#much like me emotionally but that’s a different tag rant

[transmechanicus]

Woke up from my little power outage nap and couldn’t even manage to eat a full box of macked cheese, grad school will fuck you up for life kids, do it at your own risk.

[vvhorebound]

sex & me have not been getting along recently

[megaderping]

Saw a rather mean post last night, and genuinely, I do not understand how people can play Persona 5 (particularly Royal), and come out thinking Akechi genuinely hates Joker when Morgana outright states for the audience, "You don't really hate Joker, do you?" Akechi laments how they didn't meet a few years earlier and how they could've been "great rivals, perhaps even friends." o_O Like... is this a vanilla thing? I genuinely don't get it. The interrogation room wasn't even his idea (SIU director mentions as much). It's not even about the ship- the game spells out that their bond is more complex, and it just so happens that a lot of people like to explore it as one. Even as platonic, tho, there's a shit ton of depth. Idk, any time I see discourse (especially people making fun of Shuake fans and stuff), I just question how many people actually paid attention to the dialogue. Even the "I hate you speech" reads as him being extremely emotionally constipated and conflicted. Plus, y'know...

Very hateful. Sure. :p Idk, maybe certain playthroughs of the game remove all those moments where the game spells out that they have a special bond (Maruki even states it isn't based on hatred, but that's only if you get his third awakening). Just wish people would get off their high horses, if anything. Sometimes I see people get really condescending about liking Akechi or liking Shuake, and like... just block the tags if you don't like these things instead of posting untagged ship/character bashing and making fun of fans? At least have the decency to tag it as something that Shuake fans can filter because some of those posts are really mean-spirited. :/ You think we haven't heard it all before? I may be new to the fandom, but I have heard that this BS has been going on for years.

I don't think it really matters if there are "healthier" ship options because some of us prefer the messiness, the depth, and complexity. It's not for everyone, and I respect favoring more straightforwardly sweet and wholesome dynamics or wishing your favorite pair got more spotlight. I'm a Riku and Kairi shipper in Kingdom Hearts, for crying out loud. :P I get it, but you're not gonna win anyone over to your side by telling them that [insert ship here] is better. In my case, it makes me more averse because of how deeply their relationship in the confidant, engine room, and third sem touched me and seeing people go "yeah, but you are wrong for feeling that way, THIS is better" is just... yeah. :/ (Also, people gotta learn the difference between hitmen and serial killers. Akechi is the former, which I've ranted about before, but yeah.)

So many fandom problems could be solved if people didn't take the piss out of others for shipping something they don't personally like. x_x; By all means, feel the way you feel, it's okay to not like things.

[jacarandaaaas]

I notice how (most of) the fandom likes to pin Mirabel as motherly but...Camilo's right there. I can see him getting strict when he needs to be or blurts out the right advice at the right time...which literally shocks everyone when he does but still. In other words, he's the "mom/dad" friend that everybody needs at the right time.

He takes care of kids all day + Is a natural caretaker like Julieta is. We don't know much of his personality other than "mischievous" but taking care of kids from an early age can surely make someone responsible and mature overtime.

Mirabel isn't the town babysitter; she has her own things going on. And I know she loves kids and all, but she strikes more as an older sister/ "aunt who gives you the candy you aren't supposed to have" kind of gal than a motherly type. Don't get me wrong, I honestly think she's good with advice too, but Camilo comes in a close second.

Yet, there's literally a tag on ao3 that's "Mirabel Madrigal acting as Antonio Madrigal's parental figure" that belongs to 94 fics. It's not a lot but still.

I'm okay with it being an au and all, have your fun, but Camilo takes care of kids on a regular basis. Shouldn't he be the one that's seen as parental?

It would be funny to see the slacker get fed up with someone's antics and start scolding like a parent would. I'm sure when it happens it makes the person do a double take because it's not something he does often. Rarely even.

So, when it does happen, it's shocking.

It would be nice to have Camilo be painted as someone who is emotionally mature. Maybe not to the extent of Mirabel, but like I said, he takes care of children. That has to make someone emotionally mature to some extent.

It would be nice to see Camilo not painted as a jerk for once. Sure, he's incredibly blunt but not a jerk! And yes, he's a teen boy, he's going to feel emotions like one, but we SAW him giving tea to his mom when she was freaking out.

Not jerk teenager would do that unless they were forced too. Camilo isn't forced, he wants his mama to be calm so SHE can feel a little better. We can see that by the way he's talking to her.

It would be hilarious to see Camilo using a chancla on someone (maybe a bully who's harassing Mirabel) and ending it with-

"AND DON'T THINK YOUR PARENTS WON'T HEAR ABOUT THIS!"

Sorry for the rant, I didn't intend for it to get that long.

anon you are speaking my language!! I’ve talked about my dislike for parentified mirabel before so it’s nice to see I’m not alone on that!

camilo definitely has a more nurturing side and we see it as early as the opening song! Whilst I wouldn’t go as far to say he acts like a parent he definitely knows how to discipline children and is just naturally good at dealing with them! I would love to see more content that talks about how caring camilo is (I am sick of the jerk camilo thing he’s not heartless guys!) I can definitely see him as more experienced with kids than mirabel as he’s the babysitter she’s more just the fun one who hangs around with them! it’s a very different dynamic as we don’t really see mirabel necessarily looking after kids only entertaining them! As for your point on camilo being emotionally mature I would have to agree! the mothers wouldn’t trust him with their kids if they thought he would be irresponsible! he definitely knows how to scold them even if it’s surprising when it happens! I’m glad you mentioned the tea scene, as I think it shows a different side to camilo! he is caring and he’s good at comforting people! he isn’t gonna try make a situation worse he cares about his mother and wants to assure her! and I hate when people use that scene against pepa too! it is normal to make your mother tea weirdos!!! I love that scene despite how brief it is and we see glimpses of that side of camilo in the comics too!

As for mirabel 100% agree! she definitely strikes me as someone the kids would view as the cool older best friend much more than a parental figure. They don’t want to make her mad because in their eyes she’s cool! she’s fun and entertaining and they don’t want to make her mad! it’s not the case of a parent where it’s they know they’ll get in trouble for it! that’s partly what inspired my camp counselor au lmao! the fact mirabel is so good with kids in a way she makes them feel validated she doesn’t reprimand them she is someone they view as a friend! The mirabel is antonios mother fic genre is one I completely avoid i love their relationship because she is so much more of an older sister figure to him! I’ve said before I don’t like these fics so I tend to avoid them even if I don’t really read fics anymore lmao!

but I agree with most of your points! camilo is always seen as the fun one whilst mirabel is the parental one when in canon it’s the other way around! that’s not to say camilo isn’t fun because he absolutely is but we see him actually babysitting we see mirabel just hanging out with kids for fun! what I really need to see is mirabel and camilo as a babysitting duo that would be so fun!! both of them are 15 and deserve to have fun!! let mirabel have fun!! I would love to see more stuff involving camilos nurturing side for sure though!

[greatqueenanna]

What do you think of those videos on YouTube that bad mouths Frozen/Frozen 2 (ex: Frozen is a Pathetic Mess. Frozen 2 is a Pathetic Sequel. Frozen 2 is a Mess etc?) and how do I a fan of both Frozen & the Sequel deal with it?

Everyone is allowed to have their opinions of art, and if someone doesn't like Frozen, F2 or both, that is fine. They can absolutely say and create whatever they want.

