#Because it is actually a really good idea to get a traumatised child checked by professionals and see how he is doing mentally.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Session Zero

Hello! I am back! @spotaus get in here friend! Next drabble just dropped!

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Okay. Before anyhting else. This is in the first spring the guys are in farmtale. Nightmare has been six for almost a year now, like 11 months ish. So the gang has been in Farmtale for like 8 months ish (they have had night with them for 10 months)

Look. You all agreed to this timeline hopping when you started reading my drabbles. I have warned you all at the beginning of this ride. ANYWAY! We going in!

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Ngihtmare stares up at the building as he keeps a very tight hold on Dust's shirt. Dust still has him in his arms as he calmly waits by the enterance.

Killer had dropped them off for now and was going to park the car while they waited under the little covering by the front door.

Dust nuzzles his skull softly "Hey... it is just for a little while. And I shouldn't be long."

Nightmare just pushes closer to Dust "Why need to even go here? It is stupid. You teach me stuff."

Dust nods "Oh trust me. I agree. I am perfectly able to teach things." Dust looks unhappy as well.

Fauna, the nice deer monster from their town, laughs softly "But unless you actually get registered you aren't allowed to do that."

Dust huffs and Nightmare looks at her "So? Why do i need to go here?" Nightmare could just take a break while Dust gets the stupid license to home school and then they can pick it up again. Dust already said they aren't ina hurry.

Fauna smiles softly "This is also to see how you are doing mentally Nightmare. A lot has happened and your health is important."

Ngihtmare just pushes clsoer ot Dust "I am fine." he is fine. He has his... his four! He has a home and peolpe who care about him. What else could he want? Sure his body aches and if he moves a lot it still hurts... and when he is alone at night the nightmares return. But that is beside the point!

He is happier and safer than he has been for a long time. How can they just not see that?

Fauna smiles softly "Well you have been healing a lot. but this is a good thing! you will get to learn so many things, and they will figure out where you are with your schooling to help you better focus and see where you can learn things. Not to forget other children to play with."

Nightmare freezes at the implication of other children and looks up at Dust begging. Please. Please don't leave him.

Dust nuzzles his skull and mutters softly "I will stay right by your side."

Fauna is clearly about to say something but then Killer rushes unver the cover and pants as he drips water "This rain!! It gets everywhere!"

Dust shoots him a disapproving look "really?"

Killer grins "Had to walk quite the end to get here. No parking places. Well! Lets get this whole mental evaluation over with!" and he marches in. Dust shrugs and follows him.

They check in with the receptionist as Nightmare keeps his skull against Dust's collarbone. He watches as he stays quiet to try and listen. file away eveyrhting he hears and keep an eye on where the exit is. Just in case.

They get to the right room and meet some people inside. The director Augustus and the head teacher Miss March.

They talk for a while and Nightmare just keeps trying to stay plastered against Dust. He knows it is dumb and needy and clingy and he shouldn't be this weak after all he experienced but he is terrified and Dust is safe.

They do the stupid tests and talk and they just keep asking him questions he doens't want or know how to answer.

Then they have lunch and all Nightmae wants to do is go home and sleep in their bed.lay together with his dad- four! His four! and relax. let today pass and never think about it again.

They have a few more talks before they meet up with Augustus again and he smiles at them "I must say i am relieved."

Killer looksup and shoots Dust a look as well.

Dust frowns and Ngihtmare feels hismelf be pulled closer "about what?"

Augustus blinks and chuckles "I am sorry. I didn't mean it in any negative way. It is just. I read the file you put together with miss Fauna and I had been worried. but. It seems like your son is a very strong and brave young man."

Nightmare is unsure how to react and just pushes closer to Dust. He knows it is part of the story that Dust is his biological dad but they joy at hearing that bond being refered between them? It is a lot.

Augustus sighs "There is trauma. that is obvious. However. He speaks for himself. and while scared he just needs some gentle encouragement from either of you to feel reassured. The ability for him to still form these meaningfull and supportive bonds with others really showcases that he is on the right track to heal."

He pulls over another report "The physical health is also healing. Very slowly but with the slow recovery of his own magic it is to be expected and all well within the realm of normal healing."

he sighs as he looks at them "Now... about his schooling. He is a smart kid. Very far with reading and languages. But the other aspects of his schooling are very lacking at the moment. but nothing that can't be caught up with." Augustus waits a moment before continuing "Normally. I would recommend full days here."

Killer hisses and glares "No." Nightmare shrinks closer to Dust as Dust just pulls him closer again.

Augustus nods "I had already assumed that would be your answer." he smiles "I will still have to try. I assure you he will be safe here. We have a top staff that all work together to ensure the safety of the children. We are specialised in offering help for children of bad situations. TO help them heal and experience the things any child should get the chance to experience."

Dust glares "He doesn't want to."

Augustus nods "of coruse he doesn't. It is new and scary. It is away from those who keep him safe. But it would help him grow. help him heal. see that not eveyrone in this world is out to hurt him. that those who hurt him were the outliners and should never have gotten the chance to see him."

Dust frowns as Killer jsut glares "We are not leaving him here for days on end."

Augustus nods "While we recommend the full program we can always do a shorter one. One that focusses on trying to help him catch up wiht his learnign and to just keep an eye in case his mental health degrades." he pulls over another piece of paper and hands it to Killer.

Killer snatches it and reads it.

Augustus speaks calmly "It is half a day a week. Normally for children who spend a long time in a hospital. It will mean that he two hours of private tutoring and after that he would spend an hour with the class before and another hour after lunch." he smiles "a much more gentle introduction to school and being near others."

Killer and dust share a look.

Killer leans closer "And how long would this all take? Seeing as we are planning on home schooling him again as soon as Dust got his license."

Augustus looks thoguhtful "Catching up with the school work will take a long time. mentally healing fuly even longer. But as you are not planning on using the full program we can at least give him a stable start to continue healing from."

Fauna frowns at them "What if it turns out that he likes classes? that he likes being in a group?"

Nightmare shakes his skull as he pushes closer to Dust.

Dust rubs his spine softly and Ngihtmare feels hismefl relax. Killer speaks with a grin "If. and only IF Nightmare says he prefers group classes and stuff. Then we will look into options."

Dust nods as he keeps holding him "It will be a long process. We will need to make sure the people he is near know not to touch him. THe children will have to know to be gentle. Nightmare will have to rest a lot and if anything happens with his magic we would have to be called." Dust looks pointedly at Augustus and Nightmare sees the other shiver under the intimidating glare.

Dust just keeps staring "Which is just the start of the list."

Killer grins and the tension disappears "Which is why one of us will remain nearby just in case!"

Augustus frowns "That would go against the aim of the project to help him build up his ability to trust people. We would be at large of a risk that he could fall back into habits of only going to you."

Killer nods "I dn't see anything wrong wiht that." he glares "We are not leaving him. and you can't make us leave."

Augustus frowns and thinks deeply before nodding "What if. You don't stay in the room with him. but you can remain near? We have our waiting rooms for people between appointments or waiting for pick up. YOu could remain there. That is nearby in case of emergencies and knowing you would be in the building could be helpful to make everything feel safer?"

Nightmare is kinda shocked at how considering this guy is. He had seen others before. Who just demanded everyone do what they say because they know better. And this guy probably knows better. He has seen many people before and helped many people. It is why miss Fauna encouraged them to go to this place in the nearby city over the small town psychologist.

Something about having build this whole thing to help others and everything being specialized to be able to help those who have been hurt in this way.

But here he is... letting them decide stuff.

Killer looks considered and him and Dust share a look. DUst shoots Augustus a look "Why are you being so okay with us wanting things different and special?"

Augustus looks shocked before laughing a bit. Then he smiles "Because we are all different people. Two can have the exact same thing happen to them and have a completely different response to the trauma. Two can have the exact same response to the trauma yet need different healing plans." he sighs "We are all individuals who deal and work through things in our own ways. I can advice the most successful routine and what i have seen works before. But you three will always know you three best. You know what you can and can't handle."

Augustus smiles "Maybe after a very sessions and classes I will have a better personalised idea on what could help Nightmare. But before I can do that I need to get to know him a bit more. The mind is a complex thing. It takes time to understand. And you can't understand it if you aren't willing to listen."

Fauna smiles and nods "THe body is rather easy to heal. It will heal if giving the right things it needs. But the mind won't heal unless it is ready to heal. Until it wants to heal."

Augustus nods "exactly. It takes a lot of effort to work through trauma. But the first step is wanting it. Which is why i won't force a program or routine unto anyone, even if i truly believe it will help them."

Killer and Dust consider it and end up agreeing to talk with everyone at home about it.

They do a few more tests and scans. mostly on his spine and ribs to note down the progress. After that they say goodbye to Fauna and leave the building.

The rain had calmed downa lot and turned into a light drizzle as they walk back towards the truck.

Dust hums and nuzzles his skull "you okay?"

Nightmare shrugs "I don't want to do school there."

Dust blinsk adn laughs "I don't think any of us want you to do that either." then he sighs "But it is slightly required to at least get some help."

Killer groans "For real. If we don't at least try this people will keep being problematic." then he frowns "It is also nice to have more medical experts check your wounds nad magic tiny boss."

Nightmare frowns as he pushes close to Dust and thinks.

Eventually they get to their ride and Nightmare mutters "Only for a little while. Just to calm people down." then he wants homeschool again.

Dust nuzzles his skull "We wouldn't ask anything else of you. an we will be wiht you the whole time."

Yeah... that makes the idea bearable. As long as it doesn't take too long of course.

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[mytragedyperson]

Ok i was thinking about assassination classroom and Karma again, as I occasionally do, and I remembered his first episode where he, like, falls off the cliff thing so he can shoot Korosensei, and how, like willing, he is to get hurt or even possibly die just to kill him. And, how he fully accepted death and it's only because Korosensei caught him that he didn't, at the very least, injure himself but, since he was falling like back, head, neck first, probably wouldn't have been good for him. And i feel like Korosensei, Karma and Nagisa all gloss over this incident way too quick, and to my knowledge no one else knows. Like, i get it but, also, the fact this middle school child is willing to go this far to achieve his goal, to kill a teacher, is horrifying, And it got me thinking, right? Because, surely after this, even if nothing happened, Korosensei or one of the teachers would have to tell his parents, right? Like, this seems pretty serious and like something you'd have to tell a student's parents? But it's just never mentioned again.

so, fic idea, Karasuma finds out about this and is like wtf. so he's the one that calls Karma's parents, when he realises Korosensei forgot, or at least he attempts to, but the only numbers the school has is their house number, and Karma's mobile number (Karma said it was on of his parents' and no one at the school cared enough to check because they suck). So, when Karasuma fails to get an answer, he tries to organise a face-to-face thing. Doesn't work, they don't answer, they don't find out. So Karasuma asks Karma how he can get in touch with his parents, says it's just to ask about something else, but Karma's like, oh, they work in another country.

Long story short Karasuma gets suspicious about Karma's homelife and quickly discovers he's at the very least neglected and basically unofficially adopts him. Bitch sensei too but that's more because i ship her with Karasuma, but yes, they adopt Karma. This makes all his behaviour make sense and even more when he learns some other things. First, Karma actually likes learning and studying, just not at school. This can either be a thing where he can concentrate better when there's less people around and less going on, and stuff, or it could be a defense mechanism. Personal headcanon time: Karma used to be more open about the fact he liked learning and liked studying, but then people started bullying him for it. So, he learned to fight, so he could defend himself, and started to become more of a delinquent. And this is why he always defended people who were getting bullied. He could relate to them. Him being able to fight got him slapped with the delinquent label so he leant into it, started skipping classes and, when he was there, made a point of looking like he actually wasn't paying attention. Got in a lot of fights to defend himself and protect others, only really fought bullies, but it was enough to intimidate people. But really, when he's skipping class, he's just doing the studying and learning at home, where he can do it without being bullied. Sorry, I've talked before about my headcanon that Karma likes learning, he just doesn't like school. here's a more fleshed out version that I just thought of but adds to this in a way and explains why he learned to fight, other than the cliche "he was a delinquent" or "he wanted his parents' attention". That may be part of the reason but, yeah. This is purely headcanon, I'm not saying this is canon, but yeah.

So anyway, Karasuma basically adopts him and Karma basically lives with him. Karasuma tries to keep things strictly student and teacher at home and takes on a more parental figure at home. And it's not easy for either of them. Karasuma isn't really prepared to be a dad to a traumatised middle schooler and is in denial that he actually cares and tells himself he's just keeping and eye on the kid since no one else is. And Karma has his walls up. He doesn't trust adults because, before Korosensei, he never had an adult genuinely care about him with no strings attached, and even with Korosensei, he's his teacher so still has some level of obligation in any responsibilty he feels for Karma. So Karma doesn't trust Karasuma and is constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. So he keeps himself hidden, keeps middle school Karma on the surface and hides the parts of himself he wants to protect away. Because for all Karma is sadistic, he is also a protector. I stand by that and no one will change my mind. And that means protecting himself soon. So it's a struggle, Karasuma trying to get Karma to open up while also trying to keep an emotional distance and not get attached, because when Korosensei dies, he'll have to leave, have to go where the next mission takes him. And Karma trying to keep his more vulnerable side hidden, desperately fighting to keep his walls up, because the last time he trusted and adult, they turned their back on him the second he acted in a way they didn't like and he can't allow himself to get hurt like that again.

But Karasuma keeps finding things out, keeps noticing things, keeps seeing these hidden insecurities and vulnerabilities. And he tries not to push Karma, he does, but he finds out Karma likes learning and studying, finds out he's even smarter than he thought, (like he knew Karma was smart but, like, he didn't realise the extent of it, genius Karma agenda and not in a prodigy way, more he was a neglected kid who had no friends so he just learned everything he could.), like he just knows the most random but interesting facts, keeps noticing just how many styles and techniques of fighting Karma knows, finds out he's self taught. And then comes the real kicker, when Karasuma finds out Karma secretly brought an injured stray cat home (to Karasuma's house that he won't admit even to himself feels like home) and was nursing it back to health after finding some shithead kids from his middle school throwing rocks at it or something. And Karasuma, secret softie and cat person that he is, lets him keep it. They have a pet cat, and Karma learns about Karasuma is, finds out who he is when he's not doing agent stuff, sees him relaxing and being at peace for once. And he lets Karasuma in, against his better judgment (and he knows Karasuma will have to leave at some point, he's here for a reason, he has a job to do, when that job is done he'll leave but maybe for once he can trust and adult, maybe for once he can let and adult in, maybe for once he can be cared for even if it's temporary) and (excuse me if i get events in the wrong order but the point remains) Karma doesn't beat Asano at the exams that time, doesn't come first in math or any other subject, and it annoys him, because even if it didn't look like it, even if it wasn't in class, he actually did study, at home, in secret. And this time was different. This time, despite everything, he wanted to do well not just for him or to rub it in Asano's face, he wanted to make Karasuma proud. It was the first time he could tell an adult he did well, that he got the top score and have them genuinely be proud of him. By this point he's stopped hiding his secret studying from Karasuma. And then Korosensei comes and inadvertantly rubs salt in the wound, taunting him about his failure as if he doesn't already know, as if he doesn't already feel shitty enough about failing, about letting Karasuma down.

But he didn't let Karasuma down. Karasuma knows how hard he was studying, ho hard he was trying, even if no one else does. And even if Karma didn't get the top mark (which by the way, do we ever find out what he got? Was it actually a bad score or just bad for Karma, y'know? I can't remember), Karasuma knows he tried his hardest, so he praises him anyway. By this point he knows enough to know Karma's beating himself up about it, after all, Karma is a perfectionist. Anything less than perfect he sees as being a failure and letting people down. But Karasuma is there to reassure him and tell him that he did well and next time he'll do even better. And he comforts Karma, something no one has ever truly done before. And Karma knows he can trust him.

And then their vacation and the poison incident happens. Karma is forced to watch Karasuma get taken out by the sleeping gas, but manages to keep calm. But after Karma fights an assassin, Karasuma cannot hide his concern, not fully, and after that it only gets harder, especially as they have more father and son bonding moments, Karma opens up to Karasuma but there's still the issue of Karasuma's job. I did consider having Karasuma leave hi job but i honestly think, if he tried, they'd kill him for knowing too much. So instead, he makes sure to visit between every job he has, calls as often as he can while on jobs, and always makes sure he's there for important events. Karma basically lives in the house he has there. Bitch sensei and Karasuma get married. Karma goes to the same high school as Asano, where they're academic rivals in the same class but end up becoming friends and lovers because i ship it and these two are actually very similar and I feel like they genuinely would end up being like a power couple. Plus Asano wants to know more about the Korosensei situation. Also Karasuma teaches Karma more stuff so that if any of his enemies find out about Karma and come after him, Karma can defend himself.

This is angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, full of headcanons, just, in my brain this is the fanfic I'll probably never write because i simply couldn't do it justice.

But I could write snippets about this. whether that be headcanons or just short scenes so, if you'd like me to elaborate, please let me know in comments, or my asks.

[aesop-and-fiends]

I can imagine you relate to Greek God. Not a clue why, because literally none of the lyrics apply to any of what happened between the three, technically four, of us. But I can imagine you relate to it anyway. I can imagine it makes you feel powerful and in the right about what happened. Which fucking sickens me, but hey, whatever you have to do to get through the day man.

And yes, I do still check up, because believe it or not, I’m tired of letting you think I’m going to let you walk all over me with all this bullshit about me being a horrible person (I have the screenshots, from before and after) and get to pretend to everyone as though you’re in the right. If you want to pretend I’m a villain, then I’ll play a goddamn villain for you. Not that occasionally checking your tumblr exactly constitutes as villainy to me.

