#ramblings because Im actually pissed rn

[purplemys]

Living in a developing country myself, surrounded by poverty and hardships, I am sure it needs to be said: Not being invested in the lives and deaths of rich people (yes, I do mean generally wealthy people) is one thing.

Laughing at, mocking, and making memes about their possible demise and now confirmed demise is another level of gross lack of basic respect. Yes, you will not catch the common crowd in such conditions. Yes, the Titanic is considered a gravesite. What do we do when we don't actually care or sympathize with someone at all who died?You ignore them. People can mock the most heinous, pedophiles, sex offenders of any kind- sure. But these people, I'm willing to bet most of us don't know them personally. Nothing I've seen indicated that they deserved one of the worst experiences ever. It baffles me. I've seen all the takes imaginable, from how these people "had it coming" and "they don't deserve that kind of attention that should be put on something more important." I've seen genuinely stupider scenarios and it all ends the same. With all of them dead and the families mourning. There's no change, justice or vindication in that.

The bodies on that submarine will likely be found obliterated... You can't really take back those kinds of remains to the family unless you want them to do it thoroughly which I doubt they'll do... so guess there's not much closure for the families either.

Then there's the "issue" with the supposed news coverage. I only heard about this incident through the memes. The incident with the refugees, I caught wind of through public outcry. I genuinely don't see how people are somehow "putting more importance on a bunch of scummy millionaires than a hundreds of refugees."

I care about both honestly. The world is going to shit and I can't care less about how rich someone is when something horrific happens.

"Eat the rich" this "Eat the rich" that. You laughing at their deaths ain't gonna distribute the wealth to the poor or tell the goverment to give a shit about the poverty and strife-ridden areas. All you guys are doing are showing how little you care about their lives and their loved ones.

I'm real sick of the blatant disregard for people dying just because the people were rich and reckless (and probably disrespectful, depending on how you look at it).

Save your clowning to yourself, honestly, you guys are insensitive. It's not funny, not even a little bit.

[silverskye13]

Random question you don’t have to answer, but how far ahead in chapters are you in terms of writing vs what’s posted on AO3? Are you posting the minute you fully finish a chapter, or are you writing chapters in chunks and posting when you can?

Currently posted up to date. I previously had a "buffer" [tried to stay 3 chapters ahead, and post on a weekly/tenday basis] but most recently I had to dismantle my backlog to fix a plot hole, so it's instant posting.

I would like to get a little bit of a buffer again in the future, but the problem with buffers is they give me the chance to go, "Wait this isn't perfect. I should fix this." As opposed to what I usually do, which is, "Oh that could've been cooler. That's fine! I will find a way to integrate this later and/or I will find a way to write around this problem."

[Or alternatively, force myself to let it go, because it's a fanfic and if it isn't perfect, who cares? No one.]

So I don't think I can have more than 1 or 2 chapters written ahead now. Know thy limits and all that.

[lets-all-calm-down-a-bit]

[fy0lin]

chat is it horrible and deplorable that i have as many donation tags as possible blocked 👁️👁️. i dont have any money to donate and seeing them just makes me miserable.

[redr0sewrites]

Can you write Vox x reader where like the reader just says like really unhinged things and just like vile things whenever they rage and stuff like the internet could be slow or smth and the reader is just like “IM GOING TO RIP OFF MY SKIN” idk man I’m kinda just self projecting rn like you can right anything with it tbh idk sorry for rambling anyway you don’t have to do this if you don’t wanna

THIS IS SO MEEEEE I LOVE THIS IDEA SM!!! sorry it took me a hot minute to reply to this i have over 70 hazbin hotel requests in my inbox 😭

🥀Cw: fluff, crack, silly vox

when he first met you, vox was charmed by your seemingly sweet nature- that is, until you were pissed

your unholy screech of how you were going to rip off your skin if he cut the wifi again was both endearing and confusing in his eyes

vox would just short circuit for a second, just blinking at you while he tries to process what you just said

once it clicks, he just starts giggling. vox very rarely genuinely laughs, most of his laughs are professional or part of the persona he adopts as the leader of vox enterprises, but when he's so shocked by what you just said, he can't control the booming laughter thay fills the room

he's wheezing and gasping, each barking laugh only pissing you off more

"what's so funny? if you keep laughing i am going to fucking break ur fingers like carrot sticks!" you snap, and vox only giggles harder

