#i was actually feeling excited to start putting some work into my aquarium hobby again after a year and a half of feeling too demoralized

[databent]

siiiiighs. curse of everything costs money all the time

[ayellowcurtain]

could you pls write Kieu accidentally stumbling upon Fatou’s workplace and them kind of recreating Romeo&Juliet aquarium scene (also would be nice if finally explained her behavior and apologized for ghosting her).

Kieu My is running out of time and options. She knows she made several terrible mistakes not only about Fatou but with her friends too, with Ava, letting Constantin and Ismail say whatever they felt was funny and still be their friend. And she’s trying but Fatou won��t give her half a chance after everything that happened. 

They spent a lot of time together the past few weeks, studying and making their presentation but it was always very formal and cold, with no place for small talk, and it wasn’t for the lack of trying on Kieu My’s part. Fatou barely looked at her and Kieu My wanted to leave and cry hiding somewhere where nobody would see. It’s hard to explain what the fuck is wrong with her even for herself, so it’s impossible to explain it to Fatou. 

She decided to talk to Ava first, it sounded so much easier right now. The situation presented itself when she was at their place and Zoe was arguing again with Finn over the phone, quickly leaving her lunch behind to go hide in her room to finish the conversation, leaving Kieu My alone with Ava in the kitchen, finishing their lunch, Kieu My more like playing with her food than eating, too worried about whatever is happening between her and Fatou. In between all the mess that is her head, she’s sure she just wants Fatou to like her, to talk to her again. 

“I’m sorry.” She blurted out when the silence started to make her more anxious, looking at Ava over her long lashes. 

Ava lifted her eyebrows as high as they could go, shrugging a little. 

“What?” 

“About what happened last year. I was horrible to you, was too happy to be praised by the boys, and the cool kids and I was mean to you when I shouldn’t. So I’m really, really sorry. I know it doesn’t erase the stupid things I did or said, but I think it’s a way to start.” 

It wasn’t enough, obviously, and Ava wasn’t impressed with her either, but she felt good saying sorry. It was in the back of her mind for so long, especially now that they’re spending more time together even if they don’t mean to. 

“Okay...” She nodded her head, trying to move on with the conversation rather than actually to start any type of relationship between them. Kieu My assumed her behavior had a lot to do with Fatou too, “You know I’m not Fatou, right?”

Kieu My looked at her food getting cold in her plate, feeling her cheeks heat up instantly. 

“She hates me, I get it. And I gave her reasons. But this has nothing to do with her, I promise.” Kieu My rests against the back of her chair, looking at Ava for once, trying not to feel too embarrassed or confusing, “You’re so cool, so beautiful. Even if we’re not friends, we are constantly running into each other these days and so I wanted you to know I’m trying to be better and how amazing you are even though I’m sure you don’t need me saying that, but I honestly wish I was as brave as you. I still fuck up, clearly, but...I’m a mess and I get too inside my head sometimes, deciding to keep things to myself instead of using my words, of calling people out when they’re being assholes, disrespecting you.” 

“I know someone who can get too inside their heads too so I get it.” Ava presses her lips together, nodding her head and Kieu My has to bite her lip not to ask about what to do about Fatou. 

- 

She stops outside the store looking inside, the blue hue painting everything like it’s a huge aquarium with smaller aquariums inside. There are so many things inside, but Kieu My finally finds a human, walking in between the tall shelves, mesmerized by the aquatic beings, smiling to the fishes. 

There’s no real excuse for her to be here, especially not this late - Kieu My tried to assume the hour Fatou would be almost free to go home - but she decided against all her insecurities and came anyway. 

Just tell her how you feel. About her, about everything, how stupid you are. 

Kieu My takes a few steps back, standing in front of a wall instead of a long glass window and she fixes her hair and her coat over her shoulders, taking a deep breathe in and then out before taking a bee line to the door, knowing there’ll be a bell that will reverberate her arrival. 

Fatou appears from behind one of the shelves and Kieu My looks at her, holding her own hand, pinching the soft skin of her finger with her thumb and index finger. 

“Hi...” 

Kieu My’s heart skips a beat and she tries to keep herself calm but the second she manages to whisper “Hi...” back she hears her voice breaking and she curses under her breath. 

“How can I help you?”

As she’s there, staring at Fatou, Kieu My wishes she never gave up on drawing. It was her favorite hobby growing up and she stopped when she started worrying too much about looks, about what other would think. Now she thinks about Fatou’s facial features, her face in the shape of a perfectly smooth peach, her high cheek bones, the long lashes, rounded and soft, pink lips. She would do a terrible work at trying to recreate it, but it would give her something physical to put her attention and mental notes on. 

Thinking about Fatou is not enough and that’s all she has right now since Fatou is so hurt by what she did when she was drunk and scared. 

“Hm, I came to talk to you...” Kieu My decides to walk around the place. Some distance sounds better than having Fatou’s hurt eyes staring at her, quietly asking for her to leave Fatou alone. 

She doesn’t get any answer so it’s best to just say what she came to say in hopes it’ll help Fatou understand her a little bit. 

“I don’t regret kissing you. Even though thinking about it now, I feel like I jumped you, not giving you much of a choice...so I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention, I was just extremely nervous.” 

She stops in front of one of the biggest aquariums and Fatou is on the other side, following her with her curious eyes. 

“You were the first girl I’ve ever kissed. And the only one. I had never thought about it before. I mean, I thought about it, but never thought I would actually have the courage to do it.” 

Kieu My pinches the skin of the her finger tighter, feeling so dumb and childish for stuttering so much just because she’s thinking and talking about kissing a girl that she has a big crush on. 

“I know you know this, how terrible I am with words and how confusing I am...” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Fatou finally says and Kieu My looks at her, the water moving and the blue lights making everything so dreamy and calm. She sounds soft and understanding like always and Kieu My smiles, thinking about their kiss and how happy she was that Fatou didn’t push her away. 

“But I want to. I know I was stupid and rude before and so I want to try and explain myself as best as I can.” 

“Okay...” Fatou whispers in a playful way and Kieu My continues exploring the store while Fatou stands there, watching. 

“Even though it was just one kiss I was overthinking it for days, not sure what your reaction would be. Because you said you didn’t date your friends...” 

“And we weren’t friends.” 

Kieu My stops behind a shelf filled with fish food and she closes her eyes. Of course Fatou wouldn’t think they were friends. Kieu My mistakenly thought they were while talking and watching scary movies together. And that made everything messy in her head.

“I was having a bunch of stupid...family drama and I held on to the idea of kissing you, like you being the first girl I ever kissed or have feelings for and when we were that close and I was so happy - and drunk - that we were getting to know each other...I just did it and got scared of your reaction.”

She goes around the last aisle and turns on her heels, walking back and forth three times before starting making her way to the front of the store, walking down every hallway again to buy her late night visit more time. 

“I was afraid of what you would want to talk about that night, I was afraid that you would tell Nora or Zoe. Not because I’m ashamed, but just because...I’m a mess, Fatou. And I drunkenly kissed you on New Year’s Eve of all nights. I actually thought about doing it at midnight...but that would be way too much, even for me.” 

She hears a laughter and she tries to listen to it carefully, in between the fishes swimming, searching for food on the surface and the tiny engines making the water move. 

There’s only the big aquarium between them again and Kieu My quietly bends down a little to see Fatou sitting on the counter, probably the same height as Kieu My now with her tall boots... 

“I never meant to seem that I didn’t care, that it was just a one night mistake type of thing. People always assume I’m so cool, that I always know what to do or how to say things. But that’s the complete opposite. I’m terrible at expressing myself. And I’m so afraid of being judged.” 

“You used a lot of words tonight already. Can’t believe you would be bad with them.” Kieu My stops next to the aquarium, watching Fatou with no water filter in between them, just the blue light that makes Fatou look like a dream. 

“I had a lot of days to think about what I wanted to say. And you were mad at me and I wanted to fix it.” 

Fatou nods her head, swinging her legs in the air, one sock a dark pink and the other one a burnt orange, matching her white jeans. 

“You’re forgiven.” She smiles shyly, her soft cheeks getting more rounded with her lips going up a little bit. Kieu My exhales and smiles at her too, hoping she feels the same Kieu My does when she smiles. 

“Thank you...” 

“No problem.” 

Kieu My looks down at her boots. Everything she planned to say is more or less out, but she wants another chance, she wants to spend more time with Fatou...

