaaaaaaay#im gonna post things on AO3 soon. i promise. my weakness is that i get sidetracked trying to unwind from work#...i know i said 'soon' last time. but this time for real#asks#not sexy#anonymous
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Something I think ought to be more readily-available and encouraged is simply... taking parental classes. I wish it were more common for people to realize just how hard - and important - parenting is, and indeed, that we all could use help with taking care of young folk. It's really alarming that popular opinion is still that parental classes are only for the "fuck-up" parents, or the parents who utterly failed. It should be seen as a good thing to take parental classes - especially on your own volition. It should be seen as imperative for one to take them, it should be a free, accurate, and scheduled occurrence so that people of any background are able to attend.
#politics#parenting#i might have posted something like this before but who knows. certainly not me (the blogger)#of course some cities and states in the USA for instance will have programs like this but it's not.. across the board from what i understand#my city has a few free parenting classes for really any parent and i am really happy to hear that#my dad talks about the classes he took and most of them are geared toward fathers (the classes he takes). i think that's a great thing#i wish that was more common when i was a kid. when i'm older you bet i'm taking advantage of parenting classes <3#even if i have no children i won't be child-free unless i live in isolation. i want to treat them well#i would be devastated if a kid were to have a horrible experience around me because i was an asshole or i was uncompassionate or ignorant#the overall message i got as a kid was that parenting classes were a punishment for the fuck-up parents and THAT is fucked up to me#the idea that parenting is simultaneously natural AND that you're Always Correct and Never Wrong is dangerous at best#like i bet my abuser thought they were a good adult to me and that i was just a fucked-up *child*
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wah i looove their designs and animation...
#sketched last night looped ''hot air balloon'' track last night rewatched elemental last night you know just how it is....i love it all augh#elemental#elemental 2023#pixar elemental#elemental fanart#ember lumen#wade ripple#it's so fun how just going w/the flow waviness drawing a wade is Correct. some flamey shiveriness / jaggedness in ember's lines is Correct#and it's all the more fun how it's like oh ofc not quite hitting the mark of how great their designs really are....so so good#and of course the expressive elasticity not only with their faces but the way their bodies ft. respective elements can be expressive#in addition to just usual [assume you have a usual literal human body] expressiveness options in posture / movement etc lol#also was thinking about how like we know everything we Need to know re: wade & his dad but also have so [zero details there]#which is interesting to wonder about. kinda assumed like oh a parent got sick & died but now considering how it could've been an accident..#the tiny layer of A Reaction he has when ember's talking abt parents giving up everything for you: could be nothing much; or Anything#also noting i Didn't note the first instances that they hear each other's names or introduce themselves thusly lol#or at least i sure can't recall it. just start knowing the other's name partway through which Isn't A Problem but it's like#ooh just more to consider & reexamine. i love to pick up More Details & that's helped by my difficulty in catching them in the first place#one thing about me i don't Catch things i don't Notice shit i don't Get stuff. and also of course: i do though lol#always a trip when it's like oh i love this movie i'm seeing it probably the two dozenth time#and then i notice something for the very first time that was clearly straightup meant to be Gotten upon the immediate viewing#even to the extent that smthing later seems to be kinda happening out of nowhere if you didn't. & i'd just rolled with it#like ok i'm autistic ofc that's something i gotta do all the time. & the adhd means i might keep getting distracted around the same pts.
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lots of respect for ppl who don't post/talk abt certain oc things due to not wanting to spoil their own stuff, however i will not be doing that. by the time any of this stuff is finished it'll probably be different anyways
#i have this thing where i simultaneously cannot ever find the words to articulate my oc stuff and the inability to shut up about it#who the fuck knows if i'll actually finish it. i mean i'd love to. i WANT to but these are (for now) passion projects and i can't devote#myself to them full time so! i'll hand over the details#nothing wrong with not wanting to spoil things either i get it. i jsut talk a lot. esp if i'm excited abt smthin#actually now that i think abt it there are some ttw things i keep close to my chest#partially for spoiler things but also the canon of the story is so wildly different from what it has been that it is the one case where i#don't want to introduce something cool and neat only to have it scrapped later bc this blog is evidence that i have done that. many times#and thinking abt storytelling the way i imagine honeybee being told is nonlinear so at times it necessitates me 'spoiling' things from#p1 and p2 for instance to explain how they got to where they are in p3#i'm thinking a bit more and with ttw being horror i think the next time i get around to taking a solid jab at it i will actually be more#cagey about certain things. esp in regards to sanguine as a whole#but it's underbaked in the middle rn so. shrugs#i still also don't really mind spoilers in general so i don't give much of a shit abt spoiling my own stuff yknow?#good stories are good regardless of spoilers and my intention is to make good stories. not that i can be the one to judge that tho#but i like what i make and that's the really matters yeeeeeeeehaaaawwwwwww#rambles
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SAD ABOUT ADAM
#saw#did you all know it’s a school night. and i have to be at work in six hours and one minute.#Wow six hours just like saw.#i wish someone would euthanize me humanely.#sometimes the credits roll and i’m like Oh wow i really did just sit there and watch the whole thing#tonight for instance#i was only gonna watch to this one scene and then i was gonna write this fic i’ve had in my mind for a while#(that i’ve only made like 450 words of progress on lol(#but i got past that scene and i was like okay….. welllll…….. what if i just keep watching . again#it’s fine. i’m depressed. i can’t be too hard on myself#okay good night fellow sufferers. more of this tomorrow.