after a few seconds, you can't help but notice how adorable his laughter is, and soon you don't mind it as much

once you two are officially together, you notice how stressed vox often is, yet how he seems to visibly relax around you

the batshit crazy things you say, which normally disgusts other people, only seem to amuse him

its actually a wonderful dynamic because you bring some spontaneity and slight insanity into vox's otherwise irritating and depressing lifestyle, and vox balances out the crazy things you say and calms you down every time

you often find yourself searching for new phrases to baffle him with, and for new ways to make him laugh

after vox has a stressful day, he enjoys just listening to you ramble about the most insane things and adores hearing whatever fucked up saying you've adopted recently

vox notices himself beginning to copy your speech patterns. he only begins to realize when he slips in an exceptionally odd metaphor into a work meeting and everyone stares at him, yet his heart skips a beat at the thought

there's something so charming to him about the fact that he's adopting your mannerisms, and you truly make him laugh when no one else can

whenever another one of the vees pisses him off, he always comes to you for advice on incredibly deranged comebacks, and you never disappoint!

he's won multiple arguments by just repeating one of your fucked up sayings and the other vees being too lowkey shocked to disagree

vox LOVES IT when you diss people he hates, hearing you ramble some fucked up insults about alastor made him fall in love with you all over again

"that worm on a string fucked up karen cut bob looking ass- if i see him around here again im going to eat a fucking brick" *cue vox looking at you with the biggest heart eyes*

overall, you are both menaces, but you're menaces in love ♥️

vox lay with his head in your lap, the blue light of his screen illuminating the dim room as you rambled mindlessly about your day.

"and THEN, this fucking asshole tried to flirt with me! ME!! as if he doesn't know were dating! ugh, it makes me feel like i have an entire beehive living beneath my skin. i swear if he even looks at me again im going to lick wet cement i can NOT deal. how can you even work with him? he's such a fucking CREEP voxy, i'm going to cut off those ugly ass wings and shove them so far down his throat- hey, are you even listening?"

you look down to see vox half asleep, his eyelids drooping as his light dimmed. "keep talking.." he murmurs, looking up at you with a lazy smile on his face. "you're my favorite person t' listen to.."

i love the idea of vox with a partner who challenges his very idea of power. he clearly wraps himself in a sort of persona, surrounding himself with powerful people and acting like he's so serious and important. i love the idea of him falling in love with someone who can break down his walls in seconds, someone who can dismantle his entire bravado act and who allows him to truly be himself. this is such a wonderful prompt and i am eating this up. nonnie ur awesome!!!!

[anonzentimes]

this might be a dumb thing to say idk im so tired rn im shaking a bit but i never get how people try to say things like "komahina is so toxic they literally hate each other and never get along" because even aside from if you actually Play the Game and see that their relationship is far more complex than just "like" and "dislike" and whatever tf, at the end of it all you still get interactions like this

like they. they clearly Don't hate each other. in the end the entire class is continuing to build that sort of friendship and trust, like ship it or no you can't play all the games and watch the entire anime and still try and argue that they DESPISE each other (which i've seen a lot of people try to claim) it's so stupid. like its right There anyways im going to bed

People either through not having media literacy or just trying to say their ship is better deny that Komahina is reciprocal or not toxic constantly. They try to undermine their relationship in favor of what they like more, or commonly because they're homophobic pretend they're outrageous together. To cut to the chase they're stupid. For media literacy being an issue that's more forgivable, but not checking the text again to know the info can avoid that problem. If they don't care enough to double check the text they shouldn't be saying anything major on it anyways, But that's just my opinion.

Komahina is reciprocal but have a breakup period due to circumstances that they overcome and become stronger together because of it. They're not toxic, they do not despise each other, even in a no despair au they wouldn't be entirely aggressive to each other. They require growth together that can be accomplished without the killing game, this is literally seen in the Dangan Island events! They love and enjoy each other's company when they aren't at their worst, They both still need therapy/growth but they can love each other and in the process learn to love themselves. All the rambling to say: people frustrate me when they try to say Komahina despise each other. Anyone with a brain, even if it takes a second glance, can tell they are very fond of each other, that they have grown and forgiven each other, and that they trust each other. They're very special to me, trying to say they're something they aren't piss me off.