I made a new account because I don’t like the idea that you can see me and I can’t see you. And because I find it funny that when you couldn’t disprove my points about me actually being a good person, and you realised I wasn’t going to let you vent at me and call me horrible things, and that I wasn’t going to let you dance over me and be absurdly immature, you blocked me. That’s what I find really amusing about all of this. I did the adult thing (even though what I said to you in the messages that were apparently so traumatising (I have screenshots) were literally just me calling you out on your blatantly awful behaviour), and you behaved like a child.

So yeah, I’ll watch, and I don’t really care if that is something you disagree with, because the second I was uncomfortable, you gaslit me so badly that I believed I was a horrible person who deserved to die. I realise now that in fact I am not a horrible person, and you are just really fucking immature.

I really hope you grow up soon. And I’m tired of giving you lea-way, even the figment of you in my fucking head.

I’m glad I’m not your friend, because you are now a fucking horrible person. You never used to be, but you fucking well are now. I grew out of my childish state of being a little bit mean and self centred. I was a fucking CHILD. You apparently never grew out of it. You grew into it.

Maybe it’s wrong that this has made me so angry. Maybe it’s because I know you relate to every single fucking lyric, when actually two out of three of us have moved on. It’s just you and me now.

I don’t want to hurt you. But that doesn’t mean I like you or want good things for you. I want a fucking apology. I can’t wait until you eventually find this account.

I never loved you. You did know the difference between platonic and romantic, I don’t fall for that bullshit. Your mistake wasn’t doing that. Your mistake was behaving like a child and not trying to amend your mistake after it happened. I couldn’t give a shit about the caravan.

You run away from every mildly difficult situation you find yourself in.

I can’t imagine God finds that to be an admirable quality.

I’m an adult. I grew up. I recognise my mistakes.

You are a child. You will never grow up. And you will never, ever recognise your mistakes.

Talk to your counsellor about that one, if you even have one, you immature con.

[sevendeadlymorons]

The brothers + undateables react to the MC bringing her small child to RAD because no one in the human world is available to babysit, and they can’t leave a three-year-old alone. Bonus points if at some point, the kid runs up to them with something in their mouth, and when questioned, the kid spits out a rock or something.

IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED THIS IN MY HEAD BUT NOBODY EVER SUGGESTED IT SO OMG THIS MAY BE A BIT LONG-

Brothers + Dateables Reaction to MC Bringing Their Kid to RAD

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Lucifer

He had no idea you had a child honestly but considers it none of his concern

Well, not until you asked him to help out in babysitting that is, suddenly all his stress comes back

At first, the child was hyper, running around, stealing things, climbing on his lap and distracting him from work, he can’t count the amount of times he’s had to save this child from throwing themselves out the nearest window or getting flattened by all his records and books

One time, he caught the child running around with something in their mouth only to spit out a whole rock. Easy to say he was traumatised

But he couldn’t get over how much this small child looked and acted like you and he would never tell anyone, but he completely fell in love with your kid

He’s honestly the best babysitter, checking up on them constantly and keeping them company. The headaches he got from them though were a minor set back for him

Offers to be a regular babysitter as he enjoyed time with them so much and he loves all the little quirks that they share with you

Mammon

Since when did you have a kid?! With who?!

Couldn’t believe it at first but he couldn’t deny this small human looked quite a lot like you and he honestly started to quickly fall in love

Wasn’t so keen on the idea of babysitting but he soon came around as your kid became his new sneaky thief. Lucifer would never dream about harming your child, would he?

Turns out the kid was a huge nightmare, just like his human, and he had to stop the kid from killing themself several times a day. He even had to claw a whole damn rock out of this kids mouth

He was actually pretty cool with the kid when they weren’t causing trouble, though, playing games and talking to them, making them laugh and yeah, he cried when they gave him a little hug

He got flustered at the fact this was your child he was currently looking after and he may or may not have imagined you two having your own children and looking after this one together

He may babysit the kid again… for 500 Grimm, of course, he’s not a charity

Leviathan

He’s not good with children! Don’t leave him with your child!

At first he was shocked you even had a kid. Since when?! But then you dropped this tiny human in his arms and went about your day

Not too sure what babies like at first and he tried multiple things just to entertain them for long enough that he could play his game in peace

To no avail though, the kid was a nightmare, shoving shit in their mouth and causing him to go into panic mode, knocking over his figurines and distracting him from his game

They honestly settled down eventually though as your kid crawled into his lap and snatched the phone from his hands, beginning to laugh at the game on the screen

He’s the cool babysitter. He taught them how to beat the levels in his game, talked to them about his favourite anime’s and even let them play with Henry for a while, this kid quickly had his entire heart

He doesn’t know what came over him but he weirdly wouldn’t mind looking after your kid again if you needed him to… maybe it’s just because they reminded him so much of you though

Satan

Like Lucifer, he didn’t want to be involved with your kid in all honesty

But surprise, he now has your kid wrapped up in his arms for the whole day

He tried his best to keep them company at first even if they were a nightmare. He can’t even begin to count the amount of times this kid ran off and hid and shoved stuff in their mouths only to spit out a pebble or two…

He did enjoyed reading to them though, watching them smile and clap their hands when they heard a part they found particularly amusing and then attempt to read it back in their jumbled baby language

He actually started to really like your child and the two of them went cat searching later on in the day, petting all the cats they saw and sneakily feeding them leftovers from the kitchen

He definitely liked the child more when they were worn out and more calm and they just hopped up to sat on his lap and started poorly reading the book out loud to him in gibberish, but either way, he liked watching the child learn and enjoy reading

He offers to look after the kid more often, he didn’t mind. It was your child after all

Asmodeus

Oh well aren’t you cutest little thing~?

Yeah easy to say he was immediately drawn to this tiny, adorable 3 year old of yours and happily took them in with open arms

The two of them spent the day painting eachothers nails and Asmo brushing your child’s hair, putting in little clips and bows and telling them how pretty they look

For some reason, the child was pretty behaved in Asmo’s care, not including the time they came way too close to eating nail polish and he almost had a heart attack

Gave eachother lots of hugs and he couldn’t stop complimenting them and loving every single time the kid laughed or smiled, it reminded him of you in a way, you two really were similar

He enjoyed being around the kid when they were calm and sleepy as it gave him a good opportunity to just relax without the stress of thinking the kid will eat something they’re not supposed to

He definitely will take care of them more often if you ever need a babysitter, he’d be happy to!

Beelzebub

… is it edible?

After going through the rules of ‘no eating the 3 year old’ with him, he’s actually a pretty good babysitter and took good care of them while you were busy

He always knows when they’re hungry and will feed them whatever they ask, maybe sometimes a little bit too much food though but hey, at least they look happy

He caught them with something in their mouth the one time and he immediately thought they snagged his food, but all of a sudden, they spat out a whole rock and honestly, he gets it. Sometimes he gets hungry enough to eat rocks too…

The two get along well honestly, sharing meals and watching TV and Beel even invites Belphie to help look after your kid so it was just the two of them playing with this tiny human child for hours in the attic

Beel loves the child’s smile, it reminds him of you, and their laugh and the way they give him little leg hugs. Truthfully, he loved your kid so much

Kinda sad when they have to leave; offering to babysit whenever you want him to because he just loves them so much

Belphegor

You really expect him to be able to look after a child? He’ll pass…

But before he knew it, a kid was sat on his bed and you were gone and already he was fed up

Weirdly though, looking at your kid brought him this odd inner peace kind of feeling where he just wants to hold them and never let go. Maybe it was because the kid was yours and it reminded him so much of you…?

He kind of just naps with them more than he should for the entire day. He knows 3 year olds like to sleep and that’s his specialty so he thought why not

When the two of them are awake, he spends it in the planetarium looking up at the stars and teaching the child all the names and alignments or eating way too much downstairs with Beel

There was a time where he had to forcefully snatch this stone out of the child’s mouth after running after them for hours, and then lecture them on how they can’t do that and then he had to take another nap due to being absolutely exhausted but besides from that, the child was pretty sleepy, all day

Yeah ok maybe he fell for your child and maybe he’ll babysit them again, but expect him to complain about it first

Diavolo

He’s actually really happy you came to him first to look after your child :)

Honestly, he’s such a sweetheart towards the small child, but he definitely gave in several times to those irresistible puppy eyes and ended up spoiling them

He was also sort of busy with work so the kid tended to just sit on his lap and play with his free hand and would sometimes run off without him noticing only to come back hand in hand with Barbatos who found them digging through the trash

He wasn’t any good at discipline so whenever they came back covered in trash he kinda just laughed it off and sat them back down, he’s too sweet to yell at such a small and helpless human

He can’t remember the last time he had such fun though. The child was sweet to him and he very much enjoyed watching the antics of a normal 3 year old human with hyper tendencies

They took walks around the garden together, helping them pick little flowers and putting them in their hair, watching them laugh and smile afterwards

The child reminded him of you and that just made them even more lovable to him and it was easy to say he’d without a doubt babysit your kid any time

Barbatos

Never expected you to want him to take care of your child but he’ll do his best

He was sort of busy the entire day and couldn’t take care of the child as much as he planned to but he made sure the child was happy either way

The two of them cleaned up together, Barbatos handing the kid a little feather duster and showing them how to properly clean, watching them enjoying themselves and laughing in the corner of his eye

He did have to scold them a few times for misbehaving and eating things they shouldn’t though, especially random pebbles from outside

When he wasn’t cleaning or tending to paperwork, he took the child on little walks around the garden, enjoying the way the small kid laughed and smiled at all the flowers and butterflies, their arm swinging from side to side cheerfully, causing him to smile too

Easy to say he fell in love hard pretty quickly, noticing the way they took after you and how polite and sweet they were towards him

He wouldn’t mind looking after them again, just perhaps when he’s less busy…

Simeon

He already has Luke but he supposes one more couldn’t hurt

He’s a great babysitter really, no complaints and rarely any misbehaving on the child’s end except for a few times throughout the day where he had to desperately stop them from swallowing rocks

But other than that, the child was pretty calm, following him around and laughing at his awfully made jokes; their hand normally attached to his trouser leg so they didn’t get lost

He loved how the child reminded him of you, their mannerisms and the way they acted were so similar and he couldn’t help but laugh and fall deeper in love with this tiny, peculiar human

He spent a lot of the day having a small tea party with them, sharing biscuits and hot chocolate for the child and tea for him, watching them pour him tea then laugh as he takes a sip

When he needed to do something quickly, he left the child with Luke and then came back to legitimately the most heartwarming game of monopoly between two small children he’s ever seen

He would without a doubt babysit again if you ever need him to, it’s no trouble honestly

Solomon

You’d really trust your kid with him? Really?

He’s honestly really happy you’d entrust them with him though and he’ll make sure to not get them killed

He’s actually really good at babysitting though: making sure they’re always laughing until they’re falling over, showing them cool spells to entertain them, playing games and seeing how badly he can scare the shit out of them without making them cry

Solomon’s that one cool babysitter you always have that’s cool in a bad way, like he’ll make you dinner but he’ll also burn the entire house down, but hey, at least he’s funny

He’ll randomly sneak up behind the kid and yell ‘boo’ just for the fun of it and if they cry, it’s Simeon’s problem now

He absolutely adores it when the kid follows him around and laughs at every little thing he does, it’s like he has his own personal fan

Kinda disappointed when the kid has to leave but make sure to call him to babysit again

Luke

Finally, someone that’s shorter than him!

He kinda just hangs around the kid all day, keeping them company with games and jokes and cheering them up if they start to miss you

He even attempts to teach them how to play monopoly with him but eventually finds out that 3 year olds cannot play monopoly…

Though he isn’t the one actually babysitting, he sure is a good playmate towards the child and they seem to enjoy his company at least

The days full of laughter and just two children having fun, which is a sight to see for everyone at Purgatory Hall

They’ll take walks around together, Luke immediately regretting his decisions and panicking when they put a rock in their mouth and he has to negotiate with them to spit it out

Yeah alright maybe he’s a little sad that they’re leaving so soon, so make sure they come visit again!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Human!Freddy Krueger x Fem!Reader || Oneshot

Title: What The Fuck Now, Freddy!?

Notes:

This is not inherently romantic, at all. Or sexual. Just... Freddy being a bastard, and you are caught in the crosshairs- and are forever linked with him because of it.

I've been listening to Lizzie, a lot lately- and this is inspired by 'What The Fuck Now, Lizzie!?'

Also- I'm thinking this will have a part 2. Due to the ending not being quite enough. Maybe a part for the court proceedings!

Plot: Many will know the story of that terrible day Krueger essentially snapped- killing his wife, Loretta Krueger. She saw the basement, they say, and he didn't like that. Their daughter saw the whole thing and suffered a traumatic response to seeing the sight of her mother, strangled to death, by her father- and forgot the whole thing.

But if she were to remember something, one day.

She may remember something no one knows about that day, aside from Freddy himself.

She may remember, that someone else was there.

She may remember you.

//

Alternatively- you're being blackmailed by Freddy who found out you, another supposedly Plain Jane in Loretta's 'mothers club', is cheating on your husband and calls you up to help deal with the mess he made. Because who else did he have?

Warnings: Okay lemme see, its basically a potluck of triggers. Hm. Murder, swearing, cheating (You, on your husband. Not with Freddy), getting rid of a body, a child gets traumatised (Obviously, Kathy/Maggie), Freddy himself, mention of the basement and all that entails, reader with a very questionable moral compass. Look, I think if you can watch Freddy's Dead, you're good here.

I'm just heading out the door, to go grocery shopping - or, at least, that's the story I tell my husband. When really I don't do the grocery shop until the day after tomorrow. He never notices... - when the phone rings. By very nearly tripping over my feet in my endeavour to catch it before the ringing stops, I manage pick up the phone with very little injury besides an achy, slightly twisted ankle. "Hi! Hi, sorry, I'm here. Hello?"

Pouting, I sit down at the kitchen table; Rubbing my poor ankle to sooth the pain, which would soon diminish anyway. Still- I'm sorry, ankle. I'll try to chill.

When the voice on the other end reveals who it is who's called the house, I lose all need to be pleasant. Damn. I really need to memorise this goddamn number... so I can not answer it. "Whatcha wearin'?"

"Thank god Harrison didn't answer this, you fuck." I deeply roll my eyes. Thank god Har's out. No, this is not my mister, not the man I was going to meet just now- but its bad, enough. In an entirely different way. Its stupid, blackmailing, son of a... hundred maniacs. "What do you want?"

"What a way to answer the phone, Y/N. Gee, seems like every time I we talk, I'm learning how you really aren't in the right place, are you? Cheating on your poor husband, swearing... These aren't really signs of the perfect suburban house wife, is it?" Gritting my teeth, I keep from lashing out. I've learned, if you stay real quiet, Freddy wont have anything to pull from and will get bored quick. "Why so silent, hm?"

"... " Oh, fuck me. I cant help it. "Wondering where you get off judging me on being 'suburban', actually."

"Anywhere I like, thanks."

Oh... oh. Gross?

He doesn't see the disgust tearing my face into two perfect halves right now, but my silence must be enough as he laughs. The sound is directly into the phone, and harsh on my poor eardrums. Ugh... "Oh for gods sake... What are we? Fourteen years old?? Come on- why'd you call?"

"Uhhhh... " Quickly, midway through that drawn out 'um' sound, Freddy's voice transitions, and gets a whole lot darker. Something deep in his chest dislodging, to make it so. Perhaps, his heart. "Well... you might wanna come and see for yourself."

"Uh, I don't think so. I have somewhere to be right now- "

"Oh well you don't, anymore." And its clear what he isn't saying- or else I'll tell Harrison about Carter and set your life on fire. "Tell your boy toy you're takin' a reign check for the day. I think you'll last. In fact... after you come over here, you might be out of the game for a couple a hours at least- maybe days."

Hold on, hold on Freddy what the fuck- "What!?"

"... Believe it or not, I didn't actually mean for that one."

Moron.

~

Nevertheless, no matter how just... off setting, Freddy is, I had to when he asked. I had to jump when he said so.

Because if not, then he would tear my life apart.

So here I am, about to knock on that big red door he lives behind, wondering what I'm walking into. Where's Loretta? Where's Kathy? How long will the visit be? I told Carter I'd be an hour or two late- any longer and I wont see him at all today. Which would absolutely suck.

Just after my knuckles come down on the wood the first time, a hand comes down on my shoulder and I immediately jump out of my skin... then slowly look around.

There's Freddy, a cheeky grin on his face. It does nothing to set my nerves at ease. "Ugh... Why are you out here?"

"We're going to the backyard. Lets go." Taking me by the shoulders, he marches me around the side of the house, instead of through it for some reason, and into the familiar backyard. I've been here numerous times, as Loretta likes to hold our club meetings here - Barbecue's, tea's... that sort of thing. Just to let the kids play together and so the adults can enjoy some adult conversation. Its a nice yard... but depending on what her horrid husband is about to show me, it may not be considered as such anymore... - , but I'm now starting to develop a sick feeling in my stomach.

Honestly- I don't know much about Freddy at all. Yes, I went to school with him, but that doesn't mean much when he was a freaky loner kid the whole time. I remember he killed the class hamster once- that's about the only splash he ever made in the news pool; But it definitely stuck.

Yes, Loretta cleaned up his image a fair bit since getting married, but now he's blackmailing me, and as far as I know I'm now alone with him.

Suspicious of him suddenly, I slip out of his grip with a dirty look flashed his way. Don't touch me.

He just rolls his eyes, leading me around some hedges.

And then everything stops.

Him, me, the air; The air around me, the breeze, the breath in my throat.

