#and theyre forced to see perciver

[winn-wynn]

Percy and Oliver being the only griffyndor boys is super funny because I know they split they’re room directly in half. Like I feel like they respect each other to not touch each others stuff.

Vs

But also the idea that there is one (or a few others) griffyndor boy(s) who is forced to see the madness that is Percy “academics is super important” Weasley vs “Oliver quidditch is my life” Wood living together.

I think they would go crazy. They’d beg for a room change everyday

[nin-jay-go]

LIVEBLOGGING!

omg ras at shadow dojo....

"sora and jordana's unreciprocated kismesitude"

confirmed catboy can see in the dark

INTRO FUCKS WHOA

oh shit the mechanic's back as... doc oc?

OMG RIYU GREW UPPPPPPPPP

FUGIDOVE?????? HELLO??

THE SPONSORSHPI VIDEO SOBBINGGGG

"riyu cinder noxtide guardian" "yea"

lloyd?????? buddy??????

oh boy he's so sleep deprived

oh no zane passed on his prophetic visions to lloyd

HES SO SHINY WHY IS SO SHINY

the whost

i love kreel

ok WHY does riyu have eyebrows. thats not good.

HE DO A BIG STRETCHY

hi cinder.

oh his voice is familiar OH ITS ACRONIX

EUPHRASIA!!!

WHYYYYY ARE THE DESTINY QUILLS (sticks) NOT WORKING

omg destiny she/her

PERCIVAL TARTIGRADEEEEEE

I LOVE THIS SERPENTINE GIRL. SHES SO FUNNY

shatters the goodness inside you....

HEY THIS BETTER NOT HAVE HIT JAY. HEY. HEY HOLD ON.

this language looks EVIL

THE WORMS ARE BACK THE WORMSSSSS YESSSSS

the forbidden five????? hello???????????

DESTINY IS A TWITCH MOD

OH NO LLOYD IS HAVING A PANIC ATTACK

DID CINDER JUST BREAK HER LEG. HOLY SHIT

GODDDDDD SAM VINCENT'S ACTING THIS SEASON IS SO GOOD.

UHM????? DRAGON FAIRIES THAT DELIVER VISIONS????

OH THEYRE TALKING TO HIM

elemental master of SPEEEEEN

yep totally expected wyldfyre stowed away

oh no magical darkness. MAGICAL darkness. DREAM DARKNESS.

oh i like the yellow robes on wu

NO NO NO NO JAY........ NOOOO.............

SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH SHE WAS ABLE TO BREAK OUT

WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.

"the wasting????"

"the real jay could never forget me" cue both of us screaming

GEOOOOOO

THERE IS NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION

COLE IS THE CHEF????????????????? NO.

arin autism moment

GOOD JOB SPORT KJSHFKJKSFDHSJD

those dragons sure can master

papa's home!

oh thats actually fun, rontu is voiced by rarity's singing voice :0

oh my god the dragons are rising

THE BORDER IS GONE!!! THE FORGOTTEN GUYS CAN LEAVE!

family roadtripppppp

THEYRE HOMEEEEEEEEEE AUAUAAUUAUAUUA

I NEED THAT FROHICKY PLUSHIE

the wuorb!

BONZLE??? HUH?????

"ive rehearsed this" bonzle i love you

oh i LOVE these cagehead designs

SQUEEEE

BEYBLADE BEYBLADE LET IT RIP

SOBBINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG AUAUUAUAUA

REALM #16 BABEYYYYY

RAS PROPHETIC VISIONS?

ARE THEY GOING TO FUCKING FORCE POSSESSION ON THOSE MONKS?????? WHAT

you lost track of the children guys

"the children are drift compatible!"

mysterium better not fuck up my magic headcanons

SIBLING BEYBLADESSSSS

well good thing none of these guys need to breathe

OH MY GOD EGALT'S EYE D:

oh no. gladiatorial combat.

DORAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh hey the nonbinary person's back

oh this place is PRETTY

i miss jay.

boys will be boys!

GANDALARIA... I LOVE HER

fugitives from madness is the coolest title ever

....oh... the wasting....

bonzle trans :D

ADMINISTRATION

OUHGOOFHDUFGUDFODUFGHGODU BABY KAI AND NYA. SO LITTLE. SO TINYSMALL

link... the blood moon is here... be careful.

UHM? GET TURNED TO STONE?????

ROBOT MICROAGGRESSION.

the only way to beat madness is to play by its rules!

JAY JAY JAY JAY JAY VILLAIN JAY FUCKED UP AND EVIL JAY HOLY SHIT IM GONNA AOHAIUQDGFJKHDFKJHGDKJFHGDFK

JAY. HONEY. he SO does not wanna be here

he hasn't told anyone he can lightning power.....

MY ROBITTTTTTTT THEY KILT HIM

and jay remains unseen forever. his grand reveal is Coming

RIYU FLIES NOW :DDDDD

the poor bounty. she dies so much.

THE BOUNTYYYYYY

if bonezle wasn't claustrophobic before, she sure is now

omg baby ras :00000

EUPHRASIA FUCKING DIES??????

NETHERSPACE???? THE FUCKING NETHER?????? FROM MINECRAFT???????

MIMIC!!!!!!

janet..... who is janet.... is it gandalaria's ex

ok i do not like the fact that they just put on the wolf costumes

ok there must SOME kind of supernatural shit healing that leg of wyldfyre's. that's FAST

KJHSFKJHSJDKH MAGIC MISHAPS :) MY FAVORITE :)

KJHSFJSDKGFHKJSDFKSJDH HE TURNED INTO A PUPPY

PICKS YOU UP

ok my friend just coined gandalaria x laroe. i'm calling it scimagicshipping.

HELLO????????? THE FUCKING MC ESCHER LABYRINTH??????

arin my silly billy

WHO IS YOUR MASTER RAS??????

i took a break here and my gandalaria brainrot is infecting me. i love her so much

OH MY GOD ARIN'S PARENTS ah its a hallucination

oh no. the gong. they have the masks on oh no oh fuck

oh thank god wyldfyre hates the masks

NOOOOOO BONZLE

RAS' EAR POPPING UP SO CUTEEEEEE

LIKE THE FIREBREATHING DRAGONS WE ARE IM GONNA CRYY

raine must be jumping for joy at all this cinder content

KAI?????????

OH HE"S GETTING FUCKING FORCEPOSSESSED

OH NOOOOOOO

KAI FUCKING DIES

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

KAI'S CORPSE ERA RETURNS

zane is always getting shit done to him

NYAAAAAAAAA

lloyd's VISIONS AGAIN

HE'S IN A FUCKING LOCATION. OH GOD HE'S IN THE MC ESCHER UNIVERSE

GET PUNCHED RAS

KAIS FUCKING STUCK IN THE MC ESCHER UNIVERSE

UH??????????????

IT ALL JUST FUCKING VANISHED????????

ok this guy is immediately pathetic

JORDANA????????

TOURNAMENT OF THE SOURCES???????

oh my god nya is now the remaining sibling :( reverse seabound

oh thank god bonzle and kai are together, they're not alone

ninja never quit :)

HEY THE OTHER FOUR ARE THERE. THEY'RE THERE.

WELL. THATS SURE A P1 SEASON

[summonhouse]

ok ermm questions about lawrie, 1. why did he decide to become a substitute teacher and 2. what does it do in its free time

this is a good question bc i realize i said "sweetheart is an au of lawrie" as if anyone knows Who lawrie is UHHH lawrie spotlight moment before answering;

art by slugwiki on here commission her 1 million times

hes for a roleplay i run which you can read a summary of here in a toyhouse advertisement or in a different format here on a tumblr blog in which ive written a few posts from lawries perspective actually

lawrence percival octavius ramsey sylvester sterling bartholomew jr ii is a wooden puppet/clock magically enchanted to come alive by his terrible terrible parents- however he has been lied to all his life and is entirely unaware that being made of wood is unusual and he believes hes a normal organic human and all that. his parents, clock and watch manufacturers, were killed by an angry mob after they used their magic to force people to work themselves to death, leaving lawrie extremely extremely depressed because he has been neglected so thoroughly he convinced himself his parents were very good loving people