“Ismail told me about the turtle you guys are taking care of...” 

Fatou nods her head, a lot more excited to be talking about the child she shares with Ismail of all people. 

“Maike, yes.” 

“...Can I meet them?” She tries, putting her hands inside her pockets so Fatou doesn’t see her shaky hands. 

“You want to meet Maike?” She asks so surprised and excited and Kieu My lifts her eyebrows, nodding her head. 

“Yeah, if you’ll let me.” 

“You can meet Maike if you want...I’m hiding them in my house though...”

Kieu My thinks about going to Fatou’s house, exploring her bedroom, learning more about her by just watching how she decorates her private space, spending more time with her always sounds like the best thing ever. 

“I would love to meet them.” 

“Good! We can go after school tomorrow...” Fatou sort of asks, assuming Kieu My will say no, probably. 

“Yeah...hm, of course, I’m so excited!” 

They both laugh the awkwardness off and Kieu My moves her weight from one feet to the other, offering to help Fatou close the store tonight. 

[shibereshu]

come over — Lee Seungjoon [J-US]

<< prev | [PART 3]

this is finally the last part ! i’m a little sad to end this because i really really really enjoyed writing it !! it made me feel very happy but welp !! maybe that means i should write more often- i’ll try my best sjfndsj i really liked this part and with this fic i reached my goal of writing a scenario that’s over 12k words! (the sum of the three parts is over 13k) i’m proud of myself for writing so much. i hope you guys like this !!

You walked out of your dorm and locked the door. It still felt a little weird not to have to say bye to your roommate when you were going to go out, to not hear her tell you to take care and have fun with that especially excited voice when the reason you were leaving was to go on a date with Seungjoon. She, as well as most of your friends, had gone back to her hometown to spend a few weeks with her family now that it was summer break. You wouldn’t be going back to yours in a while, but it wasn’t all that bad. At least you had Seungjoon to be with if you ever felt lonely. He had offered for you to stay over at his dorm quite a few times instead of staying alone at yours, but you had always kindly rejected it, for no specific reason. Actually, being alone sometimes was very peaceful and, as mentioned before, you could still have him or even Joochan to turn to if you wanted to spend time with someone.

You were enjoying the beginning of your summer break, getting to spend time on all your hobbies, on resting, on going to the places you really liked, on going to those same places you really liked with the person you really liked… Summer was treating you nicely and you hoped it’d stay that way. You actually had big hopes for it; an unforgettable summer full of experiences that in the future you’d get to reminisce about with a smile on your face.

You heard a door closing near you, and looking to your right you saw Seungjoon near the end of the hallway, walking away from the door of his own dorm and towards yours while looking down to his phone. He probably didn’t see you were already there. You held in a giggle and waited silently for him to get closer, and once he was a few steps away, you let out a loud “Boo!”. He let out a short high-pitched scream and almost let his phone slip from his hand from the fright. He looked at you with a shocked expression, still getting over the scare and you laughed. When he processed everything and realised you had been there all along and tried -successfully- to scare him, he whined and even pouted a little. 

—”You’re mean to me…” —He complained, although you knew he didn’t mean it and he was exaggerating it so that you would compensate it.— “Back when we went to the aquarium too, you kept laughing when I got scared of that one video of the shark breaking the glass…” —You almost laughed again when you remembered that scene, but instead decided to take the last two steps to him and wrap your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly.

—”I’m sorry…” —You said, trying to sound apologetic enough even though the smile was quite obvious on your face. He couldn’t stop a short laugh from slipping past his lips.— “Am I forgiven?” —Seungjoon hummed as if he was thinking about it.

—”I don’t know… I don’t know how sincere your apology is.” —You scoffed and then laughed before pulling away a little, enough to be able to place a kiss on his cheek. Then, you pressed yourself closer to him again, resting your head on his shoulder to hide your face on the crook of his neck. You were a little embarrassed about it, about how cheesy Seungjoon was and how cheesy he made you be, yet at the same time you were also a little happy because he made you happy.— “Okay, I forgive you.” —

You two pulled away and then he naturally reached to hold your hand before the two of you started making your way to where the two of you would have a little date that day.  The day of your first date, you had felt like the way your hands fit with each other’s was made to be, but you were still a little scared sometimes that you would blink and open your eyes to find out it had all been a beautiful dream, that the way he expressed his feelings to you just through the look in his eyes or the memory of his lips on yours on your first date had all never happened in reality. As if it was all too good to be true.

This time you would be going to a water park. Kee and Joochan had wanted to go too, but Kee couldn’t because she wouldn’t be back on time from the few days she’d be visiting her family. That’s why Joochan decided to stay home and go on another occasion with her, no matter how much both you and Seungjoon had insisted that it was okay for him to come.

You two had to walk to the bus stop since the waterpark was around the outskirts of the city. The ride was over 20 minutes long, and for the first half the bus was really crowded and the two of you had to stand up. Even if you were holding onto the safety handle, Seungjoon kept arm loosely wrapped around your waist to make sure he could catch you if something like a sharp curve made you lose your balance. After some people got down you two could finally seat down.

When you got there you saw there wasn’t a lot of people in queue despite it being early and a very hot summer day. You wondered if there just wouldn’t be a lot of people at the park or if maybe they were mostly inside already. You didn’t really mind either, but a good amount of people would make a good ambient. While you waited on line to reach the ticket booth you noticed that you could actually hear the noise of the crowd inside but it came from far enough for you to not have noticed it earlier. When you could finally go in, you and Seungjoon made your way to the changing rooms to put on your swimwear and you met again outside. 

—”Now we need to find a locker to put our stuff in.” — He said, and started walking around to look for one. You quickly found it and put your stuff in it, locking it and taking the key. It had a wristband so Seungjoon secured it on his wrist.

When you finally walked into the park itself, the two of you showed your shock at seeing just how big it was, sharing one long gasp. You didn’t expect it to be so impressive but seeing all those different kinds and heights of slides made the both of you super excited to try them all.

—”Which one do you want to try first?” —Seungjoon turned to look at you, but your eyes kept going from one point of the park to another considering all your choices. After a few seconds, you pointed to one of the slides. It seemed to be the highest one in the park and even from the entrance you two could see that there was a bit of queue to get on it.

—”Can we go on that one first?” —He laughed, almost sounding somewhat nervous.

—”So you wanna start strong, I see.” —You were about to say that you could try something else first if he prefered, or to just not go on that one if he happened to be afraid of it or something, but he started walking towards it.— “Aren’t you scared? It’s so high!” —

—”Hmm, somehow I’m not.” —You were actually a little surprised at yourself because extreme heights could be quite scary for you sometimes, yet somehow this didn’t feel dangerous enough to trigger any fear.

Seungjoon teasingly complimented how brave you were and you just laughed. By the time you got to the end of the queue, it had moved quite a bit from where it had been when you first looked it at it so you were not at the first step of the long stairs leading to the top of the slide. You’d probably be there for at least a few more minutes.

—”It’s so hot today.” —Seungjoon nodded and let out a sigh.

—”I hope the queue moves first so we can finally get on the slide and get on the pool.” —You agreed with him and looked up again. The closer you got to look at it, the higher it looked. Maybe you would get a little scared when you were at the very top, but you still hoped you wouldn’t.

—”I think we should have brought some sunscreen.” —You tried to distract yourself from your own thoughts, and it worked. 

In fact, there was something that distracted you even better. Or should you say, someone.

—”Oh, right! I did bring it! But it’s in my bag, should we go get it now?” —You shook your head and were about to tell him that you might as well just wait, get on the slide at this point and then go get it. Looking behind the two of you, more people were coming so you didn’t want to go to the very end of the queue again and you were sure nothing would happen if you made it wait a few more minutes.

But before you could, the people in the step right in front and above yours turned around. They were two girls, and one smiled as she looked at Seungjoon and didn’t even spare you a glance, as if she didn’t even notice you were there.

—”Seungjoon? I thought I heard you, but what a surprise! What a coincidence that we’d bump into each other here!” —

You looked at the girl and then back at Seungjoon. He looked at you from the corner of his eye before responding to her and it was then that the girl finally took a look at you for a second, but she didn’t say anything.

—”Oh, yeah. How have you been?” —He asked politely. You knew a few of Seungjoon’s friends yet had never seen or heard of her, and that plus the tone of cordiality he was using made you assume it was someone that wasn’t as close to him as she pretended to be with her friendly way of speaking.

