#pseudotrauma

[thesnowchesterfog]

There is a small grave by the sea. I leave flowers there when I can get out of bed. They die quickly in the cold, but. I clear the snow away when it falls. You were always so warm and bright, I don’t want you to be cold. I couldn’t get your discs back- I left a music box there for you anyways. Maybe in the after you can play music again. Maybe you can make your own. Sometimes I can’t make it to the grave and I just. Fall in the snow and lie there. It’s okay, I’m used to the cold. I miss when i wasn’t.

[horrorcrew-diary]

PSEUDOMEMORIES FUCKING SUCK. THIS SHIT IS SO STUPID. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I REMEMBER EXPERIENCING ONE OF THE MOST HEINOUS FORMS OF EXTENDED ABUSE AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR OUR REAL TRAUMAS. H. HUH? WHY?

[our-inspire-verse]

Yall i have like. A mental disorder where you just see every single alternate reality version of yourself. Randomly. Like. Idk i keep having so many flashes of way worse versions of my past life. What is going on dawg!? Am i splitting(i think so <- im in denial)?

Idk but something wicked this way comes.

[burning-alliums]

It’s always “If you want to be a hero, die like one” until I actually want to. Then they decide to care all of a sudden.

[v-is-for-vivienne]

*me, with several unmistakably trauma related disorders, after feeling pretty ok for 30 seconds* I am normal. I am not traumatized

[systemuserboxes]

can we ask for inbox checks??? it feels like my asks never go through on this stupid app :((

sure! currently in our inbox we have :

this system uses parts language and doesn’t care what you think about it

this system mostly has familial inner relationships

this headmate has a twin in-sys

this system is not “traumagenic” they have a fucking disorder

this osdd system hates being called plural

this system is still living with their abuser

This fictive is disgusted by their philia, please don't remind them of that part of their source

this host loves Leshy

this host's system won't let them make it COTL themed

This system uses parts language

This user accidentally relates to traumatized OCs

This Ashley Graves alter does not agree with her source

This alter looks and acts different than before due to fusing and resplitting

this sys needs extra love/comfort during winter nights and summer days

this system is collectively genderfluid

this collective has avPD and social anxiety

this collective has AuDHD

this system is madness combat introject heavy

This system hates oversharing online

This system hates oversharing online

this ever after high fictive is upset its source no longer exists

This user has Cohn’s disease please be patient

This user is disabled

this system loves their best friends

this collective has NPD traits

this part holds NPD traits

this sfw agere blog is run by a system

This system collectively would kick an endo in the balls /hj

this alter has multiple pronouns please use all of them

this alter has multiple pronouns please rotate between them

this alter has multiple pronouns please ask which ones to use when talking to them

this alter fucking hates november sixteenth

this user is a Dalek fictive

this system has a shit ton of tommyinnit introjects

This alter has a complicated relationship with source separation

This fictive has pre-system trauma that isn’t canon and it doesn’t hurt any less

This system has a hard boundary against calling their pre-system memories pseudomemories, pseudotrauma, and false memories

This alter doesn’t give a fuck what you think about in-system relationships

This fictive doesn’t give a fuck about what you think of their pre-system actions

This alter is extremely protective over his wife

This alter is a recovering asshole

this system has age regressors

this alter is an age regressor

this system has pet regressors

this alter is a pet regressor

this system has age regressors and pet regressors

this alter is an age regressor and a pet regressor

this system has autism and bpd, please be patient with them

this system has adhd and gets distracted easily

this system frequently has tics

this alter fears the body's dad

this system fears the body's dad

this introject has severe leg pain

this introject is a pain holder

this alter is aggressive

this system is male

only this systems host is trans

this male system has a female alter

this system has one alter that no one likes

This fictive looks and acts different from their source

this user is a pokemon fictive

this system has a constant tummyache please be patient

this system feels unsafe in hospitals

This system is very little heavy

Some of our littles are very sensitive, please be patient with them

This little is a my melody fictive who loves their source !! Please ask about source as much as you'd like

this wilson fictive is afraid of the dark, closed spaces, and big dogs

this wilson fictive loves willow like a sister

this alter is a caretaker

this alter is a gatekeeper

this alter is a symptom holder

this alter is a mood booster

this alter’s role changes depending on what the system needs

This fictive is trying to separate from source but is having a hard time, please be patient with them