I do think however that if someone has a video with the word 'pathetic' or 'mess' in the title, they're obviously doing it for click bait; not because they actually want to have a genuine discussion about the films. It automatically makes me not want to see the video. That's just me though.

The best way to deal with criticism for something you like that means a lot to you, is to not take it personally.

I completely understand and know the pain of seeing a video or reading a take that makes you frustrated, and it sits with you for the rest of the day and ruins it. In this case, you basically just need to accept that people have different tastes, and just because they might've said something that is wrong or just frustrating, doesn't really take away what the franchise has done for you.

The films are still there for you to enjoy whenever you want, and there are plenty of fans to discuss the films in a way that makes you happy - and maybe even openly and comfortably discuss any flaws you might've had issues with the franchise without feeling like the thing you love is being attacked.

This leads into to the second thing you need to do - knowing your limits.

If you do not feel like you can emotionally handle something you love being criticized, and do not want to engage with that type of discussion, then take steps to avoid this as much as possible. Block users and tags, tell YouTube to stop recommending certain types of videos or creators. Make your space a place where you can enjoy what you love in a way that makes you happy, not frustrated.

Yes, as mentioned, people can discuss art in any way they like. However, you also have the freedom to disregard them.

Now, if you do get the itch and want to respond to the criticism, and feel like you can handle it in a way that is respectful, then I recommend not doing it right away.

Take a deep breath, walk away from the post/video, and gather your thoughts and emotions first. That way you don't say or do something you later regret, or engage yourself in a discussion you really didn't want to have in the first place, but now you're in a full on debate and you don't know how to get out of it.

I've made the mistake of creating rant posts while I was angry and saying/doing things that were not handled the best way. I'm human after all. Thus, always take a step back before you respond to criticism. In the end, when your anger has died down, you may not even be bothered by the critique anymore and don't' feel the need to say anything.

So that's my recommendation on how to deal with type of thing. I hope it helps a bit!

[joandfriedrich]

Hope you don’t mind me ranting a little, I was looking for fanfics of Amy and Laurie and I’m kinda sad that a lot of them have him cheating physically or emotionally cheating on Amy with Jo. It’s like people just can’t accept that Laurie grew up (with a little help from Amy) and fell in love with someone else. Jo herself says she isn’t in love with him. And she found a beautiful love with Friedrich, I wish people could let it go. And maybe I’m wrong but with how Laurie was written in the book, I don’t ever see him cheating on Amy whatsoever with anyone. And Jo wouldn’t cheat on Friedrich with Laurie because she was never in love with Laurie!!! It feels so incredibly out of character for the both of them.

There is a way in Archive of Our Own to look for main ship tags. That is what I always do when looking out for Little Women fics. It filters out all the unwanted ones.

For your question, it is what I have been saying in the LW podcast since the beginning, I think the biggest problem is the lack of Laurie's characterization in Little Women adaptations and romanticizing his and Laurie's relationship.

Long loving looks

1949

1994 the non-required kiss

2019 Jo wanting Laurie back out of nowhere, and people even saying that "Gerwig" fixed Jo, for wanting Laurie back. Also Timothee Chalamet and Gerwig both saying the promotional tour that Jo and Laurie should be together.

Those are of course just a few examples, but then there is the actual story in the book. No I don't think Laurie would ever cheat on Amy and Jo would certainly not cheat on Fritz.

I personally believe that LMA planned both marriages years before she wrote the novel. There is a book from Goethe called "Wilhelm Meister's apprenticeship" one of Alcott's favorite books. Wilhelm is very much a Laurie type of character. During the novel he grows as a person. We see, this in the terms of character. He moves on from unhealthy relationship to Marianne to one with Natalia. In LMA's notes, she calls the relationship with Natalia "beautiful". This is both mental and spiritual transformation, it also happens when Jo moves on from Laurie to Fritz.

I think that is one of those things that people miss on Louisa May Alcott's writings. Person "transcends" in this next relationship, and becomes a better person.

In general I think, most of Laurie's characterization is missing from the adaptations. i know I sometimes critizise him, the way he behaves as a young man, but I think that is the point because he grows out of that behavior when he is with Amy. Had she stayed with Jo he would have remained as a man-child, and they would have both been unhappy.

-Niina/Little Women Podcast

-----------------------------------------

I totally understand your pain, because a few years ago I read a fanfic where Jo gave birth to her son Teddy, and pretty much everyone knows that Jo and Laurie had affair that resulted Teddy, and Friedrich was just fine with it even if a little sad. It is one of the worst fanfictions I have ever read, and I wish I never seen it.

I just have a hard time believing that either Jo or Laurie would cheat on their respective partners, or be the lover to someone married, it is just not in their personalities. Laurie had a crisis when he realized that he wasn't in love with Jo anymore, do people really think he'd just be ok with having affair with someone? The guy would be so racked with guilt that he'd confess to it immediately, he'd even tell Amy about how another woman hit on him and he'd apologize.

Jo clearly had no interest in any man until Friedrich (Jo, and even Friedrich, can be read heavily as being demisexuals), and she has made it incredibly clear that she has no romantic or even sexual feelings for Laurie, constantly calling him her "brother", even trying to set him up with her sisters at different points.

It's crazy how desperate the Jo and Laurie shippers are to try and make them work when Alcott is rolling in her grave to think that people didn't get the obvious that Jo and Laurie do not belong together! Thankfully, there is more than enough good fanfics out there to wash the awful taste in your mouth.

-Christina

[imminent-danger-came]

drop a bitterbomb about lmk or the fandom, just go ham. i am here for that mk rant

Hmmm I don't think I have a complaint about lmk itself! (Except maybe the fat clone joke, but I have my man Pigsy so it evens out for me). I really love this show with my whole heart, and though I can be bitter about some things (toh, shera, recently nimona) I do try to give things the benefit of the doubt if I can tell there's real heart and thought behind something. And lmk? So much thought goes into this show, you can feel how talented these writers are!

As for the fandom. *Ahem* *Gets on top of my soap box.* This is a lot of power you've given me.

Like I said in my tags, MK is so often relegated to the role of "therapist" it's shocking. I think a lot of folk view MK and Steven (from Steven Universe) as the same character, and while there's fun similarities, MK is very different from Steven. Steven is definitely the group therapist and ends up having to be the most emotionally mature of all the crystal gems, struggling to keep everyone above water. MK on the other hand has to rely an incredible amount on everyone around him, rarely being the one to actually give comfort himself. MK just also isn't really a character with a "I can fix them" mentality. He's not going out of his way to redeem anyone, except the person in front of him who he thinks can help save his friends/the universe.

Maybe this is a bold take, but I view MK as someone who would choose his friends over the world (he also literally does so in 4x02). He is not a selfless world-first kind of hero, which makes his guilt over getting the world in trouble all the more delightful to watch.

So, it's always surprising to me when I see MK being the one to comfort other characters (namely Red Son and Macaque), when Mei is LITERALLY right there. Our hopepunk shonen protag girly. She's the one to usually do the comforting (along with the rest of the gang), but I think in general a lot of people sleep on Mei.

Which brings me to my second rant: another thing that's kind of disappointing/annoying about the fandom is how pretty much Sun Wukong and Macaque are the only two characters, with MK as a third to promote some kind of interaction between the other two. Sometimes I play a game with myself of seeing how far I can scroll the lmk tag before I see a post about only Sandy.

