#posh Regulus black

[hitmewithsomebooks]

@jegulus-microfic Jan 29 - fancy

Cowboy James au 🤠

1012 words 🙈

This will be a multi-part :)

~

"Now, I demand that—"

"Whoa there, fancy-pants, what seems t’ be the trouble?" James drawled, placing a hand on the fuming man's chest. He was small, slight, with a head of perfect dark curls and silver eyes, and he shot James a withering look.

"This doesn't concern you." The man snapped, eyeing James before returning to the bartender. "I swear to god, if you don't give it right now, I will knock your fucking lights out—"

"Okay, okay." James intervened again, despite the man's dismissal. Or maybe because of it.

"Now, th’rs no need t’ talk t’ mah friend like that."

The smaller man glared at him.

"Your friend just so happens to be my brother. Who has taken away my fucking phone, because he's a dick." The man spat, directing a glare towards Sirius.

"Well, tha’s not very nice." James admonished, giving him a little pout.

"And who exactly are you?" The man asked James, turning to properly face him, an expression of annoyance and disdain on his face. Here, Sirius cut in.

"Regulus, this is James. My friend. James, this is Regulus, my menace of a little brother." Sirius introduced.

"Regulus." James repeated, grinning, and stuck out a hand. "Lovely t’ meet ya."

"Can't say the same for you, given you're so nosy." Regulus sniffed, but shook his hand anyway. James squeezed his hand a little, then let go.

"Well, since ah���m so nosy, ah’m gonna ask why exactly Sirius took your phone. Cuz ah gotta feelin' he might have a good reason." Regulus opened his mouth to protest, but Sirius cut him off.

"He won't stop texting an arsehole who broke his heart and stole his job." James's eyebrows raised.

"Well that just won' do." He frowned, looking down at Regulus. "Why're you still textin' ‘im ?"

Regulus looked, for just a moment, vulnerable. Then, he put his chin up, and a mask with it.

"He has a really big cock." He replied, granting James and Sirius a sharp, self-satisfied grin. Sirius rolled his eyes, and James laughed.

"Good to know whatcha like, sugar." James murmured, and Regulus's eyes widened minutely. Sirius, luckily, had been distracted by another customer, and hadn't heard James's remark.

~

James had left the bar only a few minutes after they'd met, needing to help out a friend with something. He promised he'd be back later, and Regulus was anticipating it more than he'd like.

"How come you didn't tell me you'd befriended a tall, smooth, hot-as-fuck cowboy??" Regulus asked Sirius, tone incredulous and annoyed.

"Because I knew you'd jump him, and I didn't want him to be your rebound." Sirius answered, giving him a pointed look.

"Oh, please." Regulus scoffed, downing his shot. "That man doesn't seem like he'd be at all phased by a little rebound." Sirius frowned at him.

"He may seem like a confident, smooth-talking cowboy, but he's also quite kind. Considerate. I don't want you breaking him." Sirius answered, and Regulus scowled.

"In case you don't recall, my last relationship ended with me breaking down sobbing in your arms and sleeping on your couch for a month." Regulus said pointedly.

"I do, thank you. But I also remember how you ended it with Will, who was really decent. Bloke texted me for  weeks asking why you'd done it like that. You fucked him up, Reg."

"He's fine. His fragile masculinity will survive." Regulus waved it off, playing with his glass. "But come on, Sirius, did you see James?? He's exactly my type. I mean, the curls, the eyes, and, lord, those thighs in tight fucking jeans? Send me straight to hell because I. Want. To. Sin." Regulus groaned, pleading to Sirius.

"No." His brother replied shortly, before going to tend to another customer.

*

It was only two hours later when James returned to the bar, but now the place was bustling, as it was 8:30. Music was booming throughout the place, full of happily buzzed people dancing around and on one another. Regulus was sat at the bar, glowering at his phone still in Sirius's back pocket. He didn't even care about Barty anymore, he was just bored. Or so he told himself.