WHY HE BECAME A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER:

one; after his parents death he spent a good year just in a dissociative coma before eventually attempting to return to acting like a human with meaningless minor motions, he wants to be a respectable man but has nothing to do so he begins to look for any job that will accept him so he doesnt continue just rotting in his home- if he has no job he has no purpose, two; the school he signs up to work at is evolution academy, an up and coming very well respected establishment advertising "unorthodox" teaching methods specifically trying to teach students practical things instead of what the headmaster mx dream deems as "useless" core curriculum stuff. lawries obsesssedddd with good image and what he sees as "respectable work" and real actual effort so he thinks the schools different approach is nice and he wishes to be a part of that, three; he has no qualifications, he never went to school and his parents hardly homeschooled him, despite this hed done a lot of reading up so hes not HELPLESS, but he certainly does not have any degree that would allow him to teach anything specialized, four; substitute teacher at ea means "mx dreams henchman" basically and hes forced to do all of the loose busywork around the school more than hes supposed to watch or teach students- mx dream specifically hires him because hes a fucking rube, major stunted attention whore who slurps up all the attention she gives him like a sponge and mx dream is intend to manipulate him, So despite his, to be frank, absolute fucking stupidity (hes terrible with interacting with people from, you know, the years of neglect) he is accepted into his position because due to that hes really, really easy to take advantage of (THE SCHOOL IS NOT GOOD), five; he really desperately wants to help everyone, he has an insanely strong sense of justice and right and wrong which is INSANELY SKEWED such that he believes capitalism and a strong economy will assist everyone- he wants everyone to have a good life and to get what theyre worth, genuinely, despite his idiocy approaching it, and he hopes working with younger people will allow him to help them- and he really, really hopes no one ends up like him or his parents. six; if he gets a job his coworkers are forced to interact with him Tee Hee hee attention whore moments

FREE TIME:

lawrie loooves reading, both nonfiction scientific diagram filled drivel, philosophy (especially if it fuels his own beliefs), and hes a BIG fan of artsy fiction (though he hates to admit that and is vocally against "frivolous pursuits" such as fictional story tales)... he also loves repairing broken timepieces (still doesnt know hes a clock but he deeply identifies with clocks, it reminds him of home and his parents).... ATM in the span of the rp he will not admit that he adores art and would love to create himself (his parents used to punish him for doing so) in the future whenever he gets over himself and is encouraged to act more like a person he will surely spend his time painting dramatic abstract paintings of himself and his friends, and working on plays with his (planned) boyfriend(s?)

sorry this is long LMAO im obsessed w lawrie ive said this b4 but he is my character of the year fr. i used him in a different rp at the start of the year from like jan-marchish and it died out in summer and eas been active sinceee like the end of september? and every time hes active he is All i can think about. SO theres a lot to say because i am Constantly thinking about his .. brain

[arthur-lesters-tummy]

notable moments:

john getting excited about the viewer count. arthur: "i don't think that's real"

arthur can see in this (bc otherwise its not scary) but theyre still bound

both calling ghosts "spooky ghosties"

this turned into me liveblogging lol

john is more scared than arthur is. "arthur this is a little too spooky even for me"

john: "wave if youre here ghosties, domt make any spooky jumping out-y sounds"

GAAAASP. malevolent... force... (John: Am I....)

john thinks the name van helsing is cool

*salting ghosts* MOARE ORTHUR

john: "you didn't see the horrors." arthur: "yes well, i experienced them"

come on peppers be cool...

arthur reads a diary entry about someone on their deathbed and john tears up... "LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A MOMENT"

"i feel like i've become more powerful, like i've just eaten... taco bell"

the grav-e-yard

arthur was wearing a "frilly little number" in part 40 lmaoo

cockney arthur when he's mad lmaooo

*here's my shit factory* "that's what i'm gonna call you from now on arthur" (spoilers: arthur thought this was a good one)

"i might morally high ride him sometimes... but he's mean." "shut up." "see what i mean? you don't see how much he bullies me between episodes"

"hashtag booooylife." "don't do that. if you search that you're going to get some FBI checks"

"i was just slowly closing my eyes... is he gone? everything fine now"

arthur: "ever since we started this he's been a real weanie"

"you don't know how cold he keeps the house!" "he keeps think that 68 degrees means he's going to freeze to death" (john sleeps in the basement??)

john: "i'll buy the best goddamn comforter..."

arthur is a limmy fan. (john is a confused limmy.)

they watch star trek... john falls asleep during it 🥺 john likes worf, "he's basically me. big and angry, just like me >:) he's honour bound. and i like his forehead." wants his body to look like a klingon(?!). arthur likes data "cold, analytical, killed his daughter-" best joke in the stream jfc

noel to the rescue. immediately gets locked out of laptop.

noel: "boylife, heh that caught on. i'll tell you what they do to guys like that in prison-" arthur: "let him keep his innocence"

i love how excited john gets for codes and ciphers. real detective boy

landlady ms conglomerate came in while they were streaming, they didn't 'receive her well' so she was upset. so now they're with mr conglomerate: "heeey, i saw your hashtag boylife. so hot in here let me take off my robe~"

john: "what is... rain?" arthur: "DON'T FUCKING DO THIS" john: "it's wet... is this what heaven feels like?"

john: "arthur won't let us get pizza two nights in a row. i won't eat the pizza. i only lick the toppings. and then i mash them into a little ball and throw them at people across the street. because they're happy."

calling percival to find a grave "look for the grave that has harvey jackson on it." "oh. is that it?" he had a harmonica personal item... as you do.

"i'm not a BABy anymore orthur" "anymore??"

arthur: "it sounds like someone is very tired..." john: "he says this every night"

unlimited rat hack!!

shoutout to classicallylonely on yt who timestamped everything too. respect.

im watching the malevolent spooky stream rn why did no one tell me harlan guthrie was so ridiculously good at switching between the arthur and john voices. he's literally bickering with himself on the spot and it sounds SO natural hwat the fuck

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Been thinking about what Mordred's life in Camelot would've been like if Merlin didn't hate him and then thought about how if Morgana was around she would probably always give him her favor at every tournament (until he married) and the other knights would tease him for that so have a broad outline for a Beloved Characters Dont Turn Evil AU

Morgana discovers her magic and Merlin swears to her that he'll protect her. He comforts her when she's scared and Merlin begs Gaius to share his knowledge and suspicions about Morgana to Morgana herself. One night Morgana bursts into their quarters in hysterics, waking them up, screaming and sobbing, and it feels like Merlin's hug is the only thing holding her together but its not enough. Glass starts shattering, candles flare, chandeliers fall to the ground. Gaius decides at this point not telling her will do considerable more harm than not, to both herself and others. They stay up through the night. Gaius speaking and Morgana asking questions, Merlin with a supportive hand on Morgana's shoulder. At one point Morgana tearfully asks the question Merlin asked Gaius long ago, "am i a monster?". They all fall asleep at the table, and that morning when Gwen arrives to wake Morgana only to find her absent with her blankets thrown over the bed and several things knocked over she runs and alerts the guards. The guards initiate lockdown and the commotion reaches Uther and wakes Arthur (Merlin is once again late), and they proceed to fear she was kidnapped right under their noses without anyone knowing. Arthur runs down to get Merlin so he can prepare him for the day only to open the door to find the three of them asleep on the table.

Later Merlin organizes for Morgana to learn more than Gaius can tell her from the Druids, but she intends to stay the night at least, if not then significantly longer (anywhere from a week to several months), and they have no good excuse for her to use that would allow her to leave without Gwen and guards. They come up with some very convoluted plan, which does not end up in the raid that occurred in canon, and when Gwen catches her sneaking back she lies and says she wanted to check up on Mordred (who she did run into), to see if he was with the Druid encampment that was rumored to be nearby (which he was). She didn't learn nearly as much as she hoped in those few hours, but they at least pointed her in a direction.

Morgause comes to town, and leaves Morgana her bracelet. After discovering it stops her visions Morgana takes it to Gaius, who reveals it was enchanted and looks similar to the one Lady Vivienne used to wear. Morgana states Morgause got it from her mother, but that Lady Vivienne was Morgana's mother and wonders how the bracelet ever got to Morgause. Gaius says there was a rumor that Lady Vivienne had a baby that displayed a affinity for magic, but Gorlois told Uther their baby had died before they even named her. Gaius reveals that the baby was smuggled out of Camelot and given to the High Priestesses, and Morgause might very well be that baby. Morgana begins to long for a connection with Morgause, to meet the sister she never knew of and recover something of her dead parents. When she begins secretly meeting Morgause, she tells Merlin and then asks him to come with her when she begins receiving lessons from her. Morgause tries to convince them that killing Uther is the right thing to do, but Merlin keeps reassuring Morgana that all they need to do is convince Arthur to change the law for when he is king, and he's not ready to do that now so theres no use in killing Uther before he's ready, and that she does love Uther and Uther does love her and would try to "fix" her well before he ordered her death. Morgause still wants him dead, to rush the prophecy of magic's return. Them sneaking out every few nights cements the idea that Morgana and Merlin are secretly dating in castle gossip.

