#rapidly left subtext there

[ask-the-curtis-gang]

tim can you like help out pony and curly? i think they're like oblivious

help em? oh hell no. well. I could. but whatever the fuck they got goin on is way funnier- Tim S

[leneemusing]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SENTENCE STARTERS pt. 1

❝ are you all very stoned? ❞

❝ god! what is your childhood trauma?! ❞

❝ i want to date, and shop, and hang out, and save the world from unspeakable evil. you know, girly stuff. ❞

❝ i know you'll never love me. ❞

❝ love isn't brains, children, it's blood. blood screaming inside you to work its will. ❞

❝ i know i'm a monster, but you treat me like a man. ❞

❝ you wanna go steal some stuff? ❞

❝ why is it always the virgin women who have to do the sacrificing? ❞

❝ i know what you're doing. you think if you get me mad enough i won't be so scared AND HEY, it's working! ❞

❝ i'm not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots here. ❞

❝ great, now I'm gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day. ❞

 ❝ i may be love's bitch, but at least i'm man enough to admit it. ❞

❝ sorry, but i'm an old fashioned gal. i was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies. ❞

❝ we saved the world. i say we party. ❞

❝ your mouth is open and sound is coming out. this is never good.. ❞

❝ i'm afraid we're having a slight apocalypse ❞

❝ demons after money. what ever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? no one has any standards anymore. ❞

❝ well, i'll just jump off that bridge when I come to it. ❞

❝ i believe the subtext here is rapidly becoming text. ❞

❝ i'm way off my game. my game's left the country. it's in cuernavaca.. ❞

❝ it's like talking to a wall. only you get more from a wall. ❞

❝ the hardest thing in this world… is to live in it.. ❞

❝ and you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. ❞

❝ you know what, i was wrong. you are an idiot. ❞

❝ well, before i succumb to the ravages of old age, why don't you tell me what brings you here. ❞

[red-riot-unbreakable-heart]

BakuDeku Smut: Hooking Up At A Pro Hero Gala

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Ship: Izuku Midoriya x Katsuki Bakugo

Note: This is explicit so A18+ ONLY!!

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Romance, S*xual Tension, Semi-Public Sex

cw: MDNI!, adult Pro-heros, all characters are A20+, blowjobs, slow burn, semi-public sex, hooking up, hair pulling, mentions of drinking and partying, dirty talk, explicit content, romance

The first time Katsuki sucks Izuku’s dick – it’s at one of those stupid press Hero galas.

Katsuki has just hit 15 on the Hero chart – he’s getting so damn close to the top 10 he can almost taste it. Izuku is only a few spots ahead of him at number 13. Despite the constant competition to snatch a top spot on the chart, the two are close as ever. Having put aside their longstanding childhood rivalry, they now run their own Pro Hero Agency together and are rapidly climbing the ranks of hero society as a team.

As usual, after the new hero rankings are released, the annual press night and celebratory gala follow. At age 24, Katsuki has now been to a handful of these events and knows the drill - dress up in a sharp tux, grace the red carpet step and repeat, schmooze with the hero business and support agency staff, etc. He finds the whole affair boring, but knows how important events like these are to his brand and his image in the media. Begrudgingly he has realized that the public’s opinion contributes a lot to his success as a hero.

Katsuki has arrived early at Izuku’s request. The green haired hero is always doing things by the book, and insists that they represent their Agency in the best way possible. So now here they are, seated next to one another at their Hero Agency’s table. Izuku looks sharp and handsome in his tailored forest green tuxedo. His dark bowtie is slightly askew, reminding Katsuki fondly of the way Izuku could never figure out how to properly put on his UA uniform tie. The explosion hero watches Izuku pour himself a glass of water and wishes he could grab his friend by the tie and pull him in for a deep kiss. He lets his fantasies run wild for a moment – he imagines kissing a bare freckled shoulder and hearing Izuku moan his name. He pictures a warm bed and skin that’s rough and sore to the touch after too many hours spent training together. He’s visualizing a life where two best friends can be…something more. Something absolute. He’s pulled from his fantasies as he hears Izuku’s sweet laugh bubbling up to his left.

He turns to see Izuku talking animatedly to a pretty member of their support staff as he butters a dinner role. The staff member is pretty and wearing a form-fitting gown that is a bit too low cut to be appropriate for a work event. She is flirting gratuitously as she tosses her dark brown hair over her shoulders and all but squishes her generous breasts together to put them on display. Izuku blushes faintly and tries to focus on her face, but his eyes keep wandering down to her lavish chest.

“Mr. Midoriya, you’ll need to show me that new move you’re working on!” She gushes, touching his arm. “I’ve heard so much about it!”

“Anytime! You should come to the training gym at the Agency tomorrow and I’ll walk you through it.” Izuku says smoothly, ignoring the woman’s the sexual subtext. “We just renovated the gymnasium floors with AstroTurf so it’s much easier to move around and train now.”

“I’d love to! I’ll clear my schedule – how’s 2pm work?” She swirls a martini high as she rests her pretty face in the palm of her other hand. She gently bats her eyelashes up at Izuku.

“It’s a date!” Izuku declares, taking a bite of his bread.

A fiery tongue of jealousy licks at Katsuki’s belly as he watches the two of them flirt. He crosses his arms and takes a look around the rest of the room – seeing colleges and classmates alike begin to take seats at their various assigned tables. He should spare his feelings by getting up to chat with his friends Kirishima and Sero, who are standing only a dozen feet away by the bar. As he gets up to leave, he hears the big-chested brunette propose another date be added to Izuku’s calendar:

“Actually, why wait until tomorrow? There’s so much we have to discuss, why don’t we grab a drink after the gala? I know a cute little sake bar a few blocks over. We can cozy up at the bar and discuss all of your favorite moves.” She’s laying it on thick, and Katsuki is pissed to see that it’s working on his friend.

Izuku takes a deep swig from his water glass before answering. “That would be great – I’ve been meaning to get out and see more of the town! I’ve been a bit too in the weeds with work and training lately. It would be nice to take a little break from work and enjoy some company.” He flashes the woman his winning Pro Hero smile and she practically swoons.

“Here – let me get your number so I can text you the address. We can meet up after the final photo opp!” She hastily passes her phone – an iPhone covered in bright green and black charms. Katsuki stands up angrily – he’s seen enough.

“Deku, can I talk to you about something? Agency stuff.” Izuku’s head snapped around at the seriousness of Katsuki’s tone. He frowns at Katsuki’s dark expression.

“Yeah – of course.” Izuku gets up from the table and apologizes to the woman, promising to return to their conversation shortly. He leaves her sitting there holding out her phone, a defeated expression lines her pretty features. The jealous demon in Katsuki’s chest purrs at the sight.

Izuku follows Katsuki past their friends and out of the ballroom. They wander the halls for a moment.

When he’s sure they’re far from prying eyes and ears, Katsuki rounds on Izuku. 

“So what – you’re dating her now?!” Katsuki demands, a little more harshly than he had intended.

“W-well she did ask me for a drink after this, and I said yes.” Izuku stutters out, before his eyes turn defiant. “Why do you care? She’s sweet and you said just yesterday that she designs the best support items you’ve used this year.”

“You idiot, you can’t go dating employees!” Katsuki scowls, crossing his arms defensively.

“Kacchan – she’s an independent contractor. She doesn’t report directly into me, you know that. And we’re not getting married or anything – she just asked me to a drink.” His bright green eyes narrow and he leans forward a bit, assessing Katsuki’s dim expression. “What’s this really about Kacchan?”

“I-I…” Katsuki can’t put his feelings into words. He hadn’t planned ahead this far – his hotheadedness had once again taken the reins of his body and mind, leaving little room for logic. He briefly flounders, seeing how he may have majorly messed up here. After all, Izuku was allowed to date whoever he pleased. Katsuki had no right to meddle in his friends’ love affairs unless Izuku straight up asked his opinion. His palms begin to sweat and he breathes deeply to keep himself from activating his quirk. After a moment, he has mastered his temper and feels himself become more level. His palms begin to dry.

Katsuki looks nervously around and spots an empty dressing room to the side of the stage entrance. He hastily shoves Izuku through the door – whatever’s about to be discussed isabsolutely not for the ears of the press and all of the extras lingering about. He shuts it behind them and clicks the lock, ensuring the rest of their conversation will be blessedly private.

“I don’t want you dating that chick. That’s what this is about.” He scowls, dropping himself into the red makeup chair and swiveling to face his best friend. Izuku remains standing.

“Do you have a good reason? Let me guess – she’s some kind of freak villain in disguise and you’re ‘trying to protect me.’ You already used that excuse once, Kacchan, and I was dumb enough to believe you the first time.” Izuku cocks his head to the left, looking up into Katsuki’s dark eyes searchingly. “I appreciate the concern. But just because we’re childhood friends and we spend practically every waking moment together running this agency, that doesn’t mean you get to dictate who I date.” Izuku’s ember eyes burn fiercely.

Their eyes lock as they stare each other down, challenging. Katsuki makes the mistake of glancing down at Izuku’s lips, breaking their tense eye contact.

“Look, Deku. Izuku.” He corrects himself, falling into an almost two decade-old habit of calling his friend by a demeaning nickname. He only uses the Pro Hero name Deku in battle and at press events now, as a sign of respect. Izuku looks up at him questioningly, awaiting an explanation.

Damn it all – there’s only one way to clear this up. It’s something Katsuki has been putting off for a while. He knew eventually it would come to this – and he’s nearly quaking in his designer combat boots as he rises and takes a step towards his friend. He takes a deep - albeit shaky – breath.

“Izuku…this is why I don’t want you dating any of those girls.” And throwing caution to the wind, Katsuki reaches out to grab Izuku’s face and bring it jerkily to his own. Their lips crash together with bruising force and - for once - Izuku shuts up.

They’ve done this a few times – made out. It’s happened maybe 5 times in all across the past 2 years. 3 of these times took place after long tipsy nights out at the bar with their friends, when the alcohol got them both a little horny and antsy to make bad decisions. 1 time was in Izuku’s office after a particularly fierce battle – office door locked, both had still been high on adrenaline and the searing kisses seemed like the perfect release. And the last time…well, that had been a few weeks ago.

It had taken place at Izuku’s 24th birthday and all of Class 1A had gathered to celebrate. The power in Izuku’s spacious apartment had gone out and, grumbling, Katsuki had followed the green-haired hero down to the basement to reset the circuit breaker. The duo had bickered a bit before finally fixing the breaker using Katsuki’s cell phone flashlight. As the lights came back on, Katsuki had realized with a start how close he was to Izuku’s face. Seemingly without thinking, Izuku had closed his eyes and leaned forward to capture Katsuki’s mouth with his own. It was the beginning of the night so they were both stone sober, so this had been first time they had kissed without being inebriated or high on adrenaline. The short kiss had melted Katsuki’s heart in a way he wouldn’t have expected it to. After a gentle moment, Izuku had broken away and whispered “that’s the only birthday present I really wanted.” Then he had turned on his heel to sprint up the basement stairs and to rejoin the party. Katsuki stood there for a few moments, stunned. His tried deep breathing to master his nerves, but it was no use. His head was up in the clouds and his thoughts were wrapped around a glowing image of Izuku Midoriya and his lips. He touched his mouth slowly and thought “Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. My motherfucking goddamn asshole of a heart.” And ever since, he had been hopelessly, head over heals in fucking love with Izuku Midoriya.

Here’s the thing - they have never discussed That Kiss. Some days it seemed like a dirty little secret between them. On other days, when work was slow and Katsuki was relaxed – it felt like an oath. A promise. Their paths had always been intertwined – so of course it would make sense for them to be together in the romantic sense. Bakugo and Midoriya – their fates interlaced and tied in a bow with a pretty red string.

Katsuki had been agonizing over it all since the event – how did one broach the subject of being in love with their best friend and business partner? Had Izuku really meant it? Was it all secretly a dark and twisted prank to trick Katsuki into looking a fool? Katsuki was 99% certain it wasn’t the latter. But, then again, how could he be sure?

Baguko snaps his thoughts back to the present, where a startled Izuku’s lips are pressed against his own. His body feels with warmth as Izuku makes a soft noise in surprise at the kiss. After a moment, he shuts his eyes and surrendering himself over to Katsuki’s body.

Katsuki pulls his friend closer so that their bodies are flush – he can feel every plane of hard, taught muscle beneath the thin fabric of Izuku’s tuxedo. He wants his hands everywhere – on Izuku’s chest, his thighs, the broad expanse of his back – but instead he just holds onto the Hero’s face like he’s a drowning man, and Izuku’s mouth is the sweet kiss of life.

Their lips move together urgently, needy. Katsuki’s fingers grip Izuku’s jaw with an almost-bruising force, and Izuku winds his arms around Katsuki’s neck with just as much gusto. They slide their mouths together comfortably like that for a while. If Izuku has reservations about this arrangement, he doesn’t speak them. He just lets Katsuki kiss down his jawline and alongside his neck as he sighs appreciatively.

They make out like that for a while, but it’s different from all of their other stolen kisses. This time, it carries meaning. Katsuki doesn’t want Izuku dating other people, he wants him all for himself. Izuku’s head spins with the revelation – never in a million years did he think his friend would actually admit that to him. Of course he had sneaking suspicions about Kacchan’s feelings over the years – Katsuki often let his eyes wander freely across Izuku’s body in their shared Agency locker room – but he had never in his wildest dreams expected Kacchan to verbally admit that his need for Izuku went beyond that of friendship. In fact, Izuku was finally starting to move on, tired of pining for Kacchan. He had been trying to go on more dates and to meet other people to see if he could pull his poor heart away from the gorgeously imposing figure that is Katsuki Bakugo.

Izuku’s mind speed runs through each time they’ve kissed, ending at this exact moment. Yeah, the energy is different here. He’s sure of it. He lets his hands run along the thick muscles of Katsuki’s shoulders and his brain fuzzily whispers “Mine, all mine.”

Quite suddenly, Katsuki drops to his knees and quickly starts undoing his friend’s belt.

“W-what are you doing, Kacchan!?” Izuku sputters in alarm, moving to push Katsuki away. But his brain is all wooly and his awkward limbs feel like jelly. All he manages to grab is the collar of Katsuki’s smart tux coat.

“I’m giving you a damn blowjob, idiot. ‘Gotta show you what you can’t get from anyone else.” Damn Kacchan – always going above and beyond in every challenge he takes on. And with that, Katsuki pulls Izuku’s leather belt free in one swift motion. He casts it to the floor before moving to unbutton the green-haired hero’s pants. As soon as he works the button loose, the tailored slacks slide to the floor, revealing a clean black pair of boxers. Izuku swallows hard and makes a stammering noise – but he doesn’t move cover his erection. Katsuki admires it with relish, and maybe a little hunger. He licks his lips like the big bad wolf, about to blow down some shoddily made houses.

“Huh.” Katsuki smiles roguishly, eyeing Izuku’s boxers appreciatively. “Seems like you want me bad.”

Izuku looks down and his already flushed face becomes even redder. His freckles have almost disappeared beneath the full blooming blush that’s dancing across his face. His boner is clearly outlined against his underwear and throbbing desperately for attention. If he weren’t so turned on, he would die from embarrassment.

“Am I making you hard?” Katsuki whispers menacingly, drawing his fingertip lightly up the outline of Izuku’s cock, which twitches longingly at the contact. Katsuki cackles softly, his hands moving up to caress the hard “V” Izuku’s muscles make along his waistline before dipping beneath the thin black fabric. Katsuki moves his fingertip up to his friend’s bellybutton, before tracing it down the delicate happy train that disappears into his boxers. Izuku shivers at the contact, goose bumps appearing across his pale, toned stomach.

Katsuki looks up into Izuku’s shining face and sees that his friend’s pupils are blown wide with desire. The way his freckles are flushed is so ridiculously sexy, and he’s biting his lip in a way that’s practically sinful.

“Kacchan…” he whispers uncertainly, and Katsuki softens.

“Listen, Izuku.” The use of Midoriya’s given name brings them both back to Earth. “I won’t do this if you don’t want to. Just say the word and we can forget this ever happened and go back to that stupid party in the ballroom.”

Izuku gulps, moving to run his fingers through Katsuki’s hair. The blonde leans into the touch, sighing despite himself.

“When I kissed you on my birthday…you never said anything. I thought you didn’t want me like this.”

“Of course I want you.” Katsuki breathes, getting to his feet. “This whole goddamn time.”

Katsuki stands a few inches taller than Izuku. He brings his hand up to caress the side of Izuku’s soft freckled jaw before closing the distance between them to kiss his best friend firmly on the lips.

“Do you think all those times we’ve kissed over the past few years were just because we were drunk or trying to blow off steam? We keep coming back to each other.”

Izuku’s mouth crinkles into a huge grin. He thinks back to the first time they kissed in an alleyway as they walked home from a bar. The feeling of Katsuki’s breath mingling with his own had caused his heart to leap in a way it never had before. Then their second make out session that had occurred a few hours into Mina’s birthday party. Their hands had touched reaching for the same bottle of booze, leading the pair to hide in Denki’s room under the guise of looking for a lost wallet. Katsuki had kissed him so hard and so fiercely that Izuku had been hot and bothered about it for months.

In the present, the Pro Hero steadies his breath, looking up into his friends’ surprisingly earnest face. “Kacchan, you sound so corny…”

“Oh shut up already, dammit.” Katsuki practically growls, dipping back to capture Izuku’s mouth in a more needy kiss. Their lips melt together in a frantic pattern and Katsuki pulls his friend’s body against his own again. They fit together like puzzle pieces, and can feel each other’s arousals plainly. Izuku groans softly when Katsuki rolls his hips. After a moment, Katsuki realizes that despite the locked door, they are still very much in a public place. Izuku’s trousers are awkwardly pooled around his feet. The blonde pulls away and laughs openly at the absurdness of the situation.

“Listen, nerd.” He says, but his voice is laced with affection. “Why don’t we go back to my place and figure all of this out?” The question is soft with warmth.

Izuku looks at him for a moment, his eyes hazy.

“But Kacchan…” Izuku wraps his arms around Katsuki’s shoulders, sliding fingers up the base of his neck and into Katsuki’s thick hair. The explosion hero gets goose bumps at the touch. He never realized how much he likes his hair being touched.

“We really need to fulfill our Pro Hero duties at this party. Our agency depends on it. And if we both leave together…” Izuku trails off.

