#real hood shit

[boredomdlux]

idk how long these things have 2 live in my head bc guess this is a bad 💡 or sumthing.

uh... naw. obv this isn't a "me thang." it exists. ☁️

📷: l.a. 🌴⛰️🌟 hood s**t, outkast x sleepy brown 👑👑👑👽🍑🌐, mtv pmr ft. x 2 tha z 👑🏎️🛸, sudan archives 👑🌍🎻🎶, real ho(llywood) s**t ft ru 👑🏁👠.

+++👑💖🪶 yaDDa 🚥🛵🏍️🏎️🚃🚀🛸 in da hood.

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're on Gothamtwt

just gothamite things

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[lalaooopsie]

Jason having his priorities straight fr

The most based character of all time

[ghost-bxrd]

You guys ever think about an AU where Jason goes to hound Tim through Titans Tower, and, mid pursuit—while Tim is screaming at him about the second Robin being his hero, tryin to crawl away in a trail of blood—realizes he’s become an even worse version of his own mother, who sold him out to the Joker?

Because I do.

[batbrainrot]

Jason, walking into the kitchen:

Jason: Tim what the fuck are you doing

Tim, confused: ...c-cooking?

Jason: what are you doing to that chicken?????

Tim, holding one fork in each hand: ...seasoning ...it?

Jason, offended: no, the fuck, you're not! why are you using forks to do it instead of grabbing it with your hands like a normal fucking human being?

Tim, feeling personally victimized by raw meat: I'M NOT FUCKING TOUCHING THAT! IT'S A SENSORY NIGHTMARE!

Jason, pointing a gun at him: OUT. NOW.

[thenonbinarydetective]

Things batfam stans need to leave behind in 2023:

Jason's Lazarus pit rage

Thinking Tim's parents were horribly abusive and hated him

Only caring about Stephanie in terms of her relationship to another person (ex: Tim's bestie/ex/gf or Cass' gf/bestie)

Treating Jason or Stephanie like they're stupid

Feral Demon Child Damian

Permanent sunshine boy Dick Grayson

Any "[blank] was the real violent Robin" discourse

Really just any reducing or sectioning of certain traits to certain batfam members and not allowing other characters to exhibit those same traits (ex: see sunshine Dick Grayson)

But also stealing traits from other characters and projecting them onto someone else (ex: Jason getting Dick's personality in fics. He is not the same type of big brother Dick is canonically)

Purposefully mischaracterizing characters for angst (ex: Dick sent Tim to Arkham, my beloathed. also again see Tim's parents)

Trying really hard to nuclearize the family. They are an unconventional family for many reasons, and that's why they're interesting.

"Alfred solos the batfam"

Making Duke "the normal one" and completely forgetting to give him an actual personality.

Cass using sign language because she can read body language (note: does not apply to YJ Cass who has damaged vocal chords)

Cass being used as a prop for her brothers

Tim being weak, woobified baby

Feel free to add on ~~

Don't send hate over these things because idgaf, they are harmful mischaracterizations, and many are built on total ignorance and often racism, classism, ableism, and sexism.

[uc1wa]

hehe could you pretty please write something about waking jason up with a blowjob he deserves it

- ⭐

jason who comes home late every night from patrol, into the hours that blur night from morning, sun easing it’s way into the sky. he’s always careful, getting into bed soft enough as to not wake you.

and when you wake up before him, it’s so hard not to jump his bones. he’s just so pretty with eyelashes sitting against his pink cheeks, scarred and bruised chest softly moving up and down with every small breath his lungs have to offer.

unable to use self control, while choosing a safer, more gentle option, your hands softly fall down to where his clothed member is. it’s only half hard, but after a few touches through fabric, the man has an embarassing morning wood that makes you smile to yourself before maneuvering under covers and between his legs.

because, he deserves it, doesn’t he? your tough boyfriend who’s always fighting crime without a break, who’s collecting scars like trophies. your boyfriend who can’t ever seem to rest—questionably so, when he’s sleeping calmly while your lips spread to the girth of his tip.

jason’s lips tighten as his eyes remain closed, his right thigh moving gently and a puff of air escapes his nose. but, he’s asleep, and your movements remain slow as you take him down your throat, to the base of his length.

it’s hard! it’s hard having a boyfriend with a big cock, but it’s just more to love, right? more length to put in your mouth, more to touch with soft fingertips. you begin thoroughly sucking him, hands finding the underside of his balls and rubbing the delicate skin.

and you wish you thought this out before. with a single thought to record your actions, just to hear the small whimpers that jason moans in his sleep. the soft noises that you’ve never heard so clearly before despite the wet noises of your lips.

and it’s only a matter of time until his sounds become moans and his eyes start to flutter open. opening wide and looking down at you with a moan that’s halted by a laugh. "need t’wake up with you suckin’ me off every morning, baby."