Which, lmk has such a wonderful cast of characters, it's kind of sad seeing fan content only about Wukong and Macaque—now don't get me wrong, I also love those monkeys, but there's also a lot more characters to explore! Mei is one of my favorite characters, and I think Tang has one of my favorite arcs in the show (3x08 is such a good episode. I am also a big fan of 4x03).

And, god. For all the fan content about Wukong and Macaque those two definitely get the brunt of the blorbofication.

In canon? They're very flawed and fucked up immortals who have hurt themselves and others. But in the fandom? UWU Precious sad boys who blush. It's kind of maddening. Originally I had a lot of people mad at me in my notes for thinking sweet boy Sun Wukong knew MK was a monkey the whole time/involved in MK's creation. Like. I legitimately can not believe there was discourse on twitter about Wukong being a "deadbeat dad". Have you seen this man. Hello. He's an asshole, but he's our asshole, and he tries.

[madame-wilsonn]

Special Announcement!!

I am so thrilled today because for the past few months, I have been working on a very secret project (also the reason why I haven’t really posted much) and now it is finally done!! You can’t imagine how hard it has been to work in the dark (literally) and keep the secret because I really wanted to share it with all of you. But now it’s ready and I can officially present to all of you my first multi-chaptered story: Midnights

To explain briefly the concept, it is based on Taylor Swift’s newest album. For those of you who don’t know, her last album is based on 13 sleepless nights during her life. I decided to take that concept and turn into a story around Tommy. 

Just to be clear, the story isn’t based on the songs at all. I just kept the idea of telling the stories of 13 different sleepless nights. And because Tommy is quite literally the king of insomnia and I couldn’t make a 150 chapters story, I picked 13 specific nights with specific events. 

I have to be honest, I always said I would never commit to a multi-chaptered story because as a reader, I used to invest emotionally into stories that would be discontinued and it was disappointing. Of course, as a writer, I understand why some stories aren’t finished but it’s something I feel particularly uncomfortable with: to promise a whole story and only end up giving a part of it because I got bored or discouraged. I found a little loophole and just wrote the entire thing! So all the chapters are written and pretty much edited, they just need to be posted now so you don’t need to worry about potentially never knowing how it ends.

This story focuses mainly on what happened in canon with one chapter being before the show and one after. It’s not exactly a reader insert and there is no character present except from mentions. This is just Tommy and Tommy alone, dealing with his demons. It is the core idea of this story. I really wanted to explore Tommy’s loneliness in most of the important and difficult moments of his life. It is far from being a fluffy, light story and honestly, doing a deep dive in Tommy’s mind for the last two months has been quite difficult haha. The chapters are also quite short (everything is under 2k words). I’ve worked very hard on this so I’m a bit anxious but I really hope you like it!!

I decided to make you, readers, participate a little! Because everything is written, I wanted to ask your opinion about posting so here, you can find a Google form link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSezXfPK9BWYUJSmgG4Qhchv26SrYURASSKGIp9GisB7DvPE3g/viewform?usp=sf_link

It’s very short and it will take you less than a minute to fill out, I promise (there are literally 3 questions). I will leave you until Monday, December 19th, 7pm (Paris time) to answer it and then I will post the very first chapter of the story! 

To finish this very long rant, I want to start by thanking my darling @choreosmania for all the help and support you’ve given me!! I told you so many times already but I would have never finished this so quickly without you so thank you 💗

And I'm going to tag some mutuals who might be interested (if not, I would still love it if you reblogged this 🥰): @hauntedheathcliff @huntingingoodwill @runnning-outof-time @zablife @look-at-the-soul @dandelionprints @celticmelody @tommydoesntpayforsuits @dearshelby @theshelbyslimited @theshelbyclan @forgottenpeakywriter @notyour-valentine @thesoldiersminute @cillmequick @wretched-mischief

[pinksilvace]

Hey fern, what if you dropped a top 10 favorite cats the musical characters list

omg 😳😳😳 maybe we could find out 😳😳😳

1: Alonzo

Surprise, surprise, I know. Silly little vain/uncertain/bravado guy. What is he doing. I just know he's so full of anxiety but he's also probably emotionally illiterate. He's SUCH a big bro figure in my brain in a number of ways, but mostly because I think he'd be the kind of guy to try and fix problems, fail, and dejectedly call for mom's help after the fact.

There's not much I can say about Alonzo that I haven't already said:

Here's where I ranted about his adjectives.

Here's where I ranted about his design for the Egg Cracker Bracket.

Goodness knows I've probably ranted across many many many tags as well. Idk man he's just so Gender to me and I think he's really funny and I love that he's a bit of a loser depending on how much the actor plays up the "uncertain" part of his character (the one that prominently comes to mind is here during Grizabella, the Mac scares, the end of M&R, and the IMMEDIATE change in demeanor during the Song of the Jellicles). I LOVEEEE that he's often shown to despise Tugger; it's such a funny dynamic. I love that different productions have him looking to Munkustrap, Skimbleshanks, and Cassandra for guidance. I love that fics make him a bit of an ass sometimes. For whatever gripes I have with Broadway revival choreo, I also love that it gave him some more character moments than he used to :D.

Every depiction of Alonzo I see gives me a new, interesting look at the character. I have yet to find one I dislike.

Aghhhh we've reached the point where this ranking gets really hard 😭😭😭 LMAO

2: Demeter

She was my favorite when I first got Really into cats circa 13 years old. I'll forever be bitter that she had no presence in 2019. She's LITERALLY the second most important character for the sake of the plot and they just LEFT HER OUT??? Just because she's hard to recognize after only a single watch or two??? hhhhhhhhhhhhh

The way actors portray her is ALWAYS entrancing. If cats is Subtext: The Musical, Demeter is Subtext: The Character. The Macavity number??? Come ON. The fact that she opens the show? Her reactions to literally everything??? Oughhhh sometimes she makes me want to chew on concrete.

Sometimes, there are portrayals of Demeter that I dislike, though. I guess it makes sense for a character whose words are skittish/cautious/paranoid, but sometimes, those traits seem to supercede her personality, which is always a shame. I particularly enjoy her interactions with Munkustrap and Bombalurina, of course, so when those are overshadowed by just how scared she is, I think it tends to weaken stuff overall. After all, those relationships thrive on how they interact and curb that fear.

I don't spend nearly enough time thinking about Demeter and it's an absolute travesty. Ma'am you are the heart and soul of the show to me. You keep everything thematically linked together. I love you

3: Munkustrap

I think that Munkustrap might be the definition of a comfort character for me. His mental health is rock solid. He's so dad-coded it's unreal. I desperately need to watch a production of Cats and only focus on Munkustrap, because his interactions with everybody are spectacular. There is so much character fit into this guy. He's also entertaining to me because I would NOT guess his adjectives, ever; they always come across as a characterization secondary to his role, and I like that quite a lot.

And oh my gosh, his DESIGN!!! I think Munkustrap has some of the prettiest makeup in the show, and his whole look is pleasingly cohesive. There's so much happening on his face, but when it's good, it's PHENOMENAL.

COME ONNNNNNNN, the HIGHLIGHTS on those WHISKERS??? The gradients on the cheeks and nose??? oooohhhhhhh it pleases me IMMENSELY. I also really like how the makeup blends into the wig, and the shape of the wig is also one of my favorites in the show - especially when it's a bit droopy, like Michael Gruber's in '98.

let's not forget about the collar

Anyway YEAH!!! He's one of my favorites to see actually moving onstage, consistently has a beautiful voice, and has some of my favorite relationships in the whole show :D

4: Admetus

This is a bit of a cheat listing. I really don't think about Admetus that much, but I would REALLY like to think about him more. I want to know what his deal is. Like Munkustrap, I think he has some fascinating relationships onstage that all present very differently - his time spent with Tumble/Pounce, Victoria, and Alonzo come to mind.