—”I’m good, but I must admit that seeing you here made my day even better~” —Your eyes widened a little at her words. Seungjoon didn’t say anything, but he looked like he just didn’t even know what to respond because he wasn’t expecting to hear that. The girl didn’t let the silence be prolonged for much longer before she spoke up again.— “How did you do in the exams?” —

—”They went well, I actually managed to pass everything. And you?” —

You bit your bottom lip to stay quiet, although you didn’t even have anything to say. She was probably her classmate and you weren’t going to interrupt his conversation. Yet when she spoke again, you looked back at her with your mouth slightly agape. 

—”As expected of you! You’re so smart, I’m jealous! I actually failed a few subjects… But maybe you could… help me? I’m sure if you tutor me I’ll pass~ And of course, I would reward you for it…” —No one said anything, and you weren’t even looking at them, only lifting your head when she mentioned your presence.— “You’re not his girlfriend, right? So you won’t mind if Seungjoon helps me, right?” —

You looked at Seungjoon, then back at the girl -who for a second you thought was smirking at you along with her friend next to her- then back at him. You were starting to feel pretty uncomfortable, but it was clear that it was even worse for Seungjoon, yet the girl didn’t seem to catch the hint. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, the person in charge of this slide and who managed the queue when people reached the top spoke first, his voice loud to make himself heard.

—”The next two, you can go down now!” —

The girl looked like she still wanted to say something, and in the back of your head there were faint orders telling you to say something as well, but you could never. You didn’t know what you could say, or how to do it without sounding like you were overreacting and looking to start a fight. You let out of sigh of relief when the two girls had to go down the slide and so did Seungjoon. This time he wanted to say something to you, but he was interrupted once again before he could even start talking.

—”Okay, next two!” —You gave Seungjoon a small smile to let him know everything was okay and muttered a ‘let’s go’ before going up the last step and positioning yourselves on the two of the two slides. 

He smiled back at you and the both of you looked down before finally laying back and letting yourselves slide down. With your eyes closed, you could hear even better Seungjoon’s loud voice as he screamed from the high speed at which you were sliding down, and you tried your best not to open your mouth to laugh because you didn’t know how close you were to the pool and you were sure you’d get water in your mouth if you did.

It lasted for around six seconds, and it felt so long yet so short. It was a lot of fun and if it wasn’t for the experience of having to wait all over again plus the fact that the girl had made the wait uncomfortable, and the fact that there were many more slides to try, you’d go up on it again.

When you finally resurfaced and wiped the water away from your eyes before opening them, you looked for Seungjoon. He wasn’t in front of you, or next to you, or behind you. You couldn’t even see him in the pool and it was impossible that he already got out of it.

You were about to call his name, when you felt something grab your foot and pull you down and back into the water, with less than a second for you to close your mouth and your eyes again. It quickly let go of you and you put your head out of the water as soon as you could, breathing the air you didn’t manage to take in before you were pulled in.

You heard Seungjoon laughing next to you and you gasped, still recovering from the fright.

—”Seungjoon, I get it, I’m sorry for laughing every time you get scared, but we should stop before one of us gets a hard attack.” —He laughed even harder and you couldn’t help but join him.

—”I hope you mean it and you don’t scare me again!” —He jokingly threatened once he stopped laughing, and then he looked around. Going silent, he pointed towards the edge of the pool closest to the two of you and started swimming towards it. You were a little confused, but you followed him.

The two of you got out from the pool and he grabbed your hand before walking away with quick steps. You saw him look back one more time and so you followed his gaze. It was then that you saw that one classmate of his again, looking around -probably looking for Seungjoon- and her friend as well. 

Once the two of you were far enough from that area, you stopped and stood under the shade of one of the many beach umbrellas around the park. You were still trying to recover your breath from the slide, from Seungjoon trying to scare you to death and from almost running away from the girl that didn’t know the difference of an acquaintance and a friend and especially someone that wasn’t interested in her.

—”I’m sorry about what happened back there.” —You tilted your head slightly, not understanding why he was apologising to you.— “I didn’t know that she…” —He didn’t finish the sentence, and you knew Seungjoon enough to know that he didn’t do it because he felt it would sound cocky if he assumed that the girl liked him even if it was pretty obvious.— “She’s in a few of my classes but we haven’t really talked before? So I wasn’t expecting that, I’m sorry I didn’t tell her no right away.” —

You tightened the hold on his hand that was still holding yours and let out a giggle.

—”You don’t need to be sorry. I was also speechless. And I think even if you had tried to, she wouldn’t have let you talk, seeing how she just couldn’t stay quiet.” —Seungjoon responded that you were right and then looked at the other slides around you. 

In front of the two of you, there was one that was covered contrary to how most of them were open-air, and had quite a few curves. You saw that the people coming out of it would always be two people, sitting on a big yellow floatie that had to spaces on it for both of them to use. 

—”Do you wanna try that one?” —Seungjoon asked, and you nodded excitedly.

—”Yes! It looks fun!” —You took a step forward still holding his hand, but he didn’t move from his spot. You looked at him with curious eyes and he smiled gently before leaning in to peck your lips. You froze for a second, not expecting the sudden affection, but you giggled and didn’t say anything else. Then, the both of you made your way to the next slide.

Both of you were slowly starting to feel a little worn out, as if you had already spent most of your energy in the few hours you had been there. However, the two of you didn’t want to leave yet so you decided to just rest a little bit.

—”Oh! We forgot!” —Seungjoon suddenly exclaimed, and you tilted your head slightly in confusion, asking him what he meant.— “The sunscreen! We said we’d go get it after the first slide, but in the end we forgot.” —You let out a little gasp but then laughed. How could you two be so forgetful?

Well, probably that one girl helped you two get distracted, although it wasn’t completely fair to fully blame it on her, since you were sure your excitement to just have fun also added to it. Seungjoon grasped your hand for  a second and looked around, probably to try and locate himself to know where he had to go to get to the lockers, although it was probably a little too late to apply the sunscreen, so in the end both of you decided not to go get it. You tried to speak up but your voice didn’t come out. You laughed at yourself for a second and licked your lips slightly to wet them. Your mouth was too dry.

—”Ah, I’m a little thirsty.” —You admitted, and Seungjoon looked back at you before saying that he too was feeling his throat a little too dry.

—”I’ll go buy us some drinks, okay?” —You nodded and then he squeezed your hand softly before he let go of it, walking away. 

You watched as he got further and further away, and then walked closer to the edge of the nearest pool, sitting down on the edge and putting your feet in the water. The weather was so hot that even this wasn’t enough, so you got down and into the pool. You rested your forearms on the edge and then your head on top of them. You let out a deep sigh, feeling a little suffocated from the heat.

Looking in the direction Seungjoon had left, you couldn’t even see him anymore. Then, you heard the sound of the water waving (more than it was natural) next to you, and you looked to your right only to see a guy that you couldn’t recognise approaching you. You were pretty sure you had never seen him before. You took a quick look around you again, wondering if he was with someone and he was just swimming by, but when you looked back at him, he was just standing there next to you, a smile painted on his lips before he separated them to speak up.

—”Hey, did your friends leave you alone? How mean of them...” —He asked casually, and you cringed a little, immediately being able to tell what his intentions were.

Still, you started feeling pretty uncomfortable as he took a step closer to you in the pool, the water pushing against you. You swallowed and your throat felt dry again, probably not enough not to be able to talk, but still you couldn’t even bring yourself to say anything for a few seconds longer than you would have wanted to.

—”I- I’m actually here with…” —The guy raised his eyebrows, and you cursed yourself internally for even worrying about referring to Seungjoon as your boyfriend out loud for the first time, even when the two of you had never given that label to yourselves. You cleared your throat and then spoke up as confidently as you could. — “I’m here with my boyfriend.” —

You assumed he’d just give up and leave you alone after that, but he just let out a laugh which quickly seemed to blow away a lot of your courage.

—”Is that so? Then what a good boyfriend he is, leaving you alone like this!” —He exclaimed, the sarcasm obvious in his voice.— ”Why don’t you come with me? Let’s have fun while you wait for him.” —

You took a couple of steps back, which then he’d proceed to take forward so the distance between you two was never really reduced. Taking a deep breath, you spoke up again, raising your voice.

