#ranting and venting a bit

[nicoleknives]

i dont know about you guys but I really love making art, but sometimes it just HURTS a lot, its been a while since i'm not feeling confortable drawing anything at all, maybe its the current circunstances of my life that makes things a little bit more complicated than it should be, or maybe i'm being to harsh on myself when doing anything at all...

anyway right now the only things i can do is work, and when im not working i don't feel like drawing, so i just do anything else ☠️

so sorry for this absence! have this little shane i made a few months ago and never posted 💞

[golden--goofball]

i love dnis like this because tell me why these people think they're normal when their list of people they are literally instructing to stay away from them go like:

-nazis!! (*≧∪≦)

-hitler reincarnates!!! (≧∇≦)b

-PEOPLE WHO HAVE OPINIONS ON FICTION THAT I DON'T LIKE OR AGREE WITH FUCK OFF AND DIE I HOPE YOU ALL GET FUCKED BY CHAINSAWS AND YOUR BODIES ARE FED TO THE DEVIL HIMSELF ON A SILVER FUCKING PLATTER /SRS /NEG /KYS /DIE

-terrorists!!!! (≧ω≦)/

[darkxsoulzyx]

do you guys ever get too scared to post ocs because you’re worried that their design or story isn’t cool enough

And then someone posts their OC/sona that looks super similar to your OC, even though you’ve technically made yours first

And now you’re scared of posting them because you’re afraid someone is gonna try and compare the two, because someone will always do that if they look similar enough

Do you guys ever feel that way or am I just really really stupid

[clonedchaos]

Welp, as I was googling some images for Yasammy week, I came across a thread and turns out one of my favorite Jurassic YouTubers is homophobic and a Yasammy hater…

(More ranting in the tags)

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

The fans: Ugh Sonic was just so preachy. I mean obviously he's supposed to be the good guy, so any uncomfortableness I feel here and any way I feel like Sonic's choices are framed as being why some other people have shitty lives is just bad writing because he is obviously supposed to be right always, but this characterization makes no sense. Isn't he right for the things he did?

Ian Flynn, using Kitsunami to say the (barely even at this point) quiet part even louder: Hey it's almost like ever since the Mr. Tinker event we've been purposely running with the critique of Sonic as being more selfish than he appears. Sonic is upholding a system of Eggman v Sonic that currently benefits him and shuts down talk of how to improve the current system because he likes his own personal enjoyment and he's attached enough to Eggman that he'd rather Eggman pretend to be a good person than be stuck in prison for life. He doesn't even quite practice what he preaches. We are trying to show that the current hero v villain system and Sonic's recklessness currently affects some people poorly and that Sonic isn't a perfect hero.

[danwhobrowses]

I'm not sure how much good this vent will do, I'm not even sure I want to post this vent after my last one, but I'm writing it just so it's out of my head and into words because it seems once again fandom has chosen to send vitriol Ashton Greymoore's way.

What for? They talked to a 'specter' of the primordial titan within them, through their connection to the earth, the natural flow of creation and destruction. They ask what will happen to the world, it responds that it'll endure, they ask what of the people, it responds that the strong will survive and the weak will be remade into something stronger, to which Ashton replies they think they understand. To fandom this means that Ashton is becoming a fascist, that they have a 'Make Exandria Great Again' attitude for wanting the Primordials back, that they need to be beaten up or 'get what's coming to them' in order to change their mind, and I can only sit here and stew and wonder if this hate is really well-founded? Ashton is among my favourite characters in C3, I get frustrated by them at times too but if I think about it a big percentage of my frustrations is more towards people disliking them than me disliking things they do, or Matt setting up scenarios that doesn't do them any favours towards the fandom that hates them. Some of these are knee-jerk reactions of course, but for others it does feel like they have it out for Ashton, and I don't wanna engage with that, which makes it quite lonely when most of the fandom hones in on it.

