#professional children

[newyorkthegoldenage]

Child actors, employed with increasing frequency onstage and in radio, had a drama school of their own in the 1930s. The Juvenile Theatre of Art trained them and gave them an opportunity to act in repertory company at Carnegie Hall. It produced four plays in the 1937-38 season for paid audiences. This was the stage door on January 21, 1938.

Photo: Associated Press

[balanchine-ballet-master]

Nutcracker Kids Grow Up

Terry Trucco has a lovely article in Playbill about three current NYCB dancers who performed in The Nutcracker as children.

The Polichinelles in 1985. Photo: Martha Swope --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A hallmark of George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker is its roster of 126 children, aged 7 to 13, in two alternating casts, who all study in the Children’s Division at the School of American Ballet (SAB), New York City Ballet’s official school. A small percentage of those students will eventually move up to the Advanced Division at SAB, and at the end of their studies, a few will be invited to join NYCB, achieving the total Nutcracker experience—returning to Balanchine’s quintessential holiday ballet to perform as adults.

That storied third group includes former NYCB Principal Dancers Peter Boal, Jennie Somogyi, Gelsey Kirkland, and Judith Fugate, among others, as well as current corps de ballet members Shelby Mann, Mckenzie Bernardino Soares, and Rommie Tomasini, who each enrolled in SAB at the age of 6. Now coming back to the production as members of the corps de ballet, which they joined in 2022, they shared their fond memories of those formative years performing in George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker.

Shelby Mann’s earliest recollections of being in The Nutcracker are of playing jacks, a favored pre-show ritual for young cast members, and of her trailing hairpiece in the Party Scene. “My memories of The Nutcracker are so heightened,” she says. “Every time I smell hairspray, it’s like I’m back in the lower concourse of the theatre during The Nutcracker.”

From her debut at age 7 in the Party Scene, Mann sprinted up the Nutcracker ladder, appearing as an Angel, a Polichinelle, a Mouse, and then, at the ripe age of 11, a Candy Cane. “We would all look forward to The Nutcracker each year. It was what defined our childhood and our winter,” she says.

Born into a dance-world family in Harlem—her grandfather Jacques d’Amboise, grandmother Carolyn George, and uncle Christopher d’Amboise all danced with NYCB, and her parents are acclaimed Broadway performers Charlotte d’Amboise and Terrence Mann—Mann discovered her passion for dance through the iconic holiday ballet. “I loved that in rehearsals, because you were playing a character, you got to build your performance. Being in The Nutcracker made me realize that this is what I wanted to do.”

Since joining NYCB, Mann has danced Dolls, Snow, Hot Chocolate, and Flowers, and her affection for Balanchine’s two-act masterpiece—and the camaraderie that develops naturally among the cast, no matter what age—remains undiminished. “I love how The Nutcracker connects to the holidays,” she says. “We all decorate our dressing rooms, have Secret Santas, and bring cookies.”

Left: Shelby Mann as a Polichinelle in 2013. Photo: Paul Kolnik Right: Mann in Waltz of the Flowers, 2022. Photo: Erin Baiano

During his childhood performances in The Nutcracker, Mckenzie Bernardino Soares made a point of watching the effervescent Hot Chocolate. “The music, the spice—I just loved it,” he says. “And I remember thinking, dancing this is all I want to do in my life.”

Fast forward to 2021. As a freshly minted NYCB apprentice, Soares landed his dream role and repeated it last year as a member of the corps de ballet. The verdict? “It’s always a fun time on stage, and you get to show your personality,” he says. “And if it gets a little repetitive sometimes, I just think, well, little Mckenzie would have loved to do this.”

Growing up in Danbury, Connecticut, Soares’ Nutcracker experience was punctuated by long hours in the family car, driving 65 miles each way to rehearsals and performances. “Being on stage made it all worth it,” he says. He also enjoyed supervising the younger dancers backstage during “the gap” when SAB students are too old for children’s parts, and he relished hearing advice from Company members backstage and in the wings. This season, Soares, who added Mouse King to his Nutcracker repertory last year, looks forward to using the roles he dances to expand his artistry. “It’s actually nice that the choreography is the same every day, so it becomes about what you bring to each performance,” he says.

