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potatomountain · 2 months ago

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CIY CH 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

📍Pairing: detective ateez ot8 x detective afab reader 📍Summary: "Breaking Point" 📍WC: 3.3k 📍AU: detective/mafia 📍Genre: action, dark romance, poly romance 📍Beta readers (and sole motivation): @yourfatherlucifer, @flurrys-creativity , @bunnliix, @adelusionforyourthoughts and occasionally @daemour 📍dividers by @cafekitsune banner made by me! ageless blocks will be blocked immediately if you interact with this post 📍AN: I HIGHLY recommend skipping this chapter if any of the following warnings below the cut are triggering or you are just not in a good headspace to read about a traumatizing event that befalls reader. It is not described in detail, but is described as having happened off screen. The trauma is not caused by any of the main cast, or idol representing character (i in fact refused to give him a name) masterlist | Previous | Next

📍Warning(s): extremely dark and triggering themes such as: mentions of r@pe, torture, graphic depiction of murder of minor character. Graphic details such as blood, stabbing, and talk of explosives. Kidnapping, held hostage, a somewhat cliche mafia scene with dark twists because trauma.

The bright lights woke the two men from their awkward slumber, Hongjoong being the first to lift his head despite a swollen eye. For three days of torture, the two of them were still pretty much in tact. It left Hongjoong feeling a bit… disappointed.

This was the feared Blood Hounds? The red chains around their necks were a give away, and with five of them it shouldn’t be too hard to cause some damage. So why were they mostly just bruises and busted skin from punches? The brass knuckles hurt something fierce, but aside from a dislocated shoulder all his bones were intact. He assumed it was the same for Seonghwa.

Twenty-four hour observation, no food or water but sleep was provided surprisingly. Probably to keep them coherent enough for the questioning.

And that was just as dull. Despite hunting them down, they knew so little. Didn’t even notice their connection to the law, or their full place in the Black Pirates. That was probably due to the Red Wolf that did the questioning. The man sat behind the lights, late thirties, early forties, and had his jacket open to expose his bare chest and the red wolf on his side. He even flaunted it often, making Hongjoong assume this man’s ego was bigger than the abandoned building they were in.

That was fine by him, it made it easier to play the game. “Let’s start from the beginning shall we? The black pirates are responsible for the hit on our territory a few weeks ago, correct?” The way the man emphasized ‘our’ just showed his pride over this situation. If Hongjoong had to guess, he was given this interrogation role as a test, most likely an ass kisser that worked his way up the ranks. A true coward under it all.

It made it hard not to mock him. “Not sure what you mean, please elaborate.” He licked some of the blood off his lip, tilting his head back and knocking it against Seonghwa to wake him up a bit more. The bright lights around them were annoying, but only really kept them awake now that they were. The man stood up and began to circle them, a little ticked off it seems with how harshly he glared. Hongjoong just yawned, seeming unaffected. Bored even. Because he was.

That just pissed off the wolf even more, throwing one of the lights to the ground in a rage as it broke and sparked out. “Three days we’ve been at this! How much longer are you going to keep playing this game?!” He shouted out, stomping over to Seonghwa and out of Hongjoong’s sight and gripping his hair.

Seonghwa spit in the man’s face. “As long as we want. Really, do you think you’re terrifying?” While he had a lot of bravado in his tone, Hongjoong could sense the underlying fear there. He knew his partner.

It had been three days and they weren’t sure if they had been out longer than a day. They had gone through scenarios like this dozens of times in case they were captured. Wooyoung could use his connection to the Pink Boas and as a freelancer to get out of his ties to the Pirates, something his mother had said she would always help with, but if it was any other member but Yeosang they had a plan.

Three days. That was the minimum needed for rescue. It gave Yeosang plenty of time to track their whereabouts, and the others to mobilize an extraction. It would have begun the moment there was an attack on the safe house. But Hongjoong knew it wasn’t for them that his partner was scared for, but he was sick with worry over you. Had you made it out? Did you go to Yeosang or did you run? What if you fought? Even Hongjoong couldn’t deny that was an option, knowing how feisty you could be. You weren’t the type to run anyways, but for once Hongjoong wished you were.

