#psychology of hoarding
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man it feels hopeless sometimes cleaning your room when you have hoarding tendencies. hoarding has so much shame around it so you know you have to beat it before it gets bad but it’s Always Bad
#and knowing where it’s from. like genetically and psychologically is even worse#ever.txt#actually was just thinking i get it from my mom and then googled if there’s an inattentive type ADHD-hoarding link. and welp
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Woke up from my little power outage nap and couldn’t even manage to eat a full box of macked cheese, grad school will fuck you up for life kids, do it at your own risk.
#my stuff#i don’t like to admit it but i’ve developed a complicated relationship with food#i’m a rational person i know food is important and i feel hunger and when i do i want to eat#but due to the hassle of meal prep and my tight finances i basically only eat one meal a day at the end and use coffee to power through#often until like 6pm#which i know is not good in a general or transition sense#and when i was first starting to fall into this pattern i would eat A TON at night to make up for it#but sometime during my grief in march n april i developed#a psychological difficulty with finishing food. like executive dysfunction and insecurity hoarding combined#and also i sometimes get nauseous midway through eating#or rapidly feel full after being doubled over from hunger cramps and then hungry again an hour later#and above all else it’s annoying bc its subconscious or physiological and it makes it hard to overcome#and even if i was provided 3 meals a day i’d probably struggle to stomach eating that freq in any significant amount#i feel like when my stomach is empty it tries to quasi hibernate until last minute and then goes ravenous#much like me emotionally but that’s a different tag rant#anyways another complication is ‘sleep for dinner’ right when i get home which fucks up my eating AND sleep schedule#all this bullshit when i’m a scientist who has taken metabolism classes and knows my body is getting wrecked from this#so i’m guilty as fuck abt it🙂↕️
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#tgcf#mdzs#writing attempts#bless me heavens with time to write and less psychological dread so i can do it#yes i know i have like 3 more wips i owe yall on top of All The Other Unfinished Part 2s#but i hoard wips like a dragon hoards gold
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thinkin again about the time elyss's DM cut in to stop a conversation between her and a semi-retired player character to hurriedly take back control of him as an NPC before he could give her, as an extremely kind and thoughtful gift, one of his own personal belongings, and then said 'elyss can probably buy it from him though :)' instead
like. what an egregiously fucking shitty thing to do, actually.
#I think we were caught SO offguard that neither of us was able to articulate a good resistance although we both tried#eldryn's player: ...I mean... he WAS going to just give it to her#DM: haha well I don't wanna just give you guys too much stuff [???]#me: I mean-- you JUST gave us like? ten thousand gold and a castle that we didn't even ask for ......?#I HAVE the money [2000g????] and I don't actually care about losing it but.............???#DM: yeah so I just feel like I've already given you guys a lot lately#WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID WAS: THAT WAS A GIFT BETWEEN CHARACTERS NOT 'THE DM GIVING US TOO MUCH'.#WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID WAS 'YOU ARE CHANGING A KIND GESTURE FROM A GOODHEARTED MAN INTO A CRAVEN EXPLOITATION OF ELYSS FOR MONEY.'#WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID WAS 'TAKING OVER A PLAYER CHARACTER IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ELYSS TO HAVE A THING#'IS AN ABUSE OF DM POWER AND AN EGREGIOUS BREACH OF DM/ PLAYER TRUST.'#WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAID WAS 'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE AGAINST ELYSS AND/OR ME PERSONALLY.'#and like. the actual consequences are so small. we were in a between-arcs timeskip we had BBEG Treasure Hoard money#Elyss loses 2000g and doesn't even miss it. Eldryn being a good friend IS canon and the DM can suck my dick about it#but on principle. on principle the fact that he did that. that is so incredibly shitty. you don't see that?#and for what? over an arbitrary price tag that I could afford without even missing it anyway?#over a magic item that's more psychological security blanket than anything particularly overpowered?#over powerplay dick waving over who REALLY gets to control Eldryn now that he's technically been retired as a PC?#what?? what is the reason??? ALL it accomplished was a fucking character assassination of a sweetheart character#which I think we've all privately decided didn't actually happen anyway because it's stupid and terrible and not fair of DM to Just Decide#and my already pretty flimsy trust in my friend as a DM sinking to unforeseen new lows#god. god.#about me#my OCs#elyss
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I actually hate Hoarders (the tv show) so fucking much. Because 1) it pokes a camera in the faces of disabled people and wants us to nod along as it says "isn't this unbelievably disgusting?" And 2) every person who hangs on to anything beyond the most bare necessity for life is always saying shit like "I'm a bit of a hoarder. I hold onto old bits and bobs that might be useful one day."
