#please send more when you can
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I’ve discovered my favorite genre of Bagginshield art is where Thorin is a lovesick idiot who is Losing It and Bilbo is unbothered or oblivious to Thorin’s suffering LMAO
#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#bagginshield#if anyone has more please send it to me I have like four rn#I know I made a post a while back talking about how I wish there were more posts that focused on each of their lives outside of each other#and I still stand by that but I also can’t deny the fun in a Important Dwarf like Thorin turning into an idiot around Bilbo#tbh this works even platonically. this guy has friends bc he’s lucky not bc he’s actually friendly#so I can imagine becoming friends with Bilbo is like ‘fuck now I have to be nice bc he WILL actually leave. uh. oh god’#love men who are grouchy and offputting <3#and Bilbo is oblivious not as a flaw but bc he’s just not wired that way and he’s just accepting that Thorin is weird#bc he has no basis of which to assume he isn’t just Like That sometimes same way the dwarves don’t know shit abt hobbits#and it’s not as like. Bilbo being extremely innocent either he’s just not thinking about it LMAO#and Bilbo Also doesn’t have a ton of friends (different reasons but he IS also grouchy and petty) and he’s just ‘?? ok’#they’re both fucking stupid and everyone around them is dying and in anguish#I particularly enjoy when a character who is emotionally constipated and stoic and whatever just starts losing it#not even necessarily in a sappy or angsty way just. those emotions gotta come out eventually#so for a guy like Thorin who takes himself seriously and is very closed off emotionally it’s fun to just imagine that facade cracking#meanwhile Bilbo is just like ‘you ok??’#Bilbo himself has some emotional issues so it’s double the entertainment
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I've been meaning to make this post for months now but hey, here is. Some of you may remember I made DVDs of OFMD a while ago. I rambled extensively about it here.
Quick refresher or in case you haven't seen them:
They have disc menues that play Gnossienne Number 5 and have individual episode pictures. Also there's sleeves and discs labels!
Why am I telling you this (again)? Well, I happen to have all the files you need to start your own basement pirate DVD manufacturing career on a burner Google Drive. So if you too wanted to have DVDs of our beautiful show on your shelf at home, you could download the files, grab a DVD writer drive and a bunch of empty DVDs and get right to burning them. No particular skill needed because the files are done and ready to go at a click. There's also a bit of a how-to on there that I hope is helpful for those confused. Piracy ho, friends!
#let's make more hard copies of our beautiful show#both because we all deserve them and also because physical media is great and fuck streaming#fuck wbd#burn a dvd!#or two#or six#it's actually six#please help spreading this around#there were a couple of people who wanted their own discs when I made the original post and I cannot send them around#customs will arrest me#I've had packages to friends abroad opened more than once#but I can do this#hello friends if you too want to own something tangible here is a bit of a DIY for you#ofmd#ofmd dvds#piracy ho!#teeny rambles
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idk if I've said it before, but your portrayals of both Rouxls and Queen are among my favorites, and the way they are when you combine the two is the sole thing that got me to say "yes" to queenkaard. When I first saw it in the game and it started catching on as a ship, I was like "nooo I hc him as gay," but then after seeing your stuff I was like "oh nvm I totally see this now."
i think hearing "i didn't see this ship before, but after your art i understand it and/or even ship it myself" is one of the nicest compliments i get, because it makes me feel like i'm representing something meaningful and sweet about a pairing and having people understand what i think is so great and captivating about them. i've gotten a couple asks like this and sometimes i forget to respond but i always really appreciate them :) thank you very much
#ask#deltarune#queenkaard#rouxls kaard#queen#art#doodles#conkreetmonkey#i mean its fine to draw ship art Just Cuz dgmw but i have Paragraphs of reasons why i like All my ships and it feels really good when i can#help people see the reasons why i think characters are cute together and why they'd work#i love feeling like im Doing something with my art. expressing something. explaining something. makes it feel meaningful#esp when i thought queenkaard was very Out There at first dhbsdjbhf i was like 'dude theres only gonna be me and 2 other people#who ship this'. and there was at first. now people dont think its a rarepair. i built this city goddammit. me and like 2 other people 😭#and im only half joking. i drew them so much because nobody else was. its still a rarepair to me. the fanart and fanfics are still#kind of sparse besides me tbh. but a LOT of people say 'i ship it because of cozy' and that makes me happy#there Are a couple fanfics on ao3 i havent gotten to yet only bc ive been tizzy about the gay car this year but i will read them eventually#anyway i still really love queenkaard i miss the blue people i cant wait to draw them more once the new chapters release aaaaaa#also since i mentioned i dont always respond to asks: i still read each and every single one of them#im sorry if anyone ever sends me something and i didnt post it. sometimes i go on ask-reply sprees and sometimes it just gets#answered months later dhbdsbjf. but please dont ever think i dont care about what you have to say i love hearing from you guys#and sometimes i just Forgor because adhd go brrt
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@profandomhopper i was going to reblog the original post this comment was left on but i felt it divorced itself from the original topic so much, you get your own post for giving me delightful permission to ramble about this. buckle in people this is long.
