#another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[marveloussupernerd]

I loved the platonic Zen one so much! Would you want to wrrite it from Zen's pOV and he is in love with MC? He would be just staring at her and in love with her but MC is too drunk to notice? Thanks!

Uhm this is literally such a cute idea !? I’ve never written from Zen’s POV and first person makes me feel silly... but let’s throwback to English terms I’m going to use third person limited to him :)) I hope that works for you

Wtf is this POV. Idk. I always refer to the lovely reader as “you.” Today you are “she/her.” If you want something gender neutral feel free to request ! Also I’m sorry if this sucks I’m playing around with points of view

Clubbing - Zen (Zen’s POV)

Warnings: alcohol (duh)

Summary: you’ve had a long day at work. Zen has been meaning to take you to some of his favorite clubs. You’re so pretty... even when you’re drunk, even more so when Zen is drunk. He’s caught feels

She had had the worst week ever, or that’s what it had sounded like. She was texting Zen everyday after work giving her update: “People were extra shitty today,” “working late,” “Friend’s being a real bitch.”

This week had sucked for her. Zen was determined to make it better though! She sounded so tired over the phone. Just exhausted of all the shit she had to put up with. So he recommended they go out clubbing, get super wasted together and let it all out. He knew it’d be therapeutic for her and, heck, maybe with a few drinks in him he’d forget how bubbly and hot he felt around her all the time. That’s the last thing she needed tonight.

He knew she was in desperate need of a fun night, so he picked the bar that he frequented that was right by a college campus. The scene was always lively and the people were nice. It’d be a good pick. His Uber arrived to the spot first. He had to look cool while he waited for you. He had dressed the part! Ripped jeans, a plain white shirt that was slightly fitted to give a little taste at his muscles, and the leather jacket he had pulled out from the back of his closet. He looked pretty cool, and definitely hot. His fans would have a heart attack seeing him in this ensemble, leaning against the wall, a smirk on his face.

When she got out of her Uber, though, that whole persona fell flat. He felt like an idiot. Why was he leaning against the wall! That was so stereotypical. His smirk had definitely changed, hopefully to a smile instead of a grimace. He was being an idiot.

But wow. She looked so good. She had on a skirt that looked so soft and her legs looked so pretty and he was staring at her legs for way too long. And her shirt was a high-necked, slightly cropped top. Not enough to show off her stomach, but just enough to hang there where a little bit of skin would peek out when she moved. She was so so beautiful. She didn’t even have to try. Of course, she had. She looked amazing. Ahhh how long had he been staring!? Say something! Say anything!

“Hey!” It was supposed to sound way cooler than that, way more chill. It came out as more of an exclamation. He was just so excited to see her.

She walked closer to him, a smile on her face. “This better be worth the commute,” she teased. It was a long Uber ride here, but he’d just have to make the trip even more worth it. The pressure was on.

He pushed himself off the wall so that he could better face her. “Oh it will! I’ve been so busy I haven’t been here in a while, but I doubt it’s changed.” He made his way into the building, staying close to her side. It often got pretty busy here. “It’s right outside of a college so you get all the fun college students here.” He had to raise his voice to speak over the music, but she seemed to be listening thoughtfully, a smile on her face as she nodded. God, that smile! Look anywhere else, Zen.

“Sounds messy,” she commented, her eyes scanning across the college students already getting drunk. Her gaze focused on a group of sorority girls in super high cut crop tops and high-waisted shorts. She pulled down her shirt subconsciously to cover up more of her stomach. It shot a pang to Zen’s heart. Did she really think she was any less attractive than these girls? She was so much more beautiful than them.

He chose not to comment on it though, instead following their conversation, explaining how all the students here were fun, as compared to regular bars where there were always people moping mixed in the crowds. He only ever came here when he wanted to get completely hammered and have a good time, but considering that’s what she needed, this was the perfect spot.

She was gazing at him for a little too long; Zen felt his body heat up under her gaze. What was she thinking about? Hopefully only good things. She continued on the conversation as though nothing had happened. “So, what do you typically start with here?”

“Shots. Classic move, especially for the med school students. You’ll see them soon enough. They start off with fireball then make their way down to the cheapest vodka as they get more drunk and can’t actually taste it.” It sounded like he had been here too much; he hoped he didn’t sound like an alcoholic.

But she didn’t judge him. She never had. She was so sweet. She just smiled, suggesting they follow their influence.

Zen offered to go get the drinks, heading up to the bar and placing their order. His eyes caught his own in the reflection in a mirror on the back wall. Why did he look so nervous? He’d need more alcohol to get through tonight. He requested another round of shots.

She seemed surprised to see the four shot glasses he balanced back. “Do they normally do two at once?” She asked, not bothering to hide the surprise in her face.

He shook his head. Don’t blush. Don’t blush. “Nah, they’re too broke for that. But I thought” that I didn’t want to be fawning over you all night. That I can’t look at you without thinking how pretty you are. That alcohol would help. “It’d be fun,” he finally mustered out. He handed her the shot glass, IGNORING how he felt as they brushed hands when they clinked their glasses against each other’s. He downed it smoothly, the burning feeling at his throat deliciously taking his mind off of her. That is until she had her mouth puckered and was shaking her head, holding back a cough. She looked cute even while doing that. “Good?” He asked her, still taking in her reaction.

“Perfect.” She grinned. “Round 2?”

“Already?” Thank God. More alcohol equals less strange feelings.

She laughed. His heart fluttered. “Well, it’s here isn’t it? The faster we can get drunk the better.”

Amen. He clinked the second glass and downed it even quicker than the first.

They got drunk fast. Zen had a constant stream of alcohol flowing through his body, begging it to stop thinking of her in that way. She tried to keep up with him, though, which got her drunk as well in no time.

“Will you sing karaoke with me?” He asked, his face heating up the second he realized what he had asked. What a strange question. One she’d never agree-

“Sure!” She laughed out loud. “I’ll even let you pick the song.”

Any song. Any song. A song he could remember the words to. A song you definitely knew. Maybe something a little romantic? No. Probably not. He settled on “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” A perfect duet. It’d show off his voice well, everyone knew it, it was cute without being too lovey.

He clicked the wrong song. “Before He Cheats” started playing. Not what he intended at all. He stumbled up to the stage and grabbed the microphone, desperate to pull attention away from such an odd choice of a song. “Hey, I’m Zen and this is my...” he blanked into the microphone. NOT girlfriend. Friend. Friend. “Best friend!” He introduced, announcing her name for the audience before the song had begun.

