#i left him but i do still love him. i dont think i could survive being with him and i do feel optimistic about my future sometimes without

[mrmeepsmadmind]

i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb

[monards]

i know hoyo is setting up rhine to have good intent and whatever in her trying to 'save' khaneri'ah or whatever; but i REALLY hope they stay with the cruel persona thats been built up for her. because it would be so wonderful to see a character who had good intent in the beginning just get absolutely corrupted; with the inability to ever go back to that prior state purely because of what had happened. also because there is NO way in her turning back after all that shit

[shilohtx]

i know I must be pretty normal cause my last two and most significant long running relationships ended with one of us in the mental hospital + one of us in jail. respectively

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Bloody Letters | Banda Sunato x GN!Reader

Summary: Banda is in prision, you the only survivor of his killing are still being haunted by him in a simple way. Letters.

Warnings: Banda is a warning himself  - Toxic!Relationship - Traumatic!Reader - Obsessive!Banda - Mentions of Gore and Mutilation - Mentions of sex - Reader gets called Bird - MDNI - +18 -

 

The first one came after he was arrested. It was only one week and yet he seemed to be missing you.

"Hello my Bird, each day in here its a torture I cant endure without you. Do you remember that week when I could not go out because the police was near our home? We had such a great time. I dont remember a place where I did not fuck you nice and full. The house never smelled better, sex and blood...the memory of it makes me hard while I write this. Why dont you send me some of these pics I took during that time? It would help me so much.

With devotion, your Banda"

You had pucked after it, wishing that by ignoring him he would let you alone. But you knew better.

At court you were called to testify against him. And you did, the horrors you had survived were showed to you once more.  But you stood your ground. The most sickering thing was him. He looked proud of himslef after each relate of how he killed and dismemberment a victim was told, and when he looked at you. It was a look so confused, his eyes like an abyss of pure evil and possession.

You had to stay in your parents home after that day.

"My Dear Bird, you looked so stunning at court today. Are you eating well? I see you having lose some weight. But thats fine, we can work that up once im out of here.

I must say, I was quiet sad that you did not testify on my side. Didnt you say you loved me ? That we would be together till death ?

Maybe you forgot your place. Maybe your wings are growing again.

See you soon my bird"

"Bird.

Why are you not responding ? Do you know how hard its to get these letters out ?

Do you think you can go back to normal and escape me ? Im in your life now, I left part of me inside you multiple times. You cant just ignore that, or what ? Did you get a new partner? Bird no one would ever care for you like I did. We bathed together in the blood of that woman!! Do you remember ? You were crying so much and it was such a good thing to see..."

Each day you waited that they will stop coming. That whoever was allowing these letters out would have some compassion for you.

You could not sleep or eat. Each sound made you remember him and his tortures. The dark was once again your biggest fear, each shadow made you think it was him.

"My Dear Bird, sorry my last letters were too violent, I now see my mistake.

The therapist  here says I should learn to control my impulses, how would he react if I told him i already imagined him dead by my knife ? Do you think he would react at all ?

You know I havent see it in so long. I miss it. Remember who I used it to ambush you that night ? I accidentally cut you, that was a real accident. I did not get to enjoy the moment. All the other ones....oh I did. The moments we shared are engraved in my mind forever now. Much like how my name its on your skin.

You havent remove it have you? I put so much effort on it...it would be a shame if you removed it.

Well I guess i will have to do it again then. We can do it as a part of our reunion.

With care, Banda"

The wait for his sentence was long. One more time, you had to see him one more time and then he would be gone of your life forever.

"My Bird.

Can you believe we will be seeing each other again ? We will soon reunite!!

I hope you smile more this time. You know I always loved that smile of yours....

You can cry too. It did things to me when you cried.

Have I mention how I keep dreaming of you? Its a shame I cant shove my dick inside you like I used to. You made the most delicious noises, specially when you were not fully awake and then when you did notice what whats happening...

Im getting hard just by thinking of it..."

"For the crimes the accused Banda Sunato has commitmet he is sentenced to death penalty with no chance for a appeal" The judge said and you felt like the world was off from you. You fell on the court's chair your family and Friends crying and hugging you. The family of the dead victims crying too.

But him. He was not crying. He was smiling that sick smile of his. His eyes pointed at you like a predator seeing his prey. For the first time you held his gaze and you saw how he did a move to try and come to you but was soon stopped by some guards.

"My Little Bird...

You were so beautiful at court today as well. And with your family no less, I have wanted to meet them for sometime now. What does they think of our relationship? Does they like me ? Does your father aprove of me ? I hope your mom cocks just as well as you used to. I cant wait to sit all together and tell them all the fantastic times we had together.

Where should I start ? The first night? The first time I took you ? When you saw me murder another person ? Maybe when you cocked their flesh ?-"

"Stop stop" You said covering your ears as your father read the letter with more and more ferocity.

"I will kill him myself" He said almost throwing the letter when a part catched his eyes. He went pale as he read it.

"What is it?" Your mom asked as she hugged you.

"I- I dont think-"

"Please Dad...what is it?" You begged now

"Dear Bird, do you know they grant a final wish for these whos sentence is death ? Besides a meal we get one final wish. And my wish was to see you once more, just you and me alone in a room. I hope the  judge sees my love for you and gives me that final wish....I cant wait to smell you again-"

"No!!" Your mother screamed taking the letter from your father then throwing it. "He cant ask for it! I wont let them go, the judge wont- the judge wont aprove it" Your mother said between sobs.

But justice failed you and did grant Babda his final wish and even demanded that you must be present or pay a big amount of money.

The light blue room and too bright light was making your skin crawl back as you waited. You knew there were officers and your own parents behind the glass but that still did not ease your nerves.

Finally he came guided by another officer, he was chained, feet and hands. Once sat in front of you the guard made sure he could not move or reach you before leaving.

Banda smiled at you "Hello my Bird, did you get my letters ? You never wrote back" He asked a slight mocking tone on his side.

"I burned them. You are never going to hurt me again. You are dead Banda, after this you will be nothing" You said back trying to keep your voice steady and calm even if your fingers were thighten the edges of the chair.

This caused Banda' smile to slowly dissapear. His posture now tense, he was studying you. Like many times before.

"Do you really think this is the end? That I wont ever be part of you again? My Bird...we are mean to be together till the end. If its not by my hand then i can assure you. Fate will bring us together"

"You can go to hell Banda, and take that fate with you too. We are done" You got up giving him one last look before walking out of the room. Once outside you collapsed on your parents arms, the start of a panic attack coming.

"Its over Dear, its over"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Shibuya was always packed with people and while you were not really feeling that much need to go out, you knew you needed to take your life back.

The lights changed and you started to cross, lost in the music from your phone you failed to notice something from the sky...

Next thing you knew you were in the middle of the city but...it was empy. No noise, no cars, nothing. Fear went over your body as you checked your phone. Dead, no signal.

What...was this another episode ?

"Well, seems like fate does wants us together my Bird" The voice who owned your nightmares spooke from behind.

You turned and there he was, his smile back and blood dripping from his hand where now a knife stood.

"Oh dont look at me like that...you know I cant contain myself if you do" Banda said twisting the knife with expertise "five minutes, thats your head start"

Your heart fell as your legs started to tremble but you could not move. This was not possible. How could he be here...and where were the people ?

"Run little Bird, becuase once I catch you. You wont be moving for a long time..."

And so you ran knowing he never said these things without meaning them.

[dailyjasontodd]

mods, what would YOU guys have liked to see from a Jason Lives AU? Where he still become red hood? Where he (temp or not) retires? I've been thinking about it a lot

I wrote this on my personal blog years and years ago and some of the things i would like to see are

his relationship with Bruce still becoming strained. death or not i think they had some issues to sort through and they both need help AND more importantly they need proper development they were never truly given in canon. the canon jason lives au sorta started strongly in that regard (and kept it strong until the end tbh, it was everything else that was fucked up) but well.

While i do think retiring from Robin for a bit would be good for Jason i hate HATE when people just turn him into a civilian and do the whole twitter-esque "he can help more outside of being a vigilante!!!". like its a bad idea for bruce, and its a bad idea for jason sorry. i think he would try to give it a try, focus on being Jason Todd, and finding out who he is outside of Robin and outside of the expectations for him and not needing to be on constant survival mode, but ultimately i think he would become another vigilante anyways. maybe return to robin. maybe something new. idc.

(in my old blog i said i liked him becoming Red Robin, and designing a new suit with the help of Bruce and Dick since he was never given his own Robin design during his original run, and not only does he deserve it but its very symbolic that he really was running around in dick's hand me downs for years. but it would be fun if he got a completely new name too, a few years ago Cardinal was very popular but my birds knowledge has become very rusty.. i remember also liking Shrike)

people might not like this idea but i do like him somewhat following up Dick's steps and forming his own little team too, especially because he lacked a strong support system outside of Bruce, you know? Dick had the titans when he left, Jason never had anyone but a friend here and there that were vaguely mentioned and not fleshed out. So i think a good step forward for Jason would be to have his own team (my usual pick is eddie / rose / connor sorry not sorry #mytitans but i'm also down for ocs, i've made a few of those too lmao)

I really think regardless of him living he would still think some people deserve nothing but death. Maybe he wouldn’t straight up kill people, but there’s a fat chance there’s times when he didn’t do “everything” he could to save some people who didn’t deserve it and i think he would still argue with bruce about it and i even like the idea of his own team having that argument as well, love the idea of connor carrying the duty of being their moral compass over there at times

that's some specific stuff i would love for a jason lives au. my vague wishes are

let him live

don't torture him

dont make him suffer anymore

dont turn him into a villain

-🐅

[justcallmesakira]

BESTIE IF U DONT DO THIS REQ N I WILL FACKING EAT UR MUTUALS

DAZAI WITH A SISTER DAZAI WITH A SISTER DAZAI WITH A SISTER!!

she has black cat energy and err makes suicidal jokes here and then but never does t and chuuyas always the one who pulls her away from dazais tendencies because he DOES NOT want reader to follow dazais steps and err dazai and reader have a 2 year gap and err basically dazai took her away with him when he left and thats were she sort of stopped talking BECAUSE BOOM CHIKA BOOM ODAS DEATH LEFT HER MORE TRAUAMATIZED THAN THE KIDS ASAGIRI BLEW UP!!! so errr crack and chuuya and reader is ummmm AHEM AHEM AHEM (cough coug)

AND BASICALLY MORI HAS THIS like obsession of bringing reader back to the mafia like he constantly says stuff like "Dazai, my offer still stands but please remember that i would really really love to see your dear sister back first" LIKE YKNOW WHAT I AM SAYING???????????

