#and left him (albeit with what we can guess was good intent) with NO goodbye just

[monards]

i know hoyo is setting up rhine to have good intent and whatever in her trying to 'save' khaneri'ah or whatever; but i REALLY hope they stay with the cruel persona thats been built up for her. because it would be so wonderful to see a character who had good intent in the beginning just get absolutely corrupted; with the inability to ever go back to that prior state purely because of what had happened. also because there is NO way in her turning back after all that shit

[ohlovxrr]

first class || charles xavier x reader

i’ve been on an x-men binge and fell into a hole of james mcavoy and charles xavier again, so here we are. i haven’t written fics in a long time, so i tried to again. i’m uncreative so like the title is just the first movie because of the fact that it’s set during that time. kind of like self insert cause there’s a few bits and pieces where there’s canonical plot and interactions, so disclaimer for that. anyways, hope you guys enjoy! ps also don’t have enough energy to find a fitting gif so maybe i’ll find one later maybe i won’t. we’ll see

words: 5.8k

warnings: not proofread (i spent three days on this so i don’t have the energy anymore haha), writing lacks emotional depth, drug use and mentions, intent of murder, thoughts of (murder, rape, suicide, etc.), poorly written two paragraphs about kissing, angst, we ignore moira and charles’ romance cause... duh, it’s x reader and it’s too difficult for me to work around it rn a haha

masterlist

The rooms were always the same. They were dark, illuminated only by the dimmest of lights emanating from the occasional lava lamp or fairy lights. Fairy - ironic word for such situations, such rooms. Filled so heavily with smoke it made it hard to breathe, let alone see. And the floors; the floors always felt different. 

In hindsight, it was probably the one thing that had her realizing the rooms were never actually the same. Sure, they had the same smell, the same overcrowdedness and moving bodies, the same darkness, even the same taste, but the floors testified to the difference each room held. 

Sometimes, when the world would freeze and all the people around her became nothing but a mesh of warm bodies, she could hear the floor creak under her feet with every step she took. There she was - the house right down the street from her. 

Other times, the floors felt sticky under her shoes. She assumed it was tequila. There were always too many bottles around to count, surely there would be spills. Or, some poor guy could have pissed himself like that one time. When her shoes sounded like velcro as she walked across the floor, she was at the house all the way across town.

In any case, she felt the same ankle up. One of her favourite parts had to be the way the music always abused her ears - so high, it made her feel lightheaded. More so than she already had been both. Sex was not nearly regular enough for her to compare, but she knew what she would feel every time the music was loud enough to make her head buzz and throb with a vengeance was more erotic than anything anyone could ever do to her.

The place could change but the scene never really did. Down to the people - she knew this for sure. She knew every beating heart around her like they were her own. She never only felt it there, but in her head as well. Even as it buzzed, she felt it. Sometimes it tore at her skull as if trying to escape - ironic.

Now, why did the scene change one evening in 1962? She told herself it was fate, but it had merely been wishful thinking when she knew why. How did she know? She knew the man sitting next to her on the worn down couch, nearly entirely unconscious and reeking of weed and vodka, knew the girl across the house, the girl across the house knew the man next to her and that - so on and so forth - meant she knew all three of them, even though they didn’t know her. So, for two new men to walk into the house, their eyes focused - focused on her - changed the scene entirely.

Now, the music became nothing more than an assault on her ears; the lights became too bright at the same time as the dark became too dark; the air became heavier than usual; and she sobered up at the feeling of something - someone - in her head. Then, it all caved in. It was as overwhelming as it always was, but she was used to it enough to handle it for a little while, at least whilst remnants of her high remained. She couldn’t say the same for the shorter of the two men she saw keel over at the pressure.

He got over it pretty quick, from what she could tell. “Charles Xavier,” he introduced himself as, “This is my colleague, Erik Lensherr.”

A quick trip from the couch to the door had her standing on the lawn of the house of the night with the two men. Crickets could be heard fighting against the sound of the music blaring from the house as she swayed on her feet, making wet sounds in the grass from earlier rain. Charles stood not much taller than her, charm emanating from him and the way his piercing blue eyes seemed to smile despite his furrowed brows and mouth set in a straight line as he stared at her, waiting for a response with his hands tucked into his coat pockets. Erik stood taller, stoic and calculating.

“And?” She crossed her arms across her chest, both in discomfort and the fact that the chilly night air had begun to bite at her skin, her long sleeve doing nothing to help. “I should care why?”

If the incident earlier wasn’t enough, the way the both of them looked at her was enough for her to know why. “What’s your name?” Charles asked, having her notice then the English accent on his tongue. 

The second she gave it to him, he smiled - almost sympathetically - at her and hummed, “You have an incredibly busy mind, Y/N.”

“And you have an incredibly nosy one, Charles.” That had Erik letting out a chuckle, one that felt like approval to her ears.

Never in a million years would she dare say yes to anything of the sort the two men proposed to her that night. A team of mutants; not necessarily that she thought it was absurd or a horrible idea - no. It made sense, not factoring in their current climate, to have a team of mutants fighting against the evils of the world. The horrible idea was to have her join. No, she wanted to tell them, “I don’t think it’s such a good idea.”

“That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking too,” Erik agreed with her, catching both herself and Charles off guard, “We’ll be going then.”

He offered her his hand. She didn’t know how long she stood there staring at his outstretched arm. Sometimes her high slowed time - it could have been five seconds or five minutes. When she finally looked away from his hand, up at him, she saw he stood unwavered and patient.

“You don’t have to, you know.” Her eyes shot to Charles as he broke the silence. He shook his head, brows still furrowed and mouth set in a straight line. “You’re under no obligation.”

For Charles to know, she understood. He had just been in her mind long enough to know that most of it wasn’t even hers. For Erik to know and offer her his hand made her wonder just how desperate he was to assemble the team - for whatever reason that she was about to find out in a moment.

“We leave now.” Was all he said after he tore his hand from hers.

An hour hasn’t even passed when she found herself on a plane with the two men, mind still buzzing but this time not with a high. This time, with an overwhelming anger and anticipation. The way Erik didn’t make eye contact with her and Charles sent worried glances her way throughout their trip to their “base” was enough to tell her that they knew she had already been briefed on what was happening - the reason behind their assembling of a team. Rather, she knew specifically of the personal motive behind it.

All it made her heart feel like it was beating a mile a minute. It pounded against her chest so hard she was sure at least one of them could hear it. So badly did she want to hide out in the plane’s bathroom and take something to stop the pain, but it was off the table. For now.

Soon enough the flight ended, and she came to find out their “base” was a covert CIA facility where they placed the other mutants they rounded up before her. She just as quickly met and said goodbye to Moira MacTaggert, a CIA officer working with Charles and Erik to stop Shaw. His name alone sent sparks of rage flowing through her veins.

She was left with the group when the three went off that night. There, she came face to face with Raven, Sean, Alex, Hank, Darwin, and Angel - or, Mystique, Banshee, and Havok. Darwin and Angel were “self explanatory”, considering they were already nicknames and described their powers fairly well. Hank was just… Hank.

Her turn came around quickly, once everyone settled down from Alex’s show of his “gift”, when all heads turned to her, sitting at the end of the couch. Raven smiled at her - she liked her, she was sweet - “What about you? What’s your power?”

“I’m,” She paused for a moment, the eyes on her making her anxious and curl into herself hoping, praying, another mutant wouldn’t touch her. “I can move things. With my mind.” She gave a tight smile to Raven and nodded her head, as if to reassure herself. “I can move things with my mind.”

Raven’s smile only widened, excited by either the prospect of her being able to move things with her mind or the opportunity to give her an alias. She assumed it was the latter. She excused herself to the washroom just as Raven asked the group what they thought. “We’ll have one for you once you get back! Promise!” Raven called after her.

Body filled with anticipation, she nearly ran to the washroom, willing the door closed behind her after she entered. It was small, but clean - CIA property after all. 

She tried. She really did. Albeit, making contact with a mutant was always the worst; Erik especially. The trauma, the pain, the thoughts. All them clawed at her brain, as though they were tearing through it layer by layer until nothing but them remained within her skull.

Nothing could stop her from taking out the small baggy in her back pocket and tearing it open. Nothing could stop her from taking it, only to feel a rush flow through her. It would take a bit, but soon enough she would stop feeling them gnawing on her very existence. Soon, numbness would wash over her and she could just be no one.

She guessed she was in the washroom for about half an hour. Staring at her reflection, at the floor, at the ceiling, at anything, but when she made her way back to the room, she found it in disarray. Music was blasting from the radio, chairs flipped over, Raven on top of the couch dancing as Hank hung from the ceiling light, the rest of the group messing around with their powers. She couldn’t tell if they were experiencing some high of their own or just happened to have gotten their hands on some alcohol.

“What are you doing? Who destroyed the statue?” Moira’s voice broke her out of the trance she was in watching the group. Slowly, she turned her head to see her, Charles, and Erik walking over as everyone else froze. Moira was angry, that much anyone could tell, but the two men were unreadable.

Hank was the first one to reply back, jumping down the ceiling, panicked, “It was Alex.”

“No. Havok.” Raven seemed to stay unfazed, still standing on the couch with a wide smile on her face. “We have to call him Havok. That's his name now…”

Raven’s words melted away from her. Her focus wasn’t elsewhere; it was simply nowhere at all. She stared at everyone in the room, yet no one at all. So caught up in nothing she didn’t notice Charles himself staring at her until Erik uttered something under his breath and walked away with Moira following, brows furrowed in what looked to be confusion. Just as she caught his eye, he looked away.

Directed at Raven, he spoke firmly, “I expect more from you.”

Not long after, they had gotten word that Shaw would be in Russia, and so she was left with the group of mutants when the three left alongside the CIA to get their hands on him. Before, it would have made her wonder what purpose the group of mutants really served if they didn’t want them there to help. Now, after the incident, she understood why.

By no means were any of them prepared for such a task. She couldn’t claim to be either. She only agreed because she knew a part within her would hate her for not coming and at the very least trying to help.

Just when she thought she and the solemn group couldn’t be any more of a liability, she was proven wrong. Because now Sebastian Shaw stood in front of them, smug and irritating as ever, after having his lackey drop an unsuspecting CIA to his death in front of all of them and cornering them. 

“Good evening. My name's Sebastian Shaw, and I'm not here to hurt you.” She was sure she wasn’t the only one assuming he had taken out every single CIA operative in the facility to make it this far; a thought that filled her being with even more dread than she was already feeling at the sight of him. “My friends, there's a revolution coming. When mankind discovers who we are, what we can do, each of us will face a choice. Be enslaved or rise up to rule. Choose freely, but know that if you are not with us, then by definition, you are against us. So, you can stay and fight for the people who hate and fear you. Or you can join me, and love like kings and queens.”

They all watched, both shocked and betrayed when Angel took the hand Shaw outstretched, standing by his side even when he murdered Darwin in his attempt to stop him with Alex. She didn’t see it - she turned away the second Shaw released the energy he’d taken from Alex into Darwin. She heard it, though. The explosion. When she turned back, as Shaw, Angel, and the men he had brought with him retreated, she saw nothing. There was no sign of Darwin; not even a speck of dust.

Suddenly, her chest tightened and the clawing came back.

----------------------------------

The person who happened to almost send them home also happened to be the one who provided them a new place to train their powers for the fight with Shaw. Charles was entirely serious and extremely close to sending them all home; “They’re just kids.” But Erik made it clear to him that they couldn’t be anymore, not after Shaw.

Charles lived, alongside Raven, in a massive mansion that had been entirely too big for her to take in, but it provided the perfect space for them to train their powers. Each of them were assigned rooms by Charles personally that day. 

He took the liberty of walking them each there. She didn’t know if it was just her or a Charles thing, but he stayed quiet. Unusual for a man that had so much to say. But then again, with what they’ve already been through, she couldn’t imagine he was feeling very chatty. She certainly wouldn’t have been in his situation. Granted, she would be feeling the same way now, but in her predicament by this point, she wouldn’t mind someone else’s verbal company.

The second he guided her through the bedroom

door, she began to take in the sheer size of the room, feeling bigger than life itself in the way that she was feeling. The bed was even better; huge and looked as though the softness of it would swallow her into a warm hug. Her first instinct would have been to jump right onto it, but the fact that Charles ceased to leave and instead remained planted there, giving her a look she couldn’t make out once she turned to face him, made her fight against her urges.

She opened her mouth in an attempt to utter an “Are you alright?” but never got the chance. Instead, Charles spoke as soon as her mouth opened, slowly, as if to make sure she understood every word he was saying like she had been incapable of doing so before, “Training starts tonight, but I’ll be seeing you tomorrow.”

With her brows furrowed in confusion, she nodded, and Charles began to walk away. He stopped by the frame of the door, back to her, and spoke again, “Try and get some rest.”

With that, he shut the door behind him. Now, she was left in the room alone, tiredness washing over her. Awaiting the next day, she decided to fall into the cloud that was the bed and fall asleep while she could.

----------------------------------

The next morning was when Charles asked to see her - by Raven. The young woman led her over to a room, an odd dome shaped one, where Charles stood waiting. He wasn’t the same as the night before - uncomfortable, was the only way she knew to describe it - welcoming and encouraging.

“We’ve got plenty of work to do,” Charles spoke, hands in his pockets, as she entered and Raven excused herself elsewhere. Looking around, she could see evidence that training had started last night, namely Alex’s. Dark scuff marks were streaked across walls of the dome on the end farthest from them and small balls of fluff on the floor remained, assumingly left behind in the midst of a quick clean up of training dummies that had been torn open.

Despite the mess, several other objects were placed across the floor. All ranged from light to heavy. Chairs, weights - it looked to be anything he could have been capable of carrying in with the help of the others.

She stopped in front of him. “What’s this?”

The man’s smile widened before he started, rather loudly at that. “Well.” He moved towards the objects then spun around to face her, arms outstretched. “This is the beginning of your training.”

She raised an eyebrow, looking at the man unimpressed. “You want me to move this stuff around?”

“You’re not just moving stuff around.” Charles shook his head, arms dropping to his sides as he declared. “You don’t need to move everything here. I only need to see how much you can handle.” His head tilted as he looked at her, blue eyes meeting her own as his expression retreated to one of curiosity. “And how you handle it.”

She didn’t think the professor was aware of the innuendo within the situation, so she let it go despite the sweet stomach dropping feeling that came over her. Instead, she shrugged. “Then what?”

“Then,” Charles hesitated for a moment, “Erik was able to move a satellite dish. If it happens to be possible-”

“A satellite dish?” She laughed incredulously, “You can be serious.”

Charles nodded towards her, challenging her statements as he took a few steps forward. “And what is it that’s making you believe you’re incapable of doing anything similar?”

“Look.” She shook her head, looking directly at him when she said, “I can move the average household item, shut a door and maybe, just maybe, bust it down, but I couldn’t push your couch across the room, let alone move a fu- a satellite dish.”

Charles’ brows furrowed. “And that’s what you believe?”

She hummed. “That’s what I know.”

“Well,” he sighed, disappointment written across his face that sent her into a spiral, “There’s not much we can do if you don’t believe you can better yourself, is there?”

The second he walked past her was when it felt as though ice water had been spilt onto her. A mixture of confusion and gloom washed over her before she turned to see Charles’ back, still moving towards the door. “What?”

He stopped in his tracks at her exclamation, waiting several moments as if contemplating before he turned back to her. Carefully, he asked, “Why do you take them?”

She shook her head, looking almost offended. “How did you-”

“Your mind,” Charles confirmed, “It gets quieter.”

The offence on her face never ceased, but the uncomfortable mixture of feelings she was overwhelmed with had her shrug in response to his question. Charles only nodded and gave her a tight smile before turning back.

She closed her eyes, resigning herself with huff. She could go back to the life she had come to know and hate, or she could take the second chance he was giving her even if it did include the prospect of some suffering.

“I don’t take them for fun.” The sound of her voice made Charles stop again. This time, he waited. “When I touch a person I don’t just take every experience. I take every memory.”

He turned around to face her once more and gave her nod, signalling her to continue. She breathed in and out. “I see and I feel everything that’s happened to them. That’s a lot and it’s enough, but that’s not why I-”

She cut herself off, feeling herself choke on the words before shaking her head and persisting herself on despite Charles’ look of concern. “I take them because, when I take their memories, I take all of their thoughts too. Every one. So every thought of murder, or rape, or suicide, or any fucked up thing, keeps tearing me apart from the inside out.”

Charles nodded, walking closer to her, choosing his words carefully as he spoke, sympathy written deep in his soft voice, “And they scare you.”

She shook her head. Looking away from him for a moment, she willed away tears she felt gathering. She turned back to him. “The thought of acting on them scares me.”

Although slightly taken aback by the revelation, Charles holds his composure. He nodded before opening his mouth to respond, walking closer as he began.

The only reaction he got was her taking a step back, shaking her head. “I swear I’m not a bad person.” Charles assumed she didn’t want him touching her - considering she took away every thought. “I’m always all these people at once - I don’t even know who I am.”

“Then we will figure it out.” Charles tilted his head, making sure her eyes met his when she attempted to look away. His voice was soft and reassuring to her ears, even if she didn’t know whether to believe him or not. “You aren’t alone, Y/N.”

As it turns, the drugs were having a large effect on her ability to use her powers - the next few days told her as much. By no means was she capable of moving a satellite dish, but she had been able to take her powers to lengths she never thought she could have been able to.

Most of it was due to Charles - he’d spent most of the next few days with her, pushing her, sometimes to the point where she’d snap at him. She always calmed, though, and Charles always remained coolheaded.

Still, they grew closer. Or at least she grew closer to him. She couldn’t tell if the praise, the laughs, the banter, and the willingness to come back together after a fight only meant something to her. She hoped it did - because why else wouldn’t he just give up on her? All that time spent on advancing her powers to defeat Shaw, and he still talked about helping her as though their relationship would continue past this mission.

Part of her wanted to touch him so she could just know. Even if he hadn’t taken such a liking to her as she had him, at the very least try to understand him in his entirety and make a space for herself in his life. Then, another part of her was horrified at what she would find in there.

For the time being, there wasn’t much opportunity to dwell on it. The day they would head out was coming soon, and Erik suggested the group get a good night’s rest. They would all need it.

With her luck, she didn’t know why she thought that sleep would come easy that night. Whether it was due to adrenaline, anxiety, or anything else, didn’t matter. Because whatever was keeping her up had her pacing the hallways of Charles’ estate that night.

She wasn’t looking for it, but instead happened upon a conversation. 

“… no difference. Shaw’s declared war on mankind. On all of us. He has to be stopped.” She heard Charles’ voice through a door as she passed by. Although knowing that he could probably make out the sound of her mind from a mile away, she still stopped by it. She grew even more curious when she heard Erik’s voice. 

“I'm not gonna stop Shaw. I'm gonna kill him. Do you have it in you to allow that?” A moment of silence passed and she shifted on her feet. It made the floor creek. She shut her eyes and bit her lip, nervous, expecting to hear the sound of one of their footsteps coming to open the door and catch her eavesdropping. Whether they heard or not, she didn’t know as Erik continued on, “You've known all along why I was here, Charles. But things have changed. What started as a covert mission, tomorrow mankind will know that mutants exist. Shaw, us, they won't differentiate. They'll fear us. And that fear will turn to hatred.”

“Not if we stop a war,” Charles’ voice wavered on a line of urgency and assurance, “Not if we can prevent Shaw. Not if we risk our lives doing so.”

Charles very well could have been doing nothing but reassuring Erik with his words, but she couldn’t help but wonder if he was actually trying to reassure himself. As if the world wouldn’t either discard or abuse them once they’ve served their purpose of their betterment. 

“Will they do the same for us?”

“We have it in us to be the better men.”

“We already are.” Erik’s voice quickly turned from calm to urgent when he next spoke. “We're the next stage of human evolution. You said it yourself!”

“No, no!” She heard Charles attempt to cut Erik off before he sighed. She could practically hear the disappointment in it, although she couldn’t say she felt the same. He only let Erik continue.

“Are you really so naive as to think that they won't battle their own extinction?” She heard him pause. “Or is it arrogance?”

“I’m sorry?” As if Charles had misheard him. 

She shifted on her feet once more as their voices became more hushed, despite the feeling coming from the room becoming more hostile than calm. This time, she was more careful. Nothing made a sound below her feet when she moved closer to the door, pressing her ear against it, as well as her left palm for support.

“After tomorrow, they're gonna turn us. But you're blind to it, because you believe they're all like Moira.” 

“And you believe they're all like Shaw.” Came Charles’ immediate response. Calmly, she heard him continue, “Listen to me very carefully my friend. Killing Shaw will not bring you peace.”

Erik’s voice never wavered when he told Charles, “Peace was never an option.”

Footsteps came far too fast for her to move away from the door. In a split second, she found herself leaning against the door to crashing into Erik’s chest when he pulled the door open. For a moment, Erik stood staring down at her, watching her attempt to recompose herself and attempt to apologize. She didn’t get a word out before he moved past her and walked away.

She watched his form retreat before she turned back to the room. Standing in the doorway, she saw Charles sitting in the chair facing away from her. With his eyes closed and fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed, “You realize I can hear your mind from across this house?”

She took a step in, almost reluctantly. She didn’t imagine Charles would be content with anything she had to say, but maybe she could make him understand. “Erik’s right, you know.”

Her words had Charles’ eyes snap open. He got out the chair, setting down the drink he was nursing on the table next to him, before he turned to face her. “Excuse me?”

“Peace isn’t an option ‘cause we’re never gonna get peace.” She shook her head, desperation in both her voice and eyes as she stared into his. “Erik thinks they’re gonna turn on us. They might not, but it doesn’t mean any of us will get any peace. They won’t all be like Shaw, they won’t all be like Moira, but most of them - most of them will just be human. They’ll fear us and they’ll judge us. It doesn’t matter how harmless we are or not.”

She watched as Charles took a step forward, his head tilting to the side, expression unreadable as his voice remained calm. “You can’t be serious.” It was a statement - a wrong one.

“Shaw needs to die,” She spoke with assurance. She felt her eyes fill with tears, Charles watching her suck in a breath and release as he began to walk closer to her, before she spoke in a whisper, no longer trusting her voice, “Shaw needs to die for what he did to us. We’re going to kill him, Charles.”

They’re faces we’re merely inches apart, chilling her to the bone as he looked at her. What she thought he would never do is what he tried the second he began to raise his hand, speaking quickly to her when he asked, “Us?”

His hand almost cupped her cheek when she turned her head away from it. Immediately, his hand froze. Charles watched her profile as more tears welled up in her eyes and her lips began to tremble. Voice weak and tearful, staring away from him, she pleaded, “Please don’t confuse me. I can’t-”

“I know you feel it,” Charles’ other hand came up to guide her face back to him despite her, whispering carefully, “But it is not your cross to bear.”

His hand was warm against her cheek. Comforting - enough to make her mind go blank. Wishful thinking, of course, because soon the clawing in her head would come back with a vengeance at having a man such as Charles touch her. For now, though, he felt safe. Stable. Enough so that she could close her eyes for a moment and let the tears fall as he leaned down to her and let his forehead press against hers. 

“You can’t help but feel his pain,” She felt his breath against her lips as he spoke, his voice the same soft and soothing as she’s known it to be, “But you can decide what you do with it.”

She shook her head gently and pulled away, but still letting Charles’ hand rest against her cheek. “It’s not just-” she whispered to him, mouth feeling dry as her eyes avoided his, trying to piece her thoughts together. His hand slid down to the base of her neck, guiding her eyes to his. She licked her lips before she swallowed. “I barely knew Darwin, but he killed him right in front of us. And it was cruel and scary and I couldn’t even make myself look at it when it happened.”

“I know.” Charles brought his other hand up to brush away slow falling tears she hadn’t even known began to escape. He voiced nothing but concern, letting her continue as if he knew what she was going to say next. 

Her hands reached up to wrap around his wrists, not to pull his hands away from her, but to simply hold onto them. Almost as if they were an anchor to make up for the tears she now felt were falling faster down her face as she realized. “For the first time, I think I want something, I feel this anger and fear, because of my head. I saw it first and I felt it first. It’s mine, and now I have a real responsibility to take care of it.”

“Not with murder.” Her hands tightened around his wrists as he brought her face closer to his own. A frown on his face as he desperately told her, “I meant it when I told you that we would figure this out together. You told me you were never your own person, that you don’t even know yourself. We were - we are - going to bring you into existence. I beg you, Y/N, don’t let yourself be brought into this world as a murderer.”

His words, as beautiful as they were, only half registered within her brain. All she found herself focusing on then was how close he was. She would think back later and come to realize that it was because the only thing making her tears stop and giving her the will not to commit a murder was the prospect of approval she would get from a man like him. From someone who could never understand her struggle, someone who never tried to or tried to make her feel as though there was some way out. From someone who wanted to build on it and show her the strength she could find within it.

Realistically, she knew he would have a few words for her if she ever outwardly admitted to him that she used approval as a means for bettering herself, but it was the best she could do at the time being.

Charles’ brows furrowed as he watched her face, spaced out and regarding him with an expression not even he could read. Somewhere deep down, though, he knew he had gotten through to her. His lips curled up slightly, speaking lowly with amusement evident in his voice, “Now where did you go?”

Her eyes shot from his lips to his eyes once more. As quick as they made eye contact, she leaned forward to press her lips against his. Lips soft, she kissed him carefully, one hand moving to cup his face. Only in the last few moments did he respond to it by kissing back.

She pulled away, looking at him nervously and letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in. Her mouth was dry again. “I’m sorry-”

She was cut off by Charles’ lips on hers once more. She kissed back instantly, sighing into the kiss in content. Feeling Charles smirk against her lips and deepen the kiss, she put both hands behind his neck, pulling his body closer to hers. He took her lower lip between his teeth, pulling slightly as he let his hands trail down her body to her waist, pulling her to make sure there wasn’t the slightest gap between their bodies.

Their lips broke apart, but only long enough to allow for a quick breath. Charles pushed his lips back into hers as her hands snaked down to the collar of his dress shirt, playing carefully with the top button.

Eventually, their lips broke apart as they caught their breath. Bodies still pressed together, Charles leant forward to rest his forehead onto hers, her eyes still close, for a moment before pressing a kiss to it. He placed his chin on top of her head and rested there, her head resting against the crook of his neck as she felt him - anticipating what it would feel like to feel nothing but him. 

[bestiesenpai]

firsts with itadori yuji

I hope you don’t mind I’m kind of running with this idea and adding more than you asked lol I just...i don’t know it butters my biscuit. Also gender neutral reader~

First meeting:

It’s at his old school

You’re in his class, but you never talk to each other! Itadori is shy with you, believe it or not! He wants to say something but whenever he thinks about going up to you, whether you’re alone or with a group, his stomach twists in knots

Luckily though, you’re also in a club that ends right when he goes to the hospital to see his grandpa, so he’ll walk a little slower to see you coming out of your club room talking and laughing with your friends and he’ll imagine what it must be like to be in a club with you

Will not ask you to join his club tho, shy shy shy he is

It’s only when it’s raining and, yes you guessed it correctly folks, you don’t have an umbrella!

Itadori Yuji has a few options here lads, what do we think he’ll pick?

Option one: be a cool guy and slide right up to you with his umbrella already open in his hands and tell you that he’ll walk you home

Option two: ask politely if you’d like to walk under his umbrella together to your house and maybe stop at a convenience store along the way for a candy?

Option three: be a cool guy(again) and just put the umbrella in your hands and tell you to use it and he walks out into the rain with only his hood on, enticing you to run out to him and say that you two can share an umbrella!

What option do you think he’s chosen?

Now was Yujis chance. You were alone, standing just inside the school entryway rocking back and forth on your heels, a little pout on your lips at seeing the downpour. It had only just started raining, it was clear weather all week, so this rain is more than just a little unexpected.

