#people should stop leaving me alone
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
redg5 · 8 months ago
Text
I’ve been left alone again so it’s time for “random thoughts that seem to have taken over my brain” TM:
Why is there two Collector Mirrors? There is the one Belos had, but there is also the Trappers’ mirror, which by the time we see it is already broken. What was the point of there being two mirrors? Who made the mirrors? And why was one broken but the Collector still trapped?
Ok, so we know that the Trappers’ mirror is broken by the time we see it. We also know that the Collector’s mirror that Belos had breaks when King frees them. When King, I guess, astral projects himself into the In Between we see what looks like shards, of which look similar to the mirrors, floating around the Collector’s prison.
Tumblr media
I kinda have to ideas of what this could mean. I think no matter what, the mirrors we see are meant to be a communication device. Either between Archivists, or whatever you wanna call the Collector’s species, themselves or between them and the Trappers.
If it’s between the Archivists and the Trappers then they’d only need two mirrors. This would allow the Trappers to contact the Archivists when they found another Titan, and allow the Archivists to give the Trappers orders. Of course this is under the assumption that the Archivists formed the Trappers, not the Collector, which I think makes more sense anyways when it comes to the Collector as a character. Sure, you could say they made the Trappers and somewhere along the line there was a disconnect in communication which lead them to hunting Titans but there is still that picture in the Archive House.
Tumblr media
So the disconnect could get you the “even when those trapper jerks started acting weird” but it doesn’t explain this photo which implies the Archivists themselves started the Trappers. So with the assumption that the Archivists created the Trappers, the mirror could have been used to give/receive orders.
However this doesn’t really explain how there are shards around the Collector’s prison. So, if the mirrors are used to talk between Archivists, well there are at least four older Archivists.
Tumblr media
Maybe they each had their own mirror to talk to one another. If that’s the case, then the Collector is probably too young to have one himself. That means there could be upwards to four mirrors and maybe if one of them breaks it’s no longer able to communicate but is still somehow connected to the other mirrors. This could explain why we hear the Collector’s laugh in Edge of the World when the Trappers are about to sacrifice King. Then the main question would be how did the Collector bring them into the In Between when he was trapped and how did the mirror shatter?
I’m less confident in the four mirrors honestly but oh well. It still gets me to how the Trappers’ mirror broke. Maybe their mirror was used to trap the Collector and that’s how it broke. We already know they break when set free, what’s to say the same can’t happen when reversed? Not to mention we aren’t really given a clear answer on how the Collector was trapped anyways. I don’t think one of their siblings could have been trapped as well because both the Collector and Papa Titan make it seem like they were the only ones left at that point.
Idk. This is all just speculation that I felt should be typed down somewhere. I don’t even know if this is coherent anymore. Or if it ever was.
12 notes · View notes
kurthummeldeservesbetter · 2 months ago
Text
imagine viktor didn't mean to start the cult but the people he healed just keep coming back and building homes, starting farms and other shit. like he wants to heal people but they wont fucking leave and he's too awkward to tell them to leave because they're so happy and grateful.
like this was supposed to be his solo healing trip with astral vision sky and instead these people wont leave him tf alone and no one's called him by his actual name in weeks. all he wants to do is heal some shimmer addicts then send them on their way so he can explore the arcane but now hes being roped into meetings about dome structures and irrigation methods.
jayce comes into kill him and hes like thank goddddd jayce please tell them to leave i cant. they call me the herald and for a few weeks i though they were calling me harold and i was too tired to correct them now its gone too far. they keep asking me if we should add livestock to the farm. jayce i know nothing about farming please help me. jayce they're too nice tell them to leave.
34 notes · View notes
pocketsizedquasar-3 · 3 months ago
Text
you know. white liberals would be far less annoying (still deeply annoying) and far less difficult to take seriously (still deeply difficult) if they stopped lying to themselves and everyone else about what they were doing. ‘cause y’all either sound completely stupid and removed from reality at best or violently callous at worst.
(and before anyone fails their reading comprehension here, i am not telling anyone to vote or not vote or who to vote or not vote for. get off my dick.)
but no, you’re not doing “real leftism” by voting for kamala (something i have actually seen countless people say. “real leftists” would vote for kamala!!1!!1!! if you don’t vote for her ur not a “real leftist!!!!”). that’s not what that is. words mean things. you’re actually engaging in pretty textbook liberalism. it’s not “real leftism” to vote for a genocidal fascist who is actively employing genocidal fascistic policies both overseas and domestically, and who has pledged gladly to continue doing so. (again, bc this is the bad reading comprehension website, i’m not telling you if you vote for kkkamala ur not a “real leftist” (mostly because that’s meaningless); i’m saying that that act itself is not a """leftist""" action). if you feel the need to justify what you’re doing to yourself by pretending you’re doing ~real leftism~, stop.
you're not “stopping fascism” or “saving democracy” or whatever else. you’re not “stopping fascism” by voting for a fascist. you’re not “saving democracy” by voting for a fascist. if you genuinely can’t see in this current moment that kamala harris & the democrats are fascists, you are deliberately ignoring and excusing fascism as long as it’s happening to nonwhite people. it is willful, deliberate ignorance at this point and it is violent. you genuinely do not see victims of fascism unless it happens to white people.