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also i watch The Wild Robot the other day and oh my god 11/10, absolutely beautiful in every sense of the word, would cry again 👍
#josh talks#literally i cried several times throughout the movie#i do tend to be a crier when it comes to movies#but i have never cried like. in so many instances throughout#like usually its like a big climatic scene or the endings of things that make me cry#but this movie could hit you hard from the very beginning#anyway i absolutely fucking loved it#hit me in the Autism Feels (tm) and also had Found Family and i always eat that shit up#i NEED a physical copy of this movie#also side note the minecraft movie trailer played as a preview for this movie and GOD is that embarrassing for minecraft#to have that mess shown before the stunning masterpiece that is The Wild Robot#but it also made me Sad about the minecraft movie and what it couldve been again#imagine if the love and care put into the Wild Robot was put into the minecraft movie....#cuz the wild robot was gorgeously animated and had powerful emotional themes (that i doubt the minecraft movie will have)#there was even this preview for this movie called like Dog Man or something?#and it seems to be an adaptation of a book by the captain underpants guy#and even with such a silly premise and presumably having a target audience of young kids#it was animated so charmingly!! it was pretty and oozed personality!#and looking at the cover of the book it seems to have done a good job of adapting the artstyle into 3D while#also polishing it up while still capturing a similar vibe as the original#like dang. i dont mean to insult dog man cuz i really dont know anything about it. but dang dog man got#so much more love and care into it than the minecraft movie seems to have gotten#anyway sorry to derail from wild robot to minecraft it was just so jarring to have that trailer play before this awesome movie#pls go watch it if u can <3#ive been telling people i know that if they decide to go watch it to tell me so i can tag along and watch it again
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Saw a poll asking which fast food I'd give up for a week for a million dollars, and it's like I'd give up fucking food for a week for that price, there's literally nothing that wouldn't be on the chopping block when it's giving it up for a week
Not to mention I already barely have fast food once a month, and that's only if you count the costco pizza or burgers from the general store (which are more like backyard bbq style... like... the not great but not bad kind from a grill, you know?)
So... money please, I already won, pay me
#like I'm not even kidding about if I got it signed in a contract that I'd get paid; that I'd give up eating for a week for that much#pretty sure while it wouldn't be good for me I'd make it; and... that would only be like 7 less meals that week for an average week#I wouldn't be happy; I don't like being hungry (which is pretty much my forever state; I'm hungry as hell right now)#I know enough to know it would probably take a toll on me given the way I'll prowl the house over and over looking in vain for food#like it would be bad#but there's not a lot I wouldn't do for that kinda money; I'm not gonna pretend that a million isn't a price I can be bought at#basically no hurting anyone; nothing that would do permanent damage... really really gross stuff would cost more#but I don't pretend to have too much pride for this#if you're a sick freak with too much money hit me up and we can probably make a deal#anyway my real point in this post was just the fact that like... give up fast food for a week?#for that price I'd give it up for life; I lose at most costco pizza and perhaps food from the general store; though it isn't fast food#I don't like fast food much; it's already too pricey; you're paying me to do what I already want to do#and with that money I could hire someone to come to my house and teach me to cook#I could pay someone in town to get my groceries... it's a not brainer#hell; for like... mhh... ten million I'd never eat at a restaurant again; though there I'd like to negotiate exceptions to try stuff#like... make the deal that I can't go places regularly; and I can't loop hole this to just always be traveling#but that like if I travel to Japan or something I can try the restaurants there#...twenty five million and I never eat at any restaurant anywhere ever (I'd pay people to have me over for dinner)#one hundred million I never eat anyone's cooking again (I'd go to Japan for instance and pay someone to teach me to cook)#(have them eat with me to make sure I made it right; so I could experience it but no one else made it)#these are my prices#but for real; I never ever ever even go to restaurants; there's exactly one kinda high end pizza place I'd miss with that deal#and again... I'd just go in and pay someone to come help me figure out how to make it at home
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Idk if this is a hot take but the varric reveal really did work on me. It got me ok. Blindsided and devastated. And a piece of writing I did not expect from the game
#dav spoilers#varric surviving was totally handwaved by me as being another instance of overly saccharine everything-works-out-in-the-end shlock#that when the reveal happened I was so surprised like I didn’t think they’d do me like that#and also thankful!!!! like it sounds terrible but I’m glad he died#I was always one of the ‘let varric rest!’ squad so. I got my wish I suppose x’D#and it’s GOOD#thank you for reminding me that there really are stakes#and that time really does progress#almost fucking forgot with the entire first 35 hours 😭😭
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i know I must be pretty normal cause my last two and most significant long running relationships ended with one of us in the mental hospital + one of us in jail. respectively