Gripping his umbrella tightly in his hands, Yuji walks up to you, intent on asking if you want to share his. He’d be more than happy to walk you home, his grandpa would be happy to hear that he walked his crush home instead of ‘wasting his time’ coming to the hospital.

“H-hey!” Yuji’s voice goes higher than he intended when he drops his umbrella and kicks it forward as he walks, launching it at your feet and making you jump a little and turn around. His face erupts in a fiery blush when you pick it up and look at him quizzically.

“Here you go.” You say, holding it out for him to take. Yuji shakes his head almost violently, much to your confusion. “Uhm, Itadori, what are you trying to say?”

You know his name. Oh fuck, you know his name and here he is making a fool of himself.

“I-I- no, take my umbrella.” His brain is in critical overdrive. He truly might pass out. “Take my umbrella! I have my hood, and I’m not going very far! Just to the hospital, to see my grandpa! They’ll probably have an umbrella there I can borrow if it’s still raining!” He really, honestly, truly didn’t mean to say all that, but the words came out like vomit.

“Oh, that’s nice, thank you so much!” Your smile warms his heart but does nothing to calm him down. “But I’m-”

“(Y/N)!” One of your friends shouts from down the hall, and they quickly round the corner with their own umbrella in their hands.

“Hey!”

“I got my umbrella from the classroom, let's go home now!” Your friend quickly notices Yuji. “Hi Itadori, what’s up?”

“He offered me his umbrella. Thanks again, Itadori!” Grabbing his hand, you put the umbrella back in his possession.

“Uh- yeah! You- welcome! Welcome!” Yuji stutters out, waving dumbly back at you as you wave at him and leave the school with a cute little smile on your cheeks.

Yuji was never going to wash his hand again.

First hangout:

This one happens as a going away party for himself after he’s accepted into his new school

He wants to say goodbye to his clubmates, and somehow word got out and a few classmates are coming as well - even you!

Everyone got him a little cake and you’ve all signed a going away card, and Yuji hones in on your message, a cute swirly one written in a glitter gel pen with a heart by his name

Afterschool in the classroom, you all decide to play games and stuff, and that’s when he gets to be close to you

“(Y/N), Itadori, you’re up next!” Somehow a tournament style game has started of who can hold their breath the longest. Standing face to face at the front of the room, you give him a big thumbs up.

“You’re probably going to win, Itadori, I’m bad at this kind of thing.” You laugh.

“Let’s see.” Is all he can say as a reply. You’d talked a bit more after your first meeting, but he could never get more than a few words out at a time.

“Go!” Sucking in deep breaths, you stare at each other with puffed out cheeks. You’re already struggling, fighting back laughter and clapping a hand over your mouth. Yuji thinks he might lose just from seeing how cute you are in front of him.

“Ahhh!” You lose, just like you said you would. Dizzy from lack of air, you stumble forward into him, laughing and gripping the front of his jacket. “Told you!” His hand lands on your shoulder and Yuji is sure he could pass away happy right now.

“Yeah, you are pretty bad.” Yuji laughs, finally breaking his nervous shell around you the more you laugh and pat him on the arm.

After this game, you form a team and play with a ball, help each other with cards, and you even paint his nails in a pretty polish you’d brought from home. At the end, Yuji is still too nervous to ask for your number, so this is the last time you see each other.

First confession:

It’s been two years since then, he’s a third year now and Yuji still thinks about you. He still checks in with his old school friends from time to time and asks about you, and he follows you on Instagram and sees the things you post and how much you’ve changed over the years

He’s not content living this way, only seeing and hearing about you like this, but it’s been two years since you last saw each other and you weren’t exactly close before you left, so he couldn’t just slide into your DM’s

And in the past two years he’s changed. A lot. Not only has he been swamped with his new life, he also has a whole nother soul inside of him that quickly learned of his long lost crush and teased him about it nonstop

But on a free day in the city with Nobara, he’s quite literally buzzing - you’re in the same area. He saw you post last night about going to a certain cafe and all he had to do was ask Nobara if she wanted to go to the city and she said yes immediately.

And now he’s standing in front of said cafe, and he can see you inside. Surprisingly you’re alone, and his fingers itch to go in and ‘casually’ bump into you

Nobara knows of his crush on you as well, and as soon as she spots you she’s pushing Yuji through the door, and of course they cause a fucking scene

“Get in the fucking cafe!” Nobara is shouting not so quietly. There’s people walking past them, looking confused, and Yuji could literally die right now, especially when he makes eye contact with you.

He gives up then, letting himself get pushed into the cafe. He expects Nobara to follow after him but she’s running down the street cackling evilly. Yuji has no other option than to go in and order a drink, albeit shamefully.

“H-hi. Is this seat taken?” He asks you. You’d been watching him ever since you saw him with a big smile barely concealed by your hand.

“Of course not, Itadori.” You giggle.

God, he’s missed you.

Sitting down across from you, Yuji takes a quick sip of his drink to soothe his suddenly parched throat. Sukuna knows better than to pop out in public, but that still doesn’t stop Yuji from putting a hand over one of the marks below his eyes, just in case.

“How have you been (Y/N)?” He tries to say casually, but his voice warbles and Sukuna chuckles quietly for only him to hear.

“I’ve been good! It’s been so long, Itadori, I’ve missed you!” You pout, a wicked sight for his heart, and you reach across the table to pat Yuji on the arm. “I’ve been wanting to message you on Instagram for forever now but I’ve been too nervous you wouldn’t really remember me!”

“You have?” Yuji gasped dramatically, and he could hear not only you but Sukuna laughing at him.

“Yeah! I’m actually really surprised to see you here, I thought you went to a school out in another prefecture.”

“N-no! I’m still in Tokyo!”

“Really, we should totally hang out sometime!”

“Yes!” This couldn’t be going any better for Yuji. There’s a pause in conversation where you both take a sip of your drinks.

“So, was that your girlfriend pushing you into the cafe?”

“What?!” Yuji nearly shouts, almost spitting out his drink. “G-girlfriend?!” His cheeks blush lightly, and he shakes his head. “No. No way, she is not my girlfriend. She’s my classmate.”

“That’s good to hear, actually.” Now is your turn to be embarrassed, and a bashful smile spreads on your cheeks. “Because I’ve always kind of liked you.”

What.

“What?!” This time Yuji does shout, Sukuna is definitely laughing at him and teasing him, and you’re nodding in confirmation. “Oh my god.” Running a hand through his hair, Yuji doesn’t even have to think about his next words. “I like you too! A lot!”

“Really?” Your brow raises.

“Yes! Ever since first year. I’ve had a-” was he really about to say this? “A massive crush on you.” He realizes what he’s said is a little heavier than what you said. A massive crush is much different than kind of liking someone, but he can’t help it. And Sukuna is quick to point out the difference in his head as well.

“Then we really have to hang out!” Yuji laughs, relieved you feel the same way.

“It’s a date.” He says and delights in the way you share a cheeky smile.

“Definitely a date.”

First date:

Yuji never thought he’d ever have the opportunity to go on a date with you, at least not in this lifetime

You exchange numbers at the cafe and as soon as Yuji gets back to the dorms he’s texting you, asking if you got home okay and to let him know when you’re free

That first text is a gateway drug because now he can’t stop texting you all the time, even when he’s in class or should be training

He’s staying up far too late to message you but no one can stop him

When your schedules finally align again, you both settle on going to a ramen shop close by his old school

6pm. That’s the time you agreed to meet up. So why was Yuji already down the block from the restaurant at 5:15?

“God you’re so desperate!” Sukuna laughed as Yuji sat in an empty park waiting for time to go by.

“I know, I know.” He groaned back, tilting his head back and squeezing his eyes together. “I was so nervous about being late I didn’t even think!”

“Ya know, when I had my own body, I used to go on dates all the time! Women flocked to me, I was a god!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Slapping a hand over the mouth that had appeared, Yuji rolled his eyes. “I’m not like you, we know this.”

“I was hoping I’d be rubbing off on you, kid, but it seems not.” Sukuna sighed in disappointment. When 6pm finally came, Yuji all but ran to the restaurant. He was still ten minutes early, and when you came strolling up the nervous jitters he had increased.

“Hi!” You looked so cute, Yuji could pass out.

“H-hey.” He waved stupidly, and then stumbled to open the door for you. Quickly grabbing a table, he was paying more attention to you than the menu.

“What’re you gonna get? I can’t decide!” You whined, slapping your menu against the table.

“Oh uhm, maybe this one?” Pointing at the first thing he saw that looked mildly interesting, he watched you nod your head and hum. “Or maybe this.” Looking at the menu properly, Yuji pointed at something he’d actually get.

“Ooooh, I wanna get that too! If you get it, will you let me try some?” Your face lit up and you bit your lip, eyes darting between things on the menu.

“Of course!” Yuji nodded without any hesitation.

“Yay! I just can’t decide, everything looks so good!”

“It does!” As he laughed and kept looking at things on the menu with you, Yuji finally let himself relax a little bit. You made great conversation, asking about his new and how he’d been, how he got those scars under his eyes and what his new school was like.

Yuji had never had so much fun talking with someone before, and when the date came to a close, he could nearly cry. He wanted to be with you all the time, see you more often and build more memories together. The thought of going back to his old school even came back.

“I’ll walk you to the station.” He said instead, pushing away all the thoughts in his head.

“Thanks.” You were side by side walking down the block, and Yuji was beginning to find it more and more coincidental that your hand kept bumping into his. He could feel you looking at him from the corner of your eye, and he knew he had to make the leap.

Slipping his hand into yours, he wound your fingers together and squeezed. Both of your palms were kind of sweaty and neither of you looked at each other, but you squeezed his hand back and held it tightly until you got to the station and your train arrived.

First kiss:

After the first date, Yuji is hooked

Any chance the two of you have to be together, he takes even if it means shirking his responsibilities a little bit(Fushiguro is upset but who can stop love?)

You go get ice cream together, go to the arcade, the movies, the park, you even meet Nobara and Fushiguro on a chance day

You do all these things together, but Yuji still hasn’t kissed you!

He wants to, so so bad, but he just can’t, he’d die of embarrazzment if he fucked up and like hit you in the head or something

But sometimes, as nike said, you just gotta do it

It’s raining again, just like when you first spoke to each other. A torrential downpour, but this time you didn’t have a friend coming with their umbrella to the front of the school to share with you. Yuji was coming to your school after your club to pick you up for an impromptu date.

“Hey!” You shouted, braving the rain and meeting him halfway when you spotted him coming up. Hugging him tightly, you shivered from the wind whipping through the air.

“Hi.” Slipping your bag from around your shoulders, Yuji slung it over his shoulder. His arm settled on your waist, holding you close and making sure you were completely covered. Walking so close together like this made him happy, and he almost pressed a kiss to your head.

“Yuji.” You said as you were walking, stopping by a low river lined with trees.

“Hm?” He still couldn’t get over the fact that you were now saying his first name. The both of you stopped walking and you stepped back a little from him, wringing your hands nervously.

“We’ve been going out for a while now and…” Biting your lip nervously, you couldn’t meet his eyes and looked out at the trees being pelted with water. “And I was wondering if you uh- if you wanted to be my boyfriend?”

Oh shit. Yuji was so shocked, he nearly dropped the umbrella.

“B-boyfriend?” He squeaked, his cheeks spreading in a bashful smile. “I’d love to.”

“Really?” Letting out a relieved sigh, you clasped a hand over your heart. “That’s good! I was so nervous.” The way you were looking at him, Yuji knew this was the perfect time to kiss you.

“C-can I kiss you?” His question made your eyes widen, and silently you nodded your head.

Sliding his foot forward on the wet pavement, Yuji faltered a few inches from your mouth, suddenly nervous. He had never kissed anyone before, and what if he was horrible at it and you hated it?

He didn’t have any time to keep thinking about it though, because you closed the gap and kissed him. Dropping his umbrella in shock, Yuji’s eyes widened and he kissed you back, grabbing your shoulder to steady himself.

It was a sweet and innocent first kiss, soft and gentle for the inexperience shared between you. It didn’t even last that long, but it was the most memorable moment of Yuji's life.

“How was that?” He asked when he pulled away. The two of you were getting absolutely soaked with the rain and it dripped down his face into his eyes and mouth.

“Great.” You giggled shyly, putting a hand on your face to hide yourself. Yuji laughed as well and gave your cheek a kiss before picking up the fallen umbrella.

“You wanna go to that ramen shop?” Yuji whispered close to your ear, adjusting your bag on his shoulder.

“Sure.” Turning to him, your eyes dropped to his lips and you gave him a quick peck, breaking out into a fit of giggles again. Beginning to walk down the street, if anyone saw the two of you, they would immediately know what young love looked liked, as it was perfectly plastered on both of your faces.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Irreconcilable

Warnings: nonconsent sex, violence.

This is dark!Steve and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You and Steve come to a breaking point but he’s not ready to let you go.

Note: My current kink is Steve Rogers being a bad motherfucker with a hint of insanity. Like he really coming in hot here. Oh and he got a touch of breeding kink. Enjoy <3

Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

You had come a long way since you were a naive SHIELD agent mooning over the one and only Steve Rogers. You were no longer an agent, you had married Steve Rogers, and now you were divorcing Steve Rogers. Five years went by in a flash and yet it felt like an eternity. It was like you were starting over again.

New job, new house, new you. Just you. Alone.

It was a breath of fresh air. You had spent so long in denial that acceptance felt like freedom. In the two years of wedded misery you spent with Steve, you had convinced yourself it was bliss. Something about that ring had changed him and he had expected you to change too.

Well you did, just not how he wanted. 

It was subtle at first. He was still sweet and your honeymoon was immaculate. When you got home, back in the thick of things, he started to grow irritable. At home, on missions, in bed. First, it started with a breakfast you failed to cook. Then he didn’t think you should be working so much as he was eager to start a family. The revelation that you were in no such hurry, further agitated him. And when it came to intimacy…

When you were just dating, he was doting, gentle, diligent. He worshipped you and made you feel beautiful. Then he turned relentless. Foreplay dwindled to a slap on the ass and a growled order. On nights you denied him, for a headache or some report you had to read, he slept on the couch. And when you didn’t reject him, it was as if he was intent upon hurting you. Punishing you for daring to defy him.

And when you tried to talk it out, there was nothing to talk about. He grew silent and restless. He didn’t have the patience to stay and delve into whatever had turned him so cruel. He had work to do or at least, something better. 

And he attended a single counseling session before he stormed out and declared it nonsense. In his day, couples made it work, through thick and thin. Well, in his day, husbands also got away with slapping around their wives and children. You liked to think that the new century had improved upon the formula.

Then his missions grew longer and he started going out with the boys a little too often. Sam and Bucky liked to have a beer now and then but you’d never known them to keep fratboy hours. You couldn’t disprove Steve’s plans but you also couldn’t be certain of them. You guessed he was cheating but you didn’t need the excuse to get out. You were already done.

So you went to Stark and Fury and discussed your departure. They agreed not to tell Steve while you figured things out. Then you went to a lawyer and drew up the papers. You didn’t want anything, just out. And, you suspected, Steve didn’t want you anymore either. 

You waited until you got a position as head of security at a government office downtown. Well-paying and respectable. Fury’s referral had gone a long way. A desk job was a dream after years of fieldwork. It was all going to be different and you were finally ready for the change.

Steve was due home from his latest mission at four. It was already seven and the boxes had already been packed up and taken to your new condo. You would let him keep the furniture. Still, the house looked empty… well, it had for a while now.

You paced across the front room for another hour and at last you heard his car. A month ago, you’d be ready to tear into him. Ready to rant and rave until your head hurt. Not anymore. You had no energy left for this relationship.

He came in quietly. He stopped short as he entered the living room. He looked around and sighed. His hands went to his hips. The Captain stance. His eyes turned deadly as he looked at you. You quit your pacing and crossed to the coffee table. You took the large envelope and went to him. You held it out.

“Everything is yours,” You said as he stared at the envelope. “Clean break. I don’t want anything. Just out.”

“What?” He brushed past the envelope and walked the perimeter of the room. “You can’t be serious.”

“Steve, you know this isn’t working.” You followed him. “We’re both miserable.”

“No, you’re miserable,” He turned on you. “I’ve only been trying to help you and you just sit there and sulk. And now you’re-- you’re trying to divorce me.”

“I am divorcing you,” You pushed the envelope to his chest. “This doesn’t have to be difficult.”

“You made a vow--”

“Jesus, Steve, this isn’t 1366,” You huffed. “I can’t live like this anymore. I won’t.”

He was silent as his jaw ticked. He backed away and crossed his arms.

“You know I still love you right,” He said quietly.

“And? Love can’t fix whatever this is,” You insisted. “Steve, come on, this doesn’t have to be difficult. You sign and it’s done. Take it to a lawyer, you’ll see it’s a good break. You get the house, the furniture, everything. We leave with what we came with; you get more than that.”

He spun back. He had the grace to look hurt.

“Think about this, please,” He pleaded, “You don’t want to do this.”

“Steve, you won’t talk to me, you won’t listen to me, what is there left to think about?” You asked. “It’s done. We’re done. You think I haven’t been thinking about this for months?”

He nodded and his jaw squared. His brows drew together and he tilted his head as he stared at the envelope in your hand.

“Fine,” He conceded. “I’ll take it to my lawyer…”

“I’m sorry, Steve,” You tried to near him and he turned his back on you again. You set it on the coffee table instead. “It’s just here, okay?”

“If you were sorry, you would try,” He growled. “Oh, and let me tell you, this will not be easy.” He peered over his shoulder, “I’ll make sure of that.”

The anger in his voice startled you. You swallowed and backed away from the table. You took your purse and your jacket in the deathly lull that followed. Steve didn’t move as he stared at the artificial fireplace.

“Goodbye, Steve,” You said as you hovered in the doorway.

“Get out,” He sneered. “Trust me, this isn’t goodbye.”

💍

Your last day at Stark Tower was the same day you served Steve the papers. You had planned it so delicately but you knew now he would not go along with it. Not peacefully. You spent your weekend unpacking and on Monday began your new position in the city. 

You were only a block away from the Tower but you avoided the area. Tony and Fury promised not to tell Steve where you were working. You suspected that wouldn’t go well for them but you trusted them. They’d faced much worse than a bitter Steve Rogers.

Coming home to your new place was no different than before. What was different was that you could breath. There was no oppressive shadow hovering over you. You opened a bottle of wine and turned on the series that Steve always complained was too vapid. He couldn’t say anything now. He could sit and watch his dry war documentaries as he preened over any mention of himself. He sure was up his own ass.

You fell asleep on the couch. You woke and repeated the same day. It all became routine and you slipped easily into the single life. Single and unwilling to mingle. 

Woven into your newly found serenity, was a thread of insecurity. Steve’s promise echoed in your head as you closed your eyes at night. “This will not be easy”. You found yourself staring at your phone as you waited for the call from your lawyer. It didn’t come for a whole month. Steve wanted a deposition. It was to be scheduled for the next week.

You set your phone down and sighed. Of course. You knew it. He wanted to be messy and surely he knew the extra lawyer fees wouldn’t make this any easier. You couldn’t fathom, however, what else he could want from you. Your settlement had swayed heavily in his favour. Well, you could guess he wanted the final word. A final victory.

Captain America never failed.

You’d have to book the day off and only a month into the job. You were sure they’d understand. Your superiors were few and your team was competent. It only annoyed you how even now, Steve could get in the way of your work.

Well, better to get it done and over with. Maybe when it was all signed and sealed, you could leave New York. It would be terribly difficult to find another job and the city had grown dull. These were his streets, his people. You would just be the woman who walked out on the first Avenger.

💍

You sat in the stiff plastic chair and stared through the clear glass wall of the deposition room. The court reporter was within, readying for the meeting. Your lawyer, Donald Calliers, was beside you and tried to calm you down with assurances that it was nothing more than a formality. There was no reason for this to go beyond a single day and he didn’t suspect much would change in the settlement.

Steve arrived ten minutes before the meeting was to begin. You peeked at him, hoping he wouldn’t catch you. He had grown out his beard and his hair was getting long. He looked very much unlike the man you’d married, albeit he was well-kempt and put together for the occasion. He was accompanied by three lawyers. That made your stomach drop.

“Three lawyers?” You whispered to Donald. “Is that bad?”

“It’s a show. Trust me. I run depositions in my sleep. No one needs that amount of representation at these things. Quality over quantity.” He said under his breath.

“I hope your right,” You replied. “I don’t think I can afford three of you.”

“Good thing there’s only one of me,” He kidded. “One of a kind.”

You forced a small laugh and tried not to fidget. You had barely been able to keep still before Steve showed up, and now you felt as if your entire body was shaking. You could feel his eyes on you and hear his own low whispers to his lawyers.

The door opened and saved you from sinking into doubt. Steve and his team stood and waited for you to enter first. You sat on the far side of the table and they took the seats across from you. The court reporter took the chair at the head of the table and cleared his throat. He swore each of you in and signalled the beginning of the deposition. Steve’s lawyers allowed no delay.

“Mrs. Rogers,” The tall blonde woman with the square jaw, Ms. Lauer, began.  “We’ll start with your monthly expenses.”

Donald shuffled through his folder and slid over the copies of your statements. The lawyers read over them and nodded as they made notes.

“And on average, thinking of only you, how often do you travel throughout the year for pleasure?” Another lawyer asked. This one a bald man called Mr. Harin.

“Once, maybe. I tend to work more than I vacation,” You answered.

“And how often do you dine out?” The third asked; Mr. Pollard.

“Couple times a month, maybe,” You avoided Steve’s gaze as it never wavered. He seemed not to even hear the questions or your answers.

“And your debt? You have any credit card debt? And outstanding loans owing?”

“I have a card I am currently paying off but it’s only a couple hundred owing,” You replied evenly. This was ridiculous. Was he really going to try to fleece you? He still made more than you did.

“And you cited irreconcilable differences on your papers,” Harin said. “We would ask what exactly these differences are?”

You looked at Steve and the angles of his face hardened.

“It’s not much of a marriage when you never see each other and when you do, you don’t talk,” You said. “And when you do communicate, it is nothing short of hostile.”

“Oh, and would you classify this hostility as abuse?” Pollard asked.

“No, not really,” You answered. “Just unhealthy and unbearable.”

“So you would file on the grounds of irretrievable breakdown but as our client would state, any such breakdown has not been evident for the required period.” Harin intoned. “In fact, he say you’ve surprised him with such a claim and you would cite no other valid grounds for the divorce.”

“Our marriage has been little more than a shell for the last year,” You said. “As I’ve been informed, it is only six months required to make a claim.”

“But you never made such a claim to your husband, thus how could he recognize and try to reconcile these differences?” Lauer prodded.

“I did. I have a statement from a counselour that confirms that were seeking help nine months ago,” You insisted. 

“We have seen that but you did not attend further after that instance.” Harin argued.

“And… he wouldn’t go,” You accused. “He wouldn’t try any sort of reconciliation.”

“And do you have proof of his refusal?” Lauer asked.

You looked to Donald who shifted in his chair. “It is not required to have proof of this claim,” He said. “She did recognize that the relationship was declining and she made a visible effort to amend that.”

“Once in two years,” Harin countered. “And she would not claim abuse or inhumane cruelty and we’ve heard no mention of adultery.”

“It does not invalidate her claims of irreconcilable differences. You might refer to their schedules and the amount of time they spent apart.” Donald retorted.

“Occupational absence does not account for personal neglect,” Pollard said.

“So…” You looked along the line of lawyers.

“This settlement you’ve offered is completely invalid. There are no grounds for it.” Lauer stated.

“But...but…”

“We cannot allow our client to sign these papers knowing them to be of such questionable validity thus we ask that you withdraw the claim.” Pollard declared. “We have faith that your lawyer is competent enough to agree with us.”

Donald frowned and turned to you. You spun your chair around as he leaned over and whispered quietly. “They’re right.”

“But they can’t disprove my claims,” You hissed.

“Sure but that’s not their job. If we went before a judge, we’d be overruled easily.” He explained. “You’ll have to sign a separation first and wait a year. If it was uncontested, sure, I’d have you out by the end of the week but he’s putting up a fight.”

“A year?” You shook your head.

“Separated. You just have to live apart for a year. No contact required but you have to maintain residency in the state.” 

“Really?”

“We can probably get it signed today, I’m sure,” Donald assured. “It’s the best we can hope for.”

“Fine. If it’s a means to and end.”

You turned back and Donald reached for his briefcase and shuffled around.

“My client proposes that instead of the settlement, that an order of separation might be more appropriate for the circumstance.” Donald said. “Would your client agree?”

Steve looked to Harin and gave a single nod. He wasn’t happy.

“Alright, we’ll have it drawn up and faxed over to your offices to be signed by the end of the week.” Donald said. “Is that agreeable?”

“It is,” Lauer accepted. “In the meantime, we would ask that your client prepares a full statement of her expenses over the next year and we would also require a report of her personal activities within the last year of her marriage.”

“Personal activities?” You said.

“Our client has his own accounted for. We only wish to cover our bases.”

You shrugged and Donald agreed to it. You couldn’t look at Steve. You knew what he was implying. He thought you were unfaithful or was at least petty enough to raise the accusation.

“Are we done here?” You whispered.

💍

Another month and even more wine. Your days had grown endless. When you were at work, you could forget about your legal connection to the asshole who chose to make your nights a living hell. Ever since your failed deposition, he had broken his silence.

It started with a text. Sweet, even. ‘I miss you, we should think this through.’ That was until the separation was finalized. Then they turned nasty; ‘you won’t get away that easily’; ‘we’ll see if you last a year’. Then you changed your number and deleted his. 

That was when it all caught up to you. Your marriage had failed, you’d had to flip your entire life because of him, and now you were all alone in a condo that was way too big for just you. And you couldn’t leave the state until this was all over.

You were awoken one night by the chiming of your phone. You could still the acrid wine on your tongue as you reached for it. A video call? You answered in your sleepy haze and were stunned by the image that met you. The loud slapping that rose from the speakers and the low purr of some unknown woman. Her wavy auburn hair spilled over her shoulders as her round ass clapped against a pelvis. You recognized the hand that gripped her hip.

“This should be you,” Steve said from behind the camera. “Fuck, I wish it was.”

You hung up and fumbled with the phone. It fell onto the floor as you sat up. You turned on the lamp and pressed your palms to the side of your head. What the fuck was that? You let out a grunt of frustration as you heard the phone ringing again. You picked it up and declined the call. You couldn’t block the private number.

You silenced your phone and shoved it in your dresser. You went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. You felt sick to your stomach. You knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep. Not after that. So you went to the couch and turned on Netflix. It would be a long day at work.

💍

You slept for about an hour before your alarm blared from the other room. You stumbled off the couch to slap the clock and retrieved your phone from the drawer. You gather your clothes for the day and made your coffee. You sat with the steaming mug and unlocked your phone. He’d sent a video. It played automatically. It showed him coming down the woman’s thigh. You deleted it and grumbled at your coffee. 

What the fuck was wrong with him?

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and forced yourself to get dressed. If he called again, you wouldn’t answer. You’d have to change your number; again.

The office was quiet. Thankfully. You had another coffee as you went over logistics and kept an eye on the screen mounted in the corner that showed you every camera in the building. You liked having the view. An alert went up for the bank down the street and you keyed in the response measures. It was a faulty trip.

You looked back to the cameras and your chair almost rolled out from under you. It couldn’t be. You got up and walked to the screen. Steve was just down the hall by the receptionist's desk. Several of your employees were gathered around him. You could hear their voices through your door.

“Fuck,” You swore and thought of locking your office. 

You slipped out into the hall and sneaked down to the bathroom instead. You listened against the door as fragments floated through the air. ‘THE Captain America?’ ‘So honoured to meet you’...

You waited twenty minutes before it all died down. The silence that followed was eerie and you slowly cracked open the door to peer down at your office. You didn’t see anyone. You let out a long breath and stepped out. You tiptoed along and peered down towards the receptionist. All had gone back to their work but chattered here and there about their visitor.