you’re not “protecting palestinians” by voting for kamala. you’re not making their chances better or being better for them or improving their conditions. you’re not “more likely” to sway kamala on palestine; you can’t even threaten to withhold your support for her because of her wanton slaughtering of palestinians. 13 months of ongoing genocide and ongoing mass protest movements and multiple polls showing that she would literally guarantee the win in key swing states if she would just call for an arms embargo / ceasefire as part of her platform have not swayed her. she constantly, constantly reaffirms her willful, enthusiastic support of this genocide. she has said over and over again that she will not end her support for israel, that she would not have done anything differently than biden, that she has no intentions to stop sending israel arms and money so they can keep slaughtering palestinians and now lebanese. you are not “protecting” or helping palestinians by voting for her. keep their names out of your mouths.
you’re not protecting """minorities""" or """poc""" either. not when the candidate is a cop whose administration has already funneled billions of dollars into the police and the military, who is priding herself on wanting to create the most lethal military, on being tougher on the border&immigration than trump, who is happily continuing to perpetuate racist atrocity propaganda to justify the mass slaughter of palestinians, who continues to reaffirm and support the escalation of imperialism and war even elsewhere in the so-called middle east, who is gladly seeking (and securing) endorsements by racist white supremacist republicans (like dick fucking cheney. come on), whose administration has been for four years enthusiastically accelerating the climate crisis, whose campaign has been littered with examples of both their supporters and the politicians themselves being virulently racist. you’re not protecting us. you’re not helping us.
your candidate wants us dead. your candidate wants me dead. your candidate wants my people in iran dead. your candidate wants my sister peoples in palestine and in lebanon dead. your candidate is actively orchestrating their slaughter.
kamala might be better for you, white liberal american. fine. vote for her if you wish. no one is stopping you. but stop white knighting about it. stop pretending you’re doing this for anyone but yourself. stop lying to yourself and everyone else about what you’re doing. stop speaking over us the with fucking audacity that you’re somehow doing us a favor, and stop talking down to us, palestinians especially, like they are children who need to be ~explained~ the right way to save them. stick your white savior complex up your ass.
vote however you want, but stop lying about what you’re doing and who you’re protecting.
and if you want my vote too? fucking earn it.
#us politics#politics#genocide#kamala harris#liberal#joe biden#palestine#israel#racism#quasartalks#if dems wanted me to vote for them they’d stop being so fucking racist to me & people like me. they’d do the literal one (1) thing that the#statistic vast majority of usamericans want. but they won’t. they care less about winning the election — and less about /doing their job/#(you know - responding to the wishes of their constituents they represent) — than they do about being able to continue bombing hospitals#and burning children alive in tents. they would rather blow babies’ brains apart than win the election. they KNOW. that they would GUARANTE#A WIN. if they would STOP SLAUGHTERING PEOPLE. and they DO NOT CARE ABOUT WINNING ENOUGH TO DO IT. they dont care abt winning the election#enough to stop slaughtering civilians.#why should i care then? if they don’t? if they clearly don’t care enough to do the single thing that would guarantee the win?#you’re asking me to care about people who care more about killing me than they do winning the election. be so for fucking real.#and leave me alone. leave us alone.#vote for whatever you want. but keep our names out of ur mouths.#i’m going to try to have this b the only actual post abt this i make#but goddamn. dems are so disgustingly violently racist and you get madder at the ppl they deliberately denigrate than u do them for-#-alienating swaths of their voter base. y’all are a little too excited abt these racist maniacal genociders.#we see the way you celebrate racists. if kamala wins and you’re doing anything but breathing relief that trump is gone and strapping in to#actually 'pressure' kamala like u said u would? if i see any of you freaks Celebrating?? celebrating these racist wastes of space?#it’s on sight lmao
28 notes · View notes
lostlegendaerie · 5 months ago
Text
it is still so baffling for me for widespread fandom opinions to have gone from "these two men grew up together and were basically brothers before their tragic separation/betrayal, omg OTP (Steve/Bucky)" to "these two men grew up together and were basically brothers before their tragic separation/betrayal, so shipping them is incest (Diluc/Kaeya)" in about eight years
31 notes · View notes
lesbiansanemi · 21 days ago
Text
Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no ☺️ it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly ☺️ perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed#and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but#like…. 900 dollars….. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get#her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp#but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
8 notes · View notes
cybergothvox · 1 month ago
Text
At the end of the day, is kin just someone who identifies as their kintype or not? Is it anyone who actually identifies as their kintype, or do they have to perform all these 'correct' behaviours and social dances to prove that you kin- pardon, that you are kin- correctly?