But also

THE MAKEUP

THIS LOOK WITH THE BIG LOWER LASHES??? GIRL HELP YOUR CAT IS GNC AS HELL. EASILY my favorite cats makeup look EVER. I know it's just because they have to slather on Mac's stuff later but I love that most of the face is left plain so they went absolutely ham with the eyes. It's the opposite of Munkustrap's. Brilliant.

anyway yeah he looks cool and I think his role in the tribe is in a really interesting flux stage

5&6: Pouncival and Tumblebrutus

They are a pair... do not separate

okay okay OKAY I know I often talk about my favorite characters in terms of how funny they are, and these guys??? Absolute clowns. The product is exactly what's written on the tin; they sure do pounce and tumble!!! Even a few weeks ago, they probably wouldn't have been so high on the list, but writing CFP and forcing myself to learn more about their characters as a result has skyrocketed the amount of love in my heart for them. If I had to choose, I'd probably say that I like Pouncival just a tiiiiny bit more since I think he's more memorable and I prefer his design, but the way they both look up to almost everybody else in the show is intoxicating to watch.

My favorite moments of these two are, of course, Pounce here (2:35 onward) and Tumble here (2:14:25 onward). I just think they're neat.

7: John Partridge The Rum Tum Tugger

(Okay, but, like, John Partridge is the ultimate here. My second favorite is probably Zach Bravo since his take on the character is so different, but there might never be a Tugger as suave as Partridge ever again.)

Going back to his antagonistic relationship with Alonzo, I think it's interesting that they share "vain" as a descriptor. I also think that Tugger's relationships are interesting in that a lot of them aren't necessarily dissimilar with one another (they're all quite teasing, whether romantic or platonic), but they are unique to him. The dynamism of his character is probably what makes me like him the most; I love how he code switches between his own number, Old Deuteronomy, and Mr. Mistoffelees.

Aside from all that, come on. The swagger is magnetic. (I'd write more but my fingers are starting to hurt)

8: Bombalurina

women <3

(I do have additional thoughts about her character! She's intelligent, generous, and flirtatious, and though she's always seeking romantic/sexual attention, those interactions are always secondary to her relationship with Demeter, which is something that I really like. Depending on the performer, she can easily come across as one of the strongest characters.

...but yeah. women <3)

9: Skimbleshanks

(swings microphone around) I am once again answering on the basis of "I just think they're funny"

Seriously though, at this point, there are so many characters that could make it onto this list. I think Skimble juuuuust made it here because EVERYBODY loves him, and that just makes me love him more. He and Mistoffelees definitely seem like the most popular choices for fanart from folks outside of the fandom, 2019 or otherwise.

Also, whenever I need an answer in Quiplash and can't think of anything, I put in Skimbleshanks, and without fail, somebody always votes for it, even if they have no idea who (or, in their mind, what) Skimbleshanks is.

There's not a single thing I dislike about this cat or his number; I couldn't possibly begin to list everything here. I just haven't thought particularly hard about him as a character yet.

10: Electra

I must admit that I've barely spent any time at all thinking about Electra. HOWEVER, her interactions with Munkustrap are adorable, and the single father alonzo fic has irreparably changed my brain chemistry, and for those reasons alone, she's earned her place here. I also think the unitard design is really unique and beautiful :D

Honorable Mention: Tantomile. She was my favorite when I watched Cats '98 as a young'in :).

[saszaszeszi]

Im so fucking sleepy yet I can't sleep. Way too much thoughts. So maybe ill rant and get them out. It feels bad to talk about things like this, but oh well. I'm already exhausted emotionally and confused and all this stress makes me barely have any sleep at night (if im lucky enought to sleep tho).

The way they all lied to me and never told me anything. Three. Three different persons knew about it and no one tried to confront or ask me shit, just made their little theories. I understand one of them knew my blog. And i understand they checked it cause they noticed my mental state shrinking. But at the same time lying about not checking it? After accidentally leaving a heart on my intro post another (probably, maybe that was truth) lie that "they checked their followers" and accidentally went on my blog? I mean how dump do you think I am? Who follows you? Especially when you don't post a shit. Anyway sending screenshots of my vents to others is understable, but at the same time would be cool if i got to know about it all like in the span of a hour or two. Not several days later. Also some of the things i saw on screenshots just hurted me. "Like, i like him as a friend, i really do but how tf do i handle jirai". Bro i told you I'm jirai before we became friends. And why you act jirai is the problem? I still feel hurt. I still dont even feel like i can trust any of their words. He himself told others to talk about their emotions and all and dont give silent treatment. What i did to deserve this hypocritic behaviour from him? Litteraly both of these two others he told about this (not suprised that he told it after basically i got to know from them and not him and told him about it) accoused me of trying to distance them from the rest? Also one accoused me of bpd and being a yandere? I mean the bpd one and yandere was basically a child, but it still hurts. In the instance of me having stronger ed than usual and getting all this info randomly and litteraly needing to confront everyone and talk to them for longer amount of time to get to the maybe truth? I mean he lied way to many times and his promises seem hollow. I probably need time to get used to it but oh well. Im just tired. Tired of walking on eggshells to not make anyone uncomfortable nor to make them randomly worried or "try to make me say it". Say it yourself young man and dont try to force me by manipulation to say it to you. It all just made me relapse and suicidal again. I hate it. I hate them. But why i still care and im way to worried about them? Litteraly im worried after the tone of their message is wrong. Yet they dont seem to really care nor worry about me. Well maybe they do, but i dont feel it. Maybe leaving would be better. I would had another reason to end it, well loose reason to stay so itll add to reasons to end.

Ngl won't tag it as its more of private thing and not wanna get it seen by more people, but still some attention and reaction would be cool.

[ikuzeminna]

Who are your top 5 favorite atla characters

This might surprise you, anon, but this is a difficult question for me. By the way, I hope you’re a Gundam Wing fan who noticed me in the ATLA tag and not someone from the ATLA fandom just asking me a question because boy, is this gonna be an introduction to my blog.

I can tell you my favorite character right off the bat, which is Toph. She’s cool, and badass, and sarcastic, and wise, and self-deprecating, and saving the day left and right, and just all around awesome. That is to say, she is a joy to watch and there isn’t a single scene in the series where I’m annoyed by her. What is also in stark contrast to Aang is her commitment to improving herself. Toph is introduced as one of the strongest benders in the series, but does that stop her from evolving? No. She confronts and masters her weaknesses, sandbending and metalbending, going so far as to invent the latter to do so. This is what keeps her from being an obnoxious Mary Sue, even though she can take down armies by herself; Toph earns her strength. Unlike a certain someone who is only the strongest because he has the glowy uber mode.

Number 2 would be Katara, who provides a very nice example of a rich and complex character, who also gets to have a very unique relationship with the former villain, Zuko. She gets a lot of really good writing, which is the reason I like her so much. The contrast between her Book 1 self and her Book 2 self and onward is also very interesting to observe, as we get to see what a healthy serving of self-confidence can do for Katara as a character and for her personality. She isn’t exactly different, but there is a noticeable level of maturity added with her mastery of waterbending. She also gets the most emotionally intense episodes. A Katara episode is always a good episode.