[jacedified]

things i cant stop thinking about !!

most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah

also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem

warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up

- yandere caller being a shade

(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)

- sams eyes being brown

(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)

- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium

(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)

- the look on kodys face at the end of it all

(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)

- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)

(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)

- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name

- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???

(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)

- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..

(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”

… excuse the outburst)

- vampire milo.. thats all

(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)

- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..

(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)

- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??

- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward

(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)

- what is avior hearing in his last video

(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)

- gavin having a myspace account

(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)

- what happens when freelancer gets old..

(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)

- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?

(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )

- imp!damien..

(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)

- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?

(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)

- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners

(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)

- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??

(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)

- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?

(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)

- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts

(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)

uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep

stay safe out there

[thewickerking]

i was looking at the poll results and was like. wtf why do yall want me to take a shower so bad and then i remembered that most people shower more frequently than like. once every two weeks. which is usually what i average. (i wear deodorant and i dont leave my apartment so its. fine.) idk i dont talk abt it online a lot i guess but having been depressed basically since birth and having grown up with an aversion to showering (thank GOD this is not as bad as when i was a kid. it used to be so fuckign bad you dont even know id get violent about it) makes it that like. showering once a week or somehow more than once a week in an actual miracle but like. its not socially acceptable to be honest abt showering if u shower less than fucking. every day and the amount of times ive talked to people who genuinely treat and act like ppl who shower less than daily are subhuman and every discussion ppl have online thats like "some depressed ppl dont shower every day" is always derailed by shit like "yeah well some people kill themselves" and its like cool great im glad that were acknowledging depression gets bad but are you like. respectful of people who cant bathe often. or is it just a hypothetical to you because outside of close friends ive talked to abt bathing literally every discussion ive had has been nightmareish. also like i feel worse after bathing like 80% of the time. "when the world feels better cause youve showered" psots piss me off cause i literally hate it and it makes me feel bad. but 2 days post shower is actually the best feeling in the world (which is where im at rn. my hair has never been better and i feel amazing and not hellish) anyways im a little tipsy this is ramble-y

[arttrampbelle]

Don't buy or go by anything nrs be selling in mk12/mk1

It completely ruins all the characters,lore,and build up over the 30+yrs it's been around.

Go by your own stories and be done with it.

Rejecting "canon" and not buying their games is the best thing to do now as a fan.

Besides we got more important things to do than that rn. (Even as a mk fan i hate what they are doing to shang tsung. They are legitimately ruining him by trying to make him like every other fucking character BUT his own)

So yeah your hcs now? Cool,not my cup of tea nessicarly,but I'd sooner take them than whatever nrs is doing atm. For the most part i like what people be cooking.

Because guess what? Fans know they character sadly better than the current writers. Why? Because they give a fuck.

Not all of them truly encapsulates the character. But by god they get his gusto,his energy,and his hutspa so to speak. They understand the fundamentals and core basis of the character. They understand nuance and not making him to be a copy paste of every other villain and antag in the Franchise.

AND THEY DON'T BLAME HIM FOR THE CURSES AND PROBLEMS HE'S IN. mortal kombat is a brutal world. But nrs sure dont fucking act like it. Shang tsung is a fucking survivor. Period. Dark magic is actually honestly in that world,at least it makes sense to be. The fucking most destructive,easy,force. And what better way to dispose of a foe? You guessed it,soul magic and spells to absolutely obliterate your opponents.

Im not saying he didn't have consequences. Oh of course. But nrs writes it now so fucking cheesy and takes the easy route.

Yes he has set backs. But it's not because of his own doing. No. It is technically the gods fault. Thats how it's been. It's actually pointing out that he was put into this position. And they were mad he took a different path. It's legitimately going against what you are told you should do. And doing what you personally feel is right for you not what society or peers tell you is "acceptable"

God ffs people. Shang tsung is so fucking luciferian coded it's not even funny. But y'all at nrs misinterpreted that (and some fans too).

Like i could go on about the complexities of shang tsung and how i feel fucking nrs/boon/and the like do not fucking deserve such an amazing and deep antagonist like shang tsung. But I'd be here all day.

I'll leave it at.

Mk12/mk1 shang tsung sucks outside of his voice and aesthetics. Nothing else of the character is truly worth it. Some ideas for him are best left to be in the draft paper. And never touched until someone with a brain,media literacy and respect can't write him. Whomever that may be.