There lays Loretta, on the ground. If I was really really naïve, I could imagine she were sleeping... or passed out, at least, due to the way she's sprawled out. No one would lay down like that willingly.

But... her eyes are open.

For a moment I'm tempted to kneel down; Take a closer look. Find out how, myself. Is she bleeding anywhere that I cant see now? Are her lips turning blue? If I moved some short red hair out of the way- would their be marks on her neck yet?

But then I come to my senses...

And freak. The fuck. O u t.

"What, the fuck, did you do!?" I whip around, looking at Freddy now which entirely new eyes. I mean, before I sure wasn't fond- but now I'm filled with something new, looking at him. Something a lot worse, something that makes me want to run. Run, and hide, and stay there.

And all these, even though he hasn't really changed. He still wears a mischievous smirk, stony blue eyes eating up my reactions... like always. But this time its just so so much worse. "Made some dead weight- now you're gonna help me get rid of it. So!" Finally, though its been only a matter of seconds, he turns his gaze off of me and I'm glad. That gaze is far too heavy. "Ideas?"

Only for a moment am I lost for words, struggling to push anything out. "I... I'm sorry??"

His gaze returns to mine, but this time my eyes are hard as his are dark. "Help. Me. Get rid of her. Fucking. Body. Or do you want your dirty laundry aired for the whole community to hear?"

Before I can help myself, I let out a sharp laugh, only succeeding in making Freddy's scowl deeper. "Freddy- this secret's a lot bigger, then mine. Sure, I might get divorced- but you're going to prison!" Does he get that? He's g o i n g to j a i l. Crossing my arms, I try to avoid looking at my ex-friend's body. I cant. "I'm sure as hell not gonna be in there with you, for being an accomplice."

I really cant look at her... I can only focus on Freddy. And that takes a lot of energy- its taking everything in me, in fact. Everything I have. But I have to. If its him or her, there's no choice.

But... then a creepy smile spreads across his face- a vast polarity to the frustrated glower of before. It makes my blood run cold.

"Ohhhh..." He looks almost ferocious, even in his composed state. Like a monster. Like any moment a fanged, inhuman creature is going to burst out of him and I'm going to wake up, and this will have been a nightmare. A horrible nightmare. The kind where that creature haunts me for a long time, after its over. After this over.

He's going to haunt me.

"You must think this is my first time... " My heart turns to ice, mouth hanging a little open... what the fuck have I found myself a part of!? Suddenly all the children's disappearances on the news lately come to the forefront of my brain... "Sweetheart, give a man his dues. I'm a hard working kinda guy... " I watch his gaze flicker to a door - the back door? No... The basement door, - and when a filthy smirk pulls at his mouth, my heart flies up into my throat. God, it makes me feel sick. I want to be violently ill. "My first was my adoptive Dad... pretty sick, huh?"

The fact that he didn't say anything about the basement, makes my imagination go wild. I swallow it down, though.

I just need to get out of here, and never think about this again.

And to do that I need to help Freddy get rid of this goddamn body- and... probably... testify at court... As the panic starts to finally rise up in my, right up to fill my throat, I immediately take in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Okay... " No time to freak out. Now's the time for action.

Gaze flickering to Loretta again, I try to acclimatise to the sight. I think its a lost cause, though. "How did you get rid of him? Your Dad?"

"No, that's not gonna work. He was a drunk dead beat, and I just had to tell the police some guy's he owed money to came over to the house." Freddy grins happily at the memory, but then just as quickly, scowls at his poor deceased wife's body- that certainly cant fight back. I just tack this onto the long list of reasons I hate him. "Lore's such a goddamn goody goody- we cant do the same thing. You don't think I woulda thought of that??"

"Hey." I snap, hands braced on my hips as I flash a glare his way. "This is not the time to get defensive!"

"Whatever... "

Then- suddenly, something occurs to me. Confused, I look around; A deeply horrified feeling disturbing my stomach. "Hold on... Where's your daughter?" Seeing no sign of her anywhere, I definitely start to panic again- especially when I look to Freddy and just see a pert look in his eyes as he looks back at me, a smile that strikes something horrid inside me. My eyes narrow. "You sick fuck- where the fuck is she!??"

"Under the bed."

"What the fuck does that mean!?" I exclaim, frustrated and freaking out. He did not- he did not! Killing your spouse is one thing, but the kid?? Your own kid??

I don't wait around for him to be cryptic some more, and rush right into the house to look for her. Under the bed, under the bed, under the fucking bed...? Which fucking bed!? Forcing ferocity out of my voice, I carefully call out to Kathy. Hoping to god she answers. I try to sound normal. Maybe a little bit cheerful; Excited.

But my voice wobbles.

"Kathy?? Sweetheart, its Y/N! Are you hiding? I have something for you... " ?? You have something for her, Y/N?? God... now you have to figure out some kind of treat.

You know what? Whatever. We'll figure that out later.

Lets just hope we aren't searching for a corpse. I'd definitely be sick, seeing a child... the way Loretta is...

Shaking my head and clenching my fists, I try to focus on Kathy.

I check under the bed in the guest room because it comes into view first and she isn't there, then her bedroom and she isn't there either... and get a sick feeling as soon as I enter the last bedroom. Freddy's and Loretta's.

God, I've never been in here before but its like a museum peace now. A horrible one. Like if you would walk into the Titanic... or the Borden house.

"Kathy? You in here?" Flicking on the light I kneel down on the ground, and check under the bed.

And something immediately crashes over me, as the sight of her covering her eyes down there. It isn't exactly relief, because this whole situation is still phenomenally fucked up for her, but I am selfishly glad to not have to see her body... crumpled, just like her mother.

"Hey sweetheart," My voice quivers slightly now, but I quickly swallow. No. No. Now, you must be strong Y/N. "Its just me. Your Daddy was looking for you, and couldn't find you! It got him worried!"

"I... I don't wanna see Daddy. He hurt Mommy." Kathy doesn't remove her hands from her face, and stays firmly by the wall- too far away for anyone to grab. My heart sinks.

Slowly straightening up again, I try to take that piece of information in. Turning to the doorway, I see Freddy there. he must have followed me. I didn't even notice. Slowly, and quietly ferociously, I say; "She saw?!"

He has the good sense to look embarrassed, even if it is just to make fun of me. "It was spur of the moment... " He shrugs. "I didn't have time to get a babysitter!"

What a fucking excuse. For gods sake.

I'm definitely dealing with a psycho- if that was even a question before now.

Swiftly, I look down under the bed again, because I'm afraid that if I continue to engage with him- I'll scream, and I'll lose my breath, and I'll scare Kathy even more. She's at the forefront of my mind; That's all I can think about.

But what to do with her after I get her out from under this bed, I don't know. I cant give her back to her father... but I cant hand her over to the police either because that would involve telling them about Loretta, and... Freddy will definitely kill me, for that.

This is a nightmare of a situation.

I'm just opening my mouth to say something - what, I don't know yet, - when she speaks, instead. "Is he there?"

"... Yes." I wont lie to her; That would be treating her with not nearly as much respect as she deserves.

When she takes a deep breath and rubs her eyes, as if just trying to keep herself together, my heart clenches. God... and to think I might not have picks up Freddy's call today. I would have been leaving her with this. For the first time today, I'm morbidly glad I came.

She speaks in that loud, hissy way that kids think is a whisper. "Can he... can you please make him go away?"

Immediately I straighten back up and look to Freddy again, my eyebrows raised halfway up my forehead. Like well? "Get out."

"I don't think you're in a position to make demands here, bi- "

"Do you want Kathy to live down there now!??" I snap, trying not to be scared. Not really feeling scared, actually. Just happy to have a reason to tell him to get the hell away from me.

A deep frown creases his mouth, deeply unhappy about the situation, but steps back. I only hear him step out of the way of the door, but its good enough. Quickly, I get up and close the door - fighting with myself not to slam it, - and lock it.

Then I return to the floor, and see this time Kathy has uncovered her eyes. She looks so small, smaller then she actually is, and she looks like she's shaking. Little red bows and piggy tails in her hair are messy from crawling under the bed. "He's gone, sweetheart. And I locked the door."

She just nods, so I take the silence as a chance to offer my hand to her. "Take my hand, sweetie? Come on out from under the bed. Its cold down there, and no one wants you getting sick." I need to upkeep the family friend bit, I need to sound caring and collected. I need her to trust me.

Her big eyes, not Loretta's colour or Freddy's, look nervous as hell. And she shakes her head.

Taking a deep breath, and I conjure all the sincerity as I can. And mean it. My eyes soften and I try really hard, to resent myself as someone trustworthy- which is hard, seeing as I've never really been that. I mean, I'm cheating on my husband. I told Carter today the same lie I told Harrison when i knew I was going to be late. The only person I think who knows the truth behind all my lies is Freddy. That says something about a person, that the only person who knows them is a psychopath.

But I want to, I need to, be good for this little girl. And there's no time for me turn my life around so it has to start with this. How fucked is that?

"... I promise, I'll take care of you. He wont hurt you."

After a few whole minutes, in which I stay silent because yes she's a child, but she's still thinking, she crawls over and takes my hand, letting me lead her out. Crawling into my lap as I cross my legs under her, she buries her face in my shirt- hiding. "You promise?"

Taking a deep breath, because I've really done it now, I offer my pinky for her to see if she turned her head. I know Freddy's listening to all of this through the wall, but I try not to freak out. "Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear." She peaks out from my shirt, and curls her little finger around mine. Okay... "Y/N... I'm scared."

"Yeah... Me too, sweetie."

What am I going to do?

[alrightsnaps]

(Part one) can I just say I love your responses to the violet/Anthony relationship. i mean there’s the weird idea that fandom shouldn’t ignore men’s trauma, when every single fandom I have ever been in has hyper fixated on one man and his man pain while defending every action of his often while blaming other characters for it- often female characters. i don’t understand why fandom thinks that Anthony is still 18years old OR this weird fandom idea that violet had post partum depression after hyacinths birth so anthony was responsible for looking after the kids. there is no canon basis for her having post partum depression. like the books and tv show make it pretty obvious that violet did the majority of the child caretaking and knew her children very well although Anthony of course was still involved. this whole blame placed on violet is literally done to give Anthony more trauma & sadness- same as the idea that violet favour benedict or Colin or Daphne over him. I mean if anyone is the favourite wouldn’t it be hyacinth who violet literally claims saved her and probably let her get away with too much. but of course that wouldn’t make anthony more sympathetic in the way that benedict being violets favourite would.

(Part two) I hate how fandom acts like Anthony - a literal lord in the regency era is the most oppressed character with the most tragedy in the whole show. all his flaws are blamed on violet or Siena or Daphne or Simon. Violet traumatises him bc she tells him to grow up, Daphne is a crappy sister bc she had the audacity to kiss a guy she was not married to causing him to duel- no sympathy for the restricted societal norms that Daphne has faced. Siena ofcourse caused anthony misery bc she made a joke abt the watch- but no one cares that he tossed her onto the street. And ofcourse Simon was a shit friend cause he didn’t marry the girl he kissed until he was forced to despite anthony doing the same thing in the study. I actually like show anthony but fandom Anthony is a different story. You can like a character without needing to blame all their bad actions on someone else. Sorry for the long rant.

Bless you anon, feel free to rant to me any time!

I think fandoms’ hyperfocus on male trauma is a damn good reflection on how men's pain is treated by society in general and actually taken seriously and how women are usually blamed for the actions of the men in their lives. It's the fault of the mother when her son grows up to be a raging misogynist because she shouted at him when he was in the third grade etc. I've never NOT seen people focus on men's mental health and prioritise it over women, fandom or not. It kinda brings to mind how some people when talking about the sexual abuse of a man will use the all-time-classic “if the victim was a woman things would be different!” to emphasize that men have it worse and men's trauma isn't being taken seriously. Since.....women have it easy and are usually believed when they speak up or see the perpetrators facing any consequences I guess??

(Funny thing is I remember reading somewhere about the opposite happening, and judges giving harsher sentences when it comes to men rather than women being sexually abused by other men.)

Sorry, I'm ranting.

Anyway, regarding Anthony I absolutely agree. I also like his character a lot and I'm really interested to see how they'll develop his arc in season 2 with Kate in the picture. But the way he's infantilised by the fandom is just annoying tbh and too familiar. Everyone is at fault except *checks notes* the super privileged male character whose actions are always the fault of someone else, usually a woman.

I remember how people went after Simon for saying that thing about his father to provoke him (which personally I thought was savage🔥 as🔥 hell 🔥after everything he pulled in season 1) or Violet for not “letting” him be with Siena. Meanwhile Anthony fooled around with Siena all season just because he could, left her high and dry after committing to take care of her, kept approaching her afterwards even though he had no intention to marry her and then–and that's the richest part– he was about to throw her to the wolves by bringing her to a ton party as his mistress. Like...this is supposed to be a man who has been a Viscount for ten years. He had to know that they would tear apart Siena. And instead of either leaving her alone or, if he decided to marry her, asking for his family's support as he presented her as a fiancée (having Daphne and Eloise befriend her, ask for his mother to support the match in the ton etc)...he was about to just about to bring her to Simon and Daphne's party with no safety net whatsoever! And then he was surprised when she told him to fuck off!

It just blows my mind how self-absorbed much of his s01 behaviour was. He was legitimately acting like an 18-year-old the entire season, while also being convinced that he knows better than any woman in his life affected by his decisions.

[catboymingi]

wish

navi/masterlist

pairing: hongjoong x reader

genre: some angst if you try really hard, fluff

word count: 4k

warnings: mingi being bad at halloween (this is FLUFF and fluff ONLY)

a/n: would you believe this, something that’s not mingi... who would’ve thought this day would ever come

six years and three months have passed since you last talked to hongjoong. five years and ten months have passed since you moved in with mingi. five years and seven months have passed since you gave birth to your daughter. not even a day has passed since you last missed the man that had once been your everything.

this was your first halloween with your daughter, and it had been neither your nor her idea to celebrate, actually. instead, ‘the best uncle on earth’ (as mingi commonly called himself) had insisted that she now was big enough and that she deserved the candy. you knew, though, that he wanted to dress up more than her, and that he’d most definitely steal your candy, at least. he had a massive sweet spot for your child, so her candy might be safe. might. or you might just have to lock it away. 

you couldn’t be mad at him, though - he was the only one that had been there for you when you got pregnant, that had been there when you’d given birth, that had made it possible, through rigid scheduling and his parents’ money, for you to finish your degree even though you had a daughter at home. it was weird because you hadn’t even really been close before your world came crashing down, but he proved himself to be the biggest help you could ever have asked for. so maybe, he was actually the best uncle on earth.

“are you ready?” of course it was mingi screaming, not your daughter. you’d insisted that she wouldn’t get to go trick-or-treating until she was five, because you knew not everyone was sensible enough to remember that there were small children outside that would get deadly scared at the kind of decoration some people found to be appropriate, and you wanted to prevent her from getting traumatised by random severed hands. but that had also meant that mingi had had to wait for five years to get to have a good excuse for why he got dressed up and excited like this.

“you look ridiculous”, you laughed at the tall man who had proudly told you he’d be a werewolf but looked more like a werepuppy.

“i don’t need your approval when i have toive’s!”, he told you, sticking his tongue out at you despite being 27 years of age. “and she said i look very scary and that she trusts me to protect her from all the bad and evil vampires! now get ready, we want to go!”

you smiled contentedly as you put on your black lipstick, the last little touch needed for your witch costume. you really were glad to have mingi, to have someone that could at least somewhat fill in the role of toive’s father. he made sure that your daughter never lacked anything and, admittedly, spoiled her a little much sometimes, but it was okay because it was done with love.

“done. let’s go?” both the werepuppy and the little piratess that barely reached up to mingi’s waist nodded enthusiastically, and you grabbed the big plastic bags that you’d spent the day painting to look more halloween-y and less grocery store-y.

going trick-or-treating was more fun than you’d expected it to be, your daughter scoring more candy than mingi and you combined by threatening every single person on whose doorbell you rang with having them go on the plank if they didn’t hand over all their candy.

“it’s unfair”, your best friend whined out when toive had once more scored twice the amount of candy as him and you combined, “when she threatens people it’s cute but if i threaten people i bet they’d call the police!”

“that’s because you’re a giant that could break my arm without effort”, you explained to him, laughing at his exasperation. it was just candy, but you knew he had a sweet tooth - she’d probably gotten it from him, even though they weren’t even related. bad influence. but it was cute, too, how happy and excited they both were, the excitement carrying over to you even though you’d insisted you weren’t a fan of halloween at all. but how could you not get excited when both of them were near vibrating with joy? your two favourite people were having so much fun and seeing them happy was all you needed to be happy yourself.

that happiness didn’t last long, however, when you rang on another doorbell, not thinking much of the surname ‘kim’ - near half of south korea’s population was called kim, so it didn’t even occur to you that it might be a very specific kim, a kim whose condom had ripped six years ago and had subsequently caused you not only the hardest time in your life but also more happiness than you’d ever thought possible once your little darling was born. a kim whom you’d never even told, because he’d had to move away before you even found out you were pregnant, and whom you didn’t want to hold back from his dream, so you just broke things off with him instead, claiming you were going back to finland. but it was this very specific kim, it was kim hong joong who opened the door for you and sent your heart into a frenzy.

“shit!”, you cursed out as soon as you saw his face, recognised him even behind his eye patch and fake beard, momentarily forgetting that your daughter very much should not be hearing curses yet, but luckily mingi got your back.

“shiny lights!”, he chimed in as soon as he heard the first few letters of the inappropriate word leaving your lips, successfully distracting toive from the fact that you were incredibly out of it, pointing to all the little lanterns in hongjoong’s garden. her eyes lit up, admiring the pumpkins he’d carved, and you were grateful that he’d put so much effort into decorating his lawn because it distracted her enough for you to have a few moments to collect yourself.