Left: Mckenzie Bernardino Soares as a Soldier in 2012. Photo: Paul Kolnik Right: Soares with Shelby Mann in Hot Chocolate, 2022. Photo: Erin Baiano

Rommie Tomasini remembers begging her mother to let her audition for SAB, where her older sister was a student, and quickly discovering a love of dance. At age 7, she was cast as the Bunny in The Nutcracker. A season as a Mouse and a Polichinelle followed, and for two years, she was Marie. When the time came to begin pointe work, she decided that ballet was her future. “I didn’t want to do anything else after school, and I thought, This is a done deal,” she says.

Her earliest Nutcracker memory dates from her first dress rehearsal. “I was the Bunny, and I remember looking at all the mouse heads on the Mouse King’s crown and being too terrified to pull his tail,” she recalls.

Yet looking back, Tomasini, who grew up on the Upper East Side, marvels at how confident she felt on stage as a child. “I was never nervous. I was just so happy to be out there. I’m amazed at how much we learned about acting and artistry so young.”

Dolls, Snow, Hot Chocolate, and Tea are among the Nutcracker parts Tomasini has performed since she became an apprentice in 2021. But her recollections of being in a swarm of Nutcracker kids, scrutinizing the steps and making up versions of Hot Chocolate, Marzipan, and Coffee, remain vivid. “It’s mind-blowing that we’re now dancing the roles that we once pretended to do backstage,” she says.

Left: Rommie Tomasini as the Bunny in 2011. Photo: Paul Kolnik Right: Tomasini in Waltz of the Snowflakes in 2021. Photo: Erin Baiano

[rona-eser]

It’s good to see you again too, boatman

[weirdglassthing]

LOA Shiptober Day 4: How They Met

October content month was ambitious..

This one took me. Shockingly long. Whoops! I’ll probably end up jumping around the prompt list and it might extend into November 😋

I’ll try to do day 31 on the actual date of Halloween though 🫡

[bethanydelleman]

Something I think about a lot is how in Frozen, Elsa and Anna's parents really wanted to do what was best for their daughters and they tried their hardest but they still got it terribly wrong. They tried to follow the expert advice and failed.

It makes me think of how all of our parents probably failed us in some way, more likely if you were neurodiverse or queer, and how I may be failing my own kids, but the intentions are entirely pure. The parents in Frozen wanted their kids to be safe and happy, they loved those girls to death, but they didn't know how to meet their needs effectively. The best advice at the time or maybe what they learned from their parents was dead wrong. And in Anna's case, it's more about how when one child takes up a lot of time and energy, another may be left neglected unintentionally. Parents with a high needs children and typical children cannot help this, a lot of them can't afford adequate help (in this case, they isolated Elsa for safety and Anne was forced to be isolated too).

The harm and pain matters, but I think the intention does too. If a parent did harm from a sincere wish to do good, it's very different from malicious abuse. Anna and Elsa's parents really wanted to do the right thing.

(I'm not saying anyone deserves to be forgiven, just that I feel a lot of pity for parents who try their very best but get it completely wrong. Also, that "wise" Troll gave super vague advice and I blame him primarily for how Elsa was raised)

[fullmetal-scar-simping]

