#picked up some food!
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egophiliac · 11 months ago
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I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!
I am not normal about any of these characters!
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#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#me just staring at the ceiling thinking about anime characters#if i start talking about the big stuff now it's going to turn into a huge rambling mess so in the meantime#i did not get sebek (yet) (i need to contemplate my gems...) but i did see his groovy#he is just full-on cinderella-sparkles bibbidi-bobbidi-booing into that armor! magnificent.#and i really don't have enough words for how much i love tiny malleus. he is perfect. he is precious. he is everything to me.#he knows who his dad is no matter what some crusty dead talking ectoplasm blobs say#(man no wonder lilia's got hangups if THAT was the general attitude he was getting)#('eww you got your dirty bat cooties on the prince' go sit in the corner with mrs. rosehearts you absolute garbage)#(...i did kind of love that lilia started to wake up because the senate said one nice thing to him)#(and he immediately was like 'this is not reality')#(sounds about right)#on a lighter note i was just. SO charmed by the little throwaway about ✨dragon lord consort esteemed diplomat revaan✨#who picks the vegetables out of his food and hides them under the tablecloth#everything i learn about this man makes me like him more. he was SO dumb.#now we know where malleus gets it from i guess#also unrelated but once again the fact that i named my mc tamago has had unintentional consequences#tamago take the tamago and tamago tamagao tamago#frikkin love that when yuu gives the egg back you can just be like 'i love him. this is my baby now.' 100% accurate.#also yuu continually referring to malleus as tsunotarou even to the senate = amazing. yuu really has NO self-preservation or awareness.#they fit right in with everyone else#<- see what did i tell you. huge rambling mess.#and i haven't even BEGUN to talk about MELEANOR -- (is dragged offstage by a hook)
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glowingtithe · 2 years ago
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hee hee i hope you are having a good day c:
-a mcr mutual
you want me so bad it makes you look stupid
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shirecorn · 2 months ago
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Tumblr keeps popping up to sell me ad free dashboard. But what it doesn't understand is that me and the ads have a sort of symbiosis at this point.
The guys from the fake gameplay trailers for a predatory mobile app are my blorbos
#the kings return to do WHAT?#oh my god they put him in a situation#last year he was solving fake puzzles and this year he is shooting hordes of zombies while trying to chokse#which gate that looks like all the other gates in all the other shooting hordes of zombies games#ooh whats my little phoenix wright up to?#begging to be drooled on by a giant cyclops with gianter boobs?#hell yeah you go little pheonix knight#endure or divorce! what will she pick! blond bimbo and boo monstersinc freeze to death in the cold water#my heart will go on#after their nasty dad ate all the food! the tragedy#oh heres another trailer with that same nasty dad! hes snorkling? where is my daccoon eyed woman WHAT THE FUC#SOMEONE POURED (POOP?) INTO HIS SNORKLE THATS SO TERRIBLE#theyre running away wherre is the bimbo oh its all frozen#everythign froze so fast and now nasty dad is in a winter coat and also changed his entire physique#now hes gathering logs now hes buikding a settlement#damn guess we know what happened after the divorce!#and thats how you know the winter log game is by the same company as (one of many) repair the house game#thry got nasty dad model#and he is GOING places#if yiu ever hear 'i finally found a game that is exactly what they show in the ads!' no you didnt#i would love to play the fat guy fighting a horse for the last drop of water#hes like me fr#but hes too busy building underground rooms with the hot chick who may or may not die#SPEAKING OF HOT CHICKS i love that game where you romance a level 10 babe#not a crook or informant thats her whole job description#level 10 babe#she cqn be romanced by picking her off the ground or by showing her money (which you dont have)#but the other guy does!#i wonder what halpens to her#oh good shes upgraded to mafia wife! good for her and she has some buns in the oven too she must be so happOH NO
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puppetmaster13u · 1 year ago
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Prompt 85
Dan is very grumpy. He’s not pouting, despite what the others would claim, he’s brooding. How many times were they going to get de-aged?! And this time they were all clones! He did not sign up for reincarnation, nor for getting turned into a literal baby. 
