#prompt: disability/neurodivergence

[trans-axolotl2]

Fuck the DSM. Seriously, fuck the DSM.

The DSM is and always has been used primarily as a method of rationalizing mistreatment of the people it labels as "deviant." When you look at the history of psychiatry, it becomes clear that things like drapetomania, protest psychosis, hysteria, and homosexuality as a disorder were not just thrown into there randomly. Rather, it showcases the power of the DSM: labeling and categorizing ways of being as mental illness opens up new paths of incarceration, social control, and curative violence. I need people to understand that the modern DSM still works like this: these classifications of madness/mental distress/neurodivergence into psychiatric labels encourage society to treat madness/mental distress/neurodivergence with the apparatuses used to eradicate "deviance." Diagnosis is not neutral.

As mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people, we deserve access to more explanatory models of madness/mental illness/ neurodivergence than what the psychiatric language of normalcy and disorder offers us. Whether this looks like rejecting diagnosis, embracing varying cultural understandings of mental experience, or any million different ways of interpreting our bodymind, we deserve the option to move beyond clinical language that tries to convince us not to trust ourselves. We deserve to view ourselves wholly, leaving room for all our experiences of madness/mental illness/neurodivergence--the meaningful, the terrifying, the joyful, the exhausting. We deserve to have our own relationship with our madness, instead of being pushed to view ourselves as an inherent "danger to self or others" simply by existing as crazy.

Here's another truth: I hate the DSM, and I still call myself bipolar, a diagnosis that came to me through psych incarceration. While I wholeheartedly reject the DSM and the system intertwined with it, I simultaneously acknowledge and believe that many of the collections of symptoms that the DSM describes are very, very real ways of living in the world, and that the distress that they can cause are very very real. When I say fuck the DSM, I don't mean "Mental distress, disability, and neurodivergence aren't real." Rather, I mean that the DSM can never hold my experience of what it is like to be bipolar, the meaning I derive from experiencing life with cyclical moods. The DSM can't hold within its pages what it's like to see my mood cycle not as a tragedy or disaster, but instead as an opportunity, a gift, to grow and shift and go back to the same place over and over again, dying in winter and blooming again in spring. The DSM can't hold the fact that even though I experience very, very real distress due to those mood cycles--they're still mine and I claim that as something that matters to me. I call myself bipolar as a shorthand to tell people that I experience many things both extreme high and low, but I do not mean the same thing when I say "bipolar" as a psychiatrist does.

When we build community as mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people, I want us to have room to share, relate, and care for each other in ways that isn't calling to the authority of a fucked up system with strictly defined categories. I don't want us to take those same ways of thinking and rebrand it into advocacy that claims to fight stigma, but really just ends up reinforcing these same ideas about deviance, cure, control, and danger. I dream of the day when psychiatry doesn't loom as a threat in all of our lives, and I think part of that work requires us as mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people to really grapple with and untangle the ways we label and make meaning of our minds.

ok to reblog, if you want to learn more about antipsychiatry/mad studies check out this reading list.

[petrichoremojis]

[ID: A drawing of a large white speech bubble containing a green command prompt symbol, which is a green arrow pointing right and a low line. End ID]

A symbol for 'prompt'.

[weirdstrangeandawful]

TW: scars

Caretaker sewing seamless clothes or clothes with artful seams on the outside for Whumpee with hypersensitive scarring or other sensory issues.

[fandomsoda]

The Autistic Experience - a poem (tw for general hardships relating to said topic)

Start out and everything is going as it should You start figuring out what you find bad or good You feel so much and have thoughts so deep, a fully fledged person One who possesses many likes and opinions

But suddenly you meet other people and they’re talking to you like aliens. None of their rules or what they say are making any sense Never saying what they mean, bizarre etiquette And acting like you’re the weird one if you don’t get it

Dehumanized, overstimulated Outcast, hated Back you up into a corner like an animal in a cage And in a moment of fear you can only lash out in what looks like rage

And because of these people you feel unequal Start thinking that you really are feral They’ve got us relating to robots We feel human, but they say we’re not

We look the part And feel the same But society disagrees All because we have special and unique needs

Claim we don’t have feelings. They cry “changeling!” Or try to rebrand us as genius But either way the things they say aren’t how they should see us

But when we find each other Something special happens We can connect And have meaningful interactions

Speak the same language figuratively And understand each other A sense of belonging and unity Siblings, sisters, and brothers

Stimming when we get excited Special passions get ignited Happiness finally invited There is a joy that sparks

And we will continue to survive Even if existence is hard

[poetryorchard]

Sprites of the Orchard! We are postponing our Disability Pride Month Open Mic until 29 July - there's still time to sign up!