DAZAI AND HIS YOUNGER SISTER!

Sypnosis: you are the younger sister of Da-dazai! Is he a great brother or not? UPPP TO YOU! >< oh and maybe hide your secret vists with chuuya please!!

Genre: crack and heavy angst! (dont question it)

Warnings: suicidal themes! cans of gasoline, glitter bombs, reader is very quiet type, manipulation (for good use!)

A/N: yummy yummy

uh oh! this is gonna be so damn messy

so um first of all! i really think reader would be very intelligent like dazai like oh fuck! i just got under a whole rubble of rocks by some guy who btw is the enemy of my brother quick! think of something

and then theres this bsd aesthetic plan you make and just survive! to the shock of your horror... :D

okay but in all seriousness! he defiently jokingly gave you his suicide guide to if u ever felt inspired by him

VERY VERY NORMAL BROTHER ACTIVITY!!1

dazai stop influencing people around you to plug off them self challenge impossible: GO!!

if you do however join his meticulous activites kunikidas actually going to blow up

😇

but imagine how cute it would be a black cat energy young sis and a golden retriver brother like bish forget romantic relationships like dazai who sometimes forget he left his sister at work!

but ynkow mf dazai always wants to keep close to you because he was never really there (like my fake as friends🙄) back in the mafia! woohoo

so now you can asks him for whatever you want but now he actually feels guilty because you have now become the silent type and dont really talk that much

Great job dazai! best brother everr!❤️

Imagine running away from the mafia with ur lil sister then realising she doesnt even want to talk anymore and that you might actually failed as a big brother even after buying her a whole lotta stuff

COULDNT BE OSAMU DAZAI GUYS!!!

tell him to take you to an amusement park and he will! but dont be surprised if you see him trying to run to jump off a bridge because he does not have for the sake of god any money!

AYY dazai cosplaying toji to get milk? real or fake??? find out here!

dont click on the link :3

ANYWAYS he definetly tries his best to get you back to talking sure the only thing he could do is talk to himself with you beside him doodling some stuff but yknow...it genuinely makes him form a sad smile when he gets reminded that maybe if he were a better brother and actually comforted you it would have ended better

"I saw a cat today yknow! it had a black eye and orange patterns. Somehow it looked wise" dazai said relazing on the chair, his hands behind his head, the whole night of yokohama was quiet only the flicker of the dim light placed underneath the balcony ceiling could be heard.

The night was calm too, it had a soft storm-like feel to it. Dazai knew you were listening thats probably why he would talk to you all these months, no one else was there for him anyway. So its better than nothing.

All of a sudden amdist the silence several pokes tapped on his shoulder which made his eyes widen slightly. You held up your sktechbook infront of his face, a bunch of doodles of him and a full sketch of his side profile

"(Name)... This is amazing! Wow you could be a talented artist yknow!!" he said you didnt know whether he was just flattering you or not because of the emptiness in his eyes. Depression changes a person. But the slight flicker of light in his made it visible to your loud mind. Dazai was glad you made some progress.

Okay now hb your interactions with da agency??

I am pretty sure both you and him joined da agency together (gotta make sure his sister ACTUALLY doesn`t follow his steps!😋😋😋😋)

kunikida may act all cold around you and view u as some kid especially when you randomly make the most random ass suicidal jokes in the middle of a meeting but...

Lets say he sort of checks up on both of you every morning! cant let the dogs out now kunikida! you never know what they do....

iykwimyk

now yosano girlypop is the only person who shows genuine concern for you when you get hurt why? because she was bamboozled when she found out you are dazais sibling like

"huh- are you actually capable of being a brother? more so having family"

dazai be at the corner weeping because of the amount of slander

DESERVEDDDD😍😍😍

I can totally see fukuzawa patting both of you and dazais head after you two collaborated on a mission

IDWGDHYWDFYUDFILOVEFATHERRELATIONSHIPS

he prob randomly call you for tea i mean not too randomly but he likes your black cat energy

speaking of which ranpo and you bully da heck out of criminals before they ultimately mistake you for some god!! /nj

kenji and kyouka just chills around you and tries debating what you and dazai have in common.

belonging in the mental asylum. thats whats common between you two/nj again😁😁

With chuuya

NAWWWWH BRO NAWW☠️

Chuuyas gonna end upl like this emoji☠️☠️☠️

Okay maybe i am over exaggerating this but yknow dazai is like really smart

UNFORTUNATELY!!!

So he will definitely know when ever you two act a little🤭😝😘🤗😍🥰👍

Hes going to get tjat expression from chapter 114 and chew chuuyas expensive tuxedo!!

I bet after he finds out hes straight up going to give chuuya a flashback of stormbringer era!! 😍😁

#verynormalbrother

"W-w-w-what da SKIBIDI [name]??? YOU WILL NOT AND NEVER MEET CHUUYA AGAIN" "wow... and i thought you were trying to become a better brother :(" "YOUNG LA- i-" ":("

He was about to say lad

like manipulative ass brother like sister ig! :33333333

He prob had suspicions back in the mafia especially because of how you mostly stuck around chuuya when he wasnt there

YOUR FAULT BRO!!!

And then u rizzed chuuya up with double black eyes (get it?)

"You know [name] it still hurt me, though i promised i would never say it infront of your face but.." Chuuya said seriousness in his tone looking at you eyes "But please stop looking at me with those cat like eyes they deeply remind of someone and I DO NOT like it"

He ended this funny note with a genuine fear and irritation in his eyes. you only nodded and continued to stare at him, your eyes rivaling a black hole not that hole by the way.

A tingling feeling gathered in himself as chuuya looks at your blank stare "Dont look at me like that!" he raised his flustered voice, a small hue of pink appearing on his cheek which only grew as you held on to his sleeve, snuggling against it like a cat.

But before he could be more flushed a really dark aura crept up behind you and then, right then you knew you fucked up bad.

"i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-cant believe this!" your brothers voice perked up behind you genuine horror on his face as if he just saw his bestfriend die infront of him twice.

"Oh my fucki-" chuuya sighed, both of you are caught. "[name] ICANTBELIEVETHISOMGIAMGOINGTOENDMYSELFLIKEMYOTHERVERSIONFROMANOTHERUNIVERSEWHOLOWEREDYOURSTANDERDSICANTBELIEVETHISHIT" dazai rapped at super speed, an anger and shock unwordable enough for you to be confused at whatever hes yapping about. "DAZAI what the fuck??" now chuuya was confused too.

"ANDYOU, HERMANADAPUTA (sisterfucker in english) YOUUGLYSHORTMFWITHNOFLAGSNONOTHING,YOUTRUSTISSUED?IWILLGIVEYOUPRISONFORLIFEISSUES" "WHAT IS YOU BROTHER YAPPING ABOUT?"

And all you could do was watch in horror as the scene unfolds infront of you. But safe to say you got in big trouble when you went back home!

anyways dazais going to go full on 8 cans of gasoline on the portmafia if more is obsessed with you like him

and then you realised..

"fOr tHe fIrSt TiMe iN fOrEVer" he actually did/nj

Okay okay but in all seriousness (litearlly @justcallmesakira catchphrase guys!!) Dazai would genuinely become more protective of you if mori was targeting towards you.

i would run away to antarctica too if mori even tried interacting with me

SHES A RUNNER SHES A TRACKSTAR!!!!!🏃💨

But if you are intelligent then i guess you met fyodor too? And maybe some sort of rivalry goes on between you two like "oh its my brothers enemy, gotta help my bro blow him up!"

I have nothing much to say because dazai would make secret plans (which you alrdy know) to make sure mori doesnt get too close with you

Like oh he was planning to approach you that day? BOOM dazai is already there. Yeah like that

If mori says that however... Dazai will reply with a dark eyed gloom,tilting his head back creepily "You will have to need more then the whole of port mafia to interact with my sister"

Dazai hates mori alot and though he knows that you are old enough to handle situations that doesnt mean he wont care for his only sister. You are the only thing left that he can protect without feeling inhumanity or faraway.

A/N: HATE THISSSS NOOOUUU

Tags: @inojuuy @biscuits-spooky-corner @terururuko @little-miss-chaoss @saelique @silverbladexyz @typcallysid14 @nezuko-kamado-cute-demon

[alastorsfuckassbob]

You're Never Fully Dressed-

Alastorxfem!reader

oh boy everyone's favorite! Please I have never written before, I just figured I'd give it a shot it was 1:35 and I was not feeling sleepy so an hour later here it is, its not edited so SORRY ABOUT THAT- all of my friends are normal and would definitely not proof read this hot garbo!