He doesn’t care if this world has heroes or villains or whatever, he’s going to bite the next person to pick him up. Happily if it’s one of the scientists currently scrambling around as alarms go off. 
Though he’ll happily do the same to the new colorful people too. Honestly he’s just feeling particularly violent, and it’s not like he can murder with his tiny baby hands. At least his so-called siblings look just as ready to attack as he does. 
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poppitron360 · 4 months ago
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I love the idea of Valgrace/Jasico where it’s just Jason, being raised by wolves, immediately clocking Leo/Nico as “the runt of the litter” and Mamma Wolf deciding that they therefore MUST be protected.
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shortkinglogan · 6 days ago
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Was thinking about this for a while,
I wonder what a potluck at the mansion looks like?
All the different foods!
Gambits is going all out that's for sure, he's makin gumbo no doubt and probably beignets
Would Logan bring meat? Or would he be silly and make poutine? No definitely poutine, he knows too many people who's already bringing meat because of him
Kurts bringing a potato salad with kielbasa of corse
Rouge made biscuits hell yeah!
Laura brought the chips and soda
Jean brought a chicken salad with raisins, she swears it's amazing
Scott said he helped make the chicken salad and didn't bring anything
Jubilee should definitely bring bao or pork buns
Kitty would bring ambrosia salad
And of course Logan invited Wade and he brought a pie Logan totally didn't help him make that everyone is scared to eat because it looks scary and so far only people with a healing factor have tried it (it's actually fine, it's a delicious Saskatoon berry pie, it just looks like a mess because Wade tried to do a fancy crust)
Feel free to add more
Made myself hungry and can't think of any others now 😆
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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago
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What would you choose? :0c
(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)
#I would get orange juice. black coffee. AND iced coffee ($3) because I love the variety of having multiple drinks#then sausage and scrambled eggs ($8). Then sauteed mushrooms ($3)....AND... hrm.. then spending the remaining $4 would be hard#I wish I could get waffles (as they are my favorite and are superior in every way compared to pancakes. donuts. etc.) but I'm not willing#to give up the other savory things just to get them. so... then maybe I could get a biscuit or english muffin? and just put jam or#honey butter or something on it so it can be my replacement 'sweet and bready' thing instead of something from the $5 row??#OR I could also just assume that having the orange juice plus iced coffee would provide enough of a 'sweet element' to the meal#(since I largely prefer savory foods. I only like a tiny bit of sweet added for variety) and thus forego any sort of#'bready' thing entirely and just get the bowl of beans/onion/tomato (I'd leave the avocado since I don't like the#texture of them really lol). THEN I'd have $1 left to get the milk or the black tea... increasing my total of random drinks..#which is always the goal of course.. as a chronic ''person who is sipping at 5 different drinks at their desk simultaneously always'' perso#OR... I could just do.. waffle. scrambled eggs. sausage. mushrooms. and black coffee and orange juice.. which is... okay variety#augh... so difficult.. As my Ideal Breakfast is like a buffet type thing or something where you have like 25 different things to choose fro#and can get a little tiny bit of everything. My eating style is very much like.. I'd rather pick at a small amount of a ton of#different things than just have a very large amount of only one or two things. Thats why I LOVE sample platter type stuff.#So it's like... augh... the ideal option would be a tiny portion of EVERYTHING actually lol...#Difficult to choose...#ANYWAY.. Also no idea why I added croissant instead of bagel. I only thought about that afterwards. I do actually like bagels.#I've only ever even had a croissant like 2 times in my entire life. Yet I've had many bagels. For some reason it stuck out in my mind more#when I was considering 'essential breakfast foods' somehow... how could I forget them... bagels my beloved...#Blame it on the hot weather... 'What in the blazes? The sun hath obliterated the concept of bagels from my miind!'#(< meant to be said in a silly overdramatic elderly wizard accent or something)#Also I don't think ''bowl of beans. onion. avocado. and tomatos.'' is necessarily a breakfast classic or something gbhjjh#but I was just trying to think of a versatile vegetable-ish side that could be full of common breakfast additions#so people could do stuff like ''oh I get the toast option and then the bowl of stuff and I put the avocado on the toast'' etc.#Like a mix and match. You could mix ingredients from different parts. You could put scrambled eggs and bacon and onion#on the bread or soemthing. etc. I just feel like something is always missing if a Full Breakfast Spread#doesnt have some sort of onions or beans or mushrooms or asparagus or spinach like... some sort of thing that isn't just eggs and meat and#bread.. you know? lol..#But then again.. I am the Sampling Plate Style Variety Lover and Tiny Portion Of Food Picker so maybe thats just a me thing.
