#put a dick on it
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characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that
#tim drake#bruce wayne#can i just tag the entire batfam.... this applies to all of them i think#all of them deal with their issues by putting on spandex and beating up criminals. none of them are exempt from this post#let them make bad stupid inconsiderate decisions... its funny entertaining and free#batfamily#batfam#jason todd#dick grayson#batman#dc batman#dc comics#additionally:#arthur lester#john doe#malevolent john doe#martin blackwood#jonathan sims#tim stoker#sasha james#elias bouchard#peter lukas#tma#every tma character ever actually. they all suck soso bad ❤️️❤️️#melanie king#daisy tonner#basira hussain#georgie barker#can i tag bruce again. because like
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gotham rainy nights
i firmly believe in Duke doing silly things with his power
hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + bat-rain-poncho, several years later
#dc#i was spectacularly stressed out then i remember i had ibispaint installed#and i can always just put some little guys in situations#dc fanart#batfam#batman#robin#bruce wayne#dick grayson#damian wayne#jason todd#tim drake#stephanie brown#duke thomas#ft. 2 pixels of#cassandra cain#black bat#batgirl#spoiler#signal#red hood#red robin#anw hc: damian got sick for a week after being under the gotham rain for the first time
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While my mental picture of Gideon is different, remember: Tamsyn Muir specifically rejects the idea that her characters be forced into a single "look," or that one is more "correct" than others. She talks a lot in interviews about how she envisioned them, but she's also said that anyone who wants to imagine Naberius Tern as a monitor lizard is equally valid and right. (This is literally paraphrased from an interview!)
It's fun to play around putting real-world constraints on magical characters, but the moment you claim a character CAN'T be fat, or buff, or a specific ethnicity etc you're just saying you have no imagination. I see Gideon differently than OP. But I love their take on it! I want to see more of it! It doesn't personally affect me!!
(Also c'mon guys if you have such a visceral reaction to a character being portrayed as fat, or non-traditionally attractive, disabled, a POC or even just another type of ethnicity maybe you've got some biases to work out... these are made-up guys and it's okay to share.)
Otherwise you're just that bitch who kept stealing my Barbie when I was industriously scissoring her and Midge just to shove her under the one-armed Ken doll instead. Ken ain't the problem - you do you - but give me my gay ass Barbie back! She's busy!!
tumblr keeps putting posts on my dash about how it’s not “realistic” for Gideon to be fat/buff/fat+buff bc all the Ninth House eats is snow leeks and oatmeal
I’m so sorry, I can’t seem to hear you. I was too busy adding 20 pounds to her, as I do every time I hear this rancid opinion
#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon nav#character portrayal#fat is hot#buff is hot#even one armed Ken is hot#whatever floats your goat#who wants to look at the same thing over and over#gimme fat gimme muscles gimme stretch marks#gimme all shades of skin tones#put a dick on it#take a dick off it!!#you all can play barbie with me#theres plenty to go around
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Bruce: We're going to put everything we love in this box.
Jason: Can I put Dick in the box?
Bruce: no
Tim: Can I put Dick in the box?
Bruce: No.
Damian: Can I-
Bruce: NO YOU MAY NOT PUT DICK IN THE BOX!
Dick: *cries in My Brothers Just Admitted They Love Me*
#bruce also contemplated putting his kids in the box#jason todd#dick grayson#incorrect batfamily quotes#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#batfamily#bruce is so done
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Dick : Jasons been more, relaxed lately. It's unsettling.
Tim : Yeah, I've started spiking his water with mood stabilizers.
Dick : What
Tim : I've been thinking of doing it to the wider gotham water supply. Think about the crime rates.
#Im ngl. him disappearing in comics just to reappear and do wacky insane shit feels like hes going through the mother of all manic episodes#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#tim does not want to watch Jason put the batsuit on and try to convince some other poor soul to be his robin#red hood#batfam#CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG I DONT HAVE FAMILY / FRIENDS WITH MANIC EPISODES
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The idea that bodymod of all kinds from piercings and tattoos to gender-affirming care and amputations "goes against God's design" is such a fragile fucking take imo.
Like. Fuck, Brendine, you don't cut the moldy bit off a block of cheese? You don't spit out the bones when you eat fish? Do you never bake bread or cook food or chop off your hair? You just crawl around in a fig leaf bikini eating pine cones off the ground and shit in a hole?
