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*covered in blood* I'm literally fine guys. im still funny. Would you like to hear a joke Im going to tell you a joke

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Death Dealer 4 pg38 by Arthur Suydam

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Death Dealer by Arthur Suydam

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An (In)Glorious Duty Part XXII

Author's note: @fangs-claws-paws wrote this post and I just had the brain worms. Words written: 1,711, Total: 37,601/(goal) 50,000

Warnings: Dark Shit, or it will be. LMK If I need to add anything

Summary: Lord Orsais brings in three special trainers to help teach and train Petrico. While the young Battle brother is a loyal and dutiful Astarte, he's had two failed pregnancies.

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k,

Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @ms--lobotomy , @thevoidscreams, @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

Tagged: @felinisnoctis, @undeaddream

“Ah, I am so glad to meet with you so quickly,” Lord Orsais says to the trio of specialty trainers with a polite smile on his face as he gestures for the trio of baseline humans to take a seat on the other side of the table.

The first of the trio of trainers is a short, stocky woman with dark skin and eyes. Her hair is in box braids with her braids pulled up into a bun. “We are happy to be of service to the Imperial Elite.”

Lord Orsais greets the three trainers- they are good at problem solving for Astartes who are misbehaving. Or are the Lord, Lady or Noble having issues with their Astarte, be they a Sire or Carrier.

The quartet of humans speak politely, making some small talk before one of the trainers decides to cut to the chase as they set down the cup of tea that had sipped as they watched their fellow trainers speak with the Lord Orsais.

“May I inquire as to the issue that you are having with your new Astarte?” The Second trainer asks, they are tall and lithe with an undercut and bright multicolored hair and a sharp assessing look on their lightly tanned face with tawny colored eyes.

“My new Astarte- Petrico, so far has been polite and obedient,” Lord Orsais sighs and shakes his head a little bit, sounding disappointed, “it has only been with me long enough to have two pregnancies. Both of them were unsuccessful, the infants did not make it.”

“Oh? What a tragedy,” The third Trainer, a well muscled man with light colored skin and hair with vivid green eyes says. “What have the Apothecaries said are the reasons the infants did not make it?”

“The first failed due to an enemy of mine managing to feed my Astarte with something that had it miscarry,” The Lord Orsais says with a frustrated scowl, “and I have gotten my recompensation for that stunt.”

“Getting Revenge of fools who wrong you is an excellent way to ensure that one’s reputation is exactly as they wish it to be,” One of the trainers agrees with a look of dark approval on their face.

“The Second pregnancy, my astarte had a set of triplets,” The Lord Orsais goes on to explain, “One came out stillborn, another died during childbirth with its umbilical cord strangling it to death and the third child died within several hours of birth. The reason? Failure to thrive, despite the best efforts of my Apothecaries to try and get it to survive.”

The Lord Orsais takes a sip of tea to wet his throat as he butters a scone with some clotted cream and jam. 

“A truly tragic series of circumstances,” Another one of the trainers says sympathetically.

“Yes, indeed it is,” The Lord Orsais says as he delicately sets down the cup of tea on its matching saucer. “This particular Astarte was given to be by the Imperial Fist Chapter. In Petrico’s file it had a warning tag of possible psyker. However, the Chapter could never draw out his possibly latent powers.”

“Are you concerned that your Astarte might be consciously or unconsciously using its psykery to… stop the pregnancies from being successful?” The second trainer asked with a frown.

“I know it sounds ridiculous,” Lord Orsais as he gestures with his hands a little, “but, I have to cover all of my bases… and with such lack of success this Petrico is starting to become costly without the results I want.”

“Understandable, Lord Orsais,” The third trainer says with a nod, “And I assume you have hired us to do… some form of training?”

“Indeed I have,” The Lord Orsais says with a nod, “If I can’t get it to give me a successful pregnancy… well. More people fucking it’s cunt and ass as others pay for the rare indulgence of getting to fuck a space marine will help. And- who knows, maybe Petrico will get pregnant again and this possible pregnancy will come to fruition with living and whole infants, or infants.”