—”No.” —You said, frowning. The stranger seemed a little surprised at the rejection, since you had seemed so shy and almost somewhat scared before. Truth is, you were feeling a little anxious and afraid about not being able to make him go away. You didn’t even wish for Seungjoon to get here because you didn’t want him to have to argue with anyone, especially not because someone was bothering you.

You wanted the guy to leave on his own, you wanted to make him leave yourself.

—”I’m sorry, but no. I’ll keep waiting here for my boyfriend, so you can go back to where you came from and have fun with your friends. Or did they leave you alone? How mean of them.” —You said, throwing his words back at him in the end. Once again, he seemed shocked at your words.

He looked at you, and then to his right as hurried footsteps could be heard approaching. The guy scoffed, quite clearly embarrassed and without saying anything else he quickly went away as fast as he had showed up. Once he was far enough, you let out the deep breath that you didn’t know you were holding in, and then you looked up and to your left. There was Seungjoon, who didn’t make eye contact with you for a few seconds because he was still looking at that guy, his eyebrows furrowed.

When he looked at you, his gaze immediately softened, and he gave you a small smile. You smiled back at him and got out of the pool. Seungjoon asked you which of the two drinks he had bought did you prefer, and after you chose and he handed it to you, he looked back at the pool. You followed his eyes, but you didn’t see that guy anymore.

—”I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you alone.” —When he apologised, you looked back at him, a little surprised at his words.

—”What? Don’t be sorry, you did nothing wrong. He’s the one that should apologise for not leaving straight away when I told him I was here with my… my boyfriend.” —This time, it was Seungjoon who seemed a little aback from your words, but the confused expression on his face was quickly replaced by a joyful one.

It was the second time you had referred to him using those words, but it was the first time you did it in front of him. And seeing his reaction, it made you happy too.

—”It’s the first time I’ve heard you call me your boyfriend.” —He said, apparently thinking of the same thing as you. His smile looked a little shy, but also proud at the same time. You let out a shy giggle and didn’t know what to respond, so he spoke up again.— “We’ve been going on a dates for some time now, holding hands every time, kissing too… So there’s something I wish I would have said to you before, back when we went to the aquarium on our first date.” —

You felt your cheeks heat up, probably imitating the blush adorning Seungjoon’s cheeks lightly. You knew what he wanted to say, so it wasn’t as unexpected as your fidgety heart was making it seem.

—”I like you, I’ve liked you for a long time now… And I want to be able to tell everyone that we are together.” —

You looked down at his free hand and held it with yours before looking back up at him and smiling shily, your eyes crinkling a little and lips slightly pursed from trying not to let your smile look too excited after hearing those words coming from him, to finally hear with his voice that you two felt the same way even if you already knew every time your hands linked with each other’s, every time he embraced you and you could feel your hearts beating in unison, every time his soft lips met yours and you felt yourself melting under his touch.

—”I like you too.” —You said, and he took one step closer to you.— “And from now on, we can let everyone now.” —Seungjoon nodded and the two of you laughed softly for no reason other than feeling so happy that you felt like you had to get at least some of the feeling out of your chest.

Still holding hands, the two of you walked around to find some seats to relax and drink what he had bought. While you did that, Seungjoon broke the silence.

—”When I went back to the lockers to get my wallet, I checked my phone and saw a message from Joochan.” —You looked at him as he talked, letting him know you were listening before he continued.— “He said Kee’s coming home now and will sleep over at the dorm, so I should find somewhere else to sleep.” —

You laughed at the nostalgia that the message brought back. If you closed your eyes, you could still remember vividly when your roommate did the same thing to you the day her and Seungjoon’s roommate finally started officially dating after around a month during which most people thought they together already. That day, you slept over at Seungjoon’s dorm for the first time and even if nothing happened, it felt special. After all, it was after that day that the two of you started becoming closer and closer.

—”You can come over.” —Seungjoon raised his eyebrows as he look at you.— “To my dorm.” —You continued, and then he smiled. He probably was remembering the same thing.

The two of you shared a short laugh again at the memory.

—”Thank you.” —He said, and you shook your head to tell him he didn’t need to.— “And from now on, you can also come over to my dorm whenever you want, so that we aren’t always the one being kicked out of our dorms!” —

You giggled as you nodded, and then the two of you started making plans of more things the two of you could do while you regained the energy to keep having fun before the day ended, before the two of you would go back to the dorms and he’d come over to yours.

[zodiyack]

Siren Seduction

Alternate title: Not So Bad After All

Kind of requested?: captivatedbycillianmurphy said: I’m actually a professional mermaid, it would be cool if you wrote a story about Tommy finding me by accident “in tail !” LOL🤣🧜🏻‍♀️ Siren Seduction !

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x reader

Warnings: partial nudity mention, mermaids, swearing

Note: So there are two different “Siren Seduction” stories. I didn’t know if you meant that you wanted an actual mermaid or not, so this one is x reader where he finds his human lover in a fake tail but not on accident, and then the next one is where he finds his actual mermaid lover on accident. (I know you said accident but I forgot when I was writing, hope you like it!)

ALSO! I don’t know if any of you guys have a preferred tail color, so I just went with one. Feel free to send a request with a specific color or tell me a color before I write the second version!

Y/m/n = Your Mermaid Name

masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

alternate story

Tommy ran throughout his house. Charlie was on his hip, resting his head upon his father’s shoulder. They were on a mission to find Y/n. Earlier that day, Tommy asked why she was so secretive. Y/n told Tommy that she did some stuff he would find strange and that’s why she was worried how he’d feel. He tried to reassure her, telling her that nothing she does can be weird, let alone affect his love for her.

She didn’t believe him, but she nodded and walked away. And now that Charlie and him were trying to find her, it seemed like she impossible to find.

In all truth, Pol and Ada were the only ones Y/n told of her hobbies. She put on mermaid shows for kids down at the aquarium in the zoo. They cleaned out a special tank just for her, amazed with her ability to hold her breath for 5 minutes at a time. Her trick was to move around a bit so it only seemed natural that she went up to get air.

Charlie had seen his mum once, but he couldn’t remember since he didn’t realize it was her. Polly had taken Karl and Charlie, showing them the amazing, “y/m/n” and her wonderful tail. They were amazed to say the least. Polly and Ada also thought it looked fun, and they agreed with their opinion after Y/n got them to swim with her. 

Swim suits weren’t the most flattering looking with a mermaid tail, but Y/n refused to go topless, as she worked with kids and even if she didn’t, she wasn’t too keen on other people, who were definitely not her husband, seeing her chest. So instead, she wore her underwear.

The woman’s underwear was a white top (tank-top kind of top) with a connected bottom, and the bottoms were white shorts. There were a few different kinds, some lacy, some connected on the sides rather than the whole waist, and some even had cute little frills or bows. Y/n favored her frilly looking one, for it covered more skin and still was adorable.

Her tail, clothed in semi-visible sparkles and a gorgeous baby pink that faded into teal. It was designed by the three women, and boy were they proud of it. The man who owned the aquarium continued asking Y/n to do her shows after the first one. He didn’t expect it to become so popular, the woman submerged underwater, bathed in bright colors with her hair floating around her so elegantly.

Sadly, it was time her husband found out. And that wasn’t decided by any of the girls. It was decided by Tommy himself.

He pushed through the door to the room Pol was in, not giving two shits about the company that was over. “Pol. Where’s my wife?” His tone was slightly aggressive, making his question more of a demand.

“Working.” Poor Tommy didn’t know that Y/n begged his aunt and sister not to share anything, but he did know that one of them would give in at some point.

“Y/n doesn’t work. You and I both know that. The only work she does, is with me and the boys, and I don’t see us doing any jobs currently.”

“Thomas, I have guests. Your wife is working. And if I were you, I’d take Charlie elsewhere, he looks rather bored.”

Tommy grunted. He wouldn’t accept defeat. He did have to respect that his aunt was in a meeting, she did it for him too, so there was that. Charlie and him would just have to go see Ada. Hopefully she was an easier nut to crack.

The Shelby adjusted his son onto his back, earning a delighted giggle from the young boy. If he was going to find Ada, why not entertain the “rather bored” Charlie while he’s at it? He took off running slightly, arms securing Charlie to his back.

The fun was actually fun to Tommy. He made note do it more often. Not only was the playing fun, but it warmed his heart to hear his son giggle like that. He finally set him down, holding his hand and guiding him over to the couch Ada sat on. She looked very concentrated on a photo, but quickly flipped it over and smiled at her nephew.