"Hey there, fancy-pants." A voice rumbled in his ear, and Regulus startled. Then, he turned, meeting warm hazel eyes.

"Well hello, nosy." Regulus replied, fondly. He was pleasantly tipsy, just on the edge of drunk, his usual wall-like inhibitions lowered. James flashed him a pleased smile.

"Sirius still got your phone?" James asked, glancing at the busy bartender.

"Yes, the cunt." Regulus groused, his tongue also even sharper when he was tipsy.

"Y'know, fer such a pretty thing, y’ve got a filthy mouth." James commented, but it wasn't an admonishment. A wicked smile played his lips as he said it.

"Yeah? Well, what are you going to do about it, Mr. Morality?" Regular sneered, taking another sip of his drink.

"Ah’m gonna ask you to dance, sugar." James replied, and a pleasant shiver went through Regulus's body at the nickname.

"Sorry, but I don't dance." Regulus hummed, partly to make it harder for the man and partly because he really wasn't too confident in his dance moves.

"Mmm, ah think you do. Jus' has to be with the right person." James smirked. Regulus gave him an amused look.

"And you think that's you, do you?" He asked, swirling his drink around his glass.

“Ah think that you really want that phone back, and if y’ dance with me, I’ll get it for you." James rumbled, and Regulus's eyebrows raised.

"Is that so?"

"Yes sir." James grinned, and Regulus shivered again.

"How will you get it?" He asked, wondering how far he could push this man.

"D'you see him? His attention's on nothin' but the customer's drinks. Ah could easily tell him ah’m slippin' out, pat him on the back, and swipe your phone. He prob'ly wouldn't even hear me." James drawled, and Regulus looked at him contemplatively.

"Okay." He sighed, pulling himself away from the bar. "I'll dance with you."

~

Next part

[bimoonphases]

@wolfstarmicrofic March 5 – prompt 5: Wolfsbane Potion – word count 922

Wolfsbane Potion - eases the symptoms of lycanthropy; prevents werewolves from losing their minds post-transformation

The call had come right as Remus was finishing gulping down his Wolfsbane Potion with a grimace, Sirius sitting by his side on the couch, his favourite chocolate ready in hand. The fireplace had suddenly lit up and Mary’s face had appeared.

“What happened?” they chorused.

Even after three whole years of peace, of amends from the Ministry to the both of them, of their quiet, happy life in their cottage, of the frequent visits their godson paid them, of being hailed among the heroes of two wizarding wars, their first instinct was to think something was wrong.

“Nothing bad,” Mary said soothingly. “I’m sorry, I know it’s late but someone just dropped their newborn off before disappearing and you’re first on our adoption list, so…”

Remus looked at his husband for a split second. Sirius nodded.

“We’ll be right there!” he said.

A couple of minutes later, they apparated in front of the main doors of St Mungo���s and walked inside. Remus didn’t really like the place, he had spent way too much time in there after the end of the war, helping the staff both with magical treatments to lycanthropy and the way to deal gently with those who shared his condition. The clink of his cane on the white floor echoed as they walked past the reception and crossed paths with two Elf doctors discussing a patient. Remus felt more than saw Sirius slow down as they passed by the doors leading to the Regulus Arcturus Black Wing for Elves. Since the rehabilitation of his name, and the fact there was now a branch of the Ministry dedicated and run by every non-human creature, many things had changed in the way the wizarding world saw the Elves. Still, it was just another reminder of all the people they had lost in the two wars. Remus took Sirius’s hand in his and they walked on, reaching the newborn wing, where Mary was waiting right by the door.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

“We’ve been waiting for a long time, so obviously not,” Sirius laughed, but Remus noticed the slight tremble in his voice.

When they had moved in their cottage at the end of the war they had agreed on giving themselves a year to adapt then check in with each other to see if they still wished to adopt children. They had asked to be put on the waiting list for abandoned children at St Mungo’s three months later.