Attendee: https://eventbrite.com/e/667691241477 Performer: https://forms.gle/WKpKiELPtfpAhKo49

[cy-cyborg]

Disability Tropes: The disabling change of heart

When a character in a story becomes disabled, they'll sometimes experience a trope that I like to call "the disabling change of heart". This is when the character goes through a massive change in their outlook, their personality, their goals or even roll in the story, specifically because they became (or are about to become) physically disabled. Sometimes, this will be in relatively small ways: the happy-go-lucky comedic relief character might become bitter, angry and jaded after getting into an accident that caused a spinal injury, or the severally depressed and nihilistic character might suddenly start acting more cheerful and hopeful, stating that loosing their leg has "put things into perspective and showed them what really matters". In other cases though, the impact is much larger, the heroic character you've been hearing about looses an arm thanks to the main character's actions, causing them to become consumed with anger and self-loathing which they take out on everyone else, eventually becoming an antagonist as they seek revenge for what the main character did to them. The morally grey or even villainous character is injured by their own scheme, giving themselves a permanent disability in the process, which prompts a change of heart and leads them to turn their lives around and become better people, maybe even deciding to team up with the heroes.

Now, having a character go through a personality and goal change due to a major life event, such as becoming physically disabled, isn't inherently bad. A lot of writers are told to tie major shifts in your character's development to major life events, because realistically, something like becoming newly disabled will at least impact how you view the world around you. I very frequently talk about how if I didn't loose my legs, I would have become a vastly different person, but the issues with this trope depends on how it's used and the reasons behind these developments, and whether or not the change suits the character in question.

Before we get into things, I would like to specify that in this post, I'm only going to be talking about how this trope is used with physical disabilities and other easily visible forms of disability. It does show up with characters who develop disabilities under the mentally ill and neurodivergent umbrellas, and is actually a bit more common than what I'm talking about today, but the specific ways its utilised are so different that it's more or less a separate trope, and one that deserves much more attention than I could give it here as this is already going to be a pretty long post. So for today, I'm keeping to it's use with physical and visible disabilities, and we'll talk about how this trope is used with neurodivergence and mental illness another day.

The main thing you need to be mindful of is ensuring that you, as an author, are not including your ingrained biases about disability into the reasoning behind the change. Let's look at one of the examples from before, an evil character who, after loosing their arm (because it's almost always loosing an arm for some reason) becomes a villain and wants revenge against the main character. In a story like this example, the character who became an amputee often views this new disability as something that has ruined their life. It's something that has caused them to suffer, and they want to make the main character (or whoever has "wronged" them) suffer like they did. Stories like this example portray disability as something that is not just horrible, but life-destroying, especially with villains who become all-consumed by the misery this disability has brought them. Many stories that utilise this version of the trope also often perpetuate the idea that if you become disabled, you'll have to give up all the things you love and your goals, even when this wouldn't necessarily be true for the character in question.

Let's say your character was a knight, and the main character cut off their arm in a training accident. obviously you can't be a knight with only one arm because you can't fight anymore, so they left their order. Now this character has become a villain and has found power that "makes up" for their disability, perhaps magic or some other force that doesn't exist in the real world, and are back to get revenge on the character for ruining their lives. Here's the thing though, the loss of a limb, or at least, the loss of an arm specifically, often isn't the career ender people think it is, even back then. In fact, there are many historical records of real amputees continuing to serve as knights and other similar military roles after loosing an arm or at the very least, continuing to fight in other ways. One such example was Götz of the Iron Hand, a mercenary knight who lost his arm to a cannon. Götz had fought as part of the Roman empire's military in 1498, but shortly after left to form his own mercenary company. He lost his hand in 1504 and continued his career as a mercenary with the help of an iron prosthetic capable of holding his sword and the reigns of his horse, among many other things such as writing, for another 40 years. Götz wasn't unique in this though, several suits of armour from the same time period have been found with integrated prosthetic hands, though the names of their owners are unknown. There was also Oruç Reis (aka Aruj Barbarossa), A privateer admiral who served the Ottoman Empire in and around the Mediterranean who lost his left hand - earning him one of many nicknames: Silver-Hand, thanks to the colour of his prosthetic. Oruç, like Götz, continued his career for several more years until he was eventually killed in 1518.

My point in bringing this up, is to highlight how important it is to double check that the reason your character's whole motivation for turning to villainy, isn't just based on your ideas about what a disabled person can or can not do. Actually double check it, research it, especially if it's important for your plot.

Even in the cases where the disability in question actually would stop someone from being able to do something, the incorrect assumptions can still occur and cause issues in different ways. For example, a character in a more modern setting who looses their arm due to an accident the main character was responsible for while serving in the military would be discharged, ruining the character's plan to become a general some day. This absolutely would be devastating for a character like that, and they realistically could struggle to adjust, both in terms of getting used to their disability and finding new goals for their life. They may well feel anger at the main character, however, if you are portraying just living with a disability, in the case of this example, living with an amputation as inherently "suffering" for no other reason than they are disabled, it is still perpetuating those really negative ideas about disability. I've said this a few times in other posts, but villains who are evil or even just antagonists purely because they're disabled or are trying to avoid becoming disabled is a trope all its own and one that is best avoided if you yourself aren't disabled, as even outside of spreading these negative ideas about life with a disability, it's just an overdone and overused trope.