“Ahem, Ada.”

“Yes, Tommy? Is this about Y/n? I could hear you and Pol.” Ada lifted Charlie onto her lap after she finished her sentence. She made funny faces at him while her brother spoke.

“Yes actually. I’d like to know where my wife is, or where she is ‘working’.”

Ada’s eyes never left Charlie when she spoke, too busy making more faces to get him to laugh. “I can’t tell you anything Tom, I’m sorry.”

“You can. She’s my fucking wife, and I demand to know where the fuck she is.”

“Tom. Language.”

“Ada. Where is she?”

“Thomas. I’m serio-” She was interrupted by Charlie snatching the photo from where she had set it. He didn’t recognize the mermaid, but he knew right away that it was something from the aquarium.

“Dad! Fishy!”

“What is it Charlie?”

His sister’s eyes widened. That was Tommy’s clue. He got her. She pulled the photo from her nephew’s hands before he could show his father. It earned a hurt look from the little boy, but she was more focused on protecting the secret of her sister-in-law.

“Fine! I won’t tell you what she does or anything, but I can tell you to go to the zoo. Ask for the special show.”

Special show? Zoo? There was nothing special about the zoo. Why would she work in a zoo? Were women even allowed to work there? Tommy didn’t know because originally, he didn’t give a fuck.

“Are you absolutely sure Ada? Not just fuckin’ with me?”

“I’m sure.” she lifted Charlie and handed him to Tommy, “Charlie here’ll know it when he sees it, isn’t that right love?”

“Right!”

. . .

Tommy walked into the zoo, Charlie on his shoulders. It was a bit odd, seeing the Peaky Blinders’ leader walking around with his son in London in the zoo of all places. It also went against Tommy’s safety rule, however just this once he’d allow it to happen, only because he accompanied his son. He didn’t care that it was a family place that had security, it only was okay with Tommy if he was there with Charlie.

When asking about what Ada had instructed him to, they were told to follow someone to the special show. The person was now walking in front of them, rambling on about how amazed they thought him and his son would be.

Charlie had to get off of Tommy’s shoulders, however he did remain in his fathers arms. Tommy’s hip just seemed to be Charlie’s favorite place. Lucky for him, it was one of Tommy’s favorite places for Charlie to be, that way he would never get lost or pulled away from him.

The lights when down, the spotlights pointed at the glass, Tommy took a seat, Charlie sat on his father’s lap. It confused Tommy slightly, how excited his son was. He was so giddy and fidgety. But why? For what reason? It was just a stupid zoo.

Music played, it sounded so soft and calming. A woman appeared on the other side of the glass. Tommy recognized her within the first glance. He caught her eyes and smiled genuinely. Her hair was floating around her, decorated with shells, beads, and other similar stuff. Her face was free of any makeup besides a few gems that were stuck onto her cheeks. Her tail, it looked so magnificent, it looked as if it were real.

How could someone be dressed kind of goofy, but still looks so god damn breathtaking?

She swam around the tank, waving at children and adults. She then swam back up, but fortunately for the crowd, she came back down and continued. How did his wife learn to do this? How did she do it behind his back all this time? Those questions left Tommy’s mind as quickly as they had entered them. He became entranced with his wife’s show.

Charlie whispered into his father’s ear, “Dad? Are you enjoying Miss Y/m/n’s show? I’ve only seen her once, but I can’t wait to tell mummy I’ve seen her again!”

Another smile found it’s way onto Tommy’s face, this one full of amusement for the mermaid and for his son being completely unaware. “Yes Charlie, Y/m/n is pretty good at what she does. I’m sure mummy would love to hear about her.”

Both males attention turned back to the mermaid. A child ran over and put their hand on the glass. Their parents tried to quietly yell at them to come back, but Y/n was quite the opposite. She placed her hand over where the child’s was, smiling when the little one giggled.

She spotted Charlie again and made a beckoning motion with her finger. Y/n swam up to the surface. It was unknown to the audience, but she had asked the man in charge for a favor. She swam back down, smiling sweetly at her viewers.

The lights flicked back on.

“Y/m/n has asked a favor of me! She’d like for all the children, and adults if they’d like, to come up to the front and greet her. She can’t talk to you, but she’d love to do it in her own special way. So, if you’d like to, feel free to walk up here. Just no pushing!” The man walked back out of the room after he had finished announcing what was needed to be announced. 

The kids rushed to the front. Charlie was one of the few who managed to get into Y/n’s line of sight, Tommy behind him. This was because Y/n asked specifically that they could see her and vice versa.

She waved at Charlie, pressing her hand onto the glass. He did the same, and Y/n pressed her other hand for Tommy. The man hesitated, but did as his son had.

After a while, people started to leave. Y/n was still in the tank, having what seemed like interesting conversations with some of the kids. She preformed tricks, spins, flips and others. At some point she had blown bubbles into the water for extra fun. It resulted in her needing to go up for air sooner, but her mind, it was totally worth it.

Finally, it was only Tommy and Charlie in the audience. Y/n pressed both of her hands against the glass, removing one and blowing a kiss to Tommy. Charlie’s eyes widened. Tommy pretended to catch the kiss and blow one back. The interaction only made Charlie’s eyes wider.

“Dad! You can’t kiss Y/m/n, she’s not mum!”

Y/n heard her son, a smile appearing on her face, a matching one on Tommy’s. It wasn’t the time for Charlie to find out that she wasn’t actually a mermaid, it wasn’t time for him to find out that it was actually his mother. They both agreed, words unnecessary, that they’d tell him when he was older. No one was going to spoil his imagination while they were still there.

The manager announced that the show was over and it was time to send Y/m/n back to her home. She nodded and waved to her boys, swimming to the back of the tank, where she would be out of sight, and climbing out.

Tommy and Charlie walked out of the zoo. Tommy felt happy, his heart felt warmer and the smile he was fighting felt bigger than ever. He bought ice cream for him and Charlie, the reasoning being how good of a mood he was in.

Maybe the zoo isn’t so bad after all.

[d0ntw0rrybehappy]

i’m going insane lol

so i feel like the next step in working hard is to not even perceive the work i’m doing as tiring. (rereading this it’s making me lol.) it seems weird that i find a part time job at a restaurant this exhausting? and like i can’t pretend that i’m not tired, but i have to somehow take better care of myself and set the conditions to not be tired from it.

i’ve been thinking about baudrillard/barthes a lot still -- pleasantly surprised that their theories are interesting to apply to any- and everything. for example, they both go into how every statement can also be read as its opposite or negation. so, to quote baudrillard, saying “i am not afraid of communism” also implies that communism is something you should be afraid of.

i’ve been using this as a kind of paranoid way to gain insight into why people tell me that i am “strong” because i don’t really know what that means. (other things i am told i am often: sweet, intense). it’s like what they’re saying is, there’s some kind of context, a milieu of weak people i’m being compared to. or like they want to reassure me that i am strong, because i actually come across as how i feel: like a particularly lost, unstable, emotional, sensitive, and lonely person.

i can’t with restaurant work anymore. it. SUCKS. i want to fucking get out, i am like a rat scrabbling at the walls of a glass aquarium. all novelty has worn off, all misguided overtures of honest work or “people skills.” and i’m still stuck here, still holding my breath in the deep end until i can find the eject button. i am tired, my body aches. my body aches!!

i want to just grind my way out (here we are with barthes again -- well if you truly wanted to do that you’d just shut the fuck up and do it instead of writing about it), but here i am, eating another round of chocolate (i don’t smoke, i don’t have sex, i truly just eat), constantly fucking hungry. then like a bull mowing into a red flag i realize i have been grinding...in a completely useless direction. it is like my passion for learning about things gets scattered every which way and i just can’t start, every path is equally exciting and awful and the injunction to “choose” is not “clicking” in my “head.” it’s like my mind cracked open at some point in my teenage years (when i started smoking weed, when my child universe was decisively fractured by a friend) and now the crack is snowing fireworks and glitter and i shift in and out of unreality. 

reality is almost too painful to bear. nobody’s happy: you can find contentment by accepting your current lot, but “happiness" is really just contrast or relief from pain. it comes in and out. most people are too lazy or small-minded or too busy complaining to feel content, or their lives are just too twiggy, got too long in the wrong direction or are just too fucking hard. i guess i still am happy, and still love life, in a sort of ferocious and bloody and hungry way. 