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little-pondhead · 2 years ago
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After Danny is crowned Ghost King, Amity Park becomes detached from the mortal realm and is suspended between the two realms, much like Danny is. In an effort to combat this isolation from the rest of the world, Danny opens up his castle to the residents of Amity. (Not his Lair, just the castle he earned via conquest.)
Now the castle is more like a community center, and it’s constantly filled with both humans and ghosts coming and going. The Amity Parkers are already liminal, so visiting the Zone is actually healthy for them! The school takes the kids on regular field trips, ghost vs. human competitions get very heated, and overall everyone bonds over their shared freakiness and comes to terms with the fact they’ll never venture out into their world ever again.
But just because they’re detached from their world, doesn’t mean the residents of Amity can’t visit other worlds. :)
And it just so happens that their new community castle is filled to the brim with magic doors and ancient treasures to help aid on their noble quest of inter-dimensional grocery shopping.
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northstarscowboyhat · 7 months ago
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In your Lucky Clover AU, would Starlo join the Royal Guard because; A, it would give some validity to his sheriff claim and; B, so that he could get word and try to deflect any investigations for the missing human that the Royal Guard launch.
This was such an interesting ask I really had to sit with it for a while. Huge ramble ahead!
So, this idea fascinated me solely because this is a little bit of what the situation is with Martlet in this AU. After Clover decided to live in the underground post Pacifist ending, she put in her two weeks and quit, since she does NOT want to risk being ordered to kill or hunt down Clover, or any other humans for that matter.
It's something she struggles with a lot; not only because she's jobless for a while and probably has to ask for financial assistance from Dalv/Ceroba/Starlo, but also because she KNOWS being in the Royal Guard would give the gang some insider intel on the missing human investigations. Maybe it would've been better to tough it out in a job she wasn't content with just to get that info, to protect Clover? While her friends reassure her that this was the best decision, for her and for Clover's safety, it's something Martlet struggles with for a while, especially considering how some Snowdin Monsters side eye for her suddenly leaving her post and job.
Now, for Starlo. If the situation called for it, would Starlo try and join the Royal Guard? Perhaps if there was no other option! He's the kind of person to go above and beyond for the people he cares about, sometimes to reckless degree. However, I think his relationship with the Royal Guard is far too sour for him to ever be considered for a job with them, based on this line from Ceroba.
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Dude literally has made a habit out of locking Royal Guards in his town's jail. Undyne is NOT accepting him into her ranks LOL. (I honestly HC that although Undyne and Starlo have a lot in common and some similarities, they probably would hate each other if they met or were forced to engage in conversation with one another LOL).
As it stands in the AU, none of our main cast has any connections to the Royal Guard, as much as they would like having some kind of way of getting side info, in order to protect Clover. Martlet is in a weird spot with her old co workers, and Starlo's pre-Pacifist ending habits and way of running his town had pretty much killed any chance of that. The best they can do is just keep their eyes and ears peeled in order to ensure no Royal Guard ever discovers Clover secretly living in the Underground.