so, DC is a big fandom that expanses a lot of different types of content, and like anything, is subject to crossovers. the obvious ones like Marvel are for the reason of being a similar and equally popular superhero world, so it's easy to transpose the worlds onto each other and overlap the characters. both of these worlds deal with multiverses and endless, endless heroes. it makes sense and there's no real stretch to think Batman and Spider-Man could co-exist. i mean, there have been canon crossover comics. and even some more random crossovers like White Collar have pretty easy to trace origins, being an actor in WC was a popular Dick fancast back in the day so there was some bleeding over that led to a well-loved niche crossover space.
but Danny Phantom and Miraculous Ladybug are where it gets interesting. because at a surface, MLB sort of makes sense. it's a superhero world, you're following a teen girl superhero and sure the mechanics are pretty contained, but the crossover should make sense. but when you compare it to the crossover numbers of other superhero media like say My Hero Academia, Ladybug takes the *crown* with such a bizarre popularity. and of course, DP feels like it makes even less sense. sure, you *could* lump it into at the very least, superhero-adjacent media, but it's not a true hero world like MLB or DC is.
but, the thing to always understand about DC, *especially* the Batfamily (which is where the crossover content propagates the most) is this: a *very* good chunk of fans don't interact with the comics. i would venture to say even most Batfamily fans don't read the comics and actively talk about it. we've all read a very fandom big Batfam fanfic where the author's note mentions the writer has never touched a comic in their life. typically, these fans are either cobbling together their understanding from fandom content, or by frankensteining unrelated DC adaptations to understand each character. you take Bruce from Batman: TAS, you take Dick from the animated Young Justice, you take Jason from Batman: Under The Red Hood animated movie, you take Damian from the DCAMU Batman vs Robin, and you read some fandom metas to fill in the rest and well, you've got some sort of an understanding of these characters. read enough incorrect quotes, some genfic, a couple of character metas, and boom, you understand the Batfamily fandom enough to start creating your own content. and of course now. now you have Wayne Family Adventures so it's even *easier*. a pretty easy to pick up webtoon that's filling in all the gaps for you. but i've been in this fandom long enough to remember before we had WFA and even then, this was still a common, if not the most popular way, to ween yourself into the DC fandom space. you cherry-picked the canon you liked and then plunged into the depths of fanon.
i'm not here to make in depth commentary on if i think this is a good or bad thing. trust me i have that commentary in my head, but that would need it's own post. i'm very split on it and my feelings are complicated. my feelings on WFA are even *more* complicated. because oftentimes, the attitude expressed by these fans who are frankensteining this version of the Batfamily/DC world they have in their head is they don't *want* to read the comics. the comics don't contain the content they're after. and to an extent, i understand that. if you're looking for light-hearted vibes of the Batfamily all getting along and having the occasional hurt/comfort moments but in the end, they hug and make up, you're right. largely, you won't find that in canon. of course there are so many comics to recommend for Batfamily interactions, but you have to get specific. you'll find them interacting in small groups, Tim and Dick bonding here, Duke and Cass bonding there, but largely, the comics don't care to balance the ridiculously large cast they've given themselves. but fandom does. it's easy to toss them all in a blender and ignore the parts you don't like. the default argument to ignoring the comics or writing something OOC is always "well the comics are OOC and inconsistent too" which, while a flawed argument that massively misunderstand how comics work as a medium, isn't an entirely incorrect one. you could serve on a silver platter to these fans, an easy and accessible way to get into comics and they wouldn't be interested. it's not what they're here for. fandom is always character-driven above all else. it's driven by character relationships and dynamics. if someone wants to consume content where Tim idolized and stalked Jason as 'his Robin' and now is trying to help him rehabilitate and they're super complicated but have this long epic forgiveness arc, why *would* they read the comics? because they're sure as shit not going to find that dynamic in the comics. it's laughably OOC and not canon at all, but that doesn't matter. what matters is the sandbox. most Batfamily fans care *far* more about the sandbox canon gives them than the actual canon itself. feel how you feel about that, this really isn't being negative toward that attitude, but it is a common attitude.