Sure their torture was pretty minimal but for you? A random woman in a Pirate safe house? Oh they wouldn’t attempt to question you, he knew that. He tried not to think about it though, tried not to let the unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach bother him. The implications that they were going easy on the torture on purpose and that it might have something to do with you. The real torture was not knowing if you were safe. The hits, starvation and dehydration were nothing. The soreness of his muscles he thought would be a nice excuse to beg you for a massage. Still, none of that compared to how he was sure Seonghwa felt.

He had watched over you since day one, first like a protective mother to see what damage you would do to his nest, then you were part of it. They wanted to make it official, maybe have you spend a few nights in their bed after all this was over.

So he knew Seonghwa didn’t care about the punch the man threw, jolting to the side as it connected with his jaw. He spit out blood onto the concrete just in Hongjoong’s view, but he kept his face stone cold. He never liked when Hwa’s pretty face got hurt.

The smug look on the man’s face was just as disgusting. “Then maybe a little bit more?” He nodded to two of the men and they left the room. There was a door opening somewhere, loud bass heavy music filtering out that hummed through the concrete under their feet. “Of what? Boredom?” Hongjoong through out with a bout of dry laughter. “I’ve had more intense fucks than this. Not even a whip or paddle or a knife? Booooring.” “Don’t give him any ideas, love, he’s already struggling with his creativity.” Seonghwa added on, finally lifting his head. “I think he might make it in a kindergarten painting class now.”

In retaliation he grabbed Hwa by the hair again, yanking him up. Hongjoong was proud of the sinful moan Seonghwa let out, resulting in their ‘interrogator’ dropping his head and stepping back with a groan of disgust. “Seriously? Are you two getting off on this?” “Hardly. It’s not rough enough.” Seonghwa hummed out, licking his lips as he turned as if to look at Hongjoong. “You do it so much better baby.” “Ugh, gross.”

Hongjoong had took a risk that the red wolves wouldn’t use them against each other sexually, too homophobic to do any touching or raping of sorts. He was glad that the risk was paying off.

Off in the distance they could hear the door and music again, and that feeling of dread returned.

The wolf smirked, motioning to one of the men and pointing to the lights. Hongjoong watched with a frown as the hound turned two of their lights to the door, shining on the dark hallway just outside. A spotlight for a show.

“What? Got some fancy torture machine you’re going to bring out? Really, it’s like you want to get us off.” Despite that growing pit in his stomach, Hongjoong forced the taunt out. He wanted to wipe that disgusting smug smirk off his face the second the spotlight illuminated up the three people in the doorway.

Seonghwa’s pained gasp hurt as much as the sight of you. “Angel?” Hongjoong steeled his expression, taking in the sight of you to fuel the growing rage and bloodthirst that was building. Every cute, every drop of blood, every bruise, he would pay them back tenfold. None of that mattered compared to the mental damage they no doubt did on you, as you hadn’t even reacted to Seonghwa calling out for you. Body limp as you were dragged further into “Not so cocky now?” The wolf hummed out, making his way over to you and with each step Seonghwa and he began to thrash in their chains. “Oh you really don’t want me near her? Where do you think I am when I’m not here with you?” He slid up behind you, hand running over your exposed stomach and down.

The way you tensed and began to shake wasn’t lost on the two men, both unable to look away from the one part of your naked body they had tried so hard to ignore. When the disgusting man cupped your bloody privates, Hongjoong let out a yell, thrashing even more against the chains. They had been loosening them slowly, but now it hadn’t been fast enough.

Not when the blindfold was removed from your eyes and the dead look in them brought tears burning behind their eyelids. Not when you wouldn’t look at them, you didn’t even seem mentally there.

“Can’t say her pussy was so good that I’d fight like this for it. Maybe her mouth if she hadn’t tried to bite off my dick. Ass far too tight…” He grabbed your mouth as he talked, smearing some of the dried blood from your lips and then thrust his hips against your back. Hongjoong knew he was taunting, just rubbing in the damage he had done to you, and it was working.