love is bleak, though. i barely even know how to define it anymore. (culture defines a love which we yearn for; we experience “love” insofar as our real love fleetingly resembles this model, only to come up short -- baudrillard). re: love, to use my mom’s favorite school-of-hard-knocks memory device for the laws of thermodynamics -- a subject she took? -- you can’t win, you can’t break even, you can’t get outta the game (and death and taxes). you are going to get royally FUCKED by love just like everybody else, and you are STILL gonna play, you beautiful mortal fool. like the tarot cards lauren dealt me, putting away the three cards she’d used to describe my near future and then flipping through the entire deck, picture side up, without realizing that i was quietly watching it describe my whole entire life -- clinging at the edge of my seat to see some eventual combination that spelled good, strong, lasting love and seeing only struggle, happiness, struggle, pain, struggle, and finally ending, at my death, in a small statue made of gold. 

see also, other realities i hate to swallow: nearly all interpersonal problems are insurmountable and better left undealt with, and work basically sucks unless you are very lucky and very smart. 

work. let’s go back to that. i used to think my work would be respected off its merit; now i see the merit in literally fucking my way up. i wonder if i should even be an artist at all. artists are kinda like showponies or whores; they’re not actually important. the more honest and wonderful they are, the less important they probably are, like schoolteachers. they have an impact on an individual level. but on a societal level, you have no control as an artist. you just get played by bigger fish. better to find a way to have your hands on the gears; that way you have a shot at making a higher-order change to society. but alas, the (capitalist) system is totally out of everyone’s hands and will keep running as usual no matter what you do, still savage in equal amounts, i think. doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. but at this point i’d give a toe or finger to work for someplace like youtube. at least it’s reached critical mass where i could do something cool and make a difference with emerging media. 

that or i pander to whatever blathering brain-melting slop, drivel, they’re putting on tv for kids and adults. or manage to convince a smaller nonprofit that i am “good at talking to people from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds,” whatever the hell that fucking means. or maybe, ugh god, i’ll work for an ad agency? or do digital strategy? and um, i could say some shit about how capitalism is darwinism and money is a form of social control that works so well because it’s out of the hands of any individual person, and i should probably just stick with art and believe in it, and maybe like, apply for grants. but i want a job, a full-time job. i want stability and enough money that i don't feel guilty buying new underwear and i don't want to hustle to keep the tap running month-to-month and i want to spend the majority of my time doing something i find fulfilling. and soon enough i'll get that, and all my dreams will come true: i’m going to get married and become a fat mom taking my kids to piano practice and saying “the meeting went on forever today,” and i’ll have a husband who never cleans the house enough, and then we’ll get divorced and he’ll find someone 20 years younger and i’ll live out the rest of my years semi-happily alone and i don’t know how i will ever have time to make art again. or if i do i just hope it’s not hobby-like, second-rate.

i wish i could have (feel) the bare-faced honesty and love of sha’carri richardson hugging her grandmother after she worked her ass off for a race. instead everything is this weird simulation where i never feel like i love anybody enough or like i’m working hard enough. i can’t speak honestly except when i am writing about myself (strong, sweet, intense, narcissistic) or things i have noticed, as directed to my own imaginary friend. when i try to communicate irl (or, worst of all, “be real”) it’s all so overthought, overwrought, self-conscious. the only person who knows my real private self is the girl winking at me on my black lives matter poster. i hope she doesn’t mind being here in my room. ducky, the stuffed animal brandon gave me, was also supportive but i put him away because it seemed bad to tell future guys that my stuffed animal is “the child of divorce.” and now /you guys/ know me a little bit, because i took the time to pretend you were all my imaginary friend, my dearest pen pal who laughs at all my jokes and gets all my references, and stopped pretending i was anything besides what’s written here. 

and i think, like, a lot of people now live in this weird simulation? and are so confused about romantic and familial love to the point where everyone is getting off on family members fucking each other and can’t decide if it’s normal to think kids are hot? but i guess that was always some weird fucked-up demon side of human existence? another thing i’m supposed to accept. (also sorry trigger warning.) and another thing i took for granted as a child, that most people, if not everyone, is weird/gross/evil, but now that my mind is cracked this shocks me all over again and i seek some sort of explanation. it’s like i can’t find a real hunk of closeness anywhere. i’m close to my own family, but in my other relationships we’re either too distant or too close and i’m desperately searching for just some normal friends. and to be able to give a speech where i tell someone i really love them and for it to ring true. but i try to be grateful that i live in driving distance to the beach and there’s air conditioning and once i stop being a stupid baby there’s probably more friends and work and stuff out there for me. and then i’ll have some new problem.

[husbandograveyard]

Matchup for @doctorgerth​

Here’s my info for ya, Hazel! - 23 - Heterosexual, into men! - INFJ - Cancer - Shoulder length light brown hair, dark green eyes, 5’9”, on the thick/curvy side - I’m assuming this is clothing? I’m usually a comfy cute/casual kinda style! Like shorts and a T-shirt or skinny jeans and a cute top! I wear baseball caps a lot when I’m too lazy to do anything with my hair lol - hobbies include writing (obviously lol), playing with my kitties, traveling, and watching cooking shows! interests include traveling (I just love going places), nature, animals, children, and eating! 😂 - uhhhh I have two cats lol and I can play clarinet - favorite food is pasta for sure, more specifically an Alfredo. my favorite color is light blue/pastel colors. my favorite animals include cats, foxes, and whale sharks! - I’m terribly afraid of heights and spiders. Also I’m a big people pleaser so I’m scared of letting people down. Though I’m going to be a teacher, I’m actually quite scared of speaking to large crowds lol little kids don’t bother me, but talking to a large crowd of people my age or older, yeah I don’t like that. I’ll do it if I have to of course, but not without internally panicking lol - My dream is actually in the works as I am becoming a teacher!! Other than this, I want to travel as much as possible while I can. If I can’t go out of the country, my dream is to visit all states in the continental US!! After getting everything I want to do done, I want to settle down somewhere, continue to teach, and have a family. ❤️ - As for extra stuff...as you can probably tell, I can be a bit overly emotional and sensitive, but that makes me very empathetic and loving! Introverted where I do like alone time but not to the point where I always want to be home by myself. I also love adventures like kayaking, or going to museums/zoos/aquariums, theme parks, or just traveling and experiencing new places! Very into stargazing and astronomy. I also love being on or near the water! I’m not the best at making friends just because I'm a lil awkward and anxious around new people. I prefer my small clique over having lots of friends, but I’m always friendly to strangers/others as long as they are friendly to me! I am definitely the mom of my friends, making sure they’re always safe, sound, and happy. People tend to compliment me on the fact that I’m easy to talk to. I may not ever have the best advice, but I am always willing to listen to someone vent, rant, or just talk about their feelings! I live for small get togethers with friends rather than large parties. I’m pretty low-maintenance, so I never expect fancy dates or expensive gifts! I’m always down for staying at home with movies and home-made dinners! Total cat mom, I love my and all fur babies. I’m also studying to be an elementary teacher so I love little kids! Big big heart for animals and children! All in all, I’m a really laid back person who loves deep, personal connections with people, and also my alone time every now and then! I tend to fall in love pretty easily and thus get my feelings hurt just as easy lol but when I fall in love I always fall head first, full force to make sure my s/o is happy! I definitely put my all when it comes to love in relationships. My love language is physical touch so my man (and friends to an extent) should expect lots of physical affection from me!! Kisses, hugs, cuddles, all of it! SOOOO excited for get a matchup from you, my darling!! Thank you for the opportunity! 💖

aaaa Coop! I am super hyped for this, I hope you like your match, I always love the wonderful ones you do 🐵! Although I will always ship Cooler, for a more realistic relationship I match you with...

OTP:  Marco The Phoenix 

Marco, as a pirate, is super adventurous, ready to take you on all sorts of adventures. But after all is seen and most adventures lived, he’s just as much ready to just settle down, start a family, whether it be furbabies, adopted kids or of your own. He takes after his pops, kids are definitely on the list!

You take care of him whenever he works too long and forgets to eat or sleep, he takes care of you whenever you feel like you need to unwind. Since you’re both easy to talk to and share the same kind of energy, you can just unwind by talking with each other, cuddling on the couch or in bed while you just relay your days onto each other, neither of you feeling like you’re unloading. 