“…It might look a little suspicious.” Katsuki finishes for him. Damn, the nerd had a point there.

“Ugh, you know I hate these goddamn parties.” Katsuki says harshly. “Sometimes being a Pro feels so fake. We get paraded in front of cameras and it makes me feel like a piece of meat.”

“I know.” Izuku consoles, continuing to stroke Katsuki’s soft hair. The gentle touch feels so good that Katsuki almost shuts his eyes. He never realized how starved he was for touch. He wants Izuku – all of him – so damn much. Screw this party and the press.

“But this is important. You know how important our image is. And how we look in the press doesn’t just impact us – think about all of our employees at the agency. Their jobs are interwoven with our media presence.” Izuku mutters, forever the voice of reason.

Katsuki knew all of this – and of course he wanted to take care of the people at their agency. He wouldn’t often admit it out loud, but he was fond of all of the people they employed on the day to day. Their team was amazing and did one hell of a job supporting their Pro Heros and sidekicks. He sighs.

“I know.” He plants another kiss on Izuku’s mouth. “So…let’s compromise. Here’s how this is gonna go…” Katsuki licks his lips and reaches down to brace his large hands on Izuku’s narrow hips. “I’m going to give you an orgasm that’s going to blow your fucking mind. Then you’re going to clean yourself up, put your pants back on and go out there cancel your goddamn sake date with that chick.”

“Kacchan – oh!”  He knows Izuku is going to admonish him for wanting to do something so dirty in public, so Katsuki starts to kiss and suck at the sensitive spot on the green haired Pro’s neck to shut him up. Izuku moans softly and it’s like music to the explosion hero’s ears.

“You’re such a goodie two shoes.” Katsuki breathes as he rolls his hips into Izuku’s. The shorter hero’s pelvis automatically bucks in response.

“I know.” Izuku practically whines as Katsuki unbuttons his starched shirt and continues to kiss along his shoulder. Once he’s undone a few buttons, the explosion hero dips his hand between them and begins to palm at Izuku’s hard dick over his boxer shorts.

All Izuku can say is “oh!”

Katsuki stops and pulls away, giving his friend a break. “It’s your call. Say the word and we can stop. I think I can manage to wait until after this goddamn party is over.”

Izuku lets out a shaky sigh and brings up his wrist to check his watch. He starts to lapse into his characteristic mutter - “Okay so it’s still happy hour for networking, so dinner and speeches don’t begin for another half hour. That means that as long as we make ourselves presentable by 8pm we should be good. We can even be a few minutes late because the opening remarks typically run over the allotted time so-”

“- So that’s a yes?” Katsuki cuts him off and rolls his eyes as Izuku snaps back to reality.

Izuku smiles up at him. He’s got that fierce look of Pro Hero determination in his eyes and it makes Katsuki’s stomach drop.

“Yeah, Kacchan. It’s a yes.”

And that’s all the answer Katsuki needs. In a flash, he’s back on his knees and his heart is beating double time. The time constraint is making the whole situation even more goddamn hot and Katsuki takes another deep, steadying breath before he moves forward. He counts to ten, and once his mind is a bit clearer he hooks his thumbs into the elastic of Izuku’s boxers. He slides the material fluidly down his friend’s toned, slim hips. Izuku’s hard cock bounces free and stands at attention. His dick is beautiful – about 6 inches in length and just the right amount of thickness around. With how unkempt the hair on top of his head always seems, Katsuki is surprised to see how well groomed Izuku keeps his pelvic area. He’s neatly primed and looking fresh. Izuku blushes an impossibly deeper red as he towers above his friend. You could fry an egg on the Pro’s face.

Katsuki feels his own pants tighten at the sight of Izuku’s fully erect cock. He shifts and reaches down to adjust himself to a more comfortable position. Izuku takes notice and audaciously says “like what you see?”

“Ugh, shut up!” Katsuki feels a blush creeping across his face, and Izuku grins down at him. He reminds himself that now’s not the time to be embarrassed – not when he’s promised a mind-blowing orgasm to his best friend.

Katsuki licks his lips in anticipation for what he’s about to do. He’s never given someone head before, but he’s seen some porn and fantasized about this enough to know the basics. Katsuki smiles to himself – he always prides himself at being the best. Blowjobs are just another skill waiting to be added to his already long roster.

He reaches out and takes Izuku’s cock in his hand. He marvels at how soft it feels, and experimentally gives the thick member a slow pump. Izuku groans at the motion, his hips flexing involuntarily. Katsuki grins wickedly and continues the gesture, reveling in the gentle throb he elicits from his friend’s dick. After a few moments, he stops to spit cleanly into his palm for some lubricant. The resulting glide the hand job gains is not lost on Izuku. The shorter hero moans at the smooth touch.

Katsuki leans forward and runs his tongue around the cock’s tip a few times. Izuku whimpers at the teasing. For a brief moment, Katsuki wonders if Izuku has ever had his dick sucked before. He fleetingly thinks that he is about to knock whatever past sexual experiences Izuku has had out of the park. He is confident whatever he is about to do to his friend will be far superior to any past illicit affairs.

The explosion hero takes his friend’s dick into his mouth slowly, sucking on the head. Izuku groans and Katsuki takes that as encouragement to keep going, sliding the hard member a few more inches into his hot wet mouth.

“Kacchan…this is just…wow.” Izuku stutters out, as Katsuki uses his hand to pump the base of Izuku’s cock. He slides another inch into his mouth before he hollows out his cheeks and sucks, pulling his mouth quickly off of his friend’s cock before sliding back down. He continues the motions, gaining a steady pace and causing Izuku’s breath to become more and more ragged. Even with all of his training, the Pro hero’s legs are shaking, and his knees start to buckle. Katsuki stops what he’s doing to check in with his partner – “You doing alright up there?”

“Yeah.” Izuku says, his voice shaky. He wipes some sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. “It’s intense.”

Katsuki grins and hauls himself up to kiss Izuku before pushing the shorter man against the wall.

“I’ll make it a little easier on ya.” He gets back to his knees and with no effort swings one of Izuku’s legs over his shoulder. “I’ve got you.”

Izuku sighs and threads his fingers back into Katsuki’s thick blonde hair. The explosion hero groans as Izuku lightly pulls on a few strands.

This reaction seems to push Izuku over the edge – because when Katsuki finds the right angle to wrap his mouth back around his friend’s cock, the green haired hero is already summiting the peak of pleasure. His hips buck lightly towards Katsuki, and working together they are able to find the perfect rhythm to bring Izuku past the point of no return.

“K-k-Kacchan!” Izuku whispers through gritted teeth, his eyes half closed and rolling back as he reaches orgasm. Katsuki keeps going – he’s holding up Izuku’s toned ass with one hand as he continues to suck with a steady pace. With his free hand, he oscillates between pumping the base of Izuku’s dick and fondling his balls.

Izuku tightens his grip on Katsuki’s head and pulls the blonde’s hair hard. Katsuki almost cums in his pants at the sharp tug. He has never realized how much he likes getting his hair pulled. He had also never in his fantasizes thought that Izuku might be one for hair pulling – but damn does it make sense. As Izuku jerks a lock of his hair again, Katsuki involuntarily lets out a moan. The vibrations from his moaning send a shiver across Izuku’s already over-stimulated body. It seems to be just the thing he needs to climax.

“K-Kacchan…ah!...I-I’m gonna…” Izuku groans out, and attempts to pull his dick away from Katsuki so he can cum. Not a chance. Katsuki remains steadfast, licking and sucking like his life depends on it.

He holds onto Izuku’s bucking hips with a vice grip, and when the Hero cums it’s right into Katsuki’s waiting mouth. Katsuki almost splutters and coughs at the foreign feeling of the sticky fluid flowing down his throat, but he masters himself. Years of training and discipline have given him hard-earned control over his body and mind. After a moment of uncertainty, he’s gulping down the hot liquid greedily. He lets Izuku ride out his high as the green-haired Pro Hero shoots ropes of hot cum down his friend’s throat.

“Kacchan. Oh, God!” Is all Izuku can say as he thrusts into Katsuki’s mouth. His cock slowly looses its vigor and becomes too sensitive. He yelps as Katsuki pulls his mouth off the length with a sharp smack of his lips.

Katsuki smiles smugly as he lowers Izuku back to the ground and wipes off his mouth with the back of his hand. His friend’s legs are wobbly, and with difficulty Izuku pulls on his boxers. Clothed again, he sinks down to sit with his back against the locked door. 

“So?” Katsuki smiles as he reaches down to adjust his cock in his tuxedo pants. He’s so painfully hard, but he still takes the time to gloat. “Best you’ve ever had, right?”

“Y-yeah.” Izuku lets out a shaky laugh. “You were right – definitely blew my mind.”

After a moment of catching his breath, the Pro Hero notices his friend’s discomfort. “Kacchan – come over here.”

Katsuki hadn’t realized that he had been keeping his distance from Izuku just to admire him coming down from his high. Awkwardly, he shuffles to sit next to his agency partner. Izuku’s eyes are heavy and his face is covered in a sexy sheen of sweat. He quickly glances at his watch. “We’ve still got 10 minutes, Kacchan – lose the pants.”

Katsuki doesn’t need telling twice. He lets out a tense breath before hastily undoing his own belt and trouser buttons. Within seconds, he’s sitting in his bright underwear, cursing himself for wearing such an obnoxiously vibrant orange under his dress clothes for the event. But really - how could he have anticipated that he was going to get laid tonight!?

Izuku lazily runs his hand along Katsuki’s clothed length, and once again the explosion hero needs to re-focus his mind to avoid cumming then and there. Izuku’s eyes are large and unfocused; he’s still absolutely undone from his orgasm. He takes his sweet time teasing Katsuki – running his finger lightly along the delicate skin under the boxers’ elastic. Katsuki’s cock twitches beneath the thin fabric of the boxers – begging to be touched.

Without warning, Izuku’s hand makes it’s way beneath Katsuki’s boxers and frees his hard, tense member. Katsuki gasps at the sudden contact, almost disbelieving that Izuku intends to make him cum. Izuku takes a moment to admire his friends’ cock. “You know…I never imagined it would be this big.”

“Shut up, nerd.” Katsuki snaps as Izuku starts to jerk him off at a painfully slow pace. He’s glowing at the compliment despite himself. Before long, Izuki is pumping Katsuki’s thick cock in a way that’s making the explosion Hero see stars.

“Dek-Izuku.” Katsuki breathes, encouraging Izuku to go faster. The green haired hero quirks his mouth into a lazy smile as he obliges, he’s clearly still fuzzy from his own orgasm. Katsuki pants as his heart does zigzags in his chest. He leans back and closes his eyes, focusing on the sensation of his best friend jerking him off.

“You know, Kacchan…” Izuku says mischievously. “I never guessed you would be so into-” With his free hand, Midoriya grabs a fist full of Katsuki’s hair and pulls his head back. “-this.”

Katsuki moans deliciously at the sudden contact, all his toughness and bravado have melted away. He wants more – he wants Midoriya to keep pulling his hair and talking dirty to him. He wants to feel every little sensation his friend is willing to give. As Izuku continues to tease and pull and indulge his friend, Katsuki feels his body tensing up with pleasure. He’s about to tip over the edge of overstimulation when…Izuku’s mouth wraps around him. The noise that comes out of Katsuki’s mouth is a mix between a cry of surprise and a growl.

Izuku pushes his lips slowly down Katsuki’s shaft as he continues to move his hand up and down at the base. Inch by inch, Izuku rolls his mouth down until the entirety of Katsuki’s cock is throbbing against his tongue. He stays there for a moment, letting his partner get used to the sensation of being fully sheathed.

The only sound that can be heard in the dimly lit room are Katsuki’s rasping breaths and the gentle hum of conversation that drifts toward them from the filled ballroom.

After a few tense moments, Katsuki’s hips buck lightly and the tip of his cock hits the back of Izuku’s throat. Izuku breathes through his nose, adjusting to the motion with practiced ease. Katsuki’s heart ricochets even more in his chest – has Deku been a secret master at deep throating this whole time!?

He doesn’t have time to dwell on the question – because suddenly Izuku is sucking Katsuki’s soul out of his body via his dick. The green haired man is slurping and licking and making the sloppiest, sexiest sounds Katsuki has ever heard come from a human body.

“Ah…s-slow down…I’m gonna -” Katsuki groans out in a low voice. He’s never felt anything like this in his life, and he needs to remind himself to keep breathing. Izuku re-threads his hand in Katsuki’s hair again and pulls hard. All of the stimulation has the explosion Pro crying out in both pain and pleasure and without warning his body releases all of it’s pent up energy and he cums – hard and fast.

“Izuku!” He grunts loudly, not caring whom from the gala might hear. When Katsuki cums, Izuku slides his mouth all the way to the top of his cock and licks the impossibly aroused tip. Katsuki watches in bliss as his ejaculate pours down Izuku’s tongue and drips down his chin. Izuku uses his hand to pump the hard dick to completion, before bending back down to lick his friend’s cock clean. Katsuki moans softly at the contact – his cock is twitching and impossibly over stimulated. Nevertheless, Izuku’s mouth feels impossibly good as it moves up and down Katsuki’s sticky shaft.

Bakugo drops his head back against the wall again, catching his breath. Through heavy eyelids he watches Izuku reach for his abandoned tuxedo pants and draw a green handkerchief from the pocket. He wipes his sticky mouth smugly, knowing that Katsuki is still watching him like a hawk.

“Have you done that before?” Katsuki says, a note of jealousy lacing his harsh tone.

Izuku smiles at him, revealing nothing.

 “You cheeky bastard.” Katsuki admonishes, but he still puts an arm around Izuku and pulls their bodies together gently. Izuku drops his pants back to the floor and leans in to give his best friend a long, sloppy kiss. They are both sex-drunk and blissed out and impossibly content as they lean against each other – Izuku in his underwear and Katsuki naked from the waist down.

Katsuki thinks to himself that the image must be comical – two top Pro Heros absolutely wrecked and hiding a few doors down from the biggest party of the year, covered in sweat and cum. A laugh bubbles out of him at the thought. Izuku smiles up at him with those big green doe eyes and starts laughing too. Katsuki can’t decide what’s more hilarious – the position they’re in, or the fact that it took them so many years to do this.

After a moment of laughter, Izuku checks his infamous watch.

“We really should get back, Kacchan.” He reaches for his trousers and awkwardly wiggles back into them, his shaking hands struggling to get the buttons done. Katsuki likewise reaches for his undies and stands to pull them back on. He sighs a simple “yeah.”

He stretches out a hand to pull his friend to his feet before reaching down to re-button Izuku’s pants for him. “Thanks.” Izuku laughs as he tries to pat fresh wrinkles out of his suit.

Katsuki’s legs feel like jelly as he struggles to pull his own pants back on. His heart is still doing a fizzy macarena dance in his muscular chest. He does a few jumps in place, trying to shake all of the buzzing energy out of his body. It’s time to get back to work.

He reaches for the lock on the door, and is surprised when Izuku’s hand reaches out to rest on his own. He looks back at his agency partner with questioning eyes. Katsuki narrows his eyebrows as he says, “Weren’t you the one that said we needed to get back for all of the dumb speeches?”

Izuku ignores the question. “So what do we do now?” He says softly, almost fearfully.

Katsuki removes his hand from the door and turns it so that Izuku’s palm is resting in his own. He interlocks their fingers.

“I figured that was obvious. Or are you too stupid to figure it out?” He ejects – maybe a bit too harshly. Izuku blinks. Dammit, this nerd will be the death of him!

Katsuki continues: “You’re going to walk out there and break off your date with that support chick.” Katsuki pulls Izuku to his chest and leans down to kiss his soft lips. “We’re going to sit through this stupid dinner party. And then we’re taking a cab back to my place to finish what we’ve started.” He kisses the other Pro harder this time, letting their lips melt together. He raises a hand to cup Izuku’s cheek in a gesture that is too intimate for a run-of-the-mill hookup. Izuku understands.

“So we’ll talk about this later. We’ll finally figure out what we are to each other?” Izuku says softly as he breaks the kiss.

“I think we already know what we are, you damn nerd. But if you need me to spell it out for you-” He takes yet another steadying breath. “– we’re together. We’re a thing. Just don’t get all weird about it like you do.” But it’s too late, because Izuku has already shifted into his characteristic babble mode.

“Oh my God! Of course we’re together. I mean, I’ve liked you since school! I always thought that you were just annoyed with me until we became close at the end of our first year. And then all those times we kissed and the other times I caught you looking at me in the Agency locker room – and that time you took Ochako on a date for some reason but we all knew you didn’t give a crap about her romantically. I had a feeling you liked me. But this – this is - ” Izuku is muttering nonstop and Katsuki cuts him off with a smooth, hard kiss.

“Izuku. There’ll be time to talk about all this shit later.” He reaches over to tap his partner’s watch. “We’re running late now, dammit. Come on – let’s get out of here.”

And they do. They go on to the gala in the ballroom where they spend the entirety of the night exchanging conspiratorial glances and soft smiles. And when awards are announced and they win Agency of the Year, the pair practically glows as they straighten their ties and walk up to the stage together.

“This award means the world to us.” Izuku chirps brightly into the microphone, accepting a gold trophy from last year’s Agency of the Year recipient. “To be recognized at such a young age by such a prestigious panel of Pros. Sorry if I get a little emotional – this is a dream come true. Thank you to all of our fans and friends for believing in us and helping us to shape our agency into a true force for good. And to my partner, Katsuki Bakugo, thank you for believing in me and for challenging me to be my best everyday and in every situation.” Katsuki blushes as he picks up on the subtext. Izuku pays him no mind as he finishes off his speech. “There’s no one else I’d rather share this moment with.”

It’s Bakugo’s turn now, and he almost rolls his eyes when he sees how watery Izuku is looking – he’s clutching the trophy as if it’s made of solid gold.

Katsuki leans into the microphone and says “I told you all at the UA Sports Festival my first year – I’m going to be the best. And I did it.” He mean mugs for the camera, an echo of his old self – the angry, hostile teen he once was. After a moment, he lets the look melt off of his face. He’s come so far in the past decade – he’s become a better friend, a better man, and hopefully…hopefully he’s become the kind of person who can be a good romantic partner. But for that role – he’ll need to wait and see.