[digitaldoz3]

Whenever all the civilians have been evacuated from an area being attacked by rogues the Batfam like to excecute Order 66

This does nothing but send in Red Hood to fuck shit up

Like they’ll have gotten everyone out of a building being attacked and one of them will ominously stare whatever rogue it is dead in the eye and say “Excecute Order 66” and leave without another word. Before the rogue can respond Red Hood is just. there. and ready to cause absolute chaos

[recurring-polynya]

Once was one thing...

...but I feel like this is not just a "I'd have two nickels," situation, I think Renji really is the designated shouter for situations where everyone wants to stand around and do a two-page spread look cool. Is it because he won the All-Gotei Trash Talking Championship, or is this one of those things like tenteikura and opening senkaimon that are just traditional lieutenant duties? He's the only lieutenant present in the first situation. In the second, and in the second, he's the only lieutenant whose...captain is present?

He's also very tall and projects well. Ikkaku is also good at hollerin', but he this happens two panels later, so it's unsurprising that he's been banned from spokesperson duties:

[onnahu]

Titans Tower in 4 sentences

Jason: i'll show you how it really is to be Robin

Tim: well I'm better then you could ever be. Suck it.

Jason:...

Jason: you little motherfucker

Tim: *bloody pancake*

[boredomdlux]

⏸️

peepin' the interview on @revolttv 🖤 rn.

(((will post proof here l8r ✌🏽🫶🏽🖖🏽)))

[mikakuna]

my problem is that i always end up emotionally invested in the angry abuse victim character-- the character who is always the "wrong" kind of victim. the one who lashes out and is violent, a complete juxtaposition to their sunshine/lawful good counterparts in the media.

i end up resonating too hard with these characters that i always end up on the shitty side of the fandom where people will see you as a bad person for enjoying representation of an angry victim.

[laughing-moonlight]

The entire confrontation between Jeff & Hood on the Zero-XL will never not be funny to me:

Hood: *speech about how he hates Jeff for having a functioning moral compass, how he decided to be the villain purely because Jeff was the hero, how he has committed atrocities for 8+ years just for the sake of pettiness*

Jeff: *deadpan af* Go cry about it *immediately turns around and ignores him* Boys lets shove him in a cupboard!

Scene Timestamps: 15:00 - 17:05

This disbelief on "Brain's" face when he first sees Jeff. The line fumble! Of course, it would be perfectly normal to assume Brains would call Jeff by his name because he does with almost everyone else, so it'd be easy for Hood to screw that up. But the fact that Jeff was able to clock on so instantly is impressive. It's almost like being gone for 8 years has help Jeff finally gain an immunity to the Hood's tricks. And how Jeff sees through Hood instantly must've made Hood so, so angry. Jeff who is suppossed to be dead. Jeff who is so perfect. The mighty Jeff Tracy who literally slams him right into the wall.

Like, Hood casually mimicking Jeff's Kansas accent like Alan isn't about the punch him in the throat. "He had this funny thing about RAIGHT AND WROANG". Sir. The Tinies are about to rip your face off. Maybe it's time to finally accept defeat? No? Okay. (And the funniest part has to be Brains coming back in to find a clone of himself being wrestled by Mr Tracy.)

And Hood absolutely wants a reaction from someone. Anyone. He's desperate for it. He wants someone to retaliate to the "bombshell" he just dropped. But no one does. Even after 8 years of solitude, Jeff does not give this man the time of day. Just a measured, controlled "You need better goals, Hood." and then blanks the guy in favour of talking about him and not to him. (Can't lie, Jeff was pretty based for that.) Even when Hood is droning on, you can see Jeff glaring, as if well and truly realising that this man he called a friend is truly well beyond any sort of help from him.

But that's also sad in a way, because this is someone Jeff can't rescue. And it's not because he isn't capable, it's because Hood is just so Hood. I literally cannot describe this man in any other way and it's infuriating. Jeff genuinely did not have the ability to save his wife. But this man was his friend. Or so he thought. And Hood is implying he went down this road because Jeff wouldn't let himself be dragged down it. Damn.

These two give me so many brainworms it's actually insane. I'm just sat here bashing them together like a pair of Barbie dolls. They won't let me stop.