Im not sure what happens with Morgause, but i think she would still take Camelot at some point and she would spare Morgana and by extension Merlin. Morgana and Merlin make sure to get Arthur out (and Merlin probably goes with him) because they dont trust Morgause to not kill him. Morgause reveals her heritage (and makes Morgana a Princess and her Heir) despite claiming the throne for people of magic and not the House of Gorlois, and the knowledge that Vivienne and one of her daughters were sorceresses leads Uther to believe he can not save Morgana from magic that is likely in her blood and THAT is what breaks his mental state. Morgana's real heritage is revealed soon after, with Uther informing Gaius that Morgana being a Princess is actually within her birth rights. Morgause continues Morgana's training because at some point Morgana has to become a High Priestess because canon. That or Morgause switches sides (this is a Beloved Characters Dont Go Evil AU might as well make it No Beloved Characters Are Evil AU) and she trains Morgana later after Arthur is a established King.

Morgause is overthrown and the Round Table formed. Arthur as well as several people in the castle know of or suspect Morgana of being a sorceress but he refuses to banish her, first believing it to have been out of her control (forced by Morgause) and later learning that her nightmares had been magic all along (how could he punish her for something he knows she had tried to get rid of for over a decade?). Perhaps he lets her keep the title of Princess, having always seen her as a sister (and someone who is compassionate for the people in a way royalty should be) and armed with the new knowledge of her being his actual sister. Everyone expects Regent Arthur to crack down on magic, its what Uther would have done and what the people want, so he does. Morgana becomes a advocate for magic, as she had been for Arthur in private as a Prince, and it scares people in the castle. They believe her to be working with Morgause, despite her arguments being for individuals' wellbeing and how punishments fuels hatred for Camelot. Several attempts are made on her life, many stopped by Merlin and Gwen and sometimes Lancelot. Arthur often "asks" Merlin for his opinion on magic and with Morgana's voice being public he feels okay with being straight with Arthur on what he thinks. Uther dies same as he did in canon: protecting Arthur from a assassination.

Mordred becomes a Knight because canon. Morgana is ecstatic to see him again and acts like a mother who hasn't seen her child in ages when she first sees him. Merlin has learned you often make the enemies that are destined to kill you (ex. trying to stop Morgana's visions from coming true) so he ignores Kilgharrah and doesn't hate Mordred (he is always wary though). Mordred alternates between childlike eagerness around the knights and following Merlin around while hero worshiping him (no one can figure out why. Their best guess is that Morgana is a mutual friend). In the beginning he kept messing up his name (calling him "Merlin" is just weird) and they often talk in their heads and therefore just stare at each other which has led to two conflicting rumors: theyre in love or they hate each other. Morgana often invites him to dinner, and when they dine with Arthur they easily slip into mind-talking (because chewing) and Arthur is convinced that they're making fun of him every time they do it. He protects Arthur when Merlin can't, often runs off to do side quests Merlin needs to do but cant get away to do, and often tags along with Merlin on his quests. Being able to share the knowledge of his destiny since Lancelot died (if he dies in this AU) relaxes Merlin's caution and allows him to be emotionally closer to him. Mordred enjoys being around Merlin and Morgana not just because he's Emrys and she's Morgana, but because they are the closest thing to home he has: they know what he is, they understand (bits) of his culture and make it possible for Mordred to share it with them, their individual magic sings strong enough to remind him of when he lived surrounded by it. He quickly grows to love them so very much and no one understands WHY. The knights tease him about it, and Morgana forcing Arthur to take Mordred on certain missions he isnt qualified for "so he can learn" does not help. Gwaine and Percival were planning to convince him that he couldnt compete in a tournament without a lady's favor because he's the rookie and his panicked look greatly amuses them only to find Morgana giving him her's before kissing his cheek. They were relentless after that, alternating between "lady's favors dont count if they're from your mom," "Mordred has a girlfriend," and whatever the medieval version of affectionately calling him "Bambi" is. Morgana sits in the stand's throne (since Arthur is competing) or besides it if Gwen is queen, and she flashes a smile at him when he comes out (Gwen too. He's a sweet kid with a baby face, of course he's one of her favorites. He also reminds her of Merlin when she first met him: kind, awkward, cute). This settles Mordred's nerves but has the unfortunate side effect of increased teasing. Merlin doesn't let it go to far, he never does, and gives them a distraction before running back to Arthur.

And then magic is brought back to the land and Morgana continues the work of the High Priestesses and helps the rebuilding efforts and they're still adventures and problems, but everyone Lives Happily Ever After

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Not Bad

Prompts: Hihi, i have a Merlin prompt if you're interested. Merlin thinks he's a bad person bec he was taught that magic is bad, but also Bec of all the stuff he did/does to keep Arthur safe and ig throw in some touch starved!Merlin too for fun. But the knights compliment/hug/etc all the time and Merlin just doesn't understand what he's supposed to do with this, so the solution is to breakdown crying and try to convince the knights he's the bad person he sees himself as and the knights are just like "but you're wrong and he's 25 reasons why you're wrong" Plz, thx, love your writing - anon

im a fuckin sucker for soft knights & arthur w merlin so, if ur still takings reqs, i would love to see when the knights realize merlin still views himself as a "monster" like is hinted in first ep (? i thinkk, im rusty on my merlin trivia)- is it a passing comment he makes and they realize all together? knight cuddle pile? just give the poor boy some love - anon

if you'd want to write it i'd love to see the collective moment that the knights realize that merlin is self-harming in some way (in my brain this is probably in like a denial-of-things type thing that he probably doesn't even see as self-harm bc he's an idiot, could even be something like healing everyone else w magic but refusing to heal himself... idk feel free to do whatever you see fit!). i can only imagine they'd be frustrated with him and themselves but theyre just loving large idiots (': - anon

ahh yes all the prompts

Read on Ao3 Part 2

Warnings: implied/referenced self-harm in the form of intentionally depriving oneself of physical contact because THAT COUNTS

Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic I don't care

Word Count: 3462

Arthur is confused, very upset, and nothing is alright anymore, thank you very much.

Because you see, despite the image that he tries to present—emphasis on the word ‘try’, there, according to his knights—he does care an awful lot about his people, especially his one particular person that happens to be able to say an awful lot without saying anything.

Merlin. He’s talking about Merlin, in case you hadn’t noticed.

The problem is that for all the man can ramble on about seemingly anything, at any time, he’s remarkably good at saying absolutely nothing about himself. He claims he’s an open book, but he’s certainly in a language that Arthur doesn’t know how to read.

He does know how to read, just to clarify. That isn’t the issue here.

No, no, the issue is that after months, years, almost a decade of Merlin by his side, watching his back, taking care of him, he’s discovered that there’s a secret that Merlin’s keeping from him. One he never intended to tell Arthur.

And before you panic, no, he’s not talking about Merlin’s magic.

Come on, it’s not like it’s not obvious, the man isn’t exactly good at hiding it. Does he seriously believe Arthur can’t see the tree branches that miraculously pick themselves up and fly at the nearest bandit or the spears that fling themselves at the foe about to behind Gwaine? Or the chores that mysteriously get done too fast for Merlin and far too efficiently? Or the way certain magical ailments seem to vanish mysteriously along with his idiot of a servant only to be greeted with a soft shrug when he pokes?

Merlin’s eyes also turn gold, that’s pretty neat.

So Merlin has magic.

Yes, we know, we had a small tantrum over the fact that he told Lancelot first, but it’s fine. Quite frankly, a lot of things make more sense now.

Except for this. Not this.

Merlin is hiding the secret that he believes he’s a bad person.

Now, Arthur’s not sure if you’ve met Merlin, but the man isn’t exactly the image of the evildoer that springs to mind when someone says ‘bad person.’

The Witch Finder, now there’s a bad person. Storming into Camelot, preying on the fear of the people, bribing and threatening and drugging people, torturing them, and condemning them to death just for the sake of a few coins.

Merlin did storm into Camelot, that is true, but he decided to pick a fight with the crown prince and then save his life. He’s not here for coin—if he were, they wouldn’t have had that small, er, issue about the steward not paying him anything for his work for the past eight years, honestly—and he’s certainly not preying on anyone’s fears. Except perhaps Arthur’s fear of losing his dignity.

The look on his father’s face when Merlin dodged the pillow…

Speaking of his father…there’s another one.