Basic Plot!! Yikes another song fic i know i KNOWW, the reader knew our good pal Al in her life but oopsies he "left" her (he died duh) and now shes taking a sad hot girl bubble bath to reminisce!!

Lyrics are bolded, past events Italics for the most part.

ALSO Please DNI if you're a minor k thanks bye!! You are responsible for your own internet consumption, so here are the warnings! If you don't want to view that ✨dont✨

Warnings include:

-Swearing

-Violence

-Alcohol Use but not abuse! (its hell duh)

-Abusive Relationships

-Slight Innuendo but not a strong one!

-Angst

The fire danced, flitting left and right. It was different than any other fire set in hell, it wasn't meant to hurt anyone or destroy anything. It was just a small flame, melancholically melting the dripping wax down the white lilac scented pillar. Floral scents were hard to come by unless you made them yourself, it was hell after all, its not like theres a flower garden planted on every corner. The candles single wick didn't produce more than a drop of light. It just flickered every now and then, entertaining its own little lonesome sway. Your demeanor softened as you looked at it from the petal filled bath you currently resided in.

Oddly you felt at peace, understood, almost comforted. You had learned to dance the same way it seemed. You caught yourself when you fell, twisting and turning to please an audience. It was a cruel existence. At least the flame looked content in some way, at least it would never know what it was like to contort under the will of another. Yet it was still a light in darkness, shining for no other reason than to survive...All it could ever do was take, even if it didn't want to, fire needs to burn. To burn it must destroy. You sighed sinking deeper into the bubbly water. You didn't want to think about your past. Not anymore. You didn't have to anymore anyway. Life had not been kind to you and that constant displeasure followed you through your death and into the pits of hell. Funny how suffering could follow biting desperately at your heels and the man who was so "desperately" in love with you in life just couldn't find it within himself to stay...God you sounded bitter. To be fair you were. After all he had ruined your life and he didn't even know it...It wasn't that bad was it? You probably would still be in hell regardless, even without his "involvement" or lack of- you had always been a sinner. It wasn't worth it to be upset, not anymore he's most likely dead, you definitely are, whose to say if he'd even wind up down here. You paused a moment, laughing at the silly conclusion overthinking had led you to.. no that fucker is definitely in hell. Sweet as he was up front, he had a dark side that went much deeper than his soft exterior could cover. You closed your eyes..

1923- Central New Orleans

Suddenly it was 1923. The flower lined streets of late spring in New Orleans. His smile never wavering as he dragged you from store to store. As your dear companion, and biggest supporter, he had asked you to assist him at the radio station. Now that you had finished school you would need a job anyway. You'd always had a beautiful voice and a knack for writing. It just made sense. His hand squeezed yours lightly pulling you from your thoughts. In his hands, he held a burgundy day dress and a matching bow.

"Darling, would you try this on for me? I believe it is high time you were rewarded for all of your hard work. I believe you would simply sparkle in this color"

You smile softly at his gentle tone, taking the delicate dress in your hands. You find yourself caught in his eyes. It feels like you two are the only people on the planet

You feel the familiar sensation of tears on your face, you open your eyes again, you hadn't realized you'd started crying.

you let out the shrill scream you didn't know you were holding in. the fluke of champagne you had so tediously been savoring since you began your bath cracked slightly. You downed the rest of the glass, and grabbed the bottle sitting lazily on the floor. You didn't want to think about him or your life anymore...but it consumed you. You had so many more important things to fret about in your..current..environment. Songs to sing, bitches to kill, people to fuck. A grand glorious array of newer shinier problems, and yet you were stuck sulking about the past. You take a deep breath shaking slightly despite the warm vanilla scented water surrounding you. You remove your hand from the water motioning to the shadow hiding behind a vase (of no more than slightly wilted roses). It slinks forward at your beckoning, climbing to the white marble countertop of your vanity, it clicks the worn down knob of your rickety old radio. light jazzy music trickles out and fills the air with lovesick nostalgia you weren't entirely prepared to let in. No matter what he had done...you would always fall back to him. Even if he was nothing more than ill-fated failed fourteen year "endeavor". fourteen years is quite a long time, even if the majority of it was spent more or less platonically. You really did love him. Love doesn't always follow those that leave, you are testimony and truth to that. You let your mind wander guided by the static filled notes of the radio.

Hey, hobo man

Hey, Dapper Dan

You've both got your style

But brother

You're never fully dressed

Without a smile!

Even through the shudder of the static, it really did sound like him. Despite being the "host" of the station. He had his fair share of performances. For such a Hell bound soul he had the voice of an angel.

You close your eyes once again and allow the melody to take you back to an easier time.

1926- New Orleans, Your apartment

You sing along with whatever tune the radio gives you. You're at peace, simply existing for no other reason than to be with your friend.

"Dance with me my little canary, your voice lights a fire within me"

He pulls you in by the waist. His hands splayed across your hips holding them with a gentleness you'd never expected him to hold for you. He leans his head down against the yours and places a chaste kiss on your forehead

"Alastor" you giggle, the sensation tickling you slightly. "You are quite ridiculous"

"Ridiculous?" he feigns hurt. "My darling I am so far from ridiculous the word does not find sense within my ears" he spins you around and into his chest, you roll your eyes ignoring his antics

"Dearest are you aware you are speaking with the future of radio?"

"The future of radio? Please Love, don't jest. The 20s surely have more in store than you" You laugh into his chest and he shockingly laughs with you.

Neither of you know it but you are both so drunk on the sound. To you, his laugh sounds like the swift church bells that used to ring throughout your home town whenever someone got married. It feels familiar and yet like a distant memory. It makes you want to hear it over and over again until your ears stop working, and even then you'd settle in just fine feeling the vibrations of his chest. He sounds like home. To him, your laugh sounds like the rushing creek and smooth algae covered stones resting deep beneath the trees draped in Spanish moss of his mothers cabin in the woods. Just hearing your laugh he can feel the spotted sunlight speckling his freckled face underneath the big willow tree. You sound like home. Everything about you- it felt like home to him. His hands were crafted to hold soft curves of your body. His ears were made to hear your voice and your voice alone. You were purpose, his home. You don't know it, but it is that realization that sparked the idea of marriage into his heart.

That fire was put out not long after.

You at least had those nine years as his friend, three years as his "copain" if you will- and two years as his fiancée...and so many years alone. You only spent 14 years in the company of this man. You had lived before knowing him a good 17 years, and a good long bit after.

Why were you so stuck?

You hum along subconsciously, the objects in your bathroom begin to glow a familiar pink, levitating slightly in the air as you continue to hum. Your ability isn't weak by any means, but for some reason you were. You were nothing in comparison to hells overlords, especially the newest trio of Vs. Your power is so deeply connected to your voice, how can you hold power when it doesn't belong to you anymore? You drift back to the memory of your arrival. Scared, alone, dressed a great deal less than modestly, and equipped with nothing more than a pair of horns, some wings you couldn't quite use yet, and a thin devil like tail. It was only your third hour in hell. You didn't understand the rules. You were playing a twisted game in which you didn't realize you were just another piece of.

Shock can make a person anxious and fear will make them stupid. He was tall and smelled distinctly of cigars, soured whiskey, and something pungently sweet you couldn't name. It burned your nose as you inhaled it. You would become well aquatinted with the smell of lust in the years to come, you just didn't know it yet. It seemed innocent at first, just a simple contract, no different than a job. All you had to do was sing and dance at a club, in exchange for safety. But it was different and it wasn't innocent. He was cruel and yet no different than so many of the men you had dealt with in life. He agreed to your terms of anonymity and thats about it. You had your private life and his life. Valentino never played fair. You didn't know that yet, and now you're hells favorite sinner, a least no one knew it was you. If he had asked you another day later you would have realized you could have probably fended for yourself, with some difficulty anyway. At least you wouldn't have to be in this mess. You wouldn't be fucking six people before noon. You wouldn't be constantly covered in bruises and scars...Maybe you could have found him, Alastor that is. Maybe you could have at least been friends again. Its silly to hope for anything more since your romantic relationship ended...✨the way it did✨

Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly

They stand out a mile

But brother

You're never fully dressed

Without a smile!

1931- New Orleans, The river

The two of you sit beside each other in a small wooden row boat. Your hair is tied back with your signature crimson ribbon. He fiddles with the pocket of his jacket. The Louisiana soundscape of crickets, frogs and running water accompanies your conversation. Fireflies light up the air, almost bringing the stars down to your fingertips. With a buzz and a gentle green glow, the small creature lands on your hand. Your smile leaks wonderment and Alastor can hardly contain the love he feels for you.

As a Radio Host, he is quite agile in the way of words, yet something about you has him constantly at a loss. He takes a deep breath, unsure of what to say his voice wavers as he begins to speak.

"y/n, I want to thank you for the effect you've had in my lif-"

"My love look at the stars!" You didn't mean to cut him off, Your arms stretched upwards your face turning to meet his. The stars were so much brighter then they were in the city, it was only natural for you to be excited

"Yes doll, I see them, they're the same as they were last night and many many nights before hand"

You let out an impatient huff

"that doesn't make them any less beautiful." a mischievous glint hides in your eyes "now wouldn't it be so dreadfully terrible if I got bored looking at you just because I've already seen you before?" You fake a yawn and look at him eyes seething with boredom

"It would be so dreadful considering I was about to propose to you"

There is no other word to describe what you felt other than shocked. You had been an item for quite some time, but you never figured he would stick around (and "seal the deal" if you will).