He can be driven to madness by soul magic. But that's not what kickstarts it. No the gods put him in a corner and the only way out was to rip n tear. Literally. Like he made his hell his home. He was emperor of his dominion. He is lord of souls(basically). Like he said "fine you want bad!? I'll show you bad!!!" And bad he became. But deep down,he doesn't want this. He wants peace. He wants to live,he can't. Because the gods won't let him because he plays the game better than them. Like i have so many fucking ideas for him and i feel that everytime i see someone,fans or offical sources say something that just feels like it could have been for another character and fits another character better. It pisses me off.

Like shang is amazing,but either actually write some for him,and his character,that actually fits or make an oc or write it on another character.

Ugh.

Anyways enough rambling.

Some fans and especially netherealm studios don't fucking deserve this character

I just have so many ideas. And so much to say about this characters persona and the intricacies on shang's mind and good fucking god i wish i could safely infodump with someone. Especially on HOW HE BECAME WHO HE IS AND HONESTLY I HAVE SUCH A CAREFULLY CRAFTED BACKSTORY FOR SHANG TSUNG. And how his well magic works and WHY he's such a master at it. I wish i could infodump with someone fr.

I have so much love for this character. I wanna write for mortal kombat so bad. But at very least for shang tsung.

Good lord.

[aredlemon]

Apparently hot take and I’m about to ramble so brace yourself.

People who comment on posts of moms like making cute lunch boxes for their kids with “this is such food waste nnenennenenen” are fucking idiots and NOT the type of people who actually keep food waste in mind.

I can guarantee that when five year old me didn’t want the crust or the cheese that protruded from my sandwich my mother got a snack. You think when I use half a cucumber for a salad I just THROW the rest away?!

People who say that the little outer pieces of a strawberry that a mom took time to cut into a little star shape is going to waste are just stupid man, I can’t say it in any other way. The mom clearly ate that, or used it in a smoothie.

Also, about the gadgets that the caretakers use: Technically they are unnecessary, plastic that probably isn’t the best, and I can recognise that, without bashing on an overworked parent trying to make their kid something special. Plus “waste of time”. So caring for your child is a waste of time?

“Way to tell me you have all the time in the worl-” she probably woke up at early, and if she didn’t she works fast. Prioritising your kid isn’t new, just like wanting to make them something special isn’t something to mock. Also, how long do you think it takes to wash five pieces of fruit and make a sandwich? Just because she did it slowly for the video doesn’t mean that’s how she always does it.

“Those are too many calories-!,!,!!,!” Did you count them one by one? A small child that fucking zooms around all day and is STILL GROWING needs a lot. Most of those calories are fruit 99% of the time.

To anyone who has said that “that’s why these kids are soft and new pickiness,,!,!,!,!!!!” My father who doesn’t like the fucking the green cousin of an eggplant (don’t remember the name rn) can eat it but hates it. Will tolerate it once a year when it’s mixed with potatoes and actual eggplant. He grew up just like the other “this shit is for snokflakezzzz!!” bros, even poorer than them.

Im sorry this is such a long rant, and I know I shouldn’t get pissed like this, but some times I need to get it out. To end this off I’d like to say two things. One, don’t be like me and sometimes continue to look at comments when they make you feel bad, I know that me doing it is worsening my mood and most of the time I un-like the video due to not wanting to see those comments. Second, don’t be cynical. Live and let live. If it isn’t hurting you, the ‘perpetrator’, or the greater good, let it be. You dislike it? Move on and don’t interact (unless you want to simply argue and more of this types of videos to show up in your recommendations).