“We checked, and he’s healthy and strong,” Mary went on.

“It’s a boy?” Sirius said slowly.

“I know you wanted a little girl to spoil, Sirius,” Mary laughed.

“Bold of you to think I wouldn’t spoil a little boy,” Sirius muttered.

“What else do you know?” Remus asked.

“There was no note or objects with him, but he’s a magical kid as well. He’s really perfectly fine, just unwanted.”

“Not anymore,” Sirius said, clasping Remus’s hand.

They followed Mary in a room and watched her take a bundle wrapped in blankets from a crib and turn towards them.

“Here he is,” she said softly. “Would you like to hold him?”

Remus nudged Sirius forward.

“I have to sit down first, I don’t want to drop him,” he said.

Sirius delicately took the bundle from Mary’s hands and sat down by Remus’s side. Only the little face was visible, eyes closed and jet-black hair already curling at the ends.

“He looks like you,” Remus whispered.

“I’ll leave you to get acquainted,” Mary said, quietly walking out of the room.

The baby moved, and managed to get a tiny hand out of the blanket to rub against his cheek.

“He’s so beautiful…” Sirius chocked. “Our son. We have a son, Moony.”

“We do, my love,” Remus answered, kissing Sirius’s cheek.

“Our little nameless son,” Sirius smiled. “What shall we name him?”

Remus took a deep breath.

“We discussed it, remember? About how to use names?” he asked.

“No first names after someone because he deserves to have his own,” Sirius nodded.

“And James as middle name is Harry’s to use if he has a son one day,” Remus added.

They had lost so much in all those years, they had had to write those rules down to not get overwhelmed once the moment came. Even with that, Remus’s first instinct if the baby would have been a girl would have been to name her Lily, and that one too was Harry’s name to use if he wanted.

“The name you said the other day, the one in your book,” Sirius looked at Remus.

“Anwell?”

“You said it meant ‘beloved’ in Welsh. And he’ll be so beloved, won’t he?”

The baby babbled in his sleep.

“I think he likes it,” Sirius chuckled.

“If he gets my surname and a Welsh name, you get to pick the middle one,” Remus said, mesmerised by the way the tiny mouth was moving.

“I’d like…”

Remus looked up at Sirius, noticing tears forming in his eyes. He knew what his husband was about to say, but he waited all the same.

“I’d like it to be Regulus,” Sirius whispered. “To give him the happy life his namesake never got to have. If it’s alright for you, Moony.”

“Of course it is.”

Sirius nodded, tears now streaming on his cheeks.

“Go with Dad, Papa needs to cry a bit,” he said, delicately placing the baby in Remus’s arms.

Remus looked down at the baby, his heart swelling with happiness.

“Welcome to the world, Anwell Regulus Lupin,” he whispered.

[siriusly-writes]

“I love you”

“No”

“I love you”

“You can’t”

“Why, I love you”

“We ca- I can’t, please”

[aithusarosekiller]

Every time someone makes the marauders American a good character withers away and dies

[foursaints]

okay but bartylus moment where barty's whimper awakens something in regulus and later at night he's staring at the ceiling replaying the whole thing in his head trying not to use it for specific explicit daydreams. [he is also definitely the type to let barty do x pushups and have him say 'regulus' with each one]

no no you SO get it. an essential part of regulus black is being like “FUCK OFF THATS SO DISGUSTING” [😳😳💦💦😳 <- internal monologue]

the push-up thing is so funny i’m cackling.. barty would do it constantly to annoy him especially during the period in quarantine when the gyms were closed and he’d be working out in their kitchen. he gets all confused why reg’s “STOP IT” is so genuine and reggie is just there like i. well. um. i hate you.

[deathnguts]

Asian regulus black watched everything everywhere all at once and promptly died

[zazzander]

The Pureblood Accent Headcanons

Pureblood wizards split off from their upper-class counterparts in and around the Statute of Secrecy, i.e., the 17th century. For this reason, I would expect the Black cousins and their peers to have a markedly different accent to pretty much anyone else in the UK.