Tears begin to run down your face rambling small words of agreement and love. You had never expected him to..love you that way. He was who he was, a dreadfully popular radio host, and you weren't really anything more than an assistant. People really only listened for him..yet in this moment, he was speaking only for you.

"I love you so dearly my y/n. If life without you exists I do not want to exist through it"

Who cares what they're wearing

On Main Street

Or Saville Row

1934: New Orleans, Alastor's house

The house was empty. He was gone. Fully and truly gone. It had been a year since you'd seen or heard from him and six months since the birth of your son. It didn't feel like your house, it didn't feel like your life anymore. It was all still his. His things still bled into your side of the closet, his last purchase, a book, dust encrusted and unread. The blankets and pillows set on the couch exactly as you both had left them after falling asleep to the rain the night before he left wordlessly. You found yourself sporting one of his shirts more often than your own...until eventually they didn't smell like him anymore. The whole house used to reek of his signature vanilla smell. Theres nothing left here but dust and the crooked board of the desk he insisted he could build himself "just fine".

It's what you wear from ear to ear

And not from head to toe

That matters

1936- New Orleans; ✨that shitty bar you performed at✨

"Get the fuck up you bitch"

You felt his hand tangle in your hair and pull you to your knees. All you could do was groan in pain.

"I'm so sorry it won't happen again I promise"

You mutter almost to yourself. He rolls his eyes shoving you into the counter smashing a glass in the process. Your vision blurs for a second seeing the glass shards decorating your h/c locks in a halo. You feel the blood trickle down your forehead.

"Do you think anyone else would hire you? A whore with nothing to her name and a useless ugly bastard child from god knows who?" You feel angered at his words. Insulting you is one thing, but your child?

But then it sinks in, he's right. The 30s are a sick decade, nothing progressive about them. No one else would hire you. You are lucky to work here..despite it all. You tell yourself anything is better than living on the streets. The mantra doesn't dull the pain but it makes it easier to put up with. You don't have a choice. You have a child to take care of.

"Get rid of him"

you stay silent unsure if you heard him correctly.

"Get rid of the boy. I don't care if you leave him in a box on the street or kill him yourself"

He reaches for a small silver knife under the bar's counter. He places it against your throat.

" y/n..You won't like it if I do it dearest, besides you are saving him the shame of having a mother like you. At least if he's adopted elsewhere he has a chance at a half decent life" he took a deep swig from his un-shattered glass of whiskey, looking at you with such deep distain.

You had never hated anyone the way you hated that man..But he was right. You would never be able to give your baby the best life. It would never get better because you couldn't make it better. So you found a young couple not to far from New Orleans, they took him in, and he got to be happy. he ended up living a successful life. He still is. If nothing else theres that. You know your own misery doesn't automatically allow others to be happier, but at times its what keeps you going.

Your mind is flooded with more and more thoughts. Thousands of little memories pilling themselves on top of you. Who would've thought, even deceased, even owned by Valentino, even trapped in an ever so violent place, the real plight of hell would be your thoughts. You light a cigarette and get out of the tub. You throw on a dark red robe and sit on the vanity's counter to brush your damp hair. The song continues into a jazzy interlude before it reprises again

Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly

They stand out a mile

But, brother

You're never fully dressed

You're never dressed

Without a smile

You stretch out your wings in the mirror, looking at your demonic self. No matter how many times you catch yourself in the mirror, even after ten years of this hellish existence. It still strikes you as odd. You look more or less the same. The same hair color and skin tone, although slightly more grey. The tail was just fucking weird no matter how long you had it. The song erupts into the finale distracting you from your thoughts. You begin to sing along with it, smiling softly. It really does sound like him. The same pink glow takes over the room as well as your body, Your eyes begin to glow that same soft pink, your hair floating above your shoulders.

Who cares what they're wearing

On Main Street

Or Saville Row

It's what you wear from ear to ear

And not from head to toe

You're never fully dressed without a smile

The last line comes out much quieter than the rest. A sense of sadness overtakes you once again as you realize how pathetic this whole night turned out. You'd spent the whole night "Simping", as Velvette would say, over a relationship that ended decades ago. Yikes. The static from the radio clicks up a few notches, You cover your ears at the sudden noise. You quickly reach for the dial in order to turn off the device..And then you hear it. You hear him.

"Dearest.." Its almost unintelligible through the static

You think you've finally fucking lost it. Ten years in Hell and you've officially gone "delulu"...another Velvette saying but it feels fitting.

“y/n.”

He called softly, the static in his voice heavy and nearly unreadable.

You almost didn't believe it.

"Y/n" He repeats the static fizzling out leaving his voice raw and almost natural. Fuck this was real. You didn’t respond. You didn’t know how to. You weren't sure if he could even hear you..how he would respond? Would it be worse if he did? It had been an entire decade since you fell, All of this time- he never bothered to contact you. Why now? Why so much later?... Had he forgotten about you? Did he just..die? You cant discern which is worse...that he had left you and your son and lived a long guilt free life...or that he made no attempt to even speak to you in the decade you had inhabited the same existence.

Ok that was all like exposition and shit..considering part two but I AM VERY TIRED RN

[midnight--sadness]

I JUST READ ALL OF YOUR FOUND FAMILY AU HC AND I LOVE IT and I want to add more stuff about uncle junho

Sometimes when inho and gihun are on a date or having a "just the two of them" moments they would ask junho to babysit, even though some of them is already grown up(bc trust me the minute they're out of inhun sight it's a mess). And the kids were like "oh come on we dont need some to babysit us" and gihun was like "nope not again the last time we left you guys alone, you almost burn the house down". But really we all know that junho is absolutely trying his best to be everyone's favorite uncle and mostly just ended up letting them do whatever they want, even letting the younger ones to eat candy or ice cream after dinner

Idk why but I feel like the older kids would try to help junho find a partner, probably even setting him up on several blind date and made him a dating app acc. They even tried to match him with the salesman(inho's personal assistant,not sure what inho's job in this au but i think it would be nice) which went better than his any other dates they set him up with so after that everytime they see them talking or sitting next to each other they would ship them for fun and junho actually went on a second date but they don't need to know that and probably some time after they finally starts dating and when junho tells them they were ecstatic bc their "incredible" plan as they called it was working(junho x salesman shipper here🙋)

Bc his plan of being everyones favorite uncle "failed", he tried even harder to become the twins favorite when they're born and it's seems to be working and some time when they're older and can talk, they gave him a nickname which is "uncle ju-jun" and he was so happy that he felt like he just won a world championship

Sometimes when the older kids are going out to have a drink(when they're legal ofc) and accidentally gets too drunk, they would call him to pick them up and told him to swear on not telling their parents(inhun were out on vacation or something)

His first reaction when he was told that inhun are having another child was "AGAIN?!?" Bc he knows that means he have more presents to bought on Christmas, in which the next Christmas after the announcement he gave inhun a pack of condoms as their gift and made the kids burst out laughing including gihun meanwhile inho is giving him a death stare(junho's face: 😌😁)

Let me know what you think!!

(I purposely not making this anonymous bc you're cool and i hope we could be friends if you want!!)

YES!!! LET'S BE FRIENDS PLEASE 🥰🥹🥰😩💖💖💖

i really love the found family au too, it's so cute but there is a possiblity for angst (my beloved 🫶)

you guys have such good headcanons!!! i'm jealous i can't come up with stuff like this 😩

the salesman being inho's personal assistant is so funny jienoaujnjrif i can imagine him using his position to just barge into the house and sit down for breakfast with the rest of the family; inho doesn't know why he isn't scared of getting fired but that man doesn't even blink when inho threatens him with unemployment, especially after he flirts with gihun or starts dating junho

in this particular au, i had initially put inho down as a senior detective because i wanted to include silly shenanigans with junho at work. and maybe they have money because his old uncle (oh ilnam) on his mother's side left inho an absurd ammount of money (4.56 billion wons to be exact 😉).

maybe if inho is like the chief or whatever he can have the salesman as his personal assistant still! that way both of our ideas work 💖

oh, the kids would def try to play matchmaker with junho! they have a list of potential future uncles/aunts ranked by how likely they are to survive the hwang inho shovel talk/interrogation.

junho pretends to be upset that his brother is still breeding his wife but he loves his nieces and nephews and when the twins are born he fights with the kids to be able to hold them more.

uncle junjun is so cute 😭💖

the kids call junho when they're too drunk to get home but also to bust them out of the jail because he's a detective and of course he has connections. except one time, when he left them in there overnight so they could learn their lessons (maybe thanos, since he has a period where he acts out).

[determinedowl23]

ohhhhhmy god oh my god guyssjsjaidbwisjsis IT HAPPENED I SAW IT AND IT WAS AMAZING

Notes:

Act I

I NEED TO MARRY ALFIE BOE SOOOOO BAD BRUH YOU DONT EVEN GET IT

Alfie’s so short I forgot about that lmao he’s so baby

I do really really really love Michael but I can already tell that Javert is not exactly his thing. He’s too whimsical- too Marius. Super glad he gets to do something with Alfie tho <333

Jeremy (I think) rocked the bishop omgggggg

I WAS NOT EXPECTING KATIE HALL TO BE HERE CHAT- soprano Fantine is such a foreign concept to me but she was gorgeous 

THANK YOU BOEBALL VALVERT FOR BEING THERE FOR ME I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND AND HIS BOYFRIEND

THENARDIERS ARE SO FUNNY I’ve never seen funnier thenardiers. He called Cosette Baguette when Valjean took her away

Also at the beginning of the bargain when Alfie started singing Madame T went “oh he’s got a lovely voice tho”

COSETTE NEW PINK DRESS IS SO PRETTY!!!!! It matches Marius’ bow :))))

Ok both Eponine and Cosette were mixed bags for me- I liked them most of the time, but there were a couple times their voices felt a bit… nasally? They were both very pretty tho :)

James D Gish is beautiful. My dad says he’s the second coming of Ramin Karimloo and im inclined to agree

Gavroche is king shit as per usual

They had stars in stars omggg. ALSOOO at the end the lights make it look like he has wings. Probably unintentional but he’s soooooo fallen angelcore 

As much as Michael doesn’t fit Javert, his Stars really is amazing

WE GOT ENJOLTAIRE CRUMBS 👏👏👏 The entire pause between ABC Cafe and Red & Black they were just looking at each other forever

As much as I do love enjoltaire, im an even bigger fan of Gavroche and Grantaire’s dynamic. It was the main thing I noticed about R’s character (even with Kyle Adams playing him) and I’m so happy that it’s in other productions

No Javert barricade outfit in one day more :(

Three flags??? In this economy????