Like I can not keep having the conversation when I try to explain to people that keeping hold of an old charger that questionably works is not the same as having a debilitating mental disorder and even if it was you do not need to make light of it nor apologize for it. Especially not to me your random coworker.
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I know I keep mentioning "oh yeah, as a dragon I was very aggressive/protective and territorial, but keep forgetting until it hits me" but it never ceases to be true
I've been playing VRchat and recently (re)discovered a dragon(ish) avatar with wings for hands. It's great for so many reasons (wings are 100% autistic culture)! But.
You know how people talk about wing hugs all the time? I never really got it. I mean. Yeah, I did to a certain extent - I wanted to wrap my wings around those I care about, and cover them up. Hold my spouse under my wings while we sleep. I guess, in a way, shield them from the world (which, uh, should've already been a warning sign?)
But now? Having wings for hands? Where they're more accessible? I'm suddenly filled with protection I didn't realize I had. All I want to do is hold the people I care about as close to me as possible, keep them under my wings. They're not allowed to leave, random people can't just come over - I have to hold and protect them and shield them from everything. If I could growl and bite and swat away others I would. Ready at the smallest notice to spread my wings wide in threat- "Get away from them"
I can't tell if it's misdirected territorial or hoarding instinct but damn. Did not realize it was that strong.
#dragonkin#otherkin#it's only for like. 3 people#i *do* let them go obviously jsjfj and if they have friends or whatever they're allowed too#the instinct just. isn't as strong for them?#like. I'm not holding anyone hostage or anything - XD#idk what it is about having people under my wings that's immediately 'must protect' but APPARENTLY there's SOMETHING#hoarding is especially funny if so bc i still. have no idea what/if i actually hoarded but apparently i have that 'instinct' so here we are#guys is it a crime to hoard people you care about? jtndndj#tbh it could just me being overprotective and feel like i finally have a way to do it? (y'know psychological/trauma whatever)#or. all of the above? idk
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Book of the Day -
Today’s Book of the Day is The 7 deadly sins of Psychology, written by Chris Chambers in 2017 and published by Princeton University Press. Chris Chambers is a professor of cognitive neuroscience in the School of Psychology at Cardiff University and a contributor to the Guardian science blog network. His research focuses on how the human brain supports cognition and he is also interested in the…
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#bias#Book#Book Of The Day#book recommendation#book review#Chris Chambers#Corruptibility#Data Hoarding#Psychology#Raffaello Palandri#Research#Statistics#Unreliability
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it is nuts to me how often people praise going to therapy and 'i have been with my therapist for years!' as if in order to make this living less miserable we have to pay someone to listen to you... until you die i guess. doesn't that make you mad??? how much this world sucks and you have to do so much just to survive and the toll it takes on your health is always painted as your own problem... if not even your own fault! you have to fix yourself while the world will continue to go to shite. too many therapists are terrible at their job, face little to none criticism... while people with real trauma from bad experience get written off as stubborn and unreasonable. comments such as 'you just don't want to get better' 'you gave up on yourself' 'you want to keep acting like a victim' are messed up. i don't want to live in a world that burns and being blamed for not thriving in a society that doesn't want to do much about mentally ill people but make crude jokes, overmedicare them and ostracize them because being weak is your own doing. there are bigger issues causing more and more people to Lose It but those issues are never addressed and sometimes some people get paid to keep them going
#all psychologists (i use pólish terminology) i went to were completely shite and detached from reality because their private practice#made them shitton of money and they would talk to me like i'm a pest#0 strategy 0 any sort of plan#some of them didn't take notes and would forget what's my main psychological condition ... they didn't care#it was a chat with a 'friend' like last time i went to therapy i would spend time explaining how home appliances work#not even one of them was concerned abt hoarding
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heinouslydedicated -> bensonnstabler
my desire to have an aesthetically pleasing canonical(ish) url hath won me over once more
#new tags:#bswrites#bsgifs#aboutbensonnstabler#brought to you by the psychological warfare that was the 2012-15 tumblr era that perpetuated canon url hoarding
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See now this is the kind of quality content I'm looking for
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does anyone else feel like they’ve never been not stressed out??