She took the song in stride. In fact... she probably got too into it? “This is for my asshole ex!” She cheered at the instrumental break. The crowd went wild.

Say something say something say something. “A-and all my old managers who told me I’d never make it,” he added. Everyone cheered again.

She made her way over to him, time seeming to slow as he watched her foot catch on the microphone cord, leaping to action to catch her before she could hit the ground, arms around her back as she had one on his chest to steady herself. His body felt like it was on fire.

“That would’ve hurt like a bitch,” she commented, laughing. She was drunk drunk, huh? He helped her up, grasping her hand firmly and guiding her over the wire to his side of the stage. They finished the performance hand-in-hand; he hadn’t wanted to let go.

Once they got off the stage, they didn’t get a moment of relieve, a man calling her name. Why did he introduce her? Nobody had the right to cat call her like this. He whipped around to face the man, blinding white anger in his eyes. She had such a shitty week, she didn’t need this. “If you so much as look at her right now I swear to God I’ll knock you into-“ his eyes widened as he took in the startled blonde boy in front of him. “Yoosung?”

Yoosung didn’t move, unintimidated by drunk Zen. “Hi!” He greeted. She turned to face him, her skirt fanning as she moved. Zen snapped his eyes away from her and back to the man in question. “You guys are kinda drunk.”

They burst into laughter. Duh!! Wasn’t that obvious. “What are you doing here?” Zen asked, ignoring the previous comment.

“Oh, well I live right down the street.”

Her eyes lit up in enlightenment. “Oh my goodness you are a college student!” She seemed very proud of this discovery.

Yoosung went on about playing LOLOL but Zen was more focused on her, the smile on her lips, not reserved as it sometimes was, but in full form, nothing held back. The way her eyes sparkled under the light and... back to the conversation at hand.

“Oh! I have a great idea!” He interrupted Yoosung’s very boring story, focusing the conversation on her.

“I’d love to hear it.” She was always so nice.

“Why don’t we just crash at Yoosung’s place tonight? We won’t have to pay for an Uber.”

Yoosung seemed shocked. “But-“

“That’s pretty smart,” she butted in, nodding. “What do you think Yoosung?”

She could get anyone to listen to her. She was so damn charming. Yoosung didn’t stand a chance. “I- I guess that’s okay. As long as I can play LOLOL.”

“Yay!” She cheered, clapping excitedly. “We can go now. Lead the way.”

As the three headed out of the bar, Zen noticed her walking was shaky. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder to steady her and she followed suit. They weren’t much more stable walking down the street, but he felt better having his arm around her to keep her safe. Yoosung had unlocked the door for them and they shuffled in.

“I only have like... a bed and a couch,” he explained. “But we can figure something out.”

She let go of Zen’s body, leaping out of his grip to look around the place. “Wow Yoosung! This is cute as hell.” She was cute as hell.

Zen made his way to the couch, plopping down on it at the same time as her. His legs banged into hers clumsily, but he shifted so that she could lay on top of his. Were they really going to sleep in the same place?

“Is that really comfortable?” Yoosung asked, directing his attention to her. “You can take my bed.”

Zen glanced over at her, pouting. He was not sharing a couch with Yoosung, especially after almost getting to share it with her. She seemed to get the hint. “Nah, this is great. Will you get us a blankie though?”

As Yoosung left to get the blanket, Zen shrugged off his jacket, tossing it to the floor. She ran her hand through her hair, the locks falling messily around her face. Yoosung came back and draped the blanket over the two of them. “Is this okay?” He had asked.

Zen chuckled, cozying up to the blanket. “Perfect. Thanks Dad,” he teased. Yoosung blushed more. She giggled.

“Night Yoosungie! Don’t stay up all night.” She called. He wanted a nickname. Not fair. Yoosung set down some Advil and water on the coffee table and wished them good night. The room was suddenly silent.

“I want a nickname too.” Zen whispered.

“Zen isn’t even your real name,” she retorted.

He groaned. “I want a cute name like Yoosungie. Why don’t I get a cute name.”

“You’re plenty cute already,” she muttered, clearly tired. “Goodnight Zenny,” she giggled, blowing him a kiss. He fake-caught it, pinning it to his chest. Maybe tonight wasn’t all that bad after all.

[yaboylevi]

What about this chapter did you not like? love your art btw ❤️

Thanks!

Sorry for the wait, I wanted to read the official chapter and wait for a bit to see if my feelings changed (spoiler: they didn't).

It would be way faster to list the few things I enjoyed but alas.

VERY negative opinions under the cut. Seriously, if you liked the chapter, don't read this, I don't want to spoil your fun or upset you. I didn't bother to write this in a respectful tone, it's not an analysis, it's just me venting. That being said, if you guys read this ignoring my warning and get upset, it'll be your fault and responsibility, yeah.

The Annie's father stuff was okay, though I hope it's gonna be explained why he was the only one in Liberio running against the flow of the screaming crowd.

Then we get Reiner being pathetic once again, I am so tired of this. What's his purpose in the story aside from killing people, being a nuisance and or dead weight to others and feeling sorry for himself? I would've appreciated if he had had some introspection on how his rushed plan was partially the cause for Porco's death and Falco's transformation (and all the other deaths bc Zeke would've never screamed in Shiganshina if Reiner hadn't pushed for another attack there). But anyway if he'd had introspection, it would've been about self-pity and NEVER growth because he seems unable to have that, so I would've disliked it anyway. 

If I wasn't already rolling my eyes this hard at Reiner, then I would've started at Gabi. She's all over the place and I guess it's understandable since she is a kid and also deeply shocked and in pain. I understand it. But I don't like how Isayama made her go from despair, to murder instinct, to calm and collected in 2 pages. It's just ???? Then we have the Eren parallel and I groaned out loud. Whatever its meaning is. It's just forced.

One of the things I hated this chapter for and that I'm becoming so annoyed at in general lately, is that EVERYTHING parallels something that has already happened, and I don't understand if Isayama thinks he's being smart or if it has some deeper meaning like "oh see, history repeats itself!! wow!! a concept that is not being repeated ad nauseam in the series, not at all!! /s". I don't need it to be shoved into my face.

Idk. Also Reiner, of course, being safe in a house amongst titan territory...of...course...