After the split, the London accent went through a variety of changes, some of which I’m sure the purebloods did pick up eventually. So I basically mixed what was the aristocratic accent of the late 17th century (which was still mostly rhotic!) with modern "posh" accent.

Keep in mind, most wizards live in isolated areas. Many families reside in the West Country. We know a significant portion live in Hogsmeade (i.e. Scotland). We can assume the accent is also influenced by that. For families like the Potters and the Weasleys, even more so.

In my headcanon, their vowels would look a little like this (use the IPA chart to get the sounds):

Some examples of how that looks in words / names! (my best guess)

"James Potter" = d͡ʒɛɪmz pɔt-tɛɹ (pought-teR)

"Black" = blɛk

"Sirius" = sɪː.ɾi.əs "Regulus" = ɾeg.ul.əs "Andromeda" = ɛn.dɾɑ.meː.də (so "Andy" would be more like "Endy", "Meda" would be like "May-da"), "Bellatrix" = bɛ̈l.ə.tɾiks "Narcissa" = nɑɹ.si.sə (sounds very American)

"Remus Lupin" = rɪː.məs luː.pin

"Molly Weasley" = mɑ.lɪː weːz.lɪː

"Muggles" = mɤ-gəlz (almost like moo-glz)

"Muggle-born" = mɤ-gəl-boːɹn (moo-gl-bouRn)

"Mudblood" = mɤd-blɤd (mewd-blewd)

Added: you can listen to the sounds here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Phonetic_Alphabet_chart

[littleliterarylesbian]

regulus the kind of man to put his chapstick on with his fingers

[fiendishfyre]

Regulus with tattoos that isn't the Dark Mark doesn't look or feel like Regulus like who is this mans? Because Regulus Arcturus Black would never.

[morganas-simp]

I live for James Potter calling Regulus Black a posh boy even though he’s also rich and spoiled.

[yourgalgremlin]

(James & Harry) 🤝 (Regulus & Draco):

JAMES: I’ll take the prettiest, vicious Slytherin twink you got. Extra mean to me. Prickly on the outside/gooey inside—

DRIVE-THRU: Anything else?

HARRY: Can I actually get 1 of those, too? Blonde.

JAMES: k so 2 posh twinks—& if they can BOTH be from the Black Family—easy on the feral energy por favor?

[maxdibert]

hi! i saw in one of your posts you wrote about how Sirius Black had no reason to bully Snape and i thought about it…..i mean doesn't his hatred seem too personal? we have Lupin who has no contact with Snape after book 3 but Sirius goes crazy when Snape is around and they are alone so he can attack him (kitchen scene in book 5). and he knows so much about him: who he hung out with at school, his relationship with Lucius; at the same time he doesn't know about the mark, about how Severus was the one who brought the prophecy to voldemort that led to Lily and James death. and yes he is stuck at age 21 but even then they graduated school and as he says they never heard of Snape in those years. It seems a bit odd: don't bullies usually try to downplay their role in what they did to the victim, or even try to make it look like nothing happened? And he and Remus try to do that with Harry, but at the same time he seems incredibly proud and pleased with himself when he talks about the prank. One moment confused me when I was reading book 3: when Sirius has Peter at gunpoint with his wand, he is extremely focused on him. He doesn't take his eyes off him, because it was for this moment, the act of revenge, that he escaped from prison. As far as I remember, Harry describes it as "nothing could distract him at that moment" or something like that. But as soon as Remus even mentions Snape, Sirius' attention suddenly switches: he turns away from Peter and asks about him again. Or when he watches Snape during the OWL exams??? Especially when Rowling describes his reaction after the exam, when he sees him under the tree, as the reaction of a dog to a rabbit. He seems so obsessed and like something happened between them that really got to him. Or he's just as intolerant of half-bloods as his family. I completely agree with you that Sirius bullied Snape simply because James did it and he found it funny. But his hatred seems excessive, he has no reason to hate Snape so much. James has his excuse about Lily, but Sirius has none of that. But he still tries to kill him and it doesn't really matter hides, lol. I've read an opinion that he hates him because of his unrequited feelings for James, where Severus is the reason James even noticed Lily, which I don't really agree with, to be honest. Sorry, it got too long, ahaha. What I want to ask is: do you have any thoughts on this?