Act II

Okay I did genuinely forget about the barricade outfit but it did come back! It’s different from the Staged Concert, more greenish-black and I think he has his hair down- there’s at least some strands loose on the front

OKAYYYY IM REALLY SURE TGAT BEFORE R STARTED HIS SOLO IN DRINK WITH ME HE WENT AND HELD ENJ’S HAND FOR A BIT- and after he sang and Enj left Gavroche ran over and gave him a hug it was so sweet

Alfie Boe Bring Him Home is still my favoritest thing in the entire world. I owe him my life im so serious he was my top artist for a reason

Enjolras did the Aaron Tveit “until the earth is free” opt up it was amazing

They cut Gavroche’s individual death scene which was either for better or for worse because that’s the one that always gets me crying, so I just teared up at the end

When Javert let valjean and Marius go from the sewers he turned around as if he was gonna follow them, paused, screamed, and put his head and his hand

Dude michael ball does the best suicide scene he’s so unhinged and skdjaidhaisjsj

EMPTY CHAIRS BRO. At “phantom faces” the Amis all stood up in their places in their seats, with Enj, R, and Gavroche on the center balcony right by the conductor. Also at this point he begins to scream with anger at his survival. I’ve never thought about angry Empty Chairs, but it works so well and I need to see it more

Valjean in AHFoL Reprise made me so sad bro. Insert my post about him and Donna Sheridan but add that they’re so attached to their daughter (Amanda Seyfried) and kinda don’t want to let her go to get married

The audience clapped along to Beggars at the Feast. Don’t know if we were allowed to, but we did anyways

When Marius tells Cosette her father is a saint Valjean just shakes his head no oh my god 😭😭

HE DID THE NICK CARTELL NOSE BOOP WITH COSETTE

THE BISHOP COMES UP BEHIND VALJEAN WHEN HE DIES AND VALJEAN GIVES HIM THE BIGGEST HUG EVER OMFGGGGGG

During bows when Michael came up to bow with Alfie they had to switch sides so that Michael could be on the left and Alfie could be on the right. Order has been restored to the world

In summary: Amazing show god I love Les Mis!!!!! Alfie Boe is the only one who can save me <3333

[zhvakinnn]

If only you know what i know

Sae itoshi x GN reader

Warnings: no fluff, angst

🍓as always i don't know much English so if something is wrong correct me 🍓

"let's stop this mess"

"what?." You're confused at sae's words

"i wanna end this relationship"

You're eyes are widen and you raise your head from his shoulder to look at him

"what do you mean, did i do something wrong, i didn't forget any important things?"

Sae stop you from talking and just walked to the bedroom

"sae please what's wrong? Please i don't wanna end this relationship you promise me that we'll always be together I love you-"

You're words was cut by sae

"sometimes love cant be promise, you think ive loved you?"

You became silent frozen while his there taking all his clothes his really leaving you

You didn't think of anything and just hug him

"please sae please.. dont leave.. i love you"

He shrugged you off him and drag his bag

You kissed him and he gave in but pushed you away

"please sae-"

"i cheated on you.."

"what"

Theres so many happening here you wanna ask everything

"you don't deserve me, i fucked another woman than you i slept with her and kisses he-"

Sae's words didn't continue when a hand slap on his face

"how could you do this to me?. Sae i loved you, we've been together for 5 years..5 fucking years and this is what i get for loving you.!?...you know what its better if you leave now"

Sae nodded and said goodbye but you didn't make any eye contact with him you're just waiting for him to get the hell out of your apartment

"you have cancer, and I'm afraid that.. that you're son wont survive in this case, there are warnings that you didn't notice in him, its either he kept on nose bleeding"

Sae washes his nose it kept on bleeding but he shrugged it and thought it was just because of heat

"or losing weight"

When he step on the scale the nurse said he lost 3kg before he lost 2kg he kept losing weight every check up

---------------------------------------------------

He curse himself, he was panicking everything went on his mind but the one that was pinned is you, how are you gonna react to this

His been covering his hair with wigs because he didn't want you to see it

He quits soccer yet you didn't know he excused that its their break so he can spend more time with you before he say his final goodbyes

His good at hiding his weak legs

If he tells you this you will never move on, you will not stop until his better, he knows your stubborn that's why its better to make you cry now when his still alive than his dead body

You didn't know that was the last kissed

Only 7 days now..

He looked up and tears suddenly fell from his eyes

If only you know what i know

He smiled and left a note saying

I love you too..

Masterlist | about me | rules

[mako-neexu]

i forgot to address it but i love seeing this panel of da vinci chan and romani. (delusions below)

in a perspective like this, even if its just a dream, its terrifying. underneath what is usually a sweet portrayal of them, you can see here that they did something once- maybe more than twice to ritsuka's body without her consent. in salem manga, they altered gudako's body to the point where she feels like it isnt her body anymore just so the grand order can keep going.

considering that fujimaru ritsuka, simply a teenager who survived out of 47 master candidates like them, not to mention that they knew nothing about magic in the first place, was forced to go on a quest for survival. considering how she is young, of course she is prone to mistakes. and especially if it is the most endangering ones of all like with tiamat at the 7th singularity or like the lion king at the camelot singularity.

in order to reach "solomon" and stop him, it makes sense that, as the last Master left, da vinci and romani would do anything- everything to keep fujimaru ritsuka from dying so that they would have the chance to fight "solomon". of course that includes surgical removal of her tissues and replacing them with alternative tissues to reinforce her body and protect her magical circuits that allow for master aptitude.

of course its evident that ritsuka loves da vinci and romani, in a scene like this, i think its terrifying to see which i really like a lot since i dont often see romani and da vinci framed like this. most of the time, they are drawn in a bittersweet way after all. again, it could just be the dream framing it like this to make it seem they are inhuman here. but theres still a kernel of truth to this scene. such as replacing maybe 56% of ritsuka with genetically modified tissues that are not her own against her consent and will. (she's only half lucid at the panels shown so it is most likely that romani and da vinci operated on her without asking her first)

and the cold tone of romani and da vinci chan in the chapter could just be them sad about how ritsuka is injured... even if in the current chapter they are addressing mostly how they are disappointed by the fact that they've failed one mission after another all because of ritsuka's carelessness, and that the most they addressed about her is making sure her master aptitude and magical circuits are intact for repair to continue the grand order.

[bigboipyromaniac]

can you make a james sunderland x fem!reader? (Or gender neutral Idm) Maybe searching for her (dead) sister in her childhood town, Silent Hill, and stumbling upon James. Reader teams up with james (not rlly being scared of him since he looked pathetic) after realizing they have a similar goal, not leaving him a choice.

Anyway maybe they get separated after a few hours of their journey, and after finding each other they realize just how much they need the other. Maybe the town plays a part (since its kinda sentient) in pushing them together? Their similar goals, lonely life without their loved one, how they went to silent hill, etc, at the same time definitely not being a mere coincidence.

(Lil info ab her sister: they were driving to silent hill 3 years ago to visit the cemetery for their parents, but reader and sis got into a fight about turning back and reader basically swerved the steering wheel to the side and caused them to crush. Reader, not knowing what to do since her older sis made all her decisions for her, just ran away and left her dead sis in the car. This wrecked her with guilt, causinf the town to punish her just like james. They could bond through their shared guilt and experiences and whatnot.)

Ive had this idea for a while so i’d love to see it written! Though if you dont wanna, its alright ^^

brother you are giving me so much juice for this story

THX BESTIEE

Btw maria won't show up cause idk where to place her here

Back where it all started

This letter... It can't be right. She was taken 3 years ago.

But, this was the same town we crashed in. Did she manage to survive? I kept looking at the letter, rereading the whole this, looking for imperfects in the writing.

'This has to be a prank, right? A sick prank..' i thought to myself. But everything about the letter, it seems too perfect for another person to write.

This has to be her.

Even if it wasn't, it was too late to go back now. I stood next to the entrance of the hospital, the memories of this place is all crashing on top of me. I've lost my family here.

It took a couple of minutes for me to built up the courage to walk back in. The doors creaked as I walked it.

It was quiet, and abandoned. The doctors and nurses who took care of your family were no longer here. Almost like time just stopped

Papers were all over the floor and desk, the room is started to fill itself with mold. I walked towards the elevator seeing if the power still worked.

Nothing...

Luckily the stairs weren't broken. As I walked up the stairs, I could see a drawing.

A bunny and a wolf? It looks like a kid drew it. Why would a kid be here? Monster were lurking, the poor kid could get hurt.