His father did not prey as openly on the people’s fear—or as obviously as Aredian, but prey on them he did. He was a strong king, sometimes too strong. He was a blind king, saw the people as nothing more than subjects, not the living breathing humans they are. He remembers Morgana’s voice, saying that authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force.

He always wanted to see Uther’s face when his ward—when his daughter said that to him.

And what he’s done to Morgana…

Arthur grimaces and shakes his head. Perhaps the very truth that he resents the idea of thinking about what Uther did to Morgana, to him…perhaps that is enough.

Those are bad people. At least to Arthur.

Merlin, on the other hand…

Merlin came into Camelot, knowing that if it was discovered that he has magic, he would be burnt at the stake. He came, not with any aspirations of glory, simply because he trusted his mother when she told him to come to Gaius. He came and he was given a job he never asked for, one he had no idea how to do, and stayed.

Merlin learned. Slowly, perhaps, but he learned. Now he has enough knowledge on what a servant should do to break the rules in the most spectacular fashion. Arthur smiles, biting back the chuckle at seeing George dressed up like Merlin and acting perfectly proper and the urge Arthur had to throw him out of the room.

And that’s not even mentioning what he does when he’s not following Arthur around.

Merlin learned. Merlin stayed.

Not just for Gaius, but for Arthur.

Arthur leans onto his desk, staring out into the courtyard where Merlin is tending to the knights’ horses as they mount up for patrol. He watches Leon step a little closer, lowering his head to mutter something to him, watching Gwaine clap Merlin on the shoulder.

Watches Merlin flinch a little too hard.

Watches Leon’s brow furrow and Gwaine take a step back.

This. This is the problem.

Merlin believes he’s a bad person. Which is wrong, but for some reason, he does.

And because Merlin believes he’s a bad person, he believes that anytime one of the knights touches him—or anyone touches him—it will be to hurt him.

How did they come to this conclusion, you may ask?

Arthur bites back a snarl as he turns away from the window.

It had started with the complements.

Gwaine, to no one’s surprise, was quite fond of flirting with anyone and everyone that would let him, Merlin no exception. Talking about Merlin’s looks, his personality, his work ethic, anything, and everything. Merlin would flush, bright red, ears and all, mumbling to himself.

But then Percival had said something and Merlin pushed him away—well, prodded his arm, no one really moves Percival without Percival letting them—and shook his head. Percival had shrugged but the rest of them had noticed the tension in Merlin’s shoulders.

Then Elyan complemented Merlin’s tracking abilities and Merlin hadn’t even acknowledged it, instead insisting that they keep moving before it got too dark to see and they’d be forced to make camp in the woods. They’d agreed, pressing on, but noting the way that Merlin refused to say so much as thank you.

Leon’s perceptiveness should be considered magical. Seriously, Arthur’s not entirely convinced the man can’t see into people’s heads, what with the information he’s able to produce out of nothing more than the twitch of a finger or the slightest huff of breath. But he sees the way Merlin shies away from any display of affection, even as he gently repeats it, watching Merlin turn his back and get back to work.

Arthur never saw what happened with Lancelot. All he knows is that one night, out in the woods, the two of them had gone off to collect firewood and Merlin had been hiding red-rimmed eyes when he returned, a few paces ahead of Lancelot, not ten minutes later. Arthur had glared but the forlorn confusion on Lancelot’s face had given him pause.

Then it was the touching.

One would expect Merlin to be a quite tactile person, and he is. He’s all shoulder nudges and pokes and prods and gentle shoves to get people to move where he wants them to go. And it’s not like the man has much concept of personal space.

No, some of that is not Arthur’s fault, how dare you?

But when someone else tries it, Merlin tenses reflexively, already moving before their hands make contact. He gives everyone he can a wide berth, scuttling around the outside of rooms until one of them breaks and tells him to come here, Merlin, it’s alright, we won’t hurt you. His face never quite believes them.

The strangest thing is how much of it Merlin makes small adjustments for.

He always wears those god-awful tunics, that he won’t let Arthur replace with fabric that doesn’t feel like it’s a burlap sack, with the sleeves pulled all the way down and those kerchiefs tied around his neck. Arthur’s seen his sleeves rolled up before, but only when Merlin’s working and he hasn’t realized Arthur’s there yet. It’s not like Arthur doesn’t know Merlin has forearms, but Merlin will always jump and guiltily roll his sleeves down.

He doesn’t notice why until he accidentally brushes Merlin’s bare skin once and Merlin all but tears away like he’s been burned.

He doesn’t know why.

Merlin has a secret. The secret is that he believes he’s a bad person. That means he can’t accept compliments and he can’t let them touch him.

This is a problem, because Arthur would very much like for Merlin to believe that he isn’t a bad person.

This is also a problem because Arthur has no idea how to do that.

He looks up when there’s a knock on the door.

“Enter.”

“Sire?” Leon steps through. “May we come in?”

Arthur nods, his eyebrows raising as all of his knights spill into the room.

“Shall I assume you’re on the warpath again?”

“Nah,” Gwaine grumbles, throwing himself into a chair, “know this isn’t your fault.”

Leon shakes his head. “It’s Merlin, sire, we’re…concerned.”

Arthur just sighs and tells them what’s been buzzing around his head for the past…however long it’s been. The knights nod.

“He doesn’t like to be touched when he doesn’t expect it,” Lancelot offers, “but when I ask…he doesn’t seem to want to agree either.”

“But he does,” Gwaine argues, “you’ve seen the way he stares at us when we hug each other, he looks like a poor child that’s never had a hug in his life!”

“Which isn’t true.” Elyan folds his arms. “Gwen’s hugged him.”

“We’ve all hugged him.”

“But he still thinks we’re going to hurt him.”

“Well,” Arthur mutters, “we can’t exactly blame him for being paranoid, can we?”

“If you lot are going to talk about me behind my back like it’s a war council, then yeah, I reserve the right to be paranoid.”

“Merlin!”

“Thank god, where’ve you been?”

“I thought we were meeting by the stables.”

“Did you get hurt?”

Merlin raises his hands and takes a step back. “Whoa, can I get through the door first before the interrogation starts?”

“This isn’t an interrogation,” Arthur says, glaring at the knights, “we’re concerned.”

“Uh-huh,” Merlin mutters, weaving through them to the table so he can set down the thing hooked over his arm, “yes, I’m all too familiar with your concern.”

Arthur frowns. “What does that mean?”

Merlin waves a hand. “Oh, just that it’s a prelude to more chores and things to do.”

Is that…true?

“Yes.”

Did he say that out loud?

“Also yes.”

Arthur shakes his head. “Merlin, we’re not coming up with lists and lists for chores for you to do.”

“Really? With how many you all constantly give me, here I finally thought I’d cracked the code as to why.”

Leon steps forward. “We’re not coming up with things to give you, Merlin, nor are we intending to gossip behind your back.”

“So what are you doing?”

“We’re worried,” Lancelot repeats, “about you.”

“Well, I’m right as rain, no need to worry.”

“Lie.”

Merlin’s eyes go wide and he stares at Leon. The knight smiles ruefully and takes another little step forward.

“Lie,” he repeats gently, “you don’t have to lie to us, Merlin.”

Merlin’s mouth thins. “Maybe I don’t want to tell you, then.”

“Why not—“

“No,” Arthur breaks in, causing Merlin to swing his head around again, “no, if Merlin doesn’t want to tell us he doesn’t have to.”

Gwaine looks on the verge of protest, but another look from Lancelot is enough to quell him. He sinks into the chair and tosses an apple to Merlin.

“At least eat something,” he says by way of explanation, “you’ve not eaten anything since lunch.”

Merlin looks very confused—good, now he’s just like the rest of them—but bites into the apple nonetheless. His gaze travels around the room before coming to rest on Leon.

“Why are you all concerned?”

“Because you won’t let us complement you, Merlin,” Leon says softly, “you believe that every time we touch you we intend to hurt you, and you believe that this is deserved because you are a bad person.”

The flabbergasted look on Merlin’s face is almost enough to make Arthur laugh. Almost.

“How…”

“We notice things, Merlin,” Leon says patiently, “we notice you.”

Lancelot snorts. “Good going, mate, you’ll freak him out.”

“Um—there’s nothing worth noticing about me—“

“Not we all know that’s not true,” Gwaine says, and if it had been any other time it would’ve sounded like the next pick-up line at the tavern, “you’re worth noticing, Merlin.”

Merlin’s gaze darts back and forth, finding no disagreement in any faces.

“What—what were you concerned about?”

“Aside from what we just told you?”

“But I don’t—why is that a problem?”