#beep boop#sorry i got fucking salty on this last one bc its fucking annoying people reblogging a version of that post with dumb misinformation about#how introjects work and whoes entire argument is 'well kin as a verb doesnt work for literally everyone therefore you should stop using it#person who it works for'#when my partner and i both already took down why thats a bad argument but no one bothers to check the fucking notes#and its most useful for fictionkin anyways and then a bunch of dragons and canines are saying well i dont have a use for it#so therefore its bad!#on his post about how HE PERSONALLY USES IT and people turning into like hes commenting that eveyrbody and their dog should use it#LEABVE HIM ALONE#LEAVE VALENTINO ALONE#sorry. i dont mind discussion but it pisses me off when shit we already explained is being ignored#And saying you wouldnt invalidate someone for using it while coming onto someones post about how they personally use it#and admonishing them for doing that#hm.#and this tying back to my very origional post on the topic#which was about how coming at people for how they talk makes the community hostile#regarudless of if you like it or not#can you . consider. minding your bees neez?#and everybody all up about the harm kff do meanwhile using kin as a verb doesnt make you kff and you can spread correct info while still#verbing it#and second of all i have seen new questioning otherkin literally harassed and driven out of wanting to every interact with the kin communit#because of the hostility twoards people who use 'incorrect' lanauge#WHIHC WAS WHAT I WAS ORIGIONALLY TALKING ABOUT#BUT NO ONE WANTS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT DO THEY?#IS DOING DAMADGE TO HE KINMUNNITY SUDDENLY NOT IMPORTANT NOW#IF YOU DONT GET TO GO AROUND AND ENFORCE SOME RULES?#kin discourse#kin as a verb#anyways if you encourage people to be alowed to police behaviour in this way#which is what you are doing if youre saying no one should be allowed to do it which is what the argument people are making is
8 notes · View notes
sttoru · 2 years ago
Text
ima tell u this now : if u hate on x reader fics, block me cus by doing that you r doing us both a great favour 🤚🏽 ion need any of ur negativity on my blog because this is a safe space for people who do enjoy x reader fics goodbye
55 notes · View notes
storfulsten · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
eaouuugh
118 notes · View notes
kumakuma-circus · 7 months ago
Text
just randomly remembered that during my like 10+ attempts at the shadow yukiko fight i more or less consistently ran out of revival beads so yosuke was just dead (well unconscious but whatever) on the ground for like half the fight gfhfjvhfhfhd-
#puppy rambles#persona 4#p4#as much as i love him he's not always the most useful. that fight is one of those times-#still always keep him in the party though. perfect p4 team to me is yosuke teddie and naoto#i haven't gotten to naoto joining the party yet but i love her. trans icon. vibing naoto is the best thing to happen to the persona 4 fandom#and yosuke and teddie are my favorites of the investigation team thus far. the others are all very close but they're above the others#dunno why i like yosuke so much. souyo is def part of it#and teddie is very very silly. idk why people hate him so much like yea he can be kinda annoying but he's only existed for a few months#he doesn't understand social cues yet. he's just autistic leave him alone vhgbhmfhdf- /hj#i feel like a lot of persona characters have autism vibes but that's probably at least partially just me projecting#at the very least i'm sure we can all agree that aigis and marie do. autism arcana#that's. probably why they're my favorite girls ggyfubhngd-#aigis is easily my favorite persona character. she's cute and also silly :3 and bisexual i love the bisexual toaster and her doors <3#(aikoto + hamugis polycule for the win. makoto and kotone aren't dating obv. ryoji's also dating both of them separately#)#and marie is cute and also silly i'm totally dating her. love how persona technically lets you polyamory so long as you don't date everyone#i have to max her social link for the golden-exclusive content anyway so might as well#‚‚‚ this post got derailed. i like the part where i talked about my beloved persona 3 bisexual polycule#p4's def the best persona game i think but i love p3 very much too. makoto kotone aigis and ryoji are unsurprisingly my faves#really love yukari too. i spent several hours trying to figure out how to add mods to p3p so i could date her as kotone#it was not successful. i'll probably get it on steam when i inevitably play it gghdhchvhv-#and i'll get reload at somepoint too. probably on steam at least first so i can use the kotone mod i need my girlie#makoto is also great i love him. emo non-binary icon. but also silly girlboss. they're both so mentally unwell#that reminds me of a drawing i have in my drafts i should post that#oh also it's aikoto week apparently??? which is very poggers. idk the prompts but i need to draw my sillies regardless#i do slightly prefer hamugis but they're both very very cute to me. the toaster has two hands she can kiss both the doors-#idk why that joke's so funny to me. i should stop now-
7 notes · View notes
frostbite-the-bat · 10 months ago
Text
this appeared on the side while watching a video and holy SHIT yall need to leave ppl alone and get a fucking LIFE holy shit what
Tumblr media
10 notes · View notes
gotta-bail-my-quails · 3 months ago
Text
man i thought i moved out to escape my family but it turns out i've jumped from the pan into the fire because holy shit my guys what the fuck??
#at least at home we have people competent enough to not flush wet wipes and tampons down the toilet#let alone FOOD???#and we don't leave our dishes out for so long by the sink that they start to RUST#like ok my lil brothers make a mess sometimes and accidentally shat on the floor a few times but at least they're fucking children why tf#should i deal with shit water because of your incompetence#and yknow i can deal with noise. im the noisiest at night at home b/c i always go shower late but im not fucking SCREECHING and chatting#so loudly you'd think i was at a concert or some shit#and this bitch?? can't comprehend i just want to not have crumbs all over the couch???#like girl. how did this become a slight against you. why would i ask you to keep the couch clean b/c you slept there once or twice#BITCH I CLEANED THE COUCH COVER ON MY OWN DIME *BECAUSE* I KNEW YOU MIGHT SLEEP THERE AGAIN & WANTED IT TO BE CLEAN FOR YOU#YOU NOT ONLY INSULT ME BUT ENTIRELY MISCONSTRUE MY KINDNESS TOWARDS YOU??? WHY WOULD IT BE DIRTY B/C YOU SLEPT THERE???#you can't make this shit up i hate having roommates holy hell#only slightly made up for by the fact i get a room to myself these days#the other one smells like weed all the time and the other other one doesnt wash her hands properly after using the toilet + keeps her dishe#out by the sink + doesn't pick her hair up#also i'm the youngest so that's just even sadder#i was also the youngest last year and bitch. you have no idea#this is what being the eldest sibling does to a mf#not really related but they made the ugliest doormat ever i wish i had been there to stop them from that atrocity#and why do they not take their shoes off. girl i mop the floors like every 2 weeks#it's fucking clean trust me just take them off bitch#am i being holier than thou? probably but fucking DESERVED#i can't be taking care of people two years older than me like this. yall have too much fucking drama
3 notes · View notes
leapinarmadillo · 12 days ago
Text
my review of Moonwalk: hot mess. ★★★.