#if the tables had been turned i would blame karma but i was the one who got screwed over first. also in my defense i had talked myself out#of killing myself but my ex didnt care and they forced me into the psych ward so they wouldnt have to deal with me#and not to seem so victimized but i didnt even call the cops on the second instance. i didnt even press charges. i didnt want anything to do#with any of it#i couldnt love my ex after they did what they did cause the psych ward and the hospitla were traumatizing for me it was a horrifying#dehumanizing experience and they didnt really care. and i wish things had gone the other way around because i love x so much and both times#i landed him in jail i didnt press charges and id never want to it wouldnt do anyone any good and it wouldnt teach him any lesson and like..#where is the line with me?#i left him but i do still love him. i dont think i could survive being with him and i do feel optimistic about my future sometimes without#him cause wow that was...heavy. but i dont understand....he really made me feel like shit once and i deliberately overdosed and he took me#to uc and he actually stood next to me and talked them out of taking me back to the psych ward because i freaked out so bad and he always#listened when i would tell him about how horrible it was.#and when he did that i thought it was a sign of how things were going to be different this time around. because he wouldnt do that to me.#well i guess i did it to him
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played hades 2 for 12 hours today......... melinoe eris yuri
who said that
#the world is conspiring for me to ignore all my responsibilities#but yes i think this game is like the only instance i can feel like i'm exceptionally good at a video game#bc i really sweat it out and got all the way to the final boss of the underworld section \o/ yippee#and then i got my ass handed to me but oh well#anyways i played hades 1 in ea and it's flabbergasting how much more content hades 2 has right now comparatively.
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So I'm watching this documentary on HBO called Savior Complex. It's very well executed. And I'm on the second episode and they are interviewing this girl's mother. The 'boss' mother of this organization. And they're talking about an employee who left after three months and she's saying I don't think its fair to say that her daughter was immoral or unethical. And the thing is. This woman, the daughter, has no medical training. Formal medical training. No idea how to diagnose, reevaluate, and administer proper medication. It doesn't matter if she has great moral standing and she's trying to help. It doesn't matter that she was taught how to put an I.V. in or how to measure arm measurements for malnutrition. She's playing with prescription medication that she has no training with. She's not a hospital and she's not upholding medical standards. What she's doing is unethical. She's causing harm where she's trying to do good. On a scale that wouldn't be possible if she didn't have the backing of evangelists within her church. What she's doing is wrong. It doesn't matter if she's doing it in the name of the Lord or from the goodness of her heart. She's actively taking part in dubious medical practices where she could have given the resources to trained professionals. She could have kept doing the basic treatment of housing and feeding individuals and then just taking them to the doctors. But she took it a step further where she had no basis of knowledge.
#look i took an ethics class and it was filled with nurses you need to take that course#this isnt like some herbal cure its highly volatile given in the wrong dose#she doesnt know what shes doing and its dangerous#and before when she was being interviewed the daughter shes saying of course i had a medical professional with me when i was doing these#things but they interviewed the medical professional that was listed with being with her and that nurse said she wasnt there#. . . i dont think they had a system of when someone entered their medical area.. . . probably wouldve helped a lot#im so angy and not even about the ethics#this is a much larger problem#and the documentary goes into it and theres a lot to talk about#but that instance really got under my skin#'but im doing good so obviously i cant be wrong' those words are so deadly
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yesterday I had my rescheduled-due-to-COVID shoulder appointments and I got to spend 20 minutes digging my car out (with help!) and drive through one of the worst winter storms I've seen in A While to get to them
bc like look were the roads horrible? yes. was visibility horrible? yes. did my workplace literally close and lock the doors? yes. but I was NOT gonna reschedule my appointments again for a little snow.
#btw ''a little snow'' in this instance translates to like 15 inches#the Midwest got hit HARD yesterday#but I drove as careful as I could and everything was done and finished#and now I wait until my follow-up next week for a shoulder treatment plan#but my ankle! I had an MRI for that as well yesterday!#and when my doctor got the results today she sent me a message saying#''you really did a number on your ankle! you definitely need to be seeing a specialist so good thing you've got an appointment today''#(not exactly that but that was the gist. tho she did outright say I did a number on my ankle)#so yeah my ankle is Fucked Severely but the specialist I saw today is optimistic it can be treated without surgery#wait where's that meme I made a while back I'm gonna post it again#speechie sucks at health#speecher speaks
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