“y/n?” of course he’d recognised you, too, it would’ve been too good to be true if he hadn’t. and then his eyes went to mingi and toive, and you started panicking. he couldn’t accurately guess how old she was, but your reaction and the way you’d broken things off without ever even having hinted at you wanting to go back to europe back then made him suspect that she was his.

“your daughter?”, he asked, and you thanked the heavens that he had enough common sense to be silent so she’d not hear. you just nodded, not trusting your voice right now, and his next question sent even more panic jolting through your body.

“mine?”

now you had to talk, because she was here and mingi wouldn’t be able to distract her forever, and you couldn’t sort all this now. you couldn’t.

“not now. i’ll give you my number and you can text me, and we’ll meet tomorrow or something, but please, for her, not now.” and because he was still as kind and understanding as he’d always been he nodded, getting out his phone and saving your contact before getting your darling’s attention, pretending he didn’t have any kind of connection to you or her.

“hey, little pirate! have you found a treasure yet?” she turned around with so much energy that she’d have landed on her butt if mingi hadn’t caught her, then she came back to where you were still standing at the door.

“you’re a pirate, too!” she admired his big hat and the plastic sword dangling from his side, and he nodded.

“the scariest pirate in all of the seven seas. i have so many treasures i don’t even know what to do with them all. would you do me a favour and take a little gold from me, mate?” and he leaned down with a smile, holding the bowl filled with chocolate gold coins out to her.

“can i?” she looked up at you with the biggest puppy eyes and you couldn’t help the smile spreading on your face. and hongjoong noticed it, too, noticed the fond expression and his heart hurt a little at the thought that this precious little gem might be his daughter, and at the memory of the heartbreak he’d gone through back then.

“but you need to ask the captain how much you can take”, you told her and her little head bobbed up and down as she nodded enthusiastically.

“captain, sir, how much gold may i take?” and she was so precious that he was about to just hand her the entire bowl. but the last little bit of reason left in him told him that then he’d not have anything for the other kids that would inevitably come, so he had to restrain himself.

“how about you two swordfight and the winner decides?”, mingi suggested, mainly just wanting to buy you some time to check up on you. he knew that hongjoong was the father, of course he knew, and he knew that the man didn’t know. so this situation had to be really hard on you.

he didn’t know if it was because hongjoong sensed what he wanted to do or if he really just wanted to play more with toive, but he immediately agreed, getting out his sword to fight the little piratess, ‘arg’s and ‘urg’s to be heard from them while mingi put his hand on your shoulder before pulling you into a hug.

“you okay?”, he asked quietly, and you nodded, even though you weren’t sure if you actually were.

“he didn’t make me talk it out now, so that’s all i could ask for. i’ll probably have to tell him tomorrow”, you all but whispered into his shoulder, holding his biceps tightly to ground yourself a little as you felt the panic hit you again.

“you know he’s nice. and if he isn’t, i’ll beat his ass.” and had it been anyone else you’d thought this threat was just to make you feel better, but because you’d lived with this man for so long now you knew that he absolutely would.

“thanks”, you said before disattaching yourself, walking back to where the two pirates were still fighting. but when hongjoong saw you come back he took the final blow, sinking to the ground as if he’d received a deadly hit.

“you were a worthy opponent, little pirate. now it is up to you how much gold you will take from me.” and toive’s eyes shone brighter than the lamps surrounding you and the fake gold in his bowl as she put both her little hands in and grabbed as much as she could take - which, admittedly, wasn’t much, so mingi decided to help out because his hands were about as big as your head.

“you won, you deserve the reward”, he told your daughter as he scooped an entire handfull into her bag. he glared at hongjoong as he did so, a warning to not fuck up, and suddenly he did look like a werewolf rather than an adorable werepuppy. but his expression softened as soon as he looked at your darling that was his darling just as much, and the other man could tell that he cared. so at least the girl hadn’t had to miss out on anything.

you left for the next house soon after, your daughter and her costume twin ‘arrr mate’ing at each other, and again the tall man proved to be your hero as he pointed at another decoration to get her attention away from you and your ex-love for a little so you could decently say goodbye, because he could tell you needed that.

“i’ll text you soon”, hongjoong told you, and you nodded.

“thank you.” he knew for what. for not causing a scene even though he had all right to, technically, because your daughter didn’t have to see that. shouldn’t have to see that. and then you left, again, and he felt his heart break just a little as your form disappeared.

it was thanks to the werewolf that the night continued to go smoothly until it was time to head home, and he tucked toive into bed while you took a moment to yourself in the bathroom, wiping off your makeup as you tried to calm your rapid heartbeat. then you joined the two of them in her room, pressing a little kiss onto her forehead and promising that you’d hexed all the bad dreams so they couldn’t haunt her, and mingi promised her that he’d bite any vampire that tried to come close.

once she’d fallen asleep you left for the living room, him staying by your side as you grabbed your phone, knuckles white from the force you used as you gripped it. he put a hand on your leg in comfort as you unlocked it, and of course hongjoong had already messaged.

[unknown]: this is hongjoong

[unknown]: tomorrow, 10am, playground?

[unknown]: /location/

you sighed, then replied.

[y/n]: you know im not bringing toive

and his message appeared almost immediately after, as if he’d been staring at his phone ever since he first texted you.

[unknown]: yeah

[unknown]: but i remember you liked them. said they were calm

he was right. even before your daughter had lit up the playground with her bright smile you’d loved spending time there, sitting on the swings and staring up at the sky whenever you had something to talk about. that feeling had never left, even though you now had yet another reason to love playgrounds.

[y/n]: ill be there

and even though hongjoong wanted nothing more in that moment than to tell you that he missed you he knew he shouldn’t, so he left you on read instead, though both his thoughts and his heart were racing.

while he hadn’t been able to await the next day it came all too soon for you, and mingi once more promised that if hongjoong pulled any shit he’d beat his ass into next week. he was babysitting toive today, had promised her a movie and candy day so she wouldn’t miss you, and you couldn’t be more grateful to have him. maybe she didn’t have a father, and you didn’t have a partner, but the two of you had him, and he more than made up for it, even though it had cost him several dates. you were his priority, and you loved him for that.

the man was already waiting at the playground when you arrived, early as always and beautiful as always. he wasn’t wearing the pirate costume today, but neither were you dressed up as a witch, both of you looking casual but differently so. he looked purposefully casual, while you looked like you’d rolled out of bed and just put on whatever, dressed just to not be naked. and that was a pretty good representation of your emotional state - you just came here completely unprepared, you came because you had to. and you were scared.

“hey”, he greeted you quietly, but instead of greeting back you just burst out: “she’s yours.”

there was a moment of tense silence before he replied.

“i already guessed so. from the way you were acting.” you nodded; there wasn’t really anything to say to that, anyway.

“you’re doing alright? mingi’s taking care of you?” of course he remembered mingi, the goofy tall guy that you’d spent quite some time with, but he knew you hadn’t been as close to him back then as you obviously were now. he got an explanation though when you began talking.

“yeah, he’s been there ever since i found out. big scary guy, threatening aura, keeping me from the worst when i couldn’t really hide it anymore. he let me move in right away and he’s basically like a dad for toive now.”

it was a lot of information to take in at once, so he tried to find something small to focus on.

“her name’s toive?”

“it means ‘wish’”, you elaborated. “i was horrified as shit the entire pregnancy, so i hadn’t even come up with a name yet when i delivered. but as soon as i saw her i knew she was a wish come true. so i just called her that.”

“it’s a beautiful name.” you knew it was. it reminded you of the home you’d left behind to build yourself a new one, and it reminded you that sometimes the most unexpected things could be what your heart wished for. it reminded you to keep going, because you wanted to make her every wish come true. it was a very fitting name.

“she’s a beautiful girl.”

you saw him smile at that, smile at the memory of the little piratess he’d fought with the night before. but then he asked the question you’d dreaded most.

“why didn’t you ever tell me? you know i would’ve been there for you.”

a sigh left your lips, because of course you knew. and that was exactly why you hadn’t told him.

“when i found out you’d already moved. you were thriving and i couldn’t bring myself to hold you back like this. you deserved to live your life as you wanted to without having to worry about a family you never asked for.”

“did you ask for it?”, he asked you, and you shook your head. as much as you loved the little family you’d built with mingi, you hadn’t asked for this to happen.

“and would you want to go back to change this?” you shook your head again, and he grabbed your hand.

“so why do you think i would’ve regretted it? would’ve not wanted to know?”

you had no answer to that. maybe because back then you’d still been convinced the pregnancy would ruin your life, so it didn’t occur to you that he might not feel the same way. that he genuinely might want to be there.

“can i be there now?”

“you can get to know her, if you want to. but she doesn’t know you, doesn’t know who you are, and i’ll have to figure out how to tell her. so you can’t be there as her dad, not yet and maybe never, if she doesn’t want you in her life. if you can’t accept that, if you can’t put her first, i don’t want you there.”

he took in your words and nodded. he’d last seen you six years ago, so obviously she’d spent quite some time without knowing about him at all, and he knew he couldn’t just barge in and act like he’d been there all her life. he was a stranger, even though that hurt a little.

“does she have a dad?” and even though his phrasing was a little weird you understood what he meant. he wanted to know if mingi was her father, if not legally or physically then emotionally.

“she has an uncle that would lay down the world for her. and that won’t hesitate to break a few bones if she gets hurt, just so you know.” but you were smiling, finally starting to relax a little.

“i don’t doubt it for a second”, he chuckled, “he seemed about ready to kill me at the door. he really cares about you two, doesn’t he?”

you nodded, smile growing bigger at the mention of the taller man, and hongjoong felt a small sting when you told him how you’d never want to miss him, how mingi was as much a part of your life as toive was, how it was so clear that you belonged together.

“do you love him?” he didn’t know why he asked. he didn’t know why he hoped you’d say no. he didn’t know why he cared and he didn’t know why the thought of you being with mingi made his chest feel tight. he hadn’t seen or talked to you in years, so why did he hope that he still held a place in your heart? why did you still hold a place in his?

“i do, of course i do”, you told him, at least as surprised at his question as he was. “he’s like a brother, he’s been there all this time and it’s only thanks to him that i’m where i am today. but i don’t love him the way i loved you, if that’s what you meant.”

“you loved me?”

you didn’t understand why he sounded so startled about that. the two of you had gotten together pretty much right after you started university, and you’d been together for more than a year when he moved, planning to stay together for many more until life decided that it had other plans. of course you’d loved him. part of you still did.

“you were the first person i ever wanted a future with like that. of course i loved you. you meant everything to me.”

“i wish you’d never left.” his voice was very quiet, pained, made you want to hold him and apologise, but you didn’t know if that’d be okay with him.

“i missed you everyday. even yesterday, i still missed you. it’s dumb, but even though it’s been six years i still hoped you’d somehow come back into my life. and here you are, so maybe it’s not that dumb.”

now there was no stopping your arms from going around his waist, your face pressed to that one spot between his neck and his shoulder that had always felt like it was made for this purpose only, as you quietly told him you’d missed him too.

“it was so hard to watch toive grow up to be more and more like you but not having you there to see it, too. when she’d start asking about her dad and i could only tell her stories even though i knew she wanted a real dad, like all the other kids. and all the stories i told, they kept me from ever getting over you, but i knew it wouldn’t be fair to keep even that from her just because i was hurting.”

hongjoong was holding you tightly, a hand in your hair and the other pressing you against his chest because he didn’t want you to go again.

“let me be a dad. and let me be there for you too.”

his words made you look up at him in surprise, because they sounded so soft and gentle and full of an emotion you didn’t think you’d ever get from him again, not directed towards you, at least.

“for me?”

and he was looking at you, eyes wandering from your forehead to your chin, not leaving out a single detail. you’d matured, but you were still just as beautiful.

“i didn’t stop loving you. still haven’t.”

his words surprised you, even though you hadn’t stopped loving him either. you didn’t know what to make of them, what he wanted you to do now. what he’d expected to happen now that he’d said this.

“can i kiss you?” of course he asked. he was still the same hongjoong, the same gentleman, the same man that always made sure whatever he was doing was okay with you before he tried, and he still caused the same butterflies to fly around in your stomach. but now you had someone else to put first, you couldn’t risk falling back in love with him, hopelessly so, only for it to end badly. you couldn’t risk that when you had a child.

“only if you mean it. and not just now, but every single day. only if you can promise that you won’t hurt me and, most importantly, that whatever happens between us won’t ever hurt my daughter. our daughter. can you promise that?”

“i promise.” and he’d never been more sure of anything.

“then kiss me.”

he did. he kissed you like you were the most precious thing in the world and he kissed you as if he wanted to prove that he meant it, that he loved you and had already fallen in love with his daughter and that he’d even learn to love mingi as part of his family. he kissed you as if to make up for the past six years when he couldn’t, and you kissed him back as if to make up for every moment you’d kept his daughter from him. you kissed each other like you were in love, and you were.

and finally, you got the happy ending you’d been wishing for ever since you first saw the positive pregnancy test. finally, you got a family with the love of your life. and finally, he got to stay with you.

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

In relation to an ask I got about Julian Bashir:

this ask I got has ideas about Julian essentially being forced through gender related surgery in connection with his augmentation.

So for starters, I’m not intersex, so I won’t try to go into details, just noting that this obviously brings to mind bullshit that intersex people have to go through and so that thinking will be laced through the text!

under the cut for length, no details about igm, but obviously if the idea is distressing don’t read - kind of meta that dovetails into a sort-of fic:

I wonder if the show had decided to do something like that, what would have inspired it/would they have realised that this is very much not a scifi concept even by a lot of their “this is the loosest of allegories you could allegory” standards.

The show does have a habit of doing things that makes me go “hey, wait, wha- was that… with awareness?” Ex. Soren in TNG self-identifying as a woman, everything Trill-related in the 90s, or even Quark getting easy reassignment surgery (disclaimer: always am torn on being like “yay, I guess no waiting lists for trans people ever again + the argument of “regret” clearly can’t exist any more + this a world where people… accept???” and… what it actually is. Which is a “women vs men” sexist as hell joke.)

I spoke about gender there, not because I’m equating, just because it’s stuff related to myself as an enby that I clung to. But also because if surgery isn’t a big-deal in the future then perhaps gender isn’t either? Which obviously isn’t true, because Star Trek mirrors the reality of the world it’s actually made in and makes abundantly clear that things’re still inherently gendered (moreso in some places than others).

So we ask why they might want to do something like this:

1. There are still biases against having a girl vs having a boy on an institutional level around the federation

2. They personally just can’t stop messing with Julian, maybe they had their heart set on “a boy” in the same way they wanted him to be “smarter” and “taller” etc. And they just suck (they do)

3. Julian is intersex and this is not an allegory at all even a little bit

Even if it was an allegory, it’d still be a pretty direct one, but just wanted to let you know how my brain is considering all of this, because I’ve never thought about it like that before, as my hcs about Julian were always that he chose any of the surgery he got in relation to his gender as a reclamation of his body (which he might still have made decisions about when he could, but for now gonna try and not tangent too much)

so let’s assume that you can’t just get a any kind of reassignment surgery and it’s just that ds9 is so far on the edge of the federation that general checks and balances in relation to “hey lets turn our friendly neighbourhood Ferengi into a woman” don’t exist out there like they do closer to earth.

And Julian personally is really fucking good at this surgery – why? Maybe because he’s made it part of his goal to know as much as possible about it, since it was done to him without his consent as a child.

Maybe what they did was “sort out” more obvious markers – anything on the outside of his body basically, and they left the womb, because nobody would notice that, which would make Julian saying he had one a slip-up up in that episode with Kira getting the O’Briens baby.

At the time people don’t know he’s an augment, so he probably wouldn’t be wanting to run around and have anyone ask him questions about surgeries that aren’t on his record – luckily nobody does.

In some ways this violation is the one he’s the most traumatised about to the extent that he can’t even speak about it to his parents, barring the one piece of selfhood he’s defiantly demanded: “I’m Julian, goddamit!”

They know why – of course they know. But like so much else they don’t talk about, they somehow seem to assume that not speaking makes it forgivable, invisible, erasable. It’s not.

After he’s been outed, once he has started interacting with the other augments, there’s a lot that he holds back – he’s not like them after all, not really. And to admit kinship is to open doors he’s been so afraid of opening for so long, that fear might as well be his truest expression of self.

It’s not until after the Dominion War, after deaths, imprisonment, torture, being outed and seeing others like him ostracised, mental health issues and a failed relationship with Ezri – not until after all that does he reach out to Sarina again, ask for forgiveness for trying to make her – and by extension himself – “normal.”

It’s not until then he can slowly begin to unpack everything about himself that he’s kept back, for fear it’d prove others right - - how he doesn’t feel entirely like a real person, just a collection of parts that were forced upon him, how he’s scared about what being proud of any bit of himself might be taken as, how he let down Sarina and the others - - and what his parents “threw in” to sweeten the deal.

And Sarina admits to him: she has the same fears, the same self-doubt, the same sadness. She asks Julian about preferred pronouns, about how he thinks of himself, about whether there’s anything he would want to do to own himself more…

For now, just the talking is good. And maybe they can meet up with the others again soon, this time without shame. 

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Riverdale 5x09 Review

Well I didn’t hate this episode like I hated the last one but I wasn’t exactly blown away by it either. It wasn’t a bad episode but I think my issue with it is if you dropped it into the middles of season 3 or 4 it would have fit in. It was fine it was just nothing new which you know doesn’t exactly make me excited to watch more. It was definitely one of those episodes where I either found myself checking to see how long was left or was rolling my eyes at something. Still there were moments I enjoyed. But without further ado lets jump in. As always these are just my own opinions and interpretation also there are clearly spoilers. 