#i will refer to it#but oh god... it's just#1st of all. the added afterword from 2009 should have been a FOREWORD bc it gives you the context for how this book was made#so they did have a real writer put it together based on long transcripts of interviews one of the publishing people did with mj#if those tapes exist or pieces of then exist i need to find them. i think i've seen some floating around#bc ... the way it's written sounds very michael. it's not well written. so i'm surprised they even had an actual writer do it#but that makes me think maybe the writer just pulled a lot of exact wording from the tapes?#i hope that's how it happened#like the publishing lady said i Also wish michael had been devoted to this project. this could've been really good#i'm interested in anything that comes straight from michael so ultimately i'm just grateful he did a book at all#and really WAS involved in it#but it just. it's a mess. it's disorganized. it's disjointed#it just does not deliver in so many ways#there were so many times i would read a couple paragraphs and be like. wait What. that went Nowhere#there are really wonderful parts of course too#first of all i'm happy to hear him talk about parts of his life he didn't necessarily talk about that much#i find everything he says about motown and esp the mid-late j5 motown years Supremely interesting#everything written about music and dancing and performing is great. seeing the way he thinks about those things. divine. enlightening.#the thing is. the tone is extremely defensive and passive aggressive throughout the whole book#which is amusing and i mostly like it. michael jackson was one petty and spiteful mf. he loved being right and he reiterates that a lot#but bc of the press treatment of more personal things like his appearance and relationships. those parts are just. eugh#like when it comes to music/dance/performance he can defend himself no problem. concrete evidence that he's fucking awesome and he knew it#he brings up dating and stuff and it feels like he was like. floundering. maybe he just couldn't decide how much to share?#idk it just feels like. he won't outright SAY some things but he'll sort of hint at things. and i can't tell if what he's hinting at#is the real truth or him being defensive and wanting to give the impression that he was 'normal' so people would just leave him alone#i can't tell. i really can't. i wanna just believe him but i'm like. wtf do you mean. and then there'll be inconsistencies#like WHAT R U TRYING TO SAY. you might as well just tell me what you WANT me to think and what you want people to stop bothering you about#ok anyways#it definitely feels like they rushed to get it out asap#i have like 10 questions for every page. i feel like a writer/editor should've been working with him in that way
2 notes · View notes
waterfallofspace · 2 years ago
Text
Smoke In The Breeze, You In My Lungs.
The one where V/ash gives W/olfwood a gift, and W/olfwood gives V/ash a show. Feat. sneezy W/olfwood, and smitten V/ash. (Shipped, though not entirely ‘dating’, just more like ‘will be dating.’ Pre-dating. Also known as head over heels for each other, secretly). Also there’s totally a few not so secret moments about it~ 
First time attempting T/rigun S/tampede, so the characters voices are still new to me, hopefully this will be an acceptable addition to the AMAZING collection of V/ashwood fics already on here! For anyone bothering to read this, thank you~ Hope you enjoy~~
(References to smoking and swearing, incase you don’t like those) 
Characters: V/ash, W/olfwood, and a surprisingly cool desert night.  Word Count: 3.5k ~~~~~~~
The first time Vash remembered seeing Wolfwood smoke was almost immediately after meeting him. Since then, he seemed to always be either stuffing a cigarette between his teeth, crushing one on the ground, or somewhere in between. Despite this, cigarettes remain just as expensive as always, and Wolfwood remains the same short on cash grifter. Turns out addiction doesn’t pay for itself.  That’s why when Vash saw the pack of cigarettes sitting on the counter of a bar they had passed through on their last round of plant repairs, he had asked the man they were attached to where he’d found them. Turns out, there was a peddler in this town that sold rare and exotic types. Vash had gotten his money together and managed to afford a single pack. Tonight was the first time since then that the opportunity had presented itself to offer the gift without too much explanation needed as to its meanings.  “Hey, Nicho-” Vash starts, a light shove in response nearly sending him over the edge of the rock they find themselves balanced on. “Watch it Blondie, I told you, unless we’re alone, it’s Wolfwood.” Vash lets their eyes meet, before gesturing to the desert around them, barren aside from the car they’d ‘borrowed’ for this little trip. “Oh, yes, of course, I must have forgotten about the invisible forces watching us from- ouch! Okay, okay, sorry.”  