For the most part I can understand how the whole 'the weak will be remade' bit can be taken badly; it's definitely iffy, but every other plan we have is also very iffy. The Release Predathos option literally involves unleashing an entity that wants to genocide the gods, the Maintain Status Quo option ('option' the status quo imo is impossible, in my mind the Gods can stay but the dynamic will still have to change) maintains a relationship where the gods pick and choose who they feel deserves help, using their power to covet more power, strongarm and demand loyalty, and overall choose fellow gods over mortals when the chips are down and not owning up to it. We should also remember that entities can speak in riddles, 'remade into something stronger' doesn't necessarily mean death; it could mean to adapt and grow, to become strong enough to bear and overcome it as many of the PCs of Critical Role have done with their hardships and trauma. It's worth reminding that the sad truth is that people will die whatever outcome happens - the aim is always to lessen the amount but if the Gods leave it's a power vacuum, if we linger too long it's a Calamity, and if the Gods stay it's a holy war on a more wild and less organized scale - and that Ashton isn't saying they approve of such death, merely that they think they understand. The commune doesn't tell Ashton which way to go; it only tells them that the world will endure, there will be change and it will change people, trees will still grow, the wind will still blow, the waves will still flow along the coasts of the sea, and people will survive. I know the interpretation can differ from people thanks to Matt's patented vague or riddle-mounted choices in phrase, but I also think if it was the Wildmother who told Orym or some other follower that 'nature is a cycle, everything must adapt to change or else it'll die - this world will change, but it will also survive' nobody would be calling Orym a fascist, people would accept it because the Wildmother's domain is nature, and nature is not always kind.

While we're mentioning Orym - and because this is gonna come off as critical I must preface that I like and enjoy All of the Hells, that's not changed - I also gotta call it out here because it does very much feel like the people who hate Ashton hate them for the reasons they love Orym. Both are stubborn, they're diligent in their personal code, they care deeply for their friends and would give their whole being just to keep them safe, they believe in the Hells' power and greatness more than each member does and more than they believe in their own, but Ashton gets the hate mainly because these fans agree more with Orym on the god stuff. What confuses me though is how these same haters can despise Ashton for being consistent but love Braius, the literal Devil Worshipper who secretly is on board with the Chase Away plan only so he can help the Devil rule the world, the compulsive liar. Where's Braius' scrutiny? A world under Asmodeus will be a far worse 'survival of the fittest' scenario, why does Braius get a pass in all this stuff huh? Because he's funny? Seems people ignore the whole morality talk when they're discussing Braius' dedication to Exandrian Satan.

I find it irksome too that even the group seem to criticize Ashton reaching out to Primordials too - as if that wasn't what we wanted them and Fearne to do anyway. They don't dislike the gods simply because they're a 'great entity', it's because they're a great entity that holds power and doesn't use it equally or fairly; they pick and choose who to help, a lot of the time in Ashton's experience for their own self-service, but they won't prioritize mortals over another god no matter who cruel or heinous the god is being, and the following of these gods are so intertwined with politics that most religious motivation also ends up being political. Ashton has no connection to the gods, they reached out and got nothing, an Angel looked at them and made them feel like nothing, but they do have a connection to the Primordials; from the Earth Golem to the Titan Empress they're literally a vessel of, they experienced something significant in their connection to the Earth, so I don't like how that they're almost mocked for having it. In addition, Ashton's behaviour during this commune differs because of that connection, but also because the titans are a natural flow; they don't demand or test or politic or prejudice, and despite being a Great Entity in its own right it never made sure Ashton felt small for their own satisfaction, they asked a question and got an answer, it's the same reason Ashton has disdain for most political leaders but likes and respects Keyleth, Allura, Kima, Pike, and (eventually) Percy despite also being people in power. To call on Orym and the Wildmother as an example again; Orym's an Air Ashari, the Ashari are guardians of the Elemental Planes - made from the Primordials - not tied to a god, but nobody criticizes his connection to the Wildmother despite both not being a follower and his culture being more tethered to Primordials and their descendants. I'm not saying it's all correct for Ashton to want things to go back to how Primordials ruled, but we must remind ourselves also that we only know a story written by victors when it comes to the Schism - a story which could very easily have been altered and edited to make it feel more justified for the Primes and mortals to actively genocide all the Primordials, the native species and creators of this world, and desecrate their remains to make weapons, soul anchors, and cities - the specter didn't say 'fuck em, all mortals should die' after all, if they believe mortals would survive then they must be at the least tolerant of mortal existence. Why is it okay for god followers to say they wanna keep the world with the gods they have a connection to (and I'm not saying they aren't) but Ashton is out of line for wanting to have a world which has something active that they also have a connection to? It seems rather unfair to allow one side to have and the other to have not, picking and choosing because our audience's bias has spent more time with the gods, Ashton wanting something they can connect to doesn't feel all wrong either, the Eidolons still exist with faint worship hiding away so they're not smited by the gods, why can't faith exist so they're not in hiding? I sincerely doubt the Punk Rock that is Ashton is asking for the Primordials to fill the Gods' roles the same way the Gods have been running things either, they want to break the throne remember? There needs to be a balance in ideals and practice of course, and in an ideal world there could even be a more fluid and all-inclusive Exandria where gods and Eidolons live harmoniously with mortals without hierarchy and class systems, I think Ashton could happily live with something like that, they did say the world needs 'a little chaos' to call back to Matt hinting that the current world doesn't have enough.