Seonghwa tried calling out for you again, desperation and pain in his tone that twisted Hongjoong’s heart further. Once more you didn’t react. “You son of a bitch let her go.” He threatened lowly, throttling hard enough the studs that kept the chair in place were beginning to break. For the briefest moments they froze, the brandishing of the knife against your throat giving them pause. You didn’t even flinch, but you trembled. The fear radiating off of you was palpable. What the fuck had he done to get you like this?

Only the beating of their hearts told them time was still passing, even their breath halted, the smug look on the wolf’s face growing by the second. He opened his mouth to taunt, but all hell broke loose before he got a word out.

The next few moments rushed by quickly, all starting with Seonghwa finally picking the chain and the metal falling loosely around them. Either because he finally got it loose, or because of who they saw just in the shadows of the bright doorway. Before the wolf had time to react, the knife was pulled out of his hand and tossed to Hongjoong who caught it easily, just as a gun was thrown to Seonghwa, thanks to Jongho rushing into the room and dislodging you from the man.

Finally, just in time, the others were here. That bit of relief had the other two men moving with confidence, fueled by their rage of what was done to you.

You fell limply against Jongho’s chest as he kicked the man right into one of the spotlights. He tripped over it, both crashing to the ground, which Hongjoong took as his opportunity to pounce on the man.

He spared no mercy as he first slit the man’s throat, just a bit shallow so he would suffer, then jabbed the knife into him over and over before he could bleed out. He kept eye contact, wanting his fury known. Even long after the body was limp beneath him he kept going, Seonghwa having effectively eliminated the blood hounds with a precise bullet to each of their skulls, leaving no enemy alive.

Only his rage. One stab for each mark on you. Each bruise. Each cut. For the number of times this disgusting being had probably violated you. For the dead look in your eyes, the way you trembled.

It was all Hongjoong could do, screaming at the dead man as if it could somehow take away the pain he inflicted on you. Seonghwa had to walk over and peel Hongjoong off of the dead body, grabbing his wrist to get him to drop the knife. They shared a look, Seonghwa shaking his head and then nudging his chin in your direction. He followed, tensing up at the sight of you huddled against Jongho’s chest, holding onto his shirt with such a death grip.

Hongjoong knew you both still didn’t trust or like each other, so it shocked him out of his rage, the pain boiling to the surface once more. Jongho was leaning against the wall, holding you to him with both arms around your back. You were laying your cheek against his shoulder, breathing heavily and uneven but seemingly dazed. Tears had started falling down your cheeks, and Jongho looked as pained as Hongjoong was feeling. “We need to get her out of here Joongie.” Seonghwa gently prompted, rubbing his lover’s back. Despite how distraught he had been moments ago, Seonghwa sounded much more clear headed now. It helped ground Hongjoong, dropping the knife. “Where… where are the others?” Hongjoong managed to get out, still panting from the excursion of, well, murdering someone brutally. Jongho didn’t even look up from you, gaze glued to your face, following each tear that fell down your cheek. “Yunho is out front with the van, Mingi is setting up the explosives on the ground floor, San and I split up and he checked the floor below us-” He stopped as he heard music, the base vibrating through the concrete, and then it stopped. “That music was louder on the first floor, we took out the guards there when it was vibrating the place…” He trailed off when they heard screams. San’s screams.

They were screams of anguish. The three of them shared a silent look of understanding before glancing at you. He must have found the room you were kept in, aware the building was currently clear of enemies if he had entered the room to begin with. Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa with a pleading look. “He’ll need you, I won’t be calm enough.” “And I would be?” He hissed out, motioning to you just to have you flinch. It was both a good and bad sign. Good that you were still, to some extent aware of your surroundings… but that meant you were probably aware of what they just did. “Angel…” He sighed, relenting as he pocketed the gun and moved around slowly so as not to spook you. “Get her to the car, and then let's blow this place up.”