Average fma fan talking about 03 positively: Man, it's such a miracle that the 2003 anime is written even halfway decently! After all, the writers who, as we know, have never written anything in their lives before [citation needed], they had to work while locked in individual underground cells [citation needed], only fed scraps of fma lore by Arakawa herself [citation needed] while her story was actually fully formed by the first printing of her manga in Monthly Shonen Gangan [citation needed] but they were adapting the initial first volume of manga and oopsy-daisy shot past it [citation needed], so they made up every plot beat, character arc, storyboard, and lore change completely on the fly and very randomly [citation needed]. Even though they tried to 1:1 adapt her story [citation needed, contradicted by existing sources], they fumbled the job and butchered her story, characters, and lore. Arakawa sagely forgave them [citation needed]. But somehow it's a cohesive story?! Wow! Even though the story is sad, dark, scares me, makes me cry, violent, gorey, and my fave ships aren't endgame, so -50 demerits. Still, good job team! A treat! A treat for the monkeys working the typewriters at Studio Bones circa 2002-2004! #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood

[e-the-village-cryptid]

every time i speak to my parents and grandparents i learn new buckwild pieces of family lore

[magnetothemagnificent]

Non-ADHD and non-autistic disabled people whose only idea of ADHD and autistic people is shaped by media depictions of a nerdy white boy or a quirky goth girl with low support needs: "Yeah ADHD and autism are destigmatized and we should ignore people with ADHD and autism in favor of real disabilities. I am very smart and progressive."

Lateral prejudice towards other disabled people will get us nowhere.

[graynide]

in this AU, Krupp and CU are already aware of each other's existence and recently found out that Meaner and SB are also in the same predicament as them. And so they became fast friends because of the fact they relate to one another. As you can see in Exhibit A: Krupp is venting about certain troubling feelings to Meaner

honestly shoutout to @plugboy11's post and his AU that made me think about this dynamic. Ever since i saw Sergeant Boxers' first appearance in the show i was like "Wait- hes just like Cap and Krupp i wonder what his relationship with his counterpart is like." i actually like this concept because I like to think that Krupp has found someone who is like him. veryy intresting

[hijinxinprogress]

Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌ 

Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅

The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’) 

Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’ 

And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him

Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open

But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Session Zero

Hello! I am back! @spotaus get in here friend! Next drabble just dropped!

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

Okay. Before anyhting else. This is in the first spring the guys are in farmtale. Nightmare has been six for almost a year now, like 11 months ish. So the gang has been in Farmtale for like 8 months ish (they have had night with them for 10 months)

Look. You all agreed to this timeline hopping when you started reading my drabbles. I have warned you all at the beginning of this ride. ANYWAY! We going in!

*-------------------------*

Ngihtmare stares up at the building as he keeps a very tight hold on Dust's shirt. Dust still has him in his arms as he calmly waits by the enterance.

Killer had dropped them off for now and was going to park the car while they waited under the little covering by the front door.

Dust nuzzles his skull softly "Hey... it is just for a little while. And I shouldn't be long."

Nightmare just pushes closer to Dust "Why need to even go here? It is stupid. You teach me stuff."

Dust nods "Oh trust me. I agree. I am perfectly able to teach things." Dust looks unhappy as well.

Fauna, the nice deer monster from their town, laughs softly "But unless you actually get registered you aren't allowed to do that."

Dust huffs and Nightmare looks at her "So? Why do i need to go here?" Nightmare could just take a break while Dust gets the stupid license to home school and then they can pick it up again. Dust already said they aren't ina hurry.

Fauna smiles softly "This is also to see how you are doing mentally Nightmare. A lot has happened and your health is important."

Ngihtmare just pushes clsoer ot Dust "I am fine." he is fine. He has his... his four! He has a home and peolpe who care about him. What else could he want? Sure his body aches and if he moves a lot it still hurts... and when he is alone at night the nightmares return. But that is beside the point!

He is happier and safer than he has been for a long time. How can they just not see that?

Fauna smiles softly "Well you have been healing a lot. but this is a good thing! you will get to learn so many things, and they will figure out where you are with your schooling to help you better focus and see where you can learn things. Not to forget other children to play with."

Nightmare freezes at the implication of other children and looks up at Dust begging. Please. Please don't leave him.

Dust nuzzles his skull and mutters softly "I will stay right by your side."

Fauna is clearly about to say something but then Killer rushes unver the cover and pants as he drips water "This rain!! It gets everywhere!"