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c-kiddo · 9 months ago
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felt so immensely neutral on valentines day this year that when i thought about it i enjoyed a moment of silence, peace and tranquility
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why-the-heck-not · 8 months ago
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I have a handle on my procrastination
…. I accessorized Elvis (the sourdough starter)
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riacte · 8 months ago
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so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it
#ria.txt#i spoiled myself so at first i was like 'this is bonkers wtf are they doing in those last few chapters?????'#but then it was like. yeah. i see#love those ch when it's just clearly putting the squad into Situations#also. izutsumi#what i really liked was how tightly the protagonist and the deuteragonist were wound up in the overall themes#the plot the themes the conflict the characters it was very neatly connected#hence i am also now accidentally invested in whatever going on between laios and marcille#not just platonic not romantic not enemies i just think they work well tgt and deeply care for each other its great watching them develop#it's the leader + most trusted advisor / anxious girlfailure + the annoying freak she's somehow attached to vibes#haha that rabbit chapter with marcille. hahha i was like what the fuck man. it was funny and then boom whump [tears streaming down my face]#those shapeshifter chs were sooo much fun esp seeing other chara's perceptions of each other. stealing that#the changeling ones were great too elf senshi is the fucking funniest he looks sooooooo unserious#marcille's evolving perception with death starting with saving falin and saving the squad and her nightmares of outliving everyone-#-and her dad and her 'temper tantrum' and UGH when at the end she said she was fine with falin not coming back.... WAAA. OUGH.#i think dunmeshi handled the trope of 'prophecy of chosen one becoming king' pretty well and it makes sense why laios is the protag#the worldbuilding is so thoughtful as well i liked seeing different characters with different worldviews interact#very solid and well rounded series wooo#the main 4 has such a fun dynamic together#anyways. dunmeshi au.....#more like borrowing the worldbuilding bc charas are too nuanced for a one to one comparison#ren is like some prince of his own species but he's like 34th in line and no one cares about him so he fucks off to eat monsters#which is why he's both snobbish AND a total freak when it comes to his food taste#false is originally in for the money from ren and plans to scam him but unfortunately the cringefail swag captures her#martyn is Obnoxiously Clueless and thinks he's smart but he's not. he's resourceful but also pathetic and crazy#stress cant cook but she thinks she does so everyone goes (≖_≖ ) when she picks up a pot. they delegate her to killing and chopping duty#the mvp is iskall who keeps on saving everyone's asses and somehow has resources for everyone#i think ren is actually aware false is going to scam him but he has too much money to spend anyway and he thinks shes cool so he lets her??#and somehow she doesnt take the money and run. and goes back to eating monsters w/ the party. everyone is crazy
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imthursdaysyme · 1 year ago
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I feel like the kids in st would have simple small answers for “what do you want to do in the future” bc subconsciously or not they don’t think they’ll survive, I think Lucas would answer and say oh I want to be a camp counselor one summer and his dad is like….I meant a job son
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punkeropercyjackson · 4 days ago
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Not to be mean but if you throw pick me allegations at Piper yet ship Percy with Luke and the gods out of projecting onto 'him',it's time to look within
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mad-raptorzzz · 7 months ago
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[ID: A drawing of two SeaWing dragons from Wings of Fire facing each other. Tsunami has her back to the viewer and is smirking with her ear tipped forward. She has mostly medium blue scales with dark blue along her spine and snout. Some of her aqua blue bioluminescent face scalers are lit up. She is smirking at Whirpool who floats in front of her. He looks stunned by the audacity of what she is saying in aquatic. His green-yellow scales are lighter on his belly and darker on his back. He has large ears for a SeaWing, which are adorned with several large hooped earrings each. Over his left eye, he has a small golden monocle which is suspended in place by a fine metal chain attached to one earring and one eye brow ring. Between them, in glowing and floating letters, it spells 'Squidface'/ End.]