Seonghwa left then, hurrying down the hall and leaving behind silence. Hongjoong was afraid to reach for you at first, freezing up when his bloody hand got close. You stared at the blood there, seemingly more present, then looked up at him. He gave the softest most gentle smile he could muster at the moment. “Hey firecracker. You're safe now.”

Your gaze shifted to the dead body behind him, then back to him questionly. “Yes, I killed him. He hurt you, he didn't deserve to live another second. Now… do you want to go home with us? We can clean you up and feed you. Does that sound nice?”

The both of them waited for some answer from you, and it came in the form of wrapping your arms around Jongho's neck. The man held on tighter, looking up at his leader for answers on what to do.

Hongjoong motioned at the door. “Carry her out, she's probably in a lot of pain so be gentle. You have Yeosang on the line?” He pointed to his ear where the piece was. At Jongho's nod while he slowly picked you up, Hongjoong grabbed it and stuck It in his ear.

“How bad is it?” Yeosang immediately spoke into the piece and Hongjoong could hear a nervous clicking on the other side. “When I saw them grab her the other day I tried to get Yunho there I-”

“Yeosang. This isn't your fault.” Hongjoong chided as he followed Jongho out of the room, keeping an eye out but he knew Seonghwa would have dealt with any strangers on his way. “She's alive, but I need you to warn the others. Where is Wooyoung?”

“He's with Minjae at the base. He was going to bring them in as backup if needed. He won't… he won't handle it Captain.”

“I know. So you're going to tell him to check the other locations and safe houses we have with Minjae and the others and that I want a full report tonight. We need to…” his gaze flickered back to you, still trembling in Jongho's arms and hiding your face against his shoulder. Jongho himself looked as pained as Hongjoong felt, but he was whispering gentle words to you so low that not even Hongjoong could make them out. “We're going to give her time to rest before Wooyoung sees her.”

“Understood? What else?” There was a firmness to Yeosang's tone that took Hongjoong by surprise, but he pushed on.

“Just warn Mingi and Yunho not to panic. Hwa is with San. If Yunho has a blanket or something to cover her, he needs to have it ready. Contact Wooyoung’s mother for a female doctor, Firecracker might trust-”

Hongjoong broke off when he heard someone else on the connection. Seonghwa. “Joong… there are pictures of what he did to her. The bed is soaked in blood and the chains…”

“What the fuck do you mean?” Mingi's voice suddenly cut in, broadcasting on all channels. “What the fuck did they do to our Princess?!”

“Easy Mingi. She needs us calm right now okay? Get this building ready to blow.” Hongjoong attempted to pacify him as the ascended the stairs. The skipped the floor below, hitting the ground floor and headed for the entrance. Mingi met them first and Hongjoong quickly moved to get in the way.

He hated the way his eyes went big and glassy, the color draining from his face as he stared at you. When Mingi tried to reach out though, Jongho stepped back, shaking his head. “She just stopped shaking. Don't. No more surprises for her.”

Hongjoong was shocked by the defensiveness of Jongho’s tone, so was Mingi, both staring at him like the many just grew a second head.

Jongho dipped his head and just rushed off for the door, past the two dead guards there. So Mingi turned to Hongjoong, finally taking in the blood that covered him before asking. “Tell me that belongs to the one who hurt her.”

“It does.” It was Seonghwa that answered, holding an angry San by the back of the neck as they descended the stairs. “He's nothing more than a mutilated corpse. We started a fire in the room she was held in, but let's burn this whole place to the ground.”

“Is she…” San prompted, blood sneered on his cheek and a crumbled picture in his hand. “She’s alive right?” He refused to look at either of them, his shoulders and voice trembling.

Hongjoong knew that this was hardest for San no doubt, with his experience and his past with you. Softly Hongjoong patted his broad shoulders. “She needs us to be strong, okay? Would our firecracker want us looking at her like she's broken goods?”

“No.” The three others, and Yeosang, all chimed in.

“Then let's go. It's about time we take her home.” He guided them outside to the waiting van, the door was open and Jongho was sitting on the floor, his back against the driver seat a very pissed off Yunho sat in. The man was gripping the steering wheel hard enough the veins on his hands were sticking out.