Dust shoots him a disapproving look "really?"

Killer grins "Had to walk quite the end to get here. No parking places. Well! Lets get this whole mental evaluation over with!" and he marches in. Dust shrugs and follows him.

They check in with the receptionist as Nightmare keeps his skull against Dust's collarbone. He watches as he stays quiet to try and listen. file away eveyrhting he hears and keep an eye on where the exit is. Just in case.

They get to the right room and meet some people inside. The director Augustus and the head teacher Miss March.

They talk for a while and Nightmare just keeps trying to stay plastered against Dust. He knows it is dumb and needy and clingy and he shouldn't be this weak after all he experienced but he is terrified and Dust is safe.

They do the stupid tests and talk and they just keep asking him questions he doens't want or know how to answer.

Then they have lunch and all Nightmae wants to do is go home and sleep in their bed.lay together with his dad- four! His four! and relax. let today pass and never think about it again.

They have a few more talks before they meet up with Augustus again and he smiles at them "I must say i am relieved."

Killer looksup and shoots Dust a look as well.

Dust frowns and Ngihtmare feels hismelf be pulled closer "about what?"

Augustus blinks and chuckles "I am sorry. I didn't mean it in any negative way. It is just. I read the file you put together with miss Fauna and I had been worried. but. It seems like your son is a very strong and brave young man."

Nightmare is unsure how to react and just pushes closer to Dust. He knows it is part of the story that Dust is his biological dad but they joy at hearing that bond being refered between them? It is a lot.

Augustus sighs "There is trauma. that is obvious. However. He speaks for himself. and while scared he just needs some gentle encouragement from either of you to feel reassured. The ability for him to still form these meaningfull and supportive bonds with others really showcases that he is on the right track to heal."

He pulls over another report "The physical health is also healing. Very slowly but with the slow recovery of his own magic it is to be expected and all well within the realm of normal healing."

he sighs as he looks at them "Now... about his schooling. He is a smart kid. Very far with reading and languages. But the other aspects of his schooling are very lacking at the moment. but nothing that can't be caught up with." Augustus waits a moment before continuing "Normally. I would recommend full days here."

Killer hisses and glares "No." Nightmare shrinks closer to Dust as Dust just pulls him closer again.

Augustus nods "I had already assumed that would be your answer." he smiles "I will still have to try. I assure you he will be safe here. We have a top staff that all work together to ensure the safety of the children. We are specialised in offering help for children of bad situations. TO help them heal and experience the things any child should get the chance to experience."

Dust glares "He doesn't want to."

Augustus nods "of coruse he doesn't. It is new and scary. It is away from those who keep him safe. But it would help him grow. help him heal. see that not eveyrone in this world is out to hurt him. that those who hurt him were the outliners and should never have gotten the chance to see him."

Dust frowns as Killer jsut glares "We are not leaving him here for days on end."

Augustus nods "While we recommend the full program we can always do a shorter one. One that focusses on trying to help him catch up wiht his learnign and to just keep an eye in case his mental health degrades." he pulls over another piece of paper and hands it to Killer.

Killer snatches it and reads it.

Augustus speaks calmly "It is half a day a week. Normally for children who spend a long time in a hospital. It will mean that he two hours of private tutoring and after that he would spend an hour with the class before and another hour after lunch." he smiles "a much more gentle introduction to school and being near others."

Killer and dust share a look.

Killer leans closer "And how long would this all take? Seeing as we are planning on home schooling him again as soon as Dust got his license."

Augustus looks thoguhtful "Catching up with the school work will take a long time. mentally healing fuly even longer. But as you are not planning on using the full program we can at least give him a stable start to continue healing from."

Fauna frowns at them "What if it turns out that he likes classes? that he likes being in a group?"

Nightmare shakes his skull as he pushes closer to Dust.

Dust rubs his spine softly and Ngihtmare feels hismefl relax. Killer speaks with a grin "If. and only IF Nightmare says he prefers group classes and stuff. Then we will look into options."

