#plus its been planned out for like
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Guys I wanna finish writing lady and the vamp so bad but the autism says I need to meet my writing goal for this month first before I can
#Idk if anyone actually pays attention to what im writing but dude#i have ideas for lady and the vamp#plus its been planned out for like#actually so long#like wtf why am i not on this shit#anyhoo#writer#oc#atobab#klara mayford#a tale of booze & bloodshed#creative writing#novel writing#writing blog#writing community#writing on tumblr#writing#writeblr#writing life#on writing#nanowrimo#steven mayford
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FINALLY I DRAW SOMETHING!!!!!!!
some Joseph, both young (around 1980 i'd say, when he was traveling w Stan a few years before the portal incident) and old (~2017, now an art teacher at Westchester High). i like to think the first one is a picture Stan took of him while they were traveling and the second one is his staff photo at WH. the more things change the more they stay the same. i might give em backgrounds and foregrounds to look like that
he's had that jacket since the 70s. real leather will last you.
no glasses alts + the first sketch below
#[holding him in my hands like a tiny baby bird]#idk if hes hiding something on his neck. he might be. those neck covers just happened. probably less embarrassing than Ford's tattoos thoug#also im not super interested in “what if Stan had a romance partner who helped him run the shack” type Stan/oc buuuuuuuut#unfortunately i am not immune to old man yaoi and have been thinking “ok BUT what if Jojo helped Stan run the shack” during this rewatch#i think theyre not super open about their relationship so Dipper & Mabel have no idea until the manotaur ep when Mabel realizes “woah......#“Grunkle Stan do you have a crush on Grunkle Jojo???”#[Joseph so called Grunkle Jojo bc “we've known each other long enough hes basically family”]#anyway Mabel tries to “fix Stan up” to help him ask him out & Jojo is fully aware its happening and says nothing bc Funny#they do tell her and Dipper at the end of the day bc since she went through all that trouble trying to set em up they should know#plus kids these days tend to be a lot nicer about gay people sometimes#also good: Jojo giving Stan A Look every time he's shitty or sexist but otherwise not caring about any other morally dubious/bad thing#like Jojo can excuse regular tax fraud/stealing/scamming people but he draws the line at almost getting Waddles eaten by a dinosaur#hes the worlds most “not my circus not my monkeys” moral compass#hes said that before. and Dipper points out that it IS his circus bc he helps run the shack#to which he responds “hah. yeah :)” bc he helps do the fraud and scams <3#fuck i have to draw that as a comic or fake screenshots or something#anyway im not planning on focusing on a Mr's Mysteries AU but i may talk about it occasionally#ANYWAY ANYWAY i wanna talk about him i love talking about him send some asks let me talk about him <3#oc: Joseph van Dyke
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A hero is only as good as his weapons, so make ‘em count (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Another idea smol and I are working on together :D Been a bit!#She came up with the concept on this one and I fell in love with it <3 She's very cool hehe#If you're familiar with the game Minit it has Something of a similar premise - not the same strict time pressure but yes on the time loop#Y'ever notice how in some games it seems like the wandering trader or traveling shop seems to come upon you rather than the other way around#:3c Hm ♪ Wonder how they'd know where you were gonna be :3c#The crux is that you play as the weapons shop owner and you're responsible for supplying the hero and his team with weapons!#Except the BBEG has gotten wise to how the hero keeps defeating him and it sick of it - so the shop owner is cursed to be in a time loop!#I love the concept <3 It sounds so fun to play in and there's still plenty of room to think about the mechanics and how it would be played#As well as the art design! :D#We threw around some character concepts - she's really into Baldur's Gate 3 at the moment so of course they had some influence in hers hehe#Only got the starting party for the moment but there are plans for a full team of 4 plus the shopkeep >:3c And various other NPCs lol#A lot of the gameplay would basically boil down to being a bartering simulator hehe ♪#Very RPG trade-this-for-that style quests - under a time limit! Hehe#Since it's the type of game that pretty much requires replaying sections time-loop-style it's all about how quickly you can trial and error#And then hightail it to where you need to be lol#I think we were also tossing around a nap mechanic to skip right to the time loop reset in case you mess up a run haha#I gotta get back to Majora's Mask at some point I swear#We still have a good bit of concept work to do on the art side of things - she's also been really into pixel art lately and I love pixel art#I also managed to pick up a full release of one of the RPGMakers :D So that's an exciting possibility!#I haven't learned most of its ins and outs yet but I do know About importing custom assets at the very least >:3c#Same with Novelty and I haven't done that yet either lol - all in due time! I hope!!
