#please critique
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My therapist told me to post this
in order to help me stop stressing about the quality (or lack thereof) of my writing. so, please, take a minute to read the opening of the first chapter of my novel and tell me what you think of it—if you’d keep reading, if you think it’s interesting, if you think it’s crap, whatever ya wanna say. here goes :)
Of course, the first day in weeks I entered the plaza just had to be the same day someone fell right out of the sky.
The snapping of branches overhead caught my attention just in time for me to stop and watch the rest of the catastrophe—a mess of heavy gray fabric plummeting from the top of the housing towers, crashing through every wayward vine or twig in its path. For a split second, it came to a stop, cushioned by the thick leaves of a pastry shop’s awning, and I caught a glimpse of scruffy black hair.
And then, with a final snap, the awning caved in, letting a boy with wide, guilty eyes come crashing onto the street in a storm of brambles, leaves, and someone else’s broken property.
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i lost my apple pencil... I have to back to using my finger ˙ᴖ˙
Heres a wip im kinda working on now. I probably wont be able to post anything done for a while between finishing up the semester and losing my pen.
The foreground i colored super quick with a finger so its kinda messy but it gets the idea across.
Please feel free to critique. Id love to hear how people think i could improve on this or anything i missed!
#art wip#current wip#wip#fnaf security breach#my art#security breach#fnaf fanart#please critique#critique welcome
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Inhume files: New roomy
Two guards are fully loaded up with full armored tactical gear and military-grade rifles at the ready as a third geared-up soldier moves a large metal box with a dolly through the pure white hallway. Doors line through the room all busting at the hinges as people throw their full weight to the doors in a desperate and futile attempt to break them down. Though you would be mistaken to call them people, as one cell door reveals through the bars a slimy hand dripping in goo shows. Claws, piercing bones, and teeth were all too willing to prove, monsters inhabit these cells.
Though these look just simple locks protecting them from certain death these guards held an air of calm from them. Not even bothering to entertain these creatures with a simple startle or accommodating space for them to lash from a safe distance. No. The only things these people fear were whatever was in the box they were transporting, given the distance they were giving it. No question the one moving the dolly was picked cause of a failed rock-paper-scissors contest. Their steps being drowned out by the screams and the scraping of claws along metal suddenly stop as they all turn their attention to the box
Guns cocked and pointed towards the perfectly cube box as it shakes only once. A small shake almost unnoticeable to the naked eye goes notice by the guards tasked to protect it. Their still breath piercing air like an arrow through the wind. Letting their breath go normal they get back into their bird formation, all a little bit more stiff than they were before. Until a black wispy shadow claw breaks through like fingers and shitty wet toilet paper. The cube metal now being nothing more than a one-way shield to whatever hosts it.
Though that would look like to anyone unable to see the outside and less prepared than the people tasked to take every precaution to keep it inside. leaving a few feet radius around the box the metal wiring connect to it trembles and glows with the press of the button from the dolly controller as a light blue glow covers it. Without daring to blink the goggle-covered eyes refuse to blink and give any attention to the monsters wanting a piece of them.
This goes on for a minute before it goes down and the shadow claw fades into the light. With a renewed vigor they all go back into formation and rush down the hall to a simple wooden door in the metal maze of hallways. Stopping their speed walk the dolly carrier stops and gently knocks on the door ignoring his own panic. with the pass of a few seconds, the door opens to reveal a dignified man dressed from head to toe in the highest of class clothes. a black suit with a pure white undershirt button up to the top. Black slacks tucked into the shoes to disguise the black socks. Hair waves into a way to make anyone question just what their preferences are, their confidence excluding their dominance. Just swaying their head in they order the guards to bring the package in
"So, this is the package, hope it was worth killing three teams" Their deep commanding voice struck the guards with renewed attention. Pouring whisky from their desk in four wine glasses. Handing each glass to one of the guards and finishing theirs before they finish their task, they look with hesitation at their provided drinks.