But what about when this trope goes in the other direction? when you have an antagonistic or even just morally grey character who becomes disabled and this is the catalyst that turns them into a good guy?

For the longest time, I knew I usually disliked this version of the trope too, but I couldn't put my finger on why. With disability being the reason someone became a villain, the underlying reason it's there is often able to be boiled down to "I, the writer, think being disabled would be terrible and life like that is inherently suffering, so this character is angry about it," which is obviously an issue (the "inherently suffering" bit, not the anger). However, when a character becomes good due to becoming disabled, the reasoning is usually more along the lines of, "this is a big change in a character's life that has caused them to reconsider and revaluate things" (or at least, that's what I thought). This isn't bad, nor is it necessarily unrealistic. Hell, as I already said, I do consider my disability to be a catalyst that made me into who I am today. I also know plenty of people who, after becoming disabled later in life, did have a big change in how they viewed themselves and the world, and who consider themselves better people since becoming disabled. It's far, far from a universal experience, mind you, but it does happen. So why did this version of the trope still not sit right with me?

Well, I think there's a few reasons for it. The first being that there's a tendency for non-disabled people to think real disabled people are just incapable of evil deeds, both in the sense that they aren't physically capable of doing them (which is bad and not even always true for the reasons we already discussed), but also in the sense that there's this idea that disabled people are, for some reason, inherently more "good" and "innocent" - As if breaking your back or loosing a limb causes all evil and impure thoughts to be purged from the body. This is a result of many folks viewing disabled people as child-like, and thus attributing child-like traits (such as innocence) to them, even subconsciously. This is an incredibly common issue and something disability rights organisations are constantly pushing back against, as this mentality can cause a lot of unnecessary barriers for us. With how often I and many other disabled people are subjected to infantilization, I would be honestly shocked if it wasn't at least partially responsible for people thinking becoming disabled is a good reason to kick off a redemption arc.

This infantilization isn't unique to physically disabled people by the way, in fact it's way, way, more commonly directed at people with intellectual and developmental disabilities - or at least, people are more open about it, but as I already mentioned, how that is reflected in tropes like The Disabling Change of Heart is vastly different and deserves a post of it's own.

That's mostly just speculation on my part though, since that infantilising mindset does show up a lot in media, but not usually as part of this trope specifically.

However, it's not the only reason I wasn't a fan of it. When the disabling change of heart is used to fuel redemption arcs, I think, once again, that the disability itself being credited with causing the change directly is another factor. When this happens, it's usually because "it put things into perspective for me and showed me what really mattered."

This sounds better than our previous example on the surface, but stories that use this logic are often still portraying disability as an inherently bad and tragic thing, something so bad, in fact, that it makes all the other (legitimate) issues they thought were massive before seem so small by comparison. This is a type of inspiration porn: content made to make non-disabled people feel inspired or just better about their own situation. It's the mentality of "well my life is bad, but it could be worse, at least I'm not disabled like that!"

In a fictional story, this might look like an athlete character who dreamed of making it big so they could be famous and get out of poverty. They were a dick to anyone who got in their way but only because they were worried about not being able to make rent if they don't constantly win. One day though, they overworked themselves and got into a car accident on the way home because they were too tired, and now they're in a wheelchair and can no longer walk, which is (supposedly) absolutely tragic and way worse than anything else they were already going through. But they end up becoming a better person because it has put things into perspective for them. Yeah they were struggling to make ends meet, but at least they weren't disabled! Now that they are, they know they shouldn't have cared so much, because money doesn't matter when compared to not being able to walk, right?

As well as portraying disability in a negative light, these kinds of stories dismiss and diminish the other struggles or challenges the character is experiencing, placing the status of "not disabled" above all else.

There's also the fact that, when a lot of real people say their disabilities had positive impacts on their lives, they don't usually mean the disability itself is directly responsible for the change. There's exceptions of course but for myself personally, and most of the people I know who say they are better people because of/since becoming disabled, the disability has been more of a neutral catalyst than the actual cause of positive change. Meaning, it opened the door to allow those changes to happen, but it wasn't the direct cause. For me personally, becoming physically disabled at a young age didn't make me a nice person like people expect, I was still a little judgemental asshole for a lot of my childhood. However, because I was disabled, I had to travel a lot, initially because I needed medical treatment that my local hospital wasn't equip to provide, and later, because I started competing in disability sports. because of both of those things, I met people I never would have otherwise who made me reconsider what I'd been taught on a wide range of subjects, and made me question where those beliefs had come from in the first place. When I say my disability played a part in who I became, it wasn't because my disability itself change me, but it helped me meet people who were positive influences on me and my life. but when creatives make characters who experience arcs like this, they ignore this, again, defaulting to the "this was a bad thing that just put all my other problems into perspective" reasoning.