like idk…I’ve been chronically stressed since I became conscious. I grew up in an incredibly stressful environment. ever since I moved out I’ve been stressed about school or work or housing or just finding food . There is always something. I’ve never had a break from stress that lasted longer than a day or two. does anyone else relate? what am I supposed to do about this
#not to trauma dump [voice of a guy who’s abt to trauma dump in the tags] but#growing up under incredible stress has probably fucked me up forever so idk what to do anymore#constant screaming/fighting and like not a lot but sometimes domestic violence#also like. being incredibly poor. and living in a hoarder house#animal hoarding#being incredibly medically and emotionally and otherwiseneglected#alongside neglected animals. dealing with unresolved flea infestations#forcibly enrolled into advanced academic stuff and unable to drop out even when my mental health could not take it#like it literally took an emergency room visit to convince my mom to let me drop out and even then I had to spend months playing catch up b#something they don’t tell you about trying to kys and going to a ward is most of your teachers won’t excuse ur missing work or care at all#also got outed to my mom by the mental hospital#sorry to trauma dump I just idk. my life sucks lol and no therapist I’ve ever gone to has actually cared or listened to everything I’ve bee#thruough#oh and I got groomed. awesomesauce#then graduated hs during 2020 right at the beginning of the pandemic 💔#a couple years go by bc I’m too busy with my coworkers raging psychological warfare on me lol and my ex roommate trying to kick us out#then just starting college while working thank god I was able to move out and my mom moved back to Kentucky#but now I am just starving and I no longer have food stamps and idk I just 💔 working and going to college is so hard and I’m not even full#time if either rn#but I also fell out with literally my only close friend recently so yea.#life just feels like one big test that I keep failing over and over again#like idk how am I supposed to be normal or live a normal life after all I’ve been through. I’ve seen enough!!#the world just has always and continues to look so bleak and cruel to me#idk. idk.#maybe I’m just doomed by the narrative#trauma dumping#vent#.txt#typing it all out and reading it like this makes me idk. it doesn’t look so bad when I reread it like I think I’m just being dramatic idk#ripping out mt hair I just want to be normal
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"Hoarders" - Season 12 Episode 8
Terrific example of how this show's ass is completely backwards. Yes, this was a "tough client." Which is all the more reason to reconsider your strategies. What was the big success? So easy for me to predict. It was showing her what the fuck a clean kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom look like.
I've been working on this exact area recently. Get them caught up in the most essential areas: kitchen, bathroom, bedroom-- and they will be far more ready and able to engage with the rest. That was where everything fell down. When hygiene, eating, and rest become difficult, everything else becomes impossible. Getting those three back makes life possible again, delightful even.
Instead, they jump in with, "Were taking all your shit away." They're not actually ready, nor are they properly motivated. The psychologists (if that's truly what they are) have really no understanding of motivation or any depth of the psychological features of these people. I guarantee the vast majority of hoarders have ADHD. Over 70%. The processing differences. Executive function. Decisions. Sorting. Tasking. Time management. Impulse control. Distraction. Emotional regulation. It's ALL there.