 Betty and Polly

So a good chunk of this episode was following Betty as she continued to investigate what happened to Polly after finding the crushed telephone booth. Betty hears back from Glen and is told that the blood found on the booth is a match to Polly’s so with the amount of blood that is there it is likely she is dead. When she tells Jughead he tells her that he might have a lead, someone who might have seen something. So they go to see My Dreyfuss. He tells them on two other occasions a phone booth has been shredded like it was with Polly, in the summer of 77 and 82. He explains that its caused by the Mothmen ship’s antimatter fusion reactors which create a gravity field that allows them to levitate but anything that gets caught in that field gets crushed. Which you know sounds legit to me. Though I will say I did think the look Betty sent Jughead when Old Dreyfuss started talking about the Mothmen was hilarious. Needless to say Betty wasn’t exactly sold on this version of events. Which again I found kind of funny considering she hunted down something called The Gargoyle King in high school but apparently aliens are even too weird for Betty. 

I am not at all surprised that Polly’s storyline is linking up with the Mothmen one, I’ve been saying for a while now that I thought all the storylines would converge at some point and I expected that Jughead’s and Betty’s would be the first to do that. My theory is that the Mothmen mystery is to do with military testing and that will tie in Archie as well, I also think as the Mothmen body Nana Rose had was found in the maple groves, and Hiram has an interest in the maple groves, that Hiram’s storyline will also be linked in, which will also link in Veronica and the other characters who are going up against Hiram to save the town. I did wonder if maybe its not really Hiram that wants Riverdale to be shut down but rather some rogue section of the military who want to cover up the testing they’ve been doing and that’s why Hiram unincorporated the town, maybe the military are paying him to help them. 

So in her grief at what has presumably happened to Polly has sent Betty off the deep end. Now here’s the thing with this I appreciate that not every character’s development goes in a straight line. That’s what makes a character’s storyline interesting. There are twists and turns and they have set backs. That being said this return to dark betty didn’t really work for me. I mean I can understand that she is grieving for her sister, she’s going through trauma because of TBK and all that is making her turn back to her dark side. But for me I thought they wrote a good end to that whole storyline with her going under the hypnosis and kind of telling her younger self she could go play, and basically ‘killing’ dark betty before she is ever born. I liked how, well how I thought they had brought a close to that part of Betty’s character development. I honestly thought we were done with ‘dark betty’. But I guess not. I suppose we see where they take it maybe it will be well written but I’ll be honest it did kind of make me roll my eyes a bit in this episode, I just feel like it was a bit too on the nose and predictable especially after her speech last episode to Archie about how this thing with her sister would probably be the darkest she’d ever have to face. I said to myself then watch them bring back dark betty, so when they did I was just kind of like of course they are going there again. I think that was the issue was it is just more of the same stuff which I just find boring. 

There was one thing that I did find a little interesting though and that was the way she was thinking in that moment. The idea that the person in front of her was a horrible person who had hurt someone she loved and so deserved to have justice brought to him in the form of death. Sound familiar? Because it should, its exactly the same way Charles thinks. I do wonder if that was deliberate and we were suppose to draw a comparison between Betty and Charles there. 

I think in that moment when she is about to kill the trucker, Jughead’s call telling her that Logan had gone missing reminded her of why she was an FBI agent, to protect people and I think that kind of snaps her out of it. In that moment she could have killed that man or she could go and find the missing child who really needed her and who needed protection which is what she was saying earlier in the episode, that she wouldn’t let what happened to Polly happen to anyone else. At first she decided the best way to stop anyone else from getting hurt is by going after the truckers and stopping the women who are tricking there. But her method has flaws in it and I think getting that phone call reminds her that its not as black and white as she was looking at it.   

So poor Alice, I felt really bad for her in this episode she does seem like she was very much giving up hope. I mean Alice has been put through the wringer so I don’t really blame Betty for lying about it being a match to Polly’s blood I mean it wasn’t advisable because the truth was going to come out eventually but I could understand why Betty did it, she just couldn’t bear to take away the little hope that her mother had left. I am glad that Betty turned to Cheryl for this. I said that I thought if it came out that Polly had been killed then I thought Cheryl would be the best person to help Betty through that. You know different people can help with different things and like I keep saying how I really do think Archie will be the best person to help Betty through the TBK trauma I do think that Cheryl was the best person to help Betty here. She gave her some good advice even if Betty didn’t follow it. I think it was important what Cheryl said about how it is best to know the truth because then that allows you to grieve and heal and move on. I also loved that hug Cheryl gave Betty. If anyone needs a hug right now its Betty. Also I do like when they show Betty and Cheryl actually acting like family. 

So lastly I want to cover Glen. I’ll be honest Glen and Betty’s relationship confuses me. Because in the first episode of the time jump they seemed to have something going on between them in that they kissed. But I said then that it didn’t seem like Betty was that interested in him. But since then it seems like she just doesn’t like him at all. I could understand why she was angry in this episode when he says he’s sorry about Polly and she says that if he cared that he would have done something to help. I know Riverdale are trying to paint Glen as this bad person, like how he shows up at the end and tells Alice about the blood and takes over the case. I just know that they are trying to do this because they either want Glen to seem suspicious or they are actually going to go the route of he is evil and somehow involved in it all. What I will say to that is oh for the love of god please no, not this crap again. I just if they make another FBI agent a killer in this series I just no. Can we not keep rehashing the same damn storylines over and over. Can we please introduce a character to the show and not have them turn out to be some psycho because its just boring now. Also like I said I know they are trying to paint Glen as being the bad guy here, but it makes perfect sense for them to take Betty off this case. For one she is still a trainee who is severely traumatised by her capture by a serial killer. On top of that this case involves her family member, there is a reason why irl certain professions don’t allow you to work on cases involving your family members and that scene where Betty had tied the trucker up was seriously considering killing him is why. Firefighter, police, doctors, paramedics and I am going to assume FBI agents aren’t allowed to work on cases of a personal nature for that very reason, they are too invested and that clouds their judgement. Glen should have taken Betty off the case when Polly first went missing, or rather Betty should never have been on the case at all. Also the other question I have is if Glen is here who the hell is feeding Toffee? He better have brought that cat with him. When I made my prediction post for episode 10 I hadn’t seen the episode and so was very confused at the opening shot of the promo where Betty is slapping Glen squarely across the face but I am going to assume it has something to do with this situation. Or maybe he tries to make a move on her and she isn’t down for it? Or another situation is he could find out about her and Archie’s arrangement and make an unfavourable comment about Betty which she decided to set him straight about? Either way there is most certainly going to be some tension between Glen and Betty next episode. What I do find interesting is that apparently the only actors Glen’s actor is following are Lili, KJ, Hart and Wyatt so I am assuming that he has scenes with Archie, Charles and Chic. I do wonder if instead of having Glen turn out to be bad they just have either Charles or Chic kill him. 

To be honest I am still in two minds as to whether Polly is actually dead. On one hand that was a lot of blood on that phone booth and we do know that she was in that phone booth and someone was coming for her. On the other it seemed like they were being very careful to say it was the same blood type as Polly’s and not that it was Polly’s so there is that uncertainty. I mean if they have the blood surely they would be able to DNA match it not just go off the blood type? 

Jughead and Lerman. 

Ok so I’m not hundred percent sure what the point of this storyline was, I feel like its just another piece of the puzzle and we won’t really know the significance of it until the rest of the mystery is revealed. But what did annoy me was the fact that Jughead was reprimanded for talking to his student who he was worried about. I mean when the parents were like oh if you were worried something was wrong at home then why didn’t you come talk to us instead of ambushing our son. I mean the answer to that is obvious if the parents were mistreating their son then talking to them isn’t going to do any good because the parents would just lie. Even if they aren’t really doing anything wrong like these parents they might be wary about telling the truth out of fear of being judged, I mean they didn’t offer up that information about Lerman sleep walking until he went missing, so I think talking to his student was exactly the right thing for Jughead to do. Also since when was there another English class, I mean I thought the school was struggling with staff and that's why they needed the core four to become teachers? 

It does seem like something odd happened with Lerman with him going missing and then not being able to remember anything. What is very odd is that you’ve got two sets of missing people. You’ve got the women who keep showing up dead usually with some catastrophic injuries. Then you’ve got the men who disappear for hours at a time but then return but have no memories of where they’ve been. Yet all of it seems to be connected so the question is why are the women dying but the men are surviving? It because physically the men are able to take whatever the testing is but the women can’t and so their bodies end up with these terrible injuries. Or is it that whatever they use to wipe the memories of their test subjects doesn’t work on the women so they are forced to kill them after? I mean physiologically women and men are different so maybe the difference in the hormones or something is what’s causing this difference in outcome between women and men. 

By the end of the episode Lerman and his parents have moved out of town and haven’t left any forwarding details. This does seem a little weird but I guess maybe the parents are worried about what will happen to their son if they don’t get him out of there. 

Veronica, Archie and The Bulldogs.  

Ok I know I said I wasn’t a v*rchie shipper and that as a barchie I didn’t want to see any of that, but Riverdale you didn’t have to stick them in the darkest room ever to have them kiss. Like I know that Riverdale is known for bad lighting but that one scene between them was even more ridiculous than normal. Look if you like V*rchie then that’s all good, there were some scenes that I think were probably enjoyable for you and I am happy for the V*rchie shippers. For me though I don’t know if its just because I’ve seen so much of them at this point that its made my mind go numb to them but I just found their scenes boring. I was actually surprised they didn’t talk more, especially seeing as they’ve just got back together, she’s going through a divorce, but none of that was brought up. Their scenes seemed to be really short and not much happened in them, it was just a couple of kiss scenes and then one bed scene were Veronica says oh I have a plan and then that was kind of it. I thought they’d at least have a scene where they say something like ‘I’m so happy we got back together’ or ‘I’ve filed the divorce paper’s I just have to wait for Chad to sign them’. Just anything to get that continuity, but nope nothing.    

To be honest I really wasn’t that fussed about the football storyline. I did find it kind of funny that when presented with the problem of the team losing every game Veronica’s solution was to just throw money at it, like somehow that would magically make them better players. That being said there were some elements of it that I did enjoy. I loved Archie making that speech to encourage people to support their team. It is true that having a crowd behind you and supporting you makes a difference in sports so I liked that they put some attention on that. I also love Britta and I am so happy she was the one that scored. The other thing I liked was that when the kid who was like their star player, Derek transferred to Stonewell there wasn’t any tension between him and his old team. Like I think Hiram was expecting there to be but instead when they met on the pitch he and Britta were really respectful and just fist bumped and got on with the game and I loved that. Also after, he came and spoke to Archie and again he recognised that Archie had taught him something valuable that he was going to keep with him. Again it was very respectful and supportive. Both Archie and the team recognised that it wasn’t personal, it was just that Derek knew he had a better shot at going to college with a football scholarship if he was playing with the Stallions. 

Speaking of things that I liked, lets give a hand for Reggie. I have so much respect for the fact that when Hiram was saying he wanted Reggie to basically beat up some of the Bulldog players, Reggie refused and said it wasn’t necessary. Then when Hiram fired or ‘benched’ him as Hiram put it Reggie still didn’t back down and even said that he would be standing with the Bulldogs. Also it was good to see him back in that Bulldog jacket and even though it was a very small scene I loved the three way hug between Veronica, Reggie and Tabitha. 

Ok the other thing we had was that part of the plan to raise the teams spirits was to fill the stands, which you know makes sense, like I said I do think having a crowd supporting you makes all the difference. Cheryl decides that one thing that will fill the stands isn’t just a Vixen’s performance but one that includes her. Now me personally I don’t think she’s wrong, like if I heard that the new Vixen coach who was the town recluse and had spend the last seven years holed up in her gothic mansion of horrors was going to be putting on a performance with her Vixens, I am there, front row baby. This I want to see, at best it might actually be good and at worst it’ll be a cringefest but either way it’ll be entertaining as hell. I just think that scene with Cheryl performing was peak Riverdaleness. I know alot of people complain about those kinds of scenes but me personally I think they’re part of what makes Riverdale, well Riverdale. So I just choose to embrace the Riverdaleness of it all.   

Overall I think the issue with this whole football storyline is it is once again the same thing we’ve been seeing for the last four seasons. It’s Veronica and Archie vs Hiram and that’s just nothing interesting about that anymore. 

Kevin

So Kevin got his own storyline this episode and we got a little background story on him. I’m a bit conflicted about his storyline and this idea that he is ashamed of being gay because I never really got that sense before. To be honest I always thought he was proud and confident of being gay. However I could see him having this experience with his mother where he feels ashamed of being gay when she makes a insensitive comment and then him getting into the whole cruising in the woods as a coping mechanism. It also explains why he still continued with the cruising when the Black hood was around. But then if I remember rightly he did stop for a bit. So maybe he started to heal a bit and become more confident and then that incident with the director from Katy Keene happened and that made him feel ashamed again and brought all that back up again and Fangs was away alot Trucking so he asks for a open relationship so that he can turn back to that old coping mechanism of cruising. That would make sense to me but they don’t really touch on that trauma he experienced in New York with the director in this episode. 

Cheryl acting as a relationship councillor was sort of amusing. I mean it was sweet that she wanted to fix Kangs, I think she recognised that what she did was wrong and so she wanted to help mend it. But like Fangs said the games Cheryl played just brought up deeper issues that were already there. I feel so sad for both of them. I mean Kevin is clearly struggling but I really felt for Fangs when he said that Kevin had never really been all in and that he wants to know everything about Kevin the good and bad. In that moment I could see that Fangs really does love Kevin. Also I think the fact that Fangs hit the nail right on the head with Kevin being ashamed of being gay shows that Fangs really does know and understand Kevin. I do feel like Kevin’s view on things right now is very similar to how Betty was seeing things with Archie. I think like Betty didn’t want her darkness to effect Archie, Kevin doesn’t want his to effect Fangs. Both of these views are flawed though because when you’re at your darkest that’s when you need someone to draw you back to the light. I do hope he talks this through with Betty and little because I think they could both help the other see the truth of their situations. 

The scene in the sauna was rough to watch. Kevin didn’t deserve that, it was an obvious mistake, he misread the situation and there was no need for that guy to react with violence unfortunately, its sad to say, but we live in a world where this kind of thing happens, where toxic masculinity results in males reacting with hate and violence towards gay men and that is never ok. I don’t think this helped Kevin in dealing with his shame at being gay, it most likely made it worse and that just makes me so so sad.   

I’m not gay, so Kevin’s story didn’t hit me on a personal level like I think it might have for other viewers, but his scene with Tom when he was talking about how he was made to feel ashamed of being gay really moved me to tears. I think it was a very touching scene and both actors did a good job. I am so glad that Kevin did open up to his dad. I also thought it was really good how when Tom worried that he might have done something to make Kevin feel that way Kevin reassured him that he had always been supportive of Kevin and had never judged him and I do think that is why Kevin felt he could open up to Tom. Just everything about that scene was done really well. I really do hope that he does find the courage to talk to Fangs about it though. I think Kevin does still love Fangs and its not that he doesn’t want to be with him, its that he doesn’t think that he deserves to be and that is just heart breaking. I still have some hope for Kangs though and I’m really hoping we get to see Kevin healing and working through things. I do think next weeks episode might help Kevin realise what he really wants. We know that he is in a potentially life threatening situation with a gunman in the school so maybe that makes him reflect on his life choices. Seriously though nothing better happen to Kevin. 

Little bits

Ok so these don’t really relate to any of the other sections really so I just figured I throw them all together at the end here. 

I loved that little parallel to season 1 with Barchie where Betty hears Archie over the speaker and sort of looks up at the sound of his voice. Also that shot of Betty working on the car I don’t know why but she looked really pretty, I really like her hair in that shot. 

Sticking with Barchie this one is a complaint about continuity. Riverdale seems to really struggle with this for some reason. But like I said with Veronica and Archie and how there didn’t seem to be any connection with the events of the previous episode this is the same kind of thing. Last episode Betty said she wouldn’t go through everything with Polly alone she would still go through it with Archie and yet despite there being big changes in the case Barchie didn’t interact at all. It could have been something really small like Betty giving Archie a call to let him know that Polly’s blood was a match and him offering her help, her saying no it was ok focus on the bulldogs, him telling her he was there if she needed anything. It isn’t much it wouldn’t have taken up much screen time but it would have given a link back to the previous episode. The same can be said for Minerva. Last episode her and Cheryl kissed which to me was a major development in the relationship and yet in this episode she’s no where to be seen and she isn’t even mentioned. Again Toni, where’s Toni? I thought they would at least mention something like she’s on maternity leave or something. Nope nothing. In fact the only link back to last episode we got was Cheryl talking to Kangs about the games she played causing problems for them. It’s just one of the things that frustrates me with Riverdale the lack of continuity.

No idea what this might mean if anything but did anyone else notice that when Dreyfuss started talking about the Mothmen ship his little burner with the teapot on it, suddenly the flame became higher before it went back to normal? Like there was some kind of energy in play there maybe? 

I was really glad to see Tabitha interacting with people outside of Jughead and I liked the little scenes she got with Veronica. I know Erinn said in her instagram takeover that Tabitha would be interacting with alot of the other characters too soon so I am looking forward to that. As much as I love her and Jughead’s dynamic I think it’ll be interesting to see her with others. 

Ok well that’s it for this week. I am still looking forward to next weeks episode. I do feel like this episode was a bit of a filler episode but next week looks like its going to be action packed so it should be a good watch.   