Then the 104th scene. Ugh. Jean's delusion is so annoying. One moment he's rational, the other is like "muuuuu ereh is doing this for us!!! we couldn't do anything!!!", then he's rational again. Maybe if they had paid attention to Eren, and didn't only take into consideration stupid ideas that would've never worked for 4 years, maaaybe yeah, this wouldn't be happening. Who knows. I'm just tired of the 104th whining about their situation. I understand where they're coming from, their feelings, etc, I understand it's a crazy and emotional situation and all, but we already have SO MANY CHAPTERS about it, it's time to move on at least with the plot. It's just so pathetic and annoying. It makes me angry how he's basically trying to avoid responsibility or rationalize genocide like all the Eren goat stans in the fandom. I hate this mentality so much. "if they disappear, so will all the hatred! Do we really have to stop him?" JESUS CHRIST JEAN..............yikes

And then of course they (and Isayama) had to ruin chapter 108.

Then Jean also had the guts to say they should kill a kid so they can revive a commander, just bc he's too scared to take the reins of the situation. Again, I understand the struggle, it's the same as Hange afterall, it's just very, very ugly how he didn't even waver. Connie's been acting irrational, and he's been swept up by his anger for a while now, so I understand his development. Plus I find it more relatable to wanting to make a big sacrifice for someone you love, rather than someone you (think you) need. But Jean???? wtf. He doesn't even think back on the sin he was willing to commit, he isn't ashamed.

Armin as well doesn't even care that it's a kid they're talking about, he's only strategizing. And here's another annoying point: he's able to make these calculations now but when it comes to Eren his brain freezes and he becomes a delusional kid. Where were his brains when he had to think up of ways to negotiate with the world? Anyway, I get it, it's because Eren's his childhood friend and family. I am just so tired of seeing this again and again, and again. We've been stuck on this for over a year... Nothing has changed, they're just dejectedly going back and forth on their opinions and feelings. Really goes to show that Eren was the real heart of their group...

Connie flying away from the battlefield, effectively splitting again the povs we need to follow is...big yikes.

Parallel to Trost, parallel to Serumbowl. Yeah wow so interesting.

Nile dying so quick like that was also underwhelming. And it was unnecessarily cruel, imo, that as a titan he tried to kill children when as a person he was so sweet with kids (except with Eren, of course...).

The Gabi-Sasha parallel left me a bit confused. On the one hand, I don't like the killer being paralleled to the murdered. But on the other hand, I understand why that is [/inserts meta that i don't care about writing]. The Kaya-Gabi moments were also cute + Nicolo's little speech was nice, though a bit awkward, imo. I bitterly laughed at Gabi finally admitting that she mindlessly killed people just to be praised. At least she can better herself from now on! If only her cousin could take his self-pity and do something to change himself with it, but no, he just wants to change others or run away (and this is why i don't like reiner anymore).

Shadis saving these ungrateful kids was pretty cool.

I felt bad for Yelena, I want to see more of her (and maybe Mikasa+Louise), but instead, we have Jean vs Floch angst and I'm already sleeping, because I care so little about both of them.

Isayama painting Jean as a cool leader is just embarrassing when moments before he was pathetically whining and trying to kill a child (to which there was no setup, especially comparing it to the setup for Connie's plot thread. The last we saw of Jean with a kid was him wondering if he hesitated in killing the Cart because of Falco 15 chapters ago...and that was a compelling doubt but I guess he hadn't hesitated at the time, after all lol). The pages dedicated to the killing of the titans were boring, occupying space for nothing imo. Glossing over them would've sufficed, there could've just been the Pixis stuff, and it would've been fine. Which, btw, made me laugh a little in retrospect, because Armin is once again involved in the death of a Commander. Oh well.

I also didn't like that mini-flashback with Eren&Pixis. I guess Isayama wants to ruin every single nice moment Eren had with other people, because Eren is soooo so so bad now uwu, for no good reason, and it's only his fault right? people were nice to him and look at how he repaid them uwu. Big yikes for me.

I expected more from that Louise panel because it made me go [EYES EMOJI], but I guess I'll have to wait.

It's also unbelievable that NO ONE IN THE WHOLE STORY has thought of stopping Floch, when last time they arrested him, so technically why would they even leave him running around NOW? It's beyond me. Do they have a brain?

As for the basement conversation with Gabi, I hope that "I won't give up on Falco" panel + Armin looking at Gabi thoughtfully will start a "We can't give up on Eren" mindset for the 104th, but I doubt it's gonna be handled in a non-pathetic way, considering how's been done as of late.

Gabi screaming to talk to Eren was also very embarrassing from a reader pov (well, my pov). Because she was RIGHT THERE when EMA talked last time, and she should know that would most likely not work (I guess she's talking out of desperation but still...ppl be like "yeah!! they should talk to ErEn!1 why didn't they think of it!?!?!" and I mean it's probably gonna come down to that if the final audio is of any indication...I just find the presentation of this concept awkward and forced). 

I really disliked most of Gabi's part, even though she's a character I have learned to enjoy. I guess what shined through in this chapter is exactly what I don't like about how Isayama uses Gabi's character: it seems like she's just there as a fast-paced mini representation of the story themes, so she's just an instrument to the story. Sometimes I feel like she's a real character, sometimes I feel she's just a tool for the story and the themes.

Armin's reaction to hearing about Annie is...I don't know. aruani has been one of my first ships and I used to be obsessed, but this is just awkward and forced, just like the previous aruani scene that made me angry at Armin. I don't even understand if Armin's shocked, scared or happy. All of these don't make sense to me, because I have no clue what he even expects from her.

Annie's release from the crystal happened in an unexpected way which i appreciated, though I would've liked it more if she had decided to get out on her own. But it depends on if she was stuck in there or if she was still willingly escaping from reality. If she was stuck, I will love this a lot more, because basically Eren set her free.

Also, Eren's radio podcast was longer I guess ("Eren said he would undo all the hardening"), and I wonder why we couldn't hear it all. Sigh.

In general, the "theme thread" of the chapter (adults & kids) felt really pushed in our face. I appreciate when things are a bit more subtle, this just came off as...boring, because every scene made me go "well, of fucking course this scene would end like this...". The only tense moment was the Connie part, let's be real.