Which leads us to those wishing violence upon Ashton - and I really don't like that. People who say 'hitting them over the head is the only language they understand' seem to misinterpret Ashton as if everyone around them have been on their hands and knees begging Ashton to reconsider and them ignoring valid points and pulling a Leroy Jenkins. In reality, nobody is actually talking to Ashton about it, a lot of the frustration with Bells Hells right now is that they aren't talking to each other, even about the end goal! Ashton has valid reasons for their thinking, so being violent isn't gonna change their mind; undermining, dehumanizing and trying to effectively bully anyone let alone someone with chronic pain and low self worth will never truly convince them to your way of thinking. All people understand the language of violence, but that language is not used justly, those who truly wish violence upon Ashton don't want it in hopes it'll force Ashton to change their mind, they want it for their own satisfaction of seeing them in pain; so they can further push them away from the rest of the group and go 'that guy's not one of us', make it so the people Ashton calls family after a lifetime of loneliness, confusion and abandonment - the people they promised they won't abandon, and have kept true on that promise even at their lowest - make them feel small and worthless, and force them into box where they can't be themselves, and I hate that people would want to treat them that way. Ashton IS capable of listening; they've stepped back and trusted the other Hells to do their own thing even when it's ridiculous like staging a play where they pretend to be Ludinus to trick Unseelie emissaries into thinking that he attacked them, they listened to the gods even when they didn't have to like they promised they would and despite it being very personal they held themselves back for the benefit of the group, and if the group talked to them calmly where they were all allowed to healthily discuss the pros and cons, the ideals and compromises, and the risk and reward of all plans that have been proposed then they would listen, and they would try - you don't need to slice bread with a broadsword.

Will Ashton 'get what's coming to them'? Maybe, but what is that exactly? We only assume to know the full vision of what Ashton wants to act on. All of Bells Hells are gonna face the consequences of the choice they make on Ruidus - when they finally make one that is - in and out of the world they live in, so won't that apply to everyone? So what for Ashton? do people want Fractures 2.0? Does everything Ashton wants in life have to blow up violently in their face? Family, Closure, their best friend's safety, why does 'what's coming to them' have to be something aggressive and harmful? People change through positive reinforcement and good experiences too! Caduceus Clay would remind you that it's love that makes people. Don't mistake this rant as me wanting Ashton to be exactly as they are now, I too want to see growth from Ashton and we ARE seeing it happen; I see it in small instances where they think twice about rash actions and try not to fly off the handle, when they sit just to listen or understand or to defuse tension, and that when they're going somewhere or doing something they let the group know in advance, those who think Ashton hasn't changed since ep. 1 aren't paying close attention, but that doesn't mean that they don't still have more ground to cover. I believe that Ashton grows the most through kindness; when they're treated like a person and not a blunt instrument or a nuisance, and I hope what's 'coming' for Ashton isn't rejection, bitterness, and isolation, but acceptance, empathy, and for someone - if you know me you'd know who I'd want it to be - to convince them that they are worthy of living, that they're special not because of their powers or blood or because they have died and been put back together again (honestly, it does irk me a little that both Keyleth and Imogen chose that for titles and to brag to the Matron, I know it isn't intended this way but sometimes it feels like saying 'your best defining quality is that you've died a lot') but because while they have every reason to hate everything they still chose to be kind to those who deserve kindness, they have a good heart and they mean well. Are they perfect? No! They're in their 20s very few people irl have their lives together at even twice that age, but I want them to have good things in their life; things that help them feel happy and safe and like they can still feel comfortable in their own skin without having to appear more 'palatable' for people who've already decided that they don't like them. I want them to know that they've always deserved to live and they still deserve it now, I want that not just for Ashton but for all the Hells, and hopefully they'll all live to have it.

