#so the 18th is what i always dreamt of. ive already told my moms this a couple hundred times and ive already thought out how i want it to go | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

confused-spood · 1 month

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Where else am I gonna rant if not to a group of random strangers that barely know me, right? So ofc I'm gonna rant here cuz these people have no idea who tf I am.

....turns out I have no words to explain how I'm feeling right now so I offer this emoji instead: 😔

#so i went to this 18th birthday aka debut of my friend and tbh its the first debut ive ever been to and i was rly looking forward to it #plan was to enjoy with my friends and all and i was also planning to get some ideas for my own debut whoch is two weeks after hers #tbh my debut is the bday that ive been looking forward to for basically my whole life cuz the other important ages i did absolutely nothing #for my first bday i was literally in the hospital so nothing there. in my seventh bday i cant even remember what happened. we went swimming?#so the 18th is what i always dreamt of. ive already told my moms this a couple hundred times and ive already thought out how i want it to go #then at the party i observed everything and i realized a lot of things. firstly that shit is expensive. while we used to have the money #no we dont and thats all just in the past now. second thing which i find the most disturbing is the amount of people #the debutante invites the special people in their life and while yes i do have those i dont think they can even reach the proper number #and also i rly cant see myself in that position yknow? being the center of atteaction with people telling you nice stuff abt how they like u #so thats made me quite sad that the bday ive always wanted is never gonna be mine. my biggest TOTGA...#at this point i just wanna spend my whole 18th wallowing in self pity and sadness. while i know my friends love me i dont rly think they #love me to the point of throwing me a lil party of our own like we did earlier this year to ine of our friends. im the spare friend i guess #and plus when i got home my paretns arent even talking to me or looking my way if not scolding me or getting mad at me #well IM SORRY i also didnt want to get stuck in the fckin road for A WHOLE HOUR while waiting for a ride home #and IM SORRY that im just wearing jeans to a debut. this is my frist fucking time going to a debut so how tf would i know???#plus a lot of people were just wearing casual so wtf 😒#all in all im sad and i want to go die

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