From here on though, it gets difficult.

Zuko is somewhere on the list of favorites, too, but only if I ignore the annoying parts, the greatest being the obsession with Iroh. I’m not gonna launch into a rant, because that would be a 20 pages long essay on its own, but know that no other character in the history of media has ever held my ire to the level Iroh does, not just on his own, but for the way he ruins other characters, too. Seeing him gets the same response from me the way mentioning the British Museum does to every culture the Brits looted.

Aside from that, one thing that has always gotten on my nerves with Zuko is how we see nothing of his supposed princely background. Running around and throwing temper tantrums to get his way is how a brat acts, not necessarily a prince. Weirdly, they get it right with Azula. You can tell from a mile away that she’s nobility. Zuko? Zuko oscillates between ridiculously crafty and effin’ annoying. There is only one tiny hint I can identify that speaks to a higher standing and that is the way he sits straight. Other than that, nothing. No impressive vocab or signs of higher education or flowery language or sense of perfection and finesse. So another point for bad writing.

I just need two more, right?

Hmm. I’m gonna cheat with those and pick Piandao and Ursa. lol

Piandao, because he is the poster boy for a proper master. He is insanely skilled and seemingly eccentric because he abhors over-inflated egos, being a humble and open-minded person. He teaches Sokka because of his own morality and conviction and seems like someone who genuinely wants to help people. He doesn’t troll people like Bumi, nor does he abandon his nephew to go on a glory crusade. He’s also not a drama queen like Jeong Jeong. He’s a good role model and should have been the sole leader of the White Lotus, seeing as his house is plastered with lotus symbols. And he never should have accepted Iroh and Pakku. >_>

Here is where I run out of truly favorite characters. Ursa is not so much a favorite as she is interesting to me because I’m digging the family dynamics the series hints at. One NATLA picked up, too. It’s not the abuse victim/hostage nonsense the comics threw at us, which is offensive beyond belief, but a wonderfully complex mess that, if added to correctly, can turn Ozai from a flat pancake into a fully rounded character while enriching Zuko and Azula, and provide a parallel to Katara’s and Sokka’s family, too. But I’m gonna spare everyone a lengthy explanation for this, as that could be another post on its own.

Suffice it to say that while Ursa looks like the angel to Ozai’s monster and the series, for whatever reason, tried to paint one bloodline as good while the other is eeevul, it’s her who killed Azulon. Give me all the gray characters.

This should answer your question, anon. Now to blather about the stuff you didn’t ask me for.

~Part deux~

As I said in the beginning, picking five favorite characters in ATLA is difficult for me because I don’t have that many characters I truly like. It’s not that I necessarily hate them, I just don’t care about most characters.

Like, I don’t care for Sokka. He's the comedic relief, okay, whatever. If he gets a moment of awesome, it feels unearned. Him being touted as a great leader makes me laugh since the series implies it’s because he’s suddenly the only one who can read a map. He’s horribly written. Everything is rushed, from his romance with Yue to his one-day mastery of swordsmanship. That crap takes years. Never mind him getting a super special awesome space sword that’s practically a lightsaber. So it’s not even his own skill?

Same thing with Suki. I’m not bothered by her character the way Sokka annoys me (I do, in fact, dislike him when the series over-inflates his worth) but she’s just not interesting enough for me to care about her. Her being tethered to Sokka does her no favors in my book either. If you remove every scene where she interacts with him, is there any screen time left for her?

Aang is a can of worms. I like goofy Book 1 Aang. I absolutely loathe Bryke’s self-insert Book 3 Aang. And don’t even get me started on the shipping. It’s like pairing kid Goku with teen Bulma. Just, no.

So do I like Ozai then? No. Unless I make him interesting, he’s boring. Azula started out very strong, but then fell apart because the show decided to strangle itself with binaries. She’s also incredibly isolated, having only pancakes and her brother in her orbit. Mai and Ty Lee are flat. Jet got killed off before he had the chance to develop layers. That leaves me liking blank slates like Kanna. Yes, I will prefer the stock character over the badly written, flat ones.

This may all sound like I don’t like the series or, at the very least, don’t enjoy it, but that’s not the case. I have plenty of episodes I watch and rewatch because it is a fun show and I don’t need to like all the characters to enjoy an episode’s story. Being flat or inconsistent doesn’t bother me when they can manage to be consistent for an episode at least. And the bending battles are cool to look at. The trouble starts when we take all the series into account because the wasted potential through shoddy writing becomes more apparent, especially towards the end.

When you compare the characters and their writing to the likes of the Gundam Wing cast –and now we swerve to my blog’s main theme– the difference couldn’t be more glaring. This blog is dedicated to one single series, with me writing meta upon meta, sometimes about the most minute detail in one of the first episodes because it’s a hint for something that happens after the series, in the movie following the show, because the level of care to get the characters not just consistent but also massively layered is utterly insane in this show. If you were to make a character relation sheet, you’d just end up connecting everyone because every character gets a unique dynamic with everyone else. And this series doesn’t even focus on the characters. It’s plot-driven. It’s about politics and war.

Ironically, I have a harder time picking a favorite episode in Wing than I would in ATLA because I enjoy the characters in their entirety, which is reflected in the entirety of the series. Wing is hard to watch because it’s not episodic. Some of the coolest moments happen without fanfare. But I’d have no problem listing five favorite characters. Duo at the top because he’s the best, hands down, then Relena, then Wufei, then- wait no, first Meilan, then Wufei. And then it’s a battle between Trowa and Noin, with Dorothy being close behind.

[fangs-claws-paws]

Ranting

Just wanna put a bunch of petty, angry thoughts down somewhere.

99% is gonna be Warhammer 40k cuz dear god have some things been bothering me for a bit!

I honest to god care so little about the primarchs it is insane. Like I don't hate them, nor do I think they're bad, and I do genuinely like some of them. My problem is most writing and anything specific has to do with 'omg konrad so hot!' or 'magnus is bae!' p much insert any primarch there and its the same thing. And I just sit there with a grimancing smile cuz I just don't care for them like that, they're interesting characters in their plots, but I don't feel any sort of obsession or compulsion to write more about them, their story is told in the setting and that's good. I really don't want to read the 200th shipping piece about them with each other or insert guilliman/yrvaine, or primarch/self-insert, they are nothing to me. I care leaps and bounds more about the space marine's themselves, more about their loyalty to their primarchs and how that makes many do things they never would have done otherwise. Like the butchers nail in the world eaters, stuff like that. But at least on AO3 fanfiction its so rare it might as well not exist.

I guess bold words coming from the writer of the horniest/most fucked up space marine fan fic on the site. But I am allowed to bitch.

Other thing I hate with AO3 warhammer fanfiction, though looks more general, is the fixation with cross-over writing. Like there at least 10 fics there that are warhammer 40k crossover with my hero academia of all things. Let alone the 50+ fandom crossover fics that are a chore to scroll past due to the length of their tags (thankfully that's mostly reduced thanks to the tag limit AO3 had to enforce). None of them offer anything new, or interesting, or really anything I find worthwhile to read. Most can be boiled down to 'we took academia characters and hastily jammed them in roles of the primarchs' or something else just as uninspired. and again, like you do you, but it's miserable having to scroll through most fics and except for maybe 1 or 2 they are all pretty much the same thing with different window dressing.