Entering the 2nd floor I could here someone closing a door. "Whos there?!" I yelled out while holding my pipe I found outside. The man seem startled, and placed his hands up in defense.

There light was shining in my eyes but I could see it was someone human! "Oh I'm sorry! Thought you were a monster." I said while lowering my pipe down.

The man looked at you, up and down, almost surprised to see another human being. "Hey it's okay!" He paused for a second. "My name is James."

"Y/N" You responded back.

"Y/N, I'm looking for someone, have you seen her?" He pulled out a picture of a woman, She was a beautiful lady with blonde hair.

I shook my head. "No sorry I just got here"

He looked a bit upset... "if you dont mind me asking, who is she?" you said trying not to make James feel too upset." she was... My late wife." James avoid looking at your eyes, almost like he was ashamed of himself.

"Your... Late wife?" you asked confused " that would man she's dead right?" you questioned this strange man, I mean who would come here looking for a dead person?

…

" Don't worry! I'm not going crazy! " James spoke up almost defensively. "Look I found this letter." He handed me a letter, it was different from my sisters letter, from the handwriting, to what is said on the letter itself.

I don't think one man could have done this...

I kept staring at the note, trying to find a flaw or a similarity between the note. James must have noticed the other letter and me comparing them. He placed his arm around my shoulder, almost trying to comfort, "Some else also sent you a letter?" My daze was broken from his voice. "Yea... my sister sent it to me, but 3 year ago, she was..."

There was a long pause, I couldn't finish my sentence, It still hurts to think about it. James rubbed my back, trying his best to comfort me, I could feel the awkwardness from him.

but it still felt nice that he cared about me, someone who he just met. "Hey.." he turned me to face him with both his hands on my shoulder. "How about you stay with me until you find your sister, do you know any place where she might be?"

I thought about it for a second...

"There was this hotel! its across the lake, I remember my sister and I playing with bugs in the garden area." James looked perplexed for a second "The Lakeview hotel?" I nodded " That was my wife and I special place.."

He looked at his map, maybe to find a way to head to the hotel. "Come on, lets head to Rosewater park, maybe we can find a boat there." before I could question him, he grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the hospital.

(surely nothing would bad happens when he get to the hotel(clueless)

[everybodyloveshippos]

btw i dont just love dahlia for the 'womens wrongs!!' i love violent women !!!' thing. (likes, yes but-) i do love dahlias character bcus she IS complicated and working through shit but shes also funny and competitive and cares enough to ask if guen is okay, she has tenderness she rarely shows and a soft side that was taken from her. she spent years around cutthroat nobility in thay, cultivating her ability to survive, she apparently wanted something to believe in enough to believe in szass tam for a time. thats so interesting. she is insecure, she lashes out at drizzt when she fears being left behind for the ghost he is chasing. she and drizzt are tragically doomed to be terrible for eachother and he cant love her even though he thinks he could. he wants to fix her. he wont break up with her. she wants to die by his hand or be loved by him. she says to her sons face that he was her only weapon against her rapist and that he doesnt have to forgive her. she tries to be in his life after all that. she wants artemis to live. she loves him but she cant meet him where he is now. theyre the same. and she still leaves because she isnt in a place to be selfless like the main heroes of the story right now, especially after all the trauma she went though in menzo. i love Dahlia Syn'dalay sm

[noctilu-uca]

Rei Amayado and Love.

fgghhgggghhh....

Ok so ik there are a lot of unknowns about rei and honestly im no where near qualified enough to talk about ANY of the hypmic characters in the detail im about to go. But i like to think i know a decent amount of info and lore to make a good assumption. I could be totally wrong about some things soo pllleeeaassseeee dont take me entirely seriously

But the conversation between rei and nayuta confirmed a lot of things for me. A lot of things i was speculating that i havent really seen anyone else talk about

In the drama track, rei comes to the realization that he lets himself shoulder everything despite having the support that he could turn to rely on. Even when nayuta was still awake and with him, he had the bad habit of pushing everything onto himself.

The line that really stood out to me was nayuta asking if he was going to play the villain, to which he responds with a curt "yes" and this. Right there. Is exactly what ive been thinking this entire time.

Its really nothing new that ohhh rei is the bad guy hes morally grey hes hurt people You Shouldnt Really Trust Him. And rosho denounces all of that with pushing sasara to think "who is he really?" now i know that whole portion was supposed to lead sasara into his own growth but seriously. Who is rei? They knew he was a conman, they knew he was shady, unserious, and pushed things off. But rosho says that it was just a persona he built up, and hes correct.

We all knew rei was a deeper character than they let on, it was obvious to us, but not to them. Though its still kinda funny sasaro just said "yeah we guessed" when he said he was bb's father LMAOAOAOAOA not slick at all... but anyways where am i going with this ?

Rei has quite obviously put up a persona to the people around him. He doesnt want to be suspected, he doesnt want people knowing too much about him. So he pretends. That whole comical uncle spiel was just a means of hiding from everyone, and most importantly, himself. I dont think he really wants to face his reality. Of course he takes responsibility and is *painfully* aware of it, but he doesnt seem like he wants to accept it. Now im mostly talking about nayuta here, in the dt he said he would do basically whatever it took to keep nayuta by his side when she mentioned her not being there anymore. And what is he doing now? Keeping her comatose body on publicly unknown island to protect her, and watch over her state.

What about his kids? As far as im aware theres no reason we were given for him leaving bb. Hes accepted the fact hes nolonger an important part of their lives, sure hes important to a degree, but not in a parental way. Im sure its fair to assume he left bb around the time nayuta was sent comatose. So what i think: he left for their own safety.

He left them to make sure they wouldnt get wrapped up in the politics he did. Their mother got hurt, whose to say chuuohku wouldnt target his children next? They knew what was important to him, so he forced himself to think of them as unimportant. He left them so they wouldnt meet the same fate, nayuta is gone, he cant have her children following.

But that was when they were young. Now that they are more grown, things have changed. They are drb participants, and isnt the whole point of the drbs to train potential true hypnosis mic users? Those mics? The mics that kill users? Why would he allow that? I personally think that its just a matter of "they are grown, they can make their own decisions." mixed with "they could possibly survive it and help me create nayutas ideal world."

Even before the 2nd drb, dont you think it was odd how he randomly came to jirosabu one day and revealed that he was their father? What were the motives? Ive always interpreted it as him helping them in his own odd way. He knew their bonds were strong, so maybe if he gives them a challenge, he could strengthen those bonds while simultaneously pushing himself away. Which woah !! Exactly what he did. Jiro got some really good character developmemt out of that one, and bb started resenting him even more. Keeping them together is his goal, afterall its all they have.

So he got what he wanted. He pushed those that he loved and cherished away to protect them from his issues. So... Whats up with sasara and rosho? Notoriously, he told them almost nothing about himself. But with this new dt he revealed EVERYTHING. A new level of intimacy for our current time rei. He was vulnerable with them, when he was so used to makimg other vulnerable.

I think his relationship with sasaro is very healing for him. For all of them, actually, both he and sasara have a tendency to push others away for either their protection, or his own protection. And rosho is a catalyst of "thats so stupid wtf" and is essentially helping them find themselves after he found his own self.

Of course human growth is always happening, rosho is no where near done growing. As we see in the dt he is growing right in front of us, gaining more confidence in himself. And sasara and rei are still so far from really allowing themselves to grow. In a way, they are ashamed for their lack of growth. Sasara getting antsy over the fact rosho pointed out his habit of never getting involved. And rei reflecting back on nayuta when he just got done actively pushing sasaro away. Nayuta was the only person who *actually* forced him to think of different perspectives and not rot in his own.

While nayuta is gone, sasara and rosho are good stand ins. Will he love them like he loved her ?? NO !!! That man is a wife lover through and through. But theres one thing about hypmic that i absolutely adore, and its their utilization of platonic love. Rei is slowly learning to cherish sasara and rosho just as they are him. Its obvious sasaro already cherish and love each other on some level, with sasara immediately thinking of roshos dreams when met with his own to start comedy with him again. He didnt want to enroach on roshos new found identity. And rosho, pushing sasara to find his own new identity. And so many more examples.

But with rei, he stopped himself from cherishing and loving, keeping himself in the past where the only person he has ever, truly, loved with his whole heart resided. So when met with two people who had a bond like he once did, he stayed stagnant and kept himself where he was. That was, until they forced him not to.

So who is rei? Rei amayado, Rei yamada. I think he is a man that loves, truly loves.

Everything that he does was done from a place of care. Was he perfect? No. Not at all. Ramuda exists now, but to him that was a side point in getting nayuta back, and creating their shared world. He did it for nayuta, everything for nayuta. Because he loved her. And absolutely still does. He did it for his children, because in some way he still cares. Even if he acts like he doesnt. And now he is continuing on for his strengthening bonds with sasara and rosho, because they are giving him a chance to recount himself, and find out who he wants to be in his future. He isnt done living despite his old age, he has so much more to do and figure out, things he thought he could only do with nayuta by his side. Of course he wants her back, desperately, he truly thought she would never leave him. But now she has, and even though she isnt with him, he has the opportunity to restart with sasara and rosho. And hopefully be a changed man when nayuta comes back.

Rei, no matter what name he takes, is a man who loves, and will continue loving.

