#ready for those

[ganja-laoshi]

03-16-23

Little late but yeah this month has been crazy. Haven't wubjellied, haven't exercised. I might actually be dying or I'm ripping out of a cocoon and that's why everything seems so dark 🤷‍♀️

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[castielsprostate]

i hate you "influencers", i hate you tiktok, i hate you "content creators", i hate you "unalive" and "s€x" and "dr/ügs", i hate you instagram, i hate you consumerism, i hate you family friendly, i hate you puritans, i hate you facebook, i hate you family vloggers, i hate you violating other people's privacy, i hate you modern day social media

[wlwanakin]

i think possibly my favorite anakinism and one i think about a rather unhealthy amount is his body language and how he almost always looks viscerally uncomfortable and vaguely like a child who is scared of getting slapped. even when he’s being confrontational he looks sooo defensive like wow girl you have never fully processed anything that’s happened to you and you will carry the weight of it forever

[proxycrit]

LINKTOBER DAY 20: ZORA WELLSPRING

Sidon plays packhorse. Link and Zelda play with electricity and water. Everybody leaves happy except for the fried aerocuda.

(Something’s in the water temple.)

This is a self indulgent totk au called Familiar Familiar where link and zelda travel through upheaval hyrule! Masterpost can be found here:

Patreon here too, if you wanna feed me a slice of bread like a duck

[sleevebuscemii]

my favorite thing about jacob anderson and sam reid is that jacob anderson is married with a child and has a second career as a respected musician and sam reid is a 37 year old vaping bachelor with a helix piercing who has recently emerged into peak hotness and slutability. and they’re bffls.

[bluerosefox]

Always Favors You

Another Sibling Danny and Jason idea!!

"Are you Jason Peter Todd?!" demanded a deep and commanding tone from the strange glowing being in front of them.

All the Bats stiffened and tensed, no doubt gearing up for a fight against the being that somehow knew Red Hood's full name.

Jason, Red Hood, decided to put on a brave front despite no doubt cursing in his head and wondering how the heck did this thing know his full freaking name.

"Whose asking." he snarled out, his hands twitching for his gun when the huge glowing knight with purple flames coming out of his helmet and cape, who was riding on a nightmare looking horse while they all had been in the cave going over tonight's patrol.

The Knight didn't seemed bothered by his response nor did he even seem to care or flinch when Batman made his own demand on 'Why was he there and who was he' or when Damian unsheathed his sword and pointed it towards him. Instead the strange glowing Knight reached to it side and pulled out... A glowing scroll? Huh. (Also he completely unnerved everyone in the room when the Knight didn't even react when Batman had tossed a Baterang when he reached for his side)

The Knight opened the scroll and spoke clearly with purpose.

"Jason Peter Todd,

You are hereby invited as a special guest of honor to the crowning of our future King of the Infinite Realms.

Daniel Phantom, once Daniel Jackson Fenton, and once Daniel Austen Todd.

Prince of the Infinite Realms, the Keeper of Balance, The Peacekeeping Halfa, the Defeater of the Tyrant King Pariah Dark, The Great One, Youngest of the Ancients, Ancient of Space, The Bridge between Life and Death.

You, the half-brother of our King, have been given the highest of honors for your past actions and will be given housing and food in the Realms and Phantom's Keep, for the week long event. Personal servants and attendants will be at your disposal and a seamstress will be on hand to tailor make your attire for the Coronation.

Signed: Clockwork. Ancient of Time. Watcher of the Infinite Timeline. Kronos. Mentor and Adviser.

PS: I shall have Fright Knight ("Me" the Knight bluntly said for a second) leave this scroll along with a personal one for you from Daniel to read over and once you make up your mind sign the bottom of the scroll.

I do hope in time you will pick the right choice Jason Todd, we of the Infinite Realms would like to reward you for your actions. After all, if you hadn't gotten young Daniel away from your father that night all those years ago, we would never had gained our Prince nor be free from our once Tyrant King.

Ah, one more thing.

The Infinite Realms will always favor you Jason."

Jason felt like he couldn't breath as Fright Knight? Rolled up the scroll, pulled a letter from his side, and held out the two items for him to take.

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[boopjuice]

Humans are Space Orcs: Melons.

Okay, hear me out. Humans are omnivores, and this is widely known throughout the greater Galactic Alliance. They have insane tolerance to things most would consider poison, and can eat just about anything deemed nonlethal by most other races (there are, of course, some exceptions).

Anyway, there's no need to wait for an animal to be ready to eat. Sure, a deer that's too young or too old won't have as much nutrition, but there's nothing stopping you from eating it. Fruits and vegetables have to grow and ripen before humans can eat them, and are often determined ripe based on color and size.

Now imagine, if you will, an alien crew visiting their human's home in Earth during the summer. Some of them are drastically overheated and have to stay in the ship, while the more heat tolerant species are out and about with the human at a grocery store.

"Human- I mean, Sarah, your parent mentioned requiring a 'watered melon's for the third meal, yes?"