Arthur swallows a curse. “Are you asking why we’re upset that you believe you’re a bad person and you deserve to be treated badly?”

“…yes?”

“Because you’re not a bad person,” Elyan says, “and you don’t deserve to feel like everyone’s about to hurt you.”

Gods, the look of disbelief on Merlin’s face hurts.

“You don’t know that,” he says lowly, setting the apple down, “you don’t know that.”

“Sure we do.” Elyan uncrosses his arms. “We know you, Merlin.”

“I don’t think you do.”

A look passes around the group of knights. Elyan smiles.

“I know that Gwen came home and told me she’d made a friend the first week you arrived in Camelot. I know that you’ve reminded us what family means. I know that you care, Merlin, about your friends, because they’re important to you.”

Merlin blinks in confusion.

“I know you’re a strong man,” Percival says, “and not just because you can lift the packs for the horses without complaining. But you work hard, because you know you can, and so that people don’t have to. You provide what you can because you know what it’s like to have nothing.”

“I—I—“

“I know you’re brave,” Lancelot says softly, standing, “I know you feel the same fear that we all do and you stare it straight in the face.”

He pauses, takes one step closer.

“I know you don’t chase the glory of being brave, but the feeling of being brave and using it.”

“Guys, I—“

“I know what you’ve done.”

Merlin’s face goes pale at Leon’s words.

The knight tilts his head to the side and smiles.

“I’ve been around the longest,” he says in a near whisper, “and I have seen the changes from when you arrived in Camelot until now. I’ve seen the differences, not just in the other men in this room but in Camelot.”

He lays a hand on his chest.

“I know that you’ve made me prouder to serve this kingdom than many others that have tried.”

Poor Merlin is shaking right now, his fingers trembling on the edge of the table. He looks around in confusion, terribly frightened, sending more aches through Arthur’s chest.

“You wouldn’t say that—“ he gasps— “you wouldn’t say that if you knew the truth.”

“And what truth is that?”

“That—that I—“ Merlin’s breaths start to ring in the chamber— “I—I—“

“That you have magic?”

Merlin’s head jerks around to stare at Arthur. Arthur raises his hands and takes a step closer. Merlin flinches.

“It’s alright, Merlin,” Arthur says softly, “I’m not angry. I’m not going to hurt you. You have magic, though, right?”

“Yes—yes, I—but I’ve only ever used it for—for you Arthur, I—“

“Easy,” he soothes, fighting the urge to reach out and pull him close, “I know. It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not,” Merlin all but whimpers, “it’s not okay, it’s bad, it’s bad and I’m bad, I’m bad—“

“You’re not.”

“I am!”

Merlin yanks his arms to his sides, curling them tightly around himself, much to the protest of the knights. His fingers whiten as he clutches the sides of his tunic.

“I’m bad, bad people get hurt, you don’t—you don’t touch bad people.”

“Merlin,” Arthur breaks in softly, “Merlin, sweetheart, I’m going to come over to you.”

He can hear the quickly stifled gasps and Gwaine’s ‘oh shit’ as he inches towards Merlin. The poor man doesn’t move, but the tremors get worse and worse the closer Arthur gets.

“I’m right here,” he murmurs, “I won’t hurt you, sweetheart, do you believe me? That I won’t hurt you?”

“I—I—“

“Because I won’t,” he promises, still fighting the urge to swoop the poor thing into a hug, “I’ll never hurt you, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re not bad, Merlin, and you certainly don’t deserve to be hurt.”

“You don’t know that,” comes the strangled whisper, “you don’t know what I’ve done.”

“But I know you, Merlin,” Arthur murmurs, “and that’s enough.”

He can’t stop the concerned noise at Merlin’s huff of disbelief.

“It’s enough, sweetheart, it’s—hey! Easy, easy,” he soothes as Merlin’s knees buckle and he catches him before he can hit the ground, “I’ve got you, shh, shh, you’re alright.”

“Oh,” Lancelot murmurs as Merlin starts to shiver terribly, “oh, Merlin, you’re touch starved.”

“Touch starved?”

“He’s not been touched for a very long time,” Lancelot murmurs, hustling to join them on the floor, scooping Merlin’s legs into his lap, “and so he’s not used to it, but he needs it.”

“We all need touch?”

“Yes, otherwise our bodies get…unhappy.” Lancelot shakes his head. “I’m sure Gaius could explain it more. The short version is humans aren’t built to hold each other at arm’s length.”

Arthur tightens his grip on the lapful of shaking Merlin he has. There’s a cold nose buried in the crook of his neck, arms looping awkwardly around his shoulders. Distantly, he hears the scufflings of the other knights as they move closer.

“We’ve got you, sweetheart,” he fins himself whispering, “we’ve got you, we won’t hurt you, you’re safe, you’re good, we have you, it’s alright, now…”

Poor Merlin is still shuddering terribly.

“Shh, shh, easy, just try and relax, we have you…”

Since when has Merlin been this cold?

“Oh, I’m definitely hugging you every day,” Gwaine mutters, helping to prop Merlin up away from the table.

“Why—“ Merlin swallows— “why are you all so warm?”

“You’re cold,” Arthur says, “we’re helping.”

“I’m—I’m—what is it? Touch—touch—“

“Touch starved,” Lancelot offers gently, “yes, Merlin.”

“You’re helping?”

Gwaine shifts behind him. “We’re helping.”

“You’re not…mad?”

“No, Merlin, we’re not mad.”

“I’m not bad?”

Arthur tightens his grip. “Never, Merlin.”

“You—I can—I can stay?”

“Yes, Merlin,” comes the chorus of knights, “for as long as you like.”

Arthur is still upset, very confused, and more than a little overprotective right now.

But so is Merlin.

And they’re…they’re starting to figure it out.

One thing’s for sure: Arthur’s definitely pulling Merlin into bed to cuddle with him instead of getting up in the morning.

[vacantbloodbones]