[quillkiller]

do u think if regulus somehow survived the cave and, once free, barty learned of his betrayal to voldemort would barty stick with regulus despite feeling himself betrayed or would they end up fighting eachother every chance they get. a bit like sirius and reg who end up on different sides of the war and seek eachother out in every duel just to see eachother. Like they still can’t stay away from eachother but now they hate eachother so everything is more complicated. tbh i think that’d be pretty one sided because regulus does not see how betraying voldemort could hurt barty at all, i think he’d be kind of compassionate.. would even pity him for what he went through

me & and kara had a meeting over this ask and here’s out conclusion…

we don’t really know what happens with bartylus if reg somehow survived the cave… we don’t necessarily think he’s with voldy out of some kind of loyalty, but for a lot of other complex reasons mostly to do with barty sr and his upbringing. barty is revenge personified. to me however there could ever be hatred or spite between bartylus no matter the betrayal. they always always always regress to their adolescent teenage selves when they’re together, it can’t be helped.

we also don’t see regulus on the field ?? i have a hard time picturing regulus like out on all the raids…. i think his role as a death eater is something completely different. and, if they were in the field, i think regulus and sirius would always avoid each other, knowing that neglect and silence cuts deeper. and because they don’t actually want to hurt each other. if anyone wants to hurt anyone its reg wanting to hurt sirius, and sirius defending himself. i don’t see them seeking each other out though. sirius would seek bella out on the battlefield, but never regulus. sirius can and does stay away from regulus and he proved that when he left home. even if it hurts ! the sacrifices we make to save our own lives and what not :/ i dont see either of them trying to reach out in any sort of way, both too proud and stubborn, and knowing that silence will hurt more

we also don’t think that regulus’ betrayal with the locket is an indicator that he’s now a good person / or that he would join the order. similar in how i dont think narcissas act of betrayal isn’t an indicator that she’s good either. it was personal for both of them. a way to (hopefully) save their loved ones (draco & sirius) and a defiance against voldemort. fighting against voldemort doesn’t equal being on the good side. and if that’s the case i can see barty choosing regulus over voldy. he’ll find other ways to get his revenge / the reason (to me) that he was so devoted to voldemort in the end is because all his friends died and he had nothing left BUT revenge. now he has regulus, and where regulus goes barty follows.

not to go on and on about dil’s masterpiece bartylus microfic but it really changed my life forever when barty runs away w reg and reg says ’you’re hardly the first one to ask’ and barty says ’i didn’t ask’ <- HE DIDNT ASK. i dont think he’d question regs betrayal, wouldn’t take it personal, wouldn’t pity him for it. reg survives and decides to leave / maybe try to find the other horcruxes and barty is like ’cool, guess that’s what we’re doing then’ and invites himself. and regulus would never, could never, tell him no. they’re childhood best friends and their carnal weird fucking need for each other will always outweigh anything else between them. they’re not strategic or calculating in their relationship, aren’t capable of it <- and they’re both strategic and calculating people, barty especially. it’s like that post ’when you’ve known someone for too long you’re doomed to always see them as a person.”

so if regulus survives and decides to continue to fight against voldemort, i think the natural transgression for barty is to leave with him <- lap dog tendencies. i don’t think either of them do it out of the goodness of their hearts or join the order.

[j4ystar]

the exit — park sunghoon

➞ sunghoon x gn!reader

➞ figureskater!au idol!au

➞ synopsis : sunghoon, your ex boyfriend, claims that he is over you yet he finds himself keeping up with your skating career three years after you break up. he figures that watching your competition will help him find closure.

➞ angst??????????

➞ word count : 3.7k

➞ tw : nothing i dont think, lmk if im missing anything

ᓚᘏᗢ aj — life makes my head hurt

there are several videos of sunghoon skating online for most of enhypen’s fans to watch. including the videos posted of sunghoon and his former pair, y/f/n, aka you. despite sunghoon moving on from skating and becoming an idol, you remained on the ice. moving on and leaving korea to train in canada. moving on and becoming a famous competitive skater to represent south korea in just a few years, even making it to the olympics to compete at such a young age. moving on with a different partner. his fans sometimes refuse to believe that he competed in a pair with someone at your level, often engenes wondered if he remained a skater, would he be competing in the olympics with you. 

sunghoon was admittedly watching your competition videos in his room, at night, with a blanket draped over him and the screen brightly illuminating his face. fans commented on his lives often, bringing it up on weverse. asking if he still keeps in touch with you, even asking for collabs like that of his collab with cha junhwan, another one of his former skating friends. 

in reality, it had hurt sunghoon to be reminded of you everywhere he went even two years after he stopped. he loved skating, even if by the end he wasn’t happy on the ice anymore. if there was one thing about being on the ice that made him happy, it was going through everything with you. the one truth suspended from enhypens fans was the fact you and sunghoon used to date. his last competition before he left for iland concluded with an outstanding gold medal for the best skating pair award, along with the gut wrenching feeling of having to tell you that he was going to be leaving and quitting skating to pursue his dream of becoming an idol.. not to mention the break up that he was in in tears after telling you. you couldn’t even be upset that he was leaving either, you respected his decisions even if that meant you two were going to be apart. if becoming an idol was truly what he wanted to do then how could you possibly get mad at him for that? the break up was understandable, yet messy, something not uncommon for two teenagers navigating their first relationship. if something tore him apart, it was probably that he was parting ways with both his first loves. 

he was wondering if you were watching him through a screen the same way he was with you. he’d watch you glide across the ice and perform tricks that his 12 year old self couldn’t imagine doing. he’d watch as your long time assigned partner would get to be with you 24/7, how their hands would circle around your waist and holster you up on the ice with such effortlessness and grace. sometimes he wishes he could say that that should’ve been him. but he feels different now, he’s no longer the figure skater that he once was, he was sunghoon from enhypen. 

sunghoon rubs his eyes, tired, he had an early schedule in the morning yet here he was watching the videos he swore he would shut off when jay came in and scolded him for not resting yet. 

you were sunghoon’s number one fan and his biggest supporter when he began his training to become an idol. though it clashed with skating practices, you were understanding. then, he told you about his admission into the survival show, i-land, where he was hoping to debut to become an idol full time. meaning leaving you behind. you were upset at the time of the break up, any sane person would be. especially if you loved the person. you continued to support sunghoon throughout i-land, watching the show and voting for him. you remembered his mother calling you and asking you to write a letter for him to read, despite sending a letter for him to read, his reaction was not added to the aired episode and you assumed that the show had either cut out the reaction or the letter wasn’t added to the list of mail in the first place. you never bothered to ask. after his confirmed debut, you congratulated him, and after that, you left to go to canada where you would be training with junhwan, the other figure skater that you and sunghoon were friends with. you were so occupied with practice that your calls and texts to sunghoon lessened and soon halted entirely. 

in the earlier days, you would watch enhypen’s comebacks, even staying up at ridiculous hours just to watch the release. you would contemplate shooting sunghoon a text telling him about how his comeback was great but you never managed to garner the courage to actually send it to him. as the months pass, you are swarmed with practice and schooling. reports of you and sunghoon in the past are replaced with you and your new skating partner and it's plastered over every form of social media that you have. 

you return to south korea after two years of training abroad in canada. you continue practicing in the rink for hours, though now you are a student in yonsei university in seoul. you and your partner become aware of your eligibility to compete in the 2022 olympics in beijing. 

–

“i’m going to have y/n and sunghoon pair up for this next competition.” you and sunghoon’s eyes widen in unison, your coaches almost chuckle at the sight of dismay written all over your faces. even the other members in the club you were in were shocked that sunghoon was competing in a category outside of individuals. but for good reason. sunghoon had never ventured out of individual performances. sunghoon liked being alone, he had never performed with a partner before. he knew of you, he knew you were one level higher than him but you still qualified for the junior category your pairs skate would be judged under. you on the other hand, never switched partners before. sunghoon was in the practice block before yours, you would arrive 30 minutes earlier to get dressed and then stretch, in those 30 minutes you would watch sunghoon dance on the ice. you were enamored and spent more time gawking than stretching. though you were positive that he never knew. 

the other members of the club scattered, their respective coaches giving them more detail on the pieces that they were assigned to be doing. you and sunghoon still frozen and your coach standing in front of you with her clipboard in her arms. 

“i know you’re not used to it yet but we are just trying something new. we promise if this doesn’t end up working then we can switch you back after the competition.” she tells you two. you both nod shyly, your hands clasped behind your back.

an hour later, you and sunghoon take a break to get water and just rest. but it’s still incredibly tense. you were beginning to miss your old partner, the two of you had competed in multiple competitions together, wins tethering from between first place gold and second place silver. you were thinking that things really weren’t going to work out between you and sunghoon. 

“you know, it’s going to be really hard to win first place when we can’t even talk to each other.” you tell him. his back is turned to you as he sets his bottle down on the rink wall. he doesn’t say anything in response so you continue. “you want to win right?” you ask. sunghoon turns around to look at you. 

“of course i want to win.” he tells you blatantly. “then why don’t you talk to me? we can’t be like this if we are partners.” you place your hand on your waist and look at him expectedly. “i didn’t want to be partners.” you roll your eyes at the 15 year old boy. “and you think i wanted to be partners? i want park jihoon back.” sunghoon hates park jihoon. hate is a strong word, he doesn’t hate jihoon, he just mildly dislikes him. he’s loud and annoying, and he disrupts the peace in sunghoons head. 

“why?” 

“why?! i don't know, he’s better than you!” you want to raise your voice, but knowing the rink, voices are amplified in there. “no he’s not, i’m so much better.” sunghoon understands he is far too old to be acting like this but he was getting frustrated trying to convince you that park jihoon was a menace and the bane of his existence and that park sunghoon was the better skater, he’ll show you. 

you thought that your plan to talk to sunghoon had immediately backfired with how much sunghoon expressed that he hated your former partner. but it in fact did help you get closer. within the month leading up to the competition, you and sunghoon had gotten so much closer than you and jihoon ever were. you were sure that sunghoon was going to be going up a level after this because of how hard he was practicing. you would arrive to practice and sunghoon would already be there. 

what you thought was your last performance with sunghoon turned out to just be the very beginning. after getting first place during that competition, your coach asks if you guys want to stay partners for the next competition coming up and the two of you agree that you should remain partners.