"I assure you as the commanding officer from every dead officer that has fallen in the, uh, last couple of days. It is well well worth every dime you and Mr. Hearst, spent." the guard said as they pad the box, a small electrical charge still expelling out to shock their leather gloves. Circling it like a vulture they continue to speak. "It has everything a buyer would want. Overwhelming power, stealth, speed, and something that every one of those horrible machines of death doesn't. This thing is just smart as me and you, hell I would bet it would be smarter. It can feel pride, plan ahead, and put fear in others but more importantly, it can feel fear itself. It ain't no dog, but when we're done. It'll bark like a coyote running from a crusty old man" he chuckles with a deep and ominous determination.
Sitting down on his swivel chair adjusting his nameplate to show it to the collection of guards, Mr.Morele pours another glass for himself and thinks in contemplation. Examining the damage to the contaminant through the dark liquid in his glass before taking another sip. "I have a better idea, bury the dead an-"
interrupting the guard cuts off Morele by saying "That's the thing, sir, with the exception of id and equipment, there ain't a snowball chance in hell we're burying them"
Raising an eyebrow and rolling his eyes more gives a tired sigh and asks "Why would that be commander Kody?"
"Well, that would be this little critter didn't leave anything behind. Ain't no bones, blood, or even corpses. Hell from what we know he ain't leaving shit. You go to your top-dollar buyers and well, you sir got the best dam assassin money can buy"
Morale gives a small hum, deep in thought. "I didn't realize you lost your mind Kody," he said closing the distance between the two, a fierce stare-down commence.
"Excuse me, sir, with all due respec-"
"Oh no no no, SIR. If it is good enough for you, your pay is on the line. This beast has 27 confirmed kills. That's nothing to scoff at, and far too dangerous to give a larger amount of food in a more enclosed area. Making those fun little pea shooters you got there just a tad more than water guns."
sputtering and red face Kody plunges his finger into his smug superiours chest. "Now you listen you no good penny pinching are you dare implying I do not know what I'm talking about. Because, my good sir ill like to show you just what I-" he fumes out before being swiftly interrupted by the person of wrath quickly switching wine glasses. Drinking the now fresh glass and turning to head back to his desk leaving the commander baffled
"That would be fun. Please show me what you know. it'll be a gay ol time. So tell me commander what this intelligent wrath of god would do in a mission" asks Morele sitting in his chair, slightly swaying in place as he clumsily puts his feet on his own desk. Knocking over various knick nacks and his own nameplate. The lower-level guards started to look at their glasses instead of the failing divorce in front of them
"Lucky for you, I got a hankering to do so. A customer calls you, they ask for a solution to some asshole, they pay a barrel full of money, and we send the bastard in. I'm sorry if that's just a bit too complicated for a city slicker like you but we gotta do the real work out there." Kody speaks through gritted teeth and folded arms. Covering his boss's view from the rest of the room as his shadow covers his neutral expression. Poring the last of his whisky in his cup and over his desk morale takes a large swing as Kody lets out his plan
"Great plan commander. How are you gonna get it back in?"
"Uh, come aga-"
"Get it back in commander. Im sure it'll be easy. Just hoping you won't be using a collection of 50 men. Cause if the general public found us out, sheesh it'll be bad." getting up Morele walks across to Kody using the desk as a crutch only to slip and know even more stuff off. Using the moment Morele gets close and slams his hand onto the commander forcing eye contact between the two "Feed the fuck to Coo you two while Kody and I are gonna negotiate his pay"
Nodding they begin to push out the dolly with the package and quickly rush to get out before the anger begins to target them for daring to have second thoughts. As they head out the door they hear the sound of a clearing throat, stunned with complete paralysis.
"My whisky gentlemen"
^^^^
Leading the package down a nearly identical hallway the speed walking began to slow to a lesily pace as the two take a new breath. The walls no longer being lined with different cells instead the same white paint of a mental institute. The rolling of the wheels occupies every sound in the hall. Yards and yards of tile grounds pass, and all the time the cleaning and maintenance seem to get worse and worse. The ground is chipped and stains of all different colors caking the ground. The wall's paint fades and peels away until only the concert bears itself to the world. As they proceed an uneasy feeling of someone watching and constantly piercing their very psychies.All ending with a single moldy rotting door, a silt opens up to reveal a glowing disgusting yellow eyeball with a pure void black iris.