so, you have Batfamily fans playing in the sandbox and building their own narrative. common fandom headcanons are so common, you could practically write a guide on how the fanon Batfamily works with how consistent people are about it. or you could just read WFA, which is practically the new manifesto of it. even now, with this sudden spike in people talking about canon accuracy and "actually this happening in the comics", they don't actually care about the comics, just what they can cherry-pick for fodder. (even if they rob it of so much context they're just as OOC as they were before. see specifically: the recent phenomena with Tim Drake going from the woobified weakest member of the Batfam who everyone needs to save constantly and he's the smart boy but he's also the one with a sad tragic neglectful past who gets overlooked being the way Batfamily fandom played with Tim for years. but recently, people seem to be pushing this idea of a ridiculously badass Tim, Tim who *totally* has a kill count because of his actions in RR (2009) if you take them completely out of context, Tim who bested Ra's and is even more badass than Jason and he's the 17 yr old CEO of Wayne Industries being cool and flawless it becoming the new fandom zeitgeist. neither of these versions of Tim are canon, and the second fundamentally misunderstands his arc in RR (2009) but the shift has undeniably happened and it's been fascinating to watch. the same thing happened with people suddenly deciding Jason isn't the "angry violent Robin", he was a sunshine sweet boy who was perfect as Robin. neither of these are true, but the second feels more transgressive and new to fandom from cherry-picked panels.) the point is largely, Batfamily fans would rather build their own canon than play with the actual canon.
and then, you have Danny Phantom. i'm not into DP and have no interest to get into it, but what i know about it via fandom osmosis is this: DP fans sort of also don't give a fuck about canon. once again, the canon of DP is a sandbox, not a rulebook. the concepts and the characters are the draw, not the plot itself. i've seen DP posts explaining characters who are essentially OCs, but have become so dominant in the fandom via fandom osmosis. there are concepts and ideas about how Danny's powers work and potential concepts with his ghost nature that either aren't in canon or only happened once in canon and fans decided to expand on that and doesn't care about it's own in-universe logic. i've seen a lot of DP fans also express they haven't seen the show and they don't have plans to see the show. because the show is just some children's cartoon with some inconsistencies and a simple plot, as you'd expect from CN. the show isn't the point. no one cares about it's plot, they care about it's characters. they care about pushing the concept of half ghost boy to a logical extreme and seeing what you can get out of that. can you make it weird and fucked up. how much can you highlight on his trauma and body horror. what identity crisis can you give him and how can you build his interactions with other characters in his world around that and also make those characters fun and unique on their own. sure, the skeleton of canon is there, but the meat lies all in the fanon.
Miraculous Ladybug also exists in this similar vein. the characters, the concepts, those hold intrigue. and not even mentioning the fact the original concept for this show was supposed to be aimed to an older audience, so you can see the bones of something a bit more mature and nuanced under this typical, villain of the week magical girl transformation show. the show itself is a bit shallow and that's not a *bad* thing, it's just the medium it exists within being aimed towards children. but the concepts of a teen girl who's basically a sort of chosen one, a boy who doesn't know his father is the big bad of the show, and their weird identity porn love... square thing. those dynamics are *so* complicated and such a fun sandbox to play in with character-driven fandom.
so, at the core, you have three fandoms that care more about the culturally accepted fanon than the canon, with a good chunk of people often not even consuming the original canon content. and well, DC is an *easy* world to transpose just about anything onto. a boy who's half ghost and fighting supernatural threats? that makes sense, DC has ghost heroes like Deadman already. a girl who has this magical item that gives her animal themed superpowers? i mean that's practically the same thing as Vixen's Totem so that one makes sense too. they fit in pretty easy, no needing to change the world to accommodate them. and of course, if you're a fan of *one* fandom where you don't care for the canon content and only like the fandom sandbox, chances are, you'll get drawn in pretty easily to another fandom with similar mechanics. if you can teach yourself the DP fandom rules/concepts, you can teach yourself the Batfamily fandom rules/concepts. and well, since there's so much crossover in fandom members, why not write the fanfiction? crossover fics will always exist, but with such a shared member base, you have a really big boom.
it's why the characters you see DP interact with in DC are *always* characters who are far more driven by fanon than canon. Danny and John Constantine is a *massive* concept. for people who don't read Hellblazer comics. my poor partner, @divine-dominion has lamented to me pretty often about finding DP content in the Hellblazer tag that is essentially turning Constantine into an OC. because whatever version of Constantine is being written about isn't one bit comics accurate, and really, isn't trying to be. and the same thing happens with Shazam. you watch Young Justice and understand him well enough, you get drawn in by the character concept that you just run with it. people put their favorite blorbos in the same place because hey, wouldn't ghost boy be pretty cool in a city like *Gotham*. how would Batman even react to him. and then, the shipping. because ages for the Batfamily can be easily hand-waved and moved around based on where you plop Danny into the timeline, you have your pick of the litter with him, and same with Ladybug. of course there are the most popular ships but largely, the world is your oyster.