Hongjoong forced Mingi up front, climbing in the back with Seonghwa who was already covering you up with the blankets since Jongho refused to let you go. Er, well, you were now holding onto his arm so Hongjoong could only assume you didn't let him.

That just hurt more.

No more than a few seconds of pulling away from the building did a series of explosions go off, the building crumbling to rabble but for Hongjoong that wasn't enough. He couldn't take away what had happened to you, just the place it did. Nor could he undo the fact it happened to you… because of him. Of them and where they had you.

Only silence accompanied the somber tension in the van.

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#pirateeznet #lapydiariesnet #mirohsaurorasociety #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez ot8 #ciy #triggering content #ateez mafia au #ateez fanfiction #ateez fic #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #poly ateez x reader

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potatomountain · 2 months ago

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CIY CH 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

📍Pairing: detective ateez ot8 x detective afab reader

📍Summary: "It's okay to be scared"

📍WC: 3k

📍AU: detective/mafia

📍Genre: action, dark romance, poly romance

📍Warning(s): mentions of torture/r@pe, mentions of minor character death, mentions of sex trafficking and kidnapping, PTSD, panic attacks. trauma triggers.

📍Beta readers (and sole motivation): @yourfatherlucifer, @flurrys-creativity , @bunnliix, @adelusionforyourthoughts and occasionally @daemour

📍AN: a comfort chapter but there are still some serious topics so read at your own risk. also, not all panic attacks are like what reader experiences here in the chapter (this is going off my own p.a)

📍dividers and banner made by me!

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To say you haven’t had a moment alone would be an understatement. Someone was with you always, even when you had to use the restroom. Which- that was an embarrassing situation on its own, but after you had tried to take care of yourself alone the first time… well the embarrassment was better than the pain and anguish.

Surprisingly you didn’t mind someone glued to your side at all times. If it wasn’t Wooyoung, it was San. If it wasn’t one of them, it was Seonghwa. On occasion there were multiple. Sometimes Hongjoong was in here with Seonghwa, sometimes Yeosang was sitting in the corner on his laptop while Wooyoung or San, or both, had your undivided attention.

You couldn’t say how long had passed. A week? Maybe more? You hadn’t really moved from the room you were in, everything you could possibly need was brought to you. Food, water, any clothes from your apartment or belongings. Though you opted more for their clothes, the eager way some of them had begun to fight over who’s clothes you would wear next had you laughing.

Only for it to die as soon as you noticed the way they were looking at you. In awe, like their chest was aching.

It felt… wrong.

You were both grateful and appalled at the attention, and at the way they gave it. Ready to serve you, which from Wooyoung was normal and easy to accept- but when it was Seonghwa? Or the rare moments Mingi or Jongho or Yunho were here and soft with you… it left a bitter taste in your mouth.

None of them talked about it. They didn’t mention what had happened, nor the days before. Not even when you woke up screaming from a night terror, fighting off and hitting Hongjoong who had been the one watching you. The fact they felt the need to watch you was aggravating to say the least. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to be the first to say it. To mention it. To speak it into existence.

Once the pain began to subside, it was easier to forget it happened, pushing it to the back of your mind. In fact you were determined to act as if it had never happened, which wasn’t very easy to do, sandwiched between Wooyoung and San.

They were the touchiest, which you didn’t mind. Wooyoung was always touchy, but unlike before they were gentle and sweet: cupping your cheek, playing with your hands, kisses to your knuckles, and back rubs. San gave the better back rubs, rough and larger hands easing the tension there, but there was still a hard limit to how much they would touch you, as if the wrong touch would set you off.

With a huff you pushed yourself up, both of them sitting up just as quickly ready to get you anything you needed. You let the annoyance show. “I’m hungry and I want to shower. One of you is a radiating heater and I am laying in my own sweat for fuck’s sake.”

San chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry Sweetcheeks, I can help you with the shower-”

“No, I want to shower by myself. You can help Mister Chef with the food.” You stared down your nose at him, daring him to say otherwise.