Some iterations of this trope also use disability as a kind of "karmic punishment" where the disability is portrayed as a rightfully deserved punishment for an evil character's deeds - usually something relating to the disability they acquired but not always. An example might look like an evil tyrant who punishes the rebels they captured by cutting off their hands. Eventually, this catches up with him, maybe the friend or a child of one of the rebels is able to capture the tyrant and cuts his hands off as payback so that he gets a taste of his own medicine, a taste of the suffering he imposed on others. Now facing at least one of the same realities of the people he subjugated, he realises the error of his ways. With some pressure from the main characters, he has a change of heart and surrenders himself, steps down to let someone else take his place, or perhaps he decides to start changing policies to be more in-line with these new morals until some other character usurps him, becoming an even bigger threat than the previous former tyrant.

Once again, stories that use a disability like this are still portraying the disability as an overall inherently bad thing, but there's the added layer at play in this example. The thing is, there are a lot of people in real-life who actually believe disability is a punishment from God. I remember one time when I was over in the US, an older lady came and sat down on the seat beside me on the bus and started asking me about my disability and specifically, how I became disabled. This isn't an unusual interaction, it happens fairly regularly whenever I use public transport, but on this particular day, the conversation suddenly shifted when I told her I became disabled when I was very young. This woman, despite the bus-driver's best efforts to get her to stop, ended up lecturing me for an hour and a half (during which time I couldn't move due to how my wheelchair was held in place) about how my disability was punishment from God for my parent's sins. She then tried to convince me to attend her church, claiming they would be able to heal me. And the thing is, this isn't an uncommon experience.

A lot of disabled people are targeted by cults using this same method: they'll convince people their disabilities are a punishment, make them believe they deserved it, that they just weren't good enough, but don't worry, if you repent and come to our specific church we can heal you. There was even a case in Australia recently that uncovered a cult called Universal Medicine, who taught that disabled people were reincarnations of evil people, and that being disabled in this life was their punishment, as well as that parents who have disabled children were being punished for other sinful behaviours. They were found to be operating a disability care service named Fabic that was being paid for by the NDIS, a subsection of the Australian government funded healthcare system that specifically aids disabled Australians by paying for and subsidising treatments, technologies (such as mobility aids) and other services relating to their disability. Fabic was found to be stealing excessive amounts of funding from their disabled clients under the guise of therapies and carer services, but was not actually helping their clients at all. Whether it's just taking advantage of them to get their money, or actually using this logic as a justification to mistreat them, this mentality of "disability is a punishment" actually gets real disabled people hurt or worse, and so seeing it come up in media, even if there is no ill-intent, can be very distressing and uncomfortable for disabled audiences.

So with all this being said, is the disabling change of heart a trope you should avoid in all it's forms and versions? No, but it does need to be handled with extreme care. I do think it should be avoided as a reason for a character becoming evil for the most part. If that really can't be avoided in your story though, at the very least, ensure that you foreshadow the change. Your happy little ray of sunshine, embodiment of sweetness and innocence type character probably isn't going to turn murderous and want revenge for an accident for example. A character who is likely to be driven to that kind of extreme of wanting revenge for their disability, so much so that they become a villain, probably already had at least a few traits that would predispose them to that line of thinking already, before becoming disabled. As for when it goes in the other direction, and you have a character becoming a good guy, avoid using the reasoning that "the disability put things into perspective for me". Instead, if you must use this version of the trope, use the character's new disability as the reason they encountered other people and situations that challenged their views, things they wouldn't have encountered otherwise. No matter the reason though, be very careful to avoid inspiration porn, and as always, try to find a sensitivity reader to give your story a once-over, just to make sure something didn't slip under your radar.

[Thumbnail ID: An illustrated image showing the same elf character twice. The picture of her on the left shows her laughing evilly, two tiny horns protruding through her brown hair. She is wearing a black dress and red shoes. On the right shows her in a yellow dress, sitting in a bright pink wheelchair with her head held eye and her eyes closed. The horns have been replaced with a glowing halo. In the centre is text that reads: "Disability Tropes: The disabling change of heart." /End ID]

[bungo-stray-disabilities]

BSD DISABILITY WEEK PROMPTS (2024)

Thank you all so much for voting on the poll. The event will be happening July 14th-July 20th. Here are the prompts. There are two prompt lists, one with general, more vague prompts, and one with more specific, pointed prompts. Feel free to pick and choose which ones you use.

General prompt list / prompt list A:

Physical Disability - July 14th

Mental Disability - July 15th

Experiences with ableism - July 16th

Mobility Aids & accommodations / accsesability - July 17th

Chronic Illness - July 18th

Self Care - July 19th

Free Space - July 20th

Specific prompt list / prompt list B

Hypermobility - July 14th

Blindness - July 15th

Deafness - July 16th

POTS - July 17th

Neurodivergency - July 18th

PTSD - July 19th

Genetic Disorders - July 20th

Note: Please keep in mind that you do not have to follow these prompts, or use them on these days. I'm really sorry that i couldn't fit every disability on here, i did the best i could to make a pretty wide range of prompts. If you make any disability related fan content feel free to tag it for bsd disability week 2024!!!