You opened your office door and he was there. He sat in your chair as he swung the seat back and forth. He smirked at you. You blinked and let the door fall closed behind you.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“Just wanted to see the new gig,” He said. “Must be boring pent up in here all day.”

“Not at all,” You crossed your arms. “Steve, leave.”

“Come on, don’t you miss it?” He ignored you. “You remember how it used to be in the field? You remember when I fucked you on the jet? Or maybe at that little party where we were supposed to be posing as arms dealers. Tight space but we made it work.”

“What is wrong with you?” You marched over to your desk and leaned on it as you glared at him. “You need to go. Now. This is my job.”

“Wouldn’t mind having a go here,” He put his foot up on your desk and crossed his other leg over. “Bend you over. You think you could keep quiet?”

“Steve.” You hissed. “I mean it, go. I work in security. Don’t make me call them.”

“I’m sure they’re all too eager to escort me out,” He taunted. “You really think they would? After I signed their mugs and ridiculous posters.”

“I’ll call the police then,” You said.

“False reports can get you a hefty fine, even some time,” He leaned back in your chair. “Unless you truly think they’ll listen to you?”

“Why are you doing this?” You asked.

“Because you still think you’re going to get away,” He said. “And I assure you that last night was just a taste of what I have planned for you.”

“Steve…”

“Steve,” He mimicked breathily, “’Oh, Steve, harder, harder’… I miss that.”

“Well, I don’t,” You sneered. “Last night was disgusting. You are disgusting.” You stared at him. “What happened to you?”

“What happened to us?” He pulled his feet from the desk and sat up. “You said you would be with me forever. You are my wife.”

“Not for much longer, Steve,” You said. “Stop making this worse for yourself.”

“Oh, I’m having a hell of a time,” He stood slowly. “And let me tell you this, that girl, meant nothing. A toy to me. You… oh, I’ll make sure you have something to remember me by.” He rounded the desk. “I’ll make sure you’re never rid of me.”

You reached around blindly as you turned to him and grabbed your stapler. You hit the release as he got closer and held it up shakily.

“Don’t come near me,” You said. “Go.”

“Or what?” He took another step.

“Steve,” You warned.

“Oh, I just want a little fun. How about--”

He tried to grab you and you lunged at him. You hit the stapler as it met his chest and he barely flinched. You pulled it back and held it by the bottom and swung it again. This time, you smacked him in the shoulder and his jaw ticked.

“You’re getting rusty,” He laughed as he knocked the stapler from your hands. 

“Steve,” You backed away and he stopped suddenly.

He looked you up and down and pulled out his phone. He lifted a brow and tucked it away.

“Damn, looks like I’m already running late,” He sighed. “Tony’s not gonna be too pleased but… I’ll let him know you say hi.” He headed for the door as you watched him in terror. “Oh, and… I did mean it. Til death do us part.”

💍

You didn’t see Steve again. A whole week passed and the only hint of his existence were the texts you didn’t read. Ten and a half months to go. You could do it. He was just playing with you. Trying to change your mind. He would admit defeat as soon as the final paper was signed. He had to.

You got home and uncorked your Friday night wine. You’d been abstaining for a while as you didn’t want to make it a habit but you were so on edge, you needed to just chill. You poured a healthy glass and pulled a throw over your shoulders as you sank into the couch. You really didn’t mind living alone.

You almost finished the bottle and laid back on the sofa. You were cozy in the heat of the wine and the fuzzy blanket. You dozed off as soon as the theme of the next episode stopped playing. You floated in a haze and your eyes opened only as a shadow passed on the other side.

You sat up dizzily and glanced around. You gripped your spinning head as you stood and clumsily walked around your front room. It was likely just the television. You shook your head and told yourself it was nothing. You were drunk and falling asleep in front of a screen often left you restless.

You fell back down onto the couch and leaned into it. You skipped the episode back, suddenly awake. Slowly, the alcohol dragged you down and you began to slump against the cushions. Your head began to loll and you felt a warmth brush over your cheek.

“A place like this must get lonely,” Steve’s voice startled you as his breath tickled your skin.

You tried to jump up and caught you below your arms and pulled you back over the couch. You wrestled with him as your vision wobbled. You flailed and kicked as his arm slipped up and he wrapped it around your neck. He squeezed until a weight settled in your limbs and he slowly lowered you to the floor.

“It’s okay, honey,” He slithered as the void welcomed you. “You won’t be lonely anymore.”

💍

You awoke slowly. Your head was heavy from excess. You knew the place but it wasn’t your condo. You laid in the bed you once shared with Steve. You groaned as you stretched your arm across the mattress. It was just you. You sat up and found Steve watching you.

He stood from the chair near the window and you quickly rolled to the other edge of the bed. He jumped across and caught you before you could take another step. He pulled you back and turned so that you were pinned beneath him. You screamed and he covered your mouth.

“I’ve done a lot since you left. A lot of time to think,” He said. “Soundproofing, renovations, redecorating.”

You mumbled into his palm and he rolled his hips against you. 

“All for you.” He snarled. “I’ve waited too long.”

You tried to peel his hand away from your lips and he only clung tighter.

“I got the nursery done though. It’s nice. I think you’ll like it,” He continued. “The only thing I haven’t done is thought of names.”

You finally pried his hand down to your chin and gasped. “Steve, please…”

“I think this might just be the reconciliation we need,” He said. “Don’t you?”

“No,” You begged. “No, Steve, get off--”

“I don’t think you were meant to be a wife. You were meant to be a mommy,” He nuzzled your head. 

“Steve, stop. Get off of me right now. Or--”

“Or what? Doesn’t look good when the soon-to-be ex-wife breaks into her spouse’s house.” He growled. “Something like that, that could lose you your job and it definitely wouldn’t look could in a deposition.”

“Steve,” You sobbed. “You’re hurting me.”

“You hurt me!” He snapped. “You understand?! You hurt me and you’re not going to take my life from me.” 

He pushed himself off you roughly and grabbed the back of your neck as he pulled you up after him. He turned you to him and gripped your head between his large hands.

“You’ll find someone else. Someone who can give you that life, Steve,” You begged. “It’s just not me.”

“It is you.” He sneered. “Only you.”

“Please, don’t--”

“Shut up,” He shouted. “I’m done talking with you. You never listened to me. Ever.” He shoved you away. “So you’re going to listen now.”

You glanced at the door and he caught your chin and turned you back to him.

“You think you can get out of this room? Think you can get past me?” He challenged.

You stared at him and your heart sank. Fight as you might, you could never beat the Captain. He was always one step ahead; in the field and off.

“Answer me,” He rescinded his hand and slapped you across the cheek. “Now.”

You were stunned by the force of the strike. You stumbled back and tears rose in your eyes.

“St-Steve…” You stammered but his eyes were distant. “No, I can’t.” You admitted weakly. “You know I can’t.”

“Finally talking some sense,” He smirked. “Now, we’ll start easy.”

Your lips parted but you didn’t know what else to say. You hung your head. A silent surrender.

“I didn’t hear you,” He mocked. You looked up at him confused. “That’s a ‘yes, husband’.”

You blinked at him. Your lip trembled as you forced the words out and he shuddered in delight.

“Now, you can undress me first.” He said.

You uttered another ‘yes, husband’ and crossed to him. You lifted his tee and he bent to help you sweep it over his head. His eyes never left you. You shakily undid his jeans and you gulped back a sob. It felt like the first time again, except you were shaking from excitement. This was fear.

When at last you bared him of his briefs, he was hard. He stroked himself without shame and rubbed the tip against your shirt. 

“Your turn,” He said.

You stripped a piece at a time. It was mechanical, instinctual. You didn’t think as you dropped your clothes on the floor. You stood before him entirely vulnerable. Naked. You had loved this man once, but you weren’t sure he had ever loved you. Only wanted what he could get out of you. Be it his pleasure, some reassurance of his insecurities, or the life he’d romanticized for so long.

“Turn around,” He commanded and you obeyed with a ‘yes, husband’. He hummed at that. He pushed on your shoulders until you bent. “Grab your ankles… and stay like that.”

He went to the closet and returned. He held straps you’d never seen before. Your sex had never been bland but he’d never gone beyond the usual. Never wanted toys or lube; just you. He secured your wrists to your ankles. He lifted your chin and looked into your eyes.

“I’m gonna fuck you like never before. For all those times I slept on that goddamn couch,” He pushed his mouth against yours. “I’m done holding back.”

He stood and rounded you. He slapped your ass and you almost fell. He steadied you and pushed your feet apart as far as they could go. You were entirely imbalanced, barely able to keep yourself up. His hands slipped down your thighs and back up and he gripped your hips.

He pressed against you and wiggled his hips as his cock rubbed against your ass. 

“It didn’t have to be like this,” He growled. “You made it this way.”

You shook your head and stayed silent. He was too far gone. Whatever you said would only anger him further.

He reached between you and pushed his cock down to your cunt. He eased into you an inch at a time. Your walls resisted him as you were unprepared for the intrusion. As he got further in, it hurt more and more. You whined and he cursed as he slapped your ass so hard it stung.

“Come on, honey,” He bucked his hips and filled you entirely. You cried out at the pain. “I know you can take it.”

He thrust against and you shook. He rocked his hips until your body reacted. Each delve inside grew easier as your arousal leaked from your core. He kept you moving steadily along his cock as his groans swirled around you. His pelvis clapped against your ass.

“Yeah, yeah, this is what I wanted,” He breathed. “This is what I imagined. Only you…”

He moved you against him as his grunts grew deeper and deeper. Your legs trembled and he held your waist tighter as he slammed you back against him. His thrusts turned slower but sharper. He inched your foot forward with his and then the other. He walked you over to the bed until your faced was pressed to the mattress.

He rutted into you harder. You yelped into the bed and seemed riled from the sound.

“Louder! Louder!” He demanded, speeding up until you cried out again and again. “Oh fuck, honey, I missed us so much.” He kneaded your ass hungrily. “Maybe if you had let me fuck you like this before, you never would’ve made such a stupid mistake.”

He sank into you completely and stopped. He pulled out of you but only to flip you onto the bed. You landed on your back awkwardly and bent your legs as they remained bound to your wrist. He climbed up swiftly and was upon you in a moment. He entered you easily and snaked his arms around your thighs as he caught his rhythm.

You bit your lip as you felt your core swelling. He reached down and pressed his thumb against your clit. You squeaked in surprise and his hips moved faster. You mewled as he swirled around your bud and gritted your teeth against the rise.

“Cum for me,” He said. “I know you can, honey.”

You grunted as you couldn’t help but climax. Your walls pulsed around his cock and you quivered violently. Your muscles ached terribly from how you were tangled beneath him and he sped up once more. He curled your back as he raised himself on his knees and lifted your ass off the bed. You felt as if you fold in on yourself.

“Fuck, fuck, you’re going to look so good…” His hand crawled up and spread over your stomach. “With my baby inside of you.”

You closed your eyes and turned your head away.

“Here it comes, honey,” He rasped. “I’m gonna cum… I’m gonna fill you up.”

He exclaimed and you felt his release as it seeped into you. His hips moved spasmodically against you as he slowly lowered your ass and leaned back on his heels as he stilled. He let out a deep snarl and squeezed your thigh.

“Mmmm, I can’t wait…”” He hummed and rubbed your stomach. “I can’t wait to see you grow.”

[bigcherry]

Priorities

A/N: I debated on giving this a happy ending, but all you’re getting is pain! Surprise!

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Jealousy & heavy angst

“. . . Everything okay?” Your eyebrows drew together to shoot a look of concern towards your girlfriend.

Jill raised her head from her desk, giving you a curt smile before promptly hanging her head low and going back to work. Her hands feverishly wrote down big, bold letters; black ink seeping through the thin paper layers as she continued to press through with each word. Sighing, you place a hand on her shoulder.

“Let’s take a break, Valentine. We’ve been at this for hours now and I know you stayed late last night when I went home,” Jill’s half-lidded eyes gave you a small glance. “I’ll buy you lunch?” You added, a pleading tone now lacing your words as you hoped that you had won her over. Jill’s steely gaze met yours, shaking her head lightly as she continued to thumb over the manila file in her hands. 

Barry gave you a worried glance and scratched the back of his head. Chris shrugged his shoulders as he made his way to you. “Is that lunch offer still valid? I’m starving.” He shot you a lopsided smile. You were thankful to have a best friend like him. Giving Jill a small kiss on the cheek, you told her you would be out with Chris for a little bit. When she didn’t respond or nod her head, you rolled your eyes as you grabbed your coat from its hook. Opening the door for you, Chris quietly shuffled behind, watching as you stormed out of the bullpen. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he listens to you intently on the walk to your favorite pizza place near the station.

______________________________

“She’s just becoming so distant lately!” You threw your arms up in frustration, garnering the attention of everyone within the outdoor section of the restaurant. Wincing, you withdrew your hands to your side as took your seat across from Chris.

“Y/N, come on now. You know Jill wouldn’t do that to you. She loves you.” Chris reasons, leaning his head on the back of his knuckles. Scoffing, you couldn’t help but disagree.

“It certainly doesn’t feel like it,” You crossed your arms, pressing your lips to a thin line. He stirred circles with his straw, making the ice in his cup clink against the walls. “She’s coming home late, throwing herself into work, and on top of that, she’s not even talking to me.” A lump in your throat grew ever so present as you dug your fingers into your scalp. Chris reaches out to rub your back. A solemn look crosses his features.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ll find a way to get her off work. The amount of overtime she’s put in can’t be good for her health. Albeit a low blow, but Chief Irons has been looking for an excuse to get Jill off this cold case. I can probably get her a few days off if I take it over. But from there, it’s all up to you.” Chris wiggles his eyebrows, attempting to comfort you. The sudden beam of your smile made him chuckle.

“You’re the best.” You hugged him tightly.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Chris huffed in your grasp.

When the waiter came by with your orders, you noticed that Chris’s order was substantially bigger; plates of food settled down on the table with a resounding thud, forming an arc around him. You’ve never even seen some of these items on the menu before. As your eyes grew wider and wider, Chris threw his hands up in self-defense.

“What? I’m a growing boy!” He tucked a napkin into the collar of his shirt. Giving him a slight jab to his shoulder, you shook your head. “You said you were paying. Can’t go back on your word!”

Both of you continued to go back and forth with one another, bickering between bites as your lunch hour flew by.

______________________________

The rest of your workday went as usual: filing your team’s most recent mission into the database, talking to Chris and Barry about who’s better at guitar, and wrapping up with cleaning some weapons in the arsenal. At five o’clock, it was time to finally clock out for the day. You made your way to the locker rooms, quickly changing out of your S.T.A.R.S uniform and donning on your civilian clothing. Going back to the office, you saw Chief Irons talking to both Chris and Jill. By the looks of it, Chris’s plan seemed to be going well.

Jill’s face broke into an exasperated expression as Chief Irons gave her an ultimatum that she didn’t seem to like. Leaving no room to argue, the Chief left without a word, waddling away from her as fast as he could. When he met your gaze in the hallway, you gave him a short salute and watched as Jill harshly pushed past Chris and stomp back into the office. You ran up to the brunette, shaking his shoulders as you demanded to know what happened. 

“Guess which Redfield just got your girlfriend a paid vacation for three days? Hint: it’s not my sister.” He flashed his pearly whites, a crooked smile appearing. You gave Chris another hug, wrapping your arms around his ribs in a crushing hold. He wheezed for you to get off of him as he gently shrugged you away.

“She’s really not happy right now, so I’d tread carefully. But hey, with paid vacation days, she shouldn’t be complaining.”

“I hope you know I’m treating you to the biggest feast when this is over. And paying for every morning’s visit to Moon’s.” He gave a light laugh as he waved you away. “I know, I know. Just focus on Jill for now. Time’s ticking, y’know.” And with that, you gave him one final hug and bid him goodbye as you entered the office.

The atmosphere was tense, with Jill shoving files into random cabinets, letting out small huffs as papers crinkled with ease. You watched intently as she tore down the bulletin board full of red thread and clipped newspaper articles, making everyone in the room flinch with every wad thrown on the ground. Gently tapping her shoulder, you tried to get her to calm down, but to your surprise, she didn’t even lookup. The surrounding officers, even Wesker, shrunk in their seats, some of them going as far as to leave the room entirely. You wrapped your hand around Jill’s arm, your eyes pleading for her to stop. She broke her arm free of your grasp, her face reddening by the second. 

“This is your fault,” The brunette says, pointing her finger towards you with vigor. “I finally got somewhere in this cold case, only for Chris to take it away from me. I can’t believe you.”

Your eyes widened. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, attempting to not let your emotions get the better of you.

Jill all but rolled her eyes, not hesitating to give you a counter. “You spend all your time with him now, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was your boyfriend.” She says bitterly, her tone of voice becoming colder and colder.” You give her a crazed look, opening your mouth in awe. 

“Do you think I’d really cheat on you? We’re just friends! How could you not trust me?” The distance between both of you grew by the moment. Jill scoffs at your statement, packing her things in her bag hastily.

“It’s like you don’t even try to hide the fact that you like him. Touching his arms, flirting with him, and now I’m hearing rumors of you two going out on a pizza date today? And that hug outside the office? Don’t think you’re slick, I know what I saw.” Jill’s words become laced with anger. At this point, you couldn’t take it anymore. In a matter of moments, you snapped.

“I went out with Chris today to talk about you. I even told you that we were getting lunch, but you completely forgot didn’t you? God, it’s becoming so infuriating to talk to you nowadays, when all you do is ignore me for a case that doesn’t even matter. Do you know how much that hurts? To get ignored by the one person I thought would be there for me?” A lump rises in your throat, your voice reducing to a gargled croak. Jill’s expression shifts from rage to regret in seconds.

“I just wanted some days off for the both of us to rest, but it’s becoming incredibly clear to me now that you’d rather stay anywhere away from me.” Your hands balled up into fists as you continued. Your throat became dry as you found it difficult to voice your thoughts without crying in front of your co-workers.

“Y/N, I-I—” Jill attempted to stammer out an apology, however, you weren’t having it.

“I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want to be in your way anymore,” You start, tears now streaming down your face as you go to deliver your final blow. “For once, I just want to be someone’s first priority. Not someone you toy with when you feel like it.”

Jill is rendered speechless as she watches you quietly pack your things and leave the bullpen. The entire office becomes silent, not a word spoken between anyone. In a few minutes, every officer wordlessly leaves, giving Jill a look of sympathy as they awkwardly walk out of the tense situation. Jill sits stunned in her seat, her head in her hands.

When Jill finally went home, there was a small part of her that hoped you were there. Instead, she was met with nothing. Your dishes lay barren in the sink, lonely and forgotten. The apartment was filled with an empty silence that made Jill’s blood run cold. As she collapsed in her bed, she laid on her side, gripping the side of the bed that would usually hold her favorite person. Taking a deep breath, the tears came freely this time, filling the silence you left. 

[imjeralee]

Wallflower: Chapter 10 - #raihansprincess, Part II

Raihan x F!Reader

Disclaimer: Do not own Pokemon

Note: This is my first Pokemon fanfic. I hope you enjoy it :) Originally posted on Archive of Our Own.

Summary: You’re an unassuming Pokemon breeder who works at the nursery in the Wild Area and he’s Raihan, the fearsome gym leader of Hammerlocke who has more than a million followers. You don’t want anything to do with him but he’s…persistent.

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Warnings: Lemon, smut, violence, language

#raihansprincess, PART II

...

...

It takes a while to leave the Glimwood Tangle because the Shiinotic had taken your brother deep within the depths of the forest, but once you find the exit, you see Opal seated down on a toadstool with a Drifloon and a Galarian Ponyta which you believe is Sugarplum, Glenn's remaining missing pokemon. Once she spots your group emerging, you head over to her side at once and Glenn happily reunites with Sugar. Drifloon floats over to you and you're surprised to see he has left the house but it looks like he wanted to make sure you were okay. Opal informs you that they didn't get very far because her hip was acting up and later they came across a lost Leon who had separated from Allister. Sonia then went with Leon and Opal returned to the entrance, and now the duo are somewhere inside the forest.

However, Sonia's phone is faring better than the rest of you lot because she's been able to send messages and photos to Opal, detailing the progress of their investigation. They've discovered the source of the mysterious white light - it's coming from mushrooms that had been dug up. Previously, and they were supposed to be glowing a bright, neon-red hue and now they've lost their colour and the Pokemon who lived in these mushrooms now have nowhere to go. These dying mushrooms have been found in large quantities all over the forest.

"It must be that douchebag." Glenn says, frowning somewhat. You have an inkling that Glenn is talking about the guy you and Raihan met earlier. Glenn adds, "I think his name started with an 'E'."

"Eli, perhaps?" Raihan utters, and Glenn nods wildly. "You mentioned he was digging up wishing stars?"

"Yeah."

You and Raihan exchange glances whilst Opal sighs under her breath. "I can speak to Chairman Rose about this. Don't you worry about a thing, my dears." She assures you. "I'll wait here for Leon and Sonia, too."

"...Me too." Allister mutters. "....I guess this is goodbye."

"Thanks for your help, Allister." Raihan says, grinning.

"....Thanks for allowing me to go with you." The gym leader replies shyly, throwing his glance to the ground.

"No problem."

Turning to Phantump, you see him staring intently at the gym leader so you smile and Phantump trills loudly. "Would you like to stay with Allister?" And Phantump nods and floats towards the boy who gazes at it intently, before he looks up at you. "Allister, do you mind looking after Phantump for me?"

He blinks. "....Huh?"

"I think Phantump would be happier if he stayed with you, so....please look after him."

Allister nods. "Okay."

"Thank you."

"......You're welcome."

Phantump returns to you and gently pecks you on the cheek; you can feel the roughness of the wood rubbing against your skin and you hug him tightly whilst he clings to you. In fact, tears begin forming in your eyes when Phantump floats over to Allister and settles on top of his head. "Take care, Phantump. Don't worry, we'll find your family, and we'll find out what happened to you."

Allister nods in agreement. "....I'll do everything I can."

"Thanks, Allister."

”Wait....Your Drifloon has something to say to you.”

”What?”

”It wants to say... ‘I’m sorry’.”

”Huh?” Turning to the balloon Pokemon, you say, “Aww, it’s okay, Driffie.”

With that, you leave Phantump under the care of the Stow-on-Side gym leader; it's great that Allister understands ghost pokemon and no doubt, he will look after Phantump with utmost care. After saying further farewells, Allister takes a seat beside Opal and Drifloon and Phantump exchange a few trills and wheezes and you believe they’re having a conversation.

Once that’s done, you leave with Raihan, Glenn and Drifloon. You throw a few concerned glances over your shoulder now and then. The entire time, Phantump waves. He is watching you, a little sadly, and you wonder if you'd done the right thing.

"Cheer up, sis." Glenn says, "You can always visit the little guy and he can always return to you whenever he wants."

You nod. "...I know."

"I'm sorry about the pokemon battle. I can only remember parts of it and the rest of it is hazy. It was seriously the most trippy thing ever though - it was like I was kinda conscious and dreaming at the same time. So strange...but Shiinotic didn't mean to harm anyone, it was scared."

You sigh audibly under your breath. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"Yep, me too. Well, it's been grand, but I should really head to Johto now. Mum must be worried to death about me."

"Aren't you tired? We could tell mum you're fine and you could stay for the rest of the night."

"Nah, it's okay, I've been gone for too long and I'm not tired either; I should go asap."

"What about your pokemon?"

"We're good, don't worry about us."

"Oh, alright."

Glenn turns his attention to Raihan next. "Hey Raihan, I got a lot of questions, like how you met my sis and stuff - but I know she's in good hands. So, please look after her in my absence."

"I will." Raihan replies, grinning.

"Good man." Glenn says, patting the gym leader on the shoulder. Your brother is not as tall as Raihan; it's kind of comedic seeing him trying to reach him properly. On the other hand, you're also extremely glad that Glenn has taken a liking to Raihan so quickly.

"Perhaps we'll battle one day." Raihan suggests, and Glenn nods. "Before you go, mind if we take a selfie?"

"Sure!" Glenn exclaims, and your brother takes a quick snapshot with the dragon tamer. You're relieved to see that your brother and Raihan are getting along.

"And here's my League card." Raihan adds, digging into his pockets and brandishing a small card which Glenn accepts.

"Interesting pose." Your brother comments as he places it into his bag carefully.

"Ah, yeah."

"Well, I'm off!" Glenn yells; you watch somewhat despondently as Rotom, with what little strength he has left, calls the Corviknight taxi for your brother and when it arrives, you say your goodbyes again and he's gone.

It's just you and Raihan. What now?

Much to your embarrassment, your stomach grumbles ferociously and you're pretty sure Raihan heard. Ah yeah, you never had your lunch... Clutching your tummy, Raihan chuckles and says, "Wanna grab something to eat?"

You nod. "Can we order takeout?"

"Sure. What do you wanna eat?"

"Hmm..."

In the end, you decide to order takeout from Bob's Your Uncle; you've not had a Bob's Burger for a while so upon accessing their website, you check out the menu and you both agree to buy something to share considering their portion sizes can be pretty big. With the order placed, you go to the pokemon centre to heal your pokemon team first.

Inside, Drifloon clings to you as Nurse Joy heals up your pokemon whilst Raihan attracts some unnecessary attention - you watch as he's quickly surrounded by a bunch of young women and you can't help but feel slightly out of place as he smiles and waves at them all and then looks at your direction and your gazes meet. You can only give him an awkward smile in return and a thumbs up; as he dishes out autographs and takes pictures with the fans, you head over to the PC and deposit Whimsicott, Starmie and Togekiss into a box, then look at the icons of your Haxorus and Salamence. To reduce the number of dragon Pokemon in your team, you were reluctant to use them in battle but you believe it's time to take them out now. Adding them to your party, you wonder if Raihan has an Axew or Bagon yet. It would be a nice surprise...

When you're finished, Raihan also departs from his fans. They all stare when Raihan makes his way towards you and you know they're wondering who you are and who you might be to the dragon tamer - you're too afraid to hold Raihan's hand or do anything else with him in public so you quickly leave with him by your side. What is this feeling? It's so strange...

Once you're home, your house pokemon greet you and Raihan spots Goomy and Dreepy; he greets them happily and you can't help but smile. Meanwhile, Drifloon floats off to the window, obviously upset with Phantump’s departure. You hope he will cheer up soon.

According to the app, your takeout will arrive in half an hour and this is Raihan's second time in your house albeit he has more time to look around your home; however, you and Raihan also have some time to finally be alone together. You get the idea he's thinking the same because you're in the kitchen fixing some drinks for the both of you when you hear him approaching from behind. Before you can turn round, he slips his arms around your shoulders and pulls you into his chest.

"Hey..." He murmurs, leaning down to nuzzle the side of your head before he begins nipping on the shell of your ear affectionately.

You smile, closing your eyes and placing your hands over his as he kisses your temple. "What's up?"

"How’re you feeling?"

"I'm okay." You mutter; when he stops kissing you, you manage to turn to face him and your eyes meet. "It's been a crazy day."

"It's never a dull moment with you." He utters; you briefly recall yourself thinking the same a while ago.

"Yeah, gotta admit...we've had quite a lot of adventures recently." You add, and Raihan chuckles. "Thanks for being there for me."

He grins. "Anything for you, princess." Leaning forwards, he pecks you on the lips briefly and when you break apart, your gazes linger before he closes the gap between you once more and your lips meet. You let out a soft moan from the back of your throat as he steals your breath away and he releases you so you can face him properly; Raihan scoops you in his arms and lifts you up to sit on one of your kitchen counters.

With your adjusted height, you cup his jaw as he leans forwards again, your lips pressing together gently. Your eyelids flutter to a close as you relish the feel of his mouth over yours, kissing you heatedly. He ensures every inch of your lips are pressed and nibbled on, which makes you giggle when you both break apart for some air; your eyes meet for a split second before he swoops on you again - you slip your arms around his neck and moan helplessly against him, melting thoroughly into his embrace as he ravishes you with his mouth.