“In all honesty, this means so much. Thank you to my parents, and to all of our friends from UA for supporting us along the way and for picking me up when I stumbled. Thanks to my mentors Best Jeanist and All Might who saw potential in me even when I was just an angry kid who liked to talk a big game. Thank you to all of the staff at our Agency who make coming to work everyday rewarding. And lastly – I want to thank Deku, who has been with me from the very beginning and helped me to grow into the Pro I am today.” He turns and smiles at Izuku, who beams back at him, teary eyed. “Alright, that’s all the sappiness the press is gonna get out of me today. Move along to the next award.” They exit the stage as Present Mic – the perpetual MC in the Pro Hero world – retakes the podium to announce the winner for “Sidekick of the Year.”

Katsuki and Izuku walk back to the table their sponsored Agency table. They return to handshakes and celebratory pats on the back from their staff. Everyone is cheering and grinning – the award celebrates everyone at the agency’s hard work and dedication. Katsuki feels his heart swell with warmth at the way everyone is beaming and celebrating. He shakes hands and claps the backs of the co-workers around him, basking in everyone’s joy. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the pretty Hero Support independent contractor (who had boldly asked Izuku to drinks) bat her eyelashes at the green-haired Pro. She congratulates Izuku in a bubbly tone as she pulls him into a tight hug that squishes her ample chest against his muscular pecks. Katsuki rolls his eyes as they break apart, noting the light blush on his partner’s face. They all retake their seats as the ceremony continues.

“Don’t get too comfy, extra.” He calls across the table to the independent contractor woman. “Deku and I have a Pro Press tour directly after dinner. So don’t even bother flirting with him.”

The woman, taken aback at Katsuki calling her out, blushes a deep red and excuses herself – making a beeline for the ladies room.

“Kacchan!” Izuku admonishes, looking after the woman with concern. Despite the sharp scolding, Katsuki can tell Izuku is quite pleased at the jealousy the situation has brought out in Katsuki. “That wasn’t nice! Apologize to her when she comes back.”

“Fine!” Katsuki sighs, moving his hand discreetly under the table to rest on the smooth fabric of Izuku’s thigh. The One-For-All wielder almost yelps in surprise, but catches himself. Katsuki lowers his voice, so that only the two of them can hear “I just don’t want her getting her hopes up, when we both know whose bed you’re going to be in tonight.” He continues to move his hand further and further up Izuku’s thigh, lightly squeezing along the way.

“You’re a menace to society, Kacchan.” Izuku sputters out, batting Katsuki’s hand away from his leg and interweaving their fingers instead.

“I know.” Katsuki smiles wickedly and squeezes his lover’s hand beneath the table. “And you love it.”

“I do.” Izuku sighs, rolling his eyes. “For some reason, I really do.”

Big surprise – Izuku ditches the sake date with the hero support woman so he can spend the night at Katsuki’s. They keep each other up well into the night. 💚💥

[shorthaltsjester]

sometimes people will say “going dark” and then what they’re actually talking about is just people no longer presenting a carefully constructed version of their emotions and experiences.

like. emotional turmoil is not the same as darkness. laudna in this Fictional Universe that has tangibly different stakes wrt to death and killing than our own, is at best like . morally neutral for what she just did like. man has been secretly trying to kill you, and then just tried to do so again, killing him back is a fair choice. and even if i was someone who is excited by delilah’s inability to escape from the narrative, this shit isn’t about delilah. laudna made a choice. if delilah is back or whatever it’s a choice that laudna made because something in that grants her more control than her existing conditions did. this isn’t some Delilah Takes Over, it’s Laudna Expressly Makes The Choice To Call Forth Something within Herself to remedy the lack of control that’s been thrust upon her. if y’all want to Continue to limit Laudna’s agency (as the cr fandom is so, so want to do when a female character makes a choice that isn’t Good according to some weird system of virtue ethics) go ahead.

likewise with orym. little guy is not “going dark” because he has finally made direct action about his emotional turmoil in dealing with a situation which has similarly left him without control and has also placed him in a position where his stalwart conviction towards protecting and honouring those he loves and has lost alike is constantly met with other people he cares for going well.. what if they had a point/we are killing other peoples loved ones/etc. which like . yeah that might be frustrating and in fact might lead him to go, actually, i can’t afford to try and maintain some abject morality where I carry a locket that will literally only provide guilt. orym is completely committed to his beliefs, the locket and what it represents has never been a limit to what he will do, only a reminder of the consequences of what he might cause in those actions. but they Are at war and orym has a billion things on his plate. he can put down the locket. especially when bor’dor is the explicit manifestation of that locket’s symbolism. the subtext rapidly became the text and orym doesn’t need a reminder. it’s there in the fact that team issylra is walking away with two friends, not three.

these are character who have at every turn denied their own emotions in various forms while still being acutely aware of what they deny, whether that awareness was/is fully realized or not. many of laudna’s early convos with ashton show us that there is some awareness to the lighthearted spooky goth girl and how that persona fades when she thinks too much about what has led her and maintained that reality. likewise the entirety of orym’s story thus far is defined by his grief in a very literal sense, it Has extended from that grief to also the commitment he had to the purpose of figuring out the assassination attempt on keyleth but as we have seen, that purpose has fallen apart. paired with the quasi-reopening of his grief that was getting to see will again only to have to turn away, i don’t think there’s a lack of awareness in orym of how much he hurts. but between his actions and 4SD, that hurt tends to get buried under guilt or Responsibility.

and now, finally, both of them have admitted to that Not in the safety of small introspection or one-on-one conversations but with actions that they cannot shy away from or deny. laudna killed bor’dor and orym encouraged her to. and it Is a complex situation but truly I don’t really think it’s a “going dark” one. because they’re not giving into some overhanging Darkness of Morality™, they’re admitting that they are hurt and have long been hurting.

or, y’know, tldr for those who continue to deny laudna and orym agency or fully villainise them for whatever weird reasons . you could listen to laudna and ashton’s conversation that pretty much lays it out explicitly. laudna claims she’s weak for having chosen to kill bor’dor. ashton denies that and affirms instead that, no, she’s hurt.

[flysafepapi]

I'm not going to lie, I love that all the little moments between Rhaenyra and Alicent were largely subtext and the scene with Mysaria decidedly was not, because that makes sense to me.

Rhaenyra's, largely, alone right now. Sure, she's got everyone around, I'm not saying no one cares for her, but it's either in one of two categories: her kids and those she cares for, and the advisors she's rapidly growing tired of.

Mysaria has been the only one, for quite a while, who isn't in either of those. She's resourceful, she could absolutely get by on her own, but she's choosing to stick around because, by her own admission, she knows that she can trust Rhaenyra. It wasn't a coincidence that she told that story about her father and said she made a promise never to trust anyone but she's still there. She could've left at any moment, but she didn't.

In comparison, nothing like that was ever going to happen with Rhaenyra and Alicent, even if everything hadn't happened the way it did, because they grew up together, if that makes sense. I don't think they would've been friends if they hadn't simply been in the same place at the same time. I don't think they didn't care for eachother, but there's a vastly different dynamic between the friendships you make because you're in close quarters and you might as well in comparison to the friendships you make because you both get along because you want to, if that makes sense?

Idk, I just don't think that the same situation would've happened if the Dance hadn't happened, because to me Rhaenyra's friendship with Alicent was largely proximity based. Their fathers worked together closely, they both probably were told to try and get along, it doesn't strike me as a thing that happened organically.

[amuseoffyre]

I got thinking today, while stuck on public transport, about the exchange at the academy:

Stede: You can't be Blackbeard without your... black beard. Ed: Come on, mate, that's all over. It was over years ago. My beard hasn't been black since I was young.

On the surface, Ed is being very literal about it, but as is often the case with him, there's a layer of subtext that goes completely over Stede's head, despite what he knows about Ed and his wish to leave piracy behind.

The subtext here is that he's wanted to stop being Blackbeard for years, ever since he was young, when he first adopted the monicker and persona.

We know that he wasn't Blackbeard when he was on Hornigold's ship. Hornighost in the Gravy Basket calls him Eddie (plus people like Anne, Mary and Izzy - people he knows well). This led me down a mental rabbithole of the information we're given in the gravy basket:

Ed takes Hornigold's presence on a deserted island at face value

"don't you want to know how I ended up here" "mutiny - it's always mutiny"

"last time I saw you, you said you were going to flay my skin off and feed it to me"

Ed's behaviour sliding back into an almost childish petulance, demanding that this pseudo-parent-figure acknowledges what he's done and provides approval

My working theory is that Hornigold's crew mutinied on him when Ed was still in his teens, maybe early 20s. They abandoned him on a deserted island "to let nature do the rest", which is why Ed isn't surprised to a) see him there, b) find him living off the stuff around him and c) dressed in scraps that he may have found from a wreck.

So this is when Ed stops being Eddie (except for occasional people who have known him since his youth) but before he becomes Blackbeard. I'm betting on this still happening when he was young, because Jack refers to him as Blackie and the frat-boy energy they both share suggests that this was what it was like in their post-Hornigold days. (Also supported by Yardies and Whippies - Jack tossing -ie on the end of words to yell it)

For the first time, they're the ones making the rules, doing what they want, ruling the roost. Ed holds onto this new name the same way he holds onto his weapons. There's implicit suggestion that he also tries to shield his real name by using Blackbeard instead, hammering home that this is the name that must be used - "Ed. The Blackie I knew woulda snapped your neck for calling him that" - "his name is Blackbeard or Captain, dog!"

And for a long while it's useful - it's a good, strong name. It becomes legendary as he fights for his survival and keeps staying alive, and is smart and cunning and skillful enough to rapidly rise up the unofficial ranks of the pirates of the Republic.

Only Ed gets left behind, trapped behind the beard and the name that goes with it. He has to maintain the status quo, keep doing what pirates do, and stay alive. Because, after all, the only way out that he knows of is death.

It hasn't been black since he was young. He hasn't really been Blackbeard since he was young.

[faivsz]

once i read this post i just had to write this out, but most of it feels like im just repeating what you said so i apologize in advance

Cal's journey on trying to move past The Fight and, as Greez put it, being 'more than a lightsaber' is such a well written struggle. It's all that he's knew- Being one of the few Jedi left, he was immediately put into a war and became a child soldier (a pre-teen at that, leading an entire battalion of clones alongside Jaro Tapal). After his master's death- He was alone. Cal hid himself, shut himself off from the Force, and lived a life working under the Empire who caused it all. Rather than acknowledging, understanding, and coming to terms with Tapal's death, he avoids it entirely, becoming evasive when inquired about his past. He has his regrets and guilt. When Cere and Greez finds him, he's reminded that he is a Jedi and has a responsibility. He's a protector of the Light and he had the ability to protect what is left of it. Through Cordova's recordings and Cere, he's also given a new perspective and lessons- He will struggle, he will face the darkness, but failure is not the end. There are those who are willing to fight. Of course, throughout his journey, it's difficult- For a while he believes that given a enough time, Cal and the Mantis crew could make an impact or even a noticeable dent in the Empire. They were small, sure, but there's that thought "with them, we can do it." He's a loyal guy- So much so that he's willing to throw himself in harms way to a point it kind of irritates the rest of the crew. Yet, it doesn't last. The Battle Scars novel kind of goes into this- Cal and his bond with the crew is put to the test and their differences begin to show. They all have their own goals, and Cal's wish to fight the Empire head on wasn't shared. Cere wanted to leave behind mementos of the Jedi for future generations to look to, Merrin's struggle in finding herself after being away from Dathomir for so long, then Greez whose getting old and wants to settle down. The idea of bonds and relationships confused Cal. He inquires Cere about what defines such, but even she couldn't give a good answer. It's a hard topic to understand. His relationship with Merrin, especially- There was always a romantical subtext with her and Cal yet it was never verbally acknowledged. He even gets jealous as Merrin temporarily got into small romantical relationship with another character in the novel. Though, throughout the book, we can see their love for each other conveyed through small gestures or indirect affirmations. Then the story of Survivor comes in. He has a new crew he's connected to, friends and allies. Cal's grown and matured- He has more experience. Things begin happen rapidly, left and right- He loses his crew, and is essentially alone again. Cal still holds a small grudge (although some more than others) against the original Mantis crew for departing ways, but with how things are turning out, he has to get over it and slowly heals the wound they left him with and lets them back in. During his ventures, he meets other people, hearing their stories of how the Empire affected them, how they ended up where they were, or their relationships with their companion. They're all individuals who lived their own life and made their own decisions despite dark times. Like the Mantis did. After they defeat Dagan, it seems like all is going to work out well. Cal was rekindling his relationship with Cere, which seemed to hit the hardest during the split. He even tells Cere that she could relocate the archive on Tanalorr, a telltale sign that he's come to recognize Cere's objective is just as important as his own. They were all excited for Tanalorr- It was a spark of potential and hope.

They all care for each other deeply in their own ways, but for Cal, acknowledging that he truly loved them meant that he had everything to lose. Attachment was dangerous, yet, in a way, was one of the few good things he had. Maybe it was time for him to leave behind the Order's teachings. Merrin making the move to abruptly kiss him during the Jedha jump started this. Had she not made the move then and there, Cal most likely would have kept his feelings to himself and push it down. With her initiation and Bode's previous prompting Cal to consider pursuing his feelings, he's once again come to the aspect of love vs his dedication to fighting. As soon as he's about to move forward, it all crumbles down. Cal isn't exactly given proper time to grieve, either. He's the person that either internalizes (as you pointed out), ignores his own conflict and own wants so he can focus on the bigger issue, or even shuts down once it becomes too much. We see all of this in the aftermath of Bode's betrayal. What hurts especially is that Cal, how many hours later after being knocked out, experienced Cere's death through a Force Echo. Not only did he leave her so he can confront Bode, his mentor that help set him on his path and rescued him on Bracca was dead because of it. The path to Tanalorr is a "sacrifice millions to save one person" or "sacrifice few to save the masses". Bode had asked at some point that once the Empire had came for them, would Cal be able to guarantee Kata's safety? It's a hard question to answer. But Cal was willing to give Bode another chance, because that's who he is. He wants to see the better of people. Even after meeting the person whom Bode is desperately trying to protect, they still can't see eye to eye, and it's the final straw.

Cal's finally pushed to the edge- He's lost almost everything and was betrayed by the person he's learned to trust and saw as a brother. His strength and compassion was used against him. Everything Cal bottled up, he lets it all out through the rampage in Nova Garon. He's unravelling, he's losing himself.

Bode and Dagan were prime examples of obsession that led them to harming the people they loved the most. Cal's seen what the dark side has done to people (Ninth Sister, Bode, Dagan, etc.) and how it can change people quickly (like with Cere). He almost followed the same path of crossing the line, yet Merrin was there to keep him grounded (similarly to how Cal was there to remind Cere back on Nur). Cal's reminded that vengeance isn't him. He's remorseful, realizing the person he could have become had it not been for her. They come to the decision to give Bode just one more chance. It can be said that since Dagan's the representation of obsession of the fight, Bode represented the immense obsession with the fear of losing a loved one. He already lost his wife, and was willing to do whatever it took to protect Kata, even going as far as to hurt her. The final stand off between Cal and Bode, Cal didn't shoot first. Bode tried to, and it was enough to tell Cal that Bode was truly lost. If he was left alive, he wasn't going to stop. Essentially, they were both just two people trying to protect what they have left. Cal needed to do what he had to. At the end of Survivor, he's scared. They technically won- They had access to Tanalorr, but inevitably lost more than what was gained. Cal's faced with uncertainty, walking forward blindly as the Empire expanded. Now he had Cere's legacy to add on and Kata to care for.

With everything that's happened and all that he's lost, Cal has to reconsider his stance and his fight against the Empire. He may not fight them head on as he did before- There were other ways of facing the Empire. With the Hidden Path beginning to grow as word spreads, Cal also has people to protect, and they needed each other more than ever- He doesn't want to risk losing more than he already has. They were but a few people on a small ship- maybe Cal needed to focus on what he has now, rather than the bigger picture. In conclusion, Cal has to keep moving forward. He knows this. One of the things I love the most about him is that, despite everything that's been thrown at him- the trauma, the loss, the struggle- Cal forces himself back up and keeps going. He doesn't know what's going to happen, but Merrin reassures him that they'll work through it, just as they have done before. Survivors adapt. He has a legacy to carry, yeah, but he's now he's learning to be something more than that. He has their teachings and lessons. Cal's gradually allowing himself to properly feel and acknowledge them. His selflessness is what harms him the most, but at the same time he's also selfish when it comes to people he loves. He needs to let go of of it all in order to grow. You can love, but they too are their own person that have their own lives. They can support one another regardless.

Kata, in a way, is a starting point for this growth. Cal and Merrin lost their families at a young age, and were left alone. Kata, having lost her mother to the Inquisitors, now lost her father. She may seem understanding of the situation, but processing it is different. While they all faced loss, the big difference is that Kata has them to help guide her through it all. She has support from them that Cal and Merrin didn't for years. They need to give her space and time without becoming overbearing, but they'll be there. It won't be the last time they'll face the darkness, but they aren't alone.

I have thoughts about Cal's trust issues and I'm going to make it everyone's problem

(with special thanks to @cal-with-a-kesett-tape and @weadapt's problem cause they started this blubbering mess)

It hit me like a brick earlier.

Cal knew the Mantis crew loved him.

Love wasn't enough to make them stay.

Cal has never had the chance to really sit down and think about what attachments really were and how they feel. Hear me out.

This started about Cal's trust issues. I started thinking yeah, the way his Mantis crew family left all of a sudden really shook them and he kind of replaced them subconsciously with a new crew, a new family. A couple of quick notes:

- Lost his master

- Loses all his friends on Bracca (it's implied in Jedi Survivor post-game dialogue that he had other friends besides Prauf that he left behind)

- Prauf

- Crew he grew to love left him jarring his whole world

- Lost his "new" crew suddenly and all he has left of that memory is Bode so he kind of clings to Bode unknowingly

- Bode betrayal shatters him

- Clings to the idea that he and Dagan could work together - for a split second you can see in his eyes he sees it all. He and Dagan, hair flowing in the wind, swinging lightsabers, fighting the empire together, rebuilding the order together, it's romantic really. That lasts all of 2 seconds and he's so confused.

- He loses Cordova, a man he had a pseudo-connection through BD-1 with for so long

- Loses Cere, his second master

- Has to literally kill Bode and live with that

That said, I started thinking yeah he probably doesn't really realize that how deep that all goes within him or how much it actually comes down to his lack of really knowing what attachments are. This is going to cause so many trust issues and him closing himself off because he can't handle the reality of losing more people, especially after Bode shattered his inner-most circle. How's he going to let people in again?