The scene that made me laugh is when Tsunami learns how to speak Aquatic and the very first thing she learns how to do is basically swear. Headcannon that squidface is the SeaWing swear that functionally means dickhead. Which I think fits Whirlpool well. I tried to make him as oily as possible. His ears normally droop under the weight of all the hoops. But he's so surprised that they're sticking up quite a bit. He also has some big ears for a SeaWing. All the better to put more hoops in. I may do a bit of a redesign at some point and give him gages because that would be sweet.
Love Tsunami. Next up is a scene that made me cry.
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skyloftian-nutcase · 1 year ago
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Gerudo Town (Dad Squad)
All leads had indicated that the Yiga hideout was in the desert, as it had been in the past. Abel shouldn't have been surprised, honestly.
The issue was that he didn't know exactly where the base was. But a group of warriors did.
Trust was nonexistent these days, in the years after the Calamity. Gerudo Town had managed to escape much of the damage, but it also was cut off from the rest of Hyrule as a result. The oasis was abandoned, only utilized by weary and lost travelers, but no Gerudo roamed the sands around it.
"So let's visit this town, then," Rusl commented after taking another swig out of his newly refilled water flask.
"We can't," Abel sighed, leaning against a rock and basking in the coolness of the shade. "The Gerudo is a matriarchal society. They don't let men inside their walls."
Rusl blinked. Blinked again. Bemused, he remarked, "Matriarchal doesn't mean sexist. Surely they'll let us in."
Abel bit the inside of his cheek. He'd made this explanation plenty of times to his men in the years past. "I don't think the Gerudo are necessarily sexist. They don't distrust or hate men. It's just their tradition - whatever the reason, only girls are born to Gerudo mothers. So they just... don't interact with men in their hometown. It's tradition at this point."
"Strange," Rusl muttered. "The Gerudo are... rare where I'm from, but their distrust was shared equally to all, no matter their sex. They just didn't like anyone who wasn't Gerudo."
Rusl's words reminded Abel that they had yet to address a rather glaring matter. Ever since they had raided the abandoned Yiga camp, Abel had been pondering the fact that the Hero of Hyrule who the Fierce Deity had been protecting was a different Hero from his son. The Hero of Time was a children's story, a tale of folklore so old that barely anything was known of it except that the Soul of the Hero had traveled across time to save multiple lands.
So little was known of the goddess' destined Hero that Abel had often questioned the validity of any of the stories. He'd had no reason to disbelieve them, but... there was little reason to believe them either.
At least until his boy had come to him holding that sword.
So if the Hero of Time was one of Links being pursued by the Yiga... that just led to so many questions. Firstly, how the hell had they managed to do this??
Secondly... what was Rusl's boy? A potential Hero who could turn into a wolf? Abel had never heard of Ordon, so perhaps this Link was different - not of the Soul of the Hero but a savior to his own land nonetheless?
And now, this talk of different Gerudo cultures. Not only were these Heroes real, they and their guardians were plucked from Hyrule's history and thrown here.
I wonder their opinions on the state of things, Abel thought bitterly. How utterly we failed to maintain what they'd fought for.
It was a good thing his son was in a coma. He knew Link wouldn't be able to stand the judgment from the other heroes, whether it was good or bad.
"Either way," Rusl said, rising and interrupting Abel's musings. "I'll scout ahead to see if we can figure anything out without talking to them."
"The desert is treacherous," Abel warned. "It's foolish to go alone."
"I've gone to plenty a dangerous place alone," Rusl reassured him with a smile. "I won't engage in anything foolish, don't worry. I'll be back before sunset. This is just reconnaissance."
Abel supposed another issue to ponder was how little Rusl spoke of his past when he was clearly more than a blacksmith who knew some sword skills, but now didn't seem the time to argue it. He'd seen the man hold his own in battle well enough. Sighing, he waved a dismissive hand, watching the Ordonian walk away.