The Disappointing Crimes of JKR

so it’s 2 am and I have a fight to finally get home (i’ve been MIA for a while because I needed a vacation tbh) THIS IS A LOOOONG ONE, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED! but on one of my flights I finally got to watch FB2 and it’s taken me a while to gather my thoughts. Like, I knew the disappointing confusion I was signing up for... I had seen SO many YT reviews on the film and from HP fans to just FB1 fans had gathered their opinions... and it was all negative...  So I had my apprehension going into watching this (thank fuck it was free) and I’ve got a lot of my own opinions to say... So if you are aware of myself, you know that I actually loved FB1 and how the flow and characters went. Genuinely, I think as a stand alone film it was actually a good, comprehensive piece of story and film; you had exposition, build up, character development, tension, climax and fallout/outro/conclusion...  So, what went OH SO WRONG in FB2, in my humble-ass opinion?  Well, lets get into this adventure with me, pals... stick with me as I rant my good ol’ heart out, grab some snacks, a drink, maybe some liquor of choice (in my case).  In the beginning, there was... well, absolute confusion??? For an entrance into a film, especially a franchise that has a previous film, I firmly believe there needs to be SOMETHING that explains and ties the previous entry to the latest one... Especially since this series hinges on a handful of characters (Newt, Tina, Credence, Grindelwald, and Queenie + Jacob) and to just throw us into Gellert’s VERY confusing transfer to Europe’s Ministry to answer for his crimes... The intro threw me off; there’s a time jump and there’s an extreme LACK of having our previously established characters development and fallout from the first film being EXPLAINED so we (audience) can make a connection to this next entry.  Like, Credence’s survival (yes, I’m well aware of the deleted scenes that were actually supposed to be shown at the end of FB1 according to Yates...) because we don’t get to connect the dots on screen of HOW and WHY Credence and his Obscurus survived with the additional information of his Obscurus being HANDLED (like, wasn’t the premise of the previous film the urgency of how this THING was going to KILL him and EVERYONE in NYC?), him finding his adoption paper, getting to Paris and into a travelling circus (which, also... makes no sense??)... We’ll put a pin on that for a bit here...  Also, Tina and Newt’s relationship; we really are left wondering how and why they are even romantically involved as the first film established them as strangers to mutual friends at the end... Something that should’ve been shown on screen could’ve been Newt choosing to continue his Beasts studies and books over staying and risking himself being in America for his love interest, Tina. Again, put a pin on that for now...  But instead, I just felt the into to the film was as vapid as JKR’s writing when she simply just doesn’t care for CONTINUITY and actually making sense of ANYTHING.  But nnnooooo, we just get an hour and a half of meaningless exposition and threads that aren’t even expanded or given closure to...  Gellert putting Abernathy as his doppelganger really pissed me off, because we never are shown an inkling as to WHY Abernathy chose or perhaps had always been on Gellert’s side (could’ve even expanded on the idea of Abernathy playing a role in Percival’s capture/implied death in the first film)... Even Seraphina doesn’t mention or show ANYTHING about their most powerful wandless wizard being GONE... he was SOMEONE alive and WORKING in MACUSA for a substantial amount of time... that had connections, powers above anyone, and obvious trust and influence to Seraphina... which also begs the question, why is there such a heavy emphasis on Gellert using his wand magic, when he had been using wandless while impersonating Mr. Graves?  Now, to get into another huge issue; character development continuity: How did the time jump from the intro give us very DIFFERENT characters than the one’s we had been introduced, learned to love/hate be turned into vacant shells of all their development?  Like, I’m sorry but what in the actual FUCK did JKR do with Queenie’s character? She seemed like a genuinely sweet and subtly powerful witch that used her gifts to her advantage... to this, desperate, powerless, and lost character? The Queenie we were shown had a sparkle for adventure and curiosity that gradually came to admire Jacob and truly was heart broken when his memory was erased--to kidnapping him, putting a love charm against his will, and forcing him to go to London with her? She acted the very opposite of who she is and she seemed to have strong morals to stand by her sister’s side, help no-maj’s out, and using her powers for what she felt was right.... To being hapless in Paris, because she wouldn’t own up to her kidnapping and using magic on Jacob against his will, and then DECIDING to JOIN Gellert’s very VAGUE AND STRANGE CULT.  Newt seemed more like a confused boy the entire installment with flashes of him and his abilities with connecting to beasts, thrown into this second installment as a reminder that “fantastic beasts” is in the title of the movie...  Also the broken up dialogue; I DIDNT GET A SINGLE STRAIGHT ANSWER IN ANY GODDAMN CONVERSATION HELD BY ANY CHARACTER! like WOW for a two hour+ movie I got ZERO dialogue that made me go ‘ahhh i get it now!’ no, everyone was running away from each other like a grade-school gym dance.  Jacob was still, sort of, Jacob... but he and Newt’s friendship didn’t feel authentic in this film as it did in the previous. The banter (or lack thereof) was kind of just a callback to me of saying ‘ahahaha, dont you remember Jacob being funny in the last movie????? well look at this funny moment thats totally not needed!’  EVERYONE AVOIDING EACH OTHER FROM MISCOMMUNICATION LIKE THEYRE TEENAGERS REALLY MADE THE ADULT TONE OF THE LAST FILM JUST FALL FLAT... I had screamed internally every time some interaction happened and then someone RUNS AWAY! like, aren’t they adults??? even HP films has young TEENS being more accountable and willing to talk than every adult in this MOVIE.  Lets get into Gellert’s confusing vague cult of reasoning; Gellert’s wishes and aspirations and him killing people and children to comparing his reasoning that he will stop WW2 with his hookah skull... just didn’t make sense, I’ll also add that Gellert’s LACK of character really just pissed me off, like, Voldemort wasn’t revealed until waaaay later and even when he was a face on the back of someone’s bald ass head; made a more CONVINCING and REASONED character with his motives. Gellert just seemed like a casual shit disturber and running a murderous vague cult because Albus won’t do shit and he knows it... He’s like an angsty teenager that never got had someone sit and hug it out type deal. Also, the way he treats his followers and the lack of showing HOW he got so many followers; like, I’m sorry but how did this angsty man-baby get followers???? Oh, right, he used his words that... AGAIN, fall goddamn short even when we FINALLY got to see his “gathering” and “speech” that was so hyped for almost 2 hours... It didn’t make sense to his reasoning or why he was acting out IMHO.  Alright, now let’s get to the character introduction... or really, half-assed intro to the many people I COULDNT CARE FOR... Expect my personal surprise with Theseus, we’re introduced to a man that seems more compelling and complex than Gellert (seriously tbh). Somehow we’re led to believe a guy who constantly (as we’re shown) to reach out to Newt that HES the one making their relationship complicated? When it becomes apparent that Leta and Newt are the two with complicated history and Theseus loves them both deeply????? Enough that he just stands back knowing damn well Newt and Leta have a past but he’s secure in his relationship between all both people he just wants them all to get along. Now, I get that Theseus wants Newt to be an Aura, but we’re also shown he has his reasons to help Newt (ultimately); Theseus showed more character development than ANYONE in this ENTIRE MOVIE (well Albus is second in this) but him CHASING HIS BROTHER TO GET ANSWERS is somehow ‘BAD TEMPER’ according to Tina... like really, almost all the female characters were lacking level-headed sanity purposely written by JKR so I would resent the characters I had grown to actually like???? Nagini is just thrown into the plot as a mother-like figure for Credence but Credence is displayed as some selfish man-child, he can’t reason with Nagini and it leads to their strange relationship ending with Nagini feeling betrayed. And then there’s Leta and her over-played storyline to be cut short by her sacrifice that literally didn’t do anything for the plot but make me want to punch a wall because Theseus is left with a broken heart and a brother who will ditch him in a minute to talk to Albus...  There were other characters that were so lacking in development that if any or all of them died, I felt like I could still sleep like a baby knowing that JKR had made such shitty vapid characters and lack of development, I felt NOTHING for practically everyone. Albus, Theseus, and Queenie had the most emotional complexity but even then, I’m giving them kudos because everything else was lacking so much I clung onto whoever threw an emotional fit first.  The whole dynamic between Albus, Gellert, and Credence really just angered me. Red herring the entire premise of Credence wanting to know his identity so DESPERATELY he was willing to join Gellert’s vague emo posse of a cult, only to be revealed as not a Lestrange (which we had been hyped tf up to know) as, instead, THE BRO ALBUS AND NOBODY IN THE HP UNIVERSE APPARENTLY KNEW OR WAS EVER EXPLAINED JUST WHY ALBUS’ BABY BROTHER IS ON A BOAT TO AMERICA (i’M GUESSING THIS EXPOSITION WILL BE EXCRUCIATINGLY TOLD ONLY TO BE SOME OTHER LIE AND BAM CREE IS DEAD)???? But YES lets not elaborate on the queer baiting of Credence, Albus, and Gellert... JKR just wanted to hype us up for nothing and all of Credence’s development and complexity is summed up to ‘lol ur a dumbledore, cree’ really is a slap to the face. Albus being trapped a majority at the school was a half-ass way for us to not have Albus confront Credence to get him to fin d his answers at Hogwarts... Lets be real.  But basically, everyone wasn’t themselves, people we were introduced to were flatlined or placed in stereotypical tropes, and every exposition turn was a red herring thats never elaborated on or concluded... the lack of goddamn comprehensive dialogue, and we got queer baited by the ever infamous JKR....  and my final take: WHERE THE FUCK IS PERCIVAL GRAVES?????  So, this was my long-ass ranting about this movie and why I probably watched it for the criminal reasoning to hurt myself and be disappointed in the end... Was i surprised? NO.  Am I going to watch the next installment... maybe... just for closure to this epic failure of a second installment.  Thanks for making it to the end, I hope this was less painful than the actual film. 

[coffeeastronaut]

i got called over by a dude in the library yesterday and he knew me and recognized me and knew my name and i had absolutely no idea who he was or where he knew me from or even an inkling towards his name. It’s really interesting the way we impact each other and the way we percieve out relationships with others, ESPECIALLY people we don’t know that well.

We always have people who simply do not make an impact on our lives and who we barely know, and that isnt a bad thing, but it is interesting to see how those people might percive you. like especially if you are a big personality or you talk a lot there’s always someone who’s being quiet and doesn’t really register on ur radar, but to them they’re listening and engaging in the conversation. It’s all about perception nd shit.

Its also really amplified online (with the anonymity of the online space) where you might be mutuals with someone and to you, theyre really cool and you know all about them and yadda ya, but to them ur just a frequent in their notifications and in the likes of personal posts.

None of this is bad it’s just.. interesting how we are such differnt people to everyone who knows us and that our relationships with people are different from every view, from ourselves, the other person, and from the outside.

especially that last point is interesting to me because of how other people perceive our relationships. not so much in the sense of a friend looking at a significant other and more in the sense of like. strangers. bc of things such as other people hearing ur conversations or ur tone and making assumptions about you and whoever ur talking too? or even just You Existing by urself in a public space. if someone in the library sees me reading shakespeare theyre probably going to make some assumptions about me and thats just how it be! we leave a hundred differnt versions of ourselves in strangers minds every time we leave home.

this goes double on the internet! againt there’s the sense of anonymity here and especially on this website it is VERY easy to see One Single Post that someone else made and form opinions on them based on just that post! especially bc of the reblog system, it’s so easy to remove somthing from it’s original context and twist what it ment, or even just outdate it.

i know for a Fact that there are posts i made back in 2015 still in circulation and i h a t e that because I’m a whole dffernt person now! im not like that anymore! but there’s a whole plethora of people who know nothing about me except for that one, old, outdated post! and that isnt something i can control or do anything about.