[justablah56]

i LOVE the idea of something bad happening and when it doesnt actually roll off of him right away and better his character then he has a breakdown and it's EVERYTHING that he'd been repressing because he's ALWAYS chilling and ALWAYS totally confident so when he breaks down once then it's just everything he didn't even know that he was repressing and it's the worst breakdown ever and you know i fucking love my taylor angst so much and i love how everything is definitely affecting him a lot more than he really knows and i love the idea of him finally actually truly breaking for once and all of that emotional repression catching up with him in an incredibly overwhelming way and it being the worst breakdown of his life and everyone else is just in fucking shock because taylor was always the most composed and everyone else was drowning in angst EHAOEAIEOAHEI

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH I'M LITERALLY EATING YOUR ANSWER TO MY ASK RN ITS IN MY MOUTH

ehheheehhe yay :] im glad you enjoyed my silly goofy Taylor thoughts dbssnns bUT YEAGH !!! thinking specifically about his anger towards scary about "killing" Nick . cause that was something that actually hurt him and didn't immediately become better and so he ended up lashing out . it didn't completely unlock the door , but it did take out the towel blocking the crack under the door . that while he was able to still kinda repress his like . sadness , it still ended up coming out via his anger at scary . and that's kinda why I think its taking him so long to forgive her and be chill w her again . cause it's her fault that he felt an emotion strong enough that he actually needed to react in a negative way , but at that point the idea that even *maybe* he could still be ok was enough that he didn't fully break down , but he still got pissed , and he's got a lot of pent up emotions and now that he's started letting at least that anger out , it's harder to push it back in again .

anyways sorry for aether Taylor ramble part 2 , I just think about him so much ,,

[sharksa-shivers]

it's time to ramble lolololol

So there's a post rn on twatter about Muscle Man, it's basically along the lines of "This guy had one joke the entire show and it never got old, that's fucking insane." My theory; I got a few bits of thoughts here, probably obvious shit if you're super into RS but whatever lol, ima say it anyway cuz my page bitches uwu. -Part of why i think the joke never got old is because he's fucking telling it wrong in the first place. Whenever you watch RS for the first time, you probably would be expecting "your mom" but no, it's always "my mom". It's him basically telling the joke wrong the entire goddamn time, he never does a "your mom", nah, fuck that lol, "MY MOM!!!" -There's bits where they subvert even that right? Ima bring the episode, literally called, "My Mom" To the stand. Like there's this part where the joke is less so the 'my mom' bit and much moreso, Mordecai and Rigby getting pissed and trying to be serious and Muscle Man just shits all over it fdhjfdjhfdhjfdhjfd Like that's so goddamn good bruh...

I can't find a clip of it but there's another bit in the ep that basically plays out like- MM: You know who taught High Fives how to hotwire the cart so he could slack off without getting in trouble with his boss? (pause) MM:(cont) My uncle John, he's a mechanic. You know who taught him?? MY MOM!!!! --- Again, bit of subversion lol, you don't get the 'my mom' instantly, there's build up to it. You expect one thing but get another before you get the expected thing, there's a build up lol.

^^^And there's also THIS in the episode...Where Mordecai and Rigby get so goddamn tired of the joke being told wrong, they actively tell actual 'your mom' jokes and it fucking PISSES MUSCLE MAN ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK OFF...He thinks they're making fun of his mom despite the my mom jokes...Obviously being him potentially making fun of his own mom. So yeah, this is the bit in the ep where the "irregular" part of Regular Show comes in cuz yeah So im not gonna spoil that bit. Go watch if you haven't, this eps fuckin hilarious. My basic point is RS; -Is telling a wrong version of the joke and making it their own joke. and -They subvert it at points, multiple points in the show. Another great subversion from the Ep 'Don'.

Again, a goated moment. Benson is being insanely serious, this is Muscle Man's goddamn boss so the last person you'd wanna piss off. But MM is like "lol, fuck it, this'll be funny." And goddamn does it anyway, LITERALLY AFTER BEING TOLD NO.

In conclusion, i fucking love RS, i think it's writing is really goddamn good in general and i'm probably being Obvious Andy over here, but idc lol, i wanted to ramble. Also-While i am at it; Muscle Man and Starla are amazing as a ship, argue with the wall lol. Besides Rigleen, best ship in the show. I am correct fdjhkfdkhjfdhfjd.

[prettygirlgerard]

set it off was my favorite "emo" band in middle school but they been pissing me off lately so i always skip their songs on my playist but im listening to distance disturbs me rn and i like this one so remind me to relisten to cinematics one day. im doing that rn actually.

i just really hated the welcome to elsewhere era because its sooo fake and label pushed. theyre doing a new album soon thats like a combo of all the other classic albums so ig im excited esp since they left their label and released the single independently...

i wish i coulve seen them when they toured my hometown but i was in 7th grade and paper tiger was still the white rabbit and it was 18+ :(

im just rambling rn but they last toured san antonio for elsewhere in 2022 and i almost went but couldnt buy tickets and also idk their new stuff so whatever. anyway. i hated welcome to elsewhere and that slowed/reverb shit.