“Ah, so you want us to teach him how to be a full service whore?” The first trainer asks to clarify what the Lord Orsais wants of them.

“Yes, that is precisely what I want you to do,” The Lord Orsais says with a nod as he takes a sip of tea.

“We can do that,” The three trainers said with a nod, “It would be best if you introduced us to your new Astarte, and let him know he’s supposed to listen and obey our orders and actions… Angels of Death are, well, highly lethal.”

“Of course,” The Lord Orsais says with a nod. “I do understand that I am still giving you hazard pay to train Petrico, but it should smooth things over if I introduce you three as … specialty trainers that he must listen to, no matter how odd the requests and training seems to him.”

“Are we allowed to fuck him, as part of the training regime?” The first trainer asks. “It’s best to have practical demonstrations so that Astarte knows how to properly pleasure a baseline human of various gender and sexual organ arrangements.”

“But of course!” The Lord Orsais says with a gesture of approval, “And if, somehow, you got Petrico pregnant, I would add a bonus to your pay- of course the child would be mine to raise as I see fit.”

“Naturally, Lord Orsais,” The trainers nod in agreement. “The astarte in question is yours, after all.”

“Excellent,” The Lord Orsais says as he finishes the tea and scones, “I shall show you to the training area I have set up for this. As well as all the manner of tools and toys that you will have at your disposal to train Petrico with.”

The trio of trainers follow after the Lord Orsais and into a room with, “Welcome to the Red Rose room.”

The room is filled with all kinds of sex toys, lube and other implements that can be used during sex. There are crops, whips, cuffs, vibrators, gags, dildos and sex swings. As well as a whelping box and other reinforced equipment that can tie down, and keep an Astarte pinned in various positions.

“This is a very generously appointed room,” The second trainer says approvingly as they see the various implements and toys that could be used to bring about pleasure, pain, and can be used during and before, as well as after sexual acts.

“Thank you,” The Lord Orsais says pleased, “I have not been able to use any of this stuff on my new Astarte yet- he’s not misbehaved enough to deserve a proper punishment. Well, the failed pregnancies, after he’s healed will have him be pregnant again. This second one… will take him a while to recover before I can set you upon him to train.”

“Makes sense, you have to keep your Astarte in at least decent condition in order to use it to carry children, after all,” The third Trainer says as they test out the whips and crops assessingly. The leather is reinforced and sturdy.

“The Apothecaries say it will take two months for his body to fully heal,” The Lord Orsais says with a grumble, “I shall introduce him to the three of you. Have you got to know him and get him used to the three of you in a non-training capacity.”

“Oh?” One of the trainers makes an inquiring noise.

“He can be terribly shy,” The Lord Orsais says, “and slow to warm up to new people.”

“That’s adorable.” One of the trainers says with a smirk. “He sounds like a treat to deal with.”

“He is,” The Lord Orsais says, “Most of the time he’s well behaved and does not bother any of the staff or serfs. I will send you a dossier on him, as well as his regular habits he gets up to when not directly serving me.”

“Thank you for that Lord Orsais, it will be very helpful,” The second trainer says with a nod and a slight bow.

Lord Orsais showed the trio out of the room and gave them access to the room, so they can go in and out of it as they please as well as lock and unlock the doors as they want to do so. Lord Orsais orders one of his Serfs to get Petrico to join him and his new guests at the Orchid Room.

Lord Orsais is pleased to see his new Astarte cautiously enter into the room as his gestures towards his Astarte who slowly walks over and kneels down next him as he introduces his Astarte to the trio of trainers to the Astarte.

“Hello Trainers,” Petrico says after some light prompting from Lord Orsais.

He eyes the trio of baseline humans, something about the three of them just screams trouble. He does not like the way they look at him. The half assessing, half hungry expressions on their faces makes him feel unclean and underdressed despite being in most of his armor and tabards.

“Hello trainee,” One of the trainers says, the way they say it sounds innocuous, but he hears something deep and low in the back of his mind that lets out a warning bell of danger. Despite the fact that they are baseline humans and that as far as he can tell they do not seem to be Chaos Cultists.