Well, the explanation for his relationships at school is quite simple because Sirius doesn’t leave home until he’s 16. Considering that his brother goes to Slytherin and that Narcissa is his cousin, it’s not strange to deduce that Snape’s name, along with other Slytherin students, probably came up at some family dinner/lunch/meeting. Like, talking about who in Regulus and Sirius’ year might have ‘potential,’ for example. It seems coherent to me that, considering Sirius’ environment until he leaves to live with the Potters, he’d be aware of certain things.

Leaving that aside, let’s talk about Sirius Black, because I think in recent years the Marauders fandom has ruined this character, and he’s actually a character with a lot of depth. Or at least more than many others in the saga.

(This is gonna ne so fucking long lol)

Sirius is a posh kid. He’s a posh kid who is embarrassed about being posh and feels guilty about it. He’s the typical rich kid from a conservative family who’s had issues with his mom (in this case) and his way of getting back at everything he felt was missing from his childhood is to vehemently oppose everything he thinks she represents. And the funniest part is that (as is often the case) his problem with his mom is that they both have a terrible character, which is why they clash. Because Sirius has the kind of terrible character that is incompatible with anyone else who has the same terrible character. But despite everything, he’s still a posh kid. Because he comes from an aristocratic family and was raised with those values of superiority. Because he’s never had to fend for himself (he leaves home but goes to another rich family, the Potters, and on top of that, his uncle Alphard leaves him his entire inheritance, so he has plenty of money) and he has always enjoyed the privilege of his surname, his blood status, and the fact that he’s (according to Rowling) super handsome. In other words, Sirius belongs to the ruling class and behaves with the same arrogance, entitlement, and lack of empathy that is typical of that class. No matter how much he tries to deny it and distance himself from it, he can only do so on a superficial level (Muggle posters, being a Gryffindor, enchanting a Muggle motorcycle) because when it comes down to it, he has no idea how to deconstruct himself, nor is he interested in giving up or losing his privileges, because he’s quite comfortable with them. He’s like the typical aristocratic kid from an Opus Dei family who thinks he’s better than everyone around him because he votes for the left and has been to four protests, but at the end of the day, he still lives a bourgeois life and doesn’t understand the root of social problems.

That said, let’s move on to James.

I think James was everything Sirius wanted to be. No, not be, I think James had everything Sirius wanted to have: loving parents, a family that wasn’t involved in a cult, a pleasant environment that allowed him to do whatever he wanted instead of being constrained by traditions and social norms, liberal and progressive ideals… James had the life Sirius had always wanted, but with one key detail: he was also rich and from an old, prestigious family. This is super important because when Sirius chooses his rebellion partner, he doesn’t pick some random Muggle-born, or a half-blood, or someone from the middle or lower class. Sirius chooses as his best friend someone who embodies everything he wants to be/have, but who at the same time belongs to his same social stratum, both economically and in blood status. Sirius chooses a future Gryffindor rebel with very different ideas from his family, but ironically he chooses like anyone from his family would: someone with money, status, and power. And I find this super amusing because it’s so coherent with his character. I mean, if Sirius were a real person, he would’ve done the same thing because guys like him are like that: the kings of cognitive dissonance and double standards.