i don't think this is the worst thing in the world for either fandom. it's not hard to filter out the crossover tags and scroll past content i don't like. and sure, i see the appeal of making your blorbos from two different places meet. i've got my drafts *full* of DC/MHA crossover ideas because well, i like them both and think that would be cool. i think my only gripe with it is when DP or MLB crossover content seeps it's way into the wrong tags. using the above example, if you're writing about Danny and Constantine but there's zero content of the actual Hellblazer comics, i don't think you need the Hellblazer tag, just the Constantine character tag. tbh i wish this extended onto Ao3 and people utilized fandom tags better. if you're writing Batfamily fanfiction that is very clearly and obviously WFA driven in characterization and concepts, i would far prefer those fics be tagged with the WFA fandom tag rather than the Batman (comics) fandom tag. because well, you're not writing about the Batman comics. and there's nothing wrong with that, but it helps if you don't confuse yourself for content striving to interact with canon more. (this especially extends to Young Justice, by the way. if you're writing for the Young Justice tv show please, please stop using the Young Justice (comics) fandom tag. i'm at my wit's end- /lh)
the whole thing is fascinating. i've got zero interest in entering DP or MLB as fandoms because that's not my speed, but witnessing it as an outsider is my favorite pastime. i see a *lot* of posts going around the DC x DP space that are helping explain to people who's who, what's what, and understanding the canon/fanon of both of these properties so others can better enter the space. which is not something you'd need in a fandom driven only by it's canon content, but it is sweet watching others try to help newbies enter the space. it's a very inviting fandom space, i think, whether you lament it's existence or not. they're just sitting in their corner with their blorbos, and i gotta respect that. the posts explaining the Batfamily to DP fans are always fun for me to read, even if i disagree with some of the characterizations in them because it helps shine a light on what the fans of this crossover regard as "important" enough about each fandom to be worth including those sorts of primers. very fascinating stuff.
#necrotic festerings#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover#dc x mlb#danny phantom#miraculous ladybug#batfamily#dc comics#fandom meta#fandom analysis#but i can totally write more of these analysis type posts bc i *love* this shit#it's like fandom anthropology#fan studies#love that shit and i have *so* many case studies i could write about cultural phenomena in the batfamily fandom space#bc you can tell by my. everything i'm a comics purist#but i'm not totally negative to fanon#i roll my eyes. I cringe. I send long rants to my loved ones.#but i live and let live and i'm not going to jump down a fanon post for being painfully incorrect. it's just mean and not how we behave.#like there's a difference that and between correcting ppl who say 'in the comics-' when they haven't read the comics#but most ppl aren't claiming their content is based on the comics. and i can respect that honesty#like you're just rawdogging it#i understand the appeal of it. seriously no shade it's a fun sandbox if you just want cool blorbos.#it's *not* how I do fandom but to each their own#and ofc i want comic accurate fanfic but i can find that on my own. it's not hard to do#some comic purists act like there's *no* comic fandom content and come on now.#it's pretty easy to tell the difference when you're scrolling ao3. let's not be unkind to content not made for us.#but i'm serious please do stay out of comic tags if you're not writing comic content. it's my only gripe with this whole thing.#besides that be gay be free.#be cringe. it's freeing i promise.#i jest about being sick of that green ghost boy and that ladybug girl in fandom but it's all silly. i really don't mind.
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bangtan boys in turtlenecks (10/??) ↳ cr. 0613data, dwellingsouls | bonus striped sope for @raplinenthusiasts:
#don’t fret we weren’t gonna get through august without dreaming of sweaters#turtleneck!bts#userbangtan#usersky#annietrack#heyryen#shirleytothesea#usermaggie#useremmeline#userdinnerthing#trackofthesoul#mine!#dailybts#dailybangtan#i can't believe i didn't notice that the most iconic jins he was wearing a turtleneck... i mean you can probably understand why i didn't bu#OKAY#and shout out to dasha for helping me finish this one :)#one day we might get an all stripe version but i hope this will do for now <3#ok y’all I am being so serious rn when I say I need help finding more turtlenecks#please send them my way 🙏#ok bye love u
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https://www.tumblr.com/louisupdates/754934426217152513/goodbye-faith-in-the-future-world-tour-272024?source=share
did he or did he not lose fans then?
I will answer this because this anon actually brings a concrete question to the table rather than just "hurhur but you're a larrie??" (tell me you can't actually refute any of our points…). Anyway this post shows the decrease in Louis instagram followers between the screenshots taken directly after the release of Faith in the Future in Nov '22, when he changed his bio to promote that album and the tour tickets, and now, when he changed it again to mention the current release. But I'm putting that response under a cut because I'm tired of the actual POINT of all this nonsense getting lost in a sea of made up things people insist are important:
There is no rational argument you can make to say that Louis has less fans now than he did 2, 4, or 6 years ago. You don't need a spreadsheet of details you need to USE YOUR EYES! He has gone from filling theaters to filling arenas and stadiums. His second album made a higher chart position than his first album. His festival has doubled in size EVERY year of its existence. And for that matter: his insta post engagement numbers remain about the same (despite the fact that older posts should have way MORE likes due to having been there longer, even aside from follower counts.) SO WHO FUCKING CARES ABOUT HIS INSTA FOLLOWER NUMBER???? Serious question: what does the word "fans" mean if these things aren't what matters? ALL of this quibbling about what he should do to make things better and people can't even see that THINGS AREN'T BAD.