Then it hit me like a brick.

There's a big reason why he sees so much of himself in Dagan. Dagan's attachments turned sour - it went the Vader route of being possessive. His obsession with Sentari's project and Tanalorr was a product of not being able to let his attachments go. That's pretty clear in the game, and mirrored in how Cal has allowed "The Fight" to become his attachment.

Jaro's last words are, "Hold the line" right? We know how he now has this deep engrained need to be needed. He has to fight for something. Yes, it's all he knows, but it's deeper than that, it's the last thread he has to his master. What would happen if he let that go? Cal hasn't really sat and thought about that yet.

Not only that, Cal has internalized his loyalty to this cause as like. A familial thread. The fight was his thing and the Mantis crew became his family, filling a void. The fight is their thing. And for the first time in his life Cal feels safe again. He's finally got some solidly dedicated efforts and people he can depend on. So in them leaving the Fight behind (for good reasons!!) Cal can't reconcile that leaving that isn't leaving him too, (or as @cal-with-a-kesett-tape puts it, abandoning him) it's like denouncing loyalty to him too. He just can't separate that connection and his own attachment. Maybe that's reaching and obviously there's more to it, but I dunno guys, I dunno!!

YOU CAN LOVE EVERYONE SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT PEOPLE CAN AND WILL LEAVE OF THEIR OWN VOLITION!!

AND HE CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW THAT LOVE GETS POURED OUT IN HIS LIFE. CAL'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS LITERALLY LOYALTY AND QUALITY TIME AND THE FIGHT.

Again, there's a part of Cal that just never got to stand beside his master like the Padawans of the Republic Era got to and ask all their questions or be scolded like the way Ahsoka did about being too attached to her Master. She had to dig deep and understand what that meant, how to acknowledge it, and how to let it go. Cal has Cere but maybe she just assumed? Who knows. Cal obviously struggled with it more than anyone realized. No discredit to Cere, I just don't think it ever really crossed her mind. Or, you know, Cal's stupid stubborn especially with Cere. Maybe he just ignored her in classic Cal fashion.

All that stemmed from this:

The romance aspect.

He knows taking a romantic step forward is a risk in general. And yes there's all that subconscious hesitation because he's a Jedi. But there's a bigger problem at play with Merrin.

I have to wonder if he did in fact know how she felt about him before she left. And if he did, it's just so much worse.

To him, all this buildup of love and trust. Down the refresher the day she left. So I wonder, maybe a lot of his hesitation isn't about him accepting his feelings. Maybe he gets it. He just struggles with letting someone in again who, in his mind, so easily let him go. He now has to come to terms that he wants to ask her to stay. He has to acknowledge in his mind that he wants her enough to be ok with letting her back in, knowing she's her own person and there's a chance she has to go do her thing someday and he might just have to let her, and that would be ok.

Romance aside, he has to go through that the whole game. Letting the Mantis crew in again. Working things out with everyone, hearing them out, seeing them in their element and finally being at peace with the split - knowing they all made the right decision even if it hurt.

So all the parallels worry me, because yes, he may be more self aware. He might've learned a few lessons, might be more at peace with a few decisions, but the way he just stands in shock at the funeral pyres is just worrisome because you know he's internalizing things. Right when he feels like he's making a step forward, he's taking steps back. The darkness is there now too, and he's going to struggle, because he has more to protect.

This whole experience in survivor was such a crucial point in it but at the same time we know, it's also simultaneously reinforcing his fear of further abandonment and more trust issues, and also his fears of the dark side so I'm kind of nervous to see. Where is all of this culminates to in the next game because he's learned for sure but I also feel like some other things maybe got reinforce that shouldn't have.

Right when he was learning to move on from his attachment to the Fight, he has a new thing, rebuilding Cere's legacy and keeping Tanalorr safe. It's almost like he's doubled up on all of it. Maybe he'll learn to be at peace and let things go but for now, sweet baby boy's trust issues are off the charts!!!!

Anyway maybe none of that made sense and you don't have to agree these are just thoughts after all! Take care!

[justarandomgirly]

Finally someone is saying it!

More than any other Marvel Cinematic Universe film, Thor: Love and Thunder arrived with a certain level of queer expectation. Some fans hoped the second film from Thor: Ragnarok director Taika Waititi would bring considerably more of what the previous film did well — not just in terms of wit and color, but also an expansion of Ragnarok’s rich subtext, a surprising amount of which can be read as queer. In Hollywood, blockbuster success is typically rewarded with creative freedom. Queer audiences could understandably infer that Ragnarok awarded Waititi and his collaborators a stack of chips that could be cashed in, at least partially, on the queerer story he says he wants.

The company has effectively made queerness a marketing line item, using endless teases about groundbreaking gay characters to promote its films, the same way an award-winning actor’s casting gives a product some added heft. At the same time, it’s never once showed interest in telling an explicitly queer story. Disney profits from fans who elevate what queerness can be found in the text, and the company arguably gets good press when its meager offerings — a brief peck on the cheek here, a quick mention of a girlfriend there — still gets its movies banned by autocratic regimes that are hostile to all queer content.

This is a disservice to queer people on both sides of Disney’s pop culture empire — its audience and its creators alike. The former group is left adrift when the company line rejects entirely understandable queer readings of its films, like Pixar’s Luca. The latter group can also feel trapped in a Sisyphean struggle. As Owl House creator Dana Terrace said last spring, creators working to widen the inclusivity of Disney’s offerings are naturally frustrated, knowing their efforts are effectively burnishing Disney’s reputation but that the company can still burn them at any time.

On some level, Disney’s approach to queerness is shrewd and utilitarian, not unlike its approach to other kinds of representation. The company has learned it can add newfound longevity to the standard stories that built its modern brand — superheroes, fairy tales, and animated stories of belonging and discovery — by exporting them to other marginalized groups. Turning Red, Raya and the Last Dragon, Ms. Marvel — the thrill of works like these is that they stand in opposition to a reactionary, polarized culture, reminding audiences that stories about characters from marginalized groups can be and are universal. But that cuts both ways, because as far as Disney’s concerned, everyone’s money is just as good for its bottom line.

With that in mind, courting identity politics in mainstream pop culture is a bit of a devil’s bargain. People who are marginalized want to be brought into the wider pop cultural conversation, and the corporate gatekeepers of that conversation are happy to facilitate, so long as it adds to their profits. Everyone will have different thoughts on whether that trade-off is worthwhile for them, either as consumers or creators. But one thing is clear: Disney’s track record implies that it believes its queer audience can be bought more cheaply than others.

That can only work for so long. The economic advantage to being coy about queerness is rapidly drying up. Even the cursory gestures Disney has been making more and more often over the past five years are snowballing into right-wing blowback and angry punditry. So it’s worth wondering: If Disney’s shallow queerbaiting is enough to rile up reactionaries, shouldn’t it also be enough to earn the ire of an audience that has every right to demand more than empty lip service?

[physicalturian]

[18+] Deranged Love - Hanma Shuji x F!Reader - Part 23

[Probably contains spoilers from the anime and the manga][She/Her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone is +18]

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Only 2 chapters left!

Words : 10 585

Warnings : Explicit! / Manipulation / Gaslighting / Violence / Sexual subtext

- - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 -Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22

What happened yesterday was enough to have Rai take the day off, which I only learned through her absence at the office, not through a formal announcement. Sure, it was understandable for the woman to be shaken, but Hanma had told her he had been ‘joking’ for what it was worth. Clearly, it was not worth much considering she was taking so long to process it. Rai was not stupid, I knew that. It had been shown through how quick she had connected the dots, even with little help from external people. So, of course, Hanma’s little prank did not work on her, but at the time she had only gotten over it enough to kick us out. And yet, as much as the woman had been annoying and relentless, I feared for her life. She was not letting anything go, she was holding onto every piece of information she had, she was like a rabid dog.

And I knew full well what Hanma would say they did to rabid dogs in the organization…

That had me sigh in disappointment, it would be a shame to lose her over something so trivial.

“Excuse me, do you know where Rai Nayoko is? She’s a junior, she–” 

I smiled politely at the person who had interrupted my work and chuckled, “She is out of office today, heard she needed to take a day off. If there’s anything you need done you could try Kawahara Minori on the second floor. I think she’s arrived a few weeks ago, her workload’s pretty low.” I explained calmly. Inside I was boiling at Rai’s disappearance, because I knew she had not warned anyone. Perhaps a part of her thought she had a pass because she could use whatever info she had against me, but I was not going to let it get to me. Sure, her absence for the day confused everyone—not once had she missed a day of work—but if I managed to make it look normal, everyone would believe it to be true and normal indeed.

“I was worried for a second! I’ll do that, could you send me the bill of–”

Nodding once more, I grinned, “It’s on its way right now, I was just finishing it. Do find Minori.” And I sent them off. 

For some reason, my first instinct when I was alone once more was to text Hanma telling him that Rai was not here today. I wasn’t sure if I was telling him all this because I wanted to tell him about my day or if I thought he needed to know that specific information. I would like to think it was the latter, but part of me just wanted to talk to him.

That part felt even more excited when he replied rapidly.

H. : Didn’t kill her

H. : yet

H. : kidding

H. : cleaning up something then be ready at 5 main entrance

From the little emotions, or perhaps lack of any pictures or overused flirtatious words, I could guess he was currently ‘cleaning up’. My reply was short as I told him I’d be ready by then but I’d have to get changed.

His answer, while unexpected, was more than welcomed when I saw the short voice message I received from him, “Office clothes,” I heard a thud behind him and some metallic rattling, “can be hot, ya know, they fucking wish they could fuck you in that office in that skirt…  reminds me that we gotta do that, shit it’s on my bucket list. Tell me when you’re free for me to swing by–” the voice message suddenly stopped after hearing Hanma sigh angrily. A few seconds after, he sent another one, out of breath, “I’ll swing by and fuck you in front of those stuck up people if that’ll take the stick out of their ass. That could be fun.”

I had a hard time deciding if I liked the idea or if I just found it funny to hear him talk about such a topic while taking care of someone. At least, taking care by the definition of Bonten.

With a short scoff, I stood up and moved to the empty corridor as I replied with a voice message, “Great idea, but only once everything’s taken care of and I don’t have to look at Rai’s puppy eyes while you’re fucking me. I think it’d be funnier to do it in front of someone other than my co-workers though.” I paused and brought the phone closer to my mouth, “Thoughts on Ran as our one and only public?”

Then I let go and sent the voice message.

Saying such a thing must have for sure riled him up, that’s why I smiled down at the phone before putting myself on do not disturb. Excitement coursed through my body as I shoved my phone in my pocket and went about my day. Was it the best thing to do? Not really. But was I looking forward to seeing him frustratedly looking at me, telling me I was fucking around with something I shouldn’t. Because deep down I hoped that’d be the thing that’d make him cave in and fuck me.

The entirety of the day, I was tempted to look at the screen or check if he had seen my message but I thought it’d be a lot more tasteful if I had his reaction in person. Half the time I was zoning out, thinking about Rai’s absence and what it meant, while the rest of the time I was over excited to see his pissed off expression after my suggestion.

It did not take a genius, after the many times I mentioned him, to know that Ran was a sensitive topic. But I also knew Hanma was rather… territorial, and I wanted to see it in action. I wanted to see if that one small push would be enough to be the tipping point to make him fuck me. I had been more than a fool to believe that for even one second. Hanma, while being an impulsive man, had the most restraint when it came to, well, me. It surprised me, knowing how easy he’d punch a man for speaking to him with an ounce of disrespect—how he’d get in a fight with anyone who would be too boring for him and thought themselves to be better than everyone in the room. 

But that impulsivity sometimes proved itself to be one of the easiest ways to get me aroused—I thought about it when walking by the corridor in which I had met Ran a few weeks back. That time Hanma had been waiting for us when Ran tried to have his way with me, I had never felt more relieved from seeing what I thought, at the time, was the worst psychopath I had ever encountered.

With time I learned to rely on him, to relish his presence, his touch, to even yearn for the latter—which to everyone but me sounded fucked up. I was aware that the person I was before all of this would also find it strange, but things had changed. 

Things had changed in ways that made it hard to decide where I stood—was I still on that fine line between good and bad or had I crossed it yet? Good and evil both were concepts that did not sit right with me, and sat even worse with Bonten. They surely called themselves monsters and thrived on that reputation, but they did not believe their actions to be evil, bad. Or perhaps, not all.

Instead of reflecting on where my morals stood, I looked ahead and walked out of the hub—surprised to not see Hanma. As I was about to grab my phone, my wrist was gripped forcefully and I was dragged to a familiar car, my heart thumping in my chest. Looking up, I grinned at Hanma’s chest and was forced against the car—the first words that came out of his mouth were, “Either your phone’s dead or you are, doll.”

That was enough to have me smiling like an idiot, something I shouldn’t have been doing but still did when I met his gaze—that fiery gaze shining with something that sent chills through my body when he tilted his head to the side and smiled sweetly. “Here, you’ve gone mute, let’s see which it is.”

His hands patted down my body to find my phone then with one simple gesture, the screen lit up. Tons of missed calls, messages and notifications adorned it before he shoved it in his pocket, “D’ya think it’s funny?” He asked before suddenly pressing his cheek against mine as he whispered playfully, yet threateningly, “Of course you do, you’re almost shaking in excitement.”

Then he stepped away, tugging me from the car, and opened the door before shoving me in the backseat. “Wouldn’t want you to get the wrong idea, I’m not giving you shit attention after that stunt.” And before I could join him in the front, he slammed the backdoor shut and locked the car before getting in the driver seat. He did not wait much before starting the car and out of habit, I knew we were going to his place—after all, we had to get changed for the meeting Koko had asked us to attend. I did not know yet who would be there, but asking Hanma right now would only make him mad.

Instead, I tried to make things better.

Tried being the key word.

“I was only half-kidding…” I said, leaning on the back of his seat, earning myself a dry scoff from the man, but I could see his fingers drumming on the wheel. “But maybe what I am saying is that it would show him–”

“What would it show him?” Hanma inquired, looking at me through the rearview mirror. “That you’re looking for any opportunity to whore out just cause you haven’t been fucked yet?” He spat, his smile turning slightly bitter as those words left his mouth. As if he had flipped the switch, his face turned fully playful as he let his head hit the back of the seat, “So maybe you need a little reminder.” His voice, sweet, sing-song, it was unthreatening. But that’s exactly what made it so.

I did not dare speak thus making the rest of the drive silent once I sat back down properly.

The moment we arrived at the building, I was yanked out of the car but this time I made sure to keep up with his pace to not feel that strong tug of his on my arm. A wince still escaped my lips and I felt like a child being berated. What awaited me back at his place was anything but what a child would get upon being told off—when we crossed the door of his apartment, after an excruciatingly silent ride up the elevator, I was pushed to the couch back first.

A yelp escaped my lips but it did not mean much as I smiled at the sight of Hanma resting one knee on the armrest while undoing his belt, “Look at you, you don’t even fear whatever I’m gonna give you anymore.” He breathed slowly, his eyes roaming all over my body. Why would I fear fucking him? I didn’t care if he hit me, it made it more fun—what?

“Fuck, you’re that excited to get beaten up?” He scoffed. His hand reached for the front of my shirt—he pulled me up by the collar to have me sit, then told me to sit on my knees. I quickly did, knowing full well how desperate it made me. In an attempt to keep some dignity, I managed to say, “Am I supposed to fear the Reaper? So far he’s been pretty nice, but maybe you’ve gone soft.” I smiled sweetly, “I think that’s it.”

Suddenly, his hand was on my throat as he pulled me towards him with a wicked smile on his lips, “Soft? Baby, you’ve just spiraled down, that’s why you think I’ve gone soft.” He mocked. One second later, his hand was on my neck and I had his belt wrapped around it. Gritting through my teeth, I met his gaze and told him this was boring, he should fuck me, but he only tutted me like an idiot. “Boring? I’m giving you exactly what you need.” He breathed against my lips as he tightened the belt around my throat, making me gasp at the pain and lack of air—smiling, he reached for something in his pocket. My eyes never left his until I felt the metallic texture against my skin and looked down the best I could at his hands.

A knife.

Before I could say anything, he started pressing the tip in the belt while talking, “Because, if someone sees a dog in the street… even if you know it’s yours, they can’t know it’s yours unless it has–” He paused and with one swift movement, the excess of leather was cut and I felt him touch something on what was left of the belt. “A collar.” He grinned, looking at my neck.

Locking gazes with him, my eyes widened. I then patted at my neck and felt the much smaller sized belt that had the role of a makeshift collar around it. “You bastard–” I was interrupted by Hanma pulling at the collar to have my face close to his, “You bitch.” His lips met mine agressively—he pushed me to the couch before straddling my lap and wrapping his hand on the collar, close to my chin, “You bitch in heat, ready to get fucked by a Haitani.”

With the little air I had left, I gasped, “In front of—not by.”

The pressure on my windpipe stopped when Hanma’s eyes met mine again and his blank expression slowly turned into one of pure elation, “Thought you were Molly? Trophy wife or something? When will you get in that thick,” he tapped my temple, “little,” another tap, “brain of yours that I’m not fucking sharing, mh?” His hand returned to cradle my face, his nails digging in the back of my jaw strongly.

When the pain of his grip was too much, I clasped his hands and moved them from my face before lifting my head to brush my nose against his, “Don’t wanna be shared, just showed off.” Our lips met and this time, I felt him smile in the kiss as our tongues battled while his hands moved to lift my ass. He helped me take off my skirt then let me fall back on the couch, out of breath, “Let’s do that then, yeah?” Hanma then threw my skirt to the side and looked at me expectantly before suddenly getting off the couch, “You wanna get all dolled up and show them you’re more than just a pretty face, is that what you wanna do?” He asked with a hand extended towards me. Hesitantly, I reached for it and held it only to be tugged off the couch and to my feet, “I’d say the collar should stay, thoughts?”

My hand flew to the belt around my neck at the mention, my cheeks heating up the moment I felt the leather. Seeing him that angry over the suggestion of inviting Ran was almost flattering; although I did not know if he had been that angry over sharing his toy or over sharing me… Both were the same to him, but not to me. With a chuckle, I said,  “It’s a bit excessive, don’t you think?” That made him laugh with a shake of his head, “A necklace or a homemade love collar, it’s the same, right?” As he said that, he gently undid the remains of the belt from my neck and tossed it on the low table. We stood there, close to one another in silence for a few moments. Not one sound coming from us, nothing coming from outside either considering how high up we were. 