Sirius always wanted James’ validation, or at least that’s how I see it. I think for him, feeling that James approved of what he did was a way to legitimize himself as someone different from his family. James represented the “progressive” social elite that Sirius aspired to by rejecting the traditional values imposed on him. So, unconsciously, he understood that if he did everything James wanted, and I’ll go further, everything he thought James would like, then he would distance himself from that Black image and gain validation as something entirely opposite. The problem is that Sirius, unlike James, was raised in an environment where ethical and moral values were very different, and where it was clearly established that certain people were “the other,” an “other” sociologically understood as the idea that some humans are inherently less than others. And although Sirius consciously rejected this idea, unconsciously he had been raised with it. Therefore, consciously, he didn’t reject people based on their blood status because he could identify that as something his family would do, and family = bad. But unconsciously, he was conditioned to see other people as non-people, and this is where Severus comes into play.

James dislikes Severus because he sees him as an obstacle/threat/nuisance in his crush on Lily. By default, and because of that constant need for validation from James, Sirius also focuses on him as a hostile element. And if he’s hostile to James, who in a way is his moral compass, then that guy must be trash because, of course, it’s obvious. But not only that, this guy is also a half-blood and poor, so poor he wears old clothes. And on top of that, he’s ugly. And not very masculine. So he has all the elements for Sirius, the aristocrat raised in luxury under the premise that he’s better than others because of his origins, to see him as “the other” and exercise all his power and privilege to oppress him without remorse, because for him, it’s justified. Justified unconsciously by the education he received, and consciously because if James hates him, there must be a good reason to hate him, so everything is justified. If we add to that the fact that Severus desires everything Sirius has always tried to reject: more social status, more recognition, power, belonging to Slytherin, rubbing shoulders with important wizards, forgetting the Muggle world he grew up in… well, we have a molotov cocktail for him to make Severus’ life unbearable. And Severus is an easy target for someone like school-age Sirius Black: he has no friends, no surname, no parents to protect him, and no stable socio-economic situation. Sirius can project all his frustrations onto him without any consequences. He can completely dehumanize him and stop seeing him as a person. He can behave like a Black.

I think the Prank is a good example to see the difference in upbringing between Sirius and James. Both are bullies, both are abusers, both have zero remorse when it comes to using their status and power to make life impossible for those they believe deserve it. But James was raised in an environment where he knows that actions have consequences, that you can’t cross “certain lines,” such as murder, for example. Sirius was taught the opposite—he was raised to think that the life of “the other” holds no value, and that is something that in his story with Severus goes too far. James understands that death is something serious and can bring terrible consequences, while Sirius does not. For the Black family, death is nothing if there is a reason for the person to die, and Sirius has his own reasons for playing with Severus’ life the way Bellatrix would play with the life of any Muggle-born.

(This is something I really like as well—the way Sirius and Bellatrix are fundamentally alike, and how little that’s discussed. But I’ll leave that for another time, otherwise I won’t finish.)

I don’t think it’s a matter of Sirius being obsessed with Snape, but rather that, for all the reasons I’ve explained, he uses Severus as a catalyst for his repressed anger and that sadism he inherited from his family. He can’t channel it toward anyone else because that would lead to absolute rejection from James. Since James hates and despises Severus, he’s never going to question Sirius for channeling all his pent-up rage on him, so it’s a free pass. If he had reached that level of sadism with someone who didn’t provoke the same level of animosity in James as Severus did, he would have risked confronting his biggest fear: that James would see him as a Black, not as Sirius. Losing his validation as the black sheep to become just another one of them. So he focuses on Severus because it’s a safe bet.

Moving on to their relationship during the book canon…

We don’t really see a proper confrontation until the fifth book. I mean, in the third, it shows that Sirius still sees Severus as “other” by dragging him along while unconsciously banging his head. In the fourth, there’s that scene where Dumbledore forces them to shake hands, and it’s clear they still hate each other. But it’s not until the fifth book that we get a real confrontation, where Sirius loses his temper. I think this has a lot to do with (drumroll) once again that cognitive dissonance between what Sirius always wanted to be and what he actually is, especially given the role he plays on the chessboard at that point in the story.