Anyway to address the specific question- (con't......)
NO- HE DID NOT LOSE FANS. HE LOST SOME INSTA FOLLOWERS. THESE ARE NOT THE SAME THING. As I said above, literally what does it mean to lose fans if that number change coincides with him having higher sales, more audience members, and higher engagement than ever before? Whatever he lost ISN'T FANS. I wouldn't be surprised if a significant factor was something like a bot purge, but also yes: I'm sure a lot of casuals followed him around the time of his big album release and later unfollowed him. That's extremely normal because that's how casual engagement works, and why the definition of fan really matters. Louis and his team understand this and have referenced it repeatedly, talking about how lucky he is to have *us* specifically, to have the kind of dedicated fanbase he has, to have the KIND of fans he does who will allow him to do what HE wants. @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram named the issue of depth vs breadth with regard to fans a long time ago, and pointed out why having DEPTH is so much more important. It's like this- artists who are on top 40 radio have more numbers on things like insta follows, and for a time on sales and tickets. But those aren't FANS- they're people with a casual interest. And as soon as that person isn't being forced in their ears 10x a day, those people lose interest and stop supporting them, stop buying stuff and unfollow, and those artists end up doing the 'opener on the jingle ball' circuit rather than their own tours. One Direction as a whole, and Louis maybe most of all or near to at this point, have something MUCH MORE VALUABLE than that- DEPTH FANS. Louis has fans who will support him even if he takes years to release music, or stops parading around with a pretend girlfriend to stay in the headlines at least once a month, or completely changes his image and genre, and that is UNHEARD OF. It's ASTONISHING and worth SO MUCH MORE. And they get that! THAT is why he always bragging about us, why industry people he works with are always so agog about us, why he will do anything for US- not for randos. He is also growing his breadth- and it's OBVIOUSLY WORKING whatever his follower counts are, but that is always going to be secondary to doing things for THE FANDOM because that is his sustainable business model. That is what keeps him onstage and reaching number one. And not coincidentally, the things they do are also working to grow that- much more valuable- commodity. So the fact that that's exactly what these chuckleheads complain about- that he does things that are just fandom facing or serving rather than everything being aimed at recruiting casual fans- does nothing but betray how completely they, unlike Louis and his team, misunderstand the actual drivers of his (actual, existing, happening) success. Luckily for Louis, he and his team rely on their own data harvesting (they do a LOT of it) and growth metrics (they're off the charts) rather than the smug assumptions of random (mostly quite new to this) fans and the few bitter people leading the complaining about everything Louis does.
#louis promo#all this nonsense about this tag or that tag or this or that number is so getting lost in the trees#when the forest is RIGHT HERE: WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS WORKING#so for now#I'm pretty done with this discussion unless someone actually engages meaningfully with the content of anything I'm saying#rather than just repeating the same things- but he needs to tag more! or the even more boring-#but you're a larry! if you send me a bitchy response that doesnt actually address any points I've made#I will assume it is because I'm right and you have no rebuttal other than to act like a preschooler because deep down you know it#honestly the discourse around this makes me feel a little sad and scared about the state of literacy and reading comprehension#and just general analytical thinking#but I hope its just that no one over 15 spends their time sending hate anons about fandom#if I'm wrong please come engage in actual conversation! but otherwise... let's just... not#blah blah blah#anyway there's a reason Louis is always so afraid no one will be there for him and that he started out solo era playing those radio fests..#because we are IMPROBABLE we are UNBELIEVABLE we are NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN EXPECT OR COUNT ON#and making nurturing and maintaining that his number one priority ALWAYS is extremely correct and smart#actually#I was originally going to be like here are when there were bot purges here are other artists that have seen numbers go down etc#but then I was like WAIT WHO CARES. You're letting these people dictate the conversation... but the premise is stupid#it DOESNT MATTER#depth v breadth
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Because of current frustration
Happy fuck spiderverse year.
The art direction is in part ableist.
You can enjoy the movie and still say that.
Note: it's ableist because it's using common animation and color choices KNOWN to cause seizures (and death) in audiences. This includes people who don't have epilepsy.
I will never not be bitter about this because the first movie message was about "anyone can wear the mask" when it clearly was excluding people by simply making it impossible to watch this film in a safe manner.
If you got a headache after watching that film. That's a photosensitive reaction and it means you're not immune to these effects. A movie you love should not give you a headache or dizziness or disorientation. It should not give an above average amount of people seizures.
And those effects causing these symptoms should not be hailed as the reason the film is good.