[science-fiction-is-real]

The constant presence of advertising makes the world less accessible to neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD.

I cannot read a website with GiFs going off in the background, much less videos or pop-ups.

I tried to pump gas today and a video was playing right next to where I was supposed to answer prompts about my credit card. It threw me off track.

Billboards on the road to deliberately distract us while we are driving.

Those of you involved in the fight for disability rights, please talk about this, please reblog this.

[neurodivergent-tech-week]

Happy Disability Pride Month! Neurodivergent Tech week is right around the corner.

We are a celebration of Tech, neurodivergence, and what he means to us running through July21-July 27.

Want to participate? Check out our prompts!

[nanowrimo]

5 Tips for Building a Sustainable Writing Practice

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. First Draft Pro, a 2023 Camp NaNoWriMo sponsor, is a great writing app—whether you’re writing solo or with a co-author. Here are a few tips for building a sustainable writing practice, brought to you by author Ariana Brown and First Draft Pro.

We’ve all heard the advice to “write every day,” as if it were that easy! Translation: suck it up, no one cares if you’re tired. But what if there was another way to get writing done, without being unkind to yourself? 

Hi, I’m Ariana Brown, and I teach writers how to create a writing practice that is sustainable, flexible, and fulfilling. Most of my students are chronically ill, disabled, neurodivergent, or simply exhausted from the daily stresses of life. I know writing isn’t your only responsibility—capitalism makes sure of that! But I strongly believe that writing should be an enjoyable activity you look forward to.

Below I’ve compiled my top tips for exhausted writers who want to be kinder to themselves—and still get the work done.

1. Add pleasure to your writing routine.

Sensory pleasures are neither frivolous nor are they only for children. They’re a crucial part of being alive! They give us something to look forward to when times are tough and we need motivation. Candles, soft blankets, cold beverages, mood lighting, dance breaks, yummy treats—whatever you choose, make sure it’s something you love. Paint your nails a fun color so you have something beautiful to look at while you’re typing away. Make a playlist of your favorite songs and after you finish a chapter, blast one song so loudly you have to get up and dance. Then, get back to writing. Remember, even for the most focused among us, pleasure is a better motivator than shame.

2. Be clear about your intentions.

What brought you to writing in the first place? For some, it was the ability to escape into our imaginations. For others, it was the chance to finally express what we’d been holding inside. Identify your reason for writing, then ask yourself: Am I still enjoying this? Do I still feel connected to my reason for writing? If not, explore how you can strengthen your connection to your inner child’s reason for writing. 

3. Work with your brain, not against it.

If we know that everyone’s brain works differently, why do we force strict discipline and linear processes on ourselves? My advice: find or create a writing process that works for you. Maybe you love outlines; maybe you prefer to see where the words take you. Either way, make space for wandering, play, and discovery as you write. Take brain breaks. Doodle, map, dance, and draw when you get distracted. Body double with other writers, try new exercises and prompts to make the writing sing, and take plenty of breaks to stretch your body and talk to friends. We come to writing with our whole selves. Listen to your body, don’t shut it off.

4. Find a writing community.

You don’t have to wait for a community to come to you! I offer co-writing sessions on Zoom four times a month for my Patreon supporters, but do what works for you. Attend local open mics as an audience member and cheer on your peers. Invite your best friends to your living room once a month for a two hour writing/crafting session. Or check your local library and bookstores for free workshops and author events. You don’t have to do this work alone.

5. Develop a gratitude practice.

Finishing your draft is a huge accomplishment, but it’s not the only milestone to be celebrated. Consider creating opportunities to thank yourself throughout your writing practice. You’re doing an amazing and difficult thing. The fact that you keep showing up is worthy of celebration. Whether you decide to journal, rest, pray, meditate, or reward yourself, a little gratitude goes a long way.

Ariana Brown is a queer writer from San Antonio, TX, based in Houston. She is the author of We Are Owed (Grieveland, 2021) and Sana Sana (Game Over Books, 2020), and a national collegiate poetry slam champion. Ariana holds an MFA in Poetry, MS in Library and Information Science, and a BA in African Diaspora Studies and Mexican American Studies. She has been writing, teaching, and performing for over a decade. Follow her online @ArianaThePoet and www.arianabrown.com. 

[noodlesoup1819]

i've been playing with some ideas for bsd disability week (go check it out if it sounds interesting!! I've moved some of the prompts around to fit my ideas best so go check out the original list!!) my current art/ headcanon ideas are:

14th - physical disability/blindness - Tachihara with a guide dog (maybe hanging out with jouno??)

15th - mental disability/neurodivergence - autistic Ranpo stimming (probably featuring poe + support animal karl somehow)

16th - POTS/Genetic Disorders - Dazai with POTS/EDS (undecided how to go about this one. Send me ideas if you have any!!)