You surprise each other with small tokens of appreciation, such as homemade lunches with sweet notes, surprise visits whenever you thought the other one was working. You never go sleep without saying goodnight, and never leave without saying good morning, even if its just a kiss on the forehead of whoever is sleeping. 

There are barely any fights or arguments. You both have certain maturity and know how to communicate with people. Whenever something does go wrong, you can settle for a mature discussion and even agree to disagree whenever it’s not a deal breaker. Willing to make compromises and working towards personal growth makes this relationship stable and healthy, even after the honeymoon phase is over, you still stay deeply in love, just because you connect so well. 

Since you’re both busy working, you respect each other’s alone time and privacy, but at the same time plan in moments that are meant for just the two of you. Whether it’s actual dates (hiking trip, visiting a cool island nearby, walks on the beach, visiting your favorite restaurant or bar) or just spending a quiet evening at home where you both temporarily forget about work and enjoy each other’s presence and company. It’s the best way to keep your stress level down, and establishes healthy communication and best of all, makes sure that you’re never too long without stolen kisses, nice cuddles and all other physical touches you need to feel completely relaxed and happy! 

Runner up:  X Drake

There are quite the few places where X Drake checks off all the marks you need: adventurous, love for animals, stargazing while being able to tell you all the names of the stars and constellations that you can see that day, a certain maturity... You could make quite the good couple! 

With Drake, most of your time would be spent outside, he doesn’t like being holed up too much. Hiking, being at sea, nightly walks under the night sky, walks around town, discovering new islands and doing some exploring... those will be your most frequent dates. 

Drake is honest and straightforward, no beating around the bush. He respects you, your needs and your personal space and will do everything in his power to make sure you are happy and comfortable even in the most difficult times. Those are bound to happen because of his lifestyle, but he will do his best to make sure you won’t suffer under it. 

why he is not your number one: Drake is.... not used to physical affection, to give a bit of an understatement. He gets flustered too easily and will tend to push you away, especially in public, but even in private he can get overwhelmed. Unfortunately, it may take a little too much time to get him used to your love language, you need someway to let out all that love! 

BrOTP: Bepo 

A little bit of an unusual friendship match, but Bepo and you have just the right amount of vibes in common to work out as great buddies! Both a little on the sensitive and softer side, you both are 100% there for each other when the other feels a little down or self-conscious. Comfort bear hugs? Incoming! 

Bepo and you can spend hours doing whatever activity you feel like doing, mostly something semi-active to keep both your minds and bodies occupied, while you each talk about your friends, your families and crews. You help him feel a little more confident in his abilities, and both of you are amazing in helping each other out when someone has come to you for advice but you need an outsider’s perspective. 

Even though you cannot spend an insane amount of time together generally because Bepo will 100% follow Law and wherever he goes, the moments you are able to meet up and catch up are worth it so much. It’s like your social batteries get reset, and you’re ready to take on everything in your life that was bothering you once again! 

[yurivil]

Tails of St. Vesperia

Unfinished TOV mermaid AU no one asked for that’s been sitting on my computer for 8 years and I totally forgot about it until TOV:DE was released and I fell back into TOV hell. Will 100% never be finished and if someone wants to take the reins to this fic have at it. I like slow burn Fluri so this is mostly self indulgent. 

Tails of St. Vesperia

Rating: T for language

Characters: PS3/DE main cast (Flynn & Yuri main)

Pairings: Undecided 

Genre: Fantasy/Adventure/Drama

Warnings: AU, spoilers for Patty’s past. 

Summary: Flynn, a student at the University of St. Vesperia, was surprised that Headmaster Dionia wanted to see him. He was even more surprised to find out why. “The Headmaster wants to see me so he can show me a fish?” 

Magic!College AU

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Nets. They entangled his limbs, restricting his flailing attempts to free himself. Part of his panicked mind was vaguely aware of being tugged upwards. No. He couldn’t be seen. He had to get away, back to –Hell, anywhere but here. The man thrashed violently, only succeeding in entangling himself more. A sharp cold was suddenly present on his back. 

‘…Damn!’ 

They had managed to pull him to the surface. The warmth of the water was suddenly completely gone, the chilled air taking its place. In desperation, he used his freed hand to try shoving away from the hull of the boat. His arm was suddenly grabbed and jerked upwards, yanking him into the boat only to land hard on the deck. 

“--ty, get back!” A gruff voice yelled.

Pushing himself off the deck, he managed to glimpse through the net. He caught sight of a small blonde girl with striking blue eyes and a… pirate hat? There was a piercing pain on the back of his head. And everything went black. 

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Flynn was surprised. Never in his years at the University of St. Vesperia had he received such an urgent request for his presence directly from the Headmaster. Well, he had. But only for last minute check ups on things such as arranging homecoming, speaking at ceremonies, and giving financial reports of clubs. Those were to be expected of any student council president.  He walked briskly across the campus, freshly frosted grass crunching under his feet, eager to complete whatever task he presumed Headmaster Dionia would ask of him. 

Rounding a corner, the aquarium facility came into full view. He couldn’t figure out why the Headmaster would ask to see him here of all places. The blond shivered, pulling his uniform jacket closer as he made his way across the parking lot. The facility’s size never failed to impress him. Next to law and medical degrees, St. Vesperia also specialized heavily in marine biology. This was said to be due to the former headmaster Cypher’s influence. Now retired, the man was still in love with the sea, as he often took his granddaughter with him on his weekly fishing excursions. Flynn smiled at the memory of the little girl. 

“Flyyyyn~!” A young girl’s voice rang out in the late autumn air.

Speak of the devil. She was running towards him from across the street, red beret on her head and binoculars slung over her shoulder. 

“Hello, Patty.” He smiled at her as she approached.

A lengthy conversation followed the rest of their trip across the parking lot. It revolved mostly around Patty making him ‘guess what,’ Flynn guessing, and Patty just returning a ‘guess again.’ Approaching the door, Patty had slipped on a small patch of ice, though luckily for her, Flynn had grabbed the back of her vest, setting her back on her feet. She stared back at the patch of ice as if it were from another dimension.

“…Patty?” He questioned.

“Don’t you know what this means? It’s ice fishing season!” She turned to look at him, grinning, her blue eyes sparkling with excitement. Right, fishing. He should have guessed. Wait a minute… That was it!

“Did you catch a fish last weekend?” 

“Kind of.” She looked to the side, as if unsure how to explain it. 

“Kind of?” He pulled open the glass door, stepping inside.

“You’ll just have to see. That’s why the headmaster called you.” 

Flynn faltered for a moment, before looking at her incredulously. “The Headmaster wants to see me so he can show me a fish?”

“It’s… Well...” Flynn raised an eyebrow. “Not comp—“

“Miss Fluer!”

Flynn’s back straightened automatically at the voice, letting the door close on Patty, who simply stuck her tongue out before running off. Flynn turned and all but saluted to the man. “Headmaster Dionia.”

“Schifo.” The taller man nodded to him. “I appreciate you coming on such short notice.”

“It’s not a problem, sir.” Was his reply, “But, if I may, why the aquarium facility?”

The Headmaster turned and began walking down the hall, Flynn following, before he spoke, “I would presume you know of the previous Headmaster Cypher’s… hobby. Regardless, he and his granddaughter came upon a rather interesting discovery on their last expedition. Cypher requested that it be kept here, and that the public not know of its existence just yet. That said, anything you are about to see or hear is not to leave this building, understood?” He came to stop in front of a door labeled intensive care.

“Y-yes, sir.” He managed. Flynn’s mind was reeling. So he really was here to see a fish? And an extremely rare one, from the sounds of it. Despite feeling flattered to be one of the few people that had the chance this supposedly rare fish, the blond couldn't help but wonder why in the hell that he was here. He was a criminal and justice major, not a marine biology specialist. 

After undoing what Flynn counted as three separate locks, the Headmaster opened the door and they stepped inside. There were no lights on in the room, save for those illuminating a massive tank on the far wall. The water glowed a surreal blue-green, but a flicker of purple instantly caught Flynn's attention. Whatever it been, it darted behind the large coral-head that took up nearly a third of the tank. 

"Was that…?" Flynn trailed off, casting a glance at the other man as he came to stand next to him in front of the tank.

The Headmaster nodded, "It's extremely cautious about anything new. Unfortunately, it also seems to have a very strong dislike for both myself and most of the caretakers here at the aquarium."

As Alexei finished speaking, he raised a knuckle to the glass and rapped on it as though he were knocking on a door. 