It’s strange, the way we percive ourselves and others and our relationships. we will never have the full context for anything in our lives and so we are forced to fill in the blanks ourselves, and it’s absolutely facinating.

[funkzpiel]

what are your thoughts about Head of Department for Magical Beasts Newt Scamander and HOD for DMLE Percival Graves where they headbutt a lot on many issues esp. on Creatures Law & Newt always flinging his safety away just to rescue a creature when Graves explicitly tells him not to do it? Do you think there will be romance btwn them? Or theyre too busy huffing & puffing @ each other to notice the attraction?

OH. MY. GOD.

My thoughts are that I love this idea so fucking much. 

More under the cut, ‘cause it ended up hella long.

The moment Picquery revealsto Graves that this new department is not only going to be created but led by Newt motherfucking Scamander,he nearly has a stroke. He literally has to sit down. 

“You’re messing with me.”

“I don’t play games, Percival,”Picquery says cooly, but he can see her amusement in the tiniest uptick of onecorner of her mouth - her eyes absolutely mirthful.

“Then you’re punishing me,” he says instead, one hand over his face,trying to knead away to growing headache pushing behind his eyes.

“Newt Scamander will be joiningthis government, Percival,” she says and by her tone he knows its set instone. “And I am tasking you to co-lead his first few field missions,whatever they might be, to judge his mettle as a leader.”

“I don’t need to go into thefield with him to tell you he’s reckless and inconsiderate of any lives aroundhim that aren’t magical creatures, Sera. I read the reports. Everyone seems toconveniently forget the man brought an unstable contraption to hold them into acity of No-Majs, then failed to keep that case secure,” Graves says, a veinslowly rising in his temple, pulsing madly. “He even lost that case to a No-Maj - a pudgy No-Maj no less - andwhen said man was attacked by a creature of his whose venom could have resultedin ‘fire from one’s anus’, he nearly left him. Everyonecoos at him because he’s lanky and awkward and has these ridiculouslyadorable doe eyes but I know better, Sera. You give him a task force andhe’s going to get somebody killed.”

Picquery raises a brow at him.

“You’re going to make me do itanyway,” Percival sighs.

“Indeed. We are legally obligatedto give the man a three mission trial period, barring any significant signs of inadequacy. He’s the most knowledgeable wizardof our kind in this matter, Percival. It would be foolish not to consider him –even if his ‘doe eyes’ are so misleading, as you say,” and Graves can tell fromher tone that not only had she not missed that turn of phrase, she found itmore than a little amusing.

Graves scowled and crossed hisarms, legs splayed and altogether looking more a child than a Director of a prestigiousoffice of power.

“I don’t see why we couldn’t havejust made the man a consultant,” he mutters crossly.

“Would you have listened to whathe had to say if he was just a consultant?”

Graves purses his lips.

“The first operation is a stingon a black market ring, Director,” she says. “I do suggest you prepareyourself.”

Graves and Newt bicker about everything, ranging anywhere from when to have their meetings -  

“Six in the morning isridiculous, Percival—“

“—Director,” Gravescorrects him, “And it is not ‘ridiculous’ Mr. Scamander. If you can’t be available at the drop of a hat you’llhardly be of any use in an emergency.”

“DirectorScamander, if we’re playing that game,”Newt says simply, “And I have toattend to my creatures in the early morning, you know that. It’s technicallypart of my job, regardless. Seeing as I’m the Head of Magical Creature Control,which by the by, that’s a horrible name!”

To what to have for lunch –

“Perhaps we couldorder food in? I recently found this lovely little—“ Newt starts.

“—No.” Graves says,not even coldly. Just simply, as though answering an innocuous question ratherthan shutting someone down completely for no reason.

“But you don’t evenknow what the place is yet,” Newt says.

To the importance of safety; specifically, Newt’s safety.

“I can decide for myselfwhether or not to risk my own safety, Percival. I don’t need someone telling memy own worth!”

“Director,” Gravescorrects, “And you are infuriating. Isaved your hide and instead of thanking me as you should or even feeling aninkling of remorse for abandoning your team to chase the leader yourself, you yellat me for saving you.”

“I told you I had it.I told you to stay with the other Aurors and keep the creatures safe!”

“The creatures are notmy priority, Newt!” Graves bellows. “You are.”

“Picquery told you tolisten to my orders,” Newt seethes, cold and scowling, his bandaged handtrembling in a fist at his side.

“And your orders wouldhave gotten you killed, Scamander,”Graves growls, stepping forward and into Newt’s space. “She told me to listento you, yes, but she also told me to evaluate you as a leader. Andleaders don’t abandon their team to coral panicked creatures they don’tunderstand just because you thinkthis one escaping man might have information on a creature they may or may nothave in their possession. Your life and the lives of my men – people, Newt, who have families – are worth more than the less than credibleword of some low life thug.”

“I came here to betterthe lives of creatures,” Newt says, voice soft but no less angry or remorseful.

“That’s what I toldPicquery,” Graves sneers, nose wrinkled. “But no one ever listens to me.”

When they go their separate ways after the mission is doneand all the paperwork is filled, Graves half expects Picquery to storm in hisoffice at any moment and scold him because no doubt the Magizoologist quitafter that.

A knock at the door and Graves just stares into his fireplace and takes another sip of Fire Whiskey before letting out a soft “come in”.

The steps are too quiet, too hesitant and too uncoordinatedto be Seraphina’s. He turns and feels the muscles of his shoulder instantlytense at the sight of one very inebriated Newt Scamander.

“You’re drunk,” Graves says blandly, unimpressed when Newtmerely scowls at him with petulant adorable anger and jabs a shakyfinger in his direction.

“You’re drinking,” he says, accusatory.

“I’m always drinking,” Graves says. “It hardly matters anymore.”

Newt doesn’t seem to know what to do with that information.Graves enjoys knocking him off balance.

“You, however, don’tdrink,” Graves says, turning to face the man completely. “So why start now?”

“I was t-thinking about quitting,” Newt grumbles. “This job, that is. Not drinking.”

“And so drinking was supposed to help that along?”

“I didn’t go drinking to help make my decision,” Newt slurs,staggering right to rest his hip inelegantly against Graves’ desk – accidentally knockingone or two immaculately placed items over. Graves sighs even as Newt mutters asoft, surprised “sorry” to his desk as though it were a stranger he had bumpedinto on the streets. “I went drinking to cope with my decision.”

“And what decision was that?”

“The decision to continue working with you, you wanking arse.”

“Lovely,” Graves says into his own glass and drains it toits bottom.

“And the decision to apologize,” Newt finally says, voicesofter, drawing Graves’ gaze. “You’re right. I t-tend to put creatures first.No one else will, so…”

Despite himself, Graves feels a pang of sympathy – understandingthe plight of a man just trying to do the right thing, only to fuck everythingup. He crosses the room to his personal stock of whiskey and pours himselfanother finger of liquid comfort. He’d offer one to Scamander if the man weren’t already sloshed.

He has no wish to wipe vomit from his floor tonight, even with magic.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but an apology isn’tenough,” he says and catches the way the man bristles like a cat automatically,stung by his rejection. Graves holds up a hand to stop him when Newt opens hismouth to retort. “You have to act onthat apology, Newt. You have to be better. Because what you’re apologizing forisn’t accidentally offending me in some way. It’s for endangering the lives of myteam, including yourself – and ‘sorry’ doesn’t cut it. You want to show me you’resorry? Start taking this position you’ve been given seriously.”

“I am taking itseriously,” Newt growls through his teeth.

“For your creatures, yes, I have no doubt. But you can’tonly be here for your creatures. You need to be here for people too. Just as much to educate them on how creatures arewonderful and how to integrate them into the secrets of our society as to teachthem how to protect themselves and others. I’d have figured you knew that,considering that’s the whole point of your book.”

“You read my book?”

“Of course I read your book,” Graves says and gestures boredly to something behind the other man,drawing Newt’s attention to his copy sitting on his shelf. “It’s an invaluableresource to my work and the safety of my team, just as you are an invaluableresource to this government.”