Also wish there wasn't a treat of woobifying chaos. Acting like they're secretly the real good guys. Aside from being resoundingly not based in canon even remotely, it removes why I love chaos so much. I'm not a fan of chaos cuz I think they'll make everything right, I'm a fan cuz they just wanna watch everything burn and do horrific shit. Maybe I am tired of being nice, maybe I do wanna go ape shit! That's the appeal, the catharsis of being something so horrific and beyond good, and loving every step of the way.

Also not a huge fan of the new thing being hating space marines as boring generic action heroes, which I do kinda get bc GW loves using them as poster boys. But I dunno, I've just related to space marines more than the guardsmen. Not that I've ever been in war or some of the horrors they face. But when I relate is the isolation and seperation from the average human, like I loved reading in one of the Ahriman books how a space marine sat in a human chair and how it struggled to not shatter, how it made at least me aware how the world is not designed for them. They're children who were taken at an extremely young age and honed into weapons to be wielded, and I love when we're reminded that they kinda still are and how they're dehumanized by the Imperium. While space marines get along decently with each other, they struggle to understand the average human, how technically they're still emotionally children who have been given extremely dangerous weapons. That despite being angels of death for the imperium some humans still see them as freakish mutants that are barely tolerable only because they are weapons.

Like I know its extremely childish of me, but I do feel a little upset, annoyed, etc when space marines get parodied as obnoxious, stupid, hyper-masculine action hero jokes. Like 'oh ho ho! Bad ass space marines have to have their cybernetics tended to by humans, just proves regular humans are so superior to dumb marines!' Like yeah, but do you not see how it can also reflect the level of trust these dehumanized potentially deeply repressed traumatized individuals have to have that they allow select humans to help them with their disability, something that space marines shouldn't have, at least according to propaganda. Or how war can irreperably change even someone who is now seen as a tool, or that space marines are seen as just as replaceable as the cybernetics that they are augmented with. LIke IDK, maybe I see too much of myself in fictional superhuman dudes, but it irks me to have them only be seen as either just cool (which I tolerate infinitely more) or as something that must be constantly parodied and treated as something to be derided as pathetic masculine fantasy (which I detest)

[icedteasandparliaments]

Rant: Love life, story, troubles, venting, need advice

This is a long rant, but something that has really been consuming me. Its about a guy I like, and I desperately need some advice. It is a pretty interesting read, so if you have the time to, please read or share.

So there’s this guy. Let’s call him James. We’ve known each other for two years, and we were both in open relationships when we met. Nothing happened, we just hung out, met up at bars, were affectionate (pecks and some light cuddling). I did ask if he wanted to get fully undressed once while we were cuddled up and about to sleep, and he said no (I dont exactly remember the phrasing), so we just kissed and went to sleep, and I left it at that.

Anyway, this past May we were both at EDC. My bf was with me on Friday and went back to LA Saturday morning. James and I unfortunately didn’t get the chance to meet up inside the festival on Saturday, but I met up with him Sunday evening before the festival started. He was about to head back to LA in a few hours, and his roommate was going to end up there by himself. I obviously invited his roommate to tag along with us since he needed a ride too.

We get to the festival, and his roommate tells me that James thinks I am really special, and that I should really go for it with him. I was confused, as I didn’t really feel that from him and I was beginning to see us as friends. Oh, and we were both still in the same relationships I mentioned earlier.

A few months go by, and my bf and I are arguing all the time. I know he cares about me and loves me so deeply, and would do anything for me, but it is clear now that we are not very compatible. We see things very differently, and we argue about the dumbest shit (he’s the instigator, as he’s OCD and insecure, and the fact that I am so laid back actually upsets him further so I was at a loss, as even my tools of diffusion, talking calmly, trying to use reason and logic, would upset him even more)

Towards the end of July, I could feel my depression coming back. My bf and I get into yet another argument, and my energy felt so depleted. I fully withdrew - emotionally, mentally, physically. The next few weeks were tumultuous to say the least. Another major argument followed by the end of August. I ask for a break, to which his response was “that’s a break up with extra steps. If you’re already there we should just break up.” … and so we do.

2 days later, James texts and invites me to a pool party at his friend’s place. I really needed a change of scenery, and I haven’t seen him in a few months. I drove up to his place and we drove another hour to his friend’s place. We talked and laughed the whole drive up, and right before we get there he tells me he called it off with his boyfriend, and I tell him the same happened with me. I felt an energy shift, but that was that.

We get to the pool party, and he introduces me to his friends. It turns out, I spoke with one of the hosts on grindr so many times, and we just never met up (he lives an hour away, lol). We didn’t realize it at the time, and it’s not relevant to this story I just thought it was a funny coincidence.

The party was more-so a gathering, as we were just around 10 people. I was getting to know them throughout the party, and I don’t remember spending much alone time with James. I really hit it off with one the guests though (much older and ruggedly handsome), and we ‘snuck off’ for a bit to make out. We left about an hour later, and James drove me back to his place. We saw an episode of Ted Lasso. He got up when it was over and said he was going to shower, and I could crash on the couch (I think that’s what he said, I was pretty tipsy). I said I should probably head back and I gave him a quick kiss good night and left.

Another week goes by, and I hit him up first. We made plans to drive up to Tahoe with my friends but a storm came and we cancelled. He travelled to see his family instead. I waited until he came back and texted him first again, which is when he invited me to an overnight gay event in the woods. I wasn’t going to go, especially since my bf and I had talked and said we’ll do the break instead of a breakup. Friday night passed, and he calls me Saturday morning asking me to come for the last night of the event. He got me a ticket and a place to stay, so I didn’t really have an excuse. I went, and I am so glad I did because it was a very magical night to say the least, and we were really vibing with each other. I met some more of his friends, but I was now mindful of the fact that what we have going on might be more than a friendship. I wanted to shoot my shot and let him know I am starting to like him, but more on that later.

He was truly the life of the party. He befriended everyone. He’s so sweet and special, and his energy is truly infectious. I started feeling myself blush and getting butterflies when his attention was directed my way (which it was for most of the night). He is just so charismatic. During a show that night, we were cuddled up and holding hands the entire time. His head was resting on my shoulders as he hugged me and wrapped his legs around mine. It felt amazing. We go back to the cabin, and he jokingly says that we should date (in front of his friends) after celebrating that he’s single. We ended up on different substances that day, and so were on different wavelengths.

The party picked up throughout the night, and I start to back out of telling him I like him. Just as I was texting that to a friend, I see that he’s kissing someone else. I shrugged it off and went back into the crowd to dance. He finds me 20-30 mins later, says he’s been looking for me, grabs me and we start making out. It felt surreal (I am sure it was the drugs too, and the fact that I wasn’t really knowing whether to expect that). He came up to me another hour later and asked if I was hitting it off with a guy I was talking to, to which I replied that it wasn’t sexual. He then said not to worry, and that he’s very easy, and we made out again. I saw him kiss two other guys that night, and back and forth we went. It started feeling like we were just special friends, and I began to accept that by the end of the night. I finally gave some attention back to a cute guy that’s been checking me out all day.

James and his friend (our cabin mate), the cute guy I just met, and I started walking towards the afterparty. The cute guy asks me how I know James, and I stuttered before saying “we’ve known each other for 2 years … and I guess we’ve been friends ever since.” A few minutes later, I turn around and see that James and his friend went in another direction (presumably to check out an orgy), so I just texted him to check up and said ill be at the afterparty. He said he was just in and out and it wasn’t his vibe, but I didn’t see him at the afterparty for a while (it was small, and so super hard to miss).