And yeah, my perception may be also partially because I am so tired of no Eren pov and "eren is the evil, evil villain" rhetoric, so maybe I will appreciate this chapter more once we get his pov at the end of the story (bc i have no illusions left that this won't happen anytime before the finishing line). For now, I'm just frustrated because I didn't care about ANY of the things that went down in this chapter. Like, okay, let's move on, ffs.

Everything felt forced and contrived, like, Isayama must know that nobody cares about this stuff that much and everyone would prefer to see literally anything else amongst Eren, Historia, Levi&Hange, the Colossals. Hell, imagine if this chapter didn't have Annie at the end. That was the only thing that made this chapter barely worth the read for me. I hope the next one will at least follow Connie and Annie, if I can't get any of the other things that interest me.

[emilyjunk]

hi im sad do you have an hcs about bemily meeting at an ice cream shop?

during beca’s senior year of high school her dad makes her get a job and the only place hiring is fucking baskin robbins so... beca starts working at baskin robbins

she hates it obviously... people suck and they’re always dropping their ice cream and she has to clean it up ://///

also sometimes people come in and get like twelve samples and then end up picking vanilla and becas like wtf why??? vanilla is the most boring flavor on the whole dumb menu????

anyway the WORST is when they get HUUUUGE groups coming in like after sporting events and things... it’s so busy and chaotic

the second worst thing is when she sees people from school because that’s embarrassing. beca always pretends she doesn’t know them.

the ultra worst thing is when people from school are in a huge group

and thats what happens every fucking saturday afternoon

this huge group of girls from school comes in after their soccer game. every saturday without fail. they’re obnoxious and always make a mess and never can decide what they want

and beca like, totally doesnt even like any of them because jocks are so lame? theyre dumb and usually dicks. the soccer girls aren’t the worst but they also arent that great

so one day beca is stressing because the soccer girls are gossipping in line and becas just fucking standing there waiting for them to pick an ice cream flavor and her shift isnt over for another hour so everything just sucks... and then... then it doesnt suck so much. bc then one of the girls is like “hey guys... let’s order and take this outside so we dont hold up the line!” and she gives beca a knowing smile... so pretty and soft and empathetic

beca recognizes her, but isn’t one hundred percent sure of her name. she’s in the grade under beca, about to be a junior, and they’ve never had a class together. but beca recognizes her face from the halls.

beca decides this girl doesnt completely suck. at least as much as the others. 

after that, beca starts seeing her around all the time. she sees her in the halls at school, talking with friends at her locker. she sees her saturdays after soccer games at baskin robbins. she even sees her once at the movies when her stupid neighbor jesse drags her along to the newest superhero flick

it gets to the point where beca randomly thinks about this girl she doesnt know on and off throughout the day, and it makes her roll her eyes at herself but whatever. the girl is nice and she’s pretty and beca’s never had a gf, but she knows she really likes girls, and so just... whatever. she can think about people in her head alright? it doesnt mean anything!

“look,” cynthia rose says when the soccer girls come every saturday. “it’s beca’s crushtomer.”

“my what?” beca asks the first time this happens.

“crushtomer,” tssks her manager aubrey. “it’s when you have a crush on one of your regulars. and it’s obviously unprofessional beca.”

“she’s not my... crushtomer.”

“please. we can see your custoner from space.” beca stares and aubrey rolls her eyes. “customer boner. obviously.”

“you guys are weird.” beca scoffs.

but then the girl’s ordering and becas smiling... yeah... smiling wtf... as she scoops vanilla ice cream onto a waffle cone and god fucking dammit... she totally has a crushtomer.

alright so whatever beca has it bad for this customer but it’s whatever. she doesn’t even know the girl’s nam-

“emily!”

the girl whips her head around as her teammate comes jogging up to her and fine!!! beca knows her name.

it wouldn’t be that crazy or anything, until one time at school in the hall they make eye contact and emily is like “hey beca” and beca totally freezes.

“uh. hi emily. you, like, know my name?”

emily tilts her head to the side, her cheeks a pretty pink. “oh. yeah... i mean ive seen your nametag at baskin robbins.”

“oh.”

“i just thought i’d say hi.”

beca never thought they’d speak outside of the obligatory ice cream order and cash exchange so she’s not really sure what to do next in this situation. “uh. hi. but uh..... gotta get to class so um. bye?”

emily laughs, so cute and nice. “okay. see you around.”

and then beca is walking away and hearing giggles behind her as chloe beale whispers something in emilys ear and emily swats at her playfully. becas pretty sure she’s being laughed at, but she books it out of there too quick to care.

the next saturday, beca hates to admit it, but she’s kind of looking forward to seeing the soccer girls. it’s NOT because of her crushtomer though, okay? it’s because her shift is boring as fuck because it’s raining outside and nobody is coming in. so at least she’ll have something to do when they come

so beca waits in anticipation as her shift passes, the clock ticking down to her clock-out time... and they never come. beca finds herself almost disappointed to get off work... then she shakes out of it. fuck work. wtf?

the next saturday, beca initiates her very first small talk with emily. “so, you guys didnt come in last week. it was weird not seeing you.”

“oh,” emily pouts. “our game got rained out.” then she tilts her head, looking at beca curiously. “aw, did you miss us?” she teases.

beca snorts. “no.”

“Just me then right?”

and beca knows she’s teasing, but she feels the heat of it in her soul... and she blushes. “very funny.”

emily laughs, so bright and bubbly, the kind of laugh beca would normally hate. but she doesn’t. god she doesn’t.

emilys teammates have already all paid and taken their cones outside and it’s just beca and emily there at the register. plus CR down the counter mopping the floor but whatever, she has headphones in as she cleans so it may as well just be beca and emily okay?

“anyway.” beca says, clearing her throat. “that’s uh. $3.49.”

emily freezes, her eyes widening. she looks down at herself, pats her thighs where her pockets would be if soccer uniforms had pockets. 

“shoot,” she whispers, looking around helplessly. “one sec i forgot my wallet in my car i gotta go grab it.”

“oh,” beca says. “no, it’s cool, it’s uh... on me.”

“what? no, it’s okay. i can go get it.”

“no,” beca says, already putting her employee numbers into the register. “we get free ice cream every shift and i uh... don’t need it. so you can just use my free one. it’s cool.”

emily beams at her. “wow that’s so nice. oh my god.”

“it’s nothing, no problem.”

“no, i have to make it up to you now.”

“that’s really not necessary.”