Dust nods as he keeps holding him "It will be a long process. We will need to make sure the people he is near know not to touch him. THe children will have to know to be gentle. Nightmare will have to rest a lot and if anything happens with his magic we would have to be called." Dust looks pointedly at Augustus and Nightmare sees the other shiver under the intimidating glare.

Dust just keeps staring "Which is just the start of the list."

Killer grins and the tension disappears "Which is why one of us will remain nearby just in case!"

Augustus frowns "That would go against the aim of the project to help him build up his ability to trust people. We would be at large of a risk that he could fall back into habits of only going to you."

Killer nods "I dn't see anything wrong wiht that." he glares "We are not leaving him. and you can't make us leave."

Augustus frowns and thinks deeply before nodding "What if. You don't stay in the room with him. but you can remain near? We have our waiting rooms for people between appointments or waiting for pick up. YOu could remain there. That is nearby in case of emergencies and knowing you would be in the building could be helpful to make everything feel safer?"

Nightmare is kinda shocked at how considering this guy is. He had seen others before. Who just demanded everyone do what they say because they know better. And this guy probably knows better. He has seen many people before and helped many people. It is why miss Fauna encouraged them to go to this place in the nearby city over the small town psychologist.

Something about having build this whole thing to help others and everything being specialized to be able to help those who have been hurt in this way.

But here he is... letting them decide stuff.

Killer looks considered and him and Dust share a look. DUst shoots Augustus a look "Why are you being so okay with us wanting things different and special?"

Augustus looks shocked before laughing a bit. Then he smiles "Because we are all different people. Two can have the exact same thing happen to them and have a completely different response to the trauma. Two can have the exact same response to the trauma yet need different healing plans." he sighs "We are all individuals who deal and work through things in our own ways. I can advice the most successful routine and what i have seen works before. But you three will always know you three best. You know what you can and can't handle."

Augustus smiles "Maybe after a very sessions and classes I will have a better personalised idea on what could help Nightmare. But before I can do that I need to get to know him a bit more. The mind is a complex thing. It takes time to understand. And you can't understand it if you aren't willing to listen."

Fauna smiles and nods "THe body is rather easy to heal. It will heal if giving the right things it needs. But the mind won't heal unless it is ready to heal. Until it wants to heal."

Augustus nods "exactly. It takes a lot of effort to work through trauma. But the first step is wanting it. Which is why i won't force a program or routine unto anyone, even if i truly believe it will help them."

Killer and Dust consider it and end up agreeing to talk with everyone at home about it.

They do a few more tests and scans. mostly on his spine and ribs to note down the progress. After that they say goodbye to Fauna and leave the building.

The rain had calmed downa lot and turned into a light drizzle as they walk back towards the truck.

Dust hums and nuzzles his skull "you okay?"

Nightmare shrugs "I don't want to do school there."

Dust blinsk adn laughs "I don't think any of us want you to do that either." then he sighs "But it is slightly required to at least get some help."

Killer groans "For real. If we don't at least try this people will keep being problematic." then he frowns "It is also nice to have more medical experts check your wounds nad magic tiny boss."

Nightmare frowns as he pushes close to Dust and thinks.

Eventually they get to their ride and Nightmare mutters "Only for a little while. Just to calm people down." then he wants homeschool again.

Dust nuzzles his skull "We wouldn't ask anything else of you. an we will be wiht you the whole time."

Yeah... that makes the idea bearable. As long as it doesn't take too long of course.

*-------------------------*

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[moonlightflower-queen]

Macaria fan design!

She is shy and i imagine the whole family is very protective of her. (Considering what happened the first 2 times lolol)

Apparently there's a daughter of Heracles with the same name and i took some of her sacrifice symbolism, so she's the goddess of blessed death and sacrifice here.

If you want to read me ramble about her design, here's the post where i do that:

[moldy-flowers]

Headcanon that when Sasuke and Sakura came back to Konoha Ino ran up to her and told Sasuke they would be going on a date and started fussing over Sarada and Sakura.