He holds you tight with his arms wrapped around you securely, your chest firmly pressed against his. “Bedroom?” He suggests.

”Bedroom.” You reply, nodding.

...

A week later.

It's been a while since Raihan has been summoned to see the Chairman at Rose Tower; it's normally not for a good reason, that's for sure. Raihan exits the elevator and he passes a few Macro Cosmos employees who greet him politely. He greets them back with a smile as he jovially makes his way over, passing some Magnezone and Durants with their trainers. Once he's at Rose's penthouse, the door whooshes open for him and he sees Rose standing at the floor-to-ceiling window, looking outside whilst Oleana bows her head.

"Good afternoon, Mr Raihan. Thank you for coming, would you like a drink?" Oleana enquires, holding up a bottle of red wine in her arms.

"No thanks, Oleana."

"Very well." The secretary mutters as she returns the wine bottle over the table, her expression blank yet stoic, "Please, have a seat."

She gestures to the large, black leather sofa beside Rose's desk and he plops himself down; Rose's penthouse is beautiful with modern furnishings and top-notch interior design. Before he can marvel his surroundings any longer however, the Chairman turns round abruptly and begins strolling towards them. "Hello, Raihan."

"Hey, Chairman Rose."

"Do you know why I've asked to see you today?"

"Nope."

"Here, take a look at this." Chairman Rose mutters, taking the seat opposite him and reaching for the wine bottle and empty glass on the coffee table in front of them; he promptly pours himself a glass. "Oleana, show him."

"Yes, sir." Oleana wordlessly strides over to the gym leader and hands Raihan her tablet before returning to Rose's side, hands clasped together as she stands. Raihan looks at the screen where a website called 'THE GROOKEY TRUTH' shows several articles ranging from 'Watch now: Hiker's Escape Rope Epic Fail' and 'Is the World Coming to an End?' to an article that says:

"Dating rumours of Hammerlocke's beloved gym leader has been circulating online once more. The rumours began when a photo uploaded by the Chatot Daily Times that showed the dragon tamer with an unidentified female was quickly and quietly taken down. Fans have quickly come to address this mysterious girl as ‘Raihan’s princess’. Just recently, another photo of Raihan with the same girl has been uploaded on Froakit, the front page of the internet.

While some fans have shown willingness to be supportive if the rumours turn out to be true, other fans have been angry and are demanding an explanation. The netizen who uploaded the photo claimed that the duo looked quite close. T he dragon tamer has recently suffered a string of losses to gym challengers hence fans are concerned that he is taking his responsibilities less seriously due to the distraction."

"This article was published this morning. It really isn't my business who you're dating, Raihan," Rose mutters, swirling the wine inside his glass gently using his hand, "But this isn’t the first time and you need to understand that you're endorsed by the League and through your contract with us, you've received many sponsorships. Therefore, anything negative that could harm your reputation could affect us all too. I don't know how else to put this but...I'll use Leon as a prime example here; as Champion, he cannot afford to let anyone down. He has a wonderful, altruistic personality and most importantly, a sense of responsibility. He has many fans - young, old, male, female - and he's very aware of how he should act in public and how others would perceive him so he's very careful, even if it means he has to grin and bear with the crippling pressure that he faces everyday. So we've decided - to avoid backlash, we're going to deny these rumours and mention that we'll take legal action against those who spread false misinformation."

"Wait." Raihan glances at the tablet again, then gazes at Rose, "No, I can deal with this. I want to confirm the rumours."

...

Meanwhile.

In the department store, you look at the price tags of the sets in your hands and ponder to yourself; hm, which one would Raihan prefer? In one hand, you're holding a lacy red bra and panty set and the other is a sleek, satin black. They're both the same price. You cannot decide which one to buy for the life of you so you dump both into your basket and move on, until a white bra set catches your eye and you grab that too, just in case.

Here you are, buying sexy lingerie to wear for the next time you and Raihan are in bed. You can't help but blush as you contemplate that to yourself, clutching your basket tightly in hand. Now that you're with Raihan, things have become more exciting and fulfilling than ever before: you also want to focus on yourself so you've decided to do some shopping in Wyndon. Along the way, you want to buy Raihan a nice gift so you get him a poketoy bundle that is exclusive for dragon pokemon. It's been a while since you went shopping - especially for yourself - but recently you really want to spoil yourself so you've also purchased a half-day spa package. Pricey as hell, but hopefully worth it when you come out of it as a completely refreshed woman (or so you hope).

You've asked your friend to go and she mentions to you that she can make herself free as long as you tell her what day you want to in advance, so you both spent oodles of time going over the calendar and when you agree on a date, you book the package and she requests a day off work. You're meeting her in the cafe before you hit the spa so that's when you'll break the news to her - you will tell her that you're seeing Raihan and you will also ask her if she wants to go on a date with Leon. You wonder how she'll react. After you buy your lingerie and stuff it into an eco-friendly bag, you make your way to the cafe where you see her waiting for you in the corner.

"Hey." She waves for you and you grin and head over.

"Hey! I'm so glad you're here; I feel like I haven't seen you forever!" You gush.

"I know.”

"I miss you so much!”

"Me too!" She exclaims. You both exchange a hug; you feel she's in a better mood compared to the last time you saw her as she grabs her purse, ready to leave her seat. "So, what do you wanna drink?"

"I'll treat you."

"But you treated me last time."

"It's fine, it's on me. What do you want? Black coffee, no sugar?"

"Ehh, I actually kinda want their Milcery mint mocha for a change. They have millefeuille today too."

"Right, got it." You put down your bags and head to the counter where you order the drinks and your food. The cafe is slightly busy today but fortunately the wait is not too long. Once it's ready, you grab the tray with the hot drinks - you got the mocha and fluffy layered cake, and you've ordered an affogato and Swirlix tiramisu - and because you want to spoil yourself, you buy a red velvet cupcake too - and you return to the table, balancing the full tray in your hands.

"Mm, looks yummy." She says, "Thanks."

"No problem. Thanks for being able to come out today." You help her lift the mocha off the tray and nudge it near her side on the table whilst you do the same for your drink and cake.

She sighs, grabbing the napkin and unfolding it. "I need a break, so all good."

"How's work?"

"Shite," She moans, "It's absolute shite."

You purse your lips. "Is it not getting better?"

"It's not really getting better or anything, but I just feel like my soul is slowly being sucked out of my body."

"You're doing something you don't enjoy, that's why."

"Yeah, I think so too. Even though the pay's good and so is the commission.... that's the only good thing about it, I guess."

"Have you thought about what you want to do?"

Your friend looks glumly at her cup as she holds it in her hands. "Not really. Never mind, let's not talk about work anymore. I can't wait for the spa."

"Same. Did you look at the spa menu?"

"Yeah, and I looked at the reviews. It's a pretty high-end place."

"I wanted to go for the best." You reply; you both taste your coffee and discover that it's really good. "Oh yeah, I need to tell you something. Well, more like ask."

"What?"

"....Do you wanna... go on a date with the Champion of Galar, Leon?"

Your friend looks at you blankly for a few seconds, before she goes, "Wut?"

"I was going to work one day and I saw Opal outside - she's the gym leader of Ballonlea - and she asked if I knew anyone who was single; she wants to set Leon with someone, and I thought about you."

Your friend's eyes widen at once before she splutters, "Wait, WHAT?"

"But only if you want to."

She looks visibly nervous, fidgeting in her seat. "What the...where is...where is this coming from? Why? This is so random!!!"

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, but I think he's a great guy."

"Well, why didn't she ask you?"

"She did, but I - " You pause somewhat, before you utter out, "I'm seeing someone already: Raihan."

Her eyes bulge once more. "WHAT?" Leaning forwards in her chair, she grabs your hand. "Oh my Shaymin, what! You are? Wait, I knew it! You know Raihan posted up a selfie of himself with your brother the other day, right??? I was like when did Raihan meet your brother??? When did this happen?? When were you going to tell me this???" She exclaims; she sounds happy for you, which makes you feel better inwardly considering you weren't sure how she would react.

"Well...We just started going out."

She stuffs her knuckles into the mouth, and emits a squeal with glee. "That is so cute! I'm so happy for you!"

"Thanks..." You leave your sentence trailing, chuckling. "So...do you wanna go on a date with Leon? I know you have a thing for men with long hair - or was it men in tights?"

Your friend clams up again and you're pretty sure you see her cheeks going slightly pink. You recall that your friend attempted to become Champion a long time ago and gave up after losing several times. Leon is champion and has been since the tender age of ten...so, you suppose there's somekind of common ground there but you don't want to mention this to her, of course. Wait! What if being around Leon makes your friend think about her forgotten, destroyed childhood dreams???! Or maybe you're thinking too much now? You quickly bat those thoughts away and say with a smile, "He's a really friendly guy, I'm sure you guys will get along."

"...What if he's not interested? What if he doesn't like me?"

"He won’t." You reply; however, she drops her smile, looking visibly troubled. Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned this to her...

However, much to your surprise, she nods. "Okay, I guess there's no harm, and it's always good to meet more people."

"Exactly! I'll tell Opal the good news." You add, before you quickly type a message to the gym leader.

Once you finish messaging Opal, you continue catching up. There’s a lot to share - you tell her that Raihan had a crazed stalker, you went camping with him, he gave you a Goomy and a Dreepy, he helped catch a Galarian Ponyta which you gave to your brother. Speaking about Glenn, you tell her that he went missing in the woods near your home and you had to battle him because he got mind-controlled by a Shiinotic but you lost and Raihan paid; the prize money was a lot, almost equivalent to the price of a vitamin. Then you also found Phantump’s dead body and now he’s with Allister.

”Bloody hell.” Your friend says, in response to all this.

You even tell her that Raihan keeps calling you princess.

”Well, from what you’ve told me, he certainly treats you like one.”

She has a good point, although the pet name has stuck since that online article was released.

The coffee's really good, so you and your friend end up ordering two more each along with some more cake and then depart to the spa. With three coffees in your system and a whole lot of sugar, you're pretty jittery inside. After you finish up in the spa, it's getting late and you both leave the establishment feeling relaxed and refreshed and in an elevated mood. You had opted for a full, relaxing seaweed bath, facial and body massage and now your neck, shoulders, back and arms feels rid of many cricks and stiff joints and your skin is super smooth and shiny.

"That foot massage really hit the spot." Your friend comments, "That Mr. Mime is good with his hands - " Pause. "Fuck, that sounded so wrong! You get what I meant though, right???"

You snort with laughter as she squawks helplessly. "Yeah."

She curses loudly anyway, before she opens her phone to check any messages; her eyes widen and she turns to you. "Um, I think you should see this."

"What is it?"

"Look." She hands you her phone and you see that she's brought up Raihan's social media page. You can see the selfie he took with your brother which he ended up posting onto his account along with a new post; selecting it, you see that the post is a massive wall of text and there's more than a thousand comments on it. Your friend says, "He's confirming that he's dating. Aww, look at what he's written. It's so sweet."

You wonder what's triggered this but when you read his post, he doesn't disclose your name or any other information about you, other than his girlfriend is really important to him, he enjoys spending his free time with her and he really cares about her. You feel your heart thudding harder, your cheeks warming. He also mentions that it won't stop him from training or working harder as Hammerlocke gym leader - in fact, it's inspired him to work harder - so his fans shouldn't be worried.

You sigh under your breath as you hand her the phone. "Sorry, I think I should head back now."

"That's okay." Your friend says with a smile. "I had fun today. Let's hang out again soon."

"Sure. Maybe next time we could go on a double date or something." You reply, and she laughs. “Tell me how the date goes.”

”Yeah, yeah, okay.”

You both split up - she makes her way to the train station and you scoop out your phone. You should go see him.  You quickly call him and you wonder if he'll be able to pick up but then -

"Hey, princess." He sounds cheerful as always.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Where are you right now?"

"At the stadium."

"I'll come over."

"Okay."

After you hang up, you call the taxi to take you to Hammerlocke.

...

Raihan waits for his girlfriend.

There hasn't been any scheduled matches today which was a nice change of pace, but it doesn't mean he gets to slack off. His entire day was full of training with his pokemon; he's been devising various battle strategies and tactics so next time, a victory will be guaranteed. He's been so absorbed with work that he hasn't even looked at his phone much and it’s getting hot, so he sits cross-legged in the middle of the pitch with a pen and notebook in hand. He removes his hoodie and sweatband, leaving them folded on the soft grass by his side.

He wonders when she'll get here when suddenly someone pounces on his back and a pair of arms wrap around him; she kisses him on the cheek and nuzzles his neck and he chuckles. "Hey."

"Hey." She says, before she gives him a tight, affectionate squeeze and nibbles the shell of his ear.

"Are you okay?"

"Yep!! I had three coffees, that's all."

In that case, she should have coffee more often.

"C'mere." Raihan tries to be careful with her - he peels her off his back and into his arms, bringing her into his lap where he aggressively attacks her neck and face with kisses and playfully nips at her skin. She giggles, clinging onto him as he ravages her. Pulling away for a split second, he leans forwards again to take a whiff of her hair. "Mm. You smell good."

"I went to the spa with my friend today..." His girlfriend wriggles in his grip to sit up and he keeps her perched in his lap; cupping her face, he takes one good look at her - cute as always, yep, and this time, she is positively glowing... the spa has done her some good; throwing his glance to the side, he also notices the numerous shopping bags she's brought with her. "I got you something."

He lets go of her as she reaches over and accidentally knocks over a bag where he can see this red lacy bra inside.

"Whoa! You weren't supposed to see that! Not yet anyway..." She exclaims and he chuckles; she quickly seizes it and moves it behind another bag and away from his eyes, but he's seen it all already. She grabs another bag, fishes out a rather large bundle from inside which she hands to him. It's a poketoy set specifically for an assortment of pokemon types ranging from dragon to ground.

Grinning, he says, "Thanks," and promptly opens it, lifting out a feathery toy which he uses to tickle her nose with. She scrunches up her face in response and he laughs at her expression.

"It's also got this incense that relaxes dragon-type pokemon." She explains, rubbing at her nose.

"It's great, I'm sure the guys will love it." He murmurs, before he puts the toy down, slides his arms around her waist as she sits up properly, glancing around again before she spots his hoodie and puts it on. It's so huge on her tiny frame that she completely disappears inside it and the sleeves are so long, they dangle off her arms; Raihan watches her silently; she's never worn his clothes before and he has to admit, it's a bit hot. To complete the outfit, he takes his headband that he's left lying over the grass and carefully eases it over her head. It's obviously too big for her; it keeps dropping over her eyes.

She pushes the headband up over her forehead and holds it there. "I saw the post," She says next, voice laced with concern, "What happened?"

He shrugs casually as he reaches for her free hand, pulling the sleeve of his hoodie up to reveal her fingers; he carefully slides his thumb into the base of her tiny palm and rubs her thoroughly; she watches him tentatively before she closes her fingers over his hand in return and holds his hand gently in hers. He says, "There were rumours going round saying I was dating; fans were worried that I was getting distracted and not taking my responsibilities seriously enough."

"Am I?" She asks, "...Am I distracting you?"

He cracks a grin, chuckling as she opens his hand and begins using her fingertip to trace the lines in his large palm. Her hand is so small and fragile compared to his but her fingertips are quite rough. She's used to hard work. "Nope." He mutters, scooping her fingers with his and rubbing them with his thumb.

"I'm sorry that happened, you don't deserve it."

"S'okay."

"I saw the comments too, a lot of them weren't nice."

He shrugs when she mentions his haters. "I'm used to it." Using his other hand, he pats her affectionately on the head, smoothing her hair down and stroking the side of her cheek, "Don't worry about me. It'll take more than that to get me down."

She pouts, but then smiles. "Okay, that's good. I’m glad. If it ever gets too much, we could always go somewhere else - maybe to Johto or Hoenn. I heard people have their own secret bases there."

"I could ask Kabu."

"Great."

”...Rose wanted to deny the rumours. I didn’t want that. It’s not fair on you.” He replies and she brings his hand to her chest, clutching him tightly. ”It’ll be okay. You don’t need to be a part in any of this.” He knows she enjoys her privacy, so he won’t ask her to be in any videos or photos.

“It’s not like it’s a big secret anyway - your cheerleaders know we’re together. And I think it's the other way round. I mean, you distract me a lot when I'm at work - I'm always thinking about you."

Raihan hesitates, raises a brow, before he grins once more and lets go of her hand to encircle his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer. She's being very bold today - first, she took him by surprise and also took the initiative; second, she clearly bought some sexy lingerie for the next time they would be in bed together, and now she is saying this. She delivers it in such a straightforward, blunt manner, he's not quite sure if he heard her properly but he did. He feels he should reward her so he leans in close, their noses touching.

"...Is that so?" He mutters, with his lips mere millimetres from hers. He slides one hand down from her waist to her ass, caressing her, and she blushes.

"Mm-hm, I'm always thinking about the stuff you do to me when we're together."

"Such as?"

She pulls his headband away from her eyes, lets go of his shoulders to cup his face, stroking the sturdy outline of his jaw and cheek with her thumb and their gazes meet. She tilts her head to the side and he leans in further, finally getting the chance to press his lips against hers. He gently massages her mouth with his, holding her tightly in his arms and pulling her firmly against him whilst she drapes her arms around his neck.

When they pull away, she smiles and says, "I'll leave that to your imagination."

...

[what-is-your-plan-today]

CSI: Rogers and Barnes- The Serious Cereal Serial Killer Ch 10: Surprise Surprise

Part 2 Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

REMINDER! Episode Warnings: Bad Language words. SMUT… (NSFW) NO UNDER 18s!!!!

Please read Part 1 first!

It felt to Steve like the afternoon lasted a goddamned month, but eventually he started to see everyone filtering out. He popped his head out of the door, thanked everyone for their work and apologised for his outburst earlier. Wanda smiled at him and then asked him if he needed anything else before she left. Steve’s eyes flickered to Katie who wasn’t looking at them, but he saw her shoulders tense a little. He dismissed Wanda and then it was just him, Bucky and Katie left in the room.

“Well…” Bucky smirked, standing up “I’ll leave you to it.” “Hang on, I need you to take my kit bag to yours.” Katie said, standing up

“That’s very presumptuous of you…” Steve looked at her, his eyebrow raising slightly and she shrugged, giving him a grin before she turned back to Bucky.

“I’ll walk down with you.”

Bucky nodded and then smiled to himself as Steve crossed the room, his hands gently dropping to Katie’s hips, as he dropped a soft kiss to her lips.

“What was that for?” she looked at him.

“Do I need an excuse?”

“No, suppose not.” she smiled at him. He gave her a wink in response and then turned and headed back towards his office “Don’t take forever getting ready…” She rolled her eyes in response and grinned at Bucky who smirked as she linked her arm through his and they headed down to the parking lot. Steve moved back into his office, grabbed his own bag and headed into the locker rooms. After a quick change into his outfit, he straightened his hair slightly, his hand running over his now present again, albeit shorter than it had been, beard before he stood back, taking a final look at his appearance. Deciding it was as good as it was going to get he took his bag and headed back upstairs and into his office. With a final check of his emails he glanced at his watch and, deciding that they needed to move sharpish, he closed his laptop down and grabbed his jacket.

He pulled his office door closed behind him, locking the door as always before he walked over to the key-safe and tapped in the code, placing the key on the right hook. Once he’d shut it all and secured it he turned to see Katie walking back into the main room. Not that she didn’t always but she looked especially good in a pair of dark jeans, a pale blue low cut sweater that hung off one shoulder, giving him a flash of baby pink bra strap (to which he could only hope to god she was wearing the matching bottom halves to because Jesus wept that lace did things to him) and a pair of tan-boots with a small heel. Her hair, which was starting to grow out of the short style was now hallway between her chin and her shoulder and she had pulled the longer side round into a braid. Her green eyes shone underneath a pale gold colour on her lids and her lips were slick with a clear gloss.

“You look amazing.” he said as she smiled at him, shyly, picking up her tan leather jacket from her chair.

Taking another look around the office, to double check they were alone he walked over to her and dropped a kiss to her cheek.

“So do you.” she said, stepping back to take in his white T- shirt, black zip up leather jacket, jeans and boots. He smiled, blushing slightly before he dropped a hand to the small of her back as they made their way to the elevator.  They exited the station, bidding goodbye to Heimdall who simply nodded at them, it wasn’t uncommon for them to leave together so they weren’t bothered about that in the slightest as they headed to the Subway Station chatting away.

If Steve had been trying to time it any better he doubted he could. Their train pulled in just as they walked onto the platform, it wasn’t crowded meaning they could get seats and for the first time since leaving the station Steve relaxed and tossed his arm around Katie’s shoulder, pulling her in for a kiss. She smiled at him, softly, then spotted the cheeky twinkle in his eye. “What?”

“Just wondering if you wanted to check whether Curtis was driving?”

She rolled her eyes before she smirked back “He’s retired actually. Hurt his arm in an accident, so I heard. Severed it from the elbow down.”

“Ouch.” Steve frowned, suddenly feeling a little bid bad for the guy “That’s…a bit shit!”

“I’ll say.” she shrugged “Anyway, you gonna tell me where we’re going yet?”

“Nope.” he shook his head, grinning. “You’ll see soon enough.”

She looked at him for a moment before she shrugged, changing the subject “How was Momma Rogers?”

“Oh, she’s fine.” Steve said, scratching his neck “I errr, I told her about us. Well, she kinda guessed actually but…” “I bet she took it better than Tony.” Katie smiled and he let out a snort.

“Yeah, you’re not wrong. She’s, well, a little excited shall we say.” he left it at that, deciding not to completely divulge the conversation he’d had with his Mom earlier. Some things just needed to stay between Mother and Son.

Although the ride in took them 30 minutes or so it seemed to flash by and soon they were emerging out of the Subway onto 50th Street.  Steve saw Katie shoot a glance over her shoulder at something, and he knew exactly what she was looking at, they were in the theatre district after all. Taking her hand in his he gently gave her a tug and led her down the sidewalk, which was busy as usual, leading her down to their first destination.

“You’re taking me to Joe Allen’s!” she said, giving his hand a squeeze and he glanced down at her, grinning as they turned on to 46th

“I knew you were a Detective for a reason.” he said and she nudged him with her elbow.

“Dick.” she smiled, before she looked at him “You know I love it there.”

He didn’t reply, simply squeezed her hand as they approached and then he let go to get the door for her. Greeting the maître d he gave his name for the reservation and they were led to a table at the far side of the restaurant where they were seated.

“Do you even need to look at the menu?” Steve teased and Katie shook her head, grinning.

“Nope.” she smirked “Mussels to start and the…”

“Turkey burger.” he finished for her and she shook her head.

“You know it is ridiculous how well you know me.” she looked at him and he shrugged.

“Almost 11 years now doll.” he said simply, smiling as someone arrived to take their drinks order. Given than neither of them needed to look at a menu the Waiter took their food orders as well with a smile and left them to it.

Steve leaned back in his chair and eyed his girl for a moment as she took a cursory glance around, Bucky’s words echoing in his head. Maybe now wasn’t the best time to raise this but he wanted to leave her with no doubts as to exactly what he was feeling and thinking. He wanted them to work, wanted this to be the start of something good, which he felt it was, and he was done letting external influences and other people sabotage their relationship. He’d lost her once because of that, and he was damned if he was going to lose her again.

"So, Bucky told me Wanda has been at it again?" Steve asked taking a deep breath.

He saw Katie's mood turn a bit sombre and she rubbed at her temple.

"Please, Stevie…can we not talk about her?" she pleaded more than asked.

"Ok, I don't wanna dwell on it sweetheart, but you do believe me when I tell you I'm not interested, in the slightest, don’t you?" Steve asked looking at her intently.

Katie just nodded but she wasn't looking at him, instead Steve saw her fiddling with the cutlery, making sure it was perfectly lined up on the table.

"Are you that concerned? Coz you have no reason to be." he insisted "Look at me, Doll."

"I know." she sighed and lifted her eyes to look directly into his "I know you'd never do that to me. Not after everything we've gone through, but it just..."

"What?" Steve asked smiling fondly at her, leaning on the table.

"I don't like people touching my stuff." she blurted out, shrugging.

Steve couldn't help but chuckle at her bratty outburst and he leaned back in his chair.

"So, I'm your stuff now." Steve scoffed, with a smirk. He had to admit, it amused him when she behaved that way.

"Yeah.” she pouted, before her face split into a grin as she clocked the look on his own features and she smiled, flirting "You're my hot stuff."

Steve laughed loudly at her words, tilting his head back and grabbing his left pec. "I fucking love you." he said grinning widely.

"Yeah, you do." Katie replied also smiling widely.

"Say it." Steve commanded her "Say it back, doll."

"Nope" she said popping the p.

"Doll..." he insisted tilting his head and raising one eyebrow.

"All right.” she said, shrugging before she cocked her head to one side and gave him a coy smile. “I love you, Stevie." she purred.

******

The food, as ever, hit the spot perfectly. Katie declined desert but Steve asked for 2 spoons with his Key-Lime Pie as he knew full well that she’d end up eating half the fucking thing, and she proved him right. After a slight discussion about who was paying, Katie trying to go halves but Steve telling her over his dead body was she paying for anything on their first date, they headed back up the street, past the subway station they’d emerged from earlier and then Steve brought them to a halt on the sidewalk opposite the Gershwin Theatre.

“What are we do-” Katie began to ask him and then she stopped dead, suddenly realising where they were. Her hand tightened around his and her eyes grew wide. “No, you’re…” she looked up at him, her voice practically a whisper “You got us tickets?”

Licking his lips slightly he nodded “Yeah.”

Her face broke into the biggest smile he could ever remember her sporting and his chest flooded suddenly with warmth as she gave a squeal and threw her arms around him. He laughed and pulled her into a hug.

“I mean, if you don’t wanna go, I can always sell them…” he teased and she hit him on the chest.

“Don’t even joke about that…” she shook her head. “I can’t…I can’t believe you did this. I’ve wanted to go for like forever…”

“You may have mentioned it once or twice.” he said simply “You finished staring at the theatre or do you wanna go inside? I mean it is a pretty interesting theatre…”

She simply rolled her eyes, the grin still plastered on her face as she nodded and they headed over to the crossing, joining the crowds of people walking across the road. Steve led them over to the ticket office, where he picked up the tickets and they walked into the foyer, Katie glancing around as she took everything in, her eyes sparkling.

“D’ya wanna get a drink sweetheart?” he asked, his arm curling around her waist. She nodded and he steered them over to the bar, where they waited to be served, Katie’s eyes still darting all around before she turned to him when he nudged her and asked what she wanted.

“Can I get a prosecco?” she asked, her tone hopeful and he laughed.

“You can have whatever you want.” he said softly, and she grinned, nodding. He placed the order and paid, handing her the glass before they headed over to a spare spot a little to their right by a tall table.

“I can’t believe you did this.” she shook her head looking at him “And kept a secret. You’re like the world’s worst liar…” “Why do you think I asked you not to start digging?” he asked, swallowing a mouthful of his beer. “I wanted it to be a surprise.” “I thought I knew you well enough now that you’d never be able to surprise me.” she smiled softly.

“Well like I said, I’ve had long enough to get to know you so…”

Her reply was cut off as the voice over the PA system announced the show would be starting in 15 minutes, so with a smile he suggested they find their seats. Steve was pleased to find they were actually pretty good. They were in the mezzanine,3rd row back and their seats were at the end of the row which pleased Steve as firstly he could stretch his long legs out properly into the aisle if he needed to and secondly  he’d be able to slip out without disturbing too many people if he wanted to get them another drink. He wasn’t bothered about missing the odd bit, it wasn’t really his scene after all but this wasn’t about him after all.