“beca.”

“emily.”

“let me.”

beca hesitates but emily is giving her this look like a fucking puppy, all cute and persuasive. “...alright... how?”

“are you working tomorrow?”

“um no?”

“let me buy you lunch.”

beca blinks. “this was literally 3 dollars. you wanna go to like mcdonalds or something?”

emily laughs. “no i think i can afford more than the dollar menu. consider it interest.”

“what the hell? what is this? wolf of wall street?”

“oh my god beca.” emily grins. “im trying to hang out with you.”

beca stares. “hang out... with me?”

“yeah? like friends?”

“oh.”

“so...?” emily leans forward, her long ponytail swishing over her shoulder. “lunch tomorrow?”

“uh... yeah okay.”

emily gives beca her phone and beca inputs her number in some kind of daze. 

it’s not a date, beca reminds herself all during the lunch. even if emily pays and holds doors for her and is super touchy feely. it’s a friend thing. it’s just hard because they really get along. beca wasnt sure they would, because emily is smiley and nice and into sports. beca is surly and rude and fakes sick to escape gym every other week. 

but they do get along. they get along great... emily is into music and beca shows emily the mashups she makes in her free time and they bond over bands they like and beca learns emily plays like 5 different instruments.

emily is also funny, in a weird way, and her smile makes beca’s heart do weird things that hearts probably shouldn’t do.

after, emily gives her a hug and beca totally isnt a hug person but it’s the best hug she’s ever had and emily smells good, like scented girly lotion.

after that, they’re kind of friends for real. they hang out sometimes, and beca teases emily about her ice cream order (vanilla... the most boring flavor on the menu), and she even drags jesse to one of the girls’ soccer games and they text here and there, sending song recs back and forth. once emily sends beca a recording of her playing the guitar and beca swears she falls in love a little with emily’s singing voice. 

so yeah, they’re friends. then one day ... everything changes

becas just getting off her shift at baskin robbins and the soccer girls are hanging out at the tables outside, chatting and enjoying their ice cream. beca waves at emily as she walks to her car.

“beca, wait!”

emily jogs up and beca has to pretend she doesn’t think emily’s athleticism isnt the hottest thing she’s ever seen. they’re friends, she reminds herself. friends, beca. friends.

“sup?”

she throws her work bag in the back and shuts the door, turning to look at emily.

emily has a strange expression on her face. almost nervous. which is weird because emily is outgoing and friendly and talking to people doesnt really make her nervous.

“um, so.” emily glances behind her and beca peeks over her shoulder to see all the other soccer girls staring at them. emily frowns, pulling beca to the other side of her car by the arm so they’re out of view. “can i ask you something?”

“uh... sure dude?”

“what’s a crushtomer?”

beca literally almost dies on the spot. “what?”

“a crushtomer.” emily blushes, her fingers tugging at her ponytail nervously.

“oh. um. it’s like......... it’s stupid really, just some made up term thats like when a worker has a crush on one of their regulars, you know? it’s totally lame.”

“huh.” emily nods, her lips twisting. “so like, if i accidentally heard cynthia rose say im your crushtomer, then..............?”

beca really wishes she could crawl in a hole and die. “oh. you... you heard that.”

“yeah.”

“it’s just like... i mean.. we’re friends and stuff,” beca stammers. “you know, they know we’re like... fond of each other or something.”

“i see.” emily tilts her head to the side, looking beca up and down. “so it’s just a friend thing.”

“um i mean, well--”

“because like, say i didn’t want it to be a friend thing. say i wanted it to be a crush thing, like what would that mean?”

beca nearly stops breathing. “what?”

“like say maybe i think you’re cute and i like being your friend, but maybe i also have... once or twice thought about being more than friends and i dont know if you even like girls or anything and if you dont im really sorry like sooooooo sorry for making it awkward but it’s just i overheard that and i thought well just... what if it wasnt a friend thing but a real crush thing and just...” emily blushes cutely, glancing away quickly before looking back at beca. “the term is CRUSHtomer i mean it implies a romantic crush, i don’t know how to make this clearer so please just shut me up now”

“okay just... wait,” beca says, her heart going a mile a second in her chest. “You want to be my crushtomer. in a liking girls romantic way type of thing?”

“i mean...” emily shrugs. “only if you mean it that way. otherwise forgetting about this would be amazing and we could still be friends because i... i really like being your friend.”

“yes,” beca interrupts as emily opens her mouth to keep going. “no god yes. it’s stupid. crushtomer is stupid okay but yeah fine you’re my crushtomer. like... in a crush way. it’s a stupid term.”

emily stares at her for the briefest of seconds. then her face breaks open in the widest smile beca’s ever seen. “i think it’s cute.”

“it’s dumb” beca snorts.

“you wanna like, go out then?”

beca’s whole body is warm. “yeah. that’d be... cool.”

“hm.” emily is so smiley it kills. she scrunches her nose at beca. “i mean i kinda feel like we already were going out. i mean, you showed me your mixes,” she teases. “so romantic.”

“kay,” beca rolls her eyes, but she can’t stop smiling. “whatever. cant believe im gonna go out with a jock.”

emily laughs, her hand coming out to grip the top of beca’s car and effectively sandwiching beca in. “you ever kiss a jock before?”

“no,” beca murmurs, trying to keep her voice from squeaking, but emily is like, really close and holy shit she’s so pretty oh man... 

“you want to?”

beca’s breath gets caught in her throat. “yeah.”

all beca can think when they kiss is that emily tastes like ice cream and for the first time in her life, beca maybe just maybe thinks vanilla might be the most exciting flavor on the menu

[noscorpsaladerive]

@mordredoforkney asked me to talk about how i would rewrite lra but tumblr’s being stupid so i gotta repost it and not under a cut bc i can’t get the page to open on my blog :P

anyways i’ve waited y e a r s for this question i’ve had this typed up since 2015 and s/o to @europeansdomusicalsbetter for her thoughts and input

long story short i take out the rape scene and make it so all of the recorded songs fit into the show but this is super long so it’s going under the cut