“How about I stay right here just in case you need me?”

“San.” You warned, ignoring Wooyoung who was watching the battle of wills with his fingers over his mouth in shock. “I can handle a fucking shower by myself.”

Sensing this was something you weren’t going to budge on, he sighed. “And you can shower by yourself, but I would like to sit out here and wait for you in case you do need me. I’ve been cleaning you up all week, who knows you might want me to fix the spots you missed.” He winked, resulting in you rolling your eyes.

His words did make you feel less suffocated, and you knew that was why he said them, which just had you conflicted. He read you a little too well sometimes.

“Fine then. Chef Wooyoung-”

“Yes my lovely Goddess?”

“I would like to come downstairs and eat so take your time.”

“Hm alright, I’m sure the others have suffered without my cooking anyways. Enjoy your shower Goddess. Would you like my clothes today?”

“I’m wearing them now.” You pointed out with a smirk. His sweats were the ones that fit you the easiest. “But I suppose.” Patting his head you climbed around them, ignoring the twinge of pain from your sore muscles. Being bedridden did numbers on your body, even recovering, but you ignored the damage in favor of putting on a brave face.

You also ignored their gazes on your back as you made your way to the bathroom, completely forgetting the fact that you had showered daily since coming here. Sometimes twice. Usually to keep your wounds clean, but mostly because you felt unclean. And each time, Wooyoung or San, or even Seonghwa, would stand in the shower in their swim shorts and a shirt to bathe you properly.

Before, you would focus all your attention on them, just follow their lead. Let them take care of you. It was easy.

Now, as you stare in the mirror with the shirt off, it was not easy.

The cuts and bruises had faded significantly but they were still there. There was still so much proof of what had happened. How can you pretend it didn’t when it was right there?

Taking a deep breath you pushed forward, muttering under your breath it was fine. You had left the bathroom door cracked, despite telling yourself it would have been fine to lock it and give yourself some space but the idea of you alone in a locked room?

You could handle this, you weren’t broken. He didn’t break you. It was just a shower.

Mentally you talked yourself through each step until you were under the nice luxury shower, shutting your eyes and letting the water run down your body.

Big mistake.

There was no San or Wooyoung to keep you grounded. No clothes or sounds to remind you where you were, or keep your head out of that place.

You just wanted to forget. Just wanted to move on. But no matter how much you told yourself it didn’t happen, there was so much irrefutable proof that it did. No matter how much you didn’t want it to affect you, it did.

A scream erupted from you as arms were wrapped around you and you were pulled out of the shower. You slammed your fists down, hitting broad shoulders, but it didn’t deter whomever had you.

Not until you recognized San saying your name repeatedly.

You locked up, eyes flying open with fresh tears running down them. He had fresh scratches on his cheek from your nails, but his eyes held nothing but concern for you. “Are you with me now?”

Slowly you nodded, realizing you were panting- no hyperventilating just a moment ago. “I- yes. Yes I’m here.”

“Good. We need to talk.” He turned the shower off and then grabbed a towel. He wrapped you up and carried you out to the bedroom, door shut and curtains pulled tight: usually both were open so you didn’t feel more trapped.

They put so much effort into making you feel safe, you really didn’t know how to handle it. Was it because you were broken? No good to them? Or did they just feel like sucking up after what happened. You knew they felt guilty, from the moment you had latched onto Yunho when you woke up frightened. Then Wooyoung’s promise- which he had been keeping.

It was their way of caring for you, you couldn’t fault them for that. You just hated the why. Why they had to do so much. Treat you this way. And that without it you would be far more lost than you were now. You couldn’t run from it no matter how much you tried. How much you wanted to.

So as San sat you on the mattress and knelt before you, you peeled yourself away from him and grabbed the blankets to cocoon yourself in comfort. “Why did you come into the bathroom?”