Having said that, 20 minutes or so into the first act he was pleasantly surprised to find he was actually enjoying it. He did love the Wizard of Oz after all, it had always been his favourite film growing up as a kid and Katie’s too for that matter. However, what he was enjoying more than anything was Katie’s reaction. Every so often he’d steal a side glance at his girl to find her mouthing along to the songs, unsurprisingly she knew every word, and he smiled to himself, his hand dropping to her leg, curling around her thigh. She smiled, not taking her eyes off the stage and dropped her hand to lay it on top of his, her fingers gently playing with his hand in the way she always did.  When the interval came he disappeared and returned a little while later with more drinks and she took hers from him, turning to him as he sat down, leaning over to catch his mouth in a soft kiss.

“You ok?” he asked her softly, his fingers brushing the back of her neck.

“More than ok.” she replied, her eyes bright. “This is perfect Stevie, thank you.”

Perfect, fucking perfect. Steve slid down into his chair, a huge shit eating grin plastered across his face as the second act started.

**** “That was amazing!” Katie gushed as they joined the throng of people, heading towards the exit. “The songs, the lighting, the whole production, I just…” she sighed happily as her hand curled around Steve’s and he looked down at her smiling. He was just about to reply when her face split into another grin and she jerked them both sharply to the left.

“Honey, what…”

“Merchandise!” she grinned, “I just want to look.”

Steve allowed her to lead him over to the counter, as she peered down, clearly mulling something over.

“I might get a programme…”she mused, before she wrinkled her nose “Mind you I’ll never look at it again…already got the soundtrack….oohhhhh check that out!”

Steve glanced up and saw her eyes had fallen on a black hoody with the show’s logo adorned on the chest in diamantes.

“I need that.”

He laughed, “At eighty bucks you don’t need it.” “I do.” “No, you want it.” “Nope.” she shook her head “It’s a definite need.” “For you to actually need it, then I’d have to ruin all your shirts” he teased and she glanced at him shaking her head.

“Yeah, you still owe me for that…” she snorted before she turned to lead them both away from the stall. “Oh, can I just nip to the bathroom before we head out?” “Sure, I’ll wait for you by the exit.” he said. She smiled, leaned up to kiss his cheek, before she headed off.

Steve watched her go for a second before he turned back to the Merchandise desk. Pulling out his wallet, he asked the attendant for one of the hoodies in a small, he had ruined her shirt after all which he still hadn’t replaced. With a smile he took the bag and headed towards the exit, doing up his jacket as he went. It wasn’t long before she returned and wordlessly he handed her the bag. She took it from him, frowning before she grinned at the contents and shook her head, laughing.

“You didn’t have to get me this.” she said softly.

“Well, as you reminded me, I still owed you for your shirt.”

“Steve, I wasn’t hinting at that, you didn’t…” “I know.” he cut her off softly “But I wanted to.”

She smiled at him again, “You’re such a dork.” she glanced in the bag again before she looked up at him, her face soft “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Doll…” he said, wrapping his arm round her “Now, not sure about you but I could do with a drink. Fancy heading to The Rum House?” “Oooh yeah!” she grinned as they started to walk back towards Times Square “Haven’t been in there in…well, I can’t remember the last time actually.” He pulled her in closer, dropping a kiss to the side of her head, relishing the fact that he was simply able to do so, in public, show anyone and everyone who was looking that she was his girl. It hadn’t been easy at work, for either of them, but now Tony knew as well it would mean they could relax once they both left the station and enjoy being with one another away from the office. He knew that dating in semi-secret wasn’t perfect, far from it, and moreover that it couldn’t go on for ever, but Steve was damned sure he was going to make it work for as long as they needed it to.

Hand in hand they weaved through the tourists and locals, all going about their business and it wasn’t long before they reached the bar. Steve, ever the gentleman, nodded to the bouncer who opened the door for them and he waited for Katie to walk in before him, his hand gently on the base of her back as he steered them over to the bar. Both of them removed their jackets and waited until a bar tender was free and made his way over to them. Steve’s hands gently dropped to her waist and he pressed a soft kiss to the side of her neck, making her smile and lean back slightly into him.

Katie was a sucker for gin, but seeing as they were in The Rum House and he was on his first date with her, Steve convinced her they should make it a special night to remember and he ordered one the bar's signature Rum cocktails for them both. A Mojito for him and a Berry Daiquiri for his girlfriend.

His girlfriend, Steve had smiled when he had uttered those words to the bartender.

They stood listening to the background jazz music while they waited for their drinks by the bar before Steve spotted a stool was spare. He offered it to Katie but she shook her head and instead gently nudged him back onto it so he was perched on the edge, one foot on the rung and she moved to stand between his legs, snuggling into his neck when she suddenly tilted her head back to look at him.

"What cologne are you wearing?" she asked.

"Same as always. Gucci Guilty, why?" Steve replied tightening his grip around his girlfriend’s waist.

"Well, I don't know. It's doing things to me tonight." she confessed biting her bottom lip. "Or maybe it's the fact you're being particularly lovey-dovey. Not that I'm complaining."

Steve didn't say a word, he just smiled and reached up, his hand gently gripping the back of her neck and he brought her lips to his.

"Do you know that PDAs make some people uncomfortable?" Katie asked once they broke the kiss.

"I don't give a shit, doll. I’ve waited long enough and we have to hide it everywhere else." Steve shrugged with a grin plastered on his face.

******

Bucky looked up from his phone on which he had been checking his messages while his date was in the restroom and felt his mouth drop open.  He couldn't believe his eyes when he spotted Steve and Katie by the bar, easily recognising the punk gently kissing his girlfriend from the other side of the room.  Fortunately, they hadn't spotted him. How could they? Steve was all over Katie and she was smiling all gooey eyed at him, blatantly they had no eyes for anyone but each other. And, to be honest, Bucky was happy for them. They deserved to be enjoying themselves, all loved up as Christ knew, the tension at the station was getting harder to handle each day…or should that be Wanda was getting harder to handle each day. Bucky loved seeing his best friend happier than he had ever seen him and he had to admit he had a soft spot for Katie since he had met her a couple of months prior.

His stomach flipped when he realized he was going to be busted as Steve had broken the kiss when the waitress had placed their drinks in front of them and now the punk was scanning the place for a free table. No turning back now. There was no way he could stand up without Steve spotting him almost immediately and hiding under the table was out of the question.

He saw Steve look directly at him and open his mouth to say something but he frowned and closed it immediately. He turned to Katie, spoke to her and Bucky saw her look in his direction, her eyes wide open, an understanding look on her face. Next thing he knew, they had both grabbed their drinks, jackets and Steve was dragging Katie towards his table.

"Buck! Of all the places! What are you doing here? Can we?" Steve asked pointing at the vacant chairs, just moving one for Katie to seat before sitting himself on the one next to her.

"Same as you, I guess." Bucky deadpanned.

"He's on a date. Stevie. Come on, let's leave him alone." Katie said squeezing Steve's arm.

Bucky gave Katie his best smile of gratitude but it was too late.

"Yo, Captain. Katie?"

"Sam? What are you doing here?" Steve asked dumbfounded as Sam sat next to Bucky.

"I'm on a date." he said with a broad smile. "With him." he said pointing at Bucky with his thumb as he saw Steve's puzzled expression.

Bucky shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose as he heard Katie sigh and saw her purse her lips to avoid laughter. He was about to speak, better later than never, he thought but then Sam chipped up again.

"I thought you and Wanda were.." Sam began to ask Steve but stopped and jumped slightly on his seat when Bucky kicked him under the table.

Katie rolled her eyes at him and muttered under her breath “bitch.”

"No." Steve chuckled, and he looked at Katie who shrugged before he turned to Sam "I'm with Katie." he added holding her waist and placing a kiss on her head.

"Oh." Sam said surprised at first but then just nodded with a big smile on his face "Cool." he said before turning to Bucky "Why didn't you tell me? I've been missing a lot, man!"

"Sorry" Bucky said apologetically.

"Sorry? The juiciest gossip of the station for years and you didn't tell me?" Sam insisted.

"It wasn't for me to tell. They want to lay low." Bucky protested

"And just like that we're supposed to be cool?" Sam asked Bucky, faking annoyance.

"Sorry to interrupt your Married with Children scene, but you two are together as well and I had no idea!" Steve scoffed.

"You're clueless, Stevie." Katie chuckled.

"You knew?" he asked looking at her surprised.

"Yup. Not that they ever told me, but you only have to read the signs. Follow the yellow brick road, Captain." she shrugged.

Bucky could see Steve's mind whirring, trying to place the pieces in the correct slots. Signature Captain expression and all.

"So, Alex...?" he asked Bucky.

"Alex was Alexander, and Sam is Samuel, not Samantha as your ma believed." Bucky nodded and looked at his friend trying to read in his eyes an acceptance he was desperate to obtain.

"Hey Sam. Did Buck tell you he learnt what cunnilingus is today?" Katie tried to help Bucky out.

And just like that Steve spat his drink, making everyone laugh.

"That so?" Sam asked raising an eyebrow at Bucky.

"Yeah, it's a right. That's what it is." he said grinning and hi-fived with Katie.

"And now if you excuse me gentlemen, I need to go to the restroom." Katie said standing up after pecking Steve in the lips.

"And I'm buying all of us shots. Be right back." Sam stood as well.

“Hey, Sam…” Steve gently touched his arm as he moved to walk past him “Me and Katie, no one else on the job knows other than you guys and Tony. I’d appreciate it if it stayed that way, at least for the foreseeable.” “My lips are sealed man.” Sam said, patting him on his shoulder as he headed to the bar.

"Listen, pal..." Bucky said to Steve who shook his head.

"You don't have to say anything, Buck." Steve cut him off raising his palm and Bucky sighed relieved as he saw Steve smile at him.

"Gotta admit I was worried about you finding I was bi. I wanted to tell you so many times, Steve." Bucky said with a mixture of emotion and worry. “I just, guess I was scared how you’d take it…”

"You really did take all the stupid with you, didn't you?" Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “I don’t give a shit Buck. As long as you’re happy.”

"Till the end of the line?" Bucky asked, holding his fist out.

"Till the end of the line." Steve nodded, bumping his own against Bucky’s.

Katie returned and took the seat next to Steve and his hand dropped to her leg, smiling as Sam returned with a bottle of tequila and 4 shot glasses, plus a load of sliced lemons and the salt shaker.

The 4 of them settled into a comfortable chat, talking about anything and everything BUT the job, and Steve found himself on more than one occasion just listening as Katie laughed and joked with Sam, more often than not at Bucky’s expense, but as he looked at his best friend he could tell he was loving every second of it. He observed a few little moments between Bucky and Sam, gentle touches and it warmed Steve’s heart to see his friend so blatantly happy.

Half an hour or so passed and they’d emptied their second drinks, and half the bottle of Tequila as well. Noticing their empty glasses Sam nodded to them.

"Want another round?" he asked.

Steve hesitated and looked at Katie who leaned over his ear to whisper "While they're here your flat is empty."

And that was enough for Steve to jerk up holding Katie's hand.

"Sorry, we're on a date and we've got, erm, places to be." he said holding Katie's jacket open so that she could put it on.

"See you tomorrow at the station, guys." Katie quipped.

"Bullshit, see you at breakfast." Bucky snarked back as she flipped him off, Sam roaring with laughter.

"Yeah, whatever. Behave." Steve said before dragging Katie out of the bar into the chill streets of Manhattan.

***** “I’ve had…” Katie undid the belt on her jacket as she walked through to Steve’s living room, “the most amazing night, thank you…”

She shrugged off her jacket, tossing it onto the back of the sofa, Steve doing the same with the bag containing her hoody and his jacket before he dropped a kiss to her lips.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it doll…” he said gently, kissing her again, pulling her to him as his hands wrapped around her back. Her arms looped around his neck as he reached down and hooked his hands round the back of her thighs, easily picking her up. She giggled, wrapping her legs round his waist, her nose brushing against his as he carried her down the hall. As they walked he heard 2 dull thuds on the floor, indicating she’d kicked off her boots and he smirked against her lips as he dropped her gently on his bed. He shucked off his own shoes as he reached behind his head and grabbed a fist full of his T-shirt, yanking it over his head before he dropped down on the bed, settling his hips in between her legs in the space she made for him as she ran her hands through his hair. He smiled softly at her before he pressed his lips back to hers, kissing her deeply, his large hands gently sliding up the side of her ribs, pulling off the top she was wearing. His fingers lightly brushed over the soft skin of her belly, stopping as he reached the waistband of her jeans. With an easy movement, his hands popped the button, sliding down the zip and he shimmied down the bed to slide the denim down over her legs, letting out a soft moan as he found out she was, indeed, wearing the matching pair of panties to her bra. He pressed soft kisses to the inside of her leg, working his way up from her knee to her thigh and she let out a sigh, her hand tangling in his hair.

“Glad your beard is pretty much back…” she said and he chuckled as he reached the top of her leg, his lips ghosting across the top of  the lace garment, placing a soft kiss just below her navel.

“You have an unhealthy obsession with my facial hair…” he said, as he hooked his fingers into the lace he was currently nuzzling at her through.

“I like the way it feels…”she muttered as he gently slid her underwear down.

“Yeah?” he asked, deliberately brushing his whiskers back along the inside of her thigh.

“Yeah…” she nodded, her hands once more in his hair, running down the back of his neck to his shoulders, and back again. He let out a sigh at her touch as his hands slid up the outside of her legs, before he gently nipped at her skin just below her hip, as she arched her back, letting out a soft cry.

“You know I heard you before…” he teased, his lips continuing their movement across her belly once more.

“What?”

“You, and Natasha…and a certain something being a right…”

He glanced up at her in time to see her open her eyes and grin at him but before she could make any snarky come back he set his mouth on her causing her unuttered words to die in her throat as she let out a low groan and began writhing in pleasure as his tongue and lips worked her over. He felt her hand tangle into his hair, and heard the rustle to the side as her other gripped at the sheets. Her sweet, salty tang on his tongue set every nerve in his body on edge and the more he tasted the more he wanted. He knew he was groaning himself with each lick and suck he gave her but he was aroused, really aroused and the warm feeling across his stomach was getting harder to ignore the more he worked her. He focused his attention back on her little bundle of nerves, licking at it before closing his lips around it and sucking it into his mouth, gently grazing with his teeth and with that he felt her body convulse, her back arched and she let out a strangled cry, his name on her lips and it made him slightly smug to hear. Steve held her down gently, one strong arm over her small waist and as her hand gripped his hair harder, she groaned brokenly once more pushing on his head, too sensitive now in the throes of her orgasm. Taking the hint, he moved his mouth and crawled back up the bed, taking in her flushed appearance as she looked at him, her chest heaving.

“Good?” he asked breathlessly, staring at her, seeking confirmation despite the fact she lay completely and utterly undone beneath him.

“God, yes…” her voice was gruff, as she kissed him, the fact that he could still clearly taste her on his tongue meant that she would be able to too, and the fact that she didn’t care made him shudder.

She began to trail her hand back down his chest reaching for his buckle her fingers gently grazed his stomach, lingering there before moving down to his jeans. He bucked at the touch as she slowly undid his belt, taking her time as she locked her eyes onto his again, lust had turned into softness. He stared right back at her, her eyes reminding him of emeralds, deep green, speckled with dots of brown, the slight ring of amber surrounding her pupil reminded him of the sun. Telling him of the power she exuded over him and the warmth she brought to his life. He was aware that his breathing had quickened and he let out a low growl before he kissed her, harder and his hands slid underneath her. She arched her back slightly allowing him to undo the clasp of her bra and he placed a gentle kiss on each shoulder as he slid the straps down over her arms, removing it completely. He was achingly hard now, and he needed to do something about it so he quickly stood up, shedding the rest of his clothes and in a flash he was on her again, mouth hungrily covering hers as his hands trailed up her legs, to her hips, up the side of her body and then onto her breasts teasing gently. She groaned, rolling her head back on the pillow at the sensation, her hips bucking upwards.

"Fuck." he seethed out at the feeling of her grinding up against his rock hard crotch, and he nuzzled at her neck with his nose again. She dragged her fingers up his spine as he buried his face in the side of her neck working at the pulse spot beneath her ear, the little noises of pleasure she was making were music in his ear. Her hips began to move, pushing up against him again, groans falling from her lips at the sensation as he nipped slightly at her neck and then moved his mouth to her chest, taking her right nipple in. Her groans were growing louder now and Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to be in her, surrounded by her, feel her. But before he could do anything about it, Katie sat up slightly, pushing on his shoulders. It was just a hard enough shove to make him understand she wanted him to lay on his back, and he was more than happy to let her take control.  As she straddled him his hands tangled in her hair, pulling her face down to kiss him and as he did so she reached down between them, taking him in her hand. He groaned but didn’t release her mouth as she adjusted position to take him in. Slowly she slid down onto him, a dirty moan flowing from her mouth which he swallowed with his kiss as she stayed pressed against him, and she began to move, rolling her hips forward. She was quick to find a rhythm and her mouth fell open against his lips and she let out a shaky moan before sitting up fully.

The sight of her on top, illuminated by soft light streaming in through the slight cap in the curtains was almost enough to tip him right over there and then. He wanted to touch her, so he did, bringing her hands up to run them up her sides until his hands cupped her breasts, thumbs running over her nipples as she let out another moan. As she picked up the pace his hands went to her hips, pulling her down onto him harder, thrusting upwards to meet her for every move she made. She continued to move, quickening, her eyes never leaving his.

“Stevie…”she groaned, as he tilted his hips up harder and he let out a groan himself, increasingly determined to get her there again before he lost it. As he felt himself beginning to tip over the edge, his hand moved from her hip to stroke at that spot between her legs and that did it. He felt her tense up and tighten around him, crying out loudly and unbridled as she shook. The sight of her coming undone on top of him, her cheeks flushed, lips pink, mouth open in a now silent scream, was simply incredible and quite possibly the single most exquisite thing he had ever seen. All of that, coupled with the force of her heat tightening even, more made him lose himself.

“Fuck, Doll…” the curse fell from his lips as he thrust upwards, before he spilled himself inside her again, the wave of pleasure deeper than anything he’d felt before. Katie collapsed forward onto his chest, her tremors subsided, both of them panting. He held her close, his fingers running up and down her spine as she let out a soft “hum” of contentment and he sat up, wanting to see her face to face. Still cradling her close he pushed the hair that had fallen over her face back behind her ears and she reached up, running her hands through his, causing him to close his eyes at the sensation of her nails on his scalp.

When he opened them again and looked at her something flashed in her eyes as the slight gleam of light through the curtains caught her face. She was looking at him, features soft, almost as if she was seeing him for the first time. His breath quickened slightly as he simply looked at her, seeing the adoration in her eyes, no one had come close to ever making him feel like this.

“God, I love you.” he whispered, pulled her closer, his nose rubbing up against hers.

Without missing a single beat, she spoke in return as their noses continued their lazy dance, the words coming easily.

"I love you too.”

It wasn’t the first time they’d said that, but for some reason right there and then it just felt different. Like it meant more, as if they were both understanding there and then in that moment that this was it for them, that this was the start of their forever. The realisation lit a fire in Steve’s chest and he kissed her softly, grinning like a total idiot as she was smiling too, the kisses growing softer and shorter until she pulled away completely, her hand gently on his cheek, fingers tangling in his beard. He could see that her eyelids were heavy, clearly exhausted from the exhilaration of the entire day and night, and with a last kiss to the tip of her nose, he set them both down in the bed and slid a hand under her and pulled her to him, chest pressing into her back. He placed a final soft kiss on the back of her neck before he pulled the covers back up over them and closed his eyes.

Right there Steve knew that there wasn’t possibly any man on the planet that could claim to be happier than he was.

[dovakhiindrabbles]

#90 with Hadvar?

Absolutely! I’d be more than delighted to write the request for you! All that I hope for is that you have a splendid day and enjoy! ヾ（〃＾∇＾）ﾉ♪

90. “You need to take off your shirt.” 

———————————————————————————————————–

“Your first duty as our newest soldier in the Imperial Legion is to get yourself properly uninformed,” Tulius had announced to you once you’d finished your oath and sworn your loyalty, his arms folding across his chest and feet tipping back with an odd sort of calm. “Another soldier will help get you settled with the blacksmith, Beirand. I think you’ll appreciate getting to see a familiar face.”  

“A familiar face?” Your brows furrowed in confusion and you found yourself leaning in as though it were a secret you yearned to know.  

Tulius sauntered back to the war table with its markings and scribbles adorning it like dust in an old home. The ends of his lips tipped up with knowing. “Don’t worry about it now – he’s still on his way. You’ll see him in the morning.”  

“Him

“Yes. Figure it out or find out in the morning. I was personally asked not to reveal and I prefer to keep my word.”  

“You can’t even give me a hint?”  

He glanced at you and sighed.  

“You’ll be very happy to see him.”  

That did little to quell your curiosity or your questions, but you left nonetheless – prying further would’ve done little but prick at his already short temper.  

You were happy to see plenty of people though. It wasn’t as if you were difficult to get along with – it could be anyone!

It left you so anxious you found yourself pacing about the courtyard, moving more than the soldiers who were supposed to be training – practically an indention left where your heavy boots repeatedly slammed into the cobblestone.  

You were only brought to a halt when the sound of bustling, excited whispers managed to drown out your whirlwind of a brain.  

“Is that really him?”  

“He was there in Helgen, wasn’t he? He saved the Dragonborn!”  

“He’s a captain now, show some respect!”  

You found yourself twisting about curiously, your eyes becoming the size of dinner plates at just who it was strolling in.  

Hadvar.

That wonderfully sly-tongued doofus.  

His face sported a few new scars and his typically curly mess of unkempt hair was tied up, but you’d recognize those kind eyes and infectious smile anywhere. He hadn’t mentioned meeting you in Solitude within any of the countless letters you exchanged. Just how long had he and Tulius kept this a secret?  

“Well, I’ll be damned!” You exclaimed. “What’re you doing-”  

He scooped you up into what you could only describe as a bear-hug, stealing the words from your mouth as you let out a surprised yelp instead.  

“I came to help you get your things sorted!” He gave a hearty laugh. “But I have to tell you – that’s no way to speak to your commanding officer.”  

He did his best to sound serious, but whatever façade he was attempting was utterly ruined by the wide, toothy smile spread across his face.  

“Oh, come on,” You scoffed as he set you down, his hands rising to settle on your arms. “It’s not like you’re actually my…”  

You paused.  

“Wait, did you really?”  

He lit up like a torch.  

“You were the first person I requested when I was promoted!”  

You managed to both gasp and cry out in delight somehow, nearly toppling Hadvar over once you slammed into him for another hug.  

Your arms wound around his neck and your fists grappled for the few bits of cloth peeking out from his armor. Your head became buried in the crook of his neck and you found yourself breathing in the familiar scent of Riverwood that clung to him so fiercely – full of freshly-cut timber and newly bloomed flowers that’d dot the pathways.  

Out of everywhere else in Skyrim, right there was where you felt safe, felt protected.  

He had stayed by your side in Helgen when it would’ve been so much easier for him to abandon you. In the heat and peril of dragon fire, his hand had held onto yours, and since then it felt like you never let go.  

“So, are you ready for your first act as a soldier of the Empire?”  

You snorted and eased back. “Yes sir, Captain!”  

He swung an arm around your shoulder as he began to lead you down the path to all the shops and craftsmen.  

“Then let’s get you suited up in a proper uniform!”  

He took you to the Solitude Blacksmith, a smithy blending in with the stone-drenched hold were it not for the light and heat that poured from every nook and cranny. Inside, there was a hefty man with soot-coated fingers and a leather apron adorned with age, shielding all but his weathered face.  

The man took a look at the two of you and cocked his head, simpering. “Hadvar, did you ruin your armor again? I’m going to be running out of steel soon enough!”  

“What can I say? I’m a very passionate fighter!” He remarked, quick to point you out. “But no, it’s not – it’s for them, our newest recruit! Beirand, meet the Dragonborn.”  

He gawked in surprise and his jaw nearly dropped, suddenly scrambling to introduce himself.  

“Ah – oh gods forgive me! I hope I didn’t offend-”  

You smiled and shook your head, your cheeks admittedly flushing at the title – no matter how many times it was said you never quite gotten used to it.  

“No, no, not at all. I’m just here as a soldier in need of a uniform, that’s all.”  

He nodded and sheepishly cleared his throat. “Of course, all I need are your measurements. Unfortunately, I have a mold nearly finished that I need to attend to, but Hadvar has been here so much that I’m sure he’d be more than able to take them for me. If it’s no trouble.”  

All of a sudden, the witty, well-intentioned soldier you knew became a bundle of red-faced nerves, unable to meet your gaze. “Oh I-I don’t know about that!”  

“I wouldn’t ask unless I had to.”  

You swallowed hard and folded your lips meekly, fiddling absentmindedly with your fingers – anything to distract yourself from what you were about to say.  

“It’s fine. I don’t mind.”  

Hadvar nearly choked on air and eyed you in complete bewilderment.  

“Are you sure?” He whispered.  

You wrinkled your nose, trying to ignore how your stomach swarmed with butterflies. “Y-Yes. It’ll be fine.”  

Neither of you believed it, but Beirand certainly did. He clapped his hands and backed away to his firepit. “Good to hear. I keep all my measurements and tools in my study upstairs. Have at it!”  

You both muttered an awkward ‘ok’ and proceeded your way up the painfully creaky stairs. A fire was still crackling, albeit dimmer and morning light streamed in through the windows. It would’ve been a tranquil sight had it not for the reason you were there.  

You dawdled about and watched as Hadvar wrangled together the measuring string with old, handwritten numbers and small tears painting its sections.  

He evened it out and opened the journal, his gaze eventually raising to you and his voice softening so much you thought he was afraid to say it – with good reason, of course. 

“You… you need to take off your shirt.”  

Your heart nearly burst from your chest, your mind stopping dead in its tracks.  

“W-What?”  

Hadvar became roughly the same shade of a rose. “For the measurements – I-I mean!”  

“The measurements!” You nodded briskly. “R-Right! Those!”  

You began to undo the armor, stomping once your fingers clasped at your last layer of bare cloth, taking in a sharp breath. “I’m stopping there.”  

“That makes it a little difficult-”  

“I-I don’t care!” You puffed out your cheeks indignantly. “I don’t want t-the first time you see me to be like this!”  

“The first time I-”  

It clicked together like puzzle pieces.  

“Oh.” He folded his lips and failed at trying to hide his smile. “I had no clue you felt that way…!”  

You soaked in your own words and your shoulders dropped, groaning miserably. “Oh gods, I just confessed my feelings to you, didn’t I?” You ground your teeth. “Fuck I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”  

Hadvar rushed to you, dropping all of his things in his urgency, taking your hands in his own. His grip was gnarled and wrought with wounds and calluses, but you would’ve given anything to never let go.  

“No, no, no don’t take it back – here I’ll admit something even bigger!” He forced down the lump in his throat. “I don’t just have feelings for you, I’m… I’m in love with you!”  

The world could’ve been ending outside and you wouldn’t have cared a single bit.  

“You aren’t just saying that…?”  

He scoffed, shaking more than one would expect. He’d been in the bloodiest of battles and held enough bodies in his past to reach the peak of Castle Dour, but this is what left him threatening to shatter. “I have been wanting nothing more than to tell you for ages! I swear on everything that is worth fighting for in this damned place, I swear on my loyalty to the empire, and I even swear on my new, dearly beloved title as captain: I love you.”  

You laughed in disbelief and found yourself sinking, resting your forehead against yours like a pillar, steadying yourself.  

“You can’t take that back, you know.”  

“I don’t want to!” He had to quiet himself down in his excitement. “I’ll tell you a dozen more times if you’d like!”  

You gave a crooked grin and raised your brow. “This does complicate our relationship, Captain.”  

“I don’t give a damn honestly,” He chuckled. “What I do give a damn about, is whether or not this now means I can kiss you.”  

You snorted. “I won’t kiss you for the first time outside the bedroom of Solitude’s blacksmith. If Beirand catches us it’ll be a mess!”  

“But you’ll kiss me anywhere else?”  

“I’d kiss you in the Thalmor Embassy.”  