And Sai, with no idea what to do just takes Sasukes hand and is like: "We'll be going now." Cause he just assumes that they're just swapping partners for like girls night out and a guys night out.

And Sasuke, in shock with no idea what to do sort of just gets pulled away by Sai and looks back at Sakura with fear and confusion in his eyes.

(Of course Sakura finds this hilarious and just watches her husband get taken away.)

[mezzy303]

So I've been rereading skip beat from the beginning for the first time in uhhhhh almost 10 years and I'm going inSaNE over characterizations and development that I have to write it down

At this point I'm only at the Heel siblings arc so I haven't gotten to the Guam or Saena arcs which are very big for Kyoko and Ren's character development and healing which I haven't reread since those chapters came out

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Nakamura for basing Kyoko and Ren's childhood struggles and trauma on very real things that aren't often, if at all, dealt with in anime/manga and also writing them with utmost care (Not only do the traumas inform their personalities, but their healing arcs aren't just a one and done thing!! It's a very slow process) Like starting with Kyoko, her single mother neglected her so much that she was raised by a family friend. On top of that, nothing Kyoko did was ever good enough for her mother, and both of these things are so apparent in Kyoko's character. She attaches herself to fairytales and magic as an escapism and because she relates to stories like Cinderella. She literally cannot function if she messes up and no one criticizes her. She can't properly acknowledge her own talents and beauty without it being attached somehow to fairytales; she never quite believes shes good enough. Similarly, she didn't want to bother anyone with her troubles, so she always dealt with them alone/in private spaces. Pretty sure she also has lowkey abandonment issues. And this is all parental trauma!! Things she already has before the series starts and she gets so utterly heartbroken she swears off romantic love entirely so she can never get hurt the same way again.

(I don't think I'll ever get over how Kyoko told all this to Kuu and he was literally like I'm adopting you. Your mine now. Sorry I don't make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And Kuu going home to his wife like hey we got a new kid 😂 Like Kyoko freezing up when she made mistakes and then Kuu showing her love instead of reprimanding her makes me go 🥹😩💖✨😭💝 Kyoko getting all fluffy from head pats🥹🥹 But on the downside she literally can't bring herself to call him dad unless she's in acting mode sjdfhsf)

When I really consider it, I wonder if Kyoko really loved Sho as a person or like.... the idea of him. Like he was just a convenient guy via proximity bc Kyoko needed someone to be her "prince". We haven't been shown exactly why she fell in love, but it would explain why she stuck with dedicating herself to him despite his terrible personality and knowing he never saw her the same way. It's portrayed like the concept of hatsukoi in anime where its ✨pure✨and innocent✨It seems very idealistic. Whereas Kyoko's love for Ren is more mature. She sees every aspect of Ren and doesn't sugarcoat it, she sees him as he is (she does him up on a pedestal but partially bc she admires him but also as an extreme measure to protect her heart and hide her feelings imo)

And REN. trauma to the max. He had to deal with the hardships of making a name for himself when his parents are already famous, extreme racism from being biracial, his friend/mentor dying from an accident he unintentionally caused???? Like boy hates himself so much he's literally disassociating 24/7 he needs a fucking therapist. I get how being Ren has helped him in some capacity but he needs a professional asap. Though deep diving into this is so interesting because Ren/Kuon compartmentalized his issues and the parts that he hates about himself so much he created its own persona ("Dark Kuon"), to the point he's rarely ever just himself. And he buried it so deep that as soon as he cracked the lid open, those emotions just spilled out. He can't even allow himself to be happy, and when he does feel truly happy, his automatic response is acting nonchalant,,,,,,,,,,,, he didn't even realize he was doing it at first 😢