The laughter in his voice doesn’t go unnoticed, a sharp smile in response forming on Wolfwood’s face. His smiles always had this edge to them, as if simply a touch from his lips would be enough to slice you open. Staring at him in the moonlight, Vash nearly thought about testing the theory. “Hey, blondie?” “Hmm?” “I assumed you had an end to that sentence you started before? Unless it was just a veiled attempt at getting yourself sent careening off a real high rock for the fun of it?” “Right, sorry. Yeah, I just… here.” Vash reached into his pocket, pulling out the pack of cigarettes and sticking them in Wolfwood’s hands, not missing the baffled look that slipped across the normally fixed features. “As payment, for that bread you spotted me the other day.” “You mean… the piece of bread that we got as payment for the job…?” Vash feels his hand graze the back of his neck before he even registers that he’s moved it. “W-well… I mean I guess… just consider it a gift then!” Wolfwood looks like he’s planning to say more, but once his eyes have finished tracing Vash’s face, he’s decided against it. Settling instead for flashing him a smirk, and pulling out the first one. Sticking it between his teeth, Wolfwood leans towards him. “Light me up, blondie.” A blush spreads like wildfire against Vash’s cheeks, and he pulls out the lighter Wolfwood had tossed him a few towns back, bringing it carefully to the cigarette. The glow of the flame lights up the mischief in Wolfwood’s eyes as he inhales, then gently blows the smoke right at Vash’s face.  “Hey-!” Coughing, Vash waves his hand in the air, giving Wolfwood a playful punch in return, laughing a bit at the grimace he receives. “Bit rough there, Blondie. Hm.. these taste a bit different than normal, are they the regular packs I get?” “You’re the one who blew smoke in my face! You’re lucky I’m wearing my sunglasses, or that would have gone right in my eyes! And um… I think they’re a different brand maybe?”  Wolfwood hums lightly, choosing to focus his attention on the first part of what Vash said. “Why are you wearing them at night? Are even the moons too bright for you?”  “Wha- no! I just got so used to the feeling of them on my face that…” Vash rubs his neck, offering a sheepish smile,  “It starts to feel weird without them. Not quite like being naked, more like walking around without a shirt on. Technically acceptable, but still quite weird. Feels vulnerable almost. Though sometimes if I- hey, you alright?” Wolfwood’s eyes have been captured by a far off look, his head slightly tilting back until- “hIH’ktsSHH’yue-! hAH’ZSHH’oo-!” “Oh, bless you!” With a rough sniff, Wolfwood brings his wrist back down from where it had assumed position under his nose. He gives Vash a sharp grin, taking another drag from the cigarette in lieu of a thank you.  “What were you on about then?” “Hm? Oh, it was nothing really. Honestly I don’t even remember where I was going with that.” “Alright.” And with that, they’re back to staring out at the desert sky. Not a cloud in sight, but somehow, it was darker than usual. ‘That wouldn’t normally be a bad thing, but… it makes it harder to see him’ Vash thinks, allowing his eyes to trace over to Wolfwood. The light of the cigarette glows faintly against the darkness of his clothes. His eyes though… they shine without any light at all. Somehow, despite being dark, Vash has always noticed the glow they seem to give off. “Hehh- hH’kttZSHH’yuee-!”  “Ble-” “Nohhht- not done Blondieehhhh-! hEH’ZZSCHH’OO-! hahh’ASHH’yuee-!”  “Triple bless you!” “Cute, needle-noggin.”  Vash smiles, the laughter dancing in Wolfwood’s eyes filling him with warmth, despite the cold air. “You alright though? Something setting you off?” Wolfwood gives a deep sniff before answering, apparently trying to see if he can smell anything unusual. Unfortunately, he’s already way too stuffed up to let anything pass, including air.  “Can’t tell. Doubt it though, likely just something irritating my allergies.” “In the middle of a desert…?” “You’d be surprised at the kind of flowering plants you can still find ‘round here. One time I walked into a town that had a full blooming cactus- flower- thing. Still don’t know exactly what it was, but damn it was potent. Was sneezing nearly the whole night, but it was too late to go find another place to stay.” Wolfwood seems to shudder a little at the memory, his hand coming up to rub at his nose as if even the thought of it was starting to irritate him.  “Pretty sure I woke everyone in that motel, got some real dirty looks the next morning.” Vash laughs, dodging a punch thrown at his good arm. Wolfwood gives him a glare, but there’s no fire in his eyes. Only warmth. The cigarette he’s been smoking has reached its last legs, and Wolfwood crushes it, before pulling out another, leaning in once again for Vash to light it. “Might as well treat myself to a few tonight, it’s a gift after all, right Blondie?” Vash obliges, lighting it up and letting his head tilt with a nod, partially to agree, mostly to hide the flush starting to fill his cheeks at the mention of the gift. Thankfully, he’s soon distracted, as Wolfwood lets out another itchy gasp, this time barely managing to turn away from Vash before the sneezes break free. “hihh’ZZSH’yuee-! heHH- hAH’ktSHHH’ooo-! hh’RRUSHH’ueee-! Fuck- hah’ASHH’ooo-! Hehh… ihhh’hEH’ZSHH’OOO-!”  “Jeez, Nico. Bless you, are you alright?” A shiver runs through Wolfwood, his cheeks slightly pink as he turns back to face Vash. “‘Scuse me. I’m alright. Just somethin’ tick-hhH’ZSHHH’OO-! Oh god, not doohhhne!”  Vash wants to turn away, give him some privacy, but something about the vulnerability of the display has him captivated. Wolfwood’s eyes are fighting to stay open, fluttering against the depth of the tickle. His mouth hangs open, breath hitching wildly as his nose practically trembles. “hHH’KSHH’yuee-! Huhhh- hEH’RSHHH-ISHHH-ZSCHHH’ooo-! Wheww~ Ohgod- iHh’NGXttt’shiew-!”  Desperate to stop the onslaught, he attempts to stifle the last one, Vash not missing the shivers it sends down his spine. Both of them know what a stupid choice that was, as Wolfwood can do nothing but gasp against the cold air, before ducking into his arm with another rapid, yet softer, fit. “hhH’ishh’iew-! tiSHH’iew-! hehh’ASHH’iew-! Hehh- hH’DTshhh’iew-!”  “Bless you. You really shouldn’t hold them in like that, you know it just makes you sneeze more afterwards.” A blush spreads across Wolfwood’s face, Vash not missing the way the dark eyes refuse to meet his own. “Yeah, yeah. Thank you Dr. Blondie, I’ll keep that in mind.” The tone is light and teasing, but there’s a deeper mood to it that Vash can’t quite put his finger on. This isn’t new to him, Wolfwood quite often uses humour or charm to mask deeper, actual emotions. Deciding to let him keep what dignity he has left after the fits, Vash just offers a sweet smile, and a tissue from his pocket. Wolfwood greedily reaches for it before pausing, and gently handing Vash the cigarette to hold before grabbing the tissue.  Offering a ‘thanks’ over his shoulder as he turns away, he roughly blows his nose, Vash wincing at the congested sounds. Turning back with his mouth still slightly hanging open, ‘likely to breathe’ Wolfwood gives Vash a tight smile, before taking the cigarette back. “Are you sure you don’t know what’s causing this? You’re not getting sick, are you? You could tell me if you were, ya know. It’s not a bad thing to admit-” “I’m not sick. Just itchy.” “And stuffed up.” There’s a pause, Wolfwood seemingly taking stock of his symptoms. Vash attempts to do the same.  “Yeah. Still, it feels like allergies. If I was getting sick I’d be feeling it in my throat by now.” “Hm… normally you’d be coughing by now too.” Wolfwood shoots him a look, and Vash blushes a bit, rushing through an explanation before he can stop himself. “We just spend a lot of time together, and I noticed that usually when you get sick you get a cough pretty quickly- not first though, first comes a sore throat- usually I can tell because you don’t talk as much- not that you talk too much! You just talk more than I do sometimes, and well, when you’re sick you don’t, and that’s how I can tell it’s starting- but yeah usually the coughing starts before the sne-” “Blondie, take a breath.” Vash chuckles nervously, aiming his gaze at the ground where the crushed cigarette lays, still slightly smouldering, so he grinds it a bit further into the rock. “hH’ZSCHH’ooo-! hehh’ktCHH’iew-! haHH’DNNGT’shhh-!”�� “Didn’t we just go over th-” “hIH’ISHH’iew-! Tishh’iew-! hH’ZSHH’iew-! heH’ashh’iew-! HH’zshh’IEW-!” “-this. Bless you.” His tone is teasing, and Wolfwood shoots him an exasperated look, rolling his eyes dramatically, though Vash can’t quite tell if that was meant for him, or the sneezes that seemed to still be dancing through his sinuses. “Hehhh- hH’HDT- guhhh…”  “Still need to sneeze?” “Whaahhhht do you hehhh…. hH’IHH-uhhhhh what do you think?”  Vash blushes, the desperation in Wolfwood’s words simmering in his stomach in ways he’d rather not dwell on. Instead, he reaches over and runs a single finger down the bridge of Wolfwood’s pronounced nose, smirking at the way his eyes tear up immediately. He manages to keep enough wits about him to aim away from Vash’s hand, but doesn’t even attempt to cover as the sneezes blast out of him. “HH’ZSCHHH’OO-! hah’ASHH’ooo-! RRUSHHH’UEE-! HAHH’ZSHHH’YUEE-! Hehh… hehH’KTSHH’ooo-! hh’zzUSHH’ooo-! Jeez, ‘scuse me. Thanks for that, Blondie. They were really tormenting me there.” “Bless you. Seemed like you needed a little help, is all.” “Yeah. Damn, still itches something fierce. Really don’t know what’s got me so irritated.”  Vash glances around the desert once more. Nothing catches his eye, the vast open space still empty of anything more than sand and their car. “We seem to be the only things around. Unless you’ve suddenly developed an allergy to sand. Oh god, that would be- “hEH’KISHH’ooo-!”  “Exactly! Took the words right out of my mo- ouch! Okay, okay, jeez. No need to beat me up! I’m not the one causing this.” They pause for a minute, Wolfwood’s eyes watery and glossed over, but Vash’s suddenly wide and frantic. “Wait, you don’t think you’re allergic to me, do you?! I mean, I’m the only thing around, and you’re having an allergy attack, so it figures that you have to be allergic to something nearby, and since I’m the only thin-” “Blondie, you’re giving me a headache.” “Sorry…”  “Don’t worry so much. I’m not allergic to you. I’d be long dead by now if I was, what with how much you cling to my side.” “I’m pretty sure you’re the one who just decided to invite yourself along on everything I do.” “Regardless of the details, my point stands. I can’t possibly be allergic to you. Besides, it only started recen- hehH- hold on-” Wolfwood pauses, voice entirely air. His breath catches, then releases once more, stuck right on the edge of sneezing and hitching. Vash feels a pang of sympathy at the desperate look in his eyes as they flutter between closed and open. Wolfwood is stuck, mouth ajar, head slightly tilted. One hand is hovering in front of his face, lightly fanning, the other holding his cigarette as it burns closer and closer to his fingers. Noticing the pain that’s sure to occur soon, Vash knocks it down, crushing it beneath his boot, not missing the growl of protest Wolfwood manages to slip out between gasps. “You’re a bit too preoccupied to be smoking that right now, and I don’t think either of us want you getting burned by it.” All he gets are hitches in return, the groaning starting to air on the side of moans as Wolfwood tries frantically to get the sneezes to come out. Finally he reaches over, grabbing Vash’s hand, sending chills down his spine. He’s too far gone to speak, but he doesn’t need words. Vash knows what to do. Gently taking his finger, and running it down the bridge of his nose like he did before, Vash nearly faints at the deep and airy moan that escapes Wolfwood’s throat, before he lunges forward with a harsh fit, lightly misting Vash’s hand as he attempts to move out of the way. “hEH’ISHH’YIUU-! ASHHH’YUUE-! ZSSHHH-DTSHH-KTSHHH’OOO-! hehh- heH’kNXGT’SHOO-! heH’ISHH’iew-! hh’zzSHH’ooo-! What the fuck- RSHHH’ooo-! hh’ktSHH’ooo-! heH’RSHHHH’yuue-! Oh thank god.”  “Bless you Nicholas. Better?” He receives a desperate sniff in response, wet and heady, and Vash searches through his pockets for another tissue, handing over a pack he forgot he was carrying. “You been holdin’ out on me.” Wolfwood mutters, crushing his nose into them and letting out a harsh blow. “Forgot I had them, sorry ‘bout that, I woulda handed ‘em over sooner if I remembered.” Wolfwood comes up for air, his nose twitching in the cold night air, before pressing it back into the tissues for another blow. Finally, seeming to get enough relief to satisfy him, his watery glance meets Vash’s, an itchy sigh releasing from his chest. “All is forgiven, feels much better now. Except that you crushed my smoke before I was finished with it!” “Ah, sorry ‘bout that too, but it was for the best.” Already pulling another out, Wolfwood gives him another sharp smile, this time laced with something that makes Vash’s heart flutter before he has a chance to stop it. “At this rate I’m gonna finish the pack before morning.” As he reaches over to get it lit, Vash gently pulls it out from between his lips. Wolfwood raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say a word, and doesn’t move back either, their faces close enough to feel the other’s breath. Vash places the smoke in his mouth, lights it, and takes a drag, ‘Hm, it does taste a bit different… what is this, I wonder.’ before letting Wolfwood remove it, and place it between his own lips.  Neither moves, Wolfwood breathing in too, Vash still holding his breath, though not by choice anymore. They stay like this for a beat, before Wolfwood turns to the side, blowing out, before turning back, eyes aglow. Vash finally realizes he’s still holding the smoke in his lungs, and goes to exhale, before pausing. ‘Time for a little revenge for the earlier smoke blowing’.  He lets his breath go, smoke drifting right into Wolfwood’s face. The reaction is instantaneous, Wolfwood using every fiber of his being to aim for Vash’s shoulder instead of his face as the sneezes burst out of him, forcing the cigarette to drop onto the ground where Vash crushes it. “hhH’zzSHH’ooo-! hh’ASHHH’ooo-! heH’ihhDSHH’ieew-! hUH’RUSHHH’yuee-! B- Blond- hAH’KTSHHH’ooo-! hihh’ZZCHH’OOO-! hH’EDDshh’yue-! RSHHH’ooo-!”  “Oh god, bless you Nico!”  Vash pauses for a second, before realization sets across his face, immediately replaced by panic as he turns over the pack in his hand, reading the label. “Shit- Nicholas, oh damn it-” Through congested sniffles, Wolfwood manages to shoot him a questioning gaze, before another desperate sneezes rips through him, this time giving him enough time to aim for the ground. “hEHH’KTSHH’shiew-!” “Bless you. I’m so sorry!” “What are you sorry for, I’m the one who just… juuhhhst… hhh’ISHH’yue-! ktSHH’ooo-! Scuse me- just sneezed against your shoulder.”  “Bless yo- huh? Oh, that’s nothing, don’t worry about it. It’s my fault anyways, I really should have seen it sooner, I was just… kinda distracted… I’m so sorry!” “Seen what…? What am I missing here Blondie?” Vash blushes, this time deep enough that Wolfwood can’t help but raise an eyebrow at the colour shift.  “T- the… the pack of smokes I gave you… you said they tasted different, and I thought it was just the brand, but when I had one I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was- it tasted like more than just a different brand- I mean I should have smelled it in the smoke but I wasn’t paying attention- and you were too stuffed up to smell or taste it anymore- I’d heard of flavoured cigarettes before but I’ve never seen them around here so I didn’t even think to-” “Blondie, rambling again. Is there a point you’re gettin’ to?” “.....They’re cinnamon flavoured. Which means the smoke is cinnamon scented too.”  Wolfwood stares for a moment, before letting out a laugh that nearly startles Vash off the rock. “That’s all? Blondie, with the way you were goin’ on, I thought they were poisoned or something!” “B- but… you’re allergic to cinnamon..? That’s why you’re sneezing so much, and… and it’s all my fault…” Vash feels his face flushing again, tears starting to form in his eyes before he can fight them off. ‘Why are you crying, you’re the one who caused this, you don’t get to cry-’.  His thoughts are cut off by the feeling of soft hands against his cheeks. One hand wipes away the tears, lingering just a moment on his cheek, while the other runs up into his hair, eliciting a soft sigh that he can’t stop. “I’m not angry at you, Vash.” Vash manages to clear his head enough to recognize the hands belong to Nicholas. The voice that spoke up belongs to him too, and there’s a gentle tone in it he’s never heard before. The eyes staring back at him belong to the man as well, and the kindness seeping through them nearly starts Vash crying again. “Y… you’re not…?” A light chuckle breaks through, and Vash feels his heart drowning in longing. “It’s just some sneezing, Blondie. We both know I’ve had worse. Plus, I was still enjoying the smoke, even with the unfortunate byproduct.” Vash stares, head filling with thoughts he can’t ignore. ‘Why isn’t he angry?’ ‘He was still enjoying them?’ ‘Is he okay with this?’ and front and center, ‘His hands are still touching me, does he know that?’  