#pls no one take this seriously

[devilsrecreation]

Everyone shut up this is my new favorite TLG OTP

Although these two come at a close second and hear me out—

I want Kiburi to kiss both of them *aaaand bricked*

[lnfours]

blurb of getting railed by nate in a club bathroopm

once upon a time there was this dumb, idiotic slut named kate. one day, she bought overpriced m&g tickets for comic con so she could meet the only guy who got her wet:

tom holland.

she ended up meeting him, threw up on his jordans, cried, and then passed out and fell into the puddle of her own vomit. flash forward, shes taking on the world. she ended up meeting benny cucumber, where he sends her into an alternate universe.

the uncharted universe!!!

she ends up meeting with tom nate. they find each other in a club, and after she discovers he has a HUUUGE *d*nald t*ump voice* fucking dick, she leads him into a bathroom stall where he fucks her into the the metal wall right above where 'FUCKITITUS' was written on the wall in sharpie.

instead of telling him she's coming the usual way, she shouts at the top of her lungs, "MY NAME IS CONNOR, I'M THE ANDROID SENT BY CYBERLIFE!!!!"

and they lived happily ever after. she goes on to write a childrens book about their relationship titles "kate the great and nate the great" (thanks for that idea btw)

[youreonyourown-kid]

Gen z girlies disliking the name 'guts' is fine Olivia is saying this album is for my big sister millennials theyre like about to die soon they deserve something nice

[retroautomaton]

🍳🐖🌱

[kiwanopie]

Sakusa just looks like he falls asleep with his big ass hand on ur tit. It’s not even sexual at this point he just does it cause he can. As soon as he scoots in behind you to get himself comfortable the first thing he does is slide his hand up ur shirt and grabs a handful before belting himself to your back and clocking out a second later. And it’s not even limited to the bedroom, sometimes he’ll just be on the phone and see you standing in the kitchen making a snack and you’ll just feel the bottom of your shirt lift a little before his fingers are dipping under the cup of ur bra. The guy isn’t even necessarily a tit man, he just does it because you’re his

[lunar-eclipseee]

(wip) loser twink dad and loser ipad kid

[scribescrawls]

Heard Starscream has an immortal spark and crack theory headcanon that it’s not because it was an accident that he was born with a ‘mutant’ immortal spark, but rather it was Primus purposefully making him that way as a wild card in case Unicron ever came back. A wild card where things could go really badly for everyone or really well depending on what Starscream does and you don’t know which it’ll be, but sometimes that kind of unpredictable chaos in desperate situations can change the tide of things tipping the scales in small ways that have big ripple effects. Like running out of ideas and just throwing spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks lol

Like Optimus Prime is Primus’ favorite, he holds the Matrix defending Cybertron and all around doing his best to protect others. Optimus is god’s blorbo.

But imagine Starscream is his poor little meow meow. The dog he put in the room to eat the chess pieces when Unicron isn’t looking. Primus cannot predict what the frag Starscream will do, but that means neither can Unicron. And Starscream can’t die, not in a way that matters. But also imagine Primus decides to never tell Starscream that he has an immortal spark because he thinks he should get to live a normal life (with all the good and bad that entails) without the burden of knowing all of that since there’s a possibility Unicron will never return anyway. What if Starscream is Primus’ silly rabbit.

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Time loop edition!

Jason gets a chance to do everything right.

He’s got one day, twenty four hours, to change everything to the way he wants it to be (read: repeatedly kill Joker). And if he’s not satisfied with the result by the end of that time, well, that’s fine. He gets a do over for as long as he wants—if he offs himself before the twenty fourth hour mark.

He just didn’t count on his stupid family to be such a wild card and keep switching their routines around at the drop of a hat. Makes it so much harder to plan Joker’s perfect demise…

((Meanwhile the batfam: screaming and falling over each other, very much aware of the time loop but under the impression that Jay’s death is the catalyst, trying desperately to stop Jason from committing suicide by the end of each day.))

[keferon]

*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*

Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.

You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah

I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender

…..I made the moodboard….

[winn-wynn]

Percy and Oliver being the only griffyndor boys is super funny because I know they split they’re room directly in half. Like I feel like they respect each other to not touch each others stuff.

Vs

But also the idea that there is one (or a few others) griffyndor boy(s) who is forced to see the madness that is Percy “academics is super important” Weasley vs “Oliver quidditch is my life” Wood living together.

I think they would go crazy. They’d beg for a room change everyday

[swarvey]

as much as i absolutely loveeee this game, i wish the stardew characters had more interactions with each other. ik there are def mods and stuff for it but like i wanna see what concernedape thinks !!!!

like does he agree that shane plays with jas whenever he’s free, claiming he’s being forced to even tho jas says, “shane wanted to play house with me!��? or that haley and emily will host a big girls’ night every week where they paint their nails, listen to music, or watch a movie (and somehow elliott got honorarily invited)? how ab seb finally giving alex a chance and hanging out with him and sam, only to realize he isn’t completely the prick he thought he was?

don’t even get me started on harvey. i’ve been thinking ab this man a little too much lately and i have to know: if he has a crush on maru/farmer, does he not so subtly ask seb ab her during his appointments, much to seb’s annoyance? is he always alone at the saloon, or does he grab a drink with elliott and shane sometimes to rant??

most importantly, does he listen to girly pop music when he’s feeling down????

[bj-cuntycunt]

Spock is so gay, like? He's straight up getting torticollis by craning and twisting his neck to look at Jim.

[krasytoonz]

ITS TIMMMEEEEEEEEEEE

*starts a blizzard and snows on your WH au’s (mostly gangster (joke au. Don’t take it seriously)*

Wally D got snowballed

[button-cat]

High fives you in fellow person who doesn't hate Melanie's guts

YEAH !! high fives u back

melanie is so cool i love her

I will not accept melanie slander

nor folly slander

i love both girlies

:3

[sassycordy]

[etz-ashashiyot]

Okay so here's a weird (highly specific) gerische feel:

As far as I can prove (which is my mother's side of the family, but mostly her mother, because my biological grandfather was totally estranged by the time my mom married my father and I've never met him) I have no Jewish ancestry

However

I do have German ancestry and learned a bit of German in my younger years (but otherwise have no cultural connections to it)

My beit din was actually mixed minhag so I have the option of choosing Ashkenazi or Sephardi

I adore Sephardic food and music and liturgy, and if I were choosing a minhag in a vacuum I would honestly choose it, however,

When I learn Yiddish music and sing in Yiddish, it feels like home, like I was made to make these sounds and sing these melodies, and,

My body has a hard time processing food in general, but you know what it doesn't typically have issues with and which I actively enjoy eating? Gefilte fish, pickled herring, beets, shredded horseradish, garlic, pickles.... etc.

.......I may or may not have seasoned my bowl of matzah ball soup this past year at seder with shredded horseradish

Conclusion: I think my germanic heritage has ensured I remain painfully Ashkenazi and I should probably just embrace it lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(I still typically just follow the minhag hamakom, though, at least with davening)