Eve ate the apple already hon we ain't gonna undo that shit dressing like we're Children of the Corn
#Unless you DO follow that all-amish ass life#I respect you putting your money where your mouth is#But if you own a purse dog don't talk to me about defying God#Your pocket corgi is a hapsburg get off my dick about hair dye
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something there’s a distinct lack of in batman fanfics, especially ‘brucie wayne’ centred ones is the networking he’d have to be doing on the daily to maintain that sorta reputation
like, we all know the man knows how to throw a gala but where are the brunches? the happy hour gossip session with his cover’s clique of the week? the golf club dinners he has to attend every third week of the month? what about visits to hospitals or schools or the soup kitchens for his philanthropy? come on now
you’re telling me he’s the most sought after celebrity in gotham city and beyond, an infamous playboy and supposed extroverted people person who can use long holidays that can last weeks at a time away in tropical islands supposedly partying it up as a plausible excuse to hide his injuries sometimes but when he’s in gotham he’s either at wayne enterprise meetings or tucked away at home alone? nah
i want to see bruce having to really utilise those meditation breathing skills he learned in the league while he’s having to sit upright in a chair with 4 broken ribs, a sprained wrist and a minor concussion in a painfully bright restaurant at 3pm on a wednesday having to listen to bethany-anne titter on about the latest gossip about her neighbours affair with the maid that’s basically an open secret by now like pls there’s so many different routes you can go with this depending on the genre,,, make bruce have to REALLY commit to that cover of his lmao
#i just had to sit throygh a 6 hour long dinner for my dads company and decided to think about how many of these things#bruce has to put up with on the daily#make that man regret he chose the extroverted philanthropist cover every day of his life#while knowing it’s too late to back out now#dc#batman#bruce wayne#brucie wayne#batfam#superbat#batlantern#bruce x selina#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#teen wolf#damian wayne#red hood#robin#batfamily
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Jason: *terrified, thinks he's gonna die* Bruce: *used to carrying Dick around like a ferret* small child. so small.
#dc#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#batfam#bruce for the love of god thats not dick that child is afraid of u put him down#bruce vision: small angry chihuahua that needs cuddles. Jason vision: giant wolf about to eat him. Dick vision: two idiots.#i was trying to color this nicely but i lost patience so.#my art
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next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄
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#the batkids collectively: yeah bruce WISHES he were batman lol what a loser#bruce probably isnt on sns often so bro's completely oblivious to his children bullying him online#jason to dick later: ok but bruce had a point. why DIDNT you wanna put pants on the robin uniform#dick: you literally wore that same uniform after me i dont wanna hear it#batfamily#batfam#social media au#batkids#dick grayson#jason todd#cassandra cain#tim drake#stephanie brown#duke thomas#damian wayne#barbara gordon#bruce wayne#batman#dc comics#incorrect quotes#crack#texts#tweets#fanatical posting
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put dick on a team and trust he will make sure they can perform as an acrobat troop
#fab five you will always be famous#theyre my little guys ever#dick grayson#donna troy#wally west#garth of shayeris#roy harper#fab five#dc#dc comics#putting everyone in random ass colors cause why not#casual work out wear am i right or am i right#IK dick was screaming cheering applauding as soon as donna was good enough to do crazy shit#her super strength and flying? oh what a partner to have#oh wait context. speedy wasnt a member yet in the circus issue so he wouldnt be in on the acrobat shit#he joined later#titans#teen titans
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Superman: I haven’t seen you at the watchtower for a while. Where have you been the last few weeks, Batman?
Bruce: Rehab.
Superman, worriedly: Oh, I’m so sorry- I never knew you struggled with that. If you don’t mind me asking, what for?
Bruce, grimacing as he watches public footage of Signal and Red Hood starting a dumpster fire out of Pro-Joker merch: ..adoption.
#‘bruce wayne is a bad dad’ ‘bruce wayne is a good parent!!’ NO. Bruce Wayne is a wine mom#he has tacky 2000’s beige signs around the house that his kids beg him to take down#wine. sleep. vigilante. repeat!!#jason steals them and puts them in Tim’s CEO office#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#superman#clark kent#justice league#batman and robin#robin#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE DYNAMIC DUO MOVIE#duke thomas#signal#signal dc#red hood#batkids#hes proud but can’t condone this or else it’ll turn into Duke and Jason burning down entire warehouses next#rehab was Alfred making him sit through lectures on communication
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the question, you see, is not ‘is it too ooc for this character to cry’ but rather ‘what circumstances would push this character to cry’
this is the whump wisdom, go forth and make that character cry
#gav gab#‘it’s sooooooo ooc to make that character cry’ no you see I think it is ooc#to put this character through absolute unimaginable hell physically and emotionally#and NOT let them cry about it#sometimes canon framing and media format and genre#limit the ability to let a character emotionally Feel all the insanely traumatic shit that’s happened to them#that doesn’t mean that in a different medium or genre exploring these things#it would be ooc for them to do so#send tweet. let those characters feel and emote. it’s not ooc or cringe and anyone who tells you it is is a reductive dick
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Baby Dick Grayson as Robin meets the League and they're all gobsmacked at how Batman, who has an emotional range that goes from cynical wet blanket to unstoppable force of nature, has such a seemingly normal and happy kid.
"He must get it from his mom." Green Lantern said, trying to build some kind of rapport. "She approve of you running around beating up bad guys, little man?"
"My mom is dead," Dick replied and Green Lantern paled.
"Oh that's uh--"
"It happened right in front of us." Dick continued conversationally, gesturing to himself and Bruce.
The rest of the League start frantically signalling to Hal without using words, abort! Abort!