Sirius did everything he could to distance himself from his family, and the climax of that was joining the Order of the Phoenix and actively fighting against that same family, several members of whom were “soldiers” for the opposite side. Sirius is finally achieving what he wants—to be a hero. To stop being part of the elite dark villains and instead be part of the heroic elite. The noble of high birth who fights valiantly for the good of the realm, just as James was destined to be. It’s the climax, the absolute fulfillment of his adolescent desire. But then he’s thrown into Azkaban, and when he gets out, he finds that the poor, weird kid addicted to dark arts, who sucked up to future dark wizards, who hung out with purists and even joined the “bad side”—the side of Sirius’ family, the villains—is now the most important member of the Order. He’s none other than Dumbledore’s right hand. He’s a double agent risking his neck every day and has more responsibility than anyone else. That kid Sirius called Snivellus for being a crybaby has more guts and more endurance than most people. The one who always wanted to be part of the elite Sirius hated is now the one playing them all, making them look like idiots. The one who looked frail and effeminate turns out to be more “manly.” And that hurts. That hurts a lot. You go to prison, and when you get out, the person you didn’t even consider a person not only ranks above you, but is playing in a league you can’t aspire to. And the best part is, Sirius can’t fully accept it because he’s still Sirius—a classist, privileged aristocrat incapable of accepting that (as is only logical) the poor working-class kid turned out to be far more useful than him in both politics and war.

To me, it’s poetic justice.

[randommmthoughts]

When James was young, he used to daydream about Regulus, member of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. (He still does, to be fair, when his husband isn’t looking)

He fantasized about the stoic Slytherin, who always snarled his last name. James’s heart perked up anytime he heard “Potter” in his posh accent, even more when Regulus was tired and his French accent came through.

He had almost lost a match against Slytherin, to mesmerised by the boys Quidditch skills. So it didn’t come as a surprise when his Amorentia smelled like broom polish, forest and green apples. Green apples, because Regulus seemed to live solely on those.

Imagine James’s surprise when Harry, the son Lily and James co-parented, who had two fathers and two mothers, began to ramble about Draco Malfoy, member of one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight.

At first it was all hate talk. “He’s so annoying”, “He always calls me Pottah”, “Why is he always in a mood?!”

But through the years it developed and now Harry was quite obviously smitten with the mean Slytherin. Seeker of the other Quidditch team. And when one day Harry wrote a letter home about them making Amorentia, and his smelling like green apples, but that couldn’t be because what would he have to do with Malfoy? Regulus snorted. “Well, you potters clearly have a type” he mumbled.

Then, even quieter. “Can’t believe my grandnephew will become my son-in-law”

[siriusly-writes]

Give it to me

No

Give it to me

NO

…pleeaaaaseeeeee

no

Your a dick

Great… I’m still not giving you the sticker

BUT I ATE MY CARROTS

YOU STABBED MIKE NO STICKER

MIKE DESERVED IT

YES BUT YOU GOT CAUGHT

POV: your trying to rehabilitate a long life child soldier as an ex-child soldier your self

You forgot that you have questionable morals, no childhood to reference and are not qualified for this.

[loserboyfriendrjl]

regulus black is a loser who wears suits even when he doesn’t have to, who speaks in a posh accent all the time, who moans about things to get his way, who has acquaintances but not friends, who was jealous of his brother who didn’t have to study yet still got higher grades than him, whose only real, genuine friend was a house elf, who stayed up at night journalling because he didn’t want to sleep, who put a sign on his door asking people to specially not enter his bedroom without his express permission, who was arrogant and full of himself, who was always in his brother’s shadow and to whom people only paid attention in hopes that he would be as interesting and compelling as his brother (he isn’t)

[florsial]

Evan is a disowned heir of a rich family who ends up as the Victorian doctor who performs illegal surgeries and wanders the streets at night kidnapping prostitutes or just anyone unfortunate enough to be sleeping in an alleyway, and harvesting their organs for the Black Market to support himself and his twin sister Pandora who was also disowned, as she tries to get her education complete enough to secure a full-time teaching job as a professor at a well-known university. They bear the posh accents and elegant mannerisms of their wealthy birth. The twins live in a run-down, cheap, and dirty flat in a building owned and forgotten by the aristocratic Crouch Family where their only son, a sleazy and lecherous professor named Barty, often runs off too to avoid his father.