[submassed]

ok senpiss and osuke megapost right here rn guys im so sorry if i forget anything + if this doesnt make any sense: (im not sorry) (this is just gonna be like. Explaining lore and shit mostly idk idk i might add more as time goes on)

warning i talk and ramble a lot during this i am so sorry to everyone on the senpai fnf tag i will not stop preaching about my two idiots

OK so my brain is fucking massive and huge i have two seperate versions of their relationship because i love how complex the both of them can get (even though senpai is quite literally surface level for like everyone who doesnt know how insane i am about his character and how much ive tried to actually give him More Character)

edit: (i lied theres like three seperate versions but im not going to explain them all because its too much and i already feel bad for talking this much)

the first one is literally just typical, bros not in the game or whatever no game exists its just normal bro time ueah ueah (i call this one Normal) (actually i dont call it that) (idk what to call it) (its the one my brain presets to) (if i dont specify which one it is its most likely this one)

the second one is a little more closer to canon senpai where hes actually in the game & this one is More Upsetting to Me a LOT a lot (ill probably get into this more when i actually have a set idea on what i want this au-ish thing to be about) (whenever im talking about this specific thing ill specify this one)

a little sneak peak on the second one is essentially just. osuke collects games, comes across senpai, they both get attached, osuke realizes how bad its getting, tries to get rid of the cartridge because he wants to focus more on actual life shit, senpai somehow Manages to come back (i explained the whole plot im so mad)

the first one is where like. osuke constantly has to move schools due to his parents travelling for work a lot. eventually he just decides to settle in with his sister and just attend the last year at the hs senpai goes to or whatever.

osuke is A COMPLETE LONER!!!!!!! HES A FREAK!!!!!! and HATES MAKING FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!! and senpai is just like Holy fuck whats up dude hey whats Up hey and just gets Ignored by osuke entirely which Pisses him off because how dare you ignore the most popular guy in School?????

so senpai just. Continuously tries to bother him so they Can be atleast Friends. Wgich OSUKE he fucking hates it because hes like "waaahhh waaahhhh whats the whole point its not gonna last waaahh waaahhhh"

but he manages to soften up and get used to it which THEN causes their initial friendship or whatever.

senpai obvs isnt gonna let all that work go to waste as soon as he became close with him Because He Realized How fucking Annoying Osuke also Is but he doesnt Mind jt because at first they are #Besties

they kinda have some sort of like "lets make fun of people together" bond Becsude They Are both Pieces of shits except one of them is popular snd another one is just Bitter and A Loner

Im not too sure how they got together yet, i hsvent decided on it. I'm kinda leaning towards the side where senpai is conflicted with these sorta feelings and isnt sure How to actually say it to Him because. Wow! Being friends with a loner? Already Damaged your View on others! And then WANTING TO DATE HIM??? WOW!!!!!!!

plus with the fact that like they most def have some sort of complexity between eachother where osuke is hella fucking jealous about his social status at school whereas senpai is SUPER SUPER SUPER jealous about osukes just. way of not Caring about what people think of him (he foes care he just tries to not let it bother him too much) (it bothers him but he doesnt say it outwardly) (he has a lot of internal shit stuck in him)

its like????? kinda tense but also not????? like the frustration fuels them both in a way if that makes sense (like their love for eachother?????? i dont know)

id like to think there wasn't just a confession it was more so pf just a awkward like, "oh shit we're pretty close, oh fuck wait hold on youre doing this rn????? dude youre kisisng me whay the fuck????? dude??????? are we like a thing now what?????? hellow??????"

i know that senpai would Probably Want there to be a confession originally but osuke is actually too fucking dense to connect two and two together (mainly due to the previous factor of him not really having much friends + having to move on so quickly and Not really processing it fully)

i just really like intimacy between them i think its really sweet seeing it 🦭

thats all i can really think of rn so ill wrap it up enjoy this big ass thread about me talking about my stupid guys i apologize again

[angelicsera]