[jungkookienoona]

Rescue and Rehabilitation 1

|Masterlist|

Summary:

In a time where it’s no longer legal to own a hybrid, Jungkook is part of the Hybrid Rescue and Rehabilitation Unit. This is the story of how he found you.

~ Trying to make as little contact as possible he draped the blanket over you, covering your nudity and offering you some warmth. “There. You’re safe now.”~

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Jungkook X Cat Hybrid!Reader (Y/N)

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of child abduction, suicidal thoughts (but no actual suicidal thoughts if that makes sense), mentions of non-con (before fic takes place), mentions of Nazis, mentions of human experimentaion on minority races, hybrid slavery, abuse, traumatised Y/N.

A/N: I was planning to upload this as a one-shot but I feel like I’ll be able to write more if I actually break it up into a mini series. Also I need validation because I submitted an altered version of this as coursework and made the changes suggested by my lecturer... then got marked down for making those changes...

Edit: I’m a dumbass and forgot to tag two very important people who read through this before uploading. Thank you @mhysaunburnt​ and @namjin-fangirling-again​ so much!

Word Count: 2731

It was just another day on the job, probably another false lead with some kid trying to piss off their neighbour by having the police turn up at their door. But Jungkook had a policy. ‘Always investigate a call’, he wasn’t the best in his unit for no reason after all. What unit was that? He was part of the Hybrid Rescue and Rehabilitation Unit. 

Hybrids were originally created by the Nazis during the Second World War to be super soldiers. Those who were experimented on to create this new species of human were those considered “subhuman” by the regime: The Jewish and Roma people. Luckily, the allied forces stumbled across the concentration camp in which these experiments were being conducted before they could be deployed. However, this did not mean a happy ending for the hybrids. They soon found themselves being used as soldiers for the allies, with more being created by the Russians using stolen research notes and prisoners of war. They modified the reproductive organs of the hybrids so that they can breed and multiply, along with their aging accelerated so they could be of use sooner.

The use of hybrid soldiers turned the tide of war but they were not given their freedom. Instead they were repurposed into slaves where they were explotied for free labour and sex trafficking.  A decade before Jungkook was born it became illegal to own, breed or sell hybrids. This happened due to an increased amount of people protesting the way hybrids were treated. Hybrids had become the new slaves. Yet 35 years since the law was implemented, since they were freed, hybrids were still being used as slaves. Abducted as children and sold to the highest bidder. It was Jungkook’s job to find these hybrids, arrest the perp and help the hybrid to become stable before reuniting them with their family.

So, taking a breath, he adjusted his backpack then raised his fist to the fading white door and gave a resounding knock. 

He heard a grunt from the other side of the door before there was a loud thud accompanied by a woman’s pained shout. He frowned. That wasn’t a good sign even if there wasn’t a hybrid in there. Once again, he knocked on the door, this time somewhat impatient to see what exactly was happening in there. There was some shuffling before the door was opened to show a sliver of a man’s face. His hair was matted and shaggy, eyes sunken and somewhat glazed, and his skin was pale and dirty. Possibly in his late forties, early fifties. 

“What d’ya want?” This man really needed to see a dentist. Teeth stained brown from coffee and cigarettes, some even missing or rotting. 

Squaring his shoulders, Jungkook mustered as much calm authority as he could, “We got a call about a disturbance. Possibly spousal related.”

A small lie but from experience, he found they would never let him in if he outright said he was there to find a hybrid. The man looked sceptical for a second before opening the door wider, revealing his torn, stained clothing. 

“Fine, ‘ave a looky-loo but ya ain’t gonna find shit.”

How drunk or high did the guy have to be to think Jungkook hadn’t heard the commotion that had happened inside? 

“I’ll be the one deciding if I’ve found anything or not.”

With that, he pushed past the man to enter the premises. Jungkook gave a quick scan of the main space. Cigarette butts littered the floor almost carpeting it. There were signs of struggle. In the centre of the room was an overturned table. On the left-hand side to that; a torn-up couch cushion, torn-up in a way that resembled how a cat hybrid would. Jungkook noticed a strange mark underneath one butt covered area. Crouching down, he swept away the mess to see ten fresh groves dug into the flooring. Claw marks. The female voice must have been a hybrid. And where the marks led to must have been where she was kept. Following them, he ended outside a metal door. He jimmied the handle and found it locked. Normally an officer would ask the occupant of the premises to unlock doors for them. But Jungkook wasn’t going to risk being ran out of the building. 

Once again crouching down, Jungkook pulled a lock picking kit from his pocket. It didn’t take him long to get the door open but the sight that met him had anger bubble in his stomach. There you were. Naked, beaten and bruised, chained to the wall by a metal collar around your neck. Turning on his heels, Jungkook marched back to where he had left the man and got his handcuffs from his belt. The man was stood by the front door, having a smoke, with his back to the angered officer. Perfect. Swiftly grabbing both the man’s arms, Jungkook pinned them behind his back and cuffed him.

“Sir, you are under arrest for the possession and abuse of a hybrid. You have the right to remain silent.”

He radioed in his arrest, asking for a squad to come out and take care of the perp as well as the crime scene so he could see to the hybrid. Luckily there was one close by who could be there in ten minutes. Once they arrived, Jungkook headed back to the room you were in. 

You looked absolutely terrified as you stared up at him, tears rolling down your cheeks as you gave a warning hiss. Jungkook quickly shrugged off his backpack and slid it closer to you then raised both hands in a gesture meant to pacify you. 

“It’s alright. No need to be alarmed. I’m here to help.” He said quietly as he got onto his knees to get level with you, shuffling towards you, “I’m going to undo the chains but you have to promise not to attack me.” He was wary of how your tail was wagging against the floor. With cat hybrids that could mean one of two things. You were excited at the idea of rescue or you felt threatened and about to attack. He hoped it was the former.

Finally, he reached you. Once again pulling out his lock pick kit, he kept eye-contact with you as he unlocked the collar. Not an easy feat. When you heard the lock click free you yanked the offending metal off and chucked it as far away from you as you possibly could. Jungkook went to place a soothing hand on your shoulder but you hissed at him once again.

“Whoa. Okay okay. I won’t touch you. Not without your permission.” Slowly, he reached for his backpack, unzipping it to pull out a large fleece blanket. Trying to make as little contact as possible he draped the blanket over you, covering your nudity and offering you some warmth. “There. You’re safe now.”

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It wasn’t exactly easy to get you out of the building and let alone into his car, but somehow, he managed and you were curled up in the backseat, staring intently out the window, ears twitching at every sound. The drive to his precinct was long and quiet. You weren’t a talker but hopefully, once you had calmed down and got used to him you would open up a little. 

Once arriving at the precinct, Jungkook had you follow him to his office. Though you kept a good metre behind him. Sensing your unease, he paused outside his door and gave you a gentle smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything to you. I just have some paperwork to do and file so I can begin your care.” He opened the door and pointed to a cupboard, “There are some modified clothes for hybrids in there. Wear whatever makes you comfortable, I’ll be out here as you dress.” You gave him a suspicious look, “Promise I won’t try to peek.”

You sent him another sceptical look then hesitantly entered the office space. Jungkook waited outside the door for you, keeping to his word and not opening the door after you had closed it. Even when he was a little concerned about how long you were taking. He knew that if he did try and check on you, you would mistake his concern for more perverse intentions. 

Eventually, the handle clicked as it turned and the door opened. There you stood, the blanket still wrapped around you but only loosely. You were dressed in a light blue t-shirt and a pair of Khaki shorts, seemingly having decided to remain barefoot. But you weren’t looking at him. Your eyes remained downcast as you stepped aside to let him in. The way a hybrid slave would do for their master. It appeared he would need to undo your conditioning as a part of your care programme.

He stepped closer to you but made sure he didn’t get too close, then crouched slightly to look you in the eyes, “You can look at me. You can look at anyone. From this day forward you are your own master.”

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Even when he was filling out all the necessary forms and reports you hadn’t uttered a single word. And that’s all it took for Jungkook to figure out what was going on. You were either mute due to a medical reason or a selective mute from trauma, he leaned more towards that latter since you still made little noises here and there. He made a point of including his realisation in his report.

“I hope you don’t mind me assigning you a temporary name, kind of need something to call you while your with me.”

You frowned, eyebrows furrowing as you tilted your head to the side in confusion.

“For me to help you, you have to live with me for a while until I think you’re ready to identify your family and return you to them. I’m hoping by that point you’ll be talking and will tell me your real name. It’ll make everything so much easier.” He chuckled, “No pressure by the way. Take as long as you need… I think I’ll call you… hmm… let’s see,” He scratched his cheek on thought, “Goyang-i (Cat/Kitty). I’ll call you Goyang-i. Short and sweet… but not very imaginative.” A sigh left his lips, disappointed in himself.

With one final signature, the last of the paperwork was finished. He rose from his seat at his desk and gestured for you to follow him. Your eyes once again looked towards the floor as you shuffled after him. He gave the paperwork to the necessary person for them to be filed before leaving the building and getting into his car with you in tow.

He shot you a gentle smile when you climbed into the back seat, still a blanket burrito, “Once we get back to mine you’re free to explore my apartment while I run you a bath.”

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Jungkook sat and watched as the water filled the tub. He had dealt with hybrids who had been found in worse conditions but you must have gone through something horrific to choose to go mute. Jungkook knew and understood that selective mutism was rarely caused by abuse and trauma, it was caused by social anxiety more often than not, but the trauma you went through seemed to be the case for you. 

The soft padding of your feet was near silent, the running water almost drowning them out completely. He could just make them out as you explored, drifting close then away again. It was best to let you do this by yourself, at your own speed. Rehabilitation worked best when it was self lead with guidance from him, is what he found out through trial and error. The first step was to get you to relax in your new temporary home. With that thought in mind he reached out to the collection of bath bombs he was gifted by a childhood friend, Yoongi. He was older than Jungkook by four years and was a cat hybrid. Unfortunately, he had been abducted himself, along with his little sister when they had gone out playing one day. Jungkook had successfully found and rescued Yoongi in his first year on the force but as for the little sister…

Jungkook shook his head to clear it, it was no time to dwell on his failure. After a bit of thought on what bath bomb to use, he chose Big Blue. It was meant to be calming, with arame to help the metabolism, sea salt to exfoliate, lemon oil to clear the mind and lavender oil to act as an antiseptic.  Hopefully it will do the trick of relaxing you and cleaning your injuries from the struggle with your former owner. Once the bath was filled, he placed the bomb in, watching as it fizzled and the steam became scented. It kind of reminded him of Busan with it’s subtle ocean smell thanks to the arame and sea salt. 

The creaking of the bathroom door opening let him know you had finished your little adventure for now, the padding of your feet more audible on the tiles. 

“As you can probably tell, your bath is ready.” Your stared at him warily, still a blanket burrito, “Don’t worry,  I won’t be in the room as you… yeah. I’m going to get started on dinner. We’ll eat when you’re done.”

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Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, also referred to as C-PTSD.  Jungkook was pretty sure you might be suffering from that. Although he had no way of actually knowing unless you spoke but he wasn’t going to force you to. It was never good to force a non-verbal person to speak when they’re uncomfortable with it. However, you had been through events that could cause it: abduction, abuse and slavery/possible sex slavery. All these events most likely happening from your childhood onwards, though that was a guess on his part, he had no idea what age you had been abducted at. But for a large majority of cases, it's as a child. So suffering multiple traumas to the extent of becoming mute… Yeah, this was definitely a complex situation he was dealing with.

Standard PTSD treatment wouldn’t be of any use to you. You were going to need long term, intensive support from both him and your family once he figured out who you were. For the meantime, he’ll have to keep a close eye on you as C-PTSD normally leads to attempts on one’s own life.

Jungkook frowned as he pushed about a meatball in the pasta sauce. It’s not like he hasn’t dealt with C-PTSD before, a lot of his rescues suffered from it. He’s just never dealt with a survivor that couldn’t talk, which meant that monitoring your mental health was going to be difficult. The best thing was to observe then create a plan of action. Taking the meatballs off the heat, he took a quick glance at the pasta. Shit. It was nearly boiling over. So he took that off the heat too.

“Goyang-i! Dinner’s ready!” He called, then flinched. Raising his voice wasn’t a good idea if the sudden splashing coming from the bathroom was anything to go by.

Distressed yowls accompanied it. He had to stop himself from rushing to your aid, if he burst in on you while you’re undressed after he shouted… There’s no way you’d trust him. His worry for you disappeared with the sound of water rushing down the drain, meaning you had managed to sort yourself out. And thus he busied himself with plating dinner. He briefly wondered if you would be able to use cutlery but, given the environment he found you in, quickly realised you most likely couldn’t. 

He didn’t want to, however, for the time being he would have to treat you like a child to an extent. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Some rescues responded well to regression therapy because they get to experience the childhood that was stolen from them. It’s just there are those that can’t move past that stage or reject the idea of becoming an ‘adult’ all together which has happened to him a few times. With a sigh he put your portion in a bowl, then proceeded to cut it up into bite-sized pieces and store it in the fridge.

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Links: Mind.org.uk on C-PTSD

NHS on C-PTSD

A/N: If anyone has any links they think might be helpful that could be added, please send them my way. Also if you like my work please consider supporting me on Ko-Fi (no pressure though, I know there’s currently a global panademic and a lot of people aren’t able to work because of it)

This work of fiction is copyright © JungkookieNoona and protected under UK and international law. All rights reserved. Any unauthorised broadcasting, copying or reposting will constitute an infringement of copyright.

[ravens-shadows]

I guess I’m updating my rant on Tom Riddle to an actual essay so be patient with me

I don’t even remember what I wrote last time lol but I wanted to do my full analysis now that I’m not in rage if that makes sense.

Let’s go by parts.

First, his parents.

So we are given Merope Gaunt and Tom Riddle Sr., and they tell us this woman just straight up drugged her crush and then expected him to stick around and love her? Like, she literally raped him. I can’t fucking blame him for just going back home and abandoning her, because that would be so traumatising. And what angers me the most about this, is that Rowling makes it seem like he was the bad guy because he ‘abandoned’ them. But all my issues with Rowling will have to wait for another day.

When Tom is born, he is raised in the orphanage, and it’s stated early on that he ‘does not have emotions’, and is ‘naturally evil’. But the thing is, was he really incapable of love just because he was conceived under the influence of amortentia? If he really had no love inside of him, by basic logic he wouldn’t have any other emotions, because is utterly ridiculous even by the standards of a magical world. In other words: he was capable of loving as much as any other child, the thing is, he wasn’t given the opportunity to learn how to love, which is precisely the whole basis of his character!

Growing up, he was looked down as the weird, abnormal kid, bullied both by the other kids in the orphanage and the adults too. And what the fuck are you supposed to do in the situation? There was no one to really explain how wrong the actions of those around him were, and kids absorb everything like sponges. In his eyes, their behaviour was normal, and therefore the way to avoid getting hurt was hurting them even worse. And let’s entertain for a moment the idea that love is the only emotion he didn’t have, which yet again, is portrayed ridiculously! Love had nothing to do with the situation he lived in. He could still felt fear and anger, and even guilt, but we were never showed that because, oh no, he’s the villain and he’s absolutely evil.

Dumbledore walks in. This. Fucking. Bitch.

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, who could have ended the war before Harry even started Hogwarts but didn’t because a stupid prophecy said so.

Dumbledore takes a look at this kid, after hearing a very biased opinion on him, and in that second he decides that this child is too far gone and can’t help him. And, of course, Tom is not stupid and he can see that Dumbledore doesn’t like him and he obviously will avoid him from now on and in consequence won’t trust any other adult.

And here is the worst part: even in a world where his magic isn’t rare, no one cares. The adults give a fuck about him, they never offer help. They know about the abuse he’s suffered for years and are doing nothing about it, so he starts making himself stronger. If only he was stronger, no one would hurt him again.

Then we get to the worst fuck up Rowling did with this wonderful character, because why, why in friggin hell, would he be afraid of death?

It doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t add up to everything that’s been building up in the background. He is sixteen at this point, asking about horrocruxes so obviously he is already looking for ways of staying alive, but it doesn’t make any sense! Sure, if he was an adult it would make more sense, but in this point in time there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for this ridiculous thing to pop up.

It doesn’t make sense that he wants to kill his father because he abandoned him, he would be angry and bitter but Tom is smart and being sane at this point would know that there is absolutely no point in doing it. It doesn’t make sense that he is afraid of an abstract construct that he probably doesn’t understand completely like any other teenager. It doesn’t make sense that he has plans of becoming a dark Lord at all, because in this point in time, he is in the middle of the war with Grindelwald, a war that started before he was even born, and wouldn’t finish until he was nineteen years old in 1945. Nothing makes sense (but hey, what can I expect from J.K. Rowling).

Anyway, let’s get going. Let’s imagine this makes sense despite being absolute shit, and he makes his horrocruxes.

Is should be widely known that he was fucking insane at this point. An horrocrux splits the soul in two, so he would have just have half of his soul before making the second one and so on.

From here on, his actions make more sense because he is not human anymore by any means, and he is completely bonkers, let’s face it. Mass homicide was expected to happen.

Now let me tell you why he is one of the best characters despite the author butchering him. Important to note that most people look to Harry as a survivor of abuse and I’m a 100% on board with it, but let’s not pretend their situations are in the same level.