The silence was broken with a gesture: Hanma’s hand grazing up my exposed thigh to my panties as he played with the hem slowly. My breath hitched in my throat at the sensation of his skin against mine—I was on edge, it had been so long since he’d been promising to give me what I wanted. I did not know how much longer I could wait for him to finally abandon whatever goal he had set for me because no matter how much I tried to prove myself to him, it was not enough.

I did not know what more I could do to show him I was worthy of him.

“Pick something hot and put it on, we’re leaving in thirty minutes.” He stated right before moving to his room and changing into a different suit. I was glad there were still some dresses from the casino night hanging on his wardrobe and among these I picked one that had a plunging neckline, solely to show off the tattoo I had gotten on Saturday. Perhaps it was too much, but we had both agreed on showing me off. So, while I was not the most comfortable at first with such a cut, when I saw how good it looked in the mirror I thought it was a good idea. I looked deadly, and felt like it too knowing I had a holster on my thigh that seemed well hidden under the fabric.

I even gave myself a once over, smiling proudly at how I looked until I felt Hanma pull down the neckline to expose my breasts. I quickly covered them and looked at him in annoyance, “The fuck was that for?”

“Just showing you how easy it is to see your tits.” 

“Which is a good thing for you, right?” I replied instantly, pushing him with force as I put the dress back properly.

“Anyone could see your tits.”

“But no one will, they have some manners. Not much, I’ll give you that, but some.” I explained as I placed my hand flat on his chest, “So it’s just a win for you, it’s very easy to just…” I looked at the strap on my shoulder and lifted it a second as I looked at Hanma with a smirk then stopped and pushed myself away from him, “Not that you’d fuck me. So it’s just easier for me to get undressed and shower I guess.” Before I could fully leave the room, Hanma wrapped his hand around my wrist and pulled me back towards him with a huge manic grin, “Didn’t peg you to be a tease, babe. Is that a bright new personality trait you got just for me?”

And while I scoffed in fake offense at his words, I truly believed it was exactly that—a way for me to act to keep him entertained. I did not mind it one bit, but I did not believe that trait would have come to light if I hadn’t met him. A great many things wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for him… because of him…

“Flattering yourself is a great quality one must have. Who else would do it but you, hm?” I asked playfully before walking towards the door.

Hanma laughed loudly at that and opened the door wide, letting me walk out first as he said, “I’d say the constant begging for my dick is a lotta flattering you’ve been doing, babe.”

Then without thinking much, I shrugged and looked over my shoulder, “If I wanted to flatter you, I’d say sometimes you look cute when you smile. Sometimes.” And that had the man stunned. Both him and I were shocked by what I had said, both embarrassed for a short moment until he walked past me to enter the elevator with his now usual arrogant expression, “Keep that energy for the meeting, that should make it fun.” He drawled. He then reached for my hand and tugged me inside the elevator, pressing the right button while still keeping me close to him.

His hand moved from my hand to my shoulders soon after as he draped his arm over them, the back of his head resting on the wall of the elevator as he sighed. “Feel free to not listen to shit, I do that. Most of the time.” But I doubted his words. He liked to act like he didn’t care but the man was observant, he was ready to gather any sort of information at any given point. He was scary.

I gave him a short laugh as we walked out of the elevator and saw the new doorman. Hanma waved at him with too much enthusiasm and stopped in front of him, “Are we happy to have been promoted?” He asked with a huge grin to the guy. Promotion? Was this someone from Bonten? How much would one be paid if they were part of a gang only to be a doorman? “I’d rather have worked for Mikey.”

“Don’t I pay you good money though? You should thank me.” Hanma clicked his tongue and nudged the man on his way to the car. I gave the ‘doorman’ a small nod and an apologetic smile before getting in the car with Hanma, something I had been doing way too much recently. The stress of going to this meeting was only growing the further we drove, and the only solution I found to it was to close my eyes and try to sleep it off—something Hanma did not want one bit. His hand was quick to find my thigh and hold it tight as he nudged me awake, “Sanzu hasn’t even started talking and you’re already sleeping?” He scoffed lightly, then threw me a glare, “Let your guard down out there and you’re fucking dead, got that?” He added, dead serious.

That definitely woke me up, I thought as I moved my head from the back of the seat and looked at him a few seconds before crossing my arms across my chest, “I won’t doze off. I just don’t know how long it’ll take to get there, so I thought I’d get some rest.” Just as I said so, the screen on the dashboard lit up with nothing but a phone number on it, was it a random person? Why would anyone call at this hour?

Hanma pressed the button on the steering wheel and picked up. He did not have time to say hello before the person on the other end angrily started talking. I recognized Koko’s voice, “Where the fuck are you? You better get here before Mikey does! The fucking audacity you have to not arrive before–”

“What, am I the last one to arrive?” Hanma asked without any care, a little playfulness in his voice. Koko clicked his tongue and paused before answering, “The Haitanis aren’t here yet, are you even on your way?” He sounded on edge and stressed, for a second I wondered if it would be that bad to arrive after Mikey. I quickly realized that of course it would, because arriving late would show the greatest level of disrespect. I did not want that at all, but I feared Hanma had little to no fear of portraying that.

Humming a second, Hanma drawled, “Yeah, don’t get your panties in a twist, we’re there in five.” Then he hung up. There was no need for niceties of bidding him farewell considering we’d see each other soon enough. I did not comment on the fact that Hanma had not saved Koko’s phone number nor on his lack of manners on the phone, the latter which I had lived through many times.

After those five minutes, we arrived in front of an expensive hotel. People dressed in fancy clothes were coming and going; there was a lot more activity than I believed was normal for this hour which made me believe there was some sort of event going on. If that was the case, it must have been deliberately chosen for the meeting to happen here, all so they would not get caught. “There’s a lot of people around.” I commented as Hanma stopped right in front of the entrance. He signaled for someone to come in and handed them the car keys before getting out and telling me to get out too. 

“That’s the point.” He gave me a once over and grinned proudly, “That’s also why you’re dressed like that. To blend in with the fat cats.” But his manners in the outside world did not fit the ones of high society, not when he wrapped his arm around my shoulder like he had earlier today. He guided me through the crowd, not apologizing to the people he’d bump into—I’d do it for him. It’s not that he couldn’t, it was more that this was not a mission given to him by Mikey, this was him being a little shit for fun, so he did not have to be careful like I knew he could be.

Once inside, I let out a shiver and could not be more grateful for the heat of the building. We then stayed on the ground floor and walked to one of the meeting rooms, the stress inside my body only growing by the second and perhaps Hanma sensed it when I tensed upon us stopping in front of a door. “If you’re gonna piss yourself, it’s at the end of the hall, doll.” He mocked.

“I’m not—I’m not gonna piss myself, I’m just preparing mentally. They’re all very exhausting and I need to be ready, alright?” I whispered, moving his arm from my shoulders. As much as I craved his touch for comfort and perhaps also to show I belonged to him, I felt like I needed to enter this room as my own person. Being by his side was enough for them to tie me to him, to qualify me as ‘Hanma’s girl’ which I did not mind, but in the long run… I needed that authenticity.

He did not share the thought and wrapped his arm around my waist before opening the door loudly. The room was large enough to fit a long, rectangular table with 5 chairs on each side, while one chair was placed at the furthest end of the table: a total of 11 chairs around it. I assumed the lonely chair at the head of the table was Mikey’s. On the left of that empty seat, on one side of the table were Takeomi, Koko, Kakucho and Mochi, seated in that respective order. Mochi had an empty seat to his left on which he was resting his feet and scrolling through his phone while the three others were chatting together. That is until they saw us enter and looked at us with annoyance—at least for Koko.

I was certain Sanzu would sit to Mikey’s right, perhaps Hanma understood that too since he left a few seats unoccupied, having me sit facing the empty seat at the end of the table while he sat in front of Mochi.

That choice of his meant the brothers would be sitting next to him. I sat straight in my seat, serious, composed, aware of everything I was doing as I leaned towards him, “Are you sure about sitting here?” I whispered in the already silent room. “You’d rather sit next to them? Cause there’s no way that’s happening if that’s what you want, doll.” He laughed. A dry laugh. I understood that the suggestion I had made about Ran was still stuck in his head. Since I did not know how to fix it, I went along. A bit sad that he had mentioned it again, I sat back properly and looked around.

Hanma was the one to lean in this time, his lips brushing against the earring he had given me as he spoke, “D’ya know how good you look right now behind that table? All bossy and shit.”

I looked at him with a face now ten times warmer than it was seconds ago and frowned without ever saying anything. He continued by ghosting his lips over mine, “You’d look better on it, that pretty dress ripped off…”

“Hey!” Koko called out, Hanma threw him a lazy side glare before slowly turning his head towards him. “I don’t wanna see you two fuck here, get out or get yourself together.” Koko was interrupted by Hanma placing his elbow on the table and resting his chin in the palm of his hand, “Jealous you can’t get your blondie here? You fucking wish you could grope him with us around, huh?” Hanma then turned to look at me before kissing me salaciously in front of everyone, purposely shoving his tongue in my mouth so they could see. I felt my entire body heat up in embarrassment and hesitated to bring him closer—I did not get to do so, instead I felt him move away.

Only he wasn’t the one to break the kiss.

I barely had time to see that his hair had been gripped with force before his face was slammed into the table with the same amount of strength.

Just as fast, Hanma grabbed Rindou’s hand from his hair and pulled him towards him as he stood up, making the younger brother trip but Hanma didn’t let him fall. He held onto Rindou’s wrist still gripping his own hair, then choked the man’s throat as he pushed him against the wall—both laughed. Hanma did so dryly, eyes filled with anger; Rindou did so with pure thrill in his eyes.

I heard Ran laugh too and opted to move my seat out of the way when Rindou pulled at Hanma’s hair again before trying to knee him in the stomach only to be stopped. I was going to stand from my seat when Ran pushed me back down, tutting me, “Calm down tiger, just enjoy the show,” He smiled, then stopped me from digging my nails into the armrest, “The bastard can take a beating, get your claws back in.”

I pushed my chair further from him, he stepped closer. No one was doing anything as Rindou and Hanma threw punches at each other, so I pushed my chair even further, enough to stand up and move behind it to have something between Ran and I. I could feel the holster heavy on my thigh as I parted the dress and let my hand graze the gun, “How mature of you two to start a fight at a meeting. Were you that bored?” I scoffed. My lower part was hidden behind the seat so I slowly pulled out the gun and heard Kakucho laugh but did not dare give him a glare.

Ran grinned wickedly and turned the chair; as he did so, I stepped closer to him and rapidly went for his head, trying to hit him with the butt of the gun. He was faster and grabbed my wrist tight, making me wince, “You always go for the head,” He half-whispered with a shake of his head, leaning in, “You’re becoming predictable, bit boring isn’t it?” He mocked. 

Hearing him tell me I was boring scared me more than I let on. As if he had lit a fire inside my chest, I gripped his hair with my free hand—which he gripped in return to alleviate the pain—then brought the tip of my heel to his crotch. He let go of me for a second and I pulled away then watched him as he tried to grab me back. I hit the butt of the gun on the back of his head when he balled over in pain. Another moan of pain from the man when his hand moved to the back of his head while he straightened his back.

He was tall, and I hardly believed I had much strength to put him down—my mind started thinking of the most stupid things to get him down, climbing on the chair to knee him in the face? Because I couldn’t have him ball over again, he was not going to do that. If I tried to kick him, he’d grab my foot and pull me down.

I put the gun away and looked at the seat between us, then at him.

He smiled in disbelief, “Now, you wouldn’t dare.” He held onto the back of the chair, I placed both my hands on the armrest and got it out of his grasp before lifting it off the ground and just as I was about to throw it, I heard Sanzu’s voice, “Mochi, your damn feet off the chair–” he paused and looked at us, moving Mikey behind him as he stomped our way.

He gripped me by the hair and forced me to let go; kicking me in the back of the knees to make me fall on the floor. He did the same to Rindou to have him let go of Hanma—when he tried to punch Hanma, the man grabbed his hand and smiled, a bloody smile that I somehow found attractive, “Try and touch me, Mad Dog, see who wins between you and I.” He then spat blood towards the ground, onto Rindou’s pants.

The younger brother’s face turned sour as he stood up to join his brother that still stood rather close to me.

“All of you to your fucking seats!” The pink haired man barked, shoving all of us out of his way and kicking the chair towards me.

With heavy feet, we all joined our seats. Hanma had his face full of small cuts, similar to Rindou’s. I could see he wasn’t really here and watched as he brought a cigarette to his lips, lighting it expressionless, staring straight ahead. I was more than awkward now that the adrenaline was dissipating, I felt Mikey walk behind us and let his hand trail on the back of my seat before joining his own spot at the end of the table. I’d like to think that when our eyes met he smiled at me, but his face remained the same, blank—perhaps I just felt the smile or saw it in his eyes? Or perhaps I was hoping too much, I was seeking some reassurance that I hadn’t fucked up. A reassurance I couldn’t get from Hanma in the state he was in.

Nudging his knee with mine, I whispered as close as I could, “Are you alright?” 

He puffed out some smoke, quickly getting told off by Koko on the opposite side of the table but Hanma didn’t stop, he just shrugged and took another drag. He leaned back on his chair, one arm on the back of my chair, but he still wasn’t looking at me.

I nudged him again, “Did I fuck up?” I didn’t want to have fucked it up, even less because of a Haitani. I couldn’t slip up, shit I was panicking now. I could almost feel my heart trying to beat out of my chest, or was it my lungs? “Are you paying attention?” I heard a sudden voice to my right; quickly turning my head, I saw that Rindou had moved his chair next to mine. Before I could start to question how he moved his seat that was next to Hanma all the way here, I threw him a side glare and kept my mouth shut. I was trying to focus and turned a bit on my chair to hide him from my view, but he still leaned over the table and wrote a little note that he slid in my direction.

“Pst, hand it to Ran.” He whispered to Hanma, his arm fully extended as two fingers pressed on the paper to keep it closed. Hanma looked down at Rindou’s hand before crushing the cigarette on the back of it, pushing his arm out of the way before grabbing the paper. Ran snatched it from his hands then laughed, making everyone in the room shut up.

Sanzu slammed his hand on the table, “Is this fucking kindergarden? Can’t be that hard to keep your mouths shut!”

Ran looked at him and lazily said, “We just had an important question, right Rin?”

Rindou nodded, “Oh yeah, very important–” He was interrupted by Takeomi making a grand hand gesture as he spoke, “What are you doing there? Move your sorry ass back to your brother! Leave the bitch alone.” 

While the gesture was sort of sweet, it made me slightly bitter upon being called a bitch once more. It did not really change anything to Rindou who grinned widely as he took my chin between his index and thumb, “We were wondering what’s the price.” He drawled, making his brother laugh again. I slapped his hand away from my chin and leaned over to him, making him lean back when I smiled wickedly, his own smile faltering a second. His tie in my hand, I pulled him close and as I spoke, I groped his crotch, “You should remember the amount of bills the old men would give you when your mom would have her turn, no?” I let go of him and patted the tie straight, “Was it three big ones? Two? Maybe coins? Nothing?” I quirked a brow, “Maybe she was free? That’s not very–” 

I felt intense pain at my scalp but it wasn’t Rindou, Ran had stood up and was now pulling my head back to talk down at me—I stood up while he did so and never broke eye contact, “It’s a simple question, how much does the bastard pay to fuck you? Must be a pretty sum if you’re still around, huh?” Just as he was done, I spat in his face then stomped on his foot before kneeing him in the stomach. I was aware he hadn’t even tried to fight me off but it felt good to hit him, so I didn’t care. “How pitiful is it for a man of your stature to be jealous–” His hand was suddenly on my throat, a breathless gasp escaped my lips as I threw Hanma a glance but he did not seem to move from his spot. He was, however, watching intently, unmoving. I could almost see a proud smile on his face, but I was dreaming, I knew it.

A smile made its way to my lips when I looked back at Ran before biting his forearm hard. He let go right away and was about to punch me when someone stopped him—Mikey had stood up and interrupted us. With his voice void of anything, he spoke, “Ran, Rindou, back to your seats.”

Ran scoffed, “She went crazy at me, I just asked her–”

Sanzu pulled him back by the collar and threw him to his chair, almost making him tumble back, “Didn’t fucking ask. What Mikey says, goes. If I hear one more damn sound from any of you,” He mimicked pulling his gun out and pulling the trigger, “Got it?”

The brothers just slumped back in their seats while I had Mikey right in front of me, “You’re turning into him. Careful.” He simply said before pointing at my chair with one arm extended; he waited until I was seated to get back to his own seat then resumed what he was saying prior.

Seeing how little Hanma had paid attention to me, I placed my elbow on the armrest and rested my chin on my knuckles while listening to the presentation. I never really thought I would assist to such a thing, but it made it a lot more serious. That is if we ignored the brothers exchanging notes next to Hanma, passing papers while looking the most deadly they could—Ran caught me staring and sent me a chilly grin, making me turn my head back to anyone but him. Koko was the one I crossed gazes with. We exchanged polite smiles then brought our attention back to the presentation once more. “Some low shit bastard’s trying to get on our territory.” Sanzu showed a slide of a guy’s police record then started listing all they knew about him, his still weak but growing gang along with the fact that he had some famous politician on his side.

“That motherfucker disrespected us the moment he thought he’d thrive on our territory.” Sanzu spat, immediately stopping himself from talking more when Mikey raised his hand for him to stay silent, “Hunt them all down and kill them. We’ve wasted enough time on dealing with them the proper way.” He sighed and continued, “If they call us monsters for suggesting they join us, saying they won’t be caged, they’ll find peace dying in the name of their freedom.”

Hearing him speak those words made my chest heavy. I highly doubted they had suggested much if anything, they had given them two choices: join us or die. I admired that new gang for going against Bonten, but it was suicidal. I wondered if they knew who they were up against. They all chuckled at Mikey’s words, clearly unbothered by the task they had been assigned. My face was blank, not from fear but because I couldn’t let it show I was unsure if I was part of the people requested for ‘the hunt’. “They’re better off dead than traitors. One’s less painful.” Kakucho commented, making some chuckle. Were they that hard on traitors? What would one have to do to be considered as such and why did he have such a strong aversion to people joining Bonten?