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thinking about all the inboxes i’ve gotten but not yet gotten around to reply to pls i swear i’m not ignoring y’all i’m just waiting to get around to them IM JUST A GIRL
#this is mostly about the song analyses#like i swear im still planning to do them#but since the EUROS started i’ve been basically glued to the tv#plus i had to deal w my thesis which is hopefully done now tho#and someone asked me what i think of what the tojans are majoring in#and i promise im getting around to that too#its in the drafts i just have to work it out#so yeah
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pressed bc was on my run today such a perfect day having a great time nice and easy but my HR was high enough that i actually started feeling it and was feeling so off that i stopped at 4 and walked the rest of the way home.... I probably overdid it a little bit yesterday (run + bike) given i did run a half at probably 85% effort on saturday and the marathon 2.5weeks ago but rlly I've been feeling totally fine!!!! but i also don't rlly want to mess up my recovery or comeback or whatever so obvi good to take it easy.... Anyway I'm gonna go rake leaves to appreciate the fall weather but everyone just know i am IRRITATED BY THIS!!!!!!! I just wanna run around!!!!!!!!!!
#it's not like im trying to do speedwork or anything#Ok also can I say I don't understand when ppl r like. U should do most of ur training in z2#If i ran most of my miles in z2 I would be bored out of my fucking skull and also running soooo slow#I think my HR zones have always been like. A little bit high tho. Idk I don't do HR training and I know watches have drift#Tetrapod runs#I said I'd chillax on the running blogging post marathon but now im like well I might register for this one next June#Which means I gotta figure out my offseason plan bc i really do not feel diminished desire to run LOL I want to run MORE!!!!!!#But anyway might start doing plates at the y.... Might try and swim a little more bc i liked that for my tri#Hope we get proper snow this winter so I can XC SKI!!!!#also for the record i took 8 days no running post marathon then like ran 2x the week before half#And then 4mi day before half then half#And since then I've taken 2 days off and 3 days ET....#Idk in my head I was like oh I'm kinda trying to reverse the taper in terms of mileage#But gotta be chiller than that....its just how I feel.....#Also tbf i kinda want my base daily mileage to be 5 not 3 so I don't rlly want to drop down to running 3s like I was.... A year n change ag#Oh my other guess is slight dehydration#My mom might say I'm not eating enough but I am eating like the same as always and proper fueling has never rlly been an issue#So i don't think its that..... Probably a lil dehydrated and then still race recovery#Ah. The body. on the plus side this pair of jeans I love fits way better than they ever have before
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Anyway needless to say, college is showing me a whole slew of people who are using laptops in school for the first time and they're so bad at it. They're so bad at taking notes too. They're so bad at everything
#im a hater today but its helping. ill get a caramel shortcake and thatll help more#ANYWAY STOP TAKING DOWN THE TEXT ON THE POWERPOINTS VERBATIM!!!!!!!!#THEYRE UP ON CANVAS PAY ATTENTION TO THE LECTURER INSTEAD!!!#(im haterposting instead of listening but im keeping an ear out. theyre defining bildungsromans rn)#their typing speeds are so slow and for most i would assume its inexperience#in which case i ask why are you switching to a laptop instead of using a notebook!!!!!#plus they mistreat their laptops so badly. so full of bloatware. some of them are even mac users#(honestly idk that much abt macs specifically. maybe theyre gr8. but i hate and kill apple)#give your laptops to me ill treat them right.... ill feed them ill clean up after them....#and you just know that tech disasters are gonna befall so many of them bcos tech skills are on a downslope#like i dont look it bcos i tote around the same 2 notebooks and take like 3 bullet points max of notes per lecture#but ive been using a laptop for school going on 7 years i know my shit!!!#and theyre heavy to carry around and generally only worth it if you plan on doing a LOT of typing#which for ordinary lectures im not!!!! im not taking down every word on the powerpoint like a dipshit!!!#if i bring my laptop im either planning on writing some essay shit or not paying attention during class#anyway thats my little rant. its alright im allowed
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Where else am I gonna rant if not to a group of random strangers that barely know me, right? So ofc I'm gonna rant here cuz these people have no idea who tf I am.