17th - Mobility aids, accommodation & accessibility - Atsushi with forearm crutches/cane (you cannot convince me that his legs repeatedly cut off has had ZERO effect on him)

18th - Chronic illness - Sigma with endometriosis (very self-indulgent on this one)

19th- Self Care - Chuuya with chronic pain (ft. dazai taking care of him)

HOWEVER I have a dilemma for the 20th!! I'd like to do something with undiagnosed chronic illness/disability since that's a big part of a lot of disabled/chronically ill individuals journeys but I'm not sure which character i should do

[hyperlexichypatia]

You don't have to be "happy" to deserve the freedom to control your own life.

It's easy to justify people's right to live their lives as they choose with "Let them do whatever makes them happy!" or "As long as they're happy, who cares?"

I've said this! But it's not a very effective argument. Because how can you prove that you're "happy" -- a subjective emotional state?

Queer people, disabled people, fat people, Mad/neurodivergent people, people in stigmatized relationships, are constantly told that we're wrong about our own happiness. That we think we're happy, but this false belief is part of our Mental Illness(TM). No one Like That could ever really be happy!

And this prejudice is fundamentally unfalsifiable. We can't prove our subjective feelings. If we could, people would somehow redefine "happiness" to exclude what they don't approve of.

I made the mistake of reading the comments on this article about age differences in relationships which literally has the headline "They say they're happy. Why is it so hard to believe them?" Of course, the commenters were all too eager to answer the rhetorical question. "If they were really happy, they wouldn't need to say so" (maybe they're sick of being asked). "People in situations like that don't know what's really going on, they think they're happy!" (what, exactly, is the difference between thinking oneself to be happy and actual happiness?).

(Side note for the relationship-specific version of this: I also see a lot of "They think they're in love!" and I have to ask: If people in relatively new relationships are told that "You only think you're in love, you're actually in lust/ a crush/ new relationship energy," and people in established long-term relationships are told that "You only think you're in love, but it's actually complacency/ not knowing any better/ helplessness," is there a magical medium-term relationship duration at which people can actually love their partners?)

You can never prove that you're "really happy," because if someone has already decided that your identity/lifestyle is incompatible with happiness, they will never believe you.

Arguing "I should be free to make my own choices or be myself, because I'm happy this way" will only prompt the response "The fact that you so mistakenly believe that you're happy is proof that you're mentally incompetent, and you should not, in fact, be free to make your own choices or be That Way."

Being constantly "happy" at all times is, also, just a completely unreasonable expectation. Humans have a range of emotions! Experiencing the full range of positive and negative human emotions is not a reason to deny us our rights.

In Jesse Singal's anti-trans hit piece, which I'm not linking to, Singal cites parents of a trans man who oppose their son's right to transition because, according to them, he was depressed after his transition. Now, notably, the son was not interviewed (and he was misgendered throughout), so we have absolutely no idea what his actual emotional state actually was (I don't know if the son ever went on the record anywhere with his own version of his story). But let's assume, for the sake of discussion, that his parents were correct, and he was depressed. So what? Trans people have the right to be depressed! Trans people have the right to the same emotional range as cis people! People's rights should not be dependent on what emotions they do or don't experience.

Additionally, this insistence on "happiness" as a prerequisite for rights, autonomy, and acceptance (willfully) ignores that the denial of rights, autonomy, and acceptance tends to make people unhappy.

Authoritarians think they have a real gotcha with "If you're happy this way, then why are you complaining?" as if people can't be profoundly happy with their identities and profoundly unhappy with how society treats them for those identities.

I am, for the most part, reasonably happy with being a fat, Mad, autistic, queer woman. At least I generally feel no pressing desire to change any of those things about myself. And I am extremely unhappy with the way I am treated for being a fat, Mad, autistic, queer woman.

But there are certainly times when I might think to myself "If I were taller, I could reach that top shelf" or "If I were thinner, I could maneuver into this tight space" or "If I weren't autistic, I could travel more." And at those times, I still deserve autonomy and basic human rights. I might be happy, sad, angry, anxious, excited, blase, or in a state of perfect Zen, and I would still deserve autonomy and basic human rights.

[that-disabled-princess]

Prompt from @hoothalcyon: "the stages of runaan opening up to ethari enough to start to unmask"

The quickest way to a man's heart is infodumping.

Tags: neurodivergent ruthari, disabled ruthari, getting together, first dates, infodumping, tiny bit of angst

~~

Ethari said yes to a date with him. Ethari Ethari. The craftsman apprentice. 

Runaan paces his bedroom as he chooses his outfit, a pile of discarded clothes slowly growing on his bed.

Style over comfort, wouldn’t want to make a bad impression. The knee support sleeve will do today instead of the brace. Don’t forget your compression gloves.

Don’t stim. Keep your hands still when talking. Be polite. Make eye contact. Watch your tone; Lain is always reminding you of that one.

Lain was the one who introduced Runaan to Ethari in the first place. He and Tiadrin knew him from a project they did together, and invited him into their friend group. Runaan was wary of the change, but his friends said nothing but good things about Ethari, so Runaan was willing to give the change a try.