This alter is hypersexual/hyperromantic, please don't flirt with them

this system's special interest is psychology

this system's special interest is DID/OSDD

this system's special interest is DID/OSDD

this alter hates endo “systems”

this fictive is hyperfixated on their source

this system wants more friends, but is scared to reach out first

this alter ask you to not compare them to their source

this alter is so small, size of two sauces

this blog is run by a mask fictive

this headmate is a Percy Jackson fictive

this system is dsmp fictive heavy (and they dont support it)

This system doesnt have a host or co-host but bosses

This alter is a fictive from a book

This alter is a fictive and a fictionkin

This alter is a fictive of a oc

This alter is easily upset

This system needs comfort all times of Christmas

This alter was bad in source, but is trying to be better

This alter regresses

This alter is from a problematic source, but isn't problematic

this alter desperately needs a hug

this alter struggles with relationships

Parents, "parents", and similar figures scare the fcking sh!t out of this system

this system is no longer forced to fake their body age!

this system is still questioning

This system splits easily and ends up with a lot of introjects for their current hyperfixation/special interests that end up fronting very often.

This system splits easily and ends up with a lot of introjects for their current hyperfixation/special interests which is currently the Percy Jackson Series) that end up fronting very often.

this alter looks like a little but isn’t one

this little is mentally a adult

This alter is going to fight the host so they take care of themself

Hey, mama! Yeah, we're like, uh, yass and work and slay and yass over here, like... yass... (joke userbox)

this system is ok with front checks/front asks

This alter is a fictive/introject of Leon S. Kennedy from Resident Evil

this system is anti radqueer

this alter holds anger and has low temper

this mafuyu asahina fictive is semi-intact with their source

this emu otori fictive is semi-intact with their source

this fictive is a trauma regressor

this alter is an oswald cobblepot fictive

this system is a dog

this system is a rottweiler

This alter has memory problems, please be patient

This alter zones out/disassociates a lot, please be patient

This alter struggles with finding words to talk

This CoD alter doesn’t like being compared to their source

this system loves you /p

this system loves their wife and husband, and will fight you if you say otherwise

this alter misses their abuser and this alter still loves their abuser

this system has maladaptive daydreaming disorder

This little is from a media that isn't kid-friendly

this alter has a child in their parnters systems

this alter id's as mspec gay

this alter id's as msepc lesbian

this alter is a panromantic lesbian

this alter is a fictive of a character that doesn't have a canon personality

this alter has a distinct accent

this system is Australian

this system is Russian

This System Has Way Too Many Fictives From Regretevator

this fictive is similar/not fully separated with source but doesn’t want to be compared to it

this system loves animals

((this took so longgg))

[syscultureis]

Plural culture is it being unsafe to interact with your special interest (the only thing that consistently makes you happy) bc you have pseudotrauma from it so parts of it literally cause ptsd responses by proxy ;-;

.

[thehoneybeelibrary]

Made a mistake and joined R/SystemCringe for like 5 minutes.

Some of them had some points and the rest was just absolutely gatekeeping how systems work and I don't mean like "anti endo or mixed origin" I mean like straight up saying systems can't call their systemmates things like "brain buddies" and that "source trauma isn't real" like. Pseudomemories and pseudotrauma is fucking VALID AS HELL. That nobody's headspace works any differently.

Fakeclaiming systems for having certain fictives that. BESTIE. LEMME TELL YA. AREN'T EVEN THAT WILD. I'VE SEEN SOME WILD ASS ALTERS AND THIS WASN'T EVEN A SMIDGE STRANGE.

AND I WILL SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE SYSTEMS IN THE BACK.

If your systemmates/alters all agree on a separate word for how to address each other IT IS YALLS FUCKING BUSINESS AND DO NOT LET THEM TELL YOU OTHERWISE.