Spiderverse utilises other aspects of comic art to already stick out.
Rapid Glitch effects, large bright high contrast red and blue areas covering the screen, prolonged moving patterns, and flashing lights are not what make this film look good.
#spiderverse#if you send me death threats over this post youre not being original nor are you the first to do that over this topic#seizureverse#i still hope no one watching this sequel has a seizure or migraine because it sucks#please leave the cinema if you start to feel weird#you can enjoy media and still say when aspects of it are not good#actually epileptic#epilepsy#you can send me asks if you're not sure what this is about i will explain in more detail if you want to#but also my blog has a lot of seizureverse postings and you will find a lot with that tag#anti atsv#anti itsv#spider-verse
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Today I got to have an entire 3 message long dm convo with Alex Hirsch. I am never getting over this high.
#Alex Hirsch#this is the greatest day of my life#I even managed to show total decorum#didn't even use any words like decorum#I wanted to. but I didn't.#didn't even use the word macabre. wanted to do that too. I used normal words that normal humans use#as to not sound like a complete and total tool#hopefully ahfkajgkkak#I restrained myself to only saying 3 messages bc any more than that and I'd have to publically execute myself for overstepping boundaries#and I didn't even use any key smashes! and only One socially acceptable emoji.#I can't stop myself from using emojis entirely. those are a disability accomodation at this point ahfkjskgjskgjak#hey are these normal things to think#I think so#I got his twitter message directly at the start of my train ride and I've been processing my emotions for the rest of the trip#I keep nearly flagging down the train attendants to be like 'hiiii can I tell you about the good news :) not in a jesus way I promise'#but once again: restraint 🙏#you're WELCOME train attendants#it was so funny though Alex was like 'lemme know what you want to have grunkle stan say!'#and even when given permission to talk I was like damn he's going to kill me if I send a message#but I sent it#and he was very very nice#and will be sending me the grunkle stan recording tomorrow (✷‿✷)#work is going to be physically impossible tomorrow#sorry customers please pardon me while I run to the produce cooler and scream at the top of my lungs for 20-30 minutes#fluffle talks#what's the opposite of emotional devastation. bc I'm that right now.
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ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)
so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.
anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)
If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.
To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.
The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.
I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.
so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you
#wow! that was crazy!!!! at least this is the neurotic overthinking website#so i hope you can not neurotically overthink what you did to make me unfollow you. and instead rest in our mutual finitude#the other day i had the experience of clarifying with a friend that i'm her best friend but she's not mine. in almost so many words.#(she asked who i'm closest to and i named a couple people here and away. then i asked her and she named a couple people and me)#she got teary but didn't have an anxiety meltdown which is huge progress for her! and we kind of acknowledged the difficulty and moved on#and kept hanging out and texting and loving each other#super weird experience but kind of like a lightning bolt of realizing things i've been intending for a while#we have to give each other the dignity of making choices even when the choices aren't each other. on a social level#we have a higher calling! all of us do! it sucks when the social stuff gets weird but we shouldn't let the weirdness distract from the call#and frankly once you start choosing the call over the world then the world's structures stop being at all compelling#for a neutral tool tumblr can be quite amazingly powerful for the Lord#but it is of the world and runs on some lies and i've hit a breaking point where i needed to confront those lies before i kept going#anyway. the point is. I LOVE YOU. and God has told me I have more urgent loves right now.#what an insane post to be making !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh wait edit to add! just to be clear i'm not trying to say don't message/reply/send stuff to me!#if i have to set a boundary i will but things are fine. just needing to reduce the dashboard noise#i highly recommend setting online boundaries btw. it's so much easier than stewing and stressing and wondering if blocking is justified#to just message someone and say ''hey you're doing nothing wrong but this way of interacting bugs me so please stop''#(which i've done only to followers never to people i follow. yet.)