Glancing back at the oasis, he saw Rusl converse with the Fierce Deity briefly before continuing. The deity stared at the water curiously.
Abel wandered over to him. "Is something wrong?"
"This heat is mildly draining," Fierce remarked, dipping a finger into the water.
"You're more than welcome to swim in it if that's what you're wondering," Abel said. "But people do use it as a water source as well, so I advise cleaning yourself first."
"It does seem ill advised to drink from water that people can swim in," Fierce noted, raising an eyebrow. "My greater concern is hydration."
Abel blinked. If he was worried about hydrating, then why didn't he just drink?
"How much water does one need?" Fierce asked. "I have noticed you're both drinking much more since our arrival. Is it a matter of body heat regulation?"
"Have you never been to the desert...?" Abel questioned in disbelief.
"I don't recall," Fierce answered mildly, voice growing quiet. "I believe once, in battle, I was utilized, but not long enough for it to be a great concern."
Ah. Right. The things this deity did and didn't seem to know... it made Abel have so many questions. First and foremost, how the hell he was still alive.
But secondly... utilized?
"Drink more," Abel advised. "The body loses more water through sweating, and we all sweat more in the heat. Even you are."
"I noticed that much," Fierce replied with a chuckle, as if he were entertained at being taught something so simple. He dipped the flask given to him by Rusl into the oasis and began to drink.
Abel sighed, squinting against the sunlight. Link would certainly need more water if he was being held here. Or, well, had been held here. It seemed silly to go to the desert when their lead had been near Akkala, but... all Abel knew was that the Yiga stronghold was here, and they had all woken at the other side of Hyrule. They'd not had any luck finding any hints of their boys the entire journey here, so they had nothing else to go off.
After several hours of silence (Abel wasn't a particularly talkative man, and despite the deity's curiosity, he usually wouldn't speak unless prompted), Abel recognized Rusl's wavy silhouette in the distance.
The brightly colored handkerchief he was using to wipe his face was new.
"Did you have any success?" Fierce asked.
"Not really," Rusl answered. "However, I did figure out a way that we could get in to learn more."
"Is there a secret passage into the town?" Abel asked, curious. He had always wondered. He had always respected things that were forbidden, but that hadn't meant he wouldn't imagine ways of getting around it.
"Not from what I can tell," Rusl said. "But, with my plan, you could walk through the front door."
Abel found himself both curious and skeptical. He crossed his arms. "Really?"
Rusl held out the colorful handkerchief to him. Slowly taking it, Abel recognized that it was not, in fact, a handkerchief.
"The way the Gerudo dress lends itself to disguise," Rusl explained with a mischievous smile.
Abel held the veil at arm's length as if it would attack him. "You want. To do. What."
"Well if they only let women in, we have to obtain information somehow." Rusl shrugged. "You're smaller in build than me, and your hair's all grown out."
If looks could kill, Abel would have cut Rusl into pieces. "Absolutely not."
"What is it?" Fierce asked.
"He's suggesting I dress like a Gerudo woman to get into the town," Abel hissed. "The answer is no."
Rusl furrowed his brow, clearly frustrated. "Put your pride aside, Abel. This is important."
"Do you really think something like that would actually work?!" Abel motioned angrily towards the deity. "We might as well let him stroll into town in such attire for all the good it would do us!"
The Fierce Deity plucked the veil out of Abel's grip. "Will this allow one to look like a Gerudo woman?"
"Not necessarily," Rusl answered. "The point is that it will hide that he's a man."
"The veil will, but the rest is fairly apparent," Abel snapped. "I'm missing a few key components, Rusl."
"Nothing we can't tweak a little," Rusl replied easily.
This was insane.
"What other attire did you bring?"
Abel turned to argue with the deity about the stupidity of this entire half-witted plan when he saw the mythical man trying to figure out how to put the veil on.
