#pmdd thoughts

[dragonheartstring360]

i just feel it so much and it’s too much to keep inside, but I have nowhere to put it and there’s nowhere for it go except back inside me

[faerie-hideaway]

My brain when the PMDD hits:

" Haha Oops all hormones"

Then, later on...

"actually, gimme that back...bitch"

[nothingleftinmylungsforyou]

“Do you think forever gets sick of itself?”

“What do you mean?”

“The back and forth and up and down over and under and over and under. A suffocating proposal of the inside out until someone gets so sick of coughing it’s orange blood up in the sink — then, do you think it could it stop repeating?”

“Forever doesn’t mean here and now — nothing is forever. Nothing is infinite, nothing is vast. Forever can get sick of itself, sure —but nothing ever will.”

Movies I Hope I’ll Write One Day When I Learn How To Focus And Stop Dangling My Throat Off The Edges Of Old Buildings (Ruiner)

[desultory-suggestions]

If your periods/menstrual cycle correlate with

- Depressive Episodes

- Self Harm

- Suicidal Thoughts

- Severe or Increased Anxiety

- Sudden or Intense Mood Changes

Please consider asking your medical practitioner about Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. I had no idea that the emotions I was feeling were beyond the regular levels. I was always told by media that periods made you irrational, emotional, and even depressed. While it is true that many of us who menstruate will have those side effects, they should not ever be severe. If they cause you significant distress you may be struggling with something different. I found out only after my periods were stopped by testosterone that I was never supposed to suffer that much. If you may be experiencing this speak up, you aren’t alone and you have options!

[pmdd-and-it-showz]

[annemarieyeretzian]

dorian saying “I’ve never seen her out of control. what was that?” and ashton asking “you know that weird little voice in your head that sometimes tells you to fuck your entire life up, hurt everybody you know, and just toss everything out of the window? just every now and then, you get that weird little voice?” and dorian saying “sure.” in the tone of someone who has not ever had even one (1) intrusive thought and ashton saying “hers is actually a person. she’s–” and orym finishing “haunted.” and dorian saying “oh.” and ashton adding “by something that wants to hurt her, and hurt us, and is very convincing.”

[lifewithchronicpain]

She worked days as a software engineer and nights as a part-time cellist, filling her free hours with inline skating and gardening and long talks with friends. But a few days a month, Lint’s mood would tank. Panic attacks came on suddenly. Suicidal thoughts did, too.

She had been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but Lint, 34, who splits her time between St. Petersburg, Florida, and Tulsa, Oklahoma, struggled to understand her experience, a rift so extreme she felt like two different people.

“When I felt better, it was like I was looking back at the experience of someone else, and that was incredibly confusing,” Lint said.

Then, in 2022, clarity pierced through. Her symptoms, she realized, were cyclical. Lint recognized a pattern in something her doctors hadn’t considered: her period. (Read more at link)

I have this, it’s why I’m on the depo shot. I don’t get my period and therefore I do not get suicidal thoughts before it. Please talk to your doctor or gynecologist if this sounds like you.

[e-mptyflowerfields]

I’m so tired of my own emotions

[youarealwaysenough]

Pmdd sucks ass because how are you gonna tell people "my period makes me want to kill myself" and you're not joking

[riddlingabout]

where's my energy

who stole it?

[biteofboredom]

Intro post

he/they gay idk my name yet call me whatever

mentally ill! woo! (sarcasm). i talk about it on here. if you don't want to read it, i recommend not scrolling through my blog.

binge ed safe space bc lord knows there aren't enough of those in the world

not bothering with a dni list because they never stop anybody, but don't be a bigot. i like an argument and am not afraid to hit you with a reasonable point of view.

[solitaireships]

I remembered Plushie Dreadfuls exist and lowkey I want these

[macabrecravings]

how do people with periods do anything. how do you guys go to work. do you guys not hurt so excruciatingly bad that ur immobile for a few days. yall just power thru???

this is going to be tmi but like my main premenstrual symptoms are sh urges 😀 ??? i could be mentally well, living my best life and then suddenly im Spiraling and irritated and depressed and i have no idea why until a week or a few days later and im like ouhhhhh . ya. period...

whats up with that!!!!!!!! And does anyone else??? get it ???? i always feel so weird talking about menstruation cause nobody ever talks about it and i feel so lonely sometimes LMAO i feel like my experiences are not normal even tho like So much of the population experiences it ? but not to the degree i do? idk if im just dramatic or ??

[lonelyandlostintime]

No one ever exceeds or breaks my expectations.. all I get is disappointment, I never learn.

[nowthatyourehere]

Almost every month, for the last 7 years-a giant rain cloud casts a dark shadow on my reality

Almost every month, for the last 7 years-a giant rain cloud casts a dark shadow on my reality. The way that I perceive this world, and react to this world is then filtered through it.

And yet each month, nothing about my reality really changes, just my perception of it.

I know now that what I was experiencing all this time was called PMDD. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Essentially, 10 days before my period I deal with a depressive episode, ruminating thoughts, and more. 

It’s rough. 

Before I moved to NYC, I remember convincing myself that my new home was the solution to all my sadness. I’d eventually find myself crying on the Q train more times that I can count. 

My (the) mind is like a home - my only constant. I take it everywhere I go, and it’s the longest place I’ll live in, in this lifetime - and it’s through this home that I experience the world. 

And thoughts can be like people showing up to my house like uninvited guests. Except they don’t even knock, they just barge in.  And month after month, after month -- turned years, I was letting people walk in. 

Letting them tell me that the “people around will leave me,” to look for clues and proof in my history that fact, telling me that I’m not good enough.

Telling me that who I am, as I am, is not enough. I let them walk all over me. 

But, we are not our thoughts.

I began to build my own meditation practice, and eventually joined a meditation teacher training to force myself. The FIRST thing it took away from me immediately was my ability to say that I had nothing left to TRY. That is always the case. Perspective is plentiful, and it is everything. 

Through that chapter of effort, it gave me 1) the power of personal responsibility. 2) Hope, and the ability to reflect on the belief that change is possible. 3) Possibility. 

Those thoughts still come walking in. In fact, I’m in that 10 day period. But today, they’re coming through my door a little less sure of themselves. But now I have the power, awareness, and practice to address them in a way that works better for me. I can look past them, or inside of their eyes, and see that they just needed a little bit more love. 

We all deserve to have a safe space in our minds. So try, as much as you need to try. Somewhere. Somehow. It all counts for something, and builds up along the way. 

You wouldn’t expect a flower to bloom in one day, so don’t pull up a chair in frustration waiting on yours. Water it, care for it, live your life, when you drop the ball, wake up the next day and pick it up. It’s all about the return. Never let anything or anyone take your hope away. 

[lllostgirlll]

gotta be honest my depression has only gotten worse and has not let up for like two months wow new record