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#ruffled feathers#sometimes work is so fucking frustrating#like i had this one kid hit another kid and then when i told him off he just mocked me and then the entire class laughed#and like. there's nothing i can do. i can't send him out of the classroom bc i'm not allowed (there's nowhere to send him)#i can't call his parents bc i'm not allowed (and my japanese wouldn't be good enough to speak to them anyway)#i told him he couldn't join in the game and he just didn't care. spent the game throwing stuff at other kids + ruined it for everyone#then he shoved some crayons up his nose/in his ears and started running around#which is. y'know. REALLY FUCKING DANGEROUS so i can't just ignore it#when i spoke to the japanese teacher she was like 'ohh he has adhd' and i'm like ??? he assaults others. that's NOT bc of adhd#i don't work at a school i work at an eikaiwa. i'm the only staff member on location (no assistant no receptionist etc)#i have 11 kids in that class. most of them are 6-7 years old#and the japanese teacher just lets them do what they want most of the time so it's basically impossible to control them#i just. i fucking hate this classroom honestly. the kids are so disrespectful#i know it's not just me like everyone i've spoken to says it's a Problem Classroom#but also. it makes me feel like i'm a bad teacher bc i can't control the kids#it makes me feel like i should just quit my job bc obviously i'm bad at it#anyway i'm really not looking for advice here i'm just venting so please spare me the 'have you tried' messages#i've already asked my supervisor and senpais for advice and the general consensus is we need more staff#and also for the jt to not actually tolerate 7-year-olds behaving like 2-year-olds#delete later
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ok heres that rv post i was saying i should make because im avoiding the thing im writing about them for today and dont want to think about it. this is stream of consciousness writing so its long and annoying. i like to yap. sue me. The non-exhaustive list of things about rv that's been driving me like pepe silvia levels of delusional the past few days (weeks):
1) the xfiles thing that everyone has taken to basically be a Whole Thing about rv and that mulder and scully are THE "will they wont they" (this is reaching ill give you that)
2) warren and gordon literally run away together, and acknowledge having done that
3) the last of what little there is before The Whole Red Valley Thing is devoted to them going on a tiny roadtrip in which they are running away together and that roadtrips are -- like running away together -- *also* a romcom setup trope and you can deny me this all you want but clive DOES reinforce that they went on a roadtrip by referring to a roadtrip movie
4) the buried like lovers thing
5) the similarity with which warren going back into hypersleep (its own kind of death) upon gordon getting shot kiiiiiinnddddd offff resembles the whole romeo and juliet thing. Does It Not?
6) gordon is canonically gay and his Choice of Favorite Nerd Media is lotr. that "will they wont they" thing? um. how many decades have people been discussing frodo and sam's relationship
7) one character reacting negatively to the other mentioning a friend they have offscreen the first character has never met is also a romcom trope
8) gordon literally gets teased about having a brokeback mountain moment with warren in the first season
9) can i mention the part where bryony is baaaaaasically warrens Total Recall Wife and gordon is his Total Recall Freedom Fighter? Please? Can I Talk About That?
anyway either im losing chess to a dog or ive seen the fucking matrix my media literacy is so good and Brother, let's take a look at who posted that qrt of gay red valley fanart with the sonnet thats all about how beautiful growing old with somebody and seeing the last embers of the youth you shared together is.
#red valley#also i refuse to believe the Friends Discourse was just nerd bonding shit. theres gotta be a Meaning.#can gordon end up being warrens bond girl in season 3 when they get to join aubrey setting off bombs please please ive never asked before#i also have some more but the total recall thing is the only one im giving you all for free that Will be referred to in my rship study thin#feel free to send me a ‘cinemasins *ding*’ in my inbox if this made you roll your eyes i wont even be mad
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Currently trapped in painting/rendering hell so I drew a Zenith as a break 👌 stay angry king we love you
#swtor art#swtor fanart#swtor zenith#zenith swtor#swtor companions#art#my art#please find peace though so you don't send more innocents to prison#still love you though but it's more complicated now#-tags that could be written by my consular#scratch that#-tags that WOULD be written by my consular#I usually try to stay as on model as possible when I draw swtor characters but I can and will add torn ears to Zenith at every opportunity#it just feels correct
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{ Happy 26th birthday to me. }
#{ I got scared awake by a phone call from my mother being like 'I'm coming over!' }#{ So I am fully awake now with a blip of anxiety that will fade very quickly. }#{ But other than that... I can't believe I'm already 26. }#{ More than halfway to 30. Gah. }#{ If y'all wanna send me birthday wishes or talk to me or whatever feel free to do so! }#{ Obviously you don't have to! Just if you want to. Please don't force yourself to just because you see this post. }#{ I'm waiting for my mom to get here so we can just yabber together about me being older. }#{ MY SISTER ALSO MADE ME A PUFFY CLAY FROG WIZARD WITH A RED HAT. }#{ It's the cutest shit ever. }#{ I love it and placed it next to my Tails figure. }#{ The Magical Wizard of Soybean is what we jokingly call it. }#{ Cause I have a Yu-Gi-Oh OC named Sawyer who loves frogs and her best male friend calls her Soybean as a niclname. }#{ Anyway- back to talking to Vira on Discord. }#{ Happy 7 Month Birthday to our new dog Leia as well. }#{ We share a birthday only once this month since her birthday isn't actually in August. }#{ I gotta give her a cookie when we have cake though. }#✠ [ ' ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴅs ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴏʀs. ' ] - ✡ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ✡
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Actually do you have any Responsible Bear Programming for black bears? I feel like I rarely see pictures of them with an actual carcass (unless you count the “car-“cass of a raised vehicle)
not on Polar Bear Sunday we don't. This is a PSA for everyone, not just you friend.