He can't be serious.
"Well," Rusl said slowly as he pulled out more clothes. "I did grab varying sizes. The Gerudo are far taller and broader than I expected, so their clothes might actually fit you better."
"Very well," Fierce said casually, finally settling the veil in the right place. He started stripping his armor without a care, and Abel thought he was going insane. Was this actually happening right now?! A war god was going to cross dress in whatever insane attire the Gerudo chose to wear and--
And--
You know what, to hell with it. Better him than me.
When the Fierce Deity had finished switching clothes, the other two stared at him. Rusl crossed his arms, examining the disguise carefully while Abel just felt his sanity continue to slip away. He wasn't sure he cared at this point. Perhaps he could at least find some entertainment from this?
No, no he couldn't. It was too stupid.
Count your blessings, he reminded himself. At least they actually believe you about the threat the Yiga present now. They believe you enough to even try this fool's errand.
The Fierce Deity, usually a foreboding sight in his pale blue tunic and silver armor, striking attention with the royal blue scarf tied around his waist, was instead adorned in fiery red, which emphasized the paleness of his exposed, muscular abdomen and shoulders. He wore loose, baggy pants and flat footed shoes, silver hair and eyes glittering against a red and gold veil.
"This is not going to work," Abel immediately commented. "He's too big."
Too big, too broad, too muscular. The women of Gerudo were strong enough to probably lift an entire guardian off its feet, but their muscles were still distinctly patterned differently. Women's shoulders were not so broad, nor chest and waist so box-like. Whether the Gerudo assumed he was one of theirs or Hylian, he would still look too masculine to play this part.
"They'll find out immediately," he continued, feeling his stomach churn at the thought that came next. Maybe I should do it... it would be more reasonable, but... no. This entire thing is idiotic. It'll never work.
Rusl, who had been foraging for something else in his bag, suddenly pulled out two hydromelons. "Here, put these in your top."
Fierce took the fruit without argument, and Abel stared, eyes widening. Well, Rusl was certainly committed.
"Giving him breasts isn't going to fix the obvious issue that he is a man," he argued.
"Of course it'll help," Rusl replied. "He just has to... well..."
Rusl paused, staring at the deity as he fumbled to stuff the fruit in his top without them falling out and splattering on the ground.
"Play the part," Abel finished for him flatly.
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Well... it wasn't an immediate disaster.
Abel and Rusl hid behind a dune as they watched Fierce approach the guards, who exchanged... baffled looks from what Abel could tell.
"Hello, fellow women," the deity greeted.
Rusl choked back a cough.
"This is not going to work," Abel hissed, his own voice strained in a competition between secondhand embarrassment, horror, and losing it.
"Hey, it would've been better if you did it!" Rusl whisper back.
Over my dead body.
Surprisingly, the guards shuffled aside to allow him passage after a few confused glances.
Abel stared.
"Ha!" Rusl huffed in triumph. "I told you it would work."
"You didn't know it was going to work!" Abel accused, turning to glare at him.
Rusl ignored him. "Let's see if we can get closer. We can peek over the far wall a little bit."
Abel sighed heavily, dragging his feet through the sand as the pair practically crawled around the edge of the town before climbing the wall opposite of the entrance. Abel half wondered why they couldn't just enter that way, but he supposed in such a small area they were bound to be noticed.
The pair peered over.
It was immediately apparent which one was Fierce. He was simultaneously blending in and sticking out like a sore thumb. His silver hair caught the sunlight, and his towering, imposing figure managed to outshine the Gerudo. Every woman who passed paused and gave him a strange side eye, but no one outright said anything. For his part, Fierce was standing still, surveying the area.
Abel groaned, pounding his forehead against the wall. "He doesn't even know what to do."
Rusl bit his lip, slowly climbing the wall and kneeling in the water that bordered the edge of the town. Abel hesitantly followed. Fierce immediately noticed of them with his superior eyesight. Rusl made little gestures, wiggling his fingers and mouthing words even Abel couldn't understand.