[the-bat-bros]

Anxious! Tim Drake

Have some angst head cannons

Anxious! Tim Drake who assumes that if anyone is upset near him, it’s his fault

Anxious! Tim Drake who hides in his room when his family is arguing, and stares at the wall, trying to make out what is being said a few doors down

Anxious! Tim Drake who dissociates whenever he is in trouble

Anxious! Tim Drake who gets aggravated the first time Dick tries to help him through a panic attack

“I said I’m fine”

“Tim I can see that you aren’t fine, and that’s okay. Please talk to me, tell me what’s going on. Let me help-”

“I said I’m fine!”

Anxious! Tim Drake who feels bad about shoving people away who are just trying to help him. But he doesn’t need help. They’re only pitying him anyway. They don’t actually care.

Anxious! Tim Drake who bounces his knee, taps his fingertips together, or twirls a pen to help get some of his anxieties out

Anxious! Tim Drake who absolutely breaks down on the floor in the bathroom when a mission went wrong. It was his fault. He didn’t do enough. He should have done more. He needs to prove himself. He needs to do better.

Anxious! Tim Drake who is up all night because his mind won’t shut up, going over every tiny little detail of the day and what he could have done differently. He’s such a failure. He doesn’t deserve to be part of this family. He needs to be better. They’re probably still upset about that thing from three years ago. Oh god why did he sound so silly talking to Bernard last week? Why didn’t he offer to help Damian with his homework is he a bad brother? Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god.

Anxious! Tim Drake who finally accepts help from Jason. Jay links Tim up with his therapist. Therapy sucks but Jason was right, it’s helping

Anxious! Tim Drake who learns to journal. Writing down what he think he did wrong and then writing why it was okay underneath that. He feels so silly when he does this, but it helps

Anxious! Tim Drake who gets a little better every day. It will take time. Healing isn’t linear. But he isn’t a failure. He is doing the best that he can. And that’s enough.

[homodotus]

i must speak my truth. girl-kisser little red riding hood from ouat i would kill and die for you

[ijustthinkhesneat]

Headcanons for which the source is I made it the fuck up

-Bruce Wayne is a stupid Himbo. Like he is a genius detective and engineer and hacker etc. But this man is dumb. When the cowl is off no thoughts head empty.

-Dick Grayson is also borderline brain dead. Like again yes genius detective, polyglot, icon, etc. But this man is running on a 2+2=fish operating system. He is a useless pansexual be patient with himmmmmm.

-Tim and Damian are lowkey spoiled brats. Like not in a bad way. I say it with love. But these two are the living embodiment of that Arrested Development meme about the price of a banana. They have no idea how money works.

-Dick and Jason had braces.

-Dick legit has never noticed he has a thing for red heads. He looks at Wally/kory and is just pretty red people make brain go brrrrrrrrrrrrr.

-Damian likes to be an annoying vegetarian at galas. He makes up dietary restrictions cause he knows these rich old farts will never research them.

-Tim legit thought Bruce was a serial killer even after he learned he was Batman.

-Duke is the glitter bomb gremlin and Prank Master

-He’s not normal he will sometimes make his eyes and mouth glow and stand in peoples doorways in the middle of the night.

-Cass wants pets but she travels too much so she shares a lizard with Damian and keeps a cat at Barbara’s apartment.

-Superman was Dick’s pansexual awakening

-Jason realized he was bi when he got nervous around the other street rat boys cause he wanted them to think he was pretty but he also wanted the girls to think he was cool.

-Tim knew he was trans like fresh out the womb the boy said “I seem to be missing a penis When will that be arriving?”

-Damian has been with Bruce since he was 4 and Tim started living with Bruce when he was 3 because the Drakes forgot him in their mansion and he wandered over to the Wayne estate.

-Alfred keeps a Polaroid of him, Thomas, Martha and baby Bruce hidden in his nightstand.

-Dick really likes the smell of lavender

-Jason is allergic to shellfish

-Damian once filled Duke’s closet with potatoes, the reason has never been discovered

-Duke picked up obnoxiously dancing around sweating from Dick. Bro says shot like that really puts a fly in my jam cause he knows it pisses everyone off. He is the ultimate troll.

-Cass once loosened every light bulb in the manor so they wouldn’t turn on and framed Tim because he wouldn’t share his coffee cake with her one time. Tim had to then replace every light bulb in the manor.

-Jason is slowly convincing his siblings about Dick’s scumbag era one grant photo and edgy diary entry at a time.