I dunno what the actual fuck else I expected from Reddit but the amount of gatekeeping from a cringe community is unreal.

Remind my ass that only my small group is safe bc the misinformation being spread by endos/pro-endos and fakeclaimers is wild. ✌️

[cvntyslut]

𓆩♰𓆪 . . . about me . . . fc tiktok - link here

!! i am an introject in a DID system, i am not claiming that i am the tiktoker i use as my fc. this is not roleplay, do not treat me as roleplay. i am a real person within my system. !!

salem but nicknames sal/sals/sally/lem/les/lessy are fine. i'm nonhuman and have very real pseudomemories/pseudotrauma. i don't remember my exact age but i am an adult. 6'11. abrosexual(male lean) + pangender + ambiamorous Likes; body horror , body gore , intense and realistic gore , horror , fucked up shit , attention any type of attention Dislikes; sensitive fucks who get upset over the tiniest thing she , he , it , thing , being + neopronoun hoard i sometimes use different typing quirks lol. if a translation is needed jus ask. i'm very extroverted and luv making new friends so interact w me however you want lol

touch; yes!! flirting; yes!! petnames; yes!!

[swallowed-by-the-moon]

I don't know if I'm the only one who does this but I traumdump to random ppl just to see their reaction in order to understand if what I experienced was really traumatic or I'm just a spoilt child in a grown up body who uses his pseudotrauma to excuse his spoilt-ness

this shit constantly messes w my head. because my mother often told me I made my "trauma" up just to make her look bad. I mean I don't know how others live. at least I don't starve. but is it normal or is it not? i don't understand because my mother constantly changes from affectionate to hateful and vise versa. she's always been like this and I never knew which one is her true form. I mean her actions just show me how she never wanted me and my sister at the first place because she doesn't even try to be supportive. both me and my sister noticed that she isn't able to actually get into the stuff we like. in fact I guess she wouldn't even be able to tell which colour is my favourite or answer some other basic question about me correctly. I mean she never tried to understand the stuff I liked and called it "stupid". I wasn't physically neglected tho. and idk if staying distant from your kids is neglect it's literally so questionable because alienation is all I've ever known, it seems normal. punishing me by taking the things I love away is 100% not normal tho, making me face a relative who's been abusive towards me both physically and mentally is not okay too

but the fact that my bio parents are not poor makes everything more complicated even. honestly I would give anything to have supportive parents even if we'd live poorly. the thing I understood as I aged was that in fact money bring emptiness. okay yes they can afford to buy us a console, a laptop, a private art college. but all they give me is distraction from the horrible reality stripped of any meaning because I don't have human bonds. I always stay distant. I can't let myself get attached. and videogames are a way out. but it's really not what I want. I mean. I listen to my friend's stories and she often tells me her family lacks money and I'm just. my parents never lacked money (esp for basic needs). does that make me invalid?

I escaped to this art college from a high school where I was bullied and got extremely paranoid amd dysphoric, tried to kms. in fact my mother sponsored me getting out of there and going to tjis art college. but in fact I wouldn't even end up in that high school in another country if they didn't press me for years so I felt an urge to run away as far as I can. they pressed me into choosing a profession that never felt right for me either way. told me that "artists don't earn money" when I said I wanted to be an animation student. is it really all them or am I unable to just be grateful because I'm too spoilt for it?

[necroticneurosis]

and its like, what do i have to be pitied over? im the one that fucked up. im the reason hes out here venting im the reason hes begging his not-actually-his-brother to talk to him im the reason hes dreaming about seeing other gerards on here talking about what hes going through and feeling solidarity dreaming about pseudotrauma dreaming about what ive done. so why does everyone keep patting my back and coaxing me to let it out? im in the wrong. my feelings dont matter here. im usually not one for saying to keep your mouth shut but holy shit you need to stop talking.