"What are you doing?" he hissed. "He'll never know what you're trying to tell him!"
Fierce nodded, walking slowly around the town.
"He's doing quite well for his first espionage mission," Rusl commented with a chuckle.
Abel groaned. "You're insane."
"Oh, Abel, you should lighten up. There are many ways to achieve a goal, it's not all about the sword."
"I'm aware of that."
The deity finally started to talk to women, disappearing in and out of the men's sight. Abel sighed, rubbing his face as he felt it steadily burning. Between the bright rays and the reflection from the water, he'd rival a Hylian tomato by the end of the day.
"Hopefully he can get some legitimate leads," Rusl muttered. "The sooner we can find the boys, the better."
Abel wanted to face plant into the water with the heat as bad as it was. Instead, he splashed a little on his face. "Yes, well, you're forgetting something very important."
"What?"
"Our esteemed deity is a war god with no idea how mortals function. He's probably going to ask them how they braid their hair."
"Come now, don't disrespect him like that. He's not an idiot."
"I didn't say he was an idiot. On the contrary, he's very curious. That's the problem."
"He'll focus."
Abel hummed, immediately thinking of his wife, Tilieth. Rusl clearly wasn't used to the mischief an inquisitive mind could stir up. Not to mention the deity wasn't exactly subtle. He was certain the deity's concern for his own Link would drive him forward, but he was likely to get distracted as well.
Assuming he could even keep the act up.
"A voe has been spotted! Up there!!"
Abel and Rusl both jolted, eyes wide as they looked down to see guards running their way with spears in hand.
"Time to go!" Rusl said quickly as the pair leapt over the wall back into the sand and scurried away.
Hours later as the sun cast long shadows and brought a chill to the air around the oasis, Abel paced anxiously until he and Rusl both caught sight of their companion's return.
"What did you learn?" Rusl immediately asked.
Fierce pulled the veil and shirt off, clearly having grown uncomfortable in it, and headed for his armor. "Mating customs are strange."
Abel immediately burst into laughter, vindicated. He honestly hadn't expected anything else. The day was wasted, but he supposed he could get what entertainment was available from it. Even he hadn't expected that to be the first thing out of the deity's mouth.
Rusl frowned. "What...?"
"Did Uli, your wife, assert her dominance to you, or is that a Gerudo custom?"
Abel's amusement multiplied tenfold, and he wheezed as he doubled over. Rusl stared at the deity in horror.
"I seem to recall you both spoke of varying mating customs in that village, after all."
Rusl immediately face palmed. "This... those are not the details you were supposed to be investigating."
"Fear not," Fierce continued, slipping on his trousers and under tunic. "I also learned the location of the Yiga hideout. One of the women reported having seen two boys and a wolf as well."
Abel and Rusl snapped to attention, earlier amusement forgotten.
"The Gerudo claim that the hideout was set on fire," Fierce explained. "They investigated it and discovered our heroes. My little hero apparently did not let them near him or his companions, but they were all alive as of one week ago."
One week. A million things could happen in that span of time. Link could have died in that time.
"Does anyone know where they went?" he asked breathlessly.
"The guards tracked them for a few days until they left the desert."
"They left the desert a week ago?" Rusl repeated. "That... so we must have--"
The Ordonian let out a strangled, frustrated groan, turning away as he shook his head. Abel felt similarly. They'd just missed them.
He wondered if the encampment near Akkala had been a more recent lead, after all. Then again, it had taken them a week to get here.
"We need to leave," he said. "The coolness of the night will be good to travel through in the desert."
The other two didn't argue. Rusl was growing frustrated and concerned at how long it had been. Abel was panicking at his son's condition. The three set out within minutes, determination set on stony faces.
Hylia... I... haven't prayed lately, I know, but... please...
Protect him. Protect... protect them all.
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