And most of all I want the people who hate them to be wrong about Ashton Greymoore, and I want Taliesin to prove them wrong.

[crushingmagnolias]

I thought wed established that Doctor Who isn’t a sci-fi show. The critics about character dévelopement are valid I will give that, but I don’t agree when we start speaking about hard logic and the genre rules of sci-fi series.

Doctor Who is not Star Trek, it’s an adventure sitcom set in outer space.

I mean we all have different approaches and expectations when watching a show. But I promise, watching Doctor Who like it’s not a silly fun timey Wimey series will always lead to disappointment and plot holes.

[incorrect-percabeth-quotes]

Sally: *sees Annabeth judo flip Percy and kick him*

Sally: That's it. Percy, we're going home.

Percy: Finally. Thank you mom! I've missed home so much. I can't wait to be back with you and Paul and my soon to be little sister!

Annabeth: Wait Sally, Percy is suppose to be going with me on the quest!

Sally: No. I already put Percy in one abusive situation and I refuse to do it again. I will not let you hurt my son again, nor will I let you pressure him into going on another quest!

Sally: I feel bad for the amount of stress you were under Annabeth, but my son is the victim here. He's been brainwashed, kidnapped and forced to live homeless for two months while constantly under threat. He's coming home to recover with me, and after seeing how you just treated him, you are not welcomed to join us.

[mothstache]

y’know,

I will never know if this falls under the umbrella of the autistic experience or not. But one thing I will always resent about “autistic positivity” posts I see ANYWHERE is that so many natural traits I have stemming from my autism are labeled as neurotypical behavior somehow. It’s hard for me to describe but I’ve faced so much rejection from both NT people as well as other autistic people for just acting natural. NT people have mocked me for when I go silent or nonverbal or dissociate or prefer to listen to a conversation—but when I show any signs of being naturally extroverted (something that was ingrained in me as a way to mask from a young age) fellow autistic people have told me I’m “creepy”, “overly friendly,” “loud/annoying”, etc. I really feel like I can’t win a lot of the time, and it affects how I function in a group. I feel like I swing from one end of the scale to the other constantly because no matter what face I show it’s wrong, to both NT and ND people.

Autistic people cover such a wider spectrum than online positivity posts talk about ever. I’ve been told countless times that “I don’t act autistic” because I love to talk with strangers, I’m comfortable navigating social situations (most of the time, sometimes it can give me severe anxiety), I’m very forward and need things explained to me directly and so on. I hate that so many people including other ND people view traits that are just part of who I am as a reason I won’t fit in with the autism community.

[ikamigami]

Slight rant I guess lol

I'm probably most likely wrong about Sun cause like honestly I doubt that VAs know what depressive psychosis is and guilt delusion and all that stuff so there's no way that my perspective on Sun is right but it's whatever I guess idk so anyway..

In laes episode I think that Sun was like "why Moon still blames himself when things are my fault".. Sun (at least to me) always seemed to want to help Moon realize that the things that happened to them aren't his fault.. or that's what Sun always thought..