–

sunghoon remembers watching your skating performance in beijing on his phone during his break while practicing in the dance studio. he remembers watching you go on for the competitive pairs category, and then the singles free skate. he watches through the camera that follows you as you explore the big rink. you’re smiling. a big, bright, vibrant smile. your smile makes his heart clench in a hot pain. you were always very particular when skating, something that made sunghoon initially ticked off and bothered at first but he realized that was what made you such a disciplined and perfect skater. you were so confident in your strides. despite being the other half of a pair, you always seemed to stand out more than your partner. he remembered that as teenagers, you told him you never feared getting injured because you were careless and naive as a child and that helped you lose the fear of falling and getting hurt. sunghoon probably witness your naivety while practicing more times than not. sunghoon thought that he wasn’t very confident, his coaches would often point out his lack of motivation and confidence, which to outsiders from the skating community may seem harsh and unnecessary jabs, but to sunghoon it was normal because you had to have confidence to survive in figure skating. 

–

“are you alright?” you immediately glide over to sunghoon as he currently takes a fall after not being able to complete a spin. sunghoon brushes your concern aside and gets up nodding. he swipes the ice shavings off his pants and tells you to run it back one more time. 

“i think we should take a break.” you tell him worriedly. sunghoon shakes his head. “i’m fine. we can keep going.” you sigh at his persistence. “we’re taking a break, i’m calling it.” you grab his hand and begin leading him towards the door of the rink. you jump onto the cushioned floor, sitting on one of the hockey players benches and tap at the seat beside you for sunghoon to sit down and join you. he follows your lead, sitting beside you but a fair inches apart. 

“have you been getting enough sleep lately? are you feeling alright?” you barely give him space to talk before placing the back of your hand against his forehead. sunghoon feels himself reddening. he wants to swat at you to stop and he wants to complain about you pushing your boundaries again. but he doesn’t say anything as he lets you continue on with your alleged prognosis. 

“you don’t have a fever, i don’t think you’re sick.” you conclude, sitting back down but continuing to look at him. he feels weak under your suspecting gaze. he doesn’t want you to think somethings wrong with him when obviously nothing is wrong with him. just the undeniable feeling of his stomach doing acrobatics and his heart racing whenever you get close. at first sunghoon thought that perhaps he has fallen ill. but why does that feeling only bubble up when you’re around, or whenever he thinks about you? when he lays in his bed at night and stares at his ceilings until you start coming up in his mind and then he goes to kick his duvet off because he becomes a blushing mess. or when he has to hold your hand in the routine and suddenly he has to keep letting go because he has to wipe his hand on his training sweater before grabbing your hand again. or when he instinctively brings his arms out whenever you attempt to do jumps just in case you hurt yourself when you fall. or times where he has to remind you to put your blade guards on because of the amount of times you’d forget and have to buy a new pair. or when he would be at school and you text him dumb pictures of yourself at school since you two attended different schools. or when both your parents would be late picking you up from practice so you would go buy snacks at a nearby store and just talk. 

sunghoon is 16 years old and he is sure that he has feelings for you. it's an indescribable fuzzy feeling that he can’t seem to get rid of. he shakes himself out of his small recollection of memories, his vision clearing and seeing you again, curiously looking at him, semi bundled up in your training gear. 

“do you want to go to the store after practice? my treat.” he suggests. though his knees are wobbling as he proposes the idea to you. you give him a confused look and then nod, looking away from him and out to the rink, watching the other skaters around. sunghoon sits and stares at you with a soft smile, breathing in and out deeply.

“you never treat me.” 

“just this once.” 

–

your nerves always spiked before competitions. like any sane person would. in the back of your mind, you’d always remember how sunghoon would talk you out of your nerves and it would work because he always knew what to say. somehow sunghoon would never show his anxiousness to you, he’d only help you overcome yours. 

you and your partner are warming up on the ice after the short intermission after the individual category had finished up. you and your partner were the first pair performing. as you’re skating around, as if it were another normal day in the arena. you look up to look amongst the people. your eyes scanning the bleachers promptly before returning to your warm up routine. 

sunghoon watches from the bleachers, hidden behind a cap and a mask. a bouquet of flowers and a penguin plush in his lap, he gently grips the paper covered stems with one hand and his other hand lays on his knee as he trains his eyes onto your figure. you practice some loops here and there, you mainly focus on stretching out your legs and making sure you can maintain your flexibility. you haven’t changed much, physically, you had grown a tad bit taller, your hair coloured remained the same colour it had been since you were younger. he understood there wasn’t much leeway with hair colours in the industry. neither of you were teenagers anymore.

as the performance started, the lights around the rink dimmed and were replaced with much softer lights, along with two spotlights, one for you and one for your partner. somehow you were even more graceful, your technique had improved drastically, there was no way you couldn’t improve when you train with former olympic champions. he watched as you and your partner danced so fluidly on the ice.

he hoped that coming here would finally give him closure. he confesses that he is not over you. not after three painful years of not talking. not after the break up that he initiated for his sake. as the performance comes to a close, you and your partner return to the center of the rink to collect hollers and praise from around the arena. cue the multitudes of flowers and plush toys being thrown onto the ice for the maintenance crew to clean after. sunghoon stands up, hoping that the height would give him an advantage of getting the bouquet and the plush of a penguin onto the rink, close enough to you, for you to see. 

you clasp your hand into your partners and bow gratefully for those who cheer your performance. you decide to pick a plush among the rest, eyes landing on a giraffe a few feet away and skating over to grab it. as you come closer to it, a stuffed penguin bounces its way over to you and slides just by the tip of your skates. there is a ribbon around its neck and a small card attached to it that has a name written on it. you tuck the giraffe under your arm before bending down and crouching to grab the penguin plush. 

the staff begin ushering you and your partner off the stage but you move with their prodding words. sunghoon’s name is written in black ink on the card and you look up in attempt to find the familiar face. your eyes land on someone standing on the bleachers, ready to get up and leave, he stares back at you, the flowers in hand, before stepping down the steps. 

you quickly skate off the ice, uncomfortably waddling down the hallway trying to reach the lobby where you think he would exit. as you round the corner and push the double doors open to expose the cold arena air conditioning air. you find who you think is sunghoon walking towards the door, flowers still in hand. 

“sunghoon?” 

sunghoon turns at the sound of your voice. a hand coming to his mask to pull it down. you’re still in your costume getup and so obviously freezing as the adrenaline from the performance starts to wear down. sunghoon begins peeling his jacket off, worried you would catch a cold when he knows that you can’t afford to miss a day of practice. you bring the plushie to your chest, hugging it tightly with both arms. he walks with fast steps, his jacket ruffling as he comes to drape it over your shoulders. 

–

you sat down on one of the benches outside the girls changing room, sunghoon stands in front of you, head down, occasional sniffles coming from him as he struggled to get the words out his mouth. you felt helpless, watching your boyfriend attempt to grapple with the words he needed to convey the news he dreaded telling you. 

your hand comes to grab his, your thumb rubbing over his skin as you patiently wait for sunghoon to voice out his thoughts. 

“i’m not gonna be skating for a while, i’m going to start focusing on becoming an idol… i feel it would best benefit us if we took some time apart from one another.” 

sunghoon begs you to say something through the painful silence it takes for you to comprehend what he has just said. he feels awful just dropping the bomb on you right there. a day so glorious, rewarding and memorable for the both of you was just ruined by his need to tell you. 

“i don’t know what to say… i’m really proud of you sunghoon.” sunghoon knew you would be understanding. he hated that you weren’t mad at him. he wished that you had yelled at him, told him you hated him, anything to break his heart even more, something to seal and confirm that you didn’t love him anymore. but you were just happy, smiling, supportive as per usual. he had counted on you to push him in his skating career since you two were kids, now that he was pursuing his idol career, you were still there supporting him. 

you tell him you’re a bit bummed out that he had to leave, that he thought breaking up would be the best idea because it would cause less pain on both ends. 

sunghoon still received the letter you had written to him when he was in i-land, he received it in the lunch box his parents sent him, though he didn’t read it until he was hidden way from the cameras and the other occupants of the house. tucked under his blanket in the shared room, he read your letter. for the first time in the show, for the first time in a while, he had cried. 

–

“hey.” 

you and sunghoon sit beside each other on the loveseat of the lobby lounge room. you still have his jacket over you, the penguin squished into your lap. 

“it’s been a while.” you start, he nods, you watch as he plays with his fingers. “why’d you come here?” you ask him, adjusting the ribbon tied around the penguin's neck. 

“i had to see you,” he admits quietly. “i… don’t understand.” you whisper back. he looks at you, eyes glassy. 

“i wanted to say that i’m sorry,” he breathes in deeply “because i never moved on from you. and i was the one who ended us in the first place. you made skating bearable for me, you made me happy and when we broke up i thought that i was doing alright until i continued to keep up with what you were doing and suddenly i started missing you.”

“but you don’t love me anymore?” 

sunghoon sits there, mouth agape for a moment, thinking as if he had to calculate an answer. 

“i’ll always love you.”

butterflies didn’t erupt, not like they used to. of course you still loved sunghoon. but you were two different people at this point. you had your entire career ahead of you and sunghoon was the same.