#oh and I got groomed. awesomesauce | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nappingpaperclip · 11 months ago

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does anyone else feel like they’ve never been not stressed out??

like idk…I’ve been chronically stressed since I became conscious. I grew up in an incredibly stressful environment. ever since I moved out I’ve been stressed about school or work or housing or just finding food . There is always something. I’ve never had a break from stress that lasted longer than a day or two. does anyone else relate? what am I supposed to do about this

#not to trauma dump [voice of a guy who’s abt to trauma dump in the tags] but #growing up under incredible stress has probably fucked me up forever so idk what to do anymore #constant screaming/fighting and like not a lot but sometimes domestic violence #also like. being incredibly poor. and living in a hoarder house #animal hoarding #being incredibly medically and emotionally and otherwiseneglected #alongside neglected animals. dealing with unresolved flea infestations #forcibly enrolled into advanced academic stuff and unable to drop out even when my mental health could not take it #like it literally took an emergency room visit to convince my mom to let me drop out and even then I had to spend months playing catch up b #something they don’t tell you about trying to kys and going to a ward is most of your teachers won’t excuse ur missing work or care at all #also got outed to my mom by the mental hospital #sorry to trauma dump I just idk. my life sucks lol and no therapist I’ve ever gone to has actually cared or listened to everything I’ve bee #thruough #oh and I got groomed. awesomesauce #then graduated hs during 2020 right at the beginning of the pandemic 💔#a couple years go by bc I’m too busy with my coworkers raging psychological warfare on me lol and my ex roommate trying to kick us out #then just starting college while working thank god I was able to move out and my mom moved back to Kentucky #but now I am just starving and I no longer have food stamps and idk I just 💔 working and going to college is so hard and I’m not even full #time if either rn #but I also fell out with literally my only close friend recently so yea.#life just feels like one big test that I keep failing over and over again #like idk how am I supposed to be normal or live a normal life after all I’ve been through. I’ve seen enough!!#the world just has always and continues to look so bleak and cruel to me #idk. idk.#maybe I’m just doomed by the narrative #trauma dumping #vent #.txt #typing it all out and reading it like this makes me idk. it doesn’t look so bad when I reread it like I think I’m just being dramatic idk #ripping out mt hair I just want to be normal

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