One hand still cups his face, thumb running along his chin, while the other seems content to pet through his hair. Vash can’t help but gasp as Nicholas suddenly pulls back, both hands leaving his skin, prompting his own to reach out for them. “hihh’KTshhh’iew-!”  ‘Oh.’  With that, Nicholas lets Vash’s hands grab his own, returning the grasp. Neither of them pulls closer, but neither pulls away. They just sit there for a minute letting the contact send burning chills through their bodies, almost as if they were being electrocuted. And yet… it was the most soothing feeling either had ever had.  After a few minutes of this, Vash broke off first, barely catching the airy sigh that escaped between Nicholas’s teeth. Vash could see his nose was still twitching, a red sheen on it glowing in the moonlight. ‘When did it get so much brighter out here?’ “We should get you some allergy meds, or you’re gonna be sneezing the rest of the night. Neither of us will get any sleep if that happens.” “Right, Blondie. Lead the way.” Neither of them says a word about the contact, the electricity, or the burning urge to do it again that bangs against each of their chests. Somehow, an unspoken agreement has been made, one that both of them seem desperate to keep. ‘That didn’t happen, I didn’t love it, and it will never happen again.’  Of course, both of them also know it’s a lie, and are eagerly awaiting the next excuse to feel that softness again. Somewhere, in the middle of a surprisingly cool desert night, under a dark sky, one touch lights a spark, and two cold hearts start to thaw in the heat. 
67 notes · View notes
adxmanial · 6 months ago
Text
#having a time again#I fucking hate rsd#I hate just feeling the overwhelming urge to go scorched earth and abandon everyone and everything I’ve ever known#I thought I had it under control and it got triggered again recently#and it leaves me fucking exhausted and regretting all my life decisions in the end#hate fucking relapsing#hate being unable to read people’s minds#being built fucking Wrong#and having people hate me for reasons I’m not even Aware of because I can’t pick up on it and no one just fucking Talks#no one just Says when they’re bothered they let it fester and then it’s My fault#I didn’t Completely burn this bridge yet but god I am staring at it with a lighter and gasoline in hand#all that’s stopping me is that what I’m about to burn meant and still does mean a lot to me but#I can’t keep fucking doing this#it always ends like this#it never fucking changes and I don’t know why I bother I should stay in my little hole Alone where no one can hurt me#and I can’t accidentally hurt anyone else#idk man#having a fucking time#and maybe I shouldn’t even be Talking about it here#becuase who cares it’s social media#but if I don’t spill my guts Somewhere then I’ll fucking explode and cut ties with Everyone in my life at a trigger’s notice#and I need to pour this out somewhere Else#so I Don’t do something I know is Bad#in a moment of fucking rsd anxiety panic attack#lays down under my rock and dies#becomes a mushroom#if I’m a mushroom I’ll have no more problems#the mushroom hive mind will understand me and I will understand the mushroom hive mind
6 notes · View notes
lesbiansanemi · 4 days ago
Text
It just sucks it just really fucking does and I never want to admit this because it’s “wrong” to want to “be normal” because these things shouldn’t be considered abnormal but fuck. Fuck man. I wish I was allo I wish I was cis I wish I was neurotypical I wish I was fucking normal and didn’t have all these little fucking things that clump up into a giant mound of ridiculous weight that is just too much for another person to deal with
#if I was all these things. allo cis neurotypical. I would be easy#I would be easy and fine and people wouldn’t give up on me and leave me#because I’m too much to deal with and too difficult and have too many extra little things#that a normal person wouldn’t and thus the normal person requires less energy to love#I feel like a fucking soul sucking creature that just exhausts everyone around me by virtue of existence#and yeah like I’m sorry I know this isn’t the right conclusion to come to#but I think I’m gonna give up and stop trying or even hoping it will happen#I will never be the most important to someone. I will never be a priority#I will be stuck living and knowing I love someone more than they love me#and it’s so obvious through actions and words but also it’s the best I can hope for#because I’m too much of a burden so of course they can’t spare that much time and effort and energy on me#so. accept it. accept I will be alone and will always be alone and should be alone and that’s just how it will be til the day I die#never let anyone try again because even if they say they want to they’re either lying or will quit the second they realize everything#and I just can’t do it anymore I can’t I can’t I can’t#casual friends is the best I could ever hope for that’s all the human connection I get#hide all this awful fucking miserable shit and extra steps and extra care I require#because no one will ever EVER care enough about me to deal with it all#and it will be better for me if I just come to terms with that and approach my life that way#time to revert to the stone cold emotionless fucking bitch I was for years#that’s all anyone will see while inside I feel like I’m just gaping wounds and ugly rotting flesh#and I deal with that pain myself and hide it from everyone else and that’s it#I do that. accept I will be alone. and that’s that. only way to fucking get through life
3 notes · View notes
dickvinci · 2 months ago
Text
i got into several arguments in my dreams last night.
2 notes · View notes