“Once you are fully healed from your failed second pregnancy,” One of the other trainers says, “We will begin training you.”

“What kind of training will it be?” Petrico asks with a frown, “I have finished my training to be a fully qualified battle brother.”

“Oh, this does not have to deal with combat,” The third trainer says, something almost sly in their voice and face that Petrico does not like at all.

“Then- what-,” Petrico starts to ask, but gets cut off when Lord Orsais raises a hand and he shuts his mouth.

“No questions about what they are going to train you, until after it starts,” The Lord Orsais says firmly to Petrico.

“... Yes Lord Orsais.” Petrico says trying not to frown harder at that.

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Analysis so bad you don't even know what it's talking about anymore.

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so much more i'd like to do for a ref sheet for tarivan but i dont rlly have the time/energy rn. 😔

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Old drawing, Mono's got an ongoing deal with a local demon priest and it seems to be bearing fruit well. They might need a pump soon if he keeps leaking like this though.

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Word Bearers

by VictorGC-Dibujando

Captain Nimur Ennat / Gal Vorbak Legionary / Tactical Marine / Vharadesh (Javelin) / Tactical Marine

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Blackshields

by VictorGC-Dibujando

Ashen Claws Marine / Vigoras Sky-Hunter (Desolation Hounds)

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Mpreg suggestion: Solaire of Astora ☀️ (Dark Souls)

I am compelled by the idea of tabard

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Erin and G core

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Raeven Devine piloting the Knight Banelash

comm work. Loved reading about this crazy guy.

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send me to silent hill I’ll come back pregnant

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OC design comm for someone on discord - big ol' eldritch milf with a nice pregnant belly, as a treat :)

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Crusaders are almost done.

Was looking forward to painting these guys, but Fine Cast, WT*! That stuff is awful! Not only is it terrible to assemble the minis made from this.... 💩 But painting on the surface is more work as well. Happy to see the back of painting these. Annoyingly, the next 4 minis are Fine Cast as well 😤😮‍💨😢😭

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List of things I'd find compelling in Tarn fics and have 0 time to write.

1. Religious mania, this mf has been high off his ass on every single substance and indoctrinated in a war cult from hell for 4 million years. Bro is having more visions than the goddamn oracle of Delphi at this rate. I think the implicit slow burn horror of realizing how fucked up he is either from his point of view or from another character's would be so goddamn interesting.

2. I just think the DJD being lost in deep space by themselves and forced to escape from some eldritch monstrosity that's beyond mortal comprehension a la annihilation style would be so interesting. Like how does a man who's already got a loose grip on reality with vocal weaponry gonna handle space cthulu?? How's a gaggle of space murder hobos gonna handle a prometheus/alien type of monster invasion? Bonus points for maximum body horror.

3. The implicit message that is Tarn being obsessed with classical music and perhaps able to play it, but never being able to write his own until something breaks him away from Megatron. Maybe he gets into new kinds of media, I feel like once he opens up his horizons he seems like a punk music scene kinda guy.

4. TAKE AWAY HIS T COGS AND DRUGS. I'm serious, put this man in critical condition and going through extreme withdrawals and see what happens when he is no longer capable of having his vices. Does he experience an epiphany? Does he realize how pathetic he is and do something about it? What's the DJD think about it? How does his personality change?

5. I just wanna watch him and starscream stab Megatron to death while holding hands. They've been through 4 million years of absolute shit while both thinking the other one is the "other woman". I just think they should be allowed to make each other worse and also hold hands about it. What better partner for a man seeking global domination than the most loyal bodyguard ever built?

That's the main gist of it for now. I have a master list of things that fascinate me about gods stupidest war criminal, but I don't feel like typing them all up right now. Perhaps I'll make a second post idk. Feel free to use these as you will, just let me read the damn thing.

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Haha I love hormones! Love the way one of them drops and the world suddenly feels scary and lonely and like I'm being hunted for sport. So amazing how the body can do that!