Introduction to Merlin and his deal with the Dragon.  Scene with knights attempting to pull out Excalibur.  Méléagant tries and fails.  After misplacing his brother’s sword, Arthur is successful in removing the sword from the stone.  Méléagant gets angry and accuses Merlin of seeking power for himself. Advienne que pourra Gawain trains Arthur in sword fighting while they’re on their way to Camelot.  Julien/Homme du peuple shows up and is like “Dude Méléagant’s super pissed that you stole the throne from him so now he’s holding my liege hostage.  Come help please?”  Arthur agrees. Arthur and Méléagant face each other in battle.  Arthur wins but is badly injured in the process.  He asks Méléagant to knight him, and Méléagant reluctantly agrees.  The daughter of the lord arrives, and Méléagant reminds her that although he will no longer be king, he will still marry her.  He also hints at getting revenge before leaving with his henchmen.  Guinevere’s like yeah whatever this guy’s hot let’s get him healed.  Her handmaidens (who aren’t pregnant in my version because wtf was that dove) help the king’s knights bring him inside. Rêver l’impossible Arthur and Guinevere introduce themselves to each other.  Maybe also mention how much time has passed just because it’ll make more sense than being magically healed by pregnant handmaidens.  Merlin shows up and is like “Arthur I know you just got injured and that you think you’re in love, but we gotta go defeat the Saxons.”  Guinevere’s like “Mais le roi est fatigué ; il a besoin de repos” and Flo does that sassy wave that he did one time because he should do that forever and always. Quelque chose de magique Merlin returns and says, “Stop the party I’ve got to reintroduce Julien/Homme du peuple.”  Flo Arthur stops noodling long enough to listen to Julien rock out. Délivre-nous Arthur says something inspiring about how he must help his people before he can get laid or some shit.  He tells Guinevere that he must depart but that he will send for her once he has defeated the Saxons. Je me relève The Saxons have been defeated in what will probably result in another dramatic dance number.  Merlin and Gawain bring Arthur back to Camelot and the court.  Or maybe instead of starting this scene with them, it could start with Kay at Camelot, and he receives word that the new king will be arriving soon.  Then Urien could talk to Morgane (thus establishing contact way before “Il est temps”), and her dead parents are mentioned so she can sing.  Maybe something is mentioned about the round table too? Ce que la vie a fait de moi Merlin and Gawain arrive in court with Arthur in tow.  They have some fancy arrival scene where Arthur is introduced as the son of Uther Pendragon. Morgane has a startled yet confused reaction at first.  Arthur makes an announcement that he is to be married and that they must send for Guinevere at once.  If not mentioned earlier, the round table should be mentioned here.  As Arthur and company leave the stage, the setting changes to Morgane’s chambers that evening where she dreams of her mother. Dors Morgane dors (the version on the CD not the stage version) Morgane wakes from her trance in a rage.  She swears vengeance on not only Arthur but Merlin as well for the role that he played in her mother’s rape. Tu vas le payer Kay once again announces the arrival of the future queen of Camelot, and nothing is changed about this scene because it is Emily’s aesthetic and it is perfect. Au diable After Guinevere is settled in court (aka after she sits down on the throne), a mysterious group of players arrive to entertain the king.  Knowing that Arthur would never take her seriously if he knew who told the story, Morgane arrives in disguise. A l’enfant After Morgane reveals herself, Arthur is furious.  Upset at how he reacted and because she accidentally played a role in confronting her future husband, Guinevere rushes off stage (so she can get changed into her next costume).  Merlin and Arthur share a moment where Merlin does some dramatic foreshadowing about how that probably wasn’t a good idea and Arthur’s like “I don’t give a fuck.”   Transition into Guinevere’s garden.  Kay tries to cheer up the future queen with his silly antics, and her handmaidens quickly catch on and join in.  However, nothing really cheers her up until an unknown man shows up in her garden with his sassy squad of backup dancers.  The young man demands to see the king so he can become a knight.  After learning that he must be introduced, he asks Guinevere to do so.  They have several moments of cuteness yet also sadness since you know she’s kind of engaged to another, and she eventually agrees to introduce him.  She bids him farewell and sweeps offstage in her fabulous dress.  Lancelot is so excited that he’s going to be a knight and that he met the most beautiful lady in the world that he has to sing about it because it’s a freaking musical.  Tamara/Leia is probably hanging around so she can report to Morgane. Le monde est parfait Literally the exact same scene that’s currently in the show.  Even down to the “Donnez-moi une mission; je préfère mourir.”  “Restez en vie, c’est un ordre!”   Si je te promets

INTERMISSION

Tant de haine During the song, Morgane and Tamara arrive.  Distrusting her at first, Méléagant decides to trust her after learning of the wrongs that Merlin and Arthur have committed against her.  They decide to form an alliance.  Morgane mentions that she can put a spell on Méléagant that will make him powerful enough to defeat Arthur and take his rightful place on the throne.  She also announces her plan to destroy Arthur by using Guinevere and Lancelot’s love, and Morgane goes on to explain that by destroying Arthur, they will destroy Merlin as well. Transition to Camelot where Kay announces that the royal couple is about to be married.  Arthur and Guinevere are married while Lancelot sings. L’amour quel idiot Arthur pulls Merlin aside to have a father/son moment.  Arthur is still angsty over Morgane’s accusations, and he wonders what he should do now that the Saxons are defeated. Qui suis-je ? Merlin reiterates that Arthur should go after the Grail and maybe mentions something about how Arthur is not responsible for the mistakes of his father (this is some J’accuse mon père stuff right here).  Arthur agrees to seek out the Grail in a reprise that currently (unfortunately) does not exist. Je me relève (reprise) Transition to Méléagant’s castle.  Méléagant wants to know why Morgane’s plan is taking so long.  She tells him that the spell is ready, then they go into the “Je le jure” bit before breaking into song.  During the instrumental break in the middle, there’s some cool witchcraft happening.  This is when Morgane takes Méléagant’s soul. A nos vœux sacrés These next few songs will literally happen exactly like they currently do in the show.  Except Méléagant just falls asleep in his shadows’ arms instead of dying.  He lives, he sleeps, he lives again. (sorry samuel this is something we’d joke and say about méléagant since the skull makeup makes him look like a warboy from mad max fury road XD) Faire comme si Wake Up Nos corps à la dérive Il est temps Mon combat -- this now serves more as foreshadowing of a future confrontation instead of the confrontation itself (hopefully anyways) Le Chant du dragon Auprès d’un autre After Guinevere and Lancelot have left, Arthur’s gaze falls upon Morgane, and he orders his knights to arrest her.  He tells her that he figured out her plan, but that it won’t work.  He’s hurt, but he has forgiven Guinevere and Lancelot and will continue to rule.  Arthur orders his knights to step away from Morgane, and he tells her that he forgives her too and that she is free to leave if she chooses.  Morgane is in disbelief; how can he forgive her after all the pain she just put him through?  She tells Arthur no.  She will stay in Camelot and help him become the greatest king of all time. Un Nouveau Départ - sung by Morgane, change the line about vengeance.  Maybe other cast members join in during the later verses/refrains? Promis c’est juré - curtain call song plus one more jam for the road (maybe mon combat instead of quelque chose de magique)

obvs there are still a couple of kinks to work out but @ dove pls hire me to rewrite your musical