And it somewhat fits with what he told Earth "sometimes I don't know how to help".. he sounded sad.. because he was never able to help Moon realize that things aren't his fault that Sun really don't blame Moon.. but himself..

To me it seems that Sun doesn't want to talk with Jack about his feelings anymore because he said that Jack didn't understand him.. and I really think that it's all about the guilt that Sun feels for how Moon and later Nexus turned out to be.. their suffering and mental issues..

I feel like Sun doesn't care about what will happen to him as long as he won't die solely because he doesn't want to leave his family.. because he knows exactly how it feels when your family member dies.. he went through this so many times..

For me Sun doesn't want to share his feelings on any matter that may reveal how guilty he feels.. that he blames himself and feels like he's a bad person..

But like I said.. it's how it looks like to me.. but 1) I'm not the writer of this show so idk what VAs has planned for Sun 2) things could've pretty much changed regarding Sun's story arc cause like this show has over 2 years so a lot of things happened in VAs lives that could shape later parts of story and 3) I heavily doubt that Sun actually has depressive psychosis cause it's not that common and like Davis said himself they only show stuff that either they themselves experienced or their friends.. which is understandable tbh..

I'm trying to comes to terms with it.. that only I and maybe just a few peeps see Sun this way - depressive psychosis with guilt delusion etc - cause it's highly unlikely that's true..

As much as I doubt that Sun will become Dark Sun 2.0 it's still more likely than what I think about Sun tbh.. heck even theory that Dark Sun is actually Sun from the future is more likely than what I think about Sun..

And that's okay cause this is VAs story and not mine..

It only hurts a little solely because I had learned the hard way that people don't understand how it is to feel guilty on delusional level.. how it is to feel like you're the worst person ever.. but that's my personal experiences..

But idk VAs and their personal experiences that they later base their characters on.. so I'm trying to get over it a little bit..

If later it'll turn out that I was completely wrong about Sun I might continue writing my fic as an AU.. if I really will still feel like it.. cause for now it kinda sucks that no one understands..

This is also why I lost some of the passion that I had for theorizing for sams.. or about Sun.. cause those folks who were rude me made me realize that most people don't get it how it is to feel like you're evil and everything is your fault..

And that's okay but it still hurt how they went about it.. how they ridiculed me and were mean to me..

But maybe it's not that bad cause at least it helped me distance myself from sams and Sun.. like it doesn't matter that no one gets it.. I can't theorize for shit lol but that's fine..

[nocinovae]

Sometimes I get frustrated with what ppl complain is meta gaming. I mentioned in chat when Tubbo was in the maze that he could check where he found black Cucurucho. Like I wasn’t even meta there bc I don’t watch Forever’s streams!

I experience a lot of lore from the main ppl I watch mostly Tubbo or Philza rn since there’s others who aren’t playing Qsmp atm.

Tubbo has mentioned it before that just connecting patterns and making your own conclusions isn’t mg just bc you could be right. Like black concrete shows up > Tubbo finds black Cucurucho (and honestly is like one of the only ppl outside of bigger lore who HAS seen him at this point) > Fed workers start showing up with black infection > forever suddenly is infected with the same stuff.

I honestly didn’t know that the black concrete was a definite Cucurevil thing. It just makes sense tho.

I’m pretty sure Tubbo has mentioned that before too about the weird evil Cucurucho being connected to the concrete.

Sorry for the ramble it just pisses me off when ppl take connecting patterns and people just thinking for themselves as meta. It gets a bit crazy sometimes

[call-me-copycat]

I just need to be told "You Can Do It" right now.

[pinkyjulien]

I hope everyone knows that Jago is canonly a trans man 🙏 and that everyone respect that fact without being weird about it

Reminder that your OC doesn't have to be Bi to be with him! Implying that you have to be bisexual to be attracted to trans people can be seen as/is transphobic

I want to make IT REALLY DAMN CLEAR that there's NOTHING wrong with shipping him with a bisexual person BUT if the only reason they're bisexual is because Jago is trans, that's not good! This might be due to internalize transphobia and you need to unlearn this false "rule", if someone tries to force that fact into you or your ship, be wary of their intention

And Yes that's something that need to be said in this fandom, I'm sadly aware someone though it was cool to imply Mitch must be bi in my ship since Valentin is trans. I have a guess as to who it was, you're just being transphobic yet again, but it's nothing surprising

Be aware of the lurking terfs and happy shipping 🤠✌

EDIT to add that screenshot of the data MrHands gives you

"Born as Jagoda" Jagoda being a commonly feminine slavic name !