Any ask you send on Polar Bear Sunday will be responded to with polar bears. Polar bears are EXTREMELY territorial about their day. The team is not foolish enough to invoke their wrath by posting non-polar bears on POLAR BEAR Sunday.
So if you have an ask that is for non-polar bear bears, we suggest you send it on a day other than Polar Bear Sunday, so that it does not get bearried in the mountainous heap of ever-growing bearotonin requests that is our ask box.
#this is not a callout post for you friend#this is a PSA for everyone#if you want to increase the chance your ask will be answered (the team can only respond to so many)#and doesn't get eaten by the hundreds of other asks#please send non-polar bear related asks on any day that isn't polar bear sunday#it will not be answered on polar bear sunday#we will not risk angering the polar bears#not on their day#Polar Bear Sunday#is for polar bears#we'll try to circle back and answer this again more freely tomorrow when the polar bears have generously allowed room for other bears :)#ask
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i just. hit s+ rank in splatoon and i never honestly thought this would happen?? am i cool now.. do i get to be a part of the s4? do i get to be watered down to my running joke all the time?
#the last part is a joke but i do not see a whole lot of recognition of the s4 being. the s4#like yeah they were cool formidable foes in the s1 era and skull even beat goggles despite his plot armor#but now theyre just#there??#dont get me wrong i love their existence but#it feels like theyve been watered down at least a bit#skull is always just getting lost and army is almost always either the manual guy or the curry guy#thats. thats it thats their bits#skull also has the sweets thing#rider is sometimes a considerable foe too but at the same time the s4 doesnt usually consist of him so im not sure how much to count him#that being said it is a kids manga so i dont really expect it to lean too far into the formidable foes thing#even the xblood werent that scary in the long run and ended up goofy despite being who they were#i also get it in terms of fandom#i understand the appeal of something like aloha being cutesy dumb pink guy (who maaaaaaybe commited some crimes and it shows)#i also definitely understand the appeal of army having a thing for curry as well as the manuals#the manuals can be an endearing thing to write about trust me#but i also wouldnt mind seeing more things that center around the likes of the s4 and the xblood and even the best8 being the absolute best#of the best during their prime#reminder that s+ was the highest rank around when the s4 were introduced. same with the xblood#they were the strongest players and id like to see things that center around that#id like to imagine that moving on to the square and splatsville that the s4 would have had a chance to move uo and get into xbattles#i think of all of them skull and army would have the highest chances of actually making it to xrank and being successful#but honestly if mask and aloha could probably make it pretty well too if they got off their asses#and i think rider would excel as well being rider#he has his own kind of near plot armour i think#so do most of the big teams in my opinion#theyre the sort of doomed by the plot that forces them to battle goggles at some point lmao#maybe i could use this in a fic or au one day#maybe someone already has...#(please send to me if you know of any creators who have played around with these vague ideas of strength i wanna see em)
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I just want u to know that your art is my comfort art, I love looking at it whenever I’m feeling meh or tired, like right now lol.
Since I see that you seem to enjoy the ASL trio, I recommend reading don’t bury me with gold by anonymous on ao3. I think you’d like it, considering how you described your love for Sabo a few posts ago! It’s a Sabo-centric fic too!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25577467/chapters/62072158
HI HELLO YOU HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE
this is one of my favorite fics in the entire fandom actually. Holy shit. It’s funny that you should recommend it because I have ranted about it nonstop to my friends for a while about it
The characterization of Sabo is just so perfect in this???? The thing is that in canon, Sabo doesn’t end up having to choose between his nobility and being a revolutionary, mostly because his ties to his nobility are already cut by his amnesia, but also because he has no reason to remain a noble in the first place beyond the leverage they try to hold over him. Sabo as a world noble however Cannot leave his situation because it is the way he is the most useful to the revolutionaries.
Also their deconstruction of the way the world nobles operate and how they choose successors among the nobles is excellent. The fact that they actively look for those who are able to see outside of the conditioning they have applied to their children to have them lead and uphold their corrupt institution is so interesting?? Not to mention Sabo’s entire struggle between his morality and his nobility and how in this he is surrounded by a scenario that makes it all the harder to uphold his morality and how there are times when he does actually feel the need to make Imu or the elders proud and just ughhghshdghsdgjsdg
I love everything about this fic and I wish there were more of it lmao I went on a spree after this fic of looking for more sabo-centric fics that placed him in an inescapable position as a noble but nothing hits quite as hard as this fic
#thank you for the compliments and the fic rec!!!#I’ve exhausted a decent amount of the sabo fics because I’ve gone through and just filtered his character tag lmao#chances are if it’s got over…. 800? kudos I’ve already read it#but please feel free to send more fic recs I am always looking for more good fics to read#im happy to know that my art can serve as a comfort also :)))#if it’s any additional comfort#answering these asks with little doodles is my little comfort thing when I start feeling existential or slightly depressed#so in a sense it’s kind of mutual :)
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