[the-hero-of-queens-blog]

guys I have such a great Battle of The Bands!AU for Voltron/Klance and I’m working on this alongside my criminal minds/Voltron Crimues Unit!AU so here are some hc from it 

* So in most Klance!AU fics/AUs it’s Keith who’s the last to guy of is reluctant but what if Lance was the last one * Okay, so here’s some background info before we get into The Story

* Everyone’s Role    * Pidge        * She’s crazy on the keyboard and she has some crazy upgrades to their tech    * Hunk        * Hunk is an amazing second guitarist and an amazing groupie for the rest of the band        * He loves to go alongside the base and keep the foundation of the song steady        * He’s not int crazy solos and stuff, unlike someone    * Allura        * This girl is the singer of the band, she could play instruments but decided her favorite was her voice and her words        * She writes the bands songs as well does crazy covers        * She also helps manage the band with Coran        * She used to be a duo with her brother before he decided he wasn’t going to play for people anymore, hence why she created the band at her school        * She missed the music and the connection, mainly the connection with her brother, who is so distant and different than before    * Coran        * He is the manager of the band        * He is in charge of getting them gigs and gets them into BOTB and is just amazing        * He is also like their weird uncle but when lance joins, he is like SON?    * Shiro        * The unofficial co-leader with allure to the band        * He plays the bass and is the actual foundation and leader of the group        * She’s been in love with Allura since day one but he think she looks at him like a friend but girl has been planning their wedding since the second band practice together        * Keith’s older brother and best friend    * Keith!!        * Keith is the drummer of the group        * He loves to go crazy on them        * He considers it the best therapy        * He takes the band vey seriously and doesn’t understand the really pretty boy that joins the team and is so cocky but also quiet??        * Lance confuses him a lot and it makes him very frustrated    * Lance        * Lance plays the lead guitar        * Unlike hunk, he loves solos and crazy tricks and stuff        * Lance has a hard time expressing his feelings beyond his happy semi-cocky personality        * But with the guitar he can be open and express his happiness and pain and anger        * he used to love to perform, but seemingly suddenly, decides against doing it ever again until circumstances * Lance and Keith both went to Garrison College before Keith transferred a year before the story starts    * He just didn’t like it and he’s brother was going to another school so Keith decided to switch * While at the garrison, both Keith and lance had a feud over the “best” rehearsal room and would always fight to get it * when Keith leaves, even though they faded, Lance feels sad bc that was the only person he really interacted * He really struggled at the garrison and didn’t have any friends beside his feud * Randomly, in the middle of the year a (the year after Keith leaves) Lance suddenly drops out without a word * The next school year, Lance’s sister, Allure (you prob figured it out already lol) pulled some strings so that her brother could join her at Altea University * Still, he refuses to go to Allura’s band practices or gigs and won’t play with her * He still had no friends and is even more closed off and guarded than before * Until one day, he was using one of the rehearsal rooms at Altea and is found by Pidge, Shiro, and Hunk * They pretty much beg him to join their band and he refuses * They then ask him to at least come to their practice the next night * He reluctantly agrees, because friends? He doesn’t really know * He does know that he misses the music and connection as much as Allure does * At this point, no one knows Allura has a brother bc it’s a touchy subject bc of everything between them * So when he shows up at HER practice she is like OMG HE CAME!!! IM GETTING THROUGH * And then Shiro is like oh you came awesome * And Alluras like what? * And they’re like this is the guy we told you about * And she’s like are u kidding I’ve been asking you for months to come and three random dude ask once and you actually come!!! * And he’s like uh yeah? * And she is like god I would have done that months ago then * So then he sees Keith and he’s #triggered * And he like oh my god it’s the mullet! * And Keith is like, do I know you???and lance gets all pissed bc seriously the only person he considered a friend?? Person?? In his life at garrison doesn’t even remember him?? * Anyway he ends up getting super into the band and at the last second decides to join in and plays * And THEN Keith remembers bc god this kid is amazing and he knows it oh my * by the end of practice, lance decides to join and everyone is so excited (Even Keith who wont admit it) * And after that, the team latches on to lance and he’s so confused bc yeah he’s pretty good on his guitar but why are they interested in him? * Anyway time goes in and it’s time for their first kid with Lance and he is freaking out * Like having a panic attack and is like “OMG OMG OMG I CANT DO IT OCANT “ and no one knows where he is and Keith gets pissed * So he goes and find lance * Except lance is sitting with his knees to his chest in a janitor closet that Keith happened to walk past and he’s hyperventilating and crying so hard and Keith is like oh fuck * And lance is only half aware but he expects Keith to lash out at him * But Keith is so gentle and tender and helps him through it * And after he calms down, he talks to him about things and convinces him to join them * And the concert is amazing!!! He has so much fun and him and Keith play off each other with solos and the whole band is like omg what is happening * And after the concert, lance and Keith are friends?? * No more like best friends * They are always together and they’re not hostile anymore, all bickering is playful and allure can see her brother being flirty!! * And she just so happy and she’s finally having that Connection again and she’s so happy * They have more gigs and things are going great, they find out they qualified for the battle of the bands and their all so happy and excited * Everything seems to be going perfectly * But off something had to happen * Something in lances life couldn’t stay good * So after a concert, they decided to stay a bit bc the bar is chill with it * So they’re all hanging out and having a great time * Lance has to pee and goes to the bathroom and things are good until he leaves the bathroom and sees the last person he wants to see EVER * Motor is standing there, the biggest, coldest smirk on his face and lance can feel all the tan color in his cheeks flee * And lotor is a complete asshole * Saying how his own band, the empire, from Galra university is in the battle of the bands and Voltron doesn’t stand a chance * And to make it worse, he just verbally/mentally/emotionally degrades lance to the point where he becomes hysterical and sobbing and gasping for breath and shaking * And lotor says how he ruins voltron and no one needs him and he ruins everything and this isn; the first time *  Lance comes back to the group like this and everyone is like WTF WHAT HAPPENED WTF and he’s literally pulling them begging to leave and they’re like okay okay just give us a second and then Allura sees him * She sees Lotor walking away from where lance came from and she freaks out * Shiro has to physically hold her back and she is screaming and Lotor just laughs and pays them no mind because he has already caused the rift, planted the seed * This only makes Lance more upset and he just grabs Keith in a death grip and is like please please please I want to go home please I just need to go home * So Keith is like oh my god okay and just takes lance back to his and Alluras house bc he didn’t drink (neither did lance) * And he stays until lance is changed and in bed and he thinks that he should leave so lance isn’t uncomfortable but lance asks him to stay and he gets into bed with Lance bc he can’t say no to him he loves him * And yea he’s known it but he hasn’t said anything and he can’t * He couldn’t do anything to hurt this beautiful amazing boy * Little does he know that lance has been falling since he helped him in that janitor closet and he wishes that someone like Keith loved him * And Keith just holds him, their face to face and Keith is rubbing his back so softly and lance wants to kiss him so bad * But he can’t * Not without him knowing the entire story of what happened last year and how he even knows Lotor * And Keith just listens and waits for lance to finish and the whole time she is holding him so softly but firm all the same and it feeling grounds lance and helps him get through it * And when he’s done Keith wants to kill motor bc how could anyone do that to Lance?? * and Keith gives this whole speech without thinking * About how amazing lance is and exactly why and how lance deserves so much better and all the loving shit * And lance is just amazed bc no one has said that to him * And now here is Keith saying it!!! * And is just realizes that he has to kiss Keith * He has to bc he has done so much for him and he just loves him so much that thanks isn’t enough to convey how much he is thankful and loves Keith * So, with they’re laying in his bed, with Keith rubbing circles on his back and looking at him like he was the sun and the moon, he kisses Keith  