San looked a bit perplexed, knees on the floor so he was still beneath you of sorts. “You were sobbing, quite loudly, and when I went in there you were struggling to breathe.” By your reaction, he gathered you hadn’t been aware of that. “Listen, I'm no stranger to these types of panic attacks. Sweetheart you have PTSD, which is understandable considering what happened. But pretending it didn’t happen isn’t going to fix it. Our bodies remember years after these things happen. I still struggle sometimes.”

Hugging the blanket tight you stared at him through the small hole you left yourself to breathe. “What do you mean? You went through something like that? Really?” It was hard to hide your disbelief, after all who could have gotten the jump on San? Big, muscly, trained to fight San?

He smiled wryly at you, and nodded. “Yeah… I did. I uh, guess it’s about time I let you in on my little secret. We went to school together, in fact you used to kick my ass in Taekwondo. I was a lot smaller then, higher pitched voice. Seemed to hit puberty late- yeah, now you remember.”

The more he had described himself, the more you did. The small twink that was a grade under year, and the only kid that wasn’t afraid to spare with you in your last year of high school. But he was shy, didn’t talk to you much, and he didn’t look much like the man before you. “But… didn’t that Choi San go missing shortly after his graduation? Don’t tell me you just joined up with these guys?”

He scoffed, but shook his head. “No, something happened first.” He crossed his arms over the mattress and rested his chin on the back of his hands, dropping the bomb. “I got sex trafficked. Red Wolves. I was one of the few that got sold in the city instead of shipped off, one of the Golden Circle business men had a certain… taste. It’s been a couple years but I still freak out about the idea of bottoming. I just…” He sighed, trailing off despite the bit of hurt in his voice. “Not with anyone here usually, but some days my mind just pluments and I can’t help it.”

Tears sprung back into your eyes at the imagery his words created. To imagine San, the sweet sunshine boy you remembered, going through something like that? “How’d you get out?”

“Wooyoung.” He brightened considerably at the name, smiling up at you. “He was hired as a call boy by the guy to do some things with me. He got me out by pulling some strings, and then put me here. I’m not the only one he got out of a tough bind, Yeosang too. He’s working hard to hopefully get his mother out of her situation but, that’s a lot harder than buying a sex slave or freeing you from someone else’s hold. Mingi too knows what it’s like, his mom got him into some serious shit when he was a minor.”

Your heart hurt for every single one of them. You couldn’t imagine the pain and fear you felt belonging to one of these men. Sure they were mafia. Sure they lied to you. But how could you doubt them when they had treated you like this the past week or so?

So much made sense, and it warmed your heart to know their care wasn’t out of pity, but understanding. They knew the fear that you were put through. And they knew what came after.

“Does it… does it ever go away?” You mumbled out, scooting closer and reaching for him.

San didn’t hesitate, sitting up straighter and holding his arms out. You climbed down onto his lap, shivering at the cold but he pulled the blankets back over you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Yes and no. It’s something that’s going to live with you forever. It’ll shape a lot of what you do, but if you mean the pain… that does go away. As long as you address it and feel it when it pops up. But then you have to remind yourself that it’s in the past. That man can’t hurt you any more- hell Hongjoong made sure of that. He was covered in the man’s blood.”

“I remember. I didn’t…. I didn’t know what to think about it at the time. I could barely process that Hongjoong and Seonghwa were there. That they were tortured too. I realize not like me… or maybe?”

“Yeah, what you went through was that bastard's way of trying to hurt them too. And I’m sorry about that baby girl. You're always going to be a weak spot for us, because we care so much about you. Wooyoung told you he loved you… he’s not the only one you know.” San gently rubbed your back, the same way he had every chance he got recently. It soothed you, helped regulate your breathing, and now you knew he did it because it probably worked for him too.

Smiling, you buried your face into his neck and breathed him in, always a comforting scent. “Are you going to confess now too?”

“Honestly I’m ashamed I wasn’t the first one. I liked you long before they even knew you.” He admitted with a huff and you could feel him smile as you laughed. “Even when you kicked my ass I thought you were the coolest girl and I had the biggest crush.”