[spirallingmoths]

📍

📍- funny story that happened in source memories? (If u have any)

🪐: Uhh, I used to be in a space bike gang, and I'd take my two younger siblings out on bike rides after curfew sometimes without my older sister (who was like our guardian) knowing. Most of our system outside from ⏳️ ans kind of me tends to mainly have pseudotrauma, so we don't really usually have a lot of pleasant pseudomemories if that makes sense

From this ask game <-

[our-inspire-verse]

I am! Not great again! Why I'd did that. Stuff /VeryNegative under the cut

Just. Jesus fucking christ when will these flashbacks stop. I SAW myself die again. And then i also, MORESO have to watch Alder find me again and again. He fucking. Kept yelling my name. He kept calling for me, desperate. He was so hurt. I was already cold. He couldn't do anything, it wasnt his fault. But he tried so hard. And then he sat there for so long.

How could i have not known. Twice. There was an attempt in my timeline but thank fucking GOD i failed. Can you fucking imagine I'd succeeded? Was it better he was alone? What would it have been like if Dan and Cadance were there and i succeeded? Because they helped him when i failed. But something broke in the other timeline within him. I can see it in the way he put his hand on my shoulder. That was something he did in our lifetime, he'd just gently stroke my shoulder. It grounded me, it was affectionate, it felt really nice. I can sense the thoughts in his head. "He can't feel this now"

I've been gone for hours. I probably was before he ever could have made it home. I was alone in my room like that for sO long and i died afraid. Thats all i can think about was how afraid i was. I didn't think anyone cared about me, i know i was more isolated from Dan in this universe. I know i was more cruel to myself. And knowing these are facts of how these things work is one thing. Actually seeing where that switch over was, thats another. The way that allowing love into your life saves you in impossible to know ways. You have to allow people to love you.

You will die without it.

And knowing i didn't have a chance to be saved in this one. Knowing there was a real possibility of it going bad, it wasn't just a silly cry for attention written by a sad artist. It was the possibility of my mental health taking over and ruining my father's(chosen) life. It was the fact that i do have an impact on my future and i have to decide to have one. Theres nothing i can do to help either damned soul now, there's something so uniquely heart shattering about having to live with grief like this. It is not mine, it is of mine. It is of me. It is a holy sensation that i regard with vile distaste. The feeling is important, more important than a lot of things.

Growing up this life i never thought i would live past 10. Then a lot of other numbers. How original. How horrible. It actually is horrible. Desensitization makes. These numbers these thoughts, its hard to recognize im sad about it since its so normalized. But being 7 and suicidal isn't. And i cant believe i carried that and my past life all this time like this. And now that im so aware, ill carry it differently. I can't believe i lived so long. I cant believe im gonna KEEP living so long. I havent felt genuinely suicidal in ages. I can be real, and say the idealization is there, but it's more about the fantasy of getting help for it. But recieving memories like this reminds me of how bad that hurt. For decades. And how bad it hurt alternate or past selves, and those loved ones there. I'm so sorry Alder, i desperately wish there was anything i could do. To take it back, to help heal, to love you better than i did. Your cabin stayed empty, my room stayed where it was, and you stayed alone. Dan stayed over, but not much. You never got to know Cadance. You met briefly and never became friends.

I did all of that. Everything was actually because of me. I can't take that right now. I was resting and these memories wont stop. It's incredible though. How bright the sun is from up here. How even though pain burns more intensely than it usually does from this height, so does the love. How much the love permeated in every crack and crevice last life. How i let the light in and hope filled us all up. Even during loss and pain and torture, even losing each other. It was okay. Because at least it happened.

[welcometothenightcourt]

Pseudomemories

————————————————————

What Are Pseudomemories?

Pseudomemories are memories that an alter holds that the body hasn’t experienced. They may be positive or negative memories, and are most commonly seen in introjects, though any alter can have them.

Are They Real?

Both yes and no. These memories are very real to the alter who holds them. It’s important to keep that in mind. They can cause that alter serious and very real pain and trauma symptoms (if negative), or very real comfort (if positive). They are a part of that alter and help make them who they are. Their memories are extremely real to them, and you shouldn’t discredit their experiences.