“Invaluable… You don’t hate me?”

Graves snorts into his glass.

“You personally? No. But you make my job decidedly harder,Scamander. I do hate that.”

Newt purses his lips, at a loss.

“Well, you,” he says suddenly, pointing his finger at Graves. “Need to learn that creatures also need to be protected on these missions. They’re important too! They’re the whole reason why we’re out there!”

“You’re right,” Graves concedes simply, silently relishing the surprised look he gets from Newt. “I have some adapting to do, too. We’ll figure it out. If you’re sticking around, that is.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Percival.”

“Director,” Graves corrects playfully, and Newt smiles.

Newt doesn’t quit. In fact, he gets better – slowly. Helearns the significance of his actions. When to put the safety of creaturesfirst and when to step back and ensure the safety of his men. He and Gravesbegin to agree more – slowly. They don’t argue over lunch. They find a way tocomprise when creating mission plans. He trusts Newt more and more with hisAurors and their safety. And Newt trusts Graves more and more to keep thesafety of magical creatures in mind.

They make a good team. And as Newt grows, so does hisdepartment. He needs Graves and his Aurors less and less as his own task forceand leadership skills take shape. And although Graves is happy to return tosomething even remotely resembling normalcy, a part of him does miss the thrillof working with Newt more closely.

They catch breakfast together and collaborate in order totrain their staff – Graves training Newt’s men in combat and Newt trainingGraves’ men in how to approach and handle creatures. And time passes that way.Simply, fluidly.

And then Grindelwald returns – an army of dark creatures athis beck and call.

“Simmons, watch your six,” Newt calls, wand strikingviciously at an approaching enemy even as he keeps track of the progress of hismen. “Johnson, please do help Abernathy calm that Wampus, would you?”

The men and women of his team follow his orders withoutquestion. He feels strong, confident – a completely different man by comparisonto the one who led that first mission nearly a year ago. Once his enemy isdown, he evaluates Johnson, Abernathy and Simmon’s progress with the Wampus.Already they have the creature remarkably calmer – each using the subtle spellsand body language that Newt had taught them in order to ease the creature’smind. Newt grins.

“Good work!” He calls out. “Keep an eye on that Wampus andmake sure the next group takes it somewhere safe. I’m pushing ahead to AlphaTeam.”

“Yes, sir!”

He takes the steps three at a time. The hallways are oddlybarren all of a sudden. Silent. He blinks.

“That’s not right,” he mutters under his breath as he roundsa corner and unwittingly passes through a barrier he hadn’t seen. Immediatelyhe is blasted with a cacophony of sounds the barrier had been hiding. Screamsand the sizzling of spell work and the howling of mad men. He sees Tina on thefar side of the room, locked in heated combat with a wizard twice her size butobviously half her smarts. She has the advantage, it’s just a matter oftime. He sees Jenkins and O’Brien fighting in lockstep with another two goons –one of them is bleeding from a large gash in his bicep, but it doesn’t appearto be slowing him down.

Smith is lying on his back, glassy eyes staring at nothing.Newt swallows.

And at the center of the room, Graves is fighting withGrindelwald’s second in command. His footwork is uncanny, Newt always thoughtas much. Most wizards cast magic one of two ways – they plant their feet orthey run and hope for the best over their shoulder. But Graves casts magic whilehe moves; slowly, deliberately – the movement of his wand and his hand just asprecise and calculated as the stepping of his feet. He keeps his target offbalance with an ease that Newt can’t help but admire.

“Where is he?” He hears Graves snarl.

“Miss him?” Grindelwald’s second sneers, cruel. “I bet youdo. I bet you miss the way he beat you. The way he put you in your place. You’repractically trembling for it, aren’t you – so excited to return beneath hisshoe.”

And because he’s watching Graves, lost in this newinformation, he doesn’t notice Grindelwald approaching until the man alreadyhas him flying across the room and into a marble pillar. He shouts.

“Director Scamander,” Grindelwald purrs, eyes glinting. “Hasquite a ring to it, doesn’t it?”

“Grindelwald,” Newt snarls and scrambles to his feet, ribsaching.

“I expected better from the Director of Magical CreatureControl. You haven’t caught onto nearly as many trafficking rings as I expectedyou would, given your passion for creatures. Perhaps you don’t care as much asyou say.”

“Shut up!”

He flings several spells Grindelwald’s way, but the darkwizard simply deflects them.

“After tonight, the government will surely revoke any lawsyou managed to pass to allow these creatures in the states,” Grindelwaldcontinues, moving all the while – eerily reminiscent of Graves. Newt shudders. “Youcan’t obliviate an entire city again. Someone must be held accountable. Perhapsthis will finally be the last straw. Perhaps wizards will finally stand tall.”

When Grindelwald strikes, it’s with a precision so dark andso fast, Newt doesn’t even realize the man had cast a spell until he wassinking to his knees – bound and exhausted, energy slipping away through themagic that held him.

“I did not forget the way you foiled all my intricately laidplans, Newton,” Grindelwald purrs, obviously enjoying Newt’s weak struggles. “Theway your creature held me down. The way you tore away my face. And so it iswith the creatures that you used against me that I will bring down MACUSA and thiscity. And you only have yourself to thank for that.”

Grindelwald raises his wand level with Newt’s face.

Newt closes his eyes.

“Not that you’ll get to see it,” Grindelwald mocks.

Everything feels oddly silent, oddly slow. Newt breathes.

“Diffindo.”

He’s being knocked aside, but not by any spell. He opens hiseyes when he hears a scream and it’s not his own. There’s red on the floor. Somuch red.

He looks with wide eyes, frozen by thesight of Percival Graves crouched above him – eyes furious and teeth bared anda snarl locked in his chest.

“Confringo,”Graves growls, one hand extended, and the blast is so powerful Newt hears thewet sound of Grindelwald’s head on the far pillar. The dark wizard slumps to the floor,unconscious, and is quickly bound by an Auror.

Something wet patters onto Newt’s lap – something red.

“P-Percival,” Newt says weakly.

“Director,” Graves corrects, teeth red when he smiles, eyes blurry and unfocused, andfinally falls to his side – blood blossoming wickedly across his chest.

“No!”

Newt is on his haunches and beside the man in seconds,healing spells already on his fingertips despite his exhaustion. The battle iswon. Aurors scramble around them – rushing to get the Medical Team they had onstandby. Newt stays with the man until they arrive and ignores the steadydraining of color from Graves’ skin. The man is barely conscious. 

Disoriented.He stares up at the ceiling with glassy eyes that remind Newt of Smith, so Newtshakes him.

“Stay with me,” Newt says.

“M’not going anywhere,” he slurs.

He doesn’t go anywhere. Newt’s at his bedside when he finally wakes - a wicked scar spanning the broad stretch of his chest. Pink and pearly and painful. 

Newt is furious.

“Don’t ever dothat again!” He growls, trying to hold back the burning growing in his eyes.Graves blinks at him fuzzily, not quite altogether there beneath theweight of the painkillers he’s on. Struggling to focus.

“I should have known you wouldn’t thank me,” Gravessays, a smile on his lips. “I save your hide again and you never thank me.”

Newt frowns, anger growing.

“How come you get to be reckless and I don’t?” Newtasks, trembling.

“I wasn’t being reckless, Newt,” Graves says.

“How is this not reckless?!” Newt retorts, fingers onGraves’ scar.

Graves’ hand covers his and Newt stills.

“You took this job to protect creatures. To build a worldof peace for creatures and humans alike,” Graves says softly. “I took this jobto protect the people who make that sort of change happen. Those people – you – are my priority. I knew what I wasdoing.”

“T-that,” Newt stammers, drawing Graves’ gaze. Thensuddenly, the lithe Magizoologist punches him in the bicep. Graves groans. “Thatmakes it worse!”

“What?” Graves yelps, at a loss.

“A year ago, you told me I was invaluable,” Newt says,trembling.

“I did,” Graves concedes. “That’s why I—“

“You are invaluabletoo,” Newt says. “You don’t get to decide the worth of your life. You don’t getto just throw it away. People are counting on you. I-I’m counting on you.”

“Newt—“

“No! You don’t get to make rules for others and notfollow them yourself,” he says.

The room falls silent.

“You’re right,” Graves says gently. “I’m sorry.”

For a long moment, Newt says nothing. But neither doeshe pull his hand away. Graves waits. He knows Newt can feel the nervous tempoof his heartbeat.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but an apology isn’t enough,”Newt says finally. Graves smiles weakly. “You have to act on that apology,Director.”

“Percival,” Graves corrects.

Newt smiles.