Lifting your head you arched a brow. “Oh, now I see, that’s what you meant when you had said you had imagined pinning me down so many times. Twink 3000 was a major pervert huh?” You teased, laughing even more as he blushed, stumbling over his words.

“I was hoping you would forget I said that-”

“How can I?” You interrupted, cupping his jaw and forcing him to look at you. “There were times he would… touch me… that I comforted myself by thinking about those times with you guys. With you in the gym, Mingi, Wooyoung… I didn’t want to be scared of being touched like that.”

He softened, bringing his hands to your sides and holding you there. “It’s okay to be scared of it. It’s okay if you don’t trust us like that yet. Or ever again. We aren’t going to think less of you. We aren’t going to get upset if you don’t want us like that. Or if you only want one of us like that. Jongho doesn’t fuck all of us. Yeosang doesn’t either. Captain and Hwa share this bed, they’re a bit more than the rest of us but that’s fair. No one expects you to love or want us equally, but that doesn’t make you less of an equal in the ways that count.”

“Sannie-”

“It’s okay if you start crying randomly, or you need space or need the opposite. If you need a break or need to work. You went through something traumatic and you’re going to figure your triggers out and go through it differently than us.”

“Sannie.” You said it a bit louder this time, trying to get him out of his little tangent.

But he kept going, intent on getting his point across. “We just don’t know what you need yet so we were doing what works for us until you do but there isn’t anything wrong if you wanna keep this up too so like-”

“San!” You snapped out, then crashed your lips to his.

He was so startled he fell back, holding you to him but responding without hesitation once the shock passed. Of course kissing wasn’t something you thought you would want to do. Anything sexual, just as he had pointed out, but this was San.

This was your rock, your solid mountain. Your dimpled sunshine and perfect muscly pillow and you loved him. Just as much as you did Wooyoung.

Sure you hadn’t intended on confessing to the little yapper, but you had been spurred on his and knowing you were loved after what happened was oddly healing. There was a long way to go though.

Your hands found San’s hair, curling in the short black strands and moaning against the kiss as you proved to yourself you could enjoy this. At least until his hands roamed down to your ass. Pulling away while simultaneously catching your breath you grabbed his hands. “Kisses for now. And yes, I love you. If you had stopped with your big ‘It’s okay’ speech for two seconds I could tell you that.”

He chuckled bashfully but was grinning up at you so much his dimples were on full display. “You looove me~”

“This is the part where you say it back dumbass.”

He laughed, sitting up just as he swept you into his arms and somehow managed to get you on the bed and him on his feet in a matter of seconds. “I love you too baby girl. Now let’s find those clothes for you and then we can go downstairs and eat. Though I am vetoing you being alone naked, or in a locked room until you actually feel comfortable and am not doing it just because we annoyed you with our clinginess.”

With a pout you nodded in agreement. Considering both seemed to be things you just couldn’t handle alone - yet - you could agree there. “Can I freely roam the building then and, I don’t know, try and do some work?”

“Oh so you do want to work?” He hummed out, moving over to the bin of clothes that had been gathered for you. “As a detective or…”

Now that was the real question. Traumatizing hostage experience aside, and your love for two of these men, where did you stand with them? As individuals, in a career sense… in a partner sense?

“I guess I should talk to everyone and figure it out shouldn’t I?”

AN: One last chapter to go! Bringing Case: It's You to it's climax.

This story focused more on reader finding a home with Ateez and learning their secret, as well as some other things. but book 2, Case: It's Us, will tackle the usual plot point of taking down the rest of the crim world... if they can. From Revenge, to healing, to a whole lot of smut -- please look forward to book 2! I hope I can wrap this one up in a way that satisfies you all, and really shows where their relationship is here at the end of Book 1

Taglist will be done in reblogs and again, keep your eyes peeled for taglist instructions on the last chapter. Follow them and you will be added to the new taglist! The old one will be scrapped!

#pirateeznet #lapydiariesnet #mirohsaurorasociety #ciy #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez ot8 #ateez mafia au #triggering content #ateez fanfiction #ateez angst #ateez fic #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #poly ateez x reader

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