[brunettelatte]

Stood on a scale for the first time since last September and cried when I realised I went from 6 stone 6 to 7 stone 3 😭

I knew I'd put on a little weight this year but I didn't realise I had put on ELEVEN WHOLE POUNDS ???

Triggered my relapse fr

[radi-0silence]

Goddd, while I'm at it today, there are too many types of robots that I'd want to be!!!! I can't decide on any one designnnnnn!

Do I want to be a sleek brand new model, a rusted well-used scrap bot, maybe even a mass of thick wires that don't even try to look human! How many eyes? One, two, 40!? Cameras! Screens!! GAH! And that not even getting into body type!

Character design is so hard, especially when all of them sound great.... I really need to get my stuff together... >~<

[guiltycorp]

mmm im sort of glad they released arcane survivor jayce skin voicelines in league before act 3 drops because my expectations for it were rising a bit too much lmao... before it i almost convinced myself that yeah, viktor's character arc will lead him to manipulate jayce into transferring his soul to a new mechanical body + focus on a new strategy for 'healing' societal issues that isn't 100% evil and bad (while still having its drawbacks re: will and consent) and fighting noxians would place the zaun side in a better position to bargain with piltover for equal rights and a stop to exploitation (with an open ending sure but still), or even a straightforward revolution with zaun getting its independence through a violent protest that piltover wouldn't be able to curb due to being stretched too thin

but uhm.... all of this looks kinda... sigh

i really doubt they'll have the time in the remaining 3 episodes to develop both his and Viktor's motivations to fit those new ideas, feels like more of the same 'it all happened off-screen, trust that it makes sense' journey saying that Viktor is 'still worth saving' feels especially yucky all things considered, like pls stop trying to save that man and let him act and choose for himself for once in this season maybe? never thought i'd miss the times when Viktor was doing unsafe experiments, getting illegal drugs from evil mentors and accidentally fridging random female assistants, but mmm that sure didn't get a proper continuation for him did it... just like with Caitlyn, or even Mel or Jinx, we just can't seem to get a proper development for the obviously Questionable things the characters choose to do, it's all kind of swept under the rug or cancelled out by magic interference i guess, or they changed their mind off-screen so it's fine now now that i think about it, Jayce is the only one who was allowed to somewhat grow and change organically, and yet this arcane adventure of his might end up ruining even that... well maybe Vi too but she didn't have a concrete focus this season, just more of the same 'should i reconnect with my sister/father or kill them off for good' and lesbian angst (if she still goes back to enforcers after this i just... fml) did Ambessa's warmongering get the best of her or was she cornered by the Black Rose shenanigans with no better way out? did Isha have any purpose aside from giving us false hope that Jinx will get better and have a happy ending? will Mel have any relevance aside from the new magical one and managing her own mother? does Viktor want to 'supersede nature' and get rid of human error element now because of his own character journey or because that's just what Hexcore is leading him to do?... will Caitlyn show that she still doesn't get why Zaun is the way it is or will she also go 'yeahhh i made some mistakes, but now we fight a common enemy yay, and i'll be a bit less strict in the future without making any meaningful changes to the status quo... it was all them foreigners fault' it's just all so... aghhh

and yep now i am expecting that the piltover/zaun conflict is overrr because they have to come together to fight Ambessa and whatever is going wrong with the magic, sighhh social conflict plotlines are a little too spicy for our animated league adaptation i guess... ...this is the only voiceline implication i like and even then i can't help but imagine Viktor the damsel in distress begging Jayce to fix the mistakes they both did instead of like, participating in that himself

bonus points if that promise won't even be to Viktor fghgfhgf