Because if they joined against their will, sooner or later they’d leave, maybe trying to get some people with them, surely taking information and now inside knowledge of the organization.

Mikey was right.

They should be killed, Bonten did not need them. We were big enough as it was.

“Pay attention, doll. It’s gonna be your time to shine.” Hanma said, his head slightly tilted my way. I was surprised to hear him but couldn’t help my heart from beating in excitement from having his attention once more. Play it cool, play it nice, he ignored you up until now, I told myself. “I’m more than focused, it comes with you going mute and not giving me even a glance.” That was a lot more aggressive than I intended. That was a fuck up. I knew it the moment I heard him chuckle behind his hand as he mirrored my position, “Are we throwing a tantrum?” He whispered behind his hand once more, discrete for once.

I scoffed, immediately getting rid of any emotion on my face when I realized I was smiling, “Some might call it being upset for the little you intervened when the brothers came for me—but call it a tantrum.”

Hanma’s hand moved to rest on my thigh as he lifted the hem to expose it, his face never leaving the projection behind Mikey, “You’re a big girl, aren’t ya? Handled them well, if I had intervened I wouldn’t have had the honor to see you bite his hand off.” I could see from the angle he was in, the smirk that was drawing itself on his lips. Faking sitting back in my seat, I scooted closer to the side and helped his hand higher on my thigh. His fingers dug inside my skin and I saw him move a bit in his spot. In my head I wanted to believe he was getting too uncomfortable in his pants, but that train of thought was interrupted when Sanzu pointed at me.

“You—take the last bastard down,” He pointed at the presentation and I saw the face of one of the chairmen from Silas&Sons—I didn’t say anything about the fact that there were others that we had yet to convince because I feared they had done it themselves. Perhaps bribed some, killed others… And he was the last one standing in their way. ”Motherfucker’s too good for money, so put one little bullet right there,” He pressed the center of his forehead, grinning broadly and added, “Once that’s done we’ll have one less thing to worry about, so don’t fuck up rookie.” 

He turned around to change the slide and I leaned over the table to place my elbow on it and look casual, even if Hanma was slowly moving his hand to my panties, “Is there a deadline?”

Mikey was the one to say, “The faster it’s done, the better.” I nodded and leaned back on my chair.

Koko made a subtle hand gesture for me to look at my phone and I did, noticing a text from him that said, “That means 3 days tops.” I held back a smile and thanked him, Sanzu scared me when addressing me once more, “It’s one job. You’re not here cause you’re an executive, you’re not here cause you’re loyal, you’re not here because you’re valuable,” He placed both his hands on the table with a thud, I heard Takeomi sigh along with Kakucho while Koko smiled, “You’re here cause Mikey wants to see if you can finish this, you started this entire shit by being a traitor to Silas&Sons–” Koko interrupted him with a soft laugh, “I don’t think you can betray corporate, but go on.”

Sanzu gave him a dirty look and continued, “You should be damn grateful to be sitting here tonight when everyone’s desperately tryna climb up to reach this very seat you’re sat on.” He pushed himself away from the table and spread his arms wide, “This is an honor!” I heard Rindou mumble ‘not again’ as he covered his face and leaned back, “You don’t realize how grand Bonten is! The feeling of belonging–”

Mikey placed a hand on Sanzu’s shoulder, “Continue the presentation.” I held back a laugh at first, I had managed to do that. Then, when everyone focused back on Sanzu’s long presentation, Hanma tilted his head my way and said, “Oh, I sure feel like I belong now that we all have matching tattoos.” I couldn’t hold back my laugh this time and snorted, my hand going to my face to stop it while the other gripped his arm. Some people turned to look at me and I uncovered my face to show I wasn’t doing anything. They looked away and I leaned back towards Hanma, “No, no, you don’t get it, this is so much bigger than we can understand!” He let out a barked out laugh, making Sanzu throw a glass his way which crashed into the wall behind him.

Startled, I flinched but did not say anything, we both understood the message and when he returned to talking, I leaned towards Hanma and commented, “We should make an offering to be forgiven after insulting the Bonten gods, what do you think we should give them?” 

We listened as tasks were given; it seemed they were assigned to each respective person, but I believed it was more assigned to their… ’departments’, the businesses each were handling—unless it was specifically required by Mikey for them to do it themselves, like he would when asking Hanma to take care of people. After a few seconds, Hanma answered, “If he keeps sucking Mikey’s dick like that, maybe mouthwash.”

I quickly pressed my face into his arm to mute my laugh. We kept making little jokes like that until the end of the presentation—once it was finally over, Hanma stood up and moved to Sanzu’s spot, pushing him aside. It happened so fast I didn’t have time to ask him what he was doing.

Mikey was still in his chair, now on his phone.

“I’ll lighten the mood.” Hanma said in a sing-song voice.

Kakucho and Takeomi both stood up, the latter tapping on Mochi’s shoulder to have him follow them. Hanma did not even look at them as he fumbled with the cables to find one to plug his phone in. When he was connected, he opened his gallery and showed the first picture. I had to cover my face in embarrassment.

“So, earlier this week we had such a fun time with my girl, here we are at the funeral of that bastard cop—here she is all shy but here,” He moved two pictures further, ignoring the one where I’m reaching for the phone to stop him, one of the pictures where he had my leg onto his for no reason while people were leaving, “She’s letting me grope her in public!” He met Ran’s gaze and smiled wickedly.

My entire body froze at the taunt and at the picture, but what put me in awe was how the remaining people weren’t leaving. Sanzu was back at his seat next to Rindou, glancing at Mikey almost in a hurry but he did not say anything unlike the brothers who leaned in with their elbows on the table, “You’re selling the product, so what’s the price?” Rindou asked, opening his wallet.

Hanma gave him a deadly look; they stared at one another, the long-haired brother grinning like a fool while The Reaper stayed deadpan. Ran, without any attention on his person, tried to move to the seat next to mine but I was fast to kick it out of the way, making him click his tongue as he sat back down. I heard Hanma chuckle and looked up, meeting his gaze, “That’s my girl,” he turned towards Ran and smirked, “You’re really desperate. Don’t you own whore houses? I’m sure those are free, go get some.” 

Rindou laughed, earning himself a hit from his brother.

Ran smiled sweetly and looked at Hanma mockingly, “You bring her dressed like one of my girls, I get a bit confused.”

“And I’m telling ya, next time you touch my girl you’re dead.” Hanma stated; while he put some humor into his tone, his eyes screamed for Ran to do it, to even try, just so he could finally beat him up. But instead, he moved to the next picture in his little presentation, making me stand up and run to his side to change to another one, “Alright, that’s enough–”

Hanma grinned, “Cause she’s fucking part of this, yeah?” He pulled at my neckline, fully showing the tattoo that was also on display on the projection. I held onto the fabric to cover my breasts while he pulled at the center to show the tattoo on my sternum, “But I think that maybe I should get my initials tattooed on her, like cattle—maybe that’ll get your inbred hands off her.”

This time Rindou wasn’t laughing, Sanzu was as he pushed his shoes off the table and let his feet hit the ground with a thud, a loud laugh escaping his lips. Was that all it took? Both brothers stood up, chuckling to each other—I placed one hand on Hanma’s arm and let out a nervous laugh. He had finally let go of my dress, “They draw the line at inbreeding jokes, maybe you should have kept your mouth shut.” I whispered slightly panicked, albeit smiling from ear to ear. While I tried to take a step back, Hanma took one towards them.

If a fight was to occur, I had no wish to be in the middle of it.

“Do you want to get them more mad?” I asked Hanma, who looked at me in a crazed haze, only waiting for one of them to come and punch him.

I took it as a yes and looked at the brothers a moment before joining Hanma’s side and dramatically saying, “Come on, the pent up frustration of celibacy makes idiots go wild like boars,” I looked at them and smiled, “And they’re clearly very frustrated,” I scoffed, “Can’t blame them, I think it has to do with the hair, it must send the wrong message to women…”

Sanzu laughed again, but only shortly.

Mikey stood up at the same time the Haitanis started to rush towards us—I heard the click of Ran’s baton and couldn’t help but feel excitement course through my entire body as I threaded my fingers with Hanma’s and pulled him back a bit. “Meeting’s over. Everyone go home.”

Ran laughed dryly but never looked away, so Hanma grinned, “Ya heard the boss.” then unplugged his phone and shoved it in his pocket. Sanzu pushed past the brothers, making way for Mikey while I walked to the door from the other side of the table—there was no way I was passing by the Haitanis again.

On our way out, I think I heard Rindou talk, faintly, “She’s actually kinda funny, can’t believe she’d go for The Crazy Reaper.” He chuckled, then we were out of hearing. I almost bumped into Mikey when he stopped in the middle of the corridor; Sanzu had kept on walking, probably at the white-haired man’s demand, “Hanma, wait outside.” He ordered.

I liked to believe that Hanma hesitated, but all he did was grin, “Roger, boss.”

Once more alone with Mikey, I could feel my high coming down. I could feel my feet touch the ground, I was, for lack of words, grounded. It was confusing. “I’m sorry for–” I started. Mikey interrupted me, asking, “How are you handling everything?”

It took me by surprise, making me let out a nervous laugh, “It’s—huh, it’s alright. I deal better with Hanma around, I think.” 

“You shouldn’t rely on him. You should never rely on anyone, sooner or later they’ll die.” Mikey said, empty. His words, while simple and straight to the point, hit me like a brick. I wanted to press a hand to my chest to see if he hadn’t really hit me from how heavy it had made me feel, but instead I clenched my hand into a fist, “Should I take you for example?” I asked, angered by his nonchalance. 

He seemed taken aback for a second, his eyes slightly wider than usual before the ghost of a smile crossed his features only to disappear just as fast, “Maybe. I think Sanzu would be better fit as an example, seeing where you’re going.” Like rapid fire, I answered, “What does that mean?”

He scoffed, “This obsession you both have. It’ll be your end, it’ll make you go against my orders.” There was a short pause, he stepped close to me and patted my cheek like a brother would before moving his hand higher and pressing his thumb to the center of my forehead, “There is only one way out after that.” His eyes locked back on mine as he gently let go of my head and stepped back. I wanted to talk back, to defend my loyalty, to tell him there was no reason for me to go against his orders if they made sense but I was frightened. I did not trust myself to speak, to utter anything, instead I stood there. Silent.

“Good night.” He simply said before making his way out.

I did not waste time to follow him out, not wanting to get caught by the Haitanis. My shaky legs had other plans, making me stumble a few times until I got outside to Hanma who was leaning against the wall by the door, cigarette in hand. “Had fun?”

“Why does he always have to be so intense?” I asked, now standing in front of him as he turned his head and puffed the smoke to the side, “He’s depressed, I guess.” Hanma shrugged. He dropped the cigarette on the ground and crushed it under his foot before nodding for me to come with him. I glanced at his hand, perhaps for comfort, hoping to hold it but it was too much to ask of him. Maybe he saw my distress, maybe he was also in need of some touch, but he wrapped an arm around my waist and forced me to walk at his pace, “Ya did good with the Fucktanis. Loved the energy, babe. Wouldn’t have got mad if you had shot his ass though, that’d have made him shut his trap.”

I scoffed and entered the car with him, shivering at the cold of the night that slowly seeped in. With the adrenaline of the fight that almost happened followed by Mikey’s words, I was in some sort of trance that had now dissipated. “Do you have anything to treat wounds in your car?” I asked Hanma, opening the compartment in front of me, making a happy sound when I saw a white aid box and took it. Hanma grabbed it from my hands and gave me a confused look. “What do you need?” He roughly grabbed my jaw, turning my head around to check my face then gave me a once over, “You’re not injured, are you dumb?” He clicked his tongue and let go, dropping the box on my thighs before starting the car.

Mimicking his action, I grabbed his jaw and pulled his face towards mine, “You are.” I opened the box and with one hand opened the small alcohol bottle and poured some on some gauze that was in the box. I brought it to his face and disinfected his small cuts roughly, knowing he’d pull back like a dog. When he was about to do just that, I gritted through my teeth, “Please, Shuji. Let me hold you still.” 

A small smile made its way to his beautiful face, slowly turning sly as his hand covered mine that was holding him, “Getting mixed signals with the begging and the being rough, gotta pick one side babe. Which will it be tonight?” He cooed mockingly and yet I could almost feel excitement dripping from his every pore as his other free hand moved to my waist, once more trying to raise the hem of the dress. With a tight smile, I pressed on a deeper cut and wiped it clean, finally finishing the disinfecting. It didn’t need much more but that, so I dropped everything back in the box and met Hanma’s gaze once more, “Sleep. It’ll be sleep tonight.”

He chuckled and leaned over, his lips brushing against mine. Before he could speak, I asked, “When am I going to be sent home?” It was fast spoken, rushed, but the question had been in my mind for so long since I feared getting used to his place only to be sent away soon. His eyes widened in confusion, quickly losing any emotion as he scoffed dryly. “We’re playing the victim now? Tell me,” Slowly, he smiled—a beautiful, knowing smile, “Do you want to go home?”

I looked down at his lips, then back at his eyes, then his lips again, “I have everything at my place… I pay rent, it was hard to find that place and my friends and family–”

“Frankly I don’t care, I asked you a question. And I don’t like repeating myself.” He stated, deadpan now.

Did I want to go home? Could I go home? I could, he would give me permission, but would I be able to stay away from him? I liked being around him, his place was not half-bad and he was there. He was not at my place, he would never come to my house. And what if I needed him during the night, what if my nightmares returned and I needed him to help me forget? Calling him in the middle of the night would definitely have me stay alone, he wouldn’t pick up…

You’re home, I wanted to tell him.

“I want to stay with you.” Was what I ended up saying. 

It was a lot less frightening than admitting how much he meant to me after so little time. Because I was fucking scared—but he didn’t need me to be scared. I was fine with that. I had to be fine with that.

Hanma smiled broadly and pressed his lips against mine, kissing me deeply as he hummed against my lips, “Yeah? That’s my girl.” He then pulled back and clasped a hand on the steering wheel before rapidly starting the car, “Good thing you chose me, cause your house has been ransacked by the cops.” He explained off-handedly.

I had looked back at the road once he had pulled away but his little announcement made me turn to look at him at the speed of light, “I’m sorry?”

“I’m guessing the little mole bitch knew a bit more than you thought she did since she sent them over when you weren't home.” He shrugged, a smirk on his lips when he saw from the corner of his eye how in awe I was.

It doesn’t make sense, I never told her I stayed with him. There is no way she would know, even Shiho doesn’t know—or does she? Have I gotten drunk at some point after moving in with him and told them? I don’t think so, I was careful. “What does it mean?” On a bigger scale. Them looking into me to get to him, to Bonten. What did it really mean?

“Eh, means shit. You have your gun with you, so they got nothing.”

I started scratching my brain for anything bad I could have left behind, anything, then looked up at him again, “Who brought my clothes? What if they left something—I never even told Rai my address!” I was starting to get annoyed thinking about it. Running a hand over my face, I let out a frustrated laugh, “She looked through my file, I don’t know who the fuck she asked but–” I let out a another frustrated sound, not believing she could do that. Seeing how desperate she had been to catch Hanma though, or anything close to Bonten, it made sense she would go that far. “She truly is a mole, she really—ah!” I laughed angrily, not finding the words.

“I’m telling ya, there won’t be a next time for her. If she’s ever looking into our shit again, she’s dead.” He said nonchalantly, catching me off guard from how serious the situation seemed to be. Mikey hadn’t mentioned anything about it, but I was not there for all of their interactions and I feared he had given the order to take her out. And if not her, anyone interfering with Bonten—so, she fell under that definition.

Sighing, I did not reply and waited for us to arrive back to the building, exhausted. It had been a long day, and adding a conversation about Rai would not make it any better. I wanted to sleep, to forget about her. I just wanted to hope she would stop snooping around for her own sake.

But that very thought I had seemed to have done the exact opposite of what I wanted.

I felt it deep in my guts that something was off, but I blamed it on all the stress of the night. Maybe it taught me I should trust my instinct sometimes since when we entered the building, Hanma laughed. He was the first one to realize what was going on—I looked at him confused and he covered his mouth as he pointed at the stairs where, once I faced them, I could see Rai standing up in panic. She struggled with her bag across her chest and looked at the both of us with wide eyes.

So this was the face of someone who had just signed her death sentence.

[Chapter 24]

[bertievi]

@governmentofficial continued from X 

It had likely been assumed at first that the boy was simply being shy. That seemed likely, no? A child in an unfamiliar family was presumably far less likely to ask for help than one that was comfortable with their surroundings in the best of situations, and where Mycroft had found himself could hardly be considered normal or familiar in any sense at all. Even if the status of the family was ignored (which it really couldn't be), the way they interacted with each other was just so different to what he was used to.

As time went on, though, his hesitancy to speak up did not seem to go away. Mycroft didn't want to be a bother, and no amount of reassuring him that he would never be considered such a thing for needing a little help changed that.

The fact that he was in pain was not being hidden particularly well. Scars did not just go away and, unfortunately for Mycroft, the fire at the Holmes manor had left more than a fair share of them across his skin. Some days were better than others and, on the bad days, they could make moving in general rather painful - something that was shown rather clearly in the way he kept wincing whenever he did something that required something more than sitting still and reading a book.

At his father's request, said book had been placed aside so they could speak for a moment. That did not bring Mycroft any confidence - it meant that something serious was about to be said, most likely a telling off. He was right too, because (in his eyes) he didn't see how the man's words could be anything other than a reprimand.

"Asking for help only shows that you are weak and irritating," Mycroft quietly responded, fully believing his words and therefore seeing no reason to be secretive about it. His father would understand, wouldn't he? He seemed to be a smart man; he surely knew about the reality of the situation. Despite his confidence, though, the boy still could not meet the other's eyes - his gaze fixed on his feet, which swung back and forth and hit the legs of his chair with his heels.

Albert was sometimes baffled at some of the things that Mycroft said. He had realised only a few weeks into adopting the young boy that the Holmes had certainly raised him differently and that said a lot given Albert’s own childhood. He shook his head at the response and was sure to place himself in another chair so that he was not looming over him like some terrible shadow. 

“No, not at all Mycroft.” He corrected gently, concern filling his expressions. “Everyone needs -help, like your -grandpapa when he -broke his -pelvis? He was in -bed for weeks and needed -help with all manner of things.” Everything. The King was immobile, in pain and considerably grumpy for a long while. “Would you -have said he was -weak -because of that?” 