“It won’t be like this forever, it’s only temporary” don’t piss me off. Don’t piss me off don’t piss me off don’t piss me off don’t piss me off don’t piss me offf don’t piss me offffffffffff pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee. I was bound to be like this since day ONE. My mother fucking hates me, my dad barely does ANYTHING, my siblings are all just as fucking unwell in their own rights. I have been raped since before I could fully form sentences, I dated a pedophile for years because I fucking wanted someone there for me, I’ve been forced to harm other people and animals, I can’t fucking do this anymore. I’ve had no healthy relationship and then when I finally got into one, we have barely been able to talk. I miss him so much. I wish I could just kill myself. He’s one of the only reasons why I haven’t, because I don’t have the heart to leave him without telling him. That would make me worse of a girlfriend than I already fucking am, and I don’t even know how that’s possible. I feel so many things at once, I don’t understand. I can be fine one minute and spiraling the next. It makes me feel like I’m lying about my emotions. How the fuck could I be doing so bad one minute and then be fine the next. It can’t be that bad then, it just doesn’t make sense. Oh my God and also my little brother. I KNOW he isn’t fucking doing well, it’s so blatantly obvious, but he’s just like me. He will NOT take help. He’s so fucking stuck in his ways, but he insists on trying to help others (occasionally). It’s not going to help him. I think he’s also at the point where he believes it’ll never get better for him. It isn’t TRUE UGHHHHHHHHH. He needs to get better habits and leave what he’s doing rn. I know it’s easy to be attached to those things, but it is no good for him. If I sit down and talk with him about it, it’ll just be “Okay.” or “I’m fine.” God DAMN, Zero. WHY WON’T YOU LET ME FUCKING HELP YOU. He’s one of the only good things I even have in my life right now, and it’s eating me alive seeing him in a bad state. If it KILLS ME I will help that kid. I don’t even know. I think this post was just me rambling. Oh, and then there is Otto and my brother. I’m happy for them, I don’t know what to say. It’s strange seeing two people who I am (was?) extremely close with also start getting close to each other…I’m not jealous. It wasn’t healthy how I felt about Otto. It was obsessive, and I know that. I didn’t like it, and I still don’t. I think I’m getting better. No I’m not, I threatened to stab him yesterday. OH MY fucking GOD I NEED TO SHUT UP OR JUST KILL MYSELF. Im still better now, I think. It doesn’t hurt as much thinking about him and going long periods not talking with him. #healing!!!!!! But at the same time, it’s like the thought is always nagging me. Maybe this is the schizophrenia…I hallucinate stuff related to him a lot, I’ve attempted multiple times over this. That’s okay though, I’ll always have love for him. His happiness is just as important as mine, and if he’s happy with my brother, then that’s what matters. He’s still in my life that way, yeah….Yeah!!!!! Oh em gee!! So smart, Sera.’so fucking smart. I didn’t do my school work. Oopsie daises. Oh well. Oh well!!!! KODA. HIM HIM HIM. So many things to say!!! So much!!! Koda, sleep with one eye open! Don’t sleep at all actually! I never forget! I don’t EVER forget, actually! Remember that I always remember! Much love!

Moral of the post; it’ll never get better for me.

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

i am having a moment where i want a lot of people to die because i actually think they deserve that. i am trying not to think about it because it's just pissing me off that some people get to just live without experiencing any consequences for their actions. i know that what's probably going on with me is that i'm having a lot of built up hurt and now i'm projecting everything onto people who aren't actually *that bad* (fucking hurts to write lol i think they should die, but i'm trying to be dialectic here and not a spiteful little bitch lmfao)

i'm a trauma holder and a protector. my go-to stress response is fight. i think i need to find a good way to let off some steam without it overwhelming me. rn i'm trying writing ig. i need to learn how to process feelings so we don't dissociate and fragment even more

rn i'm trying to not indulge in homicidal ideation. i'm trying to not think about any specific people so i don't start obsessing over someone i might feel mad at rn. idk if this is just a DID thing or if we actually do have some PD after all, but man this brain is broken

i just feel trapped and like im getting treated like shit and that i want to let the world know they can't do that to me or other people i care about! i guess i will try to just go tf to bed because it's past 2 am now. but idk i'm trying to write some more shit down because it helps me reflect on shit and also helps being able to look back on later

anyway, i'm not a danger to anyone - including myself. i'm actually doing pretty well, which is why i can write this down lol. idk i'm gonna post my rambles to the void ig