And now they’re going on an actual date.

He doesn’t know enough about Ethari to feel comfortable unmasking. So far, they only interact when Runaan goes to him for weapons, or when Ethari comes down to the training field to make notes.

Don’t fidget with your cane. And whatever you do, do not infodump.

Taking a deep breath, Runaan pulls on the clothes he’s decided on—a long-sleeve blue crop top and pants with thigh slits—and throws open his door. 

He grabs his cane and bag, and leaves for his date.

~

The date is going well. Runaan smiles and nods as Ethari talks about his work, interjecting in all the right places. He can’t talk about his work. Ethari wouldn’t stay if he remembered he could lose Runaan at any moment. If he realized he would have to risk heartbreak every day.

Besides, murder isn’t exactly a romantic first date topic.

Ethari laughs at something Runaan says about magical gems, and Runaan smiles, subconsciously wiggling his hips a little.

“What’s your favorite type of gem to work with?”

“Oh, how could I pick? They’re all so good for different things and have so many different uses! Some are better for weaponry” —Ethari winks at Runaan, who blushes— “others are better for home items, and others still are good for adding something extra to jewelry! And that’s not to mention their magical properties! My favorite would have to be ocean aquamarines, though; they’re harder to come by around here, but produce the most beautiful magic. Moon and ocean magic work so well together—I mean, the moon and the ocean themselves work in harmony! I’d love to get my hands on a rock from the moon one day...”

Runaan is full-on stimming now, rocking back and forth, recognizing this as infodumping.

Moon, that’s attractive.

“What would you do with a moon rock?”

“I would compare it to a moon opal and see how it reacts with it. And see how my arcanum reacts to it, that would be fascinating! If we can connect to the moon when it’s thousands of miles away, imagine how we would react if we had a piece of it right here with us! Imagine the magical properties!”

Ethari pauses, struggling to catch his breath. He’s breathing heavily as he reaches into his bag for what Runaan recognizes as something that helps check your heart rate.

He isn’t the only one with an emergency medical bag.

For the first time, Runaan also notices the cane resting by Ethari’s feet.

All the revelations about Ethari today make Runaan feel more comfortable. He relaxes as he realizes that Ethari is just like him.

~

They drag out the walk back to Runaan’s place as long as their bodies let them, Runaan infodumping about moonstriders.

They’re holding hands. Runaan’s heart flutters every time Ethari runs his thumb along the back of his hand. 

“Moonstriders are amazing creatures, aren’t they?”

“They are! And they’re fiercely loyal once you bond with them.”

Runaan blinks when he realizes they’ve reached his house. He turns to Ethari. 

“Thank you for walking me home. I would love to do this again.”

“Me too! Same time next week?”

Runaan smiles. “Sure.”

He rocks back and forth, unable to express what he wants. He’s not even sure what he wants.

Ethari lets go of Runaan’s hand and raises his hand to Runaan’s face, watching him for any sign of hesitation.

“Can I kiss you?”

Runaan answers by leaning in, Ethari meeting him halfway as Runaan slides his arm around Ethari’s waist. Their canes clink together, and Runaan drops his to bring his second hand up to Ethari’s neck.

It’s a chaste kiss, soft. Runaan moans softly when Ethari’s thumb brushes his ear.

Runaan only draws back when Ethari starts swaying where he stands.

“Are you alright?”

“Um...” His eyes are unfocused as he brings his hand from Runaan’s cheek to his temple. “I... need to sit down.”

“Come inside. I’ll make you something to eat.”

“Okay.”

Runaan picks up his cane and unlocks his front door, letting Ethari in.

[carryon-disability-week]

Carry On Disability Week 2024 prompts are here!

This year's CODW will run from July 21st to July 27th. Be sure to use the tags #carry on disability week, #carry on disability week 2024, and #codw 2024!

Prompts:

Sunday, July 21st: Aid | Struggle

Monday, July 22nd: Lost | Spoonie

Tuesday, July 23rd: Relief | Faint

Wednesday, July 24th: Zebra* | Neurodivergent

Thursday, July 25th: Fight | Learn

Friday, July 26th: Numpties | Mission

Saturday, July 27th: Allergy | Stars

Go forth and create! I can't wait to see what y'all come up with!

Introduction to CODW | FAQ

*Zebra: Folks with a rare disease/disorder. Doctors are taught "when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras", so zebras became a symbol for rare diseases and disorders.