With great speed, they swing the door open and throw the box and dolly down a large dark abyss where no ray of light dares touch. Slamming the door down they quickly rush out of this area of the facility not wanting to look back as the eye closes and once again vanishes from this plane.
Falling down at great speeds the packages finally stop falling after a few minutes, but instead of the great collapsing of the cube instead, it gives a soft bounce. It lays there waiting as it slightly moves from an unknown ground, before the sounds of crushing and tearing of metal as a creature from inside breaks through. Unable to be seen through the shadows the creature takes its first steps since it's been captured. Its crimson eyes seeming falling and shift from all around the body before shooting back to where its face should be.
"F- end. hue-men?" a deep grumbling voice echoes through the room, but no discernable start point can be pinpointed. The shifting grounds began to move at a much faster rate causing the containment unit and dolly to fly through the long room, not coming close to any of the walls in the ditch
"No. I don't think I'm close to anything lame like a human." grasping the large retracting organic tubes on the ground they speed through the cell away from the only entrance and exit. "What about you big gal, you're not like the rest. You're like me. Aware" soon, even the entrance couldn't be seen from the distance. Before suddenly coming to a complete stop, gripping tightly they barely manage from saving themselves from the same fate as their prison. They were forced to let go regardless as another silt opens open to reveal the same rotting yellow, but this time it was much larger, roughly twice the size of a jacuzzi, and much more. The whole room now glowed a faint yellow as they reveal the moving tubes were large royal purple tentacles all attatched to a truly great size squid, making the few objects in the room look nothing more than ants crawling on a giant
"No-no, ont a where." The loud booming voice still coming from every direction as all the eyes focus on the whispering shadow of the body of the prisoner. "Show me how."
#please tell me how shitty I am#please critique#Still new to this#im tryin my best#orginal writing#orginal concept#orginal work#inspired by a lot#urban sci if#urban fantasy#drunk for half of it#stop caring for the other#trying my best
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Animation exercise bc i havent posted in all of eternity sorry.
Contructive criticism very very very all the way welcome bc i need to do an improvement speedrun ok thanks bye.
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You know what? I want a whole post for this:
Sex Repulsion is not the same thing as, or an excuse for, Sex Negativity
non-negotiable!
I am a sex-repulsed asexual. This means that I am uncomfortable and repulsed by the idea of engaging in sexual acts. This does not mean that I have an excuse to be repulsed by other people's sexual attraction or the right to police how other people engage in or express sexual acts or attraction.
Young queer people need to learn the difference between sex repulsion and sex negativity, and actively work to unlearn sex-negative attitudes. Asexuality, even sex-repulsed asexuality, is and should be fully compatible with sex positivity.
If you are uncomfortable with the idea of other people feeling sexual attraction or engaging in sexual acts that do not involve you in any way, that is not sex repulsion it is the cultural Christianity and you need to seriously work on that.
#we as asexual people have got to have a talk about this because the shit i have been seeing is NOT okay#asexuality#sex positivity#this is largely intracommunity allo people can engage w/ it but don't be clowns#original post#500#1k#PLEASE STOP TAGGING THIS AS 'CULTS' YOU CAN CRITIQUE A RELIGION W/O CALLING IT A CULT I AM BITING YOU#this barely even mentions Christianity like someone does not need to be in a cult to be sex negative. and also not all religions are cults#please be normal#other than that y'all have actually been very normal abt this one so far thank you#2k#5k
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i now understand how certain people felt when harpy eda was revealed 😳
prints here
#toh#the owl house#toh fanart#lilith clawthorne#hooty#toh finale#watching and dreaming#captioned#WOW. WOOO OW. GOODNESS. MA'AM. QPR PLEASE??? PLEASE??? WOW#i both literally am her and i want to kiss her. Wow!#she is the ideal woman. her particularly early 20th century fashion sense. she's a big nerd. she appreciates history. she's aroace. she's a#bird lady who can fly. she has curly hair. Oh Jeez It Does Not Get Better Than That#sorry anyway i cant believe i won twice in a row with ladies (queen and lilith) who are specifically tailored to me and no one else /j#digital art#illustration#a small victory against my art block even though this took like 4 or 5 days to chip through. but i did it#there are some parts i feel a little clueless about so#critiques welcome#lilith please pick me up and fly my gay ass off into the sunset please im beg
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A Master Study featuring Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. In which Link hangs out with the two Zeldas post-game (Who do you think became the Queen of Hyrule?)