"Watermelon, Chi'l'zak, but yeah, Dad did ask me to pick some up. Why?"

"Well, there appear to be some over there to choose from."

"Oh, nice spot! Let's see here..."

And the alien's watch in as their human picks up the biggest melon in the pile and observes it for a moment, presumably checking the color, only to smack the large fruit, frown, and set it back down.

"Hu- Sarah, why did you put down the fruit?"

"It's just not quite ready yet." The human picks up another melon, smacks this one a few times, and sets it down.

"But I thought these 'grocery stores' only sold ripe foods?"

"Well, everything here is technically ripe, but that doesn't always mean it's ready. I mean, the avocados they sell are ripe, but they aren't usually ready to eat. They don't taste as good, or they're too hard. You just have to know how to pick your produce. Ah, here we go!" A few smacks to a new melon, and Sarah looks pleased. The melon doesn't appear any different from the others.

"How are you certain that one is the best? It is colored the same as the other fruits, and is smaller than some. Surely this fruit isn't ready, as you said."

"Of course it is, Chi'l'zak. Here, listen."

Sarah smacks the watermelon they'd picked out a couple times, then smacked the first melon they'd picked up. "See? They sound different. That's how you know this one's good."

"But Human Sarah, those sounded exactly the same."

"No they didn't."

"Well, how were they different then?"

"I dunno. They just don't sound the same."

They ended up bringing home the ready and unready melons to display the difference. Anthropological notes were updated that night in the ship's log.

"Ripeness of human fruits: Some fruits on the human Mother Planet can be identified as 'ready to eat' by sound. The preferred method seems to be to smack the fruit known as 'melon' with an open appendage and listen. While most of the team were able to notice any significance between a ready and unready melons, human participants were able to easily distinguish ready from unready melons and select accordingly."

[noxcheshire]

I am sick, dizzy, and can barely think but you know what would be WILD?

If the DC universe was an echo of Danny’s world. What if the continents of their planet shifted enough where Amity is now in New Jersey and had then become Gotham.

And when Danny died underneath the portal a part of his death fractured and imprinted itself into those various worlds. One of them being Gotham, where Danny’s home ironically used to be where Wayne Manor used to be.

So just imagine it, you’re coming back from patrol, grimy, sweaty, and with questionable intentions by dressing as an overgrown bat when suddenly the lights dim. It dims and brings darkness, only enough light to catch the beady marble eyes of the bats you fear.

And then electricity jumps in the middle of the room, flinging itself around like an agitated snake in wide open circles.

Everyone is backing away, some weary, some cursing, some just half way out of their own suit.

And then a child — barely as old as your youngest now, flickers to life before you, screaming and screaming, wailing in pain as the scent of burning flesh mingles into the air. You can see the boy, black hair and blue eyes that underneath the bright light that burns them is causing black to turn white, and blue to turn green.

The electricity crackles and when the boy is about the drop, limp, certainly lifeless, he vanishes as if nothing had ever been there.

But he comes back, he always comes back, in the moment of calm and in the moment of despair, echoing that painful wailing of death.

It’s so wrong.

It’s very, very wrong.

It didn’t even matter anymore why the boy showed up, only that this moment of pain continues to haunt the cave of heroes.

Continuously haunting, even as some whispered apologizes when the boy appeared. Continuously haunting, even as some provided songs of comfort when the boy appeared. Continuously haunting, even as stories of Gotham are told and promises (though uncertain and flimsy at best) are spoken to the wailing boy who always drops fast and disappears just as quickly.

Always, it was the same.

Until one day it wasn’t.

The electricity crackled like it always did. A spark, and then a calamity of light. And the boy would be there, uncurling himself into a tense position as he would wail.

But not this time.

Instead the boy curled himself in the air, calm as can be, almost as if he were sleeping. Even the electricity that they have learned to dance away from was calm, gentle, like ocean waves.

And when the electricity vanished, the boy did not, instead dropping to the floor where Dick was quick to catch him, grunting in preparation of weight only to show alarm at how thin the boy truly was.

On that face that has haunted them all for months is just a boy, sleeping, and scarred. A boy breathing very slow, slower than what they would like, but here in the physical realm with them.

Dick brushed back bangs of black hair, and slowly, ever so slowly, glazed blue eyes stared back.

[spores-and-petals]

🌙 Pearlypop! 🌙

˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Rai (🍂🐾) is usually on designer duty, but I had to put the comic down for one second and do Pearl myself. I wanted to add more pins to her bag but I ran out of ideas sobs

I know people usually go with the moth motifs for her but I really needed her to be a bird (for reasons), so owl it is,,

-🌘✨

also you should like totally check out the masterpost for S&P 👉👈

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

Kenma meets his future self

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I know those eyes.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[koshercosplay]

chag shavuot sameach!

[manderleyfire]

cooper howard & lucy maclean + the definite contrasts, the striking similarities (aka ghoulcy foreshadowing)

[shantechni]

They're so myad and so angy, these kids are gonna kill someone fr

Who am I kidding, they have killed someone before💀