Proof 1: Tom is an abuse survivor too, and in many ways I think it was possible he would have been killed if it wasn’t for his magic, a magic he knew he had and used. In other circumstances, he would have ended up in a similar situation to Credence. His actions are seen to be evil, but the main point of his whole character and this is stated, is that he acts in anger, pain and fear. He is afraid. And in the correct way of telling his story, his fear is justified. He is afraid because despite being ‘special’, people still cast him out. His fear is not the fear of death that was sold to us, is the fear that no one will ever feel the slightest empathy for him, that no one will ever understand how it feels like. His pain comes from being treated like a monster, by not receiving any kindness in his whole life, because even after Hogwarts he had no friends, just followers fascinated by his natural power and talent.

Proof 2: Tom’s ‘inability to love’ is simply the fact that he does not know what is love. How could he? He’s never been shown what it is. And later on, mental disorders can be developed, specially in cases like this, when the child eventually starts rejecting any kind of affection (a condition that doesn’t have a cure). The way this whole thing comes down would have made an even better character, and he wouldn’t even be the villain. I wholeheartedly believe that if he had been written correctly, there would have been a real villain, Dumbledore (not to say he is evil, but you don’t have to be evil to be a villain), and Tom would have been more of an antagonist. This may have given the opportunity to have a special interaction between him and Harry when he realises this teenager isn’t that much different than him. And Harry could have found too someone who understands how it feels to be a freak. This two have the potential of a great relationship that doesn’t necessarily have to be on good terms, but they would have naturally developed mutual respect by still being able to dislike each other and it would have been more logical, more natural.

Proof 3: Tom is, in reality, a good person. He is a little bit of a sociopath, as a matter of fact, but he is often described as quite a genius (?) child. He is smart, brilliant, and clever. If we ignore the nonsense of dark lords and horrocruxes, Tom would have fought to change the magical world for all those who are outcasts like him. While the ministry has laws against magical creatures, Voldemort is constantly making alliances with them, not only because is convenient, but because he genuinely does not care what they are. His hatred for muggles is exaggerated but understandable, but if he truly believed in wizards supremacy, he would not trust nor ally himself with werewolves, giants, etc. Tom is so brilliant that, even when Dumbledore suspected him when young, he got away with the things he wanted because he was so careful as to not leave any evidence of his plans, until it was too late. Once having this redirected, he could have perfectly fit in politics or similar places. He is charming and can easily make people do his bidding. He would have used this to get justice. Maybe not in the most peaceful way, but his intentions wouldn’t have been bad.

Of course, much of what I’ve said can be biased but I’m not here to be totally fair, I’m here to proclaim my love and devotion for what Tom Riddle could have been.

There is so much to this single character that deserves his own series of books because there is a lot of wasted potential. Harry and Tom are such parallels and yet, their whole dinamic was simple and vague, with good points but had as much significance as it would have been with any other protagonist with a totally different backstory.

Tom Riddle is this traumatised yet strong character, even if he isn’t good, but... cartoonish villains I guess.

Thanks to coming to my ted talk... if you managed to go through the whole thing.

English is not my first language, sorry for all my fuck ups

[Shameless side note: I do have a fanfic where Tom is the chosen one, and it’s not very good because I suck at everything but if you wanna check it out is here]

[prof-peach]

I always wondered, when you started your lab, what was the first pokemon you worked with, and what was your first failure?

Ah, a really good question! We set up lab on the island about 5-6 years ago now, it began with one small greenhouse, and one small home space attached to the side, literally three small rooms making up the whole living space, and it was just me, no Professor Grey and no Pari to help out. The first patient Was actually a set of three different Pokémon rescued off of a poachers truck. One stantler, a pokemon that still helps out around the island, were now technically partners, he had a simple broken leg. A quick fix in relation to the other two. The second was an unusually angry golem, it’s whole body was riddled with strange calcium build up’s and it rubbed and hurt her to move, so we had to remove a lot of her ‘shell’ and wait for it to regrow. She was fine and released back into the wild after about half a year of recovery. Her shell was perfectly regrown when she was done with us, like it never happened. The third was some poor terrified poocheyena, not something I had a lot of practice with at the time, and she was just traumatised by the whole thing. The emotional toll was a lot to handle, so we had to take many months focusing on her mental health and well-being. She was eventually drawn to a young trainer who came in to prep for their first Pokémon, and we figured if she was happy with them, then it was meant to be. We gave the child special training before letting them go, but we get them back in from time to time to just check up on them both. They seem very happy now, and the poocheyena has gone on to evolve and have pups of her own since. A happy ending for all.

As for the first true failure, it was tough, I had no one else to rely on and it was my fault that we lost the Pokémon. It had been stormy all week, we sit in a zone that gets a lot of high winds and heavy rain and thunder. Up on our isolated mountain it can be almost impossible to not be blown over at times, it truly has become easier once we started planting trees to give cover and buffer from the winds. I got a call, a trainer was coming in with a Pokémon they found wild, it was aggressive and scared little weavile, found under a tree that had fallen. When it got to us, it had lost the use of its bottom half entirely, it was trying to drag itself around. Our resident rotom wasn’t there at this point, so I had no idea what they were trying to say, and so we went into surgery, and I tried to repair some of the damage but I’m not an ice type expert, especially at the start of the labs history. Giving a graduate such a serious surgery to perform alone, it would have taken a miracle to save them. They went into shock during surgery and we lost the Pokémon, it was just too much for the poor thing to handle. It happens a lot though, losing Pokémon I mean. That’s the curse of Professor status, you see the worst of the worst, and it makes you question why you do the job. I have lost count of the number of Pokémon I have lost, try all you like, you can’t save them all, and it never gets easier. We bury the bodies of trainer-less Pokémon on the island and plant a tree with them. It’s how our forest has become so lush and vibrant. As the bodies break down they feed the earth, so I guess it gives back at least something, but any walk on the island is lined with sorrow for the staff here. I don’t think it helps that my education in Pokémon began down the Ranger line, and I was exposed to a lot of sad cases, it’s where I got most of my team, Booker my Teddiursa in particular was the starting point to this. 

We all have come to terms with the fact that failure happens, but for every failure there’s a success. We’ve saved more than we’ve lost, so I guess it’s all worth doing, even if it can be sad. Because of this, we’ve adopted a ‘no one left behind’ policy with Pokémon, and do our best to save as many as possible. 

[thegreenfaery]

The excerpt no one asked for.

I have recently made reference to a future chapter of The Diplomat’s Daughter in (ever-so slightly snotty) open letter posted to a well-known fanfic website. Anyhoo, both Little Shadow and Diplomat’s Daughter are undergoing refurbishment, so to speak, and I figured I may as well stick self-standing excerpts on here.

That wretched, infernal beast of a woman. How dare she even consider herself to be in the same league as him, much less better?

He knew she was winding him up on purpose, but today was the day that he proved her wrong once and for all. No Shihōin would ever outmatch a Kuchiki. The very thought of it was inconceivable. Laughable, even.

So why, then, was he taking this… this contest so seriously? For one thing, no one could make Kuchiki Byakuya tick quite like Shihōin Yoruichi. And, for another, there was no way in hell that he was going to buy that damned demon-cat lunch, no matter what his Grandfather said. He was also especially looking forward to the moment that he could pummel her wicked face into the dust and make her eat the filthiest of Rukongai dirt.

He’d like to see her laugh at him then, choking on the mud and grime and Kami knows what else.

What was the point of all this? What had started as an occasional annoyance had turned into a nigh on weekly event. He had graciously allowed the small possibility that she was viewing this as an ongoing training exercise. After all, each session became increasingly more competitive; harder, faster, and with more challenging terrain. However, he’d thrown that platitude well away because this was just plain insulting.

They’d raced across water, down cliffs and mountainsides, through forests and thickets. They had even ventured underground, down into great twisting networks of caverns. And loathed as he was to admit it, those matches had been exhilarating.

But today she had taken him across vast expanses of unobstructive tundra, and although they were traversing notably farther than ever before, it was hardly up to her usual standards. That being said, he still had to console himself that she had had a considerable head start as the burning in his chest became ever more noticeable, the stitch in his side ever more present, and his breath ever more laboured.

He had no idea where she was headed, but he knew they were reaching the far-flung outer districts of the Rukon. He could tell by the stench.

Why couldn’t she just admit that she was wrong and he was right? Women simply couldn’t match the physical prowess of men. It was biological fact. The fairer sex was also the weaker one. It’s why there were so few female officers in the Gotei Thirteen. Squad Four was the sole exception, but they hardly counted; cleaners and caretakers might be helpful as the Eleventh’s personal healers but they were completely useless for combat. Not that he’d ever tell that Unohana-Taicho’s face. He wasn’t stupid. (She had traumatised him with a calligraphy brush when he was younger. Upon reflection, he may have been acting in what could be construed as a troublesome manner. Either way, he wasn’t keen to see what she could do with an actual blade.)

The point remained that if Shihōin really believed that women were equal she wouldn’t feel the need to pick this fight with a child. Which he was. Technically. He would, of course, highly object to being called a child in any other circumstance, but it was true that he was yet to reach his prime.

Unlike her. She was very much there, as she delighted in reminding him by shoving her excessively large breasts in his face on a regular basis. He was sure it would be incredibly enjoyable if it was any other woman. There had been a brief delusional period several years back when it had made his mouth go dry as thrill shot down his spine. These days, she just raised his hackles and made him feel ever so slightly sick.

Actually, there was nothing slight about it. She’d conditioned him to be like this. Just the other week, his Grandfather had resorted to rolling his eyes and sighing at him wearily after he’d visibly shuddered at the sight of Shiba Kūkaku’s unavoidable cleavage.

Maybe she’d broken him.

This was it now.

Fervent repulsion at the mere hint of a woman’s flesh for the rest of his life.

There would never be a Kuchiki heir and it was all her fau-.

“Oof!” Byakuya felt something crack as his shoulder collided with an object that was very much not the one he wanted to knock to the ground.

Somewhat dazed, he gathered his bearings to find himself winded and prone on the arid earth. To his side lay a split wicker basket, its lid flung asunder and its damp and tattered contents spilling out. It was another couple of seconds before he noticed that there was something beneath the strewn rags. Or, rather, someone.

At first he thought she was dead. Certainly, it appeared that a mild summer breeze would be enough to knock her down, never mind an adolescent Shinigami mid-Shunpo. It was just as well he had already been slowed down considerably by his fatigue. Anything more would have snapped the pitiful thing in half.

Pitiful. She really was, Byakuya thought. Pitiful and pathetic and in the way. As he came to his senses, the familiar itch of irritation began to prickle. This is exactly what he meant when he said women were weak.

Rising slowly, he yanked his shoulder back into place before rotating it and stretching his neck experimentally to ensure everything was as it should be. His jaw tensed as he saw the small cluster of women watching him warily, none of them daring enough to approach. None, save for a scowling portly woman of advanced age who was far more concerned with the state of the sheets than the fact that her employee had been knocked for six.

Grumbling, she snatched at the linens, bundling them into their broken carrier. She was just about to leave when, as an afterthought, she turned back to the girl, nudging her onto her back with a gnarled foot. Byakuya felt a twinge of what he would later recognise as remorse when he saw the bloodied mess of her face. The old woman snorted huffily through her nose, sneering down at her young employee. Muttering about a day’s wasted work, money lost, and mess on the sheets, she glanced up at Byakuya before spitting distastefully at his feet.

There was no respect for the office of Shinigami in this place.

There was little for fellow residents, either, judging by the way the woman chucked the most worn cloth over the girl’s head in a heap and left her for dead.

It was difficult to tell what had shocked him more: the impact of the collision or the callousness of the woman.

The incident no longer of any interest, the women at the riverside had returned to their work, and a stray group of three young boys resumed their boisterous game, chasing each other with sticks. One attempted to poke the girl’s body until Byakuya’s glare sent all three scarpering towards the distant huts downstream.

Surely she wasn’t really dead? And what kind of people would just leave one of their own lying there in their own blood?

Hesitant and unsure about what to do, Byakuya looked around to check that no one was watching before he too nudged her with his foot.

Nothing.

He tried to focus as he gently probed for her Reiatsu. There was a flicker of something that might be indicative of life, but it was so faint it was practically non-existent. Maybe they were right. It wasn’t like he could do anything. Really, letting her die would be a small mercy in a place like this.

He exhaled slowly as he stepped back, his mind made up.

At least it was, until he felt a sharp slap to the back of his head.

“Just where do you think you’re going?” Shihōin Yoruichi demanded his answer in a manner that allowed for no excuses.

His face contorted almost painfully as he struggled between guilt and obnoxious insolence. His gaze settled on the ground as he mumbled sulkily, “To look for you.”

“Well, congratulations! You found me!” she quipped snarkily. She stared pointedly at the body on the floor. “What’s this?”

Byakuya did not deign to answer.

She whipped the cloth from the girl’s head. “Oh for- Kuchiki!” She hissed at him. Yoruichi hurried to wipe the girl’s face of blood before she suffocated. “What were you doing?! Flying about with your eyes shut?” A quick once over and Yoruichi deemed it suitable to sit the girl up, supporting her as she returned her attention to her face.

Defensive, Byakuya tried, unconvincingly, to argue his case, “This is your fault! If you didn’t insist on these stupid, childish games, none of this would have happened!”

She shot her student a warning look that told him in no uncertain terms that she strongly disagreed with him, but they would finish that discussion later. In the meantime, “Get down here and help me!”

Having transferred the girl’s weight across to Byakuya, Yoruichi set about cleaning her face more thoroughly, the soft green glow of healing Kaidō emanating from her hands. He was pleasantly surprised to note that underneath the grime, the girl’s features were actually sort of… pretty.

Dainty.

Dainty was a good word. It suited her.

And to think they say that fine breeding couldn’t be found this far from the Seireitei.

Yoruichi cleared her throat as she smirked at him. “Careful, Kuchiki, that smile might just break your face.”

Sometimes he wondered if it could be found outside of his household in the Seireitei.

Still, he had to begrudgingly admit that Shihōin had her uses, especially as the smelling salts worked their magic and the girl’s eyes fluttered open. She sat there stunned for a few moments before suddenly retching. Yoruichi was there with the discarded cloth in hand to catch the mix of spittle, blood, and bile, and for once Byakuya was grateful for her presence. Dealing with other people’s bodily fluids was not in his repertoire.

After her retching coughs had faded, the girl resumed her wide eyed staring without really seeing. Her body limp, she fell back into Byakuya as she seemed to lose consciousness a second time, but Yoruichi was there coaxing a response, firstly with a firm but reassuring voice and then by tickling the girl’s foot.

Byakuya bit back a snigger as she bolted upright, but he caught her before she fell forwards. That much he could do.

Yoruichi continued with her gentle line of questioning without much luck. The girl had quickly perfected her thousand-yard stare and Byakuya was at a loss of what to do. His eyes darted back and forth between her and his mentor. “Is… Is she alright?”

Yoruichi raised her eyebrows at him. “She’s concussed, what did you expect?” Frowning, she considered their options. Shock was setting in and the girl was cold and clammy. Settling on an answer, she began fishing through her pockets for a small, dark blue vial. Tilting the girl’s head back, she placed three drops of a milky white liquid onto her tongue and waited for it to kick in.

Lifting the girl over her shoulder, Yoruichi turned back to Byakuya. “Think you can get to Sixty-One before me?”

Before he even had a chance to respond, she’d vanished, cackling, leaving him choking on a cloud of dust.

Erupting in a frustrated garble of consonants, he flung his arms up in the air and resumed his never-ending pursuit of the one they called Shunshin, the Flash Goddess.

[angstalottle]

The Next Generation

Part 2:

To say everyone was shocked would be the understatement of the century. They stared at Lance who was curling up in a defensive position under their gaze, he was clearly uncomfortable and judging from how thin he was in no position to fight back if anyone were to try anything. Hunk seemed to snap out of it first as he slowly kneeled down in front of Lance, raising his hands to show he meant no harm. “Ok, ok, it's a little hard for us to believe that your Thor's son but we still want to help you. My names Hunk.” Shiro let out a silent sigh of relief. He honestly had no idea what to do, for all they knew this was just a traumatised teenager claiming he was related to a superhero as a way to handle the ordeal he has clearly been through… but if it was true then God knows what they supposed to do then. Most of the team had grown up around Thor. He was the giant lovable uncle that gave you piggyback rides and snuck you desert when you were grounded. The thought of him having a missing child and not stopping everything to try and find him was just out of character for him, especially when they saw how he acted towards his daughter. She was the world to him and would have stopped at nothing to keep her safe… that was true for all of the Avengers and their children. If Lance was Thor's son then there was an even greater mystery to be solved beyond his identity. “You can't be very comfortable down there.” Hunk smiled softly offering out his hand “how about we get you out of here and sort this whole mess out?” Lance looked at Hunks hands like he was searching for a trick. Then slowly, painfully slowly he took the offered hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He was steady for less than a second before he began to fall again. Everyone moved to grab him But once again Keith got there first and caught him in a half dip with one hand rested on his lower back. “Thanks…” Lance mumbled not making eye contact, then again neither was Keith who had turned an interesting shade of red as he held Lance. “D-don't mention it.” “Achem” The two looked over to the source of the noise to see Pidge standing there with her hands on her hips “ I hate to break whatever the hell this is up, but we’re still in enemy territory with a civilian in need of medical attention. So how about you leave your flirting till we get back on the jet, huh Keith?” It seemed impossible a moment ago for Keith to blush any darker, but now he was a deep red opening and closing his mouth like a surprised fish. Hunk chuckled while Shiro tried to hide his own amusement behind his hand, but an amused grin was still visible none the less. “S-shut up! I'm just trying to help” Keith squeaked. “Yeah, we know buddy” Hunk replied in a teasing tone as he easily scooped lance up into his arms. Considering his earlier panic it was surprising to see how he relaxed into Hunks arms, his head rested against his shoulder letting out a long tired sigh. “Don't worry. We’ll get you home.” Hunk whispered earning him a small nod as Lance’s eyes slid shut and he fell asleep.