Also the symbolism with Ren's watch makes me go a little feral. I don't remember if it's originally his or Rick's but it obviously stopped when the latter died and Ren keeps it as a reminder of what happened and why he went to Japan. It's a weird item since it grounds him but also represents his heavy trauma, and I think having those two things in one kinda showcases Ren's unhealthy coping mechanisms (like grounding himself to something traumatic isn't... great...). But that scene where he realizes he took it off and he has a moment of whether it to keep it on as Cain Heel or not??? *clenches fist* it was so good. (To recap it, he had his watch so he wouldn't lose himself in the role of BJ and then forgot it in the bathroom after an unexpected trauma response) Ren narrates his thoughts as choosing between Rick or Kyoko but interpreting this, he's choosing whether to keep himself stuck in his past trauma or move forward and let himself be happy AKA stick with unhealthy coping mechanisms vs try something healthy and rely on people he trusts. Kyoko essentially becomes someone Ren grounds himself to 🥺 He still needs therapy though lmao. He's so mentally unstable in this arc,,,

As I'm writing this I'm seeing a parallel between Kyoko and Ren and how they both had an experience that completely and utterly broke them, and it was this that pushed them onto their current paths in showbiz. And they likely would never have met each other again if those things never happened (they had to lose themselves to find each other?? 😭). It's so funny to me that Ren is all like ThEiR fAtEs ArE iNtErTwInEd with Kyoko and Sho when you have to consider the fact that him and Kyoko meeting again was like. a chance in a billion. It was fate 😂

KyoRen is such a poetic ship to me. The fact that they're different people when they meet and don't recognize the other. How Ren starts falling in love AS SOON AS HE REALIZES KYOKO IS THE SAME GIRL HE MET (Ren being gray/demiromantic.... more at 5). Kyoko lowkey starting to crush on Ren when she witnesses a bit of his real personality. These two things happening around the same time??????? And Ren being SO afraid of being Kuon, his true self, because of his bad qualities, but Kyoko pulling out the good qualities without him fully realizing it?? (I'm 100% referring to Kuon being a mischievous little shit and I live for how he teases Kyoko) tbh they treat each other differently from other people without even realizing it lol. And Kyoko being surrounded by toxic and possessive men pursuing her, and Ren being anything BUT. Like my man is a gigantic green flag. He recognizes that he can't seriously pursue Kyoko bc she's a minor and he really tries his best to only be a friend and mentor in her life and keeping her trust and never crossing her boundaries despite the stereotypes of men being "unable to control themselves." Y'all take point this should be the standard at minimum☝️

I have to talk about Sho bc this boy is so fucking toxic but he makes such a fascinating character. As much as I hate how Kyoko got heartbroken in the way she did, I think it was necessary so that she could leave Sho's sorry ass and cut him out of her life. Seriously,,,, he took advantage of her and used her as a servant. she literally dropped out of school, moved to a different city, and took on two jobs for the sole purpose of helping his career and then he threw her away like a used rag (JUST THROW THE WHOLE MAN AWAY). And then he has the audacity to fall in love with her smh. Anyway the fascinating part about him to analyze is how he's so possessive of Kyoko. Like she was a mere fly in his life, but she was always his. Until she wasn't. And I think those twisted thoughts kinda morphed into feelings for Kyoko. Ig in a way he still cares about her, but it could never hide how toxic he is. Anyone who's like I don't care how this person thinks of me as long as I take up the biggest space in their heart is egotistical and narcissistic. BUT he and Kyoko bickering like siblings will always be funny. Like epitome of two people who've lived with each other for way too long so they know how the other ticks and also get on each other's nerves 😂😂Sho does makes a good foil for Ren though. Like he's basically everything Ren is not: immature, temperamental, possessive, vain, the list goes on. His only redeeming qualities as a character is providing good drama and humor and being an example of what Ren isn't.

Skip Beat is really a story about healing and learning to love yourself and letting others love you and Nakamura is such a good story teller 🥺

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

Dare I say it, the way Parks and Rec failed in its conclusion was by succumbing to the capitalist construction of the self as an infinite growth optimization machine (where the optimized self is the work self)

[hercarisntyours]