The harsh sound made Flynn wince, and he actually felt a little sorry for the fish. "Erm… Headmaster, not to be rude, but don't most fish-"

"I think you'll find this fish to be more intelligent than most." 

There was a loud thunk in front of Flynn that made him start, but by the time he turned to look, he only saw a lone chunk of coral sinking to the flat, sandy bottom of the tank.

"What in the world…?" Flynn stared. 

The taller man chuckled, "Regardless, I'd like you to spend some time here."

"Here, sir?" 

"Simply put, in this room. You may use it as your own private study hall, if you like."

While the idea of a study hall in which he could work uninterrupted was very appealing to Flynn… 

"What exactly will I be doing while I'm here?""I suppose you could say that you'll be socializing. The reason is that this fish is extremely dangerous for the aquarium staff to even feed. Leblanc was almost drowned yesterday. I hope that, through showing it humans aren't a threat, it will allow us closer, so we can study it in further detail. You may read, study, whatever you wish."

A study hall all to himself it was, then.

"I understand. I'll come everyday after classes."

"Good. Any other questions?"

"...You had said Mr. Leblanc was almost drowned?"

"I was told that the fish stole something from him and that he dove in to get it back. Ridiculous as it sounds, Leblanc was never really… Suited to be swim-team captain."

"Aha…"

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It had been about two weeks since Flynn started going to his private study hall at the aquarium. He enjoyed finishing his school and student council work nearly two hours earlier. It gave him time to… Actually have spare time. As per instructions, Flynn wasn't allowed to turn on any lights save a small desk lamp for when he was working. A few times, feeling as though he were being watched, Flynn would jerk his head around, only to catch the literal tail-end of the creature as it dove behind the coral. Rather than stress over not seeing the fish, Flynn preferred to spend an extra hour either reading a book or watching a movie. The blonde had discovered a small TV on the desk near the tank, and also an old DVD player. So, Flynn would watch all of his favorite classics he was lucky enough to have on disk.

 Today was a marathon of John Wayne movies that Flynn never got tired of. Half-way through True Grit, even Flynn couldn't help but smile and roll his eyes at the corny movie lines. In doing so, he caught a shadow out of the corner of his eye. It was in the tank. And it was definitely not a fish. Flynn blinked. 

There was a person. Watching John Wayne. From in the tank.

Why would someone- When did they- How had Flynn not noticed? 

Cobalt eyes flickered to the side, as if to make sure Flynn wasn’t looking. Which he was, much to the tank-dweller’s surprise. Their eyes went wide and their mouth fell open, allowing bubbles of air to escape, before they jerked back, speeding away in a blur of… purple? 

Flynn stared to where it -they- had disappeared behind the coral head. They would have to come up for air at some point. The sound of gunshots rang out from the TV. The blond didn’t move an inch, hardly daring to breathe. He kept his eyes on the coral head, not letting his attention falter for even a moment. He was vaguely aware of the clock in the room ticking. 

Minutes passed. Flynn had at some point started counting the seconds of the ticking clock, and had already counted to sixty some twenty times. He was just about to resume his movie marathon when, tentatively, half a body appeared from behind the coral, partially obscured by a sea fan. The face and upper body were most definitely human, but... The lower half was decidedly not. There were scales and a tail and... A mermaid. 

Those cobalt eyes bore into him, and Flynn could do nothing but gape in return. There was a mermaid -merMAN- directly in front of him and his mind was reeling. What kind of creature was this? It seemed intelligent enough to enjoy movies. It was obviously sentient. 

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Sorry not sorry ran out of juice for this AU. My further idea is that Yuri only writes in Russian so when given an underwater dry erase board, Flynn has to take pictures and ask (language major) Judith to translate (or alternatively google translate the hell out of it). The entire Vesperia gang does their best to get Yuri back to the ocean but meanwhile Yuri is internally debating if he’d rather stay with Flynn or return home. 

[apollocontinuum]

3 Designs and A Baby

Ok, maybe more like 6 designs and a baby.

I saw a few posts from people asking about how they managed to be game designers with a newborn infant, and a significant number of those posts simply said that they stopped designing for a period of time. Someone said four months, someone said a year, and at least one person said they just had to give up the hobby completely after their child was born.

I knew that wasn’t going to work for me. I made it back to a GDofNC meeting when Roo was 2 weeks old. I’ve had what feels like more ideas in the 3 months that she’s been in our lives than in the 9* months when my wife was pregnant.

Returning to Old Designs

The Library is Burning! (the game I signed with an agent after Spiel 2018) has been shown to a lot of publishers in the 8 months they’ve had it, but it hasn’t been picked up yet. A few weeks ago, they contacted me and asked what I thought about a heist re-theme. I a huge fan of Ocean’s 11, and a fan of heist movies in general, but I wasn’t sure how such a re-theme would work. The more I looked into it, though, the more it seemed to work. I’ll probably have to consider it a different game, but the core of the game is very very similar. Instead of each card having a topic and a location, it has an item that you are stealing, and a member of the crew.

When you draft an item, it goes on your track, and moves as many times as there are matching crew members left on the table at the end of the draft. When you get the item to the end of the track, it goes underneath your track as a new crew member. The items and the crew members overlap like topics and locations in the original design, so stealing a car might get you a new driver, or it might get you a new hacker for stealing sensitive data in a future round. There are a couple of other tropes that I was able to draw on – that of the heist mastermind and the new guy. These are essentially going to be wild cards that can act as any roles when you start the game. The mastermind gets more restricted as he fills the role you need the most, and the new guy gets less restrictive as you add more potential mentors to your crew. I’m excited to get it to the table this weekend.

I’m also taking another look at Small Town Rivalry, my two player city building game. I showed it to Lookout at Spiel 2018 and Kosmos after PAX Unplugged, and it was turned down by both of them. Feedback was similar in both cases – too tactical and difficult to plan ahead. So I’ll consider my 2-player design exercise complete, but I want to return to the game and see how to a) make it more strategic and b) expand it beyond 2 players. I’ll probably leave this one on the back burner until after BGG.con, and then make it a winter project.

Working on New Designs

Sleep has been sporadic since Roo was born, to put it mildly. The designs I’ve started since then have all been ideas that I can hold in my head on not much sleep. I actually think the original ideas were literally spoken into my phone while I was holding her after she finished a bottle.

Penned Station is a roll and write where you’re building a subway system from scratch, You’re also planning where to place buildings near subway stations to increase passenger count, as well as making sure your stations have the proper facilities by the time everything opens. I’ve been able to revise it super quickly since it’s a single page, and the rest of the game is 6 d12s and three colored pencils or markers. Once I get the rules written this week, I’ll laminate the sheets, since it’s pretty easy to make a mistake when you’re drawing, and I’d like people to be able to fix things more easily.

Ottoman Empire is a trick taking game about a furniture store with lots of puns and jokes on the cards. Another quick-to-iterate game, it has 54 cards in 4 suits with two “jokers”. The neat thing with this design is that one card of the suit that wins the trick must be put into the store window, so if you end up winning a trick because no one else can follow, you might end up putting your own card in the window. The goal for this week is to balance the suits, after seeing that interesting scoring conditions worked during testing last week. Then I have to make some graphic design decisions to see how to best convey those interesting relationships when you have all your collected tricks in front of you.

Working Through New Ideas

There are a couple of designs that are taking up some space in my head as well, but I haven’t put anything to paper yet. Well, at least not component wise.

The first is the genealogy game that I’ve been trying to write the design document for months. The Marvelous Origins of Dr. Covington started out as a really big design in my head, but the more I think about it, the more it doesn’t need to be that big. I’m at the point in the design where I’m wondering if I can remove the board entirely and just make it a card game. It may actually resemble Race for the Galaxy more than anything else right now, since you are racing to build a tableau of ancestors and their vital information before any of your competitors. The biggest issue for this is going to be card count, but I take some solace in the fact that RftG started out with only 109 cards in the main deck when it was released.

The second game is a much rougher idea without a name at the moment, but I want to make a game about aquariums. Something like Barenpark, but with fish tanks? Again, my heart tells me to make this enormous simulation game and my head tells me “dude, no, you’ll go crazy”. I love the aesthetics of a computer game called Megaquarium and would love to make a board game that looked like that.

Both of these are going to be winter projects at the earliest, probably. Or maybe they’ll never make it to the prototype stage. Who knows at this point?