This was a difficult piece, but I'm happy with it!
Based on 'The Chess Players' by Jacques-Clément Wagrez (1902)
Information on inspiration and process under the cut!
Original piece: "The Chess Players" by Jacques-Clément Wagrez (1846-1908).
The moment I saw this artwork I immediately thought of Zelda II. One of the women is wearing a medieval-esque red velvet dress, and she looks a lot like the design I made for the cursed princess Zelda!
I thought it would be very fitting to reimagine this artwork in a Zelda II context, so I went ahead with it! doubles as a master study and LoZ fanart.
I learnt a LOT from making this piece! Since I worked on it digitally, I got and made brushes that acted as close to traditional brushes, and I also worked on the entire piece in one layer. So whenever I made a mistake, I'd have to paint over. No return. But it was a big learning experience! Learnt more about rendering silk and velvet by observing how they are painted and blended in the original.
Here are some WIP shots! It took a long time to get to where it is now xD It was difficult to finally pen down the right proportions and placement. I probably should've done a grid copy, but I opted to just eyeing it out all the way through. It was... hard. (lesson learnt?)
I read that in a lot of older pieces, they are made in greyscale, then flat colours are overlaid on top. makes rendering much easier. and it truly has! I probably should’ve rendered the greyscale version even more. Since there were still a lot of mistakes that I had to rework and adjust while colouring.
Very fruitful experience overall, and I’m just happy to make a grand-scale Zelda II artwork xD I’ve never seen one so I made it!!!
#please check the cut!!!!#loz#legend of zelda#Zelda 2#Zelda II#The adventure of link#master study#atelier hylia#shoutout to my atelier hylia friends for their support#this was a difficult one#very glad to have an artist community I can turn to for critiques and support <3#Jacques-clement wagrez#I should pair this one up with my other zelda 2 master study and sell them as prints huuuhuhuhu#but I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START#catprint?#if anyone has experience with selling prints dm me ;-;
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the problem with the systematic defanging of feminism into a consumerist subculture is that you can't talk about the inherent misogyny of cosmetic surgery or the makeup industry without morons coming out of the woodwork to tell you to "let women do what they want" as though "what they want" isn't just every kardashian's face morphed together
#or worse they call u a terf despite that these critiques go double for trans women who are held to an even more high stakes standard#s.txt#barefaced 'ugly' dykes 2 the front please
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sorry for the lack of lps dc updates, i’ve been struggling w some of the designs, but i think these ones turned out well. if i do say so myself U__U
#cassandra cain#guy gardner#diana prince#joker#batgirl#wonder woman#green lantern#lps#littlest pet shop#dc#dc comics#dc fanart#character design#dandoodles#lps hyenas don’t exist so i had to get a little creative#i think you can tell that’s what he is tho#rly rly pleased w my guy and diana. maybe hooved lps were my calling#idk how to feel abt the cass one yet. idk her as well as i’d like to so i feel like i’m missing a special smth#i don't like the bat symbol placement on her chest fluff but idk how else to do it 😞#btw whenever i post these lps i 100% encourage feedback/critique#i want these to be the best that they can be before they enter the physical realm!
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the writers have to hate malakai like his ex boyfriend is literally insane and threatening him while also dating and being obsessed with his ex girlfriend that he’s still in love with he can never win
#heartbreak high#heartbreak high spoilers#malakai mitchell#edgy bold font i will protect you#people critiquing malakai for getting pissy with amerie is so funny because if i saw my exgf making out with my exbf i would be mad too!#please please please bring this man back for s3 and give him a nonevil bf as endgame
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I have seen exactly 1 episode of Blue Eye Samurai and I am gobsmacked by how amazing it is. Mizu is already my everything. I am almost never so deeply invested so quickly in any media. I am obsessed. If the rest of the show is consistent in quality with the first episode then this show is Arcane level incredible, and I do not say that lightly.