Their memories are also created by the body’s brain, and therefore are going to be connected in some way to the body and its experiences. They might not be directly what the body has experienced, but like all things alter-y, they do serve to hold some form or trauma or to provide some system comfort or help the system or that alter in some way

However, the body hasn’t necessarily experienced these things. An alter should be aware that their memories, while very real to them, do not apply to the body, and when talking about them, should be able to make that distinction.

What If They Can’t Make That Distinction?

Some alters may not be able to make that distinction, but it’s not your place to get on them for that. You might try to explain it once, but if the alter doesn’t grasp it, leave it alone. That’s a job and thing that should be approached gently and cautiously over time with a professional who knows them and their system.

What Do I Do If I Have Pseudomemories?

If you have pseudomemories, then you should try your best to remember that they are very real to you, and your memories, experiences, and self are valid. If possible, try to find that distinction between your memories and body memories. If you can’t, then that’s alright, too.

If you have negative, trauma-infused pseudomemories, (also called pseudotrauma or exotrauma) then you’re probably going to have some trauma symptoms like PTSD, triggers, flashbacks, etc. try your best to learn healthy coping mechanisms, grounding steps, good people to contact if you need help, and other ways that help you manage those symptoms. I know that personally, I like to talk to a system caretaker or emotional supporter, or write out what I’m remembering or experiencing in a personal, private journal.

If you have positive pseudomemories, then feel free to use them when you’re feeling down as a way to cheer you up, or use them to find comfort and happiness in.

Either way, I would recommend trying to find a therapist or other mental health professional. If that’s currently not a possibility for you, then do your best to have coping mechanisms, and treat them as your own memories and trauma, because that’s essentially what they are. If you’re having a difficult time with them, then try talking to someone or writing them down somewhere. No matter what, know that they don’t make you a faker or invalid in any way.

[themechanicalanimals]

my friend iida wrote an essay on pseudomemories and pseudotrauma, and is letting me share it on here ! Exomemories, Pseudomemories, Exotrauma, and Pseudotrauma: What you are Allowed to Claim

What is an exomemory? An exomemory is a term which refers to memories of an introject which happened in their source material. This term is more commonly used in endogenic spaces, for the reason of: What is a pseudomemory? Much like an exomemory, pseudomemories are memories of events which occurred outside the body, usually referring to something that happened in an introject’s source. The prefix “pseudo-” upsets some because it implies the memories are not real. However, they sort of are not. More on this later. What is exotrauma and pseudotrauma? Taking after the previous terms, these are a subset of exo/pseudomemory which refers specifically to trauma. This is where things start to get tricky. Where does pseudotrauma come from? Pseudotrauma, specifically in introjects, exists to cover up real trauma that the body has gone through. Although you may not know it, which is kind of the point, that trauma is real. Fictives with specific trauma most often split specifically to help deal with the trauma the brain has latched onto this character sharing. EX: I am an introject of the character Iida Tenya, he has major knife trauma and sibling issues. My existence helps the traumatized child brain that is DID to recontextualize the concept of near-death experience as something simpler and safer to understand, “hero fights villain” Pseudotrauma vs pseudotrauma: what if you remember a trauma that did not happen to the body, or you think it did not? Well, in this case, what you are experiencing is an interpretation of what your brain thinks that trauma would be like. You cannot claim this as anything more. The issue with exotrauma: the reason exotrauma, and by extension exomemory, comes to be problematic is its widespread usage in the endogenic community. Endogenic systems are not formed from trauma (or even a real thing but that is for another essay). Their memories do not exist to help a traumatized child brain cope with unimaginable trauma. Their “trauma” never happened to them, and they choose to claim it did by way of exotrauma. What can you claim? Obviously, if you have pseudomemories of your time as a hero-in-training with car engines for legs, that is not something you could possibly have experienced in your current body. However, this is the kind of thing that it is not harmful to claim as a memory. No one gets hurt because you have a fake memory of snow even though your system lives in the desert. Memories are something you can claim. Trauma that you did not go through, you cannot.

[antirealisation]

I’m gonna pseudostrangle the next person I see unironically use the word “pseudotrauma”. :’)