[sapphicnaturalrights]

here are deep dives for each of the prompts for the week! if you have any more questions, our asks are open! as always, feel free to combine as many prompts as you like, just try one, or pay them no attention at all

day 1: heaven & hell / bury your gays

one of the juiciest binaries in the supernatural lore, you could start off the week with getting to grips with the angel and demon sapphics, from ambriel to abaddon. you could focus on heaven and hell together or pick one. or maybe these aren't places, but instead states of mind?

there's a lot to be said about supernatural as The Bury Your Gays show, and now it's time to focus on the sapphics! as jess moore says, "i was dead the moment we said hello". this is a chance to focus on the women the show killed off and how viscerally and violently it did so. you could reclaim that violence, get revenge, or find new meanings in it. you could also explore women in horror, and maybe bury some gays in fun new ways...

day 2: pink / chappell roan

an iconic colour on many a pride flag - the sapphic, lesbian, bisexual, pan, trans flags to name a few - pink holds a lot of symbolism, and for a lot of women, some baggage too. from the barbie fans to not like other girls, what's the first thing to come to mind when you think of pink?

imagine it: what if we had chappell roan on 2021 spnblr. what would you have created then? maybe the most prolific sapphic icon of the present moment, get inspired by her songs, her lyrics, or her wonderfully camp aesthetic.

day 3: came back wrong / monster

you can bring back the gays you burried, but are they still the same? an iconic trope which occurs in the canon of the show, but has endless potential for other women characters too - what if amara brought back [insert dead sapphic here] instead of mary? what is so 'wrong' about how they've come back? women characters are often fridged - killed for men characters' plot development - so how do these resurrected women get their agency back?

what makes a monster a monster? feel free to play with the good/bad, right/wrong, human/monster dichotomy. what about that fraught, tense, intimate relationship between a hunter and a monster? what if you love that monster; what if the monster loves you...

day 4: butch & femme / disabled sapphics

two iconic terms for queer women, butch and femme play with gender identity and presentation. traditionally, butches '...prefer masculine signals, personal appearance, and styles', and femmes '...prefer behaviors and signals defined as feminine within the larger culture' (x). we've all heard of butch!jo, but how many other supernatural women can you experiment with?

for some more reading on the roles of butch and femme in sapphic communities, here is an article by queer studies scholar gayle rubin.

when you hear 'disabled supernatural sapphic' it is all too easy to think of eileen and pamela. but we invite you to get crazy with disabled headcanons too! you could explore how sapphic hunters cope with disabling injuries, how angels and demons learn sign language for each other, or the effects of learning disabilities and neurodivergency on your favourite spn women.

day 5: lavender / one episode wonder

another colour day! as a variation of purple it is another popular colour on pride flags, and as a flower lavender has all sorts of symbolism in sapphic communities. from 'lavender marriages' between lesbians and gay men, to the lesbian 'lavender menance' movement of the 1970s, we invite you to dive deeply into the varied meanings of lavender with this prompt.

one episode wonder is for the women who only graced our screens for a single episode! they are a prominent theme in supernatural and now we get to ask - how are they doing? are they dead or flourishing; how did their experience with the supernatural world affect their connection to the hunting life? did they get into it like charlie? are they still trying to make sense of what happened? undoubtedly they met other women because of it...

day 6: new & niche / gaslight gatekeep girlboss

we all know sapphicnatural is brilliant for rarepairs, and this prompt is a chance to celebrate that! we challenge you to come up with new pairings which have never been conceived before, and get funky with them. you could also find a 'niche' pairing which is not often talked about within sapphicnatural and contribute to growing their sapphicnatural following!

for some inspiration here, check out @mrcowboydeanwinchester's sapphicnatural statistics sheet. pulling from the fics in the sapphicnatural collection on ao3, there is info about how many fics are written about each ship. you could pull from a ship near the bottom of the list, or create your own!

gaslight gatekeep girlboss is the final prompt of the week and it's time for a fun one. here at sapphicnaturalrights we support sapphics' rights and sapphics' wrongs and think you should too!!

day 7: free day

this day is a free space! go wild! you can catch up with something you wanted to work with during the week but didn’t have time for, or just explore something else completely

that's it! make sure you tag all your creations with #sapphicnaturalrights so we can see and reblog your gorgeous work!

[sage-writes-n-coins-mogai]

Hello everyone! I’m planning on making an pride icon headcanon prompt in April to celebrate my birthday! You’re free to join in if you like under the tag “Sage’s Headcanon Event”. Here’s the list:

Mono spec (Lesbian, Gay etc.)

Multi spec (Bisexual, Pansexual etc.)

Asexual | Aromantic | Aspec

Tertiary orientation (platonic, aesthetic, sensual, etc.)

Polyamorous | Ambiamorous | etc.

Trans | Nonbinary

Multigender/Polygender | Fluid/Flux 

Xenogender | Neogender

Genderhorder

Therian | Otherkin | Alterhuman | Etc.

Neurodivergence | Disability

Femme | Butch | Futch 

Omegaverse mogai/liom (sfw)

Atypical Dysphoria | Dissconnomei | Aldernic | Moresever-/Lessever-

Objectum | Objectix | Objectra | Humanotin

Chronosian | Permaregressor

Neo/Xeno AGAB | Altersex

Nonconformity

‘Contradictory’ identity

Headcanon of your choice!

Tagging: @thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra @acetrappolaswife @en8y @honey-makes-mogai @mogai-headcanons @mogaimagic