He laughed warmly and squeezed your palms. “Then what’re we waiting for?”  

“What about Beirand?”  

“This is far more urgent!”  

“Hadvar…”  

“I can guess your measurements, come on!”  

He was practically giddy with anticipation and you couldn’t help but give in, following after him as he lead you outside.  

Beirand had called out and asked for the measurements at the sight of the two of you, Hadvar simply coming up with a random mess of numbers before giving a brief goodbye and shutting the doors behind you.  

Your armor would be a complete mess but you couldn’t care less. There was only one thing – one person – that mattered.  

He hid you away behind the many cobblestone columns and pulled you close, the space between you so small you could smell the faintest bit of honey from his favorite drink, barely tea, hanging in his breath.  

“Last chance,” He laughed, but it was clear how nervous he truly was. “no turning back after. I’m yours.”  

You held his heart in your grasp – he’d given it to you on a silver platter and you could do with it however you pleased.  

And you decided you would forever treasure it.  

“Oh, come here you sap.”  

You pressed your lips to his and smiles spread from ear to ear upon both of your faces. You wrapped his cheeks in your hands and curls of his hair became caught between your fingers. His own arms weaved around your waist, keeping you close as though it’d be a tragedy to ever let go.  

It was hard to ease back admittedly, but you beamed so brightly it hurt. Everything in the world felt that much more wonderful and your heart leaped that much higher. There was simply no place you’d rather be.  

“I love you too, you know,” You murmured. “I know I said I had feelings, but being in love is different and well I – I’m in love with you.”  

Hadvar’s eyes lit up and he laughed. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say that it’s ridiculous.”  

You simpered, raising your brows amusedly. “Was it worth it?”  

There wasn’t even a second of hesitation, it was as certain and as easy as breathing for Hadvar.  

“Every second.” 

[jinjikook]

spoil your dinner (M)

word count: 3k

genre: smut; boyfriend! jeongguk + domestic au

pairing: reader/jeongguk

warning(s):  established relationship + semi public touching + car shenanigans + hand jobs + oral sex + dry humping + come marking + referenced choking + hair pulling + daddy kink (mild)

summary: dinner is quaint and time spent with jeongguk’s family is sweet but your boyfriend seems to not understand the concept of being patient or subtle in the slightest. the car ends up being the best he can do when you try to draw out the inevitable. 

dedicated to: the lovely followers that have stuck by me through thick and thin, i love and appreciate you all!

a/n: guess who’s back guppies! i hope to post more often or at least be mildly active, i’m hoping to slowly write small works and make my way back to chaptered/longer fics once again! please bear w me, it’s my first fic in a loooooooong time (i haven’t even read a fic in ages yikes) i missed you all ♡ 

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“Aren’t we supposed to be on our best behavior?” You halt Jeongguk’s hand from sneaking up your thigh for the third time in the span of a few minutes. Your boyfriend quirked a brow but otherwise gave you no other response, simply turning back to pick at his meal.

It was a quaint little night that Jeongguk decided to make more eventful by picking you up after your shift at work to treat you to dinner with his family. Sweet enough, the sentiment felt genuine and you loved to spend time with him and you certainly didn’t mind being joined by his parents and brother. They enjoyed the restaurant he’d chosen, chewing away happily at the meat that was cooked to perfection. Even his brother—the picky little eater he is—was more than content with the meal.

But a seemingly innocent night out was turning out to be more than just that if Jeongguk’s wandering hands and sly tongue was anything to go by. Not only were his fingers itching to be in place you didn’t want his mother to catch him at but he was also endlessly teasing you with heated murmurs and hushed promises into your ear. It made you want nothing more than to head back to the car and take him up on all of his big talk.

Even as you playfully tugged at his shirt Jeongguk still clearly had only one thing on his mind.

“Babe, stop that.” He chuckled, pushing away your hands.

“What? I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“You’re pulling up my shirt.”

You shrugged and looked him dead in the eyes. “So? Do you wanna do the same to me? You can if you want.”

Jeongguk leaned in closer, eyes looking darker with a filthier intent swirling in his irises.

“Baby girl, if it’s not coming off completely then I don’t want it.” The statement caught you off guard and you felt your skin break out in goosebumps as shivers ran down your spine. His words alone were enough to ensure you were definitely damp in your underwear, let alone the way he was looking at you. You were so ready to risk it all and give him exactly what the two of you wanted.

Thank goodness for his family’s preoccupation with dinner; it made you sort of glad Jeongguk had chosen a Korean BBQ restaurant as they focused on the cooking meat in the middle and kept themselves entertained while the two of you were in your own world—albeit an inappropriate one.

The night wasn’t getting any easier as you were forced to continue through dinner with arousal in your bottoms and the thought of your boyfriend’s matching situation; although his was significantly drier and much harder. If only the restaurant wasn’t so packed, they might’ve heard the things their dear son had been whispering to you this whole time. And he’s supposedly an ‘angel’ compared to you.

“Ma, kid’s knocked out—maybe you guys should bounce now? I’ll take care of the check, don’t worry about it.” Jeongguk spied his brother asleep on the table and you wondered if he’d actually been expressing concern for his sibling and graciously took up the check on his own accord or if he was just so impatient to get you somewhere more private that he’d willingly kick his family out of their own dinner night and fork over a serious sum for you.

After some light protesting, Jeongguk’s family excused themselves and headed out after giving their goodbyes. Your boyfriend promised to be home soon after he finished dropping you off, after which he’d turned to give you a salacious smirk that had you knowing you sure as hell weren’t going straight home just yet. He’d marked off the check and you took care of the tip since you thought it was the very least you could do. After all, Jeongguk had covered the entire check without so much as letting you reach into your purse. God forbid you offer to pay half—you’d never hear the end of it.

He seemed to have pure enough intentions to the untrained eye: he held your hand gently as he led you to the car and opened the door for you, hummed small tunes as he kept his eyes on the road, minus a peck or two along the way. But once you turned into the familiarly hidden back road that you two had come to know so well, you already knew it was all an act. Your body began to react instantaneously, excitement racking up as you anticipated the night’s oncoming explorations.

Jeongguk parked, hand lingering on the gear shift as his other digits swept over the lights to turn them off, consequently leaving you two in the near-darkness of his car with only the radio and dashboard to illuminate the space between your faces before they came to meet in the middle. Impatience ruled over your senses as your hands traveled and roamed wherever they could reach. They tugged at his hair, grasped his neck and clutched at his top. Jeongguk’s were doing very similar things, though most of his focus was poured into sneaking under your shirt to feel for your chest instead.

While one hand was already under a cup of your bra, his other hand had taken hold of your own that had previously been on his neck to trail down where he forced you clamp over his length. He growled at the touch, the organ hot even over his clothes.

“That’s all your fault; look what you did to me.”

Whilst his talk and growls turned you on immensely, you couldn’t help but protest a bit that his current situation wasn’t necessarily a one man job but your arguing only egged him on further. His hand got tighter and you felt his dick twitch—you couldn’t help but moan into his mouth as he kissed you aggressively. Everything grew in intensity as your urges made you two that much more desperate. In just a few minutes the two of you were in the backseat of his car as you both made quick work of your clothes.

Once you were both left in just your undergarments, it became increasingly impossible to peel the two of you apart and figure out where one of you ended and the other began. The interior of the car grew hot between your shared breaths, Jeongguk’s palms searing onto your hips as he guided you to straddle him. His eyes were dark and half-lidded as he felt your body press up against his. He groaned audibly and pushed you down harder, forcing you to feel every ridge on his length as it bumped and grinded against your core.

You ached to remove the small remainder of clothes left, desperate to feel Jeongguk in all his entirety and have him pulsing inside of you but you weren’t sure if you could handle that ferocity just yet. So you allowed him to guide you against him, relishing in the deep pressure he placed where you were most sensitive. His hands continued to touch and stroke your body whenever they weren’t gripping tightly at your hips or shoulders to push you down harder onto him.

“Baby girl, you’re so stunning. Especially when you’re wearing these sort of things for me.” Jeongguk murmured, his voice low and deep enough to nearly be lost in the night between your labored breaths and pounding hearts. His fingers traced along the lacy fabric of your underwear, the intertwining lines in the designs along your hips giving him a track to follow with his digits. He let them lead his hand to your back, where he took a solid grip of your ass and made sure to leave a soreness behind after he released. Jeongguk sucked in through his teeth, feeling his dick twitch from how much your body turned him on. It only made things that much harder when you dressed up pretty for him. Despite him continuously saying how he’ll always find you gorgeous no matter what you wear or how much or how little effort you put into your looks, you still made sure to be your absolute best if to at least assuage your own insecurities. After all, the pretty underwear was mostly for him but partly for yourself. There was something rather empowering knowing that wearing such a saucy little slip made your boyfriend go mad.

Something about lace always got him though, so you usually made your choices with that in mind specifically for him since it’s just another fabric type to you. As long as he’s content, you are too.

“All for you, daddy. No one else gets to have me—”

“Or see you, right?”

You nodded, hands on Jeongguk’s shoulders as you rubbed tiny circles on the glowing skin there. How he manages to look toned even there had you speechless.

“Only you.”

“That’s my girl. That’s how I like it baby, you know how I don’t like sharing. You’re—all—mine.” He accented the last three words with sharp smacks to your ass, each word punctuated with the sting against your rear. Sometimes he’d do so in order to punish you for acting out or teasing him relentlessly but there were times such as this where he just gets so into it that he can’t help from doing what comes to mind first.

It’s like when he pulls your hair or chokes you as he drives into you, a split second decision that intensifies the moment for the two of you unexpectedly.

You looped your arms around Jeongguk’s neck as you coyly looked at him through your lashes, enticing him with your stare as you slowly brought your hips flush to meet his. The grind has him rolling his eyes and head lolling back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he took a large gulp of air in. You allowed him to relish the sensations for a hot second before threading your fingers into his hair and giving it a good yank back up. He hisses at the contact, the feeling making him tense up and moan as you guide your lips to his.

His kisses are relentless and powerful, quite literally ripping the air out of you as his lips grow more insistent against yours. He aches with need and yearns to be inside you more than anything else. As he feels the soaked sensation of your underwear against himself, he feels his resolve slipping.

It surely doesn’t help that you slipped a digit of his into your mouth, Jeongguk completely missing when you even grabbed for his hand prior. His moan came out broken—short staccatos as you licked and sucked at his finger, giving him the dirtiest fantasies and bringing the best memories of what your mouth is capable of elsewhere.

“Baby… Baby girl please, I need you,” Jeongguk pleaded breathlessly, feeling the tendrils of pleasure sink deep inside his gut as he neared closer to sweet release. You let his finger slip from your mouth, spit gleaming from your lips and the tip of his finger in the night light.

“Need what, daddy? I thought you liked what we were doing.”

Playing innocent was something you really enjoyed with him, it got the two of you more riled up than either of you liked to admit. Something about the power play probably and the push and pull between the two of you as you teetered between pleasure and torture.

Jeongguk panted harder as you took his finger back in, this time accompanying it with the one adjacent to it. It gave more of a fullness to your mouth and you allowed them to snake back towards your throat, making you choke on them in a way that made a mess of your mouth, chin and his hand.

“Baby girl, I want your mouth to do that to my cock. Now.”

With his fingers still in your mouth, you looked up at him and proceeded to suckle harder. He inhaled a quick, sharp breath at the action.

“Baby, please.”

Abiding to his kind wishes, you popped his fingers out of your mouth and gave them one final parting kiss before sliding your way down to kneel at the base of the car seat. It gave you a full view of the tent in his briefs, along with the shadow of where you moistened his bottoms.

Wasting no more time—and not giving his dick a single second to soften—Jeongguk reached into his underwear to pull himself out and stroke his cock a few times. It was fat with blood and you wondered how you resisted putting it into your mouth this long. Without another second lost, you went forward to suck at the head and gave it some much needed attention.

Instantaneously, Jeongguk reared up at the warmth of your mouth finally coming in contact with his sensitive member. He placed his palm at the base of your head, the other hand clawing at the car seat next to him as you lapped away at his pre come. His senses came to him after a moment, taking that hand to instead pull away any stray hairs that were getting in the way of what you were doing.

You took him deeper, his groan signaling that he was more than okay with your decisions. It took a long time, but you’ve managed to nearly deep throat his impressive length after choking far too many times in the past to count. He was always kind and patient as you learned to breathe effectively and do everything not to trigger your gag reflex. At this point you weren’t all the way there yet but you were able to fit enough in your mouth to make your jaw ache and Jeongguk certainly had no complaints of you not reaching all the way back just yet. If anything, he wasn’t sure how he’d handle when you did make it there, considering it already felt drop dead amazing with whatever you’re doing now.

It had him thrusting, gripping and hissing; every nerve ending on fire as you stimulated him. He swore he had no stamina when it came to this solely because of your prowess but despite that, you still felt like he lasted plenty long considering how much you worked while you were down there.

“Baby, I’m not gonna last—you teased me so much, I’m getting close already.”

Your boyfriend crooned as you did everything you knew drove him nuts, familiarity keeping track of your movements as you pushed further and further to bring him to the edge. It was now that you had to kick everything into high gear, giving him the prettiest bedroom eyes from where you knelt in order to entice him even more. He melted at the sight of your eyes on him and you felt his hands tighten where they were respectively, your scalp slightly stinging at the grip he had on your hair still.

It was as if every muscle in your body was on high alert, your hands wandering as you tried to bring your boyfriend to his limit sooner. He trembled under your touch, your name dripping from his maw as he sighed breathily. You knew he’d come any second now, his cock throbbing and twitching under your tongue. You always could tell when he was about to come and so you pulled off, hand hastily reaching to jerk him off close to the head where he liked it most. Jeongguk’s voice shook as you asked him where he wanted to finish. Without so much as a few words uttered, you positioned his cock towards your face and let his hand engulf yours to take him to the finish line.

His voice was gruff as he let out his final moans, utter bliss taking over his body while he began to release along your mouth and down your chin. It was more than just messy, but that was how you two liked it; oddly enough.

Jeongguk’s body released all of the tension that had strung it tight just moments ago, his panting causing his chest to heave where you were leant against. You allowed him to recuperate and catch his breath while you did the same, though you spent most of the time thinking of how hot it felt to be made all dirty the way he had done to you.

Something about the mess and humiliation and ultimate submission did something to you, deep and carnally.

Jeongguk didn’t mind, in fact, he embraced that kinkier side of you and even went along with it as he discovered parts of himself he never knew he contained while exploring each other’s likes and dislikes. You’d taught him a lot and allowed him to flourish in this sort of area, to both of your satisfactions.

You couldn’t help yourself as you dipped down to mess with his dick again, licking and kissing and occasionally sucking it despite the softening of the organ. Jeongguk would make noises and jostle some but he allowed you to enjoy yourself, knowing you were next to be pleased.

“Alright baby, that’s enough. It’s sensitive,” Jeongguk semi-whined, sounding cuter than his dominant self was just a few mere moments ago. You looked up and beamed with pride at how you made Jeongguk turn into a soft pile of goo, all with some good oral practice and a little bit of creativity. “Don’t you think it’s your turn now?”

Quivers took over your body as you imagined just how Jeongguk would even out the score for the night, knowing neither of you ever could handle doing this just once during a night like this. No, you two would be here for a few hours at least; taking turns and switching between cuddling and fooling around.

“Baby girl, you have to make a mess on me now.”

You’d certainly be here for a while for sure. Not that either of you minded, clearly.

[calliecat93]

ST: The Next Generation S4 Watchthrough Episodes 2-5

Family: I fully expected the episode after the whole Borg thing would just be another typical episode that maybe brought it up, but otherwise be business as usual. Thank God that they didn’t go that route. This was the follow-up needed, a calmer, more introspective episode. No aliens. No politics or social issues. No heavy action. Just a cool-down, character-driven episode to let the audience breathe and allow character development. Picard of course is the big plot, going back to France (is this a joke because Patrick Stewart is British?) to reconnect with his family and deal with the trauma of the Borg assimilation. Robert is kind of an ass… but he does care about Picard and does ultimately help him open up about the trauma. Seriously, Patrick Stewart’s acting in that scene? 100% perfect. I like his sister-in-law and nephew as well and I liked finally seeing Earth outside a Starfleet base/an area not technologically advanced. We also met Worf’s adopted parents! While they’re a little much, they clearly love Worf, did their best to adjust in properly raising a Klingon child, and I’m just glad to see some actual competent/caring parents in something. Crusher and Wesley’s plot isn’t much… but not gonna lie, if my mom hadn’t been in the room I’d have likely cried. Wesley watching the hologram of his deceased dad… while Wil Wheaton’s acting was a little underwhelming… yeah God that hit far too close. My dad died three years ago and I still get choked up about it sometimes. And when Crusher was going through Jack’s belongings and picking up his uniform? Just… damn. I’m so glad to see an episode that just… lets the characters develop and grow without having to add a whole bunch of melodrama or an over-complicated plot or anything like that. It’s about family, and it was freakin’ perfect. 5/5.

Brothers: Well… I should have seen this coming eventually. Lore is back folks. Oh but it’s not just him. After three seasons, we finally meet the infamous Dr. Soong. Guess this is why Data wasn’t in the last episode, his family issues needed one all their own. So first… Brent Spiner deserves every freakin’ acting Emmy ever because he played all three of these characters. Yep, all three at the same time in the same episode. And he plays all three with great distinction and character and… the man is freakin’ good. The whole episode was just… damn. The first half where Data essentially hijacks everything.. yeah if Data ever went evil, everyone would be screwed. That was legit horrifying… though why they left Data alone on the bridge when something was clearly wrong with him I’ll never know. As for Dr. Soong himself… I’m not sure how to feel about him. Oh as a character he’s great. Brent Spiner really put a lot into him. I’m just not sure whether to call him out or feel bad for him… but maybe that’s part of the point. And Lore? Well… while he’s certainly evil… I actually felt bad for him? I can’t blame him for being angry and resentful because… yeah him being deactivated/disassembled while Data got to live out a life and shown clear favoritism is very understandable. He truly feels like the angry older brother whole Data is the younger, more inquisitive brother not quite sure what to think. Soong does seem to regret decommissioning Lore, especially now that he’s dying (which Lore’s actual emotional reaction… it was possibly an act but IDT it was, again excellent work by Brent Spiner), and it does feel like he summoned the two (even if Lore was unintentional since he didn’t know he’d been reassembled) to make some form of amends, but IDK if it’s legit regret or some form of ego. It really feels open to interpretation or perhaps a mix of both. Despite that, Soong being killed by Lore who escapes with the emotion chip not designed for him implanted to wreak havoc again in the future… yeah him accepting that it’s over and his and Data’s goodbye with Data calling him ‘father’… again, just perfect. This whole episode was perfect, Event the subplot with the two kids was done well and served as a good parallel to the Data and Lore situation. Those two were able to forgive… but I don’t think it will be that simple for Data. I’m still hoping that Data gets happy things later (WHEN DOES HE GET HIS KITTY?! I WANT HIM TO GET HIS KITY!), but still a fantastic episode. 5/5.

Suddenly Human: So in this episode, we have a human boy who was raised by an alien culture known as the Talarians. Due to being raised among them, he acts and views himself as a Talarian moreso than he does a human. Well… that’s certainly an interesting episode topic. It’s kind of like with Worf, a Klingon, having been raised by humans, albeit they did try to keep his Klingon heritage intact as much as they could. I think that this may be the first tme we’ve had a human being raised in an alien culture? Spock may have kinda counted, but he was half-Vulcan, half-human, and still had both parents so that’s still a different situation compared to someone born and raised human until his parents died and was taken into the very group that caused their deaths. I guess the title character in Charlie X back during TOS may have also counted, which I do get similar vibes from especially the whole ‘captain super awkwardly stepping up as a father figure against his will’ part… albeit I feel more sympathetic towards Jono than Charlie who went thoroughly power-mad, plus Charlie very clearly didn’t want to go back to the aliens. Jono just wants to go home. Honestly… IDK how to feel about the situation. I get wanting to have Jono connect to his human roots and being concerned about him being among the Talarians who have a… rather ruthless, very patriarchal lifestyle. However, the man who took him in does genuinely love him and it does seem like he’s been accepted into their world and he’s content with that. It’s where I get the crew’s concerns and while a little too excessive Crusher’s concern about Stockholm Syndrome does make sense somewhat… but I’m also like ‘this is his choice, if that is what he wishes then grant it to him.” . Trying to make him get in touch with his roots as though they know what’ best for him when they absolutely don’t, no matter how well-intentioned… yeah don’t agree with that. Even if he has remaining family on Earth, then as sad as it is, he gets to make that choice for his life no matter what the consequences may be. IDK is they intended to bring up the moral complexity of these kinds of situations because there are solid arguments that you can make for all sides here, but I do think it’s there and is very much a relevant topic in today’s world. I’m very much on the ‘make the choice for yourself and allow one to make that choice’ opinion. Allow them to learn about their heritage and the truth about how they ended up where they did, and let them decide what they’d like for themselves/how they’d like to lead their lives. Ultimately that’s what Jono did. He understands what happened and he finally expresses missing his parents and the trauma he endured due to it… but he also chose to remain with his adopted father and those who raised him, but maybe now more open in getting in touch with his Earth/human heritage. IDK if it was the right or wrong choice, but it was his choice. 4/5.

Remember Me: 🎶Though I have to say goodbye. Remember me, don't let it make you cry.🎶 Sorry, the Disney/Pixar nerd in me required me to do that XD Okay in all seriousness... guys they did it! They made an episode centering on a female character (Dr. Crusher) aND IT WAS ACTUALLY GOOD! So we have huge chunks of the crew disappearing and everyone’s memories of them wiped… except for Dr. Crusher. So… I won’t go into the plot twist here. Like with The Survivors it is really something I’d rather not spoil. But damn, I already liked Dr. Crusher… but this made me love her. The poor woman keeps questioning her sanity because of all the disappearances/memory gaps. To everyone else, nothing is out of place. To her? Everything is breaking down. I do like that the crew does listen to her and take her fears seriously. No one questions her going insane, Troi even telling her that if she thinks that something is wrong, then she’s acting as she should. Even when it’s only Crusher and Picard, despite clearly getting tired of it… Picard still listens to her and trusts her word. With how in both this and TNG they sometimes have dropped in common sense, it’s just so nice to see them treat this situation seriously and carefully and not act like Crusher is just a hysterical woman. Which she is not. While she understandably is freaked out and upset, she acts competently and intelligently especially when it’s only her left. Again, without spoiling anything, the way she gets out of it shows just how freakin’ awesome she is. Just an overall really good episode and Thank God that Dr. Crusher finally got the focus that she deserved. Sorry Pulaski, but them ditching you was worth it for this~! 4.5/5.

Wow we are off to an excellent start! Brothers may be my favorite episode in the whole show thus far. Much more to go, so hopefully the quality remains consistent. We shall see~!

[welovekpopscenarios]

Kairos (DK x Reader)

Admin: Mimi

Prompt/Ask: Can I request a smut/fluff scenario of Seokmin (Seventeen's DK). In wich he and y/n are firends, and the both of them decided to go out to drink something with their friends and, they end up doing drunk sex and realizing their feelings for each other the next morning? Sorry for my bag english lol - otaku-pass 

Fandom: SEVENTEEN

Genre: Smut, fluff

Pairings: DK x Reader

Warnings: Language, drunk sex (consensual)

Word Count: 5180

A/N: Wow, look, an actual fic! I’m so sorry I haven’t been writing/posting, college has taken up a lot of my time. And I’m even more sorry I kept you waiting for so long darling, so please accept this long enough fic as an apology, I hope you enjoy it! I hope to get back into the swing of things now, I enjoyed writing this one and my love for writing is slowly coming back to me. As always, happy reading!

The texture of the glass felt cool on your lips as you tilted your head back, the burning sensation of alcohol causing you to wince momentarily as you swallowed the strange shot Seokmin had insisted your group of friends try. The bitter taste in your mouth had you grimacing, your head already light from the previous drinks you had bought. You heard a satisfied sigh coming from your right, and looked over to see Seokmin placing his shot glass back onto the table, smacking his lips and looking over in your direction with a cheeky grin. Various colours from the strobe lights danced across his face as he levelled you with his familiar smile.

“What the hell did I just drink?” you asked, pushing the shot glass away from you and leaning back in your cushioned seat. Looking around, you observed your friend’s various stages of drunkenness – from near sober and still standing like Joshua (you still have no idea how he was convinced to come out), to almost black out drunk and completely incoherent like Seungkwan, who keeps attempting to sing some old 80’s song but is too drunk to form an actual word. Seokmin slung an arm around your shoulders and tucked you in close to his side, rubbing his cheek against the top of your head, his mindless humming sending vibrations from his chest to your body.

“A Pink Pussy,” he replied, sending himself into a fit of giggles and you had to do a double take after nearly choking on your own spit, your tipsy mind not processing things as fast as it usually does. Somewhere to your left, you could somehow make out Seungkwan’s mutterings over the boom of the music in the nightclub, but paid no attention as you kept your eyes on Seokmin, who was currently doubled over in hysterical laughter, clutching his stomach as he tried to formulate a sentence between his laughing fit.

“A what?” you asked incredulously, grinning back at Seokmin in shock, a brow raised in question when he deemed himself ready to answer you.

“Pink Pussy,” he reiterated, stopping for a second to giggle some more. “It’s made from budder-I mean butter, yeah, butterscotch Schnapps, and…strawberry liqueur,” he struggled to answer, but looked positively proud of himself when he did, eyebrows raised and eyes wandering around the group in search of praise, but pouting when he received none as everyone else was currently occupied, mainly at helping Vernon to stand up again and ultimately failing when he repeatedly falls straight on his ass from how hammered he is.

“Ah. Nice name,” you drawled, and he had to bite his lip to keep from laughing all over again. You chuckled at his childishness, the vibrations from the music moving through everyone and the hustle of the crowd on the dancefloor filling the club with a lively vibe. Checking the time on your phone – 2:26am – you reasoned that it was soon time to head home. You had deemed it your responsibility to get Seokmin home safely tonight. After all, he had stuff to do tomorrow, and asked you to sleep over at his to be his personal alarm. As if that would happen when you’re going to be horribly hungover. You’re not up for an all nighter like the gang usually pulls tonight, much preferring a bed right now. Well, you’d prefer if someone was with you in said bed, but you failed to get lucky tonight – it seems like every person in the club decided to stay away from you after seeing you arrive with a large group of guys. They could be both a blessing and a curse sometimes. “So, you get Pink Pussy a lot?” you joked, frowning when Seokmin tutted and pouted, and unusual display of annoyance for him.

“I used to, but I’ve been dry as hell lately,” he complained, lazily crossing his arms and training his eyes on them. “I haven’t met the right person, I guess,” he murmured, his eyes moving from their position to stare at you from the corners. You nodded your head sympathetically, frustration overcoming you as you ruminated on your own similar situation. Truthfully, you were up for anything, but ‘anything’ wasn’t good enough. ‘Anything’ wasn’t Seokmin. But it wasn’t like you could tell him that, that would just ruin your perfect and long friendship with him, and you’d rather have no sex for the rest of your life than lose someone like Seokmin.

“I’m the same,” you muttered bitterly, chewing at the side of your lip as you scowled at the table in front of you. Sighing through your nose, you looked over to find Seokmin staring at you intently. “I haven’t slept with anyone in forever, too. It’s been…a very long time, and, to be quite honest, with the stress of work and college and blah, blah, blah, I need a good fuck to relax me,” you said honestly, and Seokmin stared at you, mouth slightly agape and a hazed look upon his visage. You shook your head, the alcohol causing you to be uncommonly brutally honest, and began to collect your things. “I think we should head home, it’s getting late. Thank God I don’t have work tomorrow morning, I know I’ll be dead. You, however, are a busy man. C’mon, let’s go” you laughed, standing up from your seat and saying your goodbyes to the rest of the group. Seokmin frowned at you before standing up beside you, grabbing your jacket and slinging it around his arm. He patted his pockets, panic flashing across his face when he couldn’t feel his keys or phone before you held up your purse and rattled it with a laugh, the contents making a tinkling sound, indicating that you held onto his keys for him.