Barty somehow becomes friends with Pandora and endears himself to Evan, who he pays absurd amounts of money as a resurrectionist for his lectures at the university. Over time it becomes less for his lectures and more of an excuse to talk to Evan more often. One day, Barty decides to follow Evan and finds him dissecting people in dank alleyways and just watches in amazement before running off back to his house and spending the entire night drinking absurdly expensive alcohol and just thinking about Evan and his blood-streaked blonde hair and steady hands and mindless humming. The next day, Barty cannot keep his cool and has to leave earlier than usual or else he might jump Evan and impulsively sends the guy a bunch of photos containing cadavers and organs as a pathetic attempt at flirting. He was actually supposed to use those photos for his upcoming lecture and had to ask another professor at the university if he could borrow theirs.

Meanwhile, Regulus is the fiance of a wealthy aristocratic heir who ran away after getting caught in a scandal where he publicly berated and attempted to physically attack his to-be-husband and his mistress, who was the wife of another aristocrat. Due to his pride, he chose to run away on his own terms instead of being disowned. He quickly comes to the conclusion that he doesn't understand how to navigate life without his family's support so he turns to prostitution and caters to broke lower-class men and women who want to delude themselves with the illusion of a comfortable and wealthy lifestyle with Regulus' elegant and upper-class mannerisms and speech. He finds the job isn't all too different from when he was pandering to the society around him back with his parents. At his job, he meets Evan, who nearly tries to kill Regulus without looking properly, and he immediately recognizes him from dinner parties, balls, and shared private tutors so there is just this moment when Evan has Regulus pinned to the ground with a pair of scissors at Reg's throat and his eyes just brighten like "Hey! I know you!" and Regulus is like "😨" and hyperventilating. Regulus eventually moves in with the Twins, much to their delight.

On the terms of Jegulus, because I can't help myself, the news of Regulus' runaway reaches Sirius who was aboard studying and he flees home back to London immediately and spends a week running back and forth from his parents to the Potters' and their son, James, a politician. Mainly just him screaming at his parents for their poor parenting and running to the Potters' to cry about where Regulus could've possibly went or if he's alive. This repeats for about a week and is how James becomes familiar with Regulus, through Sirius' pov, and the situation that has occurred. Everything kinda just marinates in his head for some time until he's out at night and thoroughly frustrated with his occupation and its details, runs into Regulus, who, not knowing it's James, offers his services with a teasing voice and alluring eyes. When he does recognize James, he immediately makes a run for it, leading to a 12 am cat and mouse chase between a sophisticated politician and riches to rags prostitute. Eventually, James corners Regulus, but finds that he literally has no idea what to do so they just stand in an alleyway dead end in silence for a long time until:

"I won't talk if you don't talk."

"Deal."

James tries to take Regulus up on his earlier offer but both of them feel a little too weirded out after a small make-out session so James just sends him a stack of money and runs off. Should've been a done deal, right? Nope, James finds himself walking that same street a couple days later and sees Regulus again, it spirals into a long range of nightly hangouts where they would just sit on a bench and talk, without anything physical, and James would drop money in Regulus' hands and run off, repeat. The arrangement works for them nicely and is how they fall in love. Which is disastrous actually because then James avoids Regulus like a plague for a couple of days and during those couple of days, Regulus focuses his attention on clients who like James in some way. When they meet up again, it awkward asf but they kiss once and walk away with “Are we together???” In their heads.