#i love putting Hal in situations#justice league#hal jordan#bruce wayne#dick grayson#robin dick grayson#dc comics#jl#watchtower shenanigans
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i think one of my favourite parts about the "Jason has an army of kids in Crime Alley that will do anything to protect their protector" HC is that they absolutely would inherit all of his 'little shit' traits. they'd throw the other Bats off course on purpose. Dick, trying to find Jay: Have you seen Hood, by any chance? Kid: Sure I did. 'e's gone to the ice-cream store down in th'Narrows. He buys us ice-cream, sometimes. Dick: okay, thanks kid! (backflips away) Dick: Dick: there's no ice-cream store near the Narrows. Tim, just walking by Crime Alley: The kids, throwing rocks at him while Jason watches in amusement:
#batfam#batman#jason todd#dick grayson#they'd also put stickers on his helmet sometimes#he pretends not to know#he's just as intimidating w them i promise you#dick: do u get along with jason kiddos#tim: no they bit my ankles once. they're funny tho#tim drake
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Batkids do a "hear me out" cake:
Tim: *Puts Talia to annoy Damien*
Damien: *Starts yelling at Tim while everyone else is trying not to laugh*
Jason: *Mentally freaking out while trying his hardest to act along with the bit*
#dick broke the tension by putting the number 9 on the cake next#dc#dc comics#dcu#batfam#dc universe#batman#batman wayne family adventures#jason todd#wayne family adventures#tim drake#damian wayne#redhood#red hood#red robin#robin#i don't like that this is canon but it unfortunately is
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Halloween AU!!!
hey so. i put SOOOOO much effort into this au and for what? at least it ended up looking cool? anyways Halloween is my favorite holiday and i just HAD to make something for them!
i had a LOT of ideas for what everyone would be, but i really wanted to stick to a certain theme cause it's based around Halloween. i knew i had to have a vampire, werewolf, and a witch. cause like... obviously. iconic Halloween stuff!! but i took some liberties with everyone else and i think they turned out pretty cool!!
Jason was originally a fox shifter (which i still love and might draw art for some day) but i went with a bear in the end. is that because i thought about tiny bear cub Jaybin and wanted to cry? yeah. yeah it is. i KNEW Steph was going to be my werewolf though i started doubting myself when i went to draw her. turned out to be my favorite drawing on here which makes sense cause she is my light my love my daughter my will to live and all that jazz
Tim was actually gonna be a harpy but thank god i didn't go for that in the end. Duke was the one that was a bitch and a half trying to figure out BUT!! comments on the post asking what y'all thought led me towards Psychic so THANK YOUUUU everybody that commented!! (specifically those who thought of ghost!! Duke and Tim ended up being a perfect duo in this au)
Babs was pretty easy to figure out what I wanted for her. I read somewhere that they are seen as protectors of forests/ are considered spiritual authority figures and also.... she looks cool as fuck. Did not expect how easy it was to find a ref for a deer in a wheelchair though? I can never find the right hand or face angle reference but that was super easy???
For Bruce there was literally no question he HAD to be human. it's literally so funny that everyone who knows Batman thinks he's a spooky vampire but he's human. his first son, however?????? THAT'S the vampire. I knew Dick had to be a vampire too. A little nod towards that one comic run but in my au nothing bad happens ever 🥰 Damian also being a bat shifter is very on purpose because how funny is it that he's a bat man. Literally not a single person in the League thinks that Bruce is telling the truth about being human. Bruce you are NOT beating the secretly a vampire allegations.
adding in Jay's hilarious joke it's so fucking funny:
Alfred is actually a demon. I CAN NOT remember who made this post so if someone can help me find it, it would be appreciated!! because this was inspired by them!!! but somewhere i saw someone talk about Alfred being a demon that Thomas and Martha made a deal with (i think it was for an au idea?) and I just HAD to put it here. Alfred looks so human and everyone expects it, but he's definitely not. I put the ??? because it's so fucking funny. see if you can spot the 1 hint i put on his drawing that something is amiss!!
Peter is from an alternate dimension still, but it is not a world of creatures like him, it's just the same as LoF canon except Peter grew some extra limbs and eyes. He finds that it's actually pretty easy to fit in with the Waynes. Hard to feel like a freak when a guy can turn into a fucking bear, or your dad is a vampire, and the teenagers in the family are trying to summon ghosts or make potions.
additional doodles for this au:
i am still debating whether i am going to draw something for this au or write a oneshot, but i DO want to do something with these for Halloween
#(putting a hypnosis thingmabob in front of you)#oooooo you don't notice i forgot peter's tooth gap in the character design sheets#oooooo#you're getting veryyy sleepy and so you don't notice#listen he was the last one i drew and i worked on this for 9 hours#halloween au#halloween#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#peter parker#leap of faith catch me if you can#leap of faith#thank you for the ask!#dick grayson#bruce wayne#jason todd#tim drake#steph brown#cassandra cain#duke thomas#babs gordon#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth#batfamily#batfam#art#character design#character illustration
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