“Y/N!” you heard, and turned around to find Seungkwan making grabby hands at you, much like a baby would when it wanted its toy. Leaning down to hug him, he pulled you tightly to his chest and cried his goodbyes. “Be safe going hooooome! Seokminie better protect you!” he whined, and you giggled, promising him that Seokmin was perfectly capable of looking after you, even when you were both drunk as you were. “Ah, he’s such a good boy! I hope he makes his move tonight! Good luck, my love!” he drawled, promptly plonking back down onto the couch and belting out Poker Face for everyone to hear. You were about to ask him what he meant by that, but Seokmin had you by the hand, leading you out of the blazing night club and into the slightly frigid September air. He wrapped your jacket around your shoulders and you thanked him, leaning into his body when he wrapped his arm around you for the second time that night.

It was a surprisingly short walk back to his apartment, the stroll filled with broken pieces of chatter here and there. Seokmin was abnormally quiet on the walk back, a complete turnaround from his boisterous mood the entire night. It had you worried that something terrible had happened, that someone, maybe even yourself, had upset him somehow. You’ll ask him when you reach the apartment, for now, you were occupied with getting you both home safely.

Arriving at his door, you turned to face Seokmin, who’s face looked troubled, as if he was at war with himself. It was rare for Seokmin to be this quiet, and when you went to voice your concerns, Seokmin beat you to it with a rather…interesting proposition.

“I’ve been thinking, since we mentioned it at the club…uhm,” he stammered, losing his nerve the longer you stared at him in curiosity, but since he opened his mouth, he might as well get it out. He can blame it on his drunken mind tomorrow if needs be. “I…I trust you with my life, you know that, right? I can trust you with anything, and I know you’ll never judge me. You’ll always have my back, whenever and whatever.” What was he getting at?

You hummed in affirmation, albeit you were still highly confused. He took a deep breath, shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts. Looking you dead in the eye, he continued.

“Why don’t we sleep together?”

…what?

Your mouth opened and closed as you tried to answer him, confusion etched across your mind. Sleep with him? His face slowly dropped the longer you stayed silent, his resolve crumbling to his feet. Shit, this was a mistake and he was probably too drunk to realise what he was sayin-

“Like, a sleepover? I thought that’s what we’re doing.”

There was a beat of silence before he burst out laughing, bent over and letting out a deep hearty laugh at your question. You smiled confusedly at him, chuckles escaping you as well. Laughter was contagious, after all.

“I’m serious! You want to sleep in bed with me like we do when we watch movies together?” He continued to laugh, out of disbelief, adoration and nervousness. This wasn’t working like he had originally planned. “I can’t think of any other reason you’d possibly have to sleep in bed with m-oh. Oh.”

His laughter died down, finally, his nerves coming back full force as you understood his intentions clearly. You simply stared at him in silent astonishment. The streetlights seemed to amplify his paling face, and he could almost feel the weight of his offer pushing down on his shoulders. He feels regretful for asking, this could ruin your friendship and he doesn’t ever want that to happen. Maybe it’s not too late, he can still use the ‘drunk rambles’ card.

“Look, just forget what I sa-“

“Let’s do it.”

He looked up from his shoes in bewilderment, thinking you to be joking, yet you looked sure of yourself, perhaps a little nervous. The way you saw it, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and you could worry about your friendship when you’re horribly sober in the morning. Right now, you’re tipsy, giddy, and you have the chance to sleep with the one person you’ve been in love with for years. You weren’t about to turn it down, especially since he was the one doing the offering.

“It’s just sex, right? And we’re…we’re friends. It doesn’t have to be weird. And I trust you too. So, let’s do it. I’m ok with it,” you stated, swallowing the ball of anxiety down. His eyes were as wide as saucers, and he stood stock still as he comprehended your words.

“You…are you sure?” he settled for asking when he couldn’t think of anything else. You nodded firmly, and once again it was quiet as Seokmin debated on what to do. After a moment, he made his decision, and moved towards you, stepping slowly into your space. He leaned his face towards yours, brushing his nose against yours softly, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. After what feels like years, his lips finally touch yours; pillowy soft and perfect. They move tentatively on yours, testing the waters, giving you a chance to back out if you wish, but you press back, and it’s the unspoken yes he was looking for.

He starts to kiss you more passionately, devouring your mouth as if he were a man starved of something only you could give him. His tongue ran along the seam of your lips and you gasped in surprise, mouth opening enough for him to slip past the entrance and captivate you with his tongue. You let him take the lead, tongue dominating you and pressing your body against the door, too dizzy with lust to object. When his hips shifted to press to yours, you were brought back to reality with the painful digging of the door handle on your back. Completing the impossible task of pulling away from his saccharine lips, you placed a quick kiss to his confused, furrowed brows and then turned around, fumbling blindly with his keys in the lock until you cracked open the door.

Rushing in the door, Seokmin wasted no time in grabbing your hand, kicking the front door closed, and leading you to his bedroom, the route from the door through his hallways ingrained into his brain. Throwing open your bedroom door, he tears off his jacket and you do the same, flinging your shoes off as you go, wincing slightly at the loud thud when they hit off his dresser. That’s a problem for tomorrow, right now, as if a switch went off, your body was buzzing with desire. You needed Seokmin.

You took hold of his face between your hands and kissed him hard, lips moving frantically over his, a messy clash of tongues and teeth and need. His hands took hold of your waist, squeezing minutely and travelling further down to your backside, kneading the flesh over the fabric of your dress. You moaned into his mouth and he swallowed the delicious sound, eagerly matching the ferocity of your kisses with his own. He groaned when your hands slid up into his hair and tugged, subconsciously feeling your ass with more vigour, walking backwards to his bed.

When his knees hit the edge, he allowed himself to fall, hands latching onto your hips and pulling you down with him. You straddled his lap on instinct, thighs wrapping around his hips as his forearms wrapped around your lower back and pulled you closer to his chest, effectively placing your hips flush against his. You could feel his member beginning to strain in his trousers, and you grinded against it, pleasure shooting through your body at the friction against your core. He moaned aloud as you continued to gyrate your hips above his, breath caught in your chest, growing wetter at the feeling. He bit your lower lip in warning, if you kept doing that he wasn’t going to last long, because you looked so unbelievably gorgeous with your eyes fluttering in lust, panting into his mouth and little moans escaping your pretty kiss swollen lips.

Your fingers fumbled blindly with the hem of his shirt, moving it upwards and off his chest, revealing his toned and tanned chest. You revelled in the firmness of his chest and abs, fingers roaming the expanse of skin before looking up to see Seokmin’s cheeky grin. Rolling your eyes, you were about to make a comment on his vanity until you felt his hands move under your dress and begin to push the material off your body, returning the favour in kind. Leaning back to allow him to remove it, he made quick work of the fabric, hauling it somewhere across the room, lost to the floor. His eyes nearly fell out of his sockets when he found out you were without your bra tonight, and you silently thanked your lucky stars for having the idea to go without it for tonight.

You held onto his shoulders and moved your chest in his vision, and he was quick to latch his mouth onto a nipple, swirling the bud around and nibbling lightly on it, making you hiss out at the sensation. He kissed it in apology and moved onto the other one, hand coming up to lavish at your chest, squeezing the flesh in such a pleasing way, one that had you rearing your head back to let out an embarrassingly loud moan. He smirked against your chest and continued to mouth at your breasts, reaching a hand between your legs to rub at your soaked panties. You whined at the touch, hips following his fingers in need of more. That simple touch was enough to have you melting in his arms, and thankfully Seokmin decided he needed you now.

He struggled to unbutton his pants and push them down his legs but eventually he got it, kicking them off and moving his boxers down to his ankles. The position you were currently in was how he intended to take you – it allowed him to hold you close and fuck you into a mess, giving him the perfect view as you crumbled, so perfectly intimate. Scooting into a more secure position on the bed, he moved your panties to the side and ran his fingers along your dripping slit, getting even more aroused at how sopping wet your pussy was. He was proud of himself that he had half a mind to think about protection, even in his inebriated and lustful state, and when you mumbled against his mouth that you were on the pill, it was all he needed before he pushed his steel member into you.

Your walls clenched around him as you adjusted to the wonderful stretch, distracted by the butterfly kisses and nips on your neck. Threading your fingers through his hair, you lifted your hips once you were comfortable enough to move, and Seokmin sighed shakily, hands gripping onto your hips to help lift you up and down. Soon enough a steady pace was formed, a pace that had you bouncing on his dick as he held onto you, kissing you as furiously as his thrusts. Your mind was washing over in waves of pleasure, hitting every nerve in your body and sending you to a place so heavenly you were sure it wasn’t real. Seokmin was the only thing on your mind; how he looked, tasted, felt. And you allowed yourself to be greedy and yearn for more of him.

His voice dropped an octave lower when he spoke, so completely thick with desire and sex, and the deep rumble in his chest brushing with yours had you keening, eyes clenching shut in ecstasy, amazed at the simplicity of his voice sending you further down the hole of pleasure. “Fuck, baby,” he grunted, hot breath fanning across your chest between nips and kisses. “You look so good, riding me like that.” A bead of sweat formed on his forehead, stray hairs clinging to his skin, brows furrowed in concentration, making sure you were getting satisfied like him. And you certainly were. “Shit, I’ve waited so long for this,” he whispered out airily, hiding his flushed face in the crook of your neck and planting sloppy kisses along the skin. You didn’t quite catch what he had said, too lost in chasing your approaching high than to pay proper attention.

“I-I’m close,” you moaned, and Seokmin took the initiative to speed up his thrusts, the lewd sounds of skin on skin getting louder in the space of his room, and you bit your lip harshly, a failed attempt at containing the moans spilling from your lips. Fuck, this was so perfect. You knew it would be; long, lonely nights of dreaming how Seokmin would fuck you, how he’d feel inside of you instead of your fingers, how he’d sound – he was quite the singer, and they say singers are the loudest in bed. He doesn’t disappoint in any area – well built, sinful moans escaping into the heated air, and downright amazing at fucking – you almost wish you had done this sooner, friendship be damned.

He snaked a hand from your back to your throbbing clit, pressing his thumb firmly and swirling it in figure 8 motions, and you nearly collapsed at the feeling, your senses overloaded in every crevice of your body. “C’mon baby, cum for me,” he ordered, and you obeyed, unravelling at his deep command, staring deep into his obsidian eyes as your body went ram rod straight in his lap, a drawn out moan the only thing leaving your swollen lips apart from incoherent mumbles of his name. He continued to pound into you, desperate to finish with you, and when you kissed him hard and moaned ‘Seokmin’ into his mouth, it was enough to bring him to his end, hips snapping still as he released into your warmth, your walls milking him for all he’s worth.

He held your body close to him, sticky and flushed from your exertions, rocking you back and forth. The movement served to ease your exhausted body, lulling you into a sleep as you rested your head on his shoulder. Your eyes fluttered shut when his fingers began to brush through your hair, untangling the strands, and soon you were asleep, knocked into oblivion with Seokmin in your dreams and a small smile on your sleeping face.

Laying you both back onto his mattress, Seokmin threw the covers over your naked forms, too tired to do any cleaning up. That can be dealt with tomorrow, when morning came. Admittedly, a knot of anxiety formed in the pit of his stomach when he thought about the approaching topic of where your friendship stands in the morning. He reasons he should leave it as a one time thing – a friendly one night stand with no feelings attached, and that when you’re both awake along with the rest of the world, everything will go back to normal and you’ll be back to being the same friends you once were. Fool, his mind argues, that is not what you want and you know it.

He knows. He’s always known, from the moment he met you all those years ago, that that is something he wouldn’t want. He wants to be able to kiss you whenever he wants, hold you whenever he wishes, call you his and have you call him yours. Maybe it really is his tipsy mind, or maybe it’s the sex bliss doing the thinking, but Seokmin decides he’s going to be brave when you open your eyes. He’s going to be honest, and he’s going to lay his heart bare for you. That could be a mistake another part of his brain whispers, but Seokmin shuts it out like he shuts his eyes, his arm wrapping around your prone form and bringing you close to his chest, burying his face in your hair. It might be a mistake, but Seokmin loves you, and he doesn’t want to hide anymore.

Your first thought after waking up?

Shit, my head fucking hurts.

Inevitable, really, when you go out drinking the night before, but along with the pain in your head, new ones mark their arrival in the form of aches between your legs and your neck. Opening your eyes, your eyes immediately squinted at the sunlight streaming in the windows, the curtains drawn back instead of closed like they should be. You hissed at the throbbing in your skull, the sunlight adding to your misery as you groaned into the pillow. Gathering the courage to open them once more, you allowed your eyes to adjust to the light, and found you were not in your own apartment. Instead, it seemed you were at Seokmin’s – not a rare occurrence, but what was rare, was the lack of clothing on your part as you lay in his bed.

All at once, the memories of the night before came flooding back into your aching brain, and with it a sense of awful, gut wrenching dread, the kind that brought a sickness to your stomach and made your limbs feel heavy. Your breathing felt ragged, and you felt too afraid to turn around and find out if Seokmin was in the same state as you. However, the truth is better than simply lying prone in this bed and waiting for him to wake up, which could prove to be just as stressful as this situation. Confrontation was not something you wanted to deal with just yet. Slowly manoeuvring your body to face the opposite direction, you’re disappointed to see the bed empty. Your hand slides over the dark sheets, a faint trace of warmth lingering in the large mattress the only indication that you weren’t the only occupant of the bed.

Swallowing down the bitter taste disappointment in your mouth, your brain kickstarted and presented to you the opportunity to leave before Seokmin catches you. This way, you can have time to decide what you’re going to say to him when the topic inevitably arises. You certainly don’t want to see this as a mistake, so if you’ve a way of bullshitting your way out of ending the friendship, despite your heartbreak, you’re willing to take it. Sitting up, you ignore the blatant pounding in your head and search the room for your clothes, eye’s flitting around the space of his bedroom. Eying your dress hiding underneath his jeans, you make your way out of the comfort of the bed, groaning quietly at the slight pain in your backside and slipping the dress on haphazardly. Next, your shoes and purse were in your hands, and upon checking the contents, you reasoned that you’d have enough for a cab back to your apartment.

Pulling open his bedroom door slowly, you tiptoed your way through the halls of the apartment, wincing at every creak of the floorboards beneath your feet. Bypassing the kitchen, you were alerted to the sound of pans and plates clanging and scraping together, followed by a quiet curse. Before you could move fast enough, footsteps made their way towards your position, and suddenly the door was thrown open. You were met with Seokmin wearing a slightly frustrated expression, and the most ridiculous yet glorious bed head you’ve ever seen. His expression morphed from frustration to shock when his eyes met yours, and that, again, shifted to nervousness. He bit his lip and trained his eyes anywhere but yours, and similarly, you were doing the same thing, fear flooding your veins like ice. You couldn’t stand the pregnant silence between the both of you, and spoke up, attempting to steady the wobble in your voice.

“Morning,” you opted for saying, internally cringing at how stupid you sounded. Seokmin smiled, though you’d describe more as an awkward grimace, and gave a quick laugh.

“Morning. How are, uh, how are you feeling?” he mumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck and sighing through his nose. Not once in his life had a conversation with you been as painful and awkward as this one. But he supposes the elephant in the room was too big for you both to carry on as if nothing happened last night.

Because however drunk he may have been last night, he knows that last night, holding you in his arms, it was the best night he’s experienced, and he knows without a shadow of a doubt in his mind that’s he’d do it all over again if you’d let him.

You nearly balked at his question but collected yourself quickly, scratching at the skin of your arms lightly. “I-I’m fine,” you lied, keeping your focus on the wall beside his head. “My head kills though,” you tried to joke, but your chuckle sounded weak. Seokmin nodded, muttering that his own hurt as well, and you nodded in response. God, you just wanted to exit this conversation, it was physically paining you to stand here and pretend everything was ok, to stand the churning of your stomach getting worse with each passing second, anxiety balling up deep within your gut and tearing you apart.

“I-uh, made some food! If you…want to join me,” he offered weakly, his face dropping at your regretful expression. You felt absolutely horrible, he was probably trying to be nice to you before breaking the news that last night with you was a mistake. How pitiful you must seem.

“I’m actually going to go home, Min,” you explained, starting to back toward the direction of the front door as Seokmin followed you. “I have things to do, you know? I’m…busy. But thank you! For the offer, I mean! That’s really sweet of you, and I’m sorry to leave like this.”

Seokmin nodded numbly at you, a torn look upon his visage as he watched you turn and go, getting closer and closer to the door and out of his life. Just before your hand could reach the door handle, however, Seokmin caught it in his, his calloused hand holding yours so delicately, like glass that he wouldn’t want to break. You stared at him in apprehension, wanting nothing more than to leave and cry into your pillow at home. You did not want to hear the dreaded words of rejection leave his beautiful lips. You felt bile rising up your throat. You need to leave.

“Don’t,” he whispered, and you looked at him on confusion.

“What?”

“Don’t go,” he answered, and you were stupefied. “Please don’t go. Please don’t regret last night, because I don’t. Don’t run away, because I can honestly say that last night was the best night of my life because of you. You don’t understand how long I’ve wanted to kiss you, to touch you, to…” he shook his head, as if to shake away the rambling inside his head. His mouth was like a tap, words overflowing like water, and he was too weak to stop it. The more words that came out of his mouth, the lighter his shoulders felt. “And I know that things between us are weird now because of it, but please, don’t go. I love being your friend, but I’d prefer to be much more than that, I always have. It killed me to see you with other guys, guys who didn’t treat you as right as they should. I’ve only ever wanted you from the moment we met all those years ago, but I was too much of a coward to do anything. Figures drink is the only way I could ever make a move,” he muttered disdainfully, self-loathing seeping from his being as you stood in front of him. It was unpleasant to stand here and watch him like this, such a drastic change from his usual cheery disposition that you know him for. He met your eyes once again, looking you dead in the eye and staring straight through your soul as he spoke. “Please don’t leave me,” his voice wavered, as fickle as running water.

You shook your head no, stepped into his body, grabbed his face and planted a kiss on his precious lips. He was surprised for a moment before he reciprocated in kind, pulling you close to him and kissing you passionately, sighing in content into your mouth. This kiss was better than all of last night’s; you could feel the love emanating from him as his arms wrapped around you, the erratic beating of his heart in time with yours, his smile against your lips. Everything feels so much better now that you weren’t clouded with alcohol, now that the elephant in the room has finally left the building. Pulling back for air, you gazed into his brown orbs that were squinting from how hard he was smiling.

“I’m not leaving, Seokmin. Not for anything. I love you too much to do that,” you confessed, and if it was possible, his smile got even wider, ready to break his face. “Now, give me some of that delicious breakfast you cooked for me and we’ll eat it in bed, huh?”

[magpiewindwitch]

In Memoriam - A Lockwood and Co Fanfic

Written for the @lockwoodandcobigbang. Thanks to @theladysherlock for betaing!

Summary: Two years after Lucy and Lockwood were killed facing an ominous Visitor, their spirits have begun to manifest in the warehouse where they died. The remaining members of Lockwood and Co decide to take the case, opening old wounds, in honor of the friends whose loss has haunted them ever since.

“This shouldn’t be happening,” George said thickly.

Quill glanced up from his notepad. “Sorry, what was that?”

“Nothing,” George muttered. He gazed up at the squat, ugly windows of the warehouse in silence for a moment before abruptly changing his mind and going on. “It was quiet for two years. There was no sign of any psychic echoes. This shouldn’t be happening.”

Quill watched him for a moment, waiting to see if he would continue. As the moments limped past and George didn’t pull his eyes down to look at him, Quill returned to writing in his notepad. The temperatures lined up in neat rows and columns like child soldiers awaiting their marching orders, but there was something anxious about them still. “Hauntings are temperamental, George. You know that,” he reasoned. “Thing is, it’s not terribly unusual for changes in the environment to shake things loose. If they changed anything in the warehouse… Or even one of the nearby buildings, if any of them were storing a lot of iron or silver—”

“I know,” George snapped. Quill looked up again, surprised by the bite in his voice. George had surprised himself, too, and felt his mouth twist a little with guilt. “It just… I wish it had stayed quiet.”

“Yeah, of course you do. You’d rather be back at home with a comic letting your bottom expand. But we’re here, so perhaps finish your readings before we all die of old age,” Quill responded, squinting at his own numbers and scratching away.

They had cut it a bit close. While the sun had not hit the horizon yet, the air was beginning to cool and the light already felt thin and aqueous on George’s face. Quill was right; time was of the essence. They had the entire inside of the warehouse left to survey. While some faint phenomena—mostly creeping fear and intermittent miasma—had been reported in the yard outside, the real apparitions occurred within the building. They’d surveyed it in daylight before, of course. It was a storage area, mostly, filled with boxes and boxes of car parts waiting to be shipped to their destination. The ground floor had an open plan, albeit one currently broken up by a maze of stacked boxes. The second floor was empty at the moment, with the exception of a few disused offices crammed with file cabinets.

In spite of that, it would become treacherous after dark. The high stacks of crates were as good as walls, hemming them in and cutting them off at unexpected points. They’d be placing as many iron circles as they could without dampening their psychic senses too severely. In a way, the second floor would be worse. Without anything to use for cover, they’d be forced immediately into a direct confrontation if anything manifested there.

“Done over here,” Quill called from near the adjacent wall. As he fiddled with his tool belt, placing and replacing his notepad as if his hands hadn’t memorized every inch of its contents, Flo came up from behind them.

“Nothing, just like I said. Might as well be anywhere else in London,” Flo complained loudly.

Quill jumped and cursed. “Alright, thanks,” George said. Flo’s practiced surliness bothered him much less than Quill’s snarky composure. He knew the latter would crack as night fell, if not even sooner than that. Quill wore his worry in his face and frame, even when he wasn’t jumping and yelping like a bad tempered Chihuahua at the slightest provocation. Flo kept hers to herself, flying rude and unflappable into the most dangerous of encounters. George wondered if she felt her fear all the deeper for holding it in, and which was worse for keeping ghosts at bay. But for now, It didn’t matter. Evening wasn’t going to slow its approach, and they were going into this haunting the same people they’d always been.

“Thanks for appearing unannounced. I love being surprised by vicious, foul-smelling apparitions at haunted houses,” Quill snipped, glowering at Flo.

“It’s a haunted warehouse, and you can eat my-”

“Alright, even Kipps has got an imagination. He can put the rest together himself,” George interrupted. “It’s about time we head in.”

Quill’s sneer closed to a tight line as his thin lips pressed together. Flo did nothing, although George wondered if her scowl got a little deeper. After a moment he began to plod forward, appreciating the crunch of autumn leaves under his work boots. Once they entered and until daybreak, every sound would have to be second-guessed. It was goodbye to the world of the living, at least for the night.

He fumbled with the keys, taking as much time as he could without being conspicuous. It was always a bad idea to hesitate, of course, but he couldn’t help himself. After a moment the small side door swung open, complaining out of tune as it did. George pushed through, footsteps echoing very slightly in the stillness. Somehow the place was even uglier on the inside. The exterior of the warehouse was like any rundown industrial building just outside of London. Nondescriptly hideous. Inside, it seemed somehow resentful, as if it were glaring at George though all of those windows. He shook the fanciful thoughts from his head. He was an agent, not a frightened child. Buildings were just buildings, with no feelings, no anger, and no intent.

The things that died in them, however, were an entirely different matter.

Flo and Quill filed in behind him, ranging within a few feet of the door. The aisles of shelves and crates grew outwards, doubling back on themselves in ways that they shouldn’t have. Not for the first time, George felt a twinge of resentment. The best thing about industrial buildings was their haggard, organized predictability. The way an agent could keep the layout clear in the back of his mind and focus on the visitor. They wouldn’t even have that, tonight.

“Well, let’s split up. Flo, you take the upstairs by yourself. It’s open, so It shouldn’t take you long. If we’re still stumbling through stacks when you get done, start at the bottom and work your way out towards Kipps and me. I’d estimate we have an hour until sundown, so we’ll need to work quick. Eyes and ears open. Minds on, hearts off.”

Quill nodded and began to pull his notepad out of his tool belt. George wondered if he was searching for ways to stall a bit, too—there was a lot of that going around. If Quill hadn’t wanted to take a couple of seconds to fumble around in his pockets, he might as well never have put the damned thing away. Suddenly, George realized that Flo hadn’t moved. Her eyes were fixed on some distant spot high against the wall, and George was seized with an immediate, illogical panic that the manifestations had begun already. He wasn’t ready to see them, not yet. “What is it?” He asked her, trying to keep his fear from his voice.

Flo didn’t move and her eyes didn’t clear. “Wish Holly was here,” she muttered.

George stared. It was possibly the only thing she could have said that would have shocked him more than ghosts before sunset, but there it was. In spite of her quiet voice, in spite of the fact that she mumbled seemingly to hide her own words, he’d heard her clear enough. “Sorry, what?” He spluttered. He knew exactly what she’d said, but wasn’t quite sure how to respond.

“Nothing. Forget it,” she snapped, before disappearing at a lope behind a nearby shelf. Although her footsteps were still clearly audible and Quill hadn’t even rounded the corner on his side yet, George had a sudden sense of being alone. He shook off his surprise and flipped open his grubby notepad. He found himself pushing back a sudden, unfair anger towards Flo. Apparently, he would have to expect pointless emotionalism from her as well as Quill tonight. George was never particularly interested in accounting for his own feelings, much less those of his employees.

At the same time, he felt a twinge of guilt for being upset with her. He wasn’t even sure when he’d last heard her mention Holly. Once, not too long after she’d left, he made the mistake of asking Flo how she was holding up and had nearly joined the ranks of the unquiet dead for his trouble. “I’m fine, ain’t I?” Flo had snarled. “Holly was a coward, so she made like one and scarpered. It’s what cowards do. And I got no need for ‘em, so I got no need for her, either.” That, for obvious reasons, had been that as far as trying to comfort Flo went. Perhaps he should have tried harder. Perhaps he should have tried to make Holly’s excuses, in the hope that it made things make a bit more sense in a world that didn’t quite want to.

But at the same time, he half-wondered if she was right. Holly had just up and left them, because it was easier than facing her own guilt. She was the one who was supposed to be on watch that night, double-checking that the bars over the windows were closed and that the doors leading out of Portland Row remained locked after dark. She’d sworn up and down that she’d checked every last one twice, and she was so methodical that George personally believed her. They were agents—they knew as well as anyone that powers beyond understanding could always foul things up, no matter how careful you were. Regardless, what had happened had happened, and Holly had disappeared. She hadn’t even left a forwarding address. On his moodiest, most morbid nights, George thought she seemed almost as dead as the others.

Oh perfect. Now he’d have his own sentimentality to deal with, as well. Lockwood and Company was in a fine state, and it wasn’t even sundown. As George chewed himself out for his complete lack of professionalism and good common sense, he began working his way through his row of stacks. “56 by the door,” he announced for Quill’s benefit.

It was a mistake. As soon as George broke the silence, Quill began to babble. George made a mental note to send him upstairs with Flo next time. “I wish we hadn’t taken this job.”

“We agreed it should be us, Kipps,” George responded wearily. They’d talked themselves in circles about whether or not to go, just as they’d talked themselves in circles two years before about whether or not to change the name of the company. They’d had the same argument every night, but somehow no one was ever on the same side for long enough to reach a consensus. Once, they’d actually made up their mind to change it, start their lives over. They’d had the paperwork all done up and everything, but once they’d gotten down to the office to turn it in they all hesitated, waiting for someone else to be the first to step over the threshold, and finally they’d turned around and gone back home.