I know there is a ton here and there is a ton that isn’t said so look at for the fic later! Gave out so much more than I tought but I am happy. I love this AU so much! 

[foreveriwillsinggg]

June 25th, 2017 : Times Are Changing

I don’t really know how I’m feeling right now. 

I’ve been experiencing a lot to the point...I feel like I don’t know anything anymore. Where do I go from here? Am I getting back to feeling lost?

So, ever since HMF...I’ve been getting a few requests from people to collab with me. I’ve actually been too nice to tell them that I don’t want to. Okay, I mean...I do want to but I also want to focus on myself right now.

One guy (we’ll name him Benjamin) asked me if I wanted to collab with him. He messaged me during HMF and even came up to me to personally ask if I wanted to collab with him. I messaged him back saying that I would like to and he never responded back. WTF.

The first group that encountered me at HMF, two guys were wanting to collab with me but I didn’t want to say yes because I didn’t know them personally nor musically. I simply told them that I have a lot on my plate (which I do) and there will be an opportunity I will create in the future where I have people submit videos or audios for a duet. I haven’t written the song yet but I’ve always wanted to seek music friends that way. I live in Oklahoma and there’s no one that suits my voice or lived to my music standards. I’ve always felt like the odd ball. No one has the singer/songwriter/indie/soul/jazzy/acoustic sound. So, I can’t wait to seek out new voices and musicians. 

There’s also this one girl who I personally asked if I could produce her music so I could get more experience. She posted a music ig video of her singing and I loved it. We’re currently working it out and at least she’s been communicating well with me. 

AND there’s this other girl (we’ll name her Kimberly) and I sent her a song that I started writing months ago which only has two lines. I was stuck on the song so I sent her what I had and asked if she wanted to expand on this song together. We have been chatting and responding quickly to each other so I’ve been freaking out for a few days bc she left me hanging. I don’t know if I should message her back. It’s awkward because I’m going to be meeting her at J4 (Freedom Fest) so what do I say to her if she hasn’t responded since the message? Having anxiety makes me think of the worst case scenarios of what people think of me. I’ve been imagining that she’ll just never respond because she doesn’t want to say that she doesn’t like it. I won’t be offended about it but I want people to be upfront and honest. We’re also really different as musicians. I told her that I’d love to learn from her since she’s being featured on her friend’s new album. So, she has writing experience, studio experience, and knows Hmong well. She too told me that she’s wanting to learn from me so I was freaking out when she hasn’t responded to my rough draft. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (I need to calm down)

I’ve also been communicating with K-Masters aka V-boi aka Ken Vang about another music collab. I’m just waiting on him to make the beat/instrumental. I’m really happen that he’s made the decision to work on original content now. It’s exciting to see him grow. I admire him as a musician because I know he’s genuine and passionate about music. His lyrics are also sad but it’s just the truth. That’s why I have so much respect for him....he’s honest and brands himself authentically. 

I’ve been told that I need a band. I’ve tried to audition to be in a high school band called “Listen” but my best friend at the time...wanted to be the singer for the group. I didn’t allow myself to audition because I wanted her to have it and I even helped her select audition pieces. She was later granted to be the lead singer and I regret not auditioning for the band. I also had this other band that I was briefly in but I didn’t have any creative control. I was put on the electric guitar and not vocals. I opted out because I knew that I wouldn’t be playing to my fullest potential. Of course..over the years..I’ve tried to find other musicians or potential band members but I never fully clicked with anyone. I will just have to do things by myself.

I’ve also been struggling to write some new material. I’m worried that I won’t be able to write something meaningful or unique again. I’ve only been able to write one or at least two lines every day but I’m stuck. It’s been difficult since my sister’s apartment is a studio home and I HATE singing in front of my family especially during my creative process time. UGHHH haha. I thought that since I’ve been traveling...I’d be coming up with new fresh ideas or writing nonstop but it’s been the totally opposite. Nevertheless, I need to write some shit down even if it’s meh. 

I’m just stressing out about everything. I’m waiting on CHAT to notify me if I can be a performer on their main stage, waiting on my online school advisement, dealing with family issues, future plans, the record deal, and so on. I also need to find a job and just get my shit together. 

My life has just totally shifted. I’m seeing myself change but I don’t know how to handle it. 

Hmm, I’ll stop here today. I could write a fucking book honestly. 

Okay, bye.