So the cute guy and I go to the afterparty, with the trippiest music, bohemian decorations in an indoor/outdoor space with blankets, pillows, and super cuddly vibes. He pulled out some Ketamine and asks if I want some. I am very used to psychedelics, but I have never tried K, and it was honestly the perfect setup for it. I tried to get a hold of James, but he didn’t respond. The K hit me fast, and I immediately wanted to lie down and cuddle up. I lied down and the cute guy started spooning me. I look up and see James, call him and he just says hi and that he’s looking for other people. I said okay and lied back down. He was within earshot most of the time, but I was too out of it to actually hear anything besides his voice. He came up to me before he was heading out, knelt down and kissed me. “Good night babe, Ill see you back in the cabin.”

I got up a few mins later and told the guy I should head back too as to not wake them up. I go back to the cabin, and he asks why I didnt bring the guy back and jokingly said he’d be down to watch. I just laughed and went to sleep. I debated asking if he wants to cuddle, but we were in bunk beds and he fell asleep really quickly, and I also felt odd about having just cuddled up with someone else. The next morning as I was heading to the bathroom, he saw me getting up and reached his hand out to hold mine as I was passing through. I gave him a quick kiss good bye, and I drove back home.

A couple of days later, I hit him up again, and ask him out to a show that upcoming Friday with my friends under the guise of “an extra ticket”, especially since he had gotten one for me the weekend prior. He said yes, but I started feeling sick that day. I later tested and I had COVID. I called to let him know, and that Friday would be my 5th day. He said he doesn’t mind and would still like to go if I am feeling fine. I was still really tired, but I really wanted to see him. I was planning to have my mask on all day, but he asked me to take it off after we sat down “so he could see my face”.

We had a really great time, and even snuck into much better seats (they weren’t taken), so we ended up spending the entire concert by ourselves w/out my friends. We took a little bit of mushrooms, and we were so intimate all night (his arm around me, holding hands, slightly squeezing my butt, my arm was wrapped around his thigh, my head on his side (he was sitting on top of the chair while I was fully seated, so he was significantly higher most of the time. I am pretty sure he saw me visibly blush a couple of times but I really tried to hide it for some reason, I didnt want to come off too strong …). The show ends, and he asks if I want to go out to a gay bar. I was so tired and just wanted to cuddle up and smoke a bowl and watch tv, but I said yes only because I wanted to spend some more time with him.

Before going, we decided to check in with my friends and quickly met up with them at the bar they were at. My friend’s coworker (a woman) was so into him, and after telling her he was gay she wanted to set him up with her husband’s brother. She asked if he was seeing anyone, and he stuttered before saying he’s here with me. When she asked if we were dating he said that we’re just friends and we both recently got out of a relationship (this conversation was relayed to me by a friend). Anyway, we leave 30 mins later and go to the gay bar.

We order drinks and food, and he was hitting it up with some cute guy for a bit while our order came (which is fine). We went to see a drag show and he again put his arm around me. My friends came an hour or so later, but one of them was too drunk so I went to meet them outside. My car was already at my friend’s place, and I wasn’t going to kiss James anyway seeing as its just my 5th day still. I waited for him to come out, hugged him good night, walked him to his car, and went back home with my friends.

He asks me to let him know when I get home, and I can physically feel the butterflies in my stomach. I feel like I am falling for this guy fast, and it is starting to scare me. I don’t know what we are, or where this is headed, and whether he’s even emotionally available. I seem to always be hitting him up first, and he’s so different in person than he is over text (one word responses, never initiates, feels like its a chore, only calls me “babe” and says I am really cute when we are together in person). Even when I say “hey babe”, his response back is “hey” or “hey you” … which is 🤦🏽‍♂️. Then he keeps inviting me to places and agreeing to go places with me, so I am really not sure what’s going on.

We made plans to spend 4 back-to-back weekends together starting a month from now. Yes, FOUR. It seems like we’ve confirmed on 3 so far, with one being tentative, but that’s still really significant. The last weekend is an out of town trip. I figured id just lay back for a while and let my emotions process. Out of sheer curiosity, I go online to check the compatibility of a Pisces-Pisces relationship. It was … SCARILY on point. This is what I found:

“At first glance, two Pisces representatives might become a perfect couple, but when we scratch beneath the surface, we might see that they have real trouble getting close to each other. Their sex life can be magical, but in many cases they will not even get to the physical contact, keeping their relationship senselessly platonic.”

“Trust is a very difficult subject when two Pisces representatives begin a romantic relationship. Their main problem is in the fact that they know each other too well. They can both recognize their own unstable and unreliable nature in their partner, so instead of building trust and changing them both for the better, they will easily get caught in a circle of attempts to be honest and dishonest, without the need for their flaky nature to change. The best way for them to create a safe and trustful atmosphere is in a lot of meaningful communication that they both usually find obsolete.”

“Although they will share their dreams with one another, and probably inspire each other in many ways, it will be difficult for them to have discussions on ongoing things in their lives. They will both have their own image of what is important for their partner to know about them. It is a good thing they will have such a strong feeling on each other’s point, because they would probably never meet each other at all if there was no emotional connection between them.”

“They will have a tendency not to move from a certain point, both of them intensely focused on the idea of love, rather than actual activities. This will easily lead them to a place where there is really nothing else to share and talk about especially if they don’t share the same group of friends, or have other joined activities that they can discuss on a daily basis.”

“When they fall in love, this is a fairytale romance and their emotional contact is something that no other sign can reach. Two of the representatives of Venus’ exaltation in the same relationship, are love multiplied. Their tenderness and the way they nurture their emotions toward each other, will be a true inspiration for everyone around them. There is no better partner to understand the emotional nature of a Pisces partner, than another Pisces. Their mutable quality will show through emotional changes and apparent inconsistency, but in truth, they will know exactly when to separate and when to be together in order for their love to remain exciting and beautiful.”

I truly wanted to just let it be and go with the flow, but I am worried that we are both taking the same exact approach, and we will just be stuck in this will-they won’t-they forever. Honestly, all I want to know is whether this is just a friendship or if there’s something more, and if he’s willing to explore things emotionally. I am at such a loss because I don’t want to keep texting him first either, and I am a little worried still that he sees me the same way I see all my friends-with-benefits (hot men whose company I enjoy and who I care about, but nothing more).

Should I just wait and see what happens over our next few outings? The last weekend of the 4 is an out of town trip (with friends). Do I tell him then, or before? Or just let it be? I am just torturing myself here. Can someone please offer some advice? (He is 11 years older in his mid 30s if that makes any difference).

What the hell should I do and how do I handle this? He already knows I think he is super cute (to which his response is always “so are you, so sexy”). He already saw me staring into him a few times and saw me blush when he caught me. The way I smile and look at him would give me away to anyone else. I also kept noticing him looking at me from the corner of my eye during the concert. He also just got out of a relationship, and said he’s young and wants to enjoy his life without the confines of a relationship. We’ve been friends for two years but we’ve never had sex … Why is he so confusing? 😭 please help. What would you do in this situation?