It have become apparent that Mycroft was not keen on getting help from the family for his burns, they had noticed his suffering and worried for his unwillingness to ask for help. It seemed to have come to a head that day with Albert not being able to bare seeing his son in such discomfort when he believed it was preventable. 

“What -makes you think it would be a -weakness -to need -help?” A foolish question given what he had rapidly learned of the Holmes family from what Mycroft mentioned in passing and what limited subtext he had managed to get from Rudy. However if he had any chance of countering such thoughts he figured he had best understand their origin. 

[rickyandgina]

Ricky and Gina in Season 2

   Okay, watching the shorts that are being released right now- esspecially the third one- I thought it was very interesting to see the subtext that was placed there for Rina. It made me think more about season two and their place in the story- and I think it's going to be a big one. The shorts are a set up to season two and are meant to give us a hint to what's to come, and in all of this they made a place for Rina and their unfinished tension from the season finale and basically the whole season since episode 5. For those who doubted their chemistry and arc in the first season as being romantic rather than friendly, I think this helped clear it up. THEY ARE SETTING UP A ROMATINC ARC FOR RICKY AND GINA. Come back to this post once the season airs and see if my inclination is right- I have a feeling it will be- the writing is on the wall. Now how they go about their budding feelings is yet to be seen. It is clear- at least to me- that Ricky and Nini are here to stay. They won't throw their relationship out the window after having a whole season based on them getting back together. I don't even think Ricky and Gina will get together this season- nor do I want them to. The fact that Ricky and Nini are together right now is so important for Ricky and Gina- you can't have Rina without Rini. To be able to move on wholly from each other Nini and Ricky have to explore their relationship more and see if they can work together. Right now- they just don't. Nini has been given this once in a lifetime opportunity, but it means leaving Ricky and we have seen how distance and separation has affected Ricky. I'm not saying that they won't keep Ricky and Nini together and let them work through their struggles, of course it's a route that they can take, it's just not the interesting one. Okay, so instead of allowing them to work through their problems healthily- what is the other option. Well of course, it's Gina. I feel many people will be perplexed by this and their progression in the next season- but God it was so obvious. In season one we get to see Gina and how she handles Ricky in a way that not even Nini can Reach. He's able to open up to her about things while barely even knowing her, there is a level of familiarity between the two that allows their friendship to flourish rapidly and become a source of comfort for one another. In passing he tells her about his familial problems, and she is able to do the same. Is she the person he always wants to run to, no, but she is the one that's always there. I think this made Ricky confused and this is what's present in his reaction to her return. He's met another person other than Nini that is able to comfort him and allow his problems in without a fear of the other not understanding. Once Gina left in episode 8 he was able to  return back to Nini and focus on their relationship without someone else getting in the way and confusing the situation. As you can see the point where Ricky and Nini's reunion is    finally progressed is once Gina is no longer there. In these two episodes it's like all the character progression that happens with Ricky is lost and he starts to get sucked back into his relationship and the lines of reality start to get blurred. Reality, is that these two will have to work hard to stay together and neither really see that yet. Getting back on track with Rina- we see again her pushing Ricky to do things that make him grow as a person. Case number one, the skate park, here we can see him doubt his place in the group- onset by Nini. Gina is there to bring him back and remind him of his talent and offer reassurance. And guess what? He comes back. Case number two the finale- once again Ricky is stepping back for the sake of Nini and allowing himself to revert back into his insecurities. And goodness does Gina know this boy. She understands that if she can get him into the gym and actually see what he is missing that he will go back and do what he was supposed to. The result is he gets Nini and the gratification of accomplishing something that was not necessarily in his comfort zone. AND YOU KNOW WHY, BECAUSE OF FREAKING GINA. His whole progression in season one is because of her. You can't tell me that it isn't because it. clearly. is. Coming back to the shorts when Ashlyn brings her up and her staying we can once again see the confliction present in his face. Because Gina coming back makes things difficult. Without her there he doesn't have to think about before and the feelings he felt. All he has to focus on his Nini. But there is also a sense of relief that she is coming back, that he doesn't have to miss another person in his life. Gina was clearly a source of comfort for Ricky and now she is back. But is she going to be in season 2? I don't know. It is established that her and Ricky didn't talk after the play- showing that their level of closeness has been altered and now theynavigating a new relationship with one another. This I think is the key to transitioning them from friends to lovers. This will force them to have a converstation with one another about the change and why things are so different. Hint: BECAUSE ROMANTICAL FEELINGS. Will they make that transition this season, probably not, and that is okay. I am telling you right now that if they get together this season it will not last. Lets look to the end of season 3.  

[paragonrobits]

concept; Bruce Banner inexplicably ending up as the mentor, caretaker and general dependable adult for younger heroes; Kamala Khan being a stand-out example, but also for the likes of the Runaways, the Young Avengers... if there’s a young hero or a team of teenagers with powers who are in a very bad situation and desperately need a trustworthy mentor who will give them advice and protect them, Bruce Banner pops into their lives

he’s not doing it on purpose, though. it just sort of... keeps happening. it seems part of the same bizarre luck he suffers under that constantly has him drift into complex shennaigans and plots regardless of how deeply he tries to keep himself buried

it’s similar to the way that Wolverine tends to be a father figure to literally every person in need of one, though with the tweak of Bruce being a very calm, patient and accepting figure by contrast. he never yells, raises his voice, or even responds with particular surprise no matter how weird things get. to those from broken homes, this makes him very comforting to deal with, and it can also be surprising because he’s extremely intense otherwise.

from a story perspective, Bruce is also the ideal superhero to act as an adult figure without raising the question of ‘why not tell the authorities?’; he has a vested interest in avoiding authorities most of the time (they want to arrest him for things he didn’t do, or he’s persecuted for the same reasons mutants might be, or he is so paranoid and mistrustful of anyone with a badge he refuses to get them involved on principle alone), which prevents that from being something he might do, which serves the adventure just as well.

There is, of course, the point of Bruce Banner himself coming from a broken home. The obvious subtext here is that Bruce tries to position himself to act as an ideal parent or father figure because he so desperately wished he’d had one as a young child, but he never had anyone. from young childhood to maturity, he was completely alone and isolated, and wanted nothing more than something to save him, or to be on his side. so he acts like the parental figure he needed at that age, when the world just ignored him and left him to suffer alone.

This, finally, positions Hulk in a very interesting way. While it really depends on which Hulk the system has ‘out’ most of the time (And really, you can use this situation as a justification for Bruce’s rules rapidly changing them to make him better able to help others, rather than allowing him to vent feelings or aspects of himself he normally represses, as is normally the case), you can make a case for all the major Hulks to have big-time dad vibes. Even if you make a sort of composite of them (big and strong monster who’s a little taciturn, generally comes out at night, living embodiment of both aspects Bruce fears in himself and a form of desperate wish fulfillment), the point still stands.

[lumau]

Can you do

In a Vehicle+Life or Death+ Kairene

Please? 🥺

Dear Anon, thanks for that request! Sounds like a fun combination? You’re right (although Irene vehemently disagrees and will curse anyone involved in this for the rest of her life)

And she was falling.

Irene had nightmares and disturbing visions of falls from a great height. Her own experience taught her that oftentimes reality did not live up to fantasy. Sadly, this was not one of those cases. Reality was so much worse than her dreams.

Irene’s stomach turned and her breath caught in her throat as her body slowly tumbled in mid-air. Strong winds were rushing upwards past her, tugging at her hair and clothing. She could not move, stretch her limbs or thrash around in panic. She was simply frozen in shock. Not that it would have changed anything anyway. Nothing could break or slow her fall enough to save her now. There was nothing she might try to hold on to, nothing between her and the mountain site below that rapidly, very rapidly drew nearer.

It was with sudden, irrational clarity that Irene realised that Kai had betrayed her. She was surprised that in the face of immediate death she still had capacity for furious anger. The one person she had trusted above anyone else had betrayed her. And wasn’t this an awful realisation to die with!

Just seconds ago she had still been in his arms, he had still reassured her. Told her that she should trust him, that he had it under control, just a few more moments and it would all be good. He had not been wrong. It would all be over for her very soon indeed.

If she had the choice, would she have preferred to die on the small aircraft whose crew was cybernetically controlled by a vengeful scientist, which also happened to be on fire?

“Irene, over here!” Kai had called out to her above the screeching of metal and the roaring of the engines. He was standing by the airlock that had been broken open in the fight, his hair and coat flapping in the wind that came gushing in.

Irene had simply been panicking for the last few minutes, and while she was usually pretty experienced in pulling herself together when facing mortal danger, her fear of heights seemed to make it impossible for her to focus.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she shouted at Kai, as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, while landing a high kick in the stomach of one of the zombie-like pilots who had appeared behind her. It sent the figure flying across a pile of tumbled luggage, where he landed in an unnaturally twitching heap.

“I’m a dragon, remember?” Kai looked way too calm, way too confident. Irene wanted to shake him and make him understand that they were about to die and there was no way out.

“But you can’t take your natural form here, the space is too small!” she motioned at what was left of the cabin. The subtext of And if you jump out and change into a dragon mid-fall, it will leave me on a burning airplane that is about to crash, and you won’t do that. went without saying.

Kai nodded and looked around assessingly. When he turned to her, his face was serious and tense.

“Irene, if I tell you we will be fine, do you believe me?”

“Hell, no!” Irene gave a hysterical laugh. What was he thinking? He could not use his power, and the language would not save them anymore either. And the stunned, remote controlled pilot was scrambling back to his feet. For once, there was no way out.

“Trust me, please. This is dire, but it will all be over in a moment.”

Before Irene could argue, Kai had got a tight grip on her and pulled her into a desperate kiss. Irene felt herself swaying at the sudden gesture, the comfort an incredibly stark contrast to their overall situation. For a short moment she almost thought she could believe Kai when he said it would be fine. This she did not want to give up on. It could not end here and now.

Kai’s urgent embrace loosened slightly, their lips still locked together. Against all odds, Irene felt herself relax a little. And it took her a few seconds to realise that with the smallest, determined motion Kai gave her a push, and her feet met nothing but open air as she stumbled backwards.

Irene could make out details now, patterns on the snow covered crests, dark trees in the valley, even a few cabins as small, black dots against the bright landscape. She wondered what would be left of her when she hit the age-old solid rocks, and whether she should rather hope for a patch of snow. Either would kill her, of course. One might look slightly less gruesome than the other.

There was a sudden change in the flow of air, as the currents around her changed direction. Irene could feel it, too. It was as if a second field of gravity was close by. With a bone shuddering thudd her body hit Kai’s back. The dragon had swept her up as if she was nothing more than a gently floating leaf. For a long moment Irene simply clung unto his scales, unable to process what just happened. Then she finally remembered to breathe, and she screamed.

[incorrecttamendegushiquotes]

Okay, another imagine since I'm obsessed with those raskals....imagine tattletale having a sudden rebellious phase. Not sure what exactly triggers it, but one day he just...,,gets a wholeass makeover and arrives late for class. Everyone turns around and is like who tf is this.

Cut to awkwardness and cringe because the whole act comes very unattural to him, it's not who he is and he is obviously forcing it so he is literally acting like a caricature of how older people view teenagers.

That last sentence had me thinking about that one Steve Buscemi meme (hold please, while I go superimpose tattletale’s face onto a screencap of that scene real quick lmao). 

[Image of Steve Buscemi dressed as a teenager in a backwards cap and carrying a skateboard saying “How do you do, fellow kids?”]

But honestly that would be a very convincing gag with the groundwork Tan Jiu’s done establishing him as a character who is irritated by Qi Fang’s accomplishments and popularity. 

Tattletale truly is such an enjoyable character and I truly would love to see more of him. He’s certainly my favorite side character (which is saying something considering my great love of Qin Xiong and his upperclassman). This is rapidly becoming a giant character analysis on Tattletale so I’m going to tack on a ‘keep reading tab’ and continue.

If you’re reading this then for whatever reason you’ve decided to indulge my ramblings and have henceforth won my affections forever, whatever that’s worth lmao. 

The trope involving the strait-laced, studious character who’s annoyed by a classmate who naturally has all of the assets they lack (e.g. social clout, charisma) in addition to academic excellence (read: the one thing they prided themselves in) is one that has been done to death but is also one I am a complete sucker for.

 I reckon most of us (with the obvious exception of, say, Beyoncé) have encountered someone who is better at us at something we are good at and know how devastating that can be, especially if you pin a large part of your identity around it. 

That sort of reality check is as true-to-life as it is entertaining to read about. Add that to the fact that, in DnD terms, Tattletale is the lawful good (student officer, moral exemplar) to Sun Jing and Qi Fang’s chaotic good (class clowns, troublemakers) and *shenanigans ensue*. 

No[t only that, Tattletale is a genuine, good-hearted person who always strives to do the right thing even if the results are often comical.

[Image of the last two panels of chapter 33 of Tamen de Gushi featuring Tattletale]

 Ironically his earnestness is probably a large part of why he doesn’t have the same appeal (at least on the surface level) to his foil in Qi Fang, who has thus far been portrayed as fairly aloof and disinterested in gaining good grades and popularity, but gets them anyway because he’s just that cool. This dynamic is also quite common in rom-coms as the competition, perceived or otherwise, often serves as an impetus for romantic tension build-up (Last Game, Special A, Kaguya-sama, Kaichou Wa Maid-sama, etc.) which I suspect is what fuels the fire for a lot of shipping of Tattletale and Qi Fang in the TDG fandom. Add on the fact that the two have great chemistry from what little we’ve seen of them interacting in TDG and, oh look --- the ship has left the harbor!

Whether you perceive Qi Fang and Tattletale’s relationship as romantic or not you’ve got to admit they have amazing back-and-forth dialogue and, like it or not, there is undeniably some queer subtext there too. I mean, come ON--- 

But I digress. The point I was trying to make before I quickly got sidetracked in my need to gush about Tattletale, is this: I love this imagine and think it would be very on-brand for Tattletale to try to pull off a more ‘cool’ persona and dress up in, for example, streetwear fashion in an attempt to rebel and separate himself from his reputation as the serious student officer:

But of course this wouldn’t work as his classmates are already acquainted with who he is and would see through him. While they’re undoubtedly fond of him and would probably be amused by his attempt to be rebellious it would of course not have the desired reaction because as you said it would be clear this would not be natural for him. Gosh I love imagining these scenarios, anon please feel free to submit them whenever you’d like because they are SO GREAT. 

☆ Mod Sasha

[daimonhalos]

Worthless

Read on Ao3!

Word Count: 1.033

Characters: Antfrost, Badboyhalo

Warning(s): Self-esteem issues, self deprecation, verbal abuse, angst

Summary: One way to secure power over one's puppets was to quietly build them down until they were devoid of sense of self. Alternatively: how Antfrost temporarily snaps out of his infection only to confirm his concerns about his friend to be true.

A/N: I swear I can find angst in the smallest nonchalant things that are said on lore bits. I made this short more to give myself a warmup as I haven’t written in a while. Don't have much else to say other than heed the warnings and do tell me if I missed any. Have a good read!

✾

❝ Who chooses what is right?

No one can begin to say

So will you turn around

Or will you fade away? ❞

« We're important now. »

It didn't exactly feel ... as concerning, in the moment. Bad had smiled, almost skipping along the ground as he had contemplated his new task after leaving Pandora's Vault.

Ant could only recall the casual "yeah" he had absentmindedly responded with, yet their small interaction seemed to plague his thoughts for the remainder of the night.

Quite like a lightning bolt thundering beneath clear skies, his mind snapped out of that torment, filled instead with “find him, find him, find him”, the concern only weighing him closer towards Bad, to his friend.

Find him, where could he find him?

Walking along the path, that was how he answered himself as he paced hastily over the wooden slabs, basically running, paying no mind to the vines that seldom stood in his way, the same ones his friend seemed to be checking on, eyes rather dull but features soft and pretty relaxed despite it being a suspiciously silent night.

He was breathing heavily when he finally reached him.

« Antfrost? » Bad raised his eyebrows, a question more to himself; his fingers were slightly folded over his palms, as though he had been about to pick up or take something.

« Did you mean it? » Ant had just barely picked up his usual breathing pace.

« What happened to your eyes, Ant? Do you still have your disg- »

« You said we're important. » he tried, gasping for air one last time, before he finally settled. « How much of it did you mean? »

Bad lifted a hand to pick on the skin of his lips, a habit he had picked for various occasions: frustration, boredom, when lost in thought or confused. « I don't understand what- I wouldn't lie to you, you know that. »

Ant bit the inside of his mouth, how could he put it simply?

« Do you … do you think you're not important? »

There was a small instance, the tiniest moment in which Bad's face fell and his arms went limp, like someone had seen right through a disguise he wasn't aware he had put on himself.

And then he scoffed, chuckling the thought away. He began walking down the path again, Ant following shortly after him. « What are you talking about? Of course not. » he stopped only to stare at a carefully planted rose on the ground, plucking it away without a second thought. He passed it between his fingers with ease, uncaring of the thorns prickling his skin. « We're prison guards, after all. »

The way he had added that, low tone, almost secretive, had made Ant stop in his tracks for way more seconds than he needed.

He chose silence, for the greatest part of their journey: Bad had been making his daily tour to check on the vines, taking a mental note about where they had been removed by foreign hands. Until he kept walking even though there were none left around them, heading towards a location that felt more like the destination of an aimless wandering.

They stopped by the sea, the sand giving out under their weight.

Could it reach us here?

« What does it tell you? » Bad turned to look at his friend, tilting his head at the question he was posed. « I know we don't talk about the plans it has for us. Aside from those, what does the voice tell you? »

He blinked rapidly. « In relation to what? »

Ant slid a foot on the sand grains. « For example … do you ever get insecure? About what we're doing, not being able to accomplish it. Does it ever … motivate or comfort you? »

« It says- » Bad realized he had started talking before he even thought about what he was going to say. Does it ever? « It … probably does. »

« Mh … » Ant considered his options, settling onto something vague to push him towards the right direction. « You don't have to filter your thoughts. I just want to make sure we're all on the same page, you know? »

« Sure. » the other narrowed his eyes, as different instances of his time in the Crimson Room came up in his mind, laid out for him to choose. « Well … usually it just kind of reminds me how much it is indispensable for my sake. How I need it. »

After all, you're useless without me.

« And how you're also needed for us to achieve our goals? »

You had nothing before. You still have absolutely nothing, you would be powerless without me.