....turns out I have no words to explain how I'm feeling right now so I offer this emoji instead: 😔
#so i went to this 18th birthday aka debut of my friend and tbh its the first debut ive ever been to and i was rly looking forward to it#plan was to enjoy with my friends and all and i was also planning to get some ideas for my own debut whoch is two weeks after hers#tbh my debut is the bday that ive been looking forward to for basically my whole life cuz the other important ages i did absolutely nothing#for my first bday i was literally in the hospital so nothing there. in my seventh bday i cant even remember what happened. we went swimming?#so the 18th is what i always dreamt of. ive already told my moms this a couple hundred times and ive already thought out how i want it to go#then at the party i observed everything and i realized a lot of things. firstly that shit is expensive. while we used to have the money#no we dont and thats all just in the past now. second thing which i find the most disturbing is the amount of people#the debutante invites the special people in their life and while yes i do have those i dont think they can even reach the proper number#and also i rly cant see myself in that position yknow? being the center of atteaction with people telling you nice stuff abt how they like u#so thats made me quite sad that the bday ive always wanted is never gonna be mine. my biggest TOTGA...#at this point i just wanna spend my whole 18th wallowing in self pity and sadness. while i know my friends love me i dont rly think they#love me to the point of throwing me a lil party of our own like we did earlier this year to ine of our friends. im the spare friend i guess#and plus when i got home my paretns arent even talking to me or looking my way if not scolding me or getting mad at me#well IM SORRY i also didnt want to get stuck in the fckin road for A WHOLE HOUR while waiting for a ride home#and IM SORRY that im just wearing jeans to a debut. this is my frist fucking time going to a debut so how tf would i know???#plus a lot of people were just wearing casual so wtf 😒#all in all im sad and i want to go die
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im getting better at painting with color variation and with less reliance on my sketch which is something ive been wanting to really work on for a while. thank you vash
(alts and process under the cut)
#my art#digital painting#timelapse#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#csp#looking at this again a few hours after finishing it i found things i didnt like but for how fast i did it? and how far i got? hell yeah#this could be it. this could be the year when it all clicks and im just like slamming out piece after piece and theyre like. Finished#i plan to do a bunch of gesture drawing soon bc i have Definitely been drawing a lot of heads in a void but you know? im gonna take it slow#anyways fun fact: the coat was not originally in the plans#when i started blocking in colors i just had the shirt in mind. i threw the coat in later basically just because 'why not'#plus its fun to shade for. i love putting some blue in the green <- thought tristamp vash's eyes were green for much too long
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Im a pent-up ball of pure stress and restlessness (like chest-tight and heart pounding type of stress) and I have 0 idea what to do with myself, because anytime I want to try and go distract myself with Something my anxiety spikes and my brain goes "!!! NO!!! DANGER!!! LOOK OUT FOR DANGER!!!" so I guess I'll just spend the day pacing the house and refreshing the same 3 pages on repeat, huh...
#personal#Raksh posts#tomorrow I'll know if I got back into uni#so that's the culprit#but I also have no way of assuaging it so fuck me I guess 😩#and depending on if I do or dont get in#its either gonna be a full on depressed crying or a crazy busy next week#plus so much has been happening all around#I finished my internship last friday#we found out our doggo is sick and we're going with her to a vet cardiologist next friday#my younger cousin Ive always been quite close with came to visit with her boyfriend and announced yesterday they got engaged#my bro today said he's planning to marry next year#Im trying not to let my crippling loneliness take me over#it's kinda a lot when all put together 🙈#I thought maybe I could finish typing up what I have of my recent vegaspete AU#its a super indulgent time travel a/b/o shifterd thingy with outsider pov - Nops in this first part#and so I could maybe have something to finally post sometime soon and motivate me to write some more#but I can't focus on that#Ive also thought of maybe gaming a bit#Id actually like to check out Cyberpunk with this new 2.0 update#but again it feels like anytime I try to occupy myself with something my brain goes into alarm mode ughhh#this stressing business is so useless and unproductive why isnt there a switch to it I could just flip and turn it off??#ughhhhh anyway#Im just venting dont mind me#hoped putting it down in some way shape or form would help but will it work? prob not 😂😪#vent#rant
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redyed my hair and i feel SO much more like myself :''''^)
#lore loops#i haven't had the spoons to do it esp in the last month or so :'^)#but i did it!!#i even dyed a lil chunk of my incredibly grown out bangs blonde i am very happy w it!!!#ive been walking around with three inch roots and brown mids and not quite black ends like 'its fine' asd;flkj#i feel restored#also just feels good to like... Take care of myself a lil#cancer season truly has taken her toll LOL#need to lay on diluc's chest and recharge for any number of weeks thank YOU!!#but freshly dyed hair a good plan for the weekend is always a plus!!#gonna dress cute tmrw get a coffee clean my apartment and have a chill hang with some friends#feels nice :'^)
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siiiiighs. curse of everything costs money all the time