[otogariado]

15 questions!

supposed to be 15 mutuals too but i'm still too shy to tag people on this blog BUT if you don't mind getting tagged in posts like this then feel free to like this post & i'll tag you in the future. teehee

i was tagged by @stripesysheaven 💖💖 thank you

1. are you named after anyone?

my deadname is probably inspired by some french royalty. i did nickname myself after a videogame protagonist though, even though i don't use that nickname much any more

wait actually i'm vaguely remembering smth abt my mom supposedly naming myself after a local actress. that works too if that's true

2. when was the last time you cried?

very recently because i was very sad. but also it's easy for me to cry bc of stuff i watch. i teared up during three different moments while watching the new puss in boots movie

3. do you have kids?

no. probably never. it's a very big responsibility

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

not a lot, just sometimes. usually just to be funny or when i'm ranting to someone abt an anecdote in private. i like making it apparent when i do though. "i DONT use sarcasm at all NOT using it right now. what makes you say that"

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

recently competed in badminton doubles!! with strangers i met like minutes before the matches started haha. we were short on people. i'm not Very Good at any particular sport but i'll play most things for fun. i miss doing frisbee class

6. what's the first thing you notice about other people?

i'm always So Scareds of people so it's hard to answer this question... probably the way they speak? i don't have to be looking at people to notice that

7. what's your eye colour?

almost black, deep brown thangs

8. scary movies or happy endings?

schmaltz forever

9. any special talents?

i can follow sheet music on the spot (just give me the pitch and i'm good) and i'm good at bullshitting melodies i've never sang before

10. where were you born?

born and raised and still here in the philippines

11. what are your hobbies?

watching shows and movies and getting incredibly emotionally attached to fictional characters and thinking about them too hard is my #1 hobby. aside from that i like listening to video essays/podcasts, drawing, writing... i also like walking. once i learn how to ride a bike i'd like to do that regularly too

i need more physical crafty hobbies, i just don't have the space/space management skills to do them rn... i used to do a lot of paper crafting as a kid

12. do you have any pets?

toothless is a... tuxedo cat? he's technically my grandpa's but i consider him my little guy too

they're my cousins' but i also live with two dogs :) toffee (middle) who is a very bitey puppy. he's aspin but he probably has some fancy breed in his blood or smn bc his fur is very soft. and betsy (right, jailed for crimes. she doesn't mind) is a shih tzu and they've had her for a few years now C:

13. how tall are you?

i hate checking my height cz i might shrink again. probably around 5'6"

14. favorite subject in school?

i loved math and science in grade school. in high school i enjoyed lit a lot more. pending answer for college lol

15. dream job?

my cousin once brought up the idea of us owning a bar/cafe/resto thing together. it would be nice!

[marley-manson]

Your tags on that last BJ post 💙💙💙 I'm so glad I'm not the only one who watched that plotline and was like :/ idk if I'm buying into that tbh. Basically I totally agree with you: it seems in character for BJ, but it's so obviously A Message and it sucks as one imo. Like how was cutting the rope any different from the really hard and quick decisions they have to make in the OR every day? Being in a situation where you can't save someone else so you have to leave them or you'll both die isn't even specific to war, much less to being an actively fighting soldier?? You could experience the same thing in a house fire or a sinking car or something. Maybe I'm just not understanding the point here but idk it just didn't affect me emotionally like it was clearly supposed to because I was like arguing with the episode's thesis on a meta level lol. Sorry for ranting about this to you unprompted idk if I even interpreted your tags correctly or if I'm being incoherent TL;DR Good tags!!! I agree 💙

YEAH like as a narrative statement, if I'm meant to take BJ's assessment in Bombshells as fair and reasonable, it straight up sucks! And to me it does feel like the show commentating on its more subversive past and sort of writing it off as misguided.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way as well! And like, you've inspired me now lol so I want to count the ways it's wrong, in addition to what you've pointed out which I completely agree with too, like I didn't even think of the point that that kind of sacrifice is hardly intrinsic to soldiers in combat, but you're absolutely right and it does ruin the point a little lol.

But like, my biggest issue with it is BJ/maybe the narrative essentially ignoring the fact that the war is caused and perpetuated by people, it's not a natural phenomenon, and those people are the ones Hawkeye and co directed the most derision towards. Like the show has always been super easy on soldiers lol, it's very sympathetic to the guys actually fighting the war, and Hawkeye has specifically said in one of his more iconic speeches of the show that "except for some of the brass, everyone in war is an innocent bystander."

They don't act oh so superior to random soldiers, they act superior to the people who chose to start the war, chose to prolong the war, and who loudly and proudly support the people who do that, like Frank. That’s the authority they flout, and they’re 100% correct for it.

It also doesn't account for the draft - even if Hawkeye and BJ did consider themselves superior to soldiers, they, esp Hawkeye, are there under duress, basically prisoners, and I also think it'd be pretty fair to feel separate and superior to people who volunteered to be there - and that's even just operating within the show's own moral framework, in which again soldiers are usually sympathetic and rarely morally wrong. Like there’s absolutely nothing wrong with resenting the people in the organization that’s functionally imprisoning you, and it sucks to imply that it’s unfair or short-sighted imo. Though yk, it is pretty in-line with a lot of later Mash’s messaging.

And again it's interesting to look at it as solely BJ's reaction to being in that situation, and I think it is actually in character for him - it reminds me of his stringent position in Preventative Medicine a little, and I feel like it complements the apparent fact that he could've dodged the draft but didn't, eg. But if I'm meant to take it as a valid statement, then I just can't.

[krdaaaa]

Your tags say that being a Bruce Wayne fan instead of his psycho kids fan is suffering and I AGREEEEEEEEE.

How did I hyperfixate on him while his ten plus closer to my age children exist? I don't know. I wish I did. But there are few who are manic about Bruce like I am it sucks

I'm gonna ramble a lot so, sorry in advance. 

Hard agree anon. It's funny because again I agree that, maybe it's my feed, but it's hard to find people on this site who are into Bruce's character outside of analyzing his personality and characteristics and life choices, or who aren't blatantly or passively shitting on him.

Like one half of me wants to puff up and defend Bruce when people make posts that intentionally or unintentionally knock on Bruce's character, but the other half is just resigned because...yeah I get it. Bruce has done stuff in Canon that makes me want to pull my hair out. So why do I still love him more than any of the other batfamily member combined?

I think it's many things, and while I could go on a rant about how much I see myself in him I won't (it's literally that I don't perceive meme lol), Bruce to me feels like a character perpetually unrealized. He's a character that, despite being around for a really long time, hasn't felt like he's lived to his fullest potential in my opinion at least. And despite being closer to my age range, the robins/bat girls just don't hold my attention. I know people like them due to their age range and complex interpersonal storylines between other teen characters (i.e. the titans) and Parental figures (i.e. Bruce, Alfred, Talia maybe?) 

Like take out the superhero stuff and people will usually relate to something in the boys and girl's many storylines. However, I just can't see myself in them, most of their personalities are completely opposite of mine, and like I just can't relate to all of that sibling angst. Despite the huge difference in age, Bruce's struggle with expressing his emotions speaks to me. That said, it's understandable that some people don't like Bruce as much due to how much his positive and negative choices have affected the lives of the robins and the bat girls.

Sympathizing with him can get really frustrating, adding onto the fact that his character has flip flopped so much over the years to where anyone can look at Bruce and come back with a different viewpoint. 

Again, apologies for the long rambling. It's hard to get my thoughts on Bruce coherent enough in writing. 

TLDR: It's understandable why people prefer the robins/bat girls over Bruce, but I think he is still a character with a goldmine of potential that is overlooked due to inconsistent writing by DC, and really overdue for some lasting character growth, plus I just emotionally relate to him more and I preferred father characters over mother ones sue me.