« It's … yeah. » It's probably subtext. Right? « It tells me it has all I dream of. And that … it's helping me beyond measure. »

You value nothing without me. You understand why I'm so important to you? I make you someone. I make you real.

Ant adjusted his posture, eyes trailing along the border between the sea and the sky, right into the darkness.

« Because, really, I would be just pathetic on my own. »

His head snapped in less than a second, eyes wide and lips slightly parted, aghast at the confession laid out by a voice in its breaking point. « Why would you? »

« I mean, come on. I fought for a lost cause. I lost my best friend without even trying to save him. All I did before the vines started spreading and latching onto my skin was utterly hopeless. I've always been. » Bad wore a sad smile when he turned to finally face him. « That's what it tells me. It tells me how worthless I am by myself. And you know what? » his laughter didn't comfort Ant's distress an ounce. He took some steps towards the forest they came from, on his way for the wooden path again. « It's right. »

Ant was left staring at the empty spot his friend left, as though he had been enraptured by the particles his aura emanated: shock had paralyzed him.

« It's sad, but it's right. »

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

Being Human - Chapter 17

<= Chapter 16

Summary : Snatcher learns something that is definitely not a good thing. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826561/chapters/68569863

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New chapter ! I hope you'll like it ! (same for the drawing, which took me quite a while ahaha) Thank you for all your comment and your support, it really means a lot, thank you so much !!

I hope you’ll like this chapter !

Of course, the “Oh The Humanity” AU belongs to @doodledrawsthings​​ !

Happy reading !

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Chapter 17 - “… But what if I can’t…?”

Silence had settled in the room, only interrupted by the little beeping sounds of the vacuum cleaner trying to comfort the little girls. Both were looking at the ground, their face showing clear worry as they were still processing what they had just been told.

The Subcon fires were dying down… And this was going to lead to the worst case scenario if they didn’t find a solution soon enough.

Snatcher was leaning against the glass wall of the hub, silent. A clear frown was visible on his features, and it wasn’t hard to see the fear and nervousness in his eyes. But considering what he had been through with Vanessa… He knew it was justified. There weren’t many things that scared him, really, but the Ice Queen was one of the few. His arms were crossed, his eyes fixed on the kids as he was waiting for their reaction. An awful pain was starting to eat him from the inside, a clear sign of his anxious state. There were things that never changed and, unfortunately, his deep-rooted anxiety had survived his death and now his coming-back-from-the-dead experience. Great.

Next to him, Moonjumper was no better. The young man supposed that stealing his old memories probably played a huge part in the corpse’s nervous attitude which, he couldn’t help but think that it served him right. But this wasn’t the time for such thoughts. The other was floating without saying a word, fidgeting with his hands, rubbing them together, as if he were trying to forget his fear by focusing on the sensation and the action itself.

No need to say that the information brought by Moonjumper cast quite a chill in the room. Ha.

-“So…” started the bow-wearing kid, her voice shy and hesitant, looking up at the two spirits slowly: “How much time do we have left?”

This was the question that had been on Snatcher’s lips all along, though he hadn’t found the courage to ask it himself. If he had to be completely honest… He was scared of the answer. What if they only had a few days to figure out a solution? What if they only had a few hours?! The former shade was afraid of what he was going to hear. Yet… Yet he turned his head, staring at Moonjumper as he waited for the answer with shaking hands. He was trying his best to contain his emotions, to keep a straight face… But he was clever enough to know that it was certainly not working at all.

-“Perhaps… Perhaps two to three days if we’re lucky,” replied the corpse, darkly and gravely, a knowing look on his face. ‘If we’re lucky’, he had said.

Too bad that Luck had never held Snatcher close to its heart. In any case, Moonjumper’s answer made him shiver. They only had a few days… And it was only if they were lucky and if Vanessa didn’t find out about the current situation first.

This was utterly hopeless. Soon, Snatcher felt his breath getting heavier and quicker, the fear rapidly settling over him. It was like an unbearable weight had been put on his shoulders, one that forced so many terrible memories back to his mind. No, no, no, he didn’t want to think about them, this was not the time.

The corpse’s statement had a similar effect on the little girls, making them glance away. The bow-wearing kid unconsciously hugged herself while the older child was gritting her teeth, rubbing her fingers together, probably in the same attempts as Moonjumper, to focus on something else. Although, by the look on her face, this was not working. Snatcher couldn’t really blame them. After sending them to the Queen’s manor, he could only imagine that playing hide and seek with a very enraged Vanessa was not a good experience to remember.

Actually, he didn’t really have to imagine it. He had experienced that himself.

“No, stop,” he forced himself to focus on the situation at hand, clenching his fists. The feeling of his nails scratching his palms was enough to distract him, thankfully. He knew he’d regret it later, because of the pain he’d feel in the next few hours… At least, if he lived long enough until then. It would all depend on Vanessa’s next actions from now on.

Clearly, this was not reassuring in the least.

-“How is the research progressing?” asked Moonjumper, though it was clear that there was some subtext there: “how is the research going because we need results now or we’re all dead”. Something along those lines, from Snatcher’s guess.

The question cast another chill in the room, quite unsurprisingly, and it was enough for the corpse to figure out the answer. Silence replied to him and soon, his face crumpled as he had to realize what it meant.

Frankly, it was the same for the former ghost.

-“So… So it’s not ready yet?” wondered Moonjumper aloud, his voice trembling more and more.

-“It’s…” The hatted brat was the one to reply, but it was clear from her stance and from her intonation that, no, it wasn’t ready yet: “No, it’s not. Actually, we only had the time to gather the basic information, but… Not the time to really fiddle with the Time Piece itself.”

The younger child quickly added her own explanation:

-“Time Pieces are too dangerous to tinker with to do anything stupid… That’s why we wanted to run some tests first, but that was also because we thought we had more time…”

Moonjumper’s expression worsened even more as he heard the little girls’ confession. It was a clear sign of how bad the situation was. They didn’t have any solution, wouldn’t have one ready before a few days… And the fires would be out by then.

This was a disaster. Subcon was going to get frozen again, all the subconites and dwellers would suffer from Vanessa’s wrath once more, and the worst part was that he wouldn’t be able to save them this time.

It was over.

A broken laugh escaped him as the weight of how hopeless this situation was settled over his fragile shoulders. This was it, then. All his efforts to save Subcon, to allow the dead children to actually get to “live” in some kind of after-life, to try and keep his abuser away-

And it had all been for nothing. What a fool he had been to ever think he could stay away from the one that had made his life and afterlife a living hell.

-“Snatcher…?” murmured the corpse, tilting his head to the side and stopping his fidgeting as he watched the former prince very carefully. His inhuman and pale face showed how worried he was but, unfortunately for him, the man was now long gone.

Soon, the latter’s laugh became louder, and louder, and louder until it sounded like his usual hysterical laugh. And yet, it still sounded different: broken, not distorted like it used to be back when he was a spirit, and also very much human.

And this was the fucking problem, now, wasn’t it.

The trio’s faces fell even more as they could do nothing but watch Snatcher laughing and laughing, covering his face with both of his hands, his pose getting more and more unstable as his head fell backwards.

They were all fucking dead. No matter what they’d try, no matter what means they’d find, there was no way he would be able to light up those fires again. After a few more seconds, his laugh eventually died down, leaving the trio very disconcerted by the sight before them. Slowly, the former ghost removed his hands, which were trembling a lot more than what he’d be fine showing, his eyes staring at them.

-“There’s no way we can get out of this, is there?” he asked weakly, though it really wasn’t a question, seeing the recent turns of event.

Silence was his only answer and, to be fair, this was more than enough for him to know that he was right. They couldn’t do anything, this whole thing was hopeless, they would never-

-“Actually…” the corpse interrupted his thoughts, with a graver tone than before, something that definitely didn’t reassure Snatcher in the least. The man lifted his head, glancing back at the floating corpse with an alarmed expression. What…? Did he miss something…?

-“What?” he urged his counterpart to continue, unable to stand the wait. Just like him, the kids were looking at Moonjumper insistently, visibly just as desperate to know what they could do : “You said it yourself!” he snapped at the other: “My fires are dying down, there’s nothing we-”

-“There is something,” the corpse spoke over Snatcher, louder and more determined to be heard: “You just didn’t even think of it,” his face was serious, as if he wanted the former shade to understand that this was perhaps their last resort.

And, well, it kind of was.

-“Will you explain yourself?!” groaned the hat-wearing child, holding her head in frustration: “Stop making the moment last!”

The little girl’s reproach forced Moonjumper to snap back to reality and the fact that they, in fact, didn’t have the time for that sort of suspense. He threw embarrassed glances around before starting to fidget again, rubbing his wrists nervously.

-“R-right,” he nodded, then glancing back at the young man and taking a deep breath he didn’t need: “You know, we- you were not a simple human back when you were alive- I mean, before being alive now,” he seemed to have some trouble finding the right words and that didn’t help to reassure Snatcher, already more than worried for what was to come.

-“Go straight to the point,” urged the young man again, way too frustrated and afraid to be fine with listening to a long explanation, even more when it was a confusing one. If Moonjumper had a plan, whatever it was, they had to put it in place now. They couldn’t allow themselves to lose any more time, especially with Vanessa as a major threat to Subcon Forest.

She was too unpredictable.

Moonjumper winced, but eventually sighed, his eyes staring at Snatcher gravely:

-“If you’re alive just like you were in the past…” He paused, and eventually spat it out: “Then you might still be able to summon your magic.”

The corpse’s suggestion was definitely not one the former shade had expected, and certainly not one he had even thought of. The latter immediately frowned, both in confusion and hesitation. His powers? No, he couldn’t, he knew that, because…

-“I can’t use my powers into this form, I tried,” Snatcher explained, though he knew Moonjumper wasn’t hinting at the powers he was as a ghost… But the ones he had as a human. However, he hadn’t used them in hundreds of years, couldn’t, even! Doing magic as a human and doing magic as a ghost thanks to the souls he ate… Those were two very, very different things.

-“You know what I’m talking about,” retorted his counterpart with a low tone. Just like Snatcher had feared, Moonjumper had been able to read him like an open book. It most likely had to do with the fact that the corpse had inherited his memories. To that, well, there was also probably the fact that they had -unfortunately- known each other for quite some time already.

Obviously, that made Moonjumper some kind of psychic. Now that was just great.

The man frowned again, not liking any of this. The children were now looking at him, silent and waiting for his reply, their expressions turning to ones of hope.

… Too bad this wasn’t going to last.

-“I can’t use those,” he told his floating interlocutor, his voice a bit too shaky for his liking: “And, even if I still was able to use them somehow, I have no idea how to do so anymore!”

Magic took a lot of practice and theory. However, after hundreds of years spent without actually practicing anything… Well, he had lost most of his progress. Plus… Plus he had some issues linked to those powers.

He had used them just before being murdered by Vanessa.

The living corpse’s expression became darker and he lifted his arms, exasperated:

-“Well, try, then!” his intonation had become much more aggressive, which was a bit surprising when it came to Moonjumper, who was much more patient than Snatcher: “We literally have two to three days to find something, and this is the only thing I can think of. The Time Piece isn’t ready, your fires are still dying down as we talk, and nothing can fuel them back to what they were except you.”

The former ghost froze as he heard his counterpart’s words. He knew it was true, he knew it was all true… And yet, there was something preventing him from actually considering this plan as a working one. Would he even be able to use his human magic, after so much time passed practicing a completely different form of magic…? And, even if he did, what if it didn’t work? What if Vanessa still came back to freeze everyone again?

What if… Nothing was enough? What if he wasn’t enough?

His eyes fell to the ground and he stopped breathing for a few seconds. These powers hadn’t saved him back in the cellar, so how would they be able to save them all now? Then again, Moonjumper was right: this was their only solution for now.

Unfortunately.

Said living corpse started to talk again, floating closer to the young man before putting a hand over his shoulder. Snatcher winced and furrowed his brow at the contact, still not enjoyable to him, but didn’t step away or say anything about it. He just remained silent.

-“I know it’s a lot of pressure. I’m sorry, I should have used my words better, I didn’t want to make you feel bad when you’re more than right to feel the way you do now.”

Snatcher gritted his teeth at the other’s words. He was being pitied again!

-“What about you?” he snapped back, glancing back up to glare at Moonjumper: “You’re so insistent with me using my old magic, but don’t you have my old body too?”

His question seemed to surprise the floating corpse a bit as the latter’s eyes widened. However… Soon enough, a sad smile appeared on his features and he tilted his head, as if the answer were painfully obvious:

-“You know that this type of magic uses one’s life-force as a fuel,” he started, his smile slowly disappearing: “… And I’m not exactly alive anymore.”

The young man’s face fell as he heard this because, even if deep down he was aware of that… It still hurt to be confronted with such a terrible reality. He was the only one that could save Subcon Forest, and while he had been more than ready for that… Using a part of himself that he had rejected for so long was much more difficult than it appeared.

Lukas, the Prince he used to be, had long been dead, and Snatcher had done everything to adopt a new persona, new attitudes, a new personality… He had changed his whole self just to kill any leftovers of who he used to be.

And now… Now he had to dig through all of these old shards of himself, those he had chosen to ignore all those years…?

He didn’t know if he could do that. Especially when said powers hadn’t been able to save him from a very, very painful and terrifying death.

Snatcher lowered his head, staring at the floor and gritting his teeth to the point it just hurt. His fists were tight and he could feel his nails almost breaking the skin of his palms, though at the moment, he didn’t care much about the pain. Compared to how terrible he was feeling at the moment, it was barely noticeable anyway.

-“… But what if I can’t…?” he murmured, his voice almost inaudible, like a whisper: “I’m not that person anymore…” He covered his face with both of his hands, already feeling some tears coming up in his eyes. No. No.

No.

He didn’t want anyone to see him cry, no one, ever, and especially not Moonjumper and the little girls. The former ghost was already being pitied far too much and he didn’t want to worsen what was already quite unbearable.

-“What do you mean?” suddenly asked the bow-wearing child, with an unsure intonation: “Why wouldn’t you be able to do that anymore?”

Snatcher remained silent for a few seconds. He kept telling himself he couldn’t do magic anymore, but really, why indeed? It was hard to know the difference between what was being realistic and his self-loathing issues, which he was very well aware of, even more now that he had met Moonjumper. He really wanted to believe this could work, he really did, but then again, the question remained: “what if?”

Before he could find the words to answer her question, the other brat started to talk:

-“I mean… We could try to speed up our experiments on the Time Piece, but…” she paused, rubbing her arm: “I’m not sure it’s safe.”

The younger one added, nodding her head as she did so:

-“It won’t be safe, but if you really can’t use your powers, it’s still a risk we can take,” she slightly glared at Moonjumper before continuing: “if you think you can’t do it, it’s alright. We won’t force you. You have your reasons.”

Her older friend made a few steps in his direction and gently touched his left arm, rubbing it slowly and not putting too much pressure on it:

-“What she said,” she told him with a sad smile, though it was one that was trying to convey reassurance: “We get it, we’ll do what we can to help, it’s okay. Don’t worry.”

At their words, the former ghost felt more tears coming into his eyes. Why was he so weak…?! Why couldn’t he hold back, why couldn’t he repress those awful emotions that were hurting him so much?! Why did he have to…

Why did he have to be human again?

A sob eventually escaped his lips and before he could realize what was happening, the former Prince fell onto his knees, finally breaking down. Sounds of crying echoed in the room as numerous sobs left him, making his body tremble and his shoulders shake from the conflicting sets of emotions he had to deal with. Shame, fear, anxiousness, self-loathing… All negative but very, very powerful ones.

Without much surprise, the trio in front of him was more than troubled by the sight and, immediately, the little girls rushed at his sides, shushing him, reassuring him and rubbing his back. But their kindness and mercy were only making things worse, were only making Snatcher cry harder from how pathetic and useless he felt at the moment.

He hated to be seen that way. He hated every second of it.

The floating corpse was watching the scene happening before him with guilt clearly visible on his features, his annoyance at Snatcher’s reticence now all washed away with the terrible realization that, no, this wasn’t as easy as what he had first thought. But not only that.

He had gone too far.

With an even more remorseful expression, Moonjumper slowly joined the children to Snatcher’s side, his hands fidgeting again. The corpse glanced everywhere around him, as if he didn’t know where to stand, or, where to float rather. When his eyes came back on the former Prince, crying more and more uncontrollably, he winced, tightening his jaw. This most likely wasn’t what he had expected, but hey, he had been the one to suggest that solution, as traumatizing it was for the former ghost.

-“I…” He tried to talk again, only to stop for a brief pause, searching for his words: “I’m sorry,” he apologized, his tone full of guilt and sadness: “I shouldn’t have put so much pressure on you, when you’re already dealing with…” he gestured to the world around them: “with all of this. I guess I was… And still am, actually, very scared of what might happen from now on. But that doesn’t excuse the way I talked to you earlier.”

He paused, while Snatcher’s sobs stopped, the latter clearly listening to him attentively:

-“I’m really sorry. I should have been the one to know how much this would affect you, and I’ve gone too far. I won’t force you to do anything, there are other solutions and, while we do need to find them, they still exis-”

The former ghost didn’t let the other the time to finish his sentence and cut him short:

-“I’ll do it,” he said suddenly, his voice still broken from how hard he had cried and yet sounding determined: “It’s fine. I’ll do it.”

Snatcher loathed this idea… But Moonjumper had been right, despite what he just tried to say a few instants ago: this was their only way out of this, and most likely the most efficient one. No matter how much this would affect the young man, he just… Couldn’t stand the idea of giving up when he could actually do something to prevent it. The idea of not being good enough, the idea of not being powerful enough to do a single thing… Sure, he was scared, but this was nothing compared to how he’d feel once Vanessa decided to come and freeze the entire forest again.

He was the only one who could protect Subcon and, as the rightful king of his forest, he was going to put his own suffering aside if it meant he could save all of its inhabitants.

-“Are you sure…?” asked the bow-wearing kid, whose face showed how worried she was. Well, actually, the whole trio looked that way, but she was the one looking the most concerned.

-“Yeah…” he replied, slowly lifting his head and drying his tears on his sleeve. His face was red and his hair was stuck to his wet cheeks, his hands still trembling. But he had made up his mind.

He was going to save Subcon.

No matter what it would take. -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Hehehehehe another cliffhanger, woohooo- Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter ! See you in the next one !

=> Chapter 18