#.pdf#rd#i was actually feeling excited to start putting some work into my aquarium hobby again after a year and a half of feeling too demoralized#(because of june 2022 when my air conditioner went out while i was away from home for a few days and i came back to 95 degree tanks-#-and a total loss of all the fish i had in them for no reason at all other than the fact that the ONE TIME my ac stopped working i was away#so i lost motivation to do aquarium stuff for ages after that. and i was just getting back into it and making plans to get more supplies etc#aaaand now it looks like im going to have to push that back a long ass while! because i noticed one of my cats has a few loose teeth and i-#-dont know how long theyve been like that and while i dont have money for this i DEFINITELY dont have the money to spend thousands later if-#-its left untreated and develops into something worse#but the cheapest place near me i can find is 50 exam fee plus 275 dental base rate plus up to 250 dollars for extractions. so. fuck me#especially if thats a per tooth extraction rate. and then including costs for bloodwork and medication and shit. god.#anyway. gonna call and ask for details about their dental rates and payment options soon i guess. wish me and oolong luck#(oolong is cat)
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unfinished genderbend au things from a while ago…. yes i called gluttonybaru a bitch 😳😳😳😳 i explain the design choices in the tags…
#re:zero#natsuki subaru#rem#my art#pride if#gluttony if#sloth if#wrath if#greed if#ok ok so like so like i like the idea of having subarus hair be shorter at first bc she has been doing some Crossdressing and her hairs#been growing out. and it grows out throughout the main routes until she cuts it off for arc 7 natsumi things#and like pridebaru i see as like. either she looks like absolute garbage or she fixed herself up for that last fire scene <3 gotta look#nice during the culmination of her plans…. u see high ponytail characters tend to exude more pride for some reason??? and also i wanted to#give her a copy of emilias hairpiece.. and then theres wrath looking like a scruffy kitten (derogatory) and of course. too tired and sick#to do much with her appearance. ALSO WRATH’S SCARF IS STATED IN THE IF TO BE RED NOT YELLOW O.O#greedbaru can like. have dresses for formal occassions and stuff and wear the suit for everyday things#anddd gluttony has pigtails bc its very playful pretty childish too. if u know jinx from arcane… she and gluttony are really similar so i#wanted to get that same energy. plus long hair…. very heavy… like the TRAUMA fr!!!#i bet shaula would wanna do gluttonys hair :(((#and ok generally i think subaru looks very androgynous either way regardless of sex!!
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2023 year in review
previous years
#art review#year in review#2023 art summary#2023 art#art meme#my art#yaaa....this whole year ive been kinda dreading putting together this comp cause i feel like i havent been putting out much this year#but. i have been#its jst that i deemed 2023 would be my 'year of big projects' so i had a lot of Very Good Very Intricate Posts all within one month#[mermay designs plus making my own tail from scratch in may; lvweek+artfight in july; designing 3 outfits+7 fancy lined charas in oct]#then in the months between those i. did not have energy or time to do Impressive Art bc i was working on the Big Projects so theyde be read#i have a few Big Projects for 2024 planned but theyre in feb [good chunk finished already] and may [already working on it] so im hoping to#aybe Chill the rest of the year and specifically Have More Fun w it#cause the Stress of having to put out art 4 times a month and 1 vid a month#while also Secretly Working On Big Projects To Post All At Once hasnt been. the most enjoyable workflow fhdbghdf#oh well i like how the piece i Just Did tonight looks lineless from a distance did a new technique of Shading Over Lineart&i like it
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It's 'people asking me if I'll be having a big family dinner over Christmas, as if I don't have 8 siblings' season again
#Demon Spawn#+Extra#there are no small family dinners even just the smallest dinners that happen are 7 people including my parents#my mum has already warned me were going out for dinner with all 9 kids plus my brothers girlfriend on Christmas eve#we havent been able to show up and be seated at a restaurant since i was like 4#my boss was asking me about my christmas plans i guess as a snide aside because he didnt want to approve my leave#i didnt know how to answer cus just my siblings is a small dinner but thats still 10 people#my half brother plus partners usually plus my cousin and aunt on my dads side is a mid size dinner of 15#its if we have to see mums side that id count that as a big family dinner cus my mum is 1 of 5#but other people may have a different perspective i just have a big family to start with
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I don't generally consider myself a stickler for graphics but i think i might have to just download a ps2 emulator to play p3 bc i cannot stand the like. psp-mandated stuff like moving a cursor around instead of having 3d models to walk around and stuff. I just can't deal with it
#also its missing the ps2 swag there is Nothing on the planet more important than ps2 swag#plus i think its just been too long since i played a modern person gam eand now im just like tf do you mean i have to plan out my day#next dungeon please
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...
#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did#bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried#another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one#machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem#god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8#and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration#ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a#personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up#bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like#yayyy vacation soon ☺️#ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine#ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought#my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home#god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great#i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc#thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days#and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst#move. bc again. im barely a functional person#god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive#down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno#unrelated
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