So, well. There's surface level motivation, and there's deep motivation. IDK if it's like that for neurotypicals. But superficial motivation is so fucking broke-ass. I'm not even motivated by money, when it comes down to it. And that is a real fucking problem, as I hope you can imagine.
Look, we're not an easy tribe to understand. We've been a mystery ever since we thought it was a good idea (it wasn't) to stop hunting and gathering. There was no such thing as "laziness" until it turned out there were some folks who didn't like the monotony of farming. Go figure, can you imagine? It's the disconnection from the results. It may as well be a bureaucratic dystopia.
"So how long until all this becomes food?"
"Oh, months."
"Fuck. This. Bullshit. Hey, there's a squirrel right over there. Lookit 'em, just eatin' some nuts."
"You gonna go eat nuts? LOL."
"Maybe I'll go kill a couple squirrels, take their nuts, and eat all of it."
"Cool, just keep over there, thanks."
"Oh... I'll be back (for you later)."
"What?"
"Bye bitches!"
#hunter gatherer#that's how it is the way it is#hoarders#hoarding#psychology#gratification#impulse#executive dysfunction#neurodivergent#mental health#adhd#neurotype#crisis#tasks
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KSDJFH your scarlet tags on my tag game are cracking me up. As far as redstone machinery goes, I feel like she would 100% be somebody to troll servers by building elaborate lag machines to lag everybody out. So nefarious of her!!
I'm so glad!! Thank you, yes this is it. You Get It. This is a woman who exists to cause problems on purpose, and she would come up with the most unapologetically ridiculous lag machines known to man.
Your Minecraft server will die to the sound of 10,000 bees spawning simultaneously, and the laughter of an ex-supervillainess who just managed to commit a 'murder' without violating the terms of her parole. Even so, do not fear; your server may be dead, but its memory will live forever in the server crash compilation video she just posted to the Asuranet Holotube server. She's gonna be making ad revenue off that for years to come. Thanks for helping fund her next totally-not-evil scheme! (Shh, don't tell the Commander.)
She was also caught trying to get into Saoirse's Pokemon save files once, and was promptly warned 'If you delete my saves, I'll tell all the gamers where your secret lair is.' Scarlet never touched them again.
#answered ask#thank you so much for the ask!!#for real tho this woman wakes up every morning and chooses (psychological) violence#Regrowth AU is some kind of thing that exists and to this day i do not know if it is serious or a shitpost#2 years has not helped me classify it in any way whatsoever#anyway! welcome to my blog where i talk almost exclusively in the tags and hoard all my meta commentary then never share any of it#(note: none of this is technically canon to Regrowth AU... unless i actually finish the ask blog and someone gives them games.)#(let's get real if someone did that i'd probably allow it just because it's funny)
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these whole tags by @dreamofme9
you know what I (maybe a tad delusionally) believe to be a trademark louis lie by omission? the "I have neglected my duties and the house fell in disrepair" in ep5. like. the phrasing implies that the house is Like That because louis stopped cleaning, but it doesn't make sense to me that out of the two of them louis would be the househusband in the first place? (I know. race. but then out of all choices made regarding that aspect of their dynamic this one is the most shallow). like, louis is the one who always had servants in the house. this man would not be the naturally-good-at-chores type.
anyway what I'm saying is: both of them have been depressed as FUCK during these years, and lestat wasn't just upset louis didn't want to fuck him. what I would love to see in lestat's account of the events is just. him fucking ruined when claudia leaves. some good old parallels between claudia and gabrielle. him taking a firm "she is not coming back, better deal with it" stance because it's less painful than the alternative ("I miss her, I want her to come back, why does she not come back"), him spiraling further because louis is distancing himself from him too, etc, etc, etc. in conclusion: I think we don't talk about lestat literally dropping a "maybe I should kill myself" mid conversation enough
#i really want to see this in his POV#like other said his house was fine when louis hadn't moved in#from all the many episodes of hoarders i watched#when someone living with them let them to hoard#very probably they also need psychological help#lestat de lioncourt#loustat#interview with the vampire#iwtv
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tw - implied non/con, mentions of physical/psychological abuse, obsessive behavior, delusional thoughts, and kidnapping.