#please DO NOT spoil me#i am trying to savour the season#and i am PICKY about my shows#i can critique tv all day and that episode just has me amazed and enraptured#the characters the animation the lighting the perspective the scale the action the emotional impact the everything there is so much to love#blue eye samurai#blue eyed samurai#this is the also when I make my romantic subplot oracle prediction that a triad is on the way (hopefully small scale and slowburn)#and as of now it really only works if this show is at least 2 seasons long— howEVER … mizu x taigen x akemi#mizu x taigen#mizu x akemi#taigen x akemi#mizu x taigen x akemi#i don’t really care about taigen x akemi but add mizu to the mix plus a zuko type arc for taigen and akemi as a lord/leader and oop it works#mizu/akemi#mizu/taigen#taigen/akemi#mizu/akemi/taigen#mizu blue eye samurai#look at me#one episode in and so confident about everything#sigh
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all aboard the Halloween Express!
#artists on tumblr#illustration#halloween#witch#werewolf#ghost#skeleton#train#train lovers do not critique my train pretty please#kidlitart#original
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>closeted gay
>shows up at the pride parade
#just. stop with the incest jokes. please.#helluva boss critique#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critical
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#ill always be over here enjoying my meal#im a hater at heart but#also this is a core lesson on how to give critique that we learn in art school - a lot of ppl never truly absorb it#ur not supposed to talk about what a piece could have been ur supposed to talk about what it is#a lot of ppl also have never made anything in their life and it shows#anyways...#4 minutes#delicious my compliments to the chef please may i have some more
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Listen there's a half chance the hands and stuff do not work this way, but simply?? pretend they do ig ??? Had to get some Vlad out of my system, so behold my fav ghostie on the planet! Wine drinker, petty plotter, my love, haha!
#art style be evolving without my consent ig. what can you do#the brainrotsreal's art tag ✧˖°:*♡#procreate art#fanart#digital art#vlad plasmius#dp fanart#dp vlad#dp vlad plasmius#i havent done dp fanart in a HOT min yeah#slowly waking up the DP brainrot beast up cause i need to be obsessed with something rn#chipped away at this ages ago i need a full composition piece or ill explodee#danny phantom fanart#i hope thats the show tag? not the character tag?#need to draw vlad & danny dynamics because they're hilarious. what if your uncle actively plotting your dad's death. what if you bit him?#do NOT look at the anatomy or anything too closely. i do NOT want critique please bruh im trying to draw again#look me in my eyes he always had a fluffy pony tail. he always had one. trust me i was there. also his beard whatever connects cause yeah..#i dunno why i just think hes SO neat#pathetic man. petty man. would kill a guy. actively trying to. became a billionaire but cant kill one guy that ADORES him. incredible.#artists on tumblr#digital artist#digital fanart#yapping in tags hours yeah
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Hazbin does fall apart in more or less ten seconds — questions I’ve thought of in roughly under a minute
Why is there a seperate character for the root of evil?
If there was no war in heaven how did the other habitants of hell ( the other princes, the goetia, imps and succubi ) exist?
Why is there no punishment?
Why is there literally only two guests in the hotel to rehabilitate themselves??
Why do people (humans) ‘worship’ Adam?
Where is god?? Where is the man who literally created the universe the cast exists in??
Also — how is Charlie meant to redeem people that aren’t suffering? Sure sinners are exterminated — but her actual ‘people’ that are hellborn aren’t. So what’s the point of going to war? It’s not like sinners can add much to the politics , economy or system of hell - they can’t even leave the pride ring?? Also non of the demons actually torture sinners so like??????
Oh also, last one I swear,
Why does Lucifer let Alastor talk shit TO HIS FACE? He’s the prince of pride, king of hell ect. Alastor is only more powerful then the average sinner, he’s not more powerful then demon royalty. And it’s not like he couldn’t support the hotel instead of Alastor?
So yup those are the questions I’ve thought of in more then ten seconds
#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel#anti vivziepop#anti spindlehorse#anti hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel critique#please don’t harass the OP btw#censored their name for their privacy#there are no flawless shows and Hazbin certainly isn’t flawless#it’s okay to admit the shows world building is flawed and like it I promise hazbin fans we can stop pretending it’s a perfect show
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