Eventually, they didn’t so much decide to keep the name as much as they simply stopped talking about it, and the name stayed by default. It was the worst possible decision. It didn’t give them any sort of freedom or closure, but their inability to decide still felt like a betrayal. It was the first time George failed them as a leader, and he felt the weight of it any time someone had to answer the phone with a dead boy’s name.

“It’s not as if it’s going to make any difference to them,” Quill continued. “They won’t even know us, Cubbins. All it’s going to do is make us-”

“I know, Kipps.” George was surprised by the sound of his own voice. Whereas inside he felt like a bundle of lit firecrackers lashed together, each one pointing a different direction and trying to shake itself free from the others, on the outside he sounded confident. There was an appropriate level of remorse and understanding, of course, but he sounded as if this were the only clear and logical course of action and he didn’t doubt it in the slightest. That was, of course, entirely untrue. He thought of his hypocrisy—his confession to Quill that he wished things hadn’t been stirred up, his moment of doubt with the keys—and his stomach twisted a little. Still, it was nice to know he sometimes helped his agents keep their heads on straight. “Look, it’s not going to be nice and it won’t feel good. But we’ll know we were there, and that we did what we had to do. They were our colleagues as well as our friends. We owe them that.”

It was clearly the last word on the subject. Quill didn’t say anything more, other than comparing temps from the other side of the stacks. They got done faster than George expected (probably because he hadn’t accounted for Quill being on-task and focused, for once) and met up with Flo just as she came down the stairs.

“Nothing of interest up there. Colder than a corpse’s snot, but just as quiet,” she said matter-of-factly. Her uninterested expression didn’t fool George after what she said before she left, but he nodded and didn’t question her. Without speaking, they began putting on their gear. Their bags were heavier than usual. Not only did they need an extra source of confidence tonight of all nights, but they weren’t sure exactly what they were dealing with. They had no idea how powerful those two painfully familiar apparitions would be, as they’d only recently began to appear. They also weren’t sure whether or not the spirit they’d originally been called in to study would be active or not. No manifestations of it had been reported after that fateful night two years ago, and nothing in his research suggested that would change, but George didn’t want to count on it keeping its distance. Without a clear understanding of how many Visitors they’d be fighting or how powerful they were, he wasn’t about to take any chances, and had made sure that they were double-stocked on just about everything.

Their psychic corrective aids also added a bulk they hadn’t had to contend with when they were younger. Quill had refused to part with his his old pair of goggles, although the so-called Rotwell’s (now entirely absorbed into the Fittes empire, in spite of the name) now produced lighter, sleeker designs for mass consumption. Add to that their bulky sets of Para-Ears spectral headphones, and George always thought his team had a buggy, overbalanced look, like flies walking on their hind legs. But it had let them keep their jobs, and good thing too. Not many adults had rushed in to protect London when given the psychic tools to do so. Funny how people who had always lamented the use of children to fight Visitors now found so many reasons not to do it themselves.

“Right,” he said, as they finished gearing up. “Well, it’s just about dark now. If the information we got off of the workers is good, I wouldn’t give it more than fifteen or twenty minutes before we—”

“Lockwood?”

George froze mid-sentence. It was another huge blunder so far as maintaining his composure was concerned, but he couldn’t help it. He’d thought they had a little more time. Clearly, he’d been wrong.

George’s skin crawled. It was a tiny sound, more like a breath on the ear than a real spoken word. He’d missed and dreaded that voice so much that George almost could have believed he’d made himself imagine it, if not for the fact that the others had stiffened at just the same moment.

She’d manifested first. Of course she had. When all was said and done, her psychic abilities had always been stronger. It was more of a curse than a blessing in the end. George pushed back thoughts of those last few months, when her trances got longer and deeper. When they’d all tried to stop her from taking cases, but the compulsion—the terrible connection that drew her to the Visitors—had become almost unbearable for her. When she had slipped out on her own they’d all separated, rushed to the sites of active cases to search. They’d all looked, but none of them had found her, as their presence today proved. George had a theory that that brief stint in the other side had connected the two of them, and that they’d been drawn together at the end. Regardless, it had been him who found her that night, the perfect cap to the deadly drama that had unwound around them. As to their final moments, the prevailing theory among the DEPRAC agents was that she’d been drawn into a memory or connection so deep she was left defenseless and unable to wake up. He’d stayed, tried to protect her from something far too powerful to face on his own, and—

It didn’t much matter, George thought; the end result had been the same. And now she was gathering. Soon she would be here, in a cruel and empty sense. She wouldn’t know them or love them. She would be vacant.

They swung into a beleaguered triangle at the sound of her voice, each facing out into the aisles. George’s hands trembled at his side, so he shoved them into his pockets to keep his fear and the renewed throbbing in his chest to himself. His eyes scanned the shelves in front of him, sweeping the warehouse with a mix of fear and nervous hunger.

Behind him and to his right, Quill gasped suddenly. “There! I- I saw her. I think I did, anyway. It was something. It must have been…” They had all swung around. Whatever had been there was gone, but George had no doubt that Quill had seen it.

He felt his agents’ eyes on him as they waited for him to decide how to proceed. It amazed him now to think that he’d wanted this, a long time ago. On his worst days, his bitterest days, he’d often found himself jealous of his dearest friend. He’d wondered so many times what it felt like to be the leader, to feel all eyes on you and know just what to do. Now he realized that you usually didn’t have a clue what to do, and that you simply went ahead and did it anyway.

“Alright,” George murmured, “then let’s begin.”

[themeatlife]

The End of Thrones

Two out of the three major entertainment series that were scheduled to end this year have now happened. The Avengers Infinity Saga a few weeks ago (and still breaking records), Game of Thrones now, and the Star Wars Skywalker Saga in December. We have had eight seasons building up to this. To wrap this up, I’ll go over ending relevant series’ including Game of Thrones, my five favorite episodes, and the impact of Game of Thrones on pop culture. Let’s dive in!

The Journey Is More Important Than The End or The Start

To quote a remix of Linkin Park’s In the End, I feel it is important to know especially when looking back at your favorite television series. The journey. Treasure the journey. I often cite Lost as a prime example. So many were angry about the final season of Lost and series finale leaving so many things, particularly the conspiracy of the island type stuff, open ended. But Lost was never a show that centered around the conspiracy of the island or the mythology around it. While that was featured heavily, it was never the focus. The focus was the characters. What the Lost finale did was emotionally wrap up the character arcs. The same can be said with The Office. All the characters arcs have a definitive and satisfying ending.

A more recent example is the MCU. While the Marvel Cinematic Universe is a series of movies, it is told similarly to a television series, only on a bit larger scale. Marvel fans have been spoiled with the Avengers: Endgame sewing up their original six’s character arcs. We saw the completion of most of their stories in a, for the most part, satisfying way. And while there will be more Marvel movies in the MCU, it was a definitive ending for the Infinity Saga.

Much has been made of this last season of Game of Thrones. While I am of the opinion that the storytelling of this final season isn’t quite up to par with previous seasons, I was still taken on one hell of a ride. But why all the hate? Some fans on the extreme end of things don’t like how things are going and scream about it the loudest. It is very similar to the sometimes scary and toxic reaction Star Wars extreme fans took to The Last Jedi. But the thing is, not every series, no matter how big or expansive, has to service the fan. If you want an emotionally realistic story told, sometimes you won’t like some of the outcomes.

For me, it’s almost never about the ending. The ending is only a small part of an entire storyline. And for Game of Thrones, it was a great story.

——-Spoilers here!——-

I’ve always thought of Game of Thrones as the story of House Stark. While much of the series focused on other families and characters surrounding them, as a viewer you were always directed to the Stark story. They went through so much misery throughout the storyline, but the surviving children of Ned Stark (I’ll still consider Jon Snow as Ned’s kid even though his patronage is otherwise) each have a fitting end.

While I think Jon got a crappiest end, killing his love to save the realm and giving up a path to the throne in the process, I did like that he was reunited with the Wildlings. Arya left Westeros to explore what is out west (I joked with my wife that she went to discover America). Sansa declared the North independent and became Queen in the North. And Bran became King of the six remaining kingdoms, with Tyrion becoming Hand and many of our faves remain to advise.

I do think Daenerys got the raw end of the storytelling. Her turn in the previous episode burning down King’s Landing probably works better storytelling-wise if season seven and eight were a full ten episodes, allowing that storyline to build like previous season. But alas, it happened and it was foreshadowed, albeit rushed in the compressed timeframe.

So all in all it was a solid ending to a spectacular series.

——-End of Spoilers——-

My GoT Five Faves

So I won’t put a number ranking, I will just list my five favorites from this epic journey. There are so many great episodes in this series that it was seriously hard to pick. But I feel I have a good list.

Season 1 Episode 9: Baelor

Wow. You kind of see it foreshadowed quite a bit throughout the first season when you rewatch. But initially if you were like me and didn’t read the books, it feels like you never see it coming until it happens. “When you play the game of thrones you win or you die,” and our main protagonist that we follow closely throughout the first season dies. But this event impacts and reverberates throughout the entire series.

Season 3 Episode 9: The Rains of Castamere

“The Lannisters send their regards,” and there went The King in the North Rob Stark, his new wife and Mama Stark. What is known as The Red Wedding, the Stark family loses another leader. This in conjunction with Ned’s death in season one showed audiences to be careful who you get behind, they may die. I think this episode also spawned an unhealthy practice of some fans to begin guessing games of who was next to die in the series.

Season 5 Episode 8: Hardhome

Game of Thrones is know for epic battles. This one hit hard(home haha). It was the first battle we see against the Wight Walkers, and wow did it deliver. I showed just how scary the Walkers can be if they were to get passed the wall. It raised the stakes for the threat coming from the North.

Season 6 Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards

I almost forgot how big a douche Ramsey Bolton was. In this we see the billed matchup of Jon v Ramsey. Jon’s side gets run down and Jon almost loses only to be relieved by the Knights of the Vale sent by Sansa. Before he is helped, we get that epic shot above of him and his sword about to take on hundreds.

Season 7 Episode 6: Beyond the Wall

This is basically a heist movie disguised as a Game of Thrones episode. Convinced they must get Cersei to understand the threat of the Wight Walkers, Jon, Tormund and company head north of the wall to steal a Wight. Along the way a dragon is lost as so is Thoros. Great suspenseful episode. Probably the last great episode of the series in my opinion.

The Thrones Impact on Pop Culture

While we’ve seen cinematic elements in television before (Lost is a great example of this), we’ve never seen it in this scale. HBO has been known in the past for being willing to take risks, and GoT is no exception. Just the expansive landscape alone has been a spectacular feat.

That’s why I believe it will probably be the last grand television epic, at least the last one we will see with this much mass appeal. Television today is very fragmented with so many options. When Game of Thrones started in 2011, the television landscape was only beginning to fracture and GoT was able to captivate enough viewers before all the options came that it was able to hold on and even add viewers even in its final season. I don’t know if there will be another show at least in the immediate future that will be able to garner a guaranteed 20 million viewers and make as big an intent into the pop culture lexicon.

So as television moves to the Streaming Wars between Netflix, Disney/Hulu, AT&T/Warner/HBO, Comcast/NBC, CBS and whoever else, there will be a lot of segmented viewership that would hold back any sort of epics that could come along the way from becoming the cultural phenomenon that Game of Thrones became.

Goodbye Game of Thrones. One hell of a ride.

[baronessblixen]

60! :))

I combined the prompt 60. “Oh, do thatagain.” with @leiascully exercise challenge. 

Set after “MyStruggle” most likely; around that time anyway. 

His fist raised toknock, Mulder pauses a moment, realizing he’s never been here before.

Scully’s apartment.

The first time theywere partnered, before they were ever anything else, how long did it take himto come to her place? A week, maybe? Two? He can’t remember. The forgetting, herealized early in his treatment, is a side effect of his medication. Some dayshe curses it, like he curses so many things. Other days, he accepts silently,almost joyously. When it comes to Scully and their past, though, he doesn’twant to forget even the most insignificant moment.

He knocks, finally.His knuckles tingle as he waits for her to open the door. Gone are the timeswhen they lived in the same place, coming in and going out with a kiss hello orgoodbye; gone are the days he has a key to her place. Scully has invited himover, though, for the first time in almost a year so maybe this means they’remaking progress. Or she is just tired of constantly driving out to their – nowhis, as she likes to remind him – house. Either way, he won’t complain. Hewon’t ask either, though. Mulder is not sure he’s still allowed to ask; theirrelationship, in whatever form it is, twists anew at every turn and right nowhe can’t tell where he is, where she is. Where they are. So he stays quiet,masks it with a smile, and he is certain she does the same. He’s learning totake baby steps, do one thing to get to another. The days where he jumped in,no questions asked, no action thought through, those are gone, too.

“Oh hi.”Scully greets him when the door finally opens. She stares him up and down as ifshe’s been expecting someone else.

“Why are you dressedlike that, Mulder?”

“I’m wearingcasual clothes.” He explains slowly, looking at her. Of course she’sdressed for the occasion already: tight black running shorts and a very formfitting, short sleeved running top in a deep, dark blue. Mulder tries not tostare, tries not to react, but he’s like a Pavlovian dog when it comes to her.She clears her throat and he swears he hears her amusement. Some things simplynever change. His eyes meet hers and the twinkle he sees there lets him thinktoday might be a good day for them.

“Why are youwearing casual clothes, Mulder? You can’t run in jeans.”

“I can run wearingan Armani suit, Scully, so the question is I can’t or you won’t let me?” Justlike that her mood shifts; there’s the slightest quiver around her lips thatwould go undetected by anyone who hasn’t spent the last twenty years observingher, loving her.

“Mulder…”

“I know, Iknow,” he apologizes, “I just didn’t want to scare away my Uber withmy tights.”

“Mulder, you needa car.” She finally opens the door wider and Mulder, albeit hesitantly,steps in. The apartment, he realizes, is not at all what he expected or feared.There is nothing here that screams Scully at him. A few picture frames are upand the book shelf carries a few medical journals, a couple of books. There areno personal trinkets. He sees none of the novels she still claims not to own,the ones that are full of fairytale romances, tropical settings and atrociouswriting. Mulder stumbled upon one of her dog-eared paperbacks a couple of daysago when he tried to tidy the place up. Just in case, he tells himself. In caseshe ever wants to come home.

“That’s why Itook this job, Scully. Skinner promised me a car.” She rolls her eyeswhile massaging oil into her legs. The smell reminds him of lazy Sundays yearsago when she, not him, wanted to go running. Just in case, she’d told him. Incase of what, he’d wondered even then. Unbeknownst to them it had been the beginningof the end. Yet, the sweet scent fills him with a longing. At least back thenthey’d been living together, sharing their lives, such as they were.

“If you want tokeep said job, Mulder, you need to get back into exercising.” She pats hisstomach, which he believes is still firm enough.

“Are you saying Ilook fat?”

“No,” shecontinues her pre-run routine with stretches that make Mulder hot for entirelydifferent reasons than exercise, “I’m saying you need to get back intoshape. Which is why I’m asking you again: why are you wearing this? Where areyour running clothes?”

“Like I toldyou,” Mulder says, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans patiently andslowing down even more when he sees Scully watching him intently, “Ididn’t want to scare away the driver. I came prepared.” Taking his jeansoff all the way reveal his running tights. Scully bought them for him a coupleof years ago and he protested, preferring his much looser shorts, but she toldhim to try it anyway. He’s been wearing the tights ever since.

“They stillfit?” Her voice, as well as her eyes, soften, the memory though unspokenseems almost palpable in the small room. Afraid to break the spell and unableto form words anyway, Mulder just nods.

“Well then,”Scully raises her arms into the air, her top riding up and revealing theslightest peek at her stomach. The need to touch her there is almost unbearableand he straightens his own shirt to distract himself and his hands. Scullylowers her arms and the moment is gone, leaving only the lingering sense oflonging. “Let’s go?” Her hands are on her hips and she’s staring athim, challenging him. Some things really do never change, he thinks, and nods.

*

They return an hourlater with Scully hobbling on her feet and clinging to him. Mulder offered tocarry her and upon receiving the eyebrow withdrew his offer and instead put hisarms around her. He’s essentially carrying her this way, too, but he knows shelets it count because her feet are still on the ground. Her body is warm, hoteven, after their intense run. She tried to outrun him knowing that despite hersmaller physique, she is in much better shape. They didn’t speak at all, justran, and somehow always fell into step with the other. Until they suddenlydidn’t.

“I’m fine,Mulder,” she’d told him through gritted teeth, trying to stretch her leftleg and keep running. “We can keep going.” She’d said then, her wet,teary eyes betraying the strong resolve in her voice.

“The only placewe’re going is your place – and slowly.” She had not protested then,except for when he tried to carry her, and now here they are. Scully lets go ofhim and he almost reaches out to stop her, not ready to lose the close contact,and wobbles into her bedroom. She doesn’t tell him to follow and Mulder standsthere, half in, half out. His eyes wander about, searching for his jeans, so hecan leave. Maybe. He doesn’t know what the protocol is in this situation.

“Mulder?” Amuffled voice comes from the bedroom. He takes a few steps and stops in the doorway.The room is as sparsely decorated as the living room, maybe even more so. Itreminds him of a hotel, not the ones they used to stay in, in a very sterile,very impersonal way.

“Yeah?”

“Could you, uhm…I hate to ask this of you, but…” Scully is sitting on her bed; she’s takenher shoes off, but she is still wearing the rest of her running gear. She looksyoung and cute and as much as Mulder wants to voice this, his feelings for her,he keeps quiet and waits for her to go on.

“My leg reallyhurts and… it’s just a kink. I had it before and uhm, the best way to get ridof it is a massage.” She’s unable to meet her eyes so his grin goesunnoticed. He clears his throat and nods. Which of course she doesn’t seeeither.

“Sure, Scully.Just tell me what to do.” She sends him into the tiny bathroom to get oil.There are several small bottles and Mulder doesn’t want to think about why sheeven has them. He picks the one that smells like peppermint, knowing sheprefers that for her after run routine. At least he hopes this still rings true.By the time he comes back, Scully has taken off her running tights. The sightshould not paralyze him like this; it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, touchedbefore. He used to kiss down her legs, tickling her behind the knee and makingher laugh out loud in delight.

“Mulder? What areyou doing?” Her question jolts him back to the present time.

“Nothing. I justgot the oil.” He joins her on the bed and wonders if he should take offhis own clothes. He is positive that he reeks. But his hand lands on her thighand she moans – loudly. Mulder forgets everything else after that. He uncapsthe small, green bottle and pours some of the oil into his hands. He’s donethis before, of course. As he puts his hands on her soft skin and startskneading gently, he can’t help but think of other times they did this. When shemoans again, in a way that reminds him of a different situation altogether, hecloses his eyes as if in pain only to realize it’s even worse, his mind feedinghim unwanted memories. No one, least of all Scully, taught him to navigatethis; the remains of their relationship. I need time, she had told him oncewhen she came by the house to pick up a few things, and you need to get betterwithout me here, she’d finished, leaving him again, alone and waiting. No manualto sift through; even if, as Scully would most certainly remind him, he neverreads the manual anyway.

“Oh, do thatagain!” Scully moans and that’s when Mulder stops.

“I can’t do this,Scully.” His hands remain on her leg, warm and firm, oily and soft.

“You’re doinggreat, Mulder,” she assures him, her face sideways on the pillow, her eyesclosed, “Just keep going, please.”

“No, I mean Ican’t do this, whatever this is.” One eye opens, then the other as sheshifts to look at him. “Why did you even ask me to come here? I can gorunning at home, you know. You used to do it there, too. It’s a much nicerneighborhood.”

“You’reright,” she sits up with difficulty, “Maybe I wasn’t completelyhonest when I asked you come here to exercise together.”

“Are you going tomake me guess?” Mulder asks when he can’t stand the silence any longer;his therapist implored him to work on his patience, and he has, but right now,he can’t wait when his heart beats faster with a sense of hopeful longing hehasn’t felt in a while.

“Maybe I finallywanted you to see this place,” Scully admits, biting her lower lip; heknows her, reads her easily, and he knows she’s still holding back something,and so he waits, one eyebrow raised, “Do you like this apartment,Mulder?” For a moment he considers lying.

“No. I hateit.” He tells her honestly and she nods.

“I hate it,too,” she admits, her eyes never leaving his, “I miss ourhouse,” she hasn’t called it that in a long, long time, “But I wantedyou to see it and well, give you a key. I didn’t mean for my leg to be thisbad. This – the massage was not part of my plan.”

“You had aplan?”

“Kind of,”she chuckles, “I thought I’d give you a key so you could consider thisyour home away from home, too.”

“That’s what thisis for you? A home away from home?”

“No,” shetakes his hand into hers and stares at his fingers, gently running her own overthe back of his hand, “It’s a refuge. I needed one, Mulder. At least for awhile. I’m keeping it because… it’s so much closer to work than the house, Mulder.”

“I’m not sure I understandwhat you’re saying.” Scully rolls her eyes at him, but then smiles.

“I want us tostay here during the week and then… go home for the weekends.”

“Together? Youwant us to live here together?”

“Unless you don’twant us-”

“Scully, as longas there’s an us, I want it all.” She grins at him coyly then and lets goof his hand.

“You’ll keepgoing to therapy, though.” It’s not a question and he nods. “You’llkeep taking your meds.” Another nod follows as a huge grin appears on hisface. “We’re not… we still have a long way to go, Mulder.” He wantsto take her into his arms, hold her tight and never let go, kiss her and nevertaste anything else ever again, but he stays put, waits for her.

“You came up withthis whole you need to exercise ploy to make me come to your apartment? Scully,you know you could have called.”

“I know,”she tells him, leaning into his space and he can’t wait until they’re ready totake the next step, when this is not just banter but foreplay, “but let’sface it Mulder: you really are out of shape.”

“Says the womanwith the leg injury.”

“It’s not aninjury, it’s just – why are you grinning like that, Mulder?”

“No reason,Scully. No reason at all.” It’s happiness, he knows, and when she returnshis smile he knows she sees it, too.

[itsfinancethings]

October 11, 2019 at 03:01AM

The last time we saw Jesse Pinkman, in the series finale of Breaking Bad, he’d just escaped a massacre. After refusing to put a mortally wounded Walter White (Bryan Cranston) out of his misery—an act that would’ve added one more item to the long list of sins he’d committed under the influence of the meth kingpin who used to be his high school science teacher—Jesse (Aaron Paul) drove the nearest El Camino straight through a chain-link fence, hit the road and never looked back. His symbolic shackles broken, he laughed and sobbed, his grizzled face filling the frame. By then, he was a traumatized, nearly feral mess. But he was free.

Unlike Walt’s inevitable death, Jesse’s ending was morally ambiguous: manipulated by a man who’d come to represent evil incarnate but still personally implicated in horrific violence, Jesse had also suffered terribly for his transgressions. Like Dorian Gray’s portrait, his face registered the blackening of Walt’s soul. So it seemed somewhat appropriate that Jesse’s fate remained unsettled. As Paul explained to TIME in a recent interview, “You’d like to think he’s riding off into the sunset, but you know life isn’t going to be that easy for him.” Sure, he made it out of five seasons alive. Surviving much longer, however, would be a test of his intelligence, resourcefulness and—most of all—his determination to live a better life.

Six years later, Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan is back with the results. The gripping El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, out now on Netflix and showing through Sunday, Oct. 13 in some theaters, picks up where the series left off. Jesse—who spent the episodes leading up to the finale in a box, held prisoner by the disconcertingly cheerful Todd (Jesse Plemons) and his gang—has to get out of Albuquerque before law enforcement can track him down. But first he needs to clean himself up, ditch the El Camino, scrape together enough cash to make a fresh start and say goodbye to the few people he loves whose lives Walt has spared.

His first stop is the home of his old friend Skinny Pete (Charles Baker)—a small-time criminal who is, predictably, in the midst of a video-game marathon with their pal Badger (Matt L. Jones). Despite its action-thriller pace and scale, one of the greatest pleasures of El Camino is that it still makes space for the funny banter that cut through the bleakness of Walter White’s descent. If Walt is Breaking Bad’s Richard III, Pete and Badger are its Shakespearean fools, cutting the tension with endearingly dopey exchanges like: “You couldn’t drive Miss Daisy.” “Whoever that is.”

Ben Rothstein / NetflixMatt L. Jones as Badger and Charles Baker as Skinny Pete in ‘El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie’

Yet these early scenes, which ease viewers into a structure that braids Jesse’s efforts to skip town together with generous flashbacks that fill in crucial blanks from his past, aren’t just comic relief. They demonstrate how far our hero has drifted, over the course of the show’s two-year timeframe, from these simple screw-ups, who come off as disarmingly innocent by comparison. “You’re my hero,” Pete insists as Jesse staggers around the house in post-traumatic shock, devouring food like a wild animal and behaving as though a SWAT team might burst in at any second. Though they can’t possibly understand what he’s survived, the tenderness these guys show Jesse—who watched helplessly as his so-called partner Walt systematically destroyed just about everything that was good in his life—is heartbreaking.

Paul earned three Emmys for his supporting role on Breaking Bad, and in El Camino he delivers a mesmerizing lead performance that proves he deserves a spot on Hollywood’s A-list. (In truth, it should put him in the Oscar conversation, but this is a TV sequel distributed by Netflix that won’t meet the Academy’s eligibility requirements.) Fully re-inhabiting a role he hadn’t played for years, he endows Jesse with the same mix of (waning) goofiness and (escalating) existential terror that propelled him through the finale. Yet the movie, which contains as many nail-biting moments as the show used to spread over a full season, gives him something new to be: an action hero—albeit a uniquely conflicted, exhausted and in many ways broken one.

It’s to the credit of Gilligan, who wrote and directed the film, that it feels like a continuation of Breaking Bad without also feeling like merely an extra-long TV episode. It’s a true movie, with the taut pacing, satisfying conclusion and grand visual scale that distinction implies. The big screen does justice to the same detailed sound design and nimble camera work—replete with destabilizing effects such as scenes that open from bizarre vantage points or follow heretofore unknown characters—that made for one of the most cinematic series in the history of television. In place of the show’s deep orange mesas and azure sky, Gilligan offers desiccated, beautifully barren beige vistas, as though this city in the desert has been drained of all possibility for Jesse. Even if you have a Netflix subscription, this harsh splendor is worth the price of a movie ticket. (Whether or not you make it to the theater, please—please—don’t watch this on your phone.)

Aside from a few unnecessary character cameos, most of which you could easily guess but none of which I will spoil here, El Camino avoids the pitfalls of this year’s many feature-length sequels to TV shows. There’s little of the fan-service inanity that abounded in the Downton Abbey film and none of the sentimental self-indulgence of Transparent’s insufferable musical finale. Like AMC’s Breaking Bad prequel Better Call Saul, as well as morally flexible saloon owner Al Swearengen’s (Ian McShane) storyline in HBO’s Deadwood: The Movie, it completes the unfinished portrait of a character who remains on viewers’ minds.

There’s a unique potency to the connections we form with the fictional people on TV, which at its best combines the vividness of movies, the intimacy of books and the seriality of comics. Sometimes we remember them with the same wistfulness that colors our memories of friends with whom we’ve lost touch. That goes double for Jesse Pinkman, an audience surrogate who served as the tortured conscience of a criminal demimonde populated by milquetoast psychos (Walt, Todd, Gus Fring) and sad, irredeemably compromised men like Saul Goodman (Bob Odenkirk) and Mike Ehrmantraut (Jonathan Banks).

Joining a Breaking Bad Televisual Universe that is also a moral universe, one that weighs the soul of each protagonist in turn, El Camino makes space in the trilogy for hope. In Walt, Gilligan illustrated how a meek facade can conceal bottomless malice. Saul Goodman is what happens when a person with good intentions is incapable of following society’s rules. But going into El Camino, Jesse’s soul still hangs in the balance. In order to escape his old life, he’s going to have to prove that he’s smart and strong enough to make it on his own. And we can’t help but worry for him—in part because it’s so easy to imagine ourselves behind the wheel of that getaway car. What choice do we have but to see his story through to the end?