Alhaitham is strict.
He's a man of science. He believes that obedience is something that has to be trained, not taught, and that the only way to properly train any thinking, breathing creature is through the continuous and uniform use of punishment to discourage undesired behavior and with-holding of reward until desired behavior is not only seen, but repeated. His rules are firm and unchanging, and when he catches you, say, hoarding mora underneath a lose floorboard or trying to mail a letter of poorly coded pleas for help to a former peer, he feels no guilt as he wrestles you over his knee and delivers a strike for each spare coin he found in your little collection, each word you wasted on someone other than your loving caretaker. He values your intelligence, and that's why he knows you can live up to his suffocating, but not particularly high expectations. He's strict, but really, it's for your own good.
Kaveh is soft.
As soft as crushed velvet and flower petals and down-stuffed pillows. As soft as crumpled silk and grass on a warm day and his heart, whenever you thread your fingers through his and ask so prettily for him to let you go. His greatest in the world is to make you happy, and it pains him to know that, so long as he continues to be so selfish with your affection, you won't be. He'd do anything for you - bring you gems and flowers from each distant corner of the world, dedicate himself entirely to your every whim and desire, carve his own heart from his chest and lay it at your feet - but he knows you truly want is out of his reach. Kaveh is soft - soft enough that, no matter how much it hurts him to see you suffering, he knows the pain of letting you go would destroy him entirely.
Cyno is sweet.
Even if he will admit to taking a certain amount of satisfaction bringing the cruel blade of justice down on those who've earned it most, he's not a sadist, and you've done little in your life to deserve anyone's cruelty. When he does have to hurt you, it's done with remorse, and when he has no reason to, he does not often pretend he has any desire to find one. His affection is silent, but sickeningly apparent. It's expressed through rose blossoms left on your bedside table, trinkets that made him think of you tucked into the pockets of your clothes, the phantom of his lips against your neck - never quite making contact but never drifting away, either. He holds you when you cry, despite being the reason for your distress, and when you beg him for space, he never seems to go very far. He's sweet, even if the tenderness of his love is lost on you.
Tighnari is subtle.
He knows who he is. He knows how he feels about you. He knows that, if he were to chain you up in his hut and do every terrible thing he's imagined, it'd be less than a full hour until you were liberated from his loving embrace and his head was liberated from his shoulders. He has to be more careful than that, more discrete, even if it means spending the better part of one of his few days off piecing together a mix of herbs and serums tasteless enough to be slipped into water and strong enough to ensure you won't wake up the first time he drives his fangs into your skin. Even his more daring moments are limited to a hand ghosted over the small of your back, a strange insistence that he should be the one to look after you when your strange, unnamable illness resurfaces and you inevitably need a professional's time and care. He's subtle - so much so that even you won't know just much he's willing to do to love you.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#genshin impact#genshin impact imagines#yandere genshin impact#genshin x reader#yandere alhaitham#alhaitham x reader#yandere kaveh#kaveh x reader#yandere cyno#cyno x reader#yandere tighnari#tighnari x reader
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"Hoarders: Woman Hoards Her House With STOLEN Items | A&E"
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#hoarding#hoarders#lifestyle#real life#daily life#life#home & lifestyle#home#mental wellness#mental illness#mental health#mental heath support#reality tv#tv series#tv#a&e#psychology#property management#real estate#realestate#Youtube#family#mental wellbeing#documenting life#homedecor#cleaning#united states
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