They all walked in silence after that. Too many thoughts and questions to even begin to discuss, after all, where could they start? It wasn't until Lance was lying in the medical cot of the jet did anyone break the silence. “We should call ahead… see if anyone can get ahold of Thor I'm sure he could… answer some of our questions.” Shiro was choosing his words carefully. The last thing they needed was for Lance to hear the wrong thing and start panicking again, just because it seemed like he trusted them didn't mean they should take that as a fact. Right now he was like an unknown animal, he could be friendly and gentle for all they knew, but the same could be said for if he would pose a threat to them. As the leader, Shiro had to keep his team safe no matter what, even if that did mean potentially putting their mission in danger. “I’ll call dad, he keeps tabs on all the Avengers when they're not on the compound.” Pidge shrugged as she set up the autopilot and began the call. “Wait, for all the Avengers? Even mom?” Keith asked raising his eyebrow. “How the hell is he managing that?” Pidge smirked up at him “We Starks have out ways.” “That we do kid” Tony replied as his holoform took up the windshield “what do I owe the honour, it's rare for you to call unless someone's on death's door and considering everyone's standing in gonna assume you just missed your dear old dad.” Pidge stuck out her tongue “you wish old man. I actually called because erm Shiro has something to tell you.” Shiro shot her a glare. Sure he may be the leader but it didn't mean he always wanted to be the one to drop the news bombs. Last time he did that he had to tell his dad that Hydra was still out there… it wasn't a pleasant experience. “Shiro?” Tony asked raising an eyebrow his demeanour suddenly serious. Everyone knew that when Shiro had something to say no matter who you are you should listen. Shiro licked his lips, his throat suddenly dry “did… did Thor ever mention to you having a son?” Confusion flickered across Tony’s face “no I don't think so. What's this about?” We found a kid, about 17 I think, in a cryo-pod.” Shiro pretended not to see the way Tony flinched “he's not a soldier but he did claim to be Thor's son.” Tony nodded slowly “right… well, I’ll contact Thor you kids just get back here as soon as possible. I don't know who you have with you but something tells me Thor isn't going to keep quiet about a missing kid.” Shiro nodded “right, see you soon.” With that, the transmission was shut off. No witty comment or sarcastic joke, not this time. This situation was just too far beyond funny for any of that. “ETA twenty minutes,” Pidge said softly as she turned her attention back to the console mindlessly fiddle and keep her hands busy. “Someone should probably check on Lance” Hunk muttered as he chewed on his lip nervously. Shiro was about to ask Hunk to do it since he had a way with people when Keith up and left. No word from him, he just got up and went into the medical area. “Wow, he has it bad” Pidge snorted. “I feel like we should warn Lance that Keith doesn't do normal human emotions” Hunk sniggered. “Nah, I wanna see how this plays out. It going to be hilarious no matter what.”

Keith paced nervously in front of Lance’s bed for a good ten minutes. The other boy was still asleep so there really wasn't any reason to be hovering like the way he was but… well dammit, he was pretty and Keith didn't really know what to do with all the gay thoughts that filled his head. It sure didn't help that Lance was only wearing tight pants and a low cut shirt letting Keith’s eyes train down his neck almost to his stomach. Of course, he would catch himself now and again and shake his head and whispering “don't be a creep” but it seemed like his eyes didn't want to obey and just stared at the peaceful face of the beautiful boy. Not even the excessive scars could pull his attention away for too long. They really were awful and it made bile rise in Keith’s throat to think what could have caused them… or more likely who and why. Lance mumbled in his sleep and turning his face away from Keith, almost like he knew he was being watched and made an unconscious decision to put a stop to it. Keith caught sight of another scar, this one at the back of his neck that appeared to almost be a brand mark. It looked like a weird dog head holding a ring in his mouth. Compared to the other scars it looked old. Really old. Like Lance must have been a child when it was done to him old. Keith gently brushed a finger across the mark before he could stop himself. “We’re here,” Shiro said as he pulled back the curtain that separates the two of them from everyone else. Keith froze staring around to room “Not. One. Word.” He hissed as he stepped away from Lance and allowed Shiro to set up the bed to be wheeled out. “Wouldn't dream of it.” he chuckled as he took the lead towards the exit. Unsurprisingly the Avengers were waiting for them, including Thor and his daughter Allura. “Thor I'm glad you're here we need you to tell us if you know Lance.” No sooner had the words left his mouth did Allura run forwards towards the bed. She pulled Lance roughly into the air and held him by the throat. “Allura! What are you doing?!” Shiro yelled taking a step forwards only for Steve to hold up a hand to stop him. “Tell them what you told us, Thor.” “That boy is not what he seems, he is a lier and a shapeshifter just like his father.” Thor normally seems so kind-hearted but right now there was nothing but cold pain in his eyes. “F-father please” Lance gasped out clawing at Allura’s hand “Sister, I swear I'm not the monster you think I am.” Allura didn't answer him instead she looked away to avoid his tear-filled gaze. “He was left on my doorstep as a babe, I cared for him as my son unknowing the true creature I brought into my home and family. When I discovered the truth I marked him as the monster he was and locked him away.” Keith’s eyes darted to the brand on the back of Lance’s neck. Did Thor really do that? “What could he be that justifies treating a kid like this?!” Shiro yelled grabbing Steve’s arm and pushing it away. “The child before you is not human nor is he truly Asgardian. He is Fenrir the one is destined to bring about the end of all.” Thor answered coldly. “He is the son of Loki.”

[vts-ship-and-let-ship]

Hello, all :) I'm very curious about something, if it's okay to ask. In a recent reblog (about IHPAZ) Ally said "This is also very likely given the fact that the parents wanted to institutionalize their child. In which case they’d come out with medical trauma." Does anyone happen to know if institutionalisation is often traumatic? I was forcibly institutionalised as a kid, and feel that I am genuinely traumatised from it. But I didn't know that this might be an actual *thing* until I saw this

Other people have covered a lot better than I have but I can boil it down to, yes!

Forced institutionalization isn’t a happy pleasant experience, since a lot of them tend to be sour and already cause trauma.

In this case, a friend of mine willingly went to a hospital, and came out with it, because of improper care.

It was a three day hold due to a Suicide attempt.

But no, it can be very extremely traumatizing. If a facility allows for someone else to forcibly check you in for mental health issues, then they’re already not the best.

See, being forced to recover isn’t something that works. I see horror stories about people coming out of their parents sending them, because staff is cruel or doesn’t actually care.

An easy way to describe it is like forcing someone to get medication by shoving it down your throat.

I’m not discrediting people who don’t come out with trauma or went somewhere nice, but usually those people are willing to get better and appreciate the help.

The idea of forced institutions are kinda as our previous anon put it, a place to put “menaces”.

Which is a cruel idea because what’s a menace? Sure it’s someone that comes to harm. But what constitutes as that?

In short, yeah, medical trauma from being forced into a mental health institution/facility is a thing. Various people who even ended up being forced into rehab have also commented on how it negatively impacted people.

Because you’re not given a choice, and a lot of these places will strip you of your rights- I’m speaking as a North American with experience in those facilities- and likely treat you like you’re less.

To quote my friend, who again, went willingly because he wanted mental health help, “I never felt more like a crazy person than when I was in there”.

A lot of the time, personal comfort isn’t what they’re going for, and also I believe these facilities have a history of having high abuse/sexual abuse rates due to the fact they have patients who are in vulnerable states.

Like, “bad asylums” aren’t a myth, they’re quite prominent. Compassion in that field can be bordering on low sometimes.

Or to quote a doctor I was seeing, “we can’t institutionalize you because you’re not bad enough”. They have a litmus test of who is allowed to go, and keep in mind, when they keep someone there, it’s because, “they can’t reintegrate into normal society”.

You have people with Schizophrenia being locked away because anti-psychotics are a very low form of help, and most of the time they try and treat them through the episode- or as per my uncle, think they’re better and stop taking the medication.

Which isn’t great, but also there’s no proper way that they follow through. Once you’re finally out, they don’t keep up.

No anon, you’re specifically valid because this isn’t a one-off thing. A good chunk of places have actually denied parents and family from committing someone in recent years, because patients were leaving with trauma.

I believe @wetwareproblem has addressed it before on their blog. (Sorry for the tag!!)

On the more personalized side of things, when I saw this ask I frowned and really felt for you. I don’t know what it’s like, but as a kid that must have been terrible, and I hope that you’re in a better place now, with people you trust not to send you back.

I don’t know how bad your mental health was, but I can safely say, you never deserved to be forced, and I wish the best to you now. Please stay safe Nonny. You’re a person, and what happened when you were younger wasn’t okay.

- Dragon, Co-Written by Ally

[obaewankenope]

Absconding with Harry verse Part 4: Bake-Offs and Bees

Here on AO3!

Summary:

“Children are the future, after all. Need the future alive and well to do—well—evil or good, depending on what department you are.”

“Exactly,” Crowley nods. “So I had to step in. Protect a potential investment.”

Fic below the cut!

.

The meeting of Harry and Aziraphale, from Crowley’s point of view, goes a little like this:

“Hello, uh, Harry,” Aziraphale says, nervously, standing near the sofa Crowley had miracled into existence—replacing the original that came with the building and was sort of falling apart at the seams. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Hello,” Harry replies, just as nervously, sitting on the sofa with a glass of mixed berries fruit juice that is obviously nice considering how it’s close to empty. “Do you live with Mister Crowley?”

“I—uh—well—not—not really, no,” the angel replies, stuttering and spluttering over his words—tripping over his tongue due to nerves—and Crowley eyes the angel as a slight blush rises on those pale cheeks. “But—well, I suppose that—that since he stole you and you’re here, then—well—I suppose he does now?”

Crowley was too surprised at the questioning—hopeful—glance Aziraphale threw him to actually answer at the time, but Harry had resolved that problem by nodding and saying: “that makes sense” and that had been the end of it.

Sort of.

“So, angel,” Crowley says, leaning on the back of the sofa with a glass of wine in his hand. The miracled-TV is playing some sort of streaming show—Crowley had made sure it had every channel and streaming service available on it, ensuring that it was free and the charges would end up on some annoying politician’s bill instead—provides a nice background noise that elicits a sort of homely feel to the room.

Aziraphale has, as usual, a customary mug of hot chocolate in his hands as he sits rather stiffly on the other side of the sofa. The angel seems to be quite nervous judging by the way his fingers are playing with the wings of the mug and Crowley finds the sight quite fascinating.

“You haven’t explained to me how you came to steal a child, Crowley,” Aziraphale says, cutting off whatever Crowley was about to say. “I really would like to understand what I’m now complicit in.”

Crowley tilts his head, giving the angel a Knowing Look before he answers. “Not much to explain really,” he begins, “I was heading back from another jaunt down in Surrey—priest who was a little too close to quitting when he’d bring a good couple souls to hell with his hateful language—and decided to pass by the house of the kid who speaks Parseltongue. You know I don’t get to talk to that many who know it too—” he looks at Aziraphale who nods understandingly “—and well, I peeked through the kitchen window from the garden and saw his aunt hitting him with a frying pan. So I thought, ‘that’s not on that’ and intervened. You don’t hit kids. I don’t like that. So yeah. Didn’t think it was a good idea to leave him there either, so now he’s here. That about cover it?”

“Oh, oh my,” Aziraphale breathes, shocked. He takes an automatic sip of his hot chocolate—which Crowley notices is cooling and he flicks his hand to heat it up again—as he thinks. “I understand why you took him then. Hitting a child. Absolutely ghastly.”

“Mhhmm,” Crowley agrees. “No point hitting a kid unless you’re a nasty piece of work. Even demons have limits, you know?”

“Oh yes,” Aziraphale plays along—falling into the usual routine they have over jointly-ignoring-Crowley’s-bouts-of-not-very-demony-demoning-behaviour. “Children are the future, after all. Need the future alive and well to do—well—evil or good, depending on what department you are.”

“Exactly,” Crowley nods. “So I had to step in. Protect a potential investment.”

“Of course.”

Crowley ignores the mocking humour in Aziraphale’s voice, choosing instead to be a Mature Demon and take a large mouthful of his wine rather than responding to the angel with a scowl. The silence falls between them and both angel and demon turn their attention mostly to the TV, noting the show is The Great British Bake-Off[1].

“I suppose we will have to live together,” Aziraphale says a little later on like it’s the most reasonable thing to say in between the episodes when it most certainly isn’t.

“What?” Crowley splutters, after nearly choking on his wine—it was far too good a vintage to actually choke on it so Crowley didn’t, but it was a near thing—giving the angel a genuinely surprised look. “Angel, what?”

“Well,” Aziraphale says, taking a small sip of his hot chocolate—he’s miracled it hot again so many times it might as well be called hot hot chocolate—before continuing, calm and reasonable. “It seems like the reasonable thing to do. Young Harry is going to need guidance from above and below—especially since he lives here. I can’t very well have you live here with him alone; there would be talk[2].”

“Angel,” Crowley growls and Aziraphale shushes him.

“Quiet Crowley! Harry is asleep in the next room! No raising your voice because you’re annoyed with me.” Aziraphale gives him a sharp look that, unfortunately for Crowley, works wonderfully in making him calm down so he doesn’t disturb Harry[3].

“I can’t live here, angel! It’s dangeroussss!” Crowley hisses, and he scowls more. Stupid lisp. “We’re not meant to be seen together; what if someone from our respective offices comes and checks up on us?”

And here Crowley is, actually arguing against something he honestly wants because he’s a paranoid, scaredy snake. Typical.

“We’ll have warning, we always do,” Aziraphale reasons and Crowley scoffs.

“You forget what happened in thirteen-twenty-nine then did you?” he asks, mockingly. Aziraphale scowls at him now. “Thought not. It’s too dangerous angel.”

“But,” Aziraphale says, softly, “Harry wants it.”

Crowley sighs. That—that is a very low blow from the angel. He’d think that Aziraphale Knows about him but Crowley has been ever so very careful to cultivate his image and he maintains it ruthlessly. Yes, okay, not to the point of ignoring children or people who are hurt, but he doesn’t actively endanger the illusion of a demon with No Memory Of Before like this.

Usually.

“You really are a bastard, angel,” he says, slumping down in the sofa with a defeated expression. “That was a low blow, even for you.”

Aziraphale—the smug bastard—just smiles at him. “It really was, wasn’t it?” he says, pleased because Crowley has agreed and the angel knows it.

“You are so lucky I like you,” Crowley mutters, flicking his hand at the TV. Aziraphale’s little gasp of complaint is ignored as The Great British Bake-Off becomes one of the worst horror movies ever created: The Bee movie[4].

“I’m still not sorry,” Aziraphale admits, an hour later, head tucked into Crowley’s side where he’d shoved it after ten minutes of the film.

Crowley just smiles, safe to do so since the angel can’t see it where he’s burrowed in the demon’s side. “Neither am I,” he replies.

This is their relationship in a nutshell. It’s one that Harry will appreciate more and more every day, especially the day he turns eleven and receives a letter via owl that declares him a wizard and to attend a magical school in Scotland. He does not, however, appreciate the hissing-cursing from Crowley when he reads the name of the headmaster for the school. Aziraphale is none-too-pleased either, though he does avoid cursing in front of Harry—the angel chooses instead to accidentally turn Harry’s waffles into pancakes cut in the shape of a wizard’s hat with obnoxiously brightly coloured stars and moons on it. Aziraphale refuses to explain what that is about and Harry wisely doesn’t push the issue.

That is how life for Harry James Potter—absconded by a demon from Number Four Privet Drive at the age of nine—is already wonderous before he even hears of Hogwarts.

His friends will never believe him when he tells them he has an angel and a demon for uncles. He can’t wait.

[1] Crowley tried to claim credit for the show when reports of wannabe bakers and cake makers attacking each other over their icing technique reached hell, but the positive aspects of the show resulted in him admitting that he was only responsible for the idea of the show not the execution. That he laid at Aziraphale’s feet. It’s one of the achievements that heaven considers Good since it allowed quite a significant number of souls entry to heaven because of altruistic actions by said souls through cupcakes and other baked goods.

[2] The type of talk Aziraphale means is not, as you would expect, talk from heaven or hell. It is, in fact, more talk from his neighbours. They have long assumed Aziraphale to be a bachelor with no life except his books and the sudden presence of a child in his living space above the shop would induce them to Question Him. In Aziraphale’s mind this is far worse than heaven asking after a child living with him. At least heaven can be distracted with a memo or two of miracles; Aziraphale’s neighbours aren’t quite that easy to tame.

[3] Although he could easily miracle it so that Harry will not wake up no matter how loud they are, the fact that Harry is magical means that Crowley isn’t entirely certain it would work. Not with the instinctive magic magical children often perform. Crowley suspects that an absence of noise and other signs of life outside the confines of wherever Harry is sleeping would be anxiety-inducing—thus his magic would naturally seek to reduce the anxiety by countering whatever miracle Crowley performed to keep the child from being disturbed by his and Aziraphale’s antics. In short, he can’t make Harry not hear them because then Harry will want to hear them and that will cause Problems later on.

[4] The Bee movie isn’t, technically, a horror film. It’s impossible for it to be one on its own merit. However. The fact that the internet has collectively decided to be traumatised by a film wherein a woman falls in love with a bee has produced a lot—and I say a lot, reader—of material that is just too disturbing to consider. Crowley loves the entire chaos the film has created and took even greater pleasure than he would otherwise have done in exposing Aziraphale to it all by switching out one of his beloved books with a print out of every comment, piece of art, and reddit page relating to the film. The angel still twitches whenever he sees a book about bees.