#parental burnout

[thequestionsofmychild]

What Time is it? Part Two!

The question What Time is it? was the basis of this blog, it was my very first blog post (What Time is it?). From around 3 years old, my son started asking this question over and over again. And not just a couple of times a day—literally hundreds of times. He would ask it three or four times within five minutes and always needed the exact time. The exact time. If I said “nearly 4 o’clock” he…

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I know those eyes.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[kitocrystal]

Checking out other Quest AUs as I wait for my will to come back to continue with Inky Mystery.

(The conflict has not let down yet and I’m starting to feel dread)

Anyway, go check out this neato retell of the og Quest story by @thequestfortheinkmachinecomics. The characters’ designs are nicely touched up, their personalities seems more natural now, the art is really cool and oh no, I’ve run out of juice for words… I just know that this retell will be good so I’ll be on along for this ride.

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive parents can shape you to believe there's two types of people in the world: successes and failures. You continually need to prove that you are not a failure, while, being forced to always be afraid you'll become one, and the goal you're presented with is to somehow become a success, which also you are told, is impossible for you.

The failures can be defined differently, based on what parents believe; it's usually people without a job, home, money, struggling with illnesses or addictions, but it can also be any kind of person the parent hates; if they're politically aligned, then anyone posing threat to their politics, if they're religious, then anyone outside the religion. If they have a relative or neighbour they don't like, then this person is also the failure, and you must not become like them. Successes are the people parents are charmed by, and people universally acknowledged as successful; people who have big properties, money, influence, power, fame, who are able to act in a charming way and come off confident and influential. Possibly have a cult going on.

 As you grow, you may begin to realize that everything you do somehow leads you to become 'the failure', and no matter how hard you try to fit into the success group, nothing you do right counts, or is acknowledged in any way. Your grades are never good enough, you never show enough talent, you're never good enough at anything, your behaviour is criticized no matter what, you are made to feel like you'll make nothing of yourself no matter how hard you try. And this just goes on as you grow up; no job you land is good enough, if they even let you have a job, no achievement or success is acknowledged, it's only if you do something that specifically gives positive attention to your parents, and lets them live trough your success, that you can fleetingly get a little bit of approval, and at all other times you are a failure.

This can send you into an impossible mission to prove to them that you are something, that you can do things if you try your best; it can cause endless stress both in academic setting and at your job, trying to do the impossible and constantly fearing it won't be enough, you'll make a mistake, it will prove that your parents were right. If you keep going, it leads into anxiety, perfectionism, exhaustion, numbness, and finally burnout. And it doesn't change, no matter what you do, you never change your position of failure in your parents eyes.

And eventually you might realize, that even if you did something incredible, like won a nobel prize, achieved world peace, ended world hunger, your parents would still treat it as 'you were lucky this one time' and decide you're not worth anything and move on with their day. There never was a way for you to achieve their approval; more over, the very system of belief they presented to you is false. There is no division of people into successes and failures.

As you mature and learn more about people in the world, you can find out that most people who are considered a success, have their achievements over-exaggerated, often the work is sourced elsewhere, exploited or stolen, money made off of backs of other people. The fame often comes from projection, acting, and careful curation of their public appearance. In current system there are almost no people who reach success by working hard, and those who do, generally struggle severely, and have their pain erased and dismissed by the general public. The 'successful' people generally, do not contribute to society in a meaningful way. Rather, they leech off of it.

The ones presented as failures, are usually people just failed by the system. Those without jobs, families, money, property, struggling with illnesses, addictions, systematic oppression and isolation, are people who have done nothing to deserve or cause any of that. There's also no lines between the 'successfull' and the struggling, lots of people are in both categories. World is so densely nuanced and complicated, one person might have done incredible things in their life, and then experienced the rock bottom due to circumstances out of their control.

The very concept of looking down on people who are struggling, is ignorant and shameful. It's a sign of apathy and superiority complex. And your parents not only convinced you that this was the only true way to look at society, but they used that very concept against you. To make you feel like you, a child, who has done absolutely nothing wrong, are deserving of being looked down at. That you are by default, the part of society they are right to look at with 'deserved' contempt and patronizing. And they, the parents, were directly responsible both for putting you into the world and deciding your socio-economic circumstances, your situation is a reflection of their actions. And they had the nerve to act like you're worth less than they are, just for existing, something that was completely out of your, and in their control.

You belong to the world, and your circumstances are out of your control, just like everyone else's. There's no category to sort you into, because people's lives are not reflected by black and white categories, you're complex, varied, you bring something to the world just by being yourself and existing. You are not to be singled out for how you live! And your life and your worth should not be decided by ignorance of two people who have never looked at another person and had any idea what they're looking at.

[minaoakdown]

“I’ve always been low maintenance.” I say.

I break a little inside.

[kyri45]

Hoi there, it's me again

Thank you for replying to my list of questions (Hope it wasn't too much for ya ^^'')

I also got another question for you. Do you have a job? If yes how much hours do you do? Mostly asking because I'm curious how are you still able to have energy and motivation on doing art right after your shift is done?

I have been struggling with trying to balance my work-life and trying to get back into doing arts again like I used to. It feels so weird that I once had so much energy to do art and have fun with it during my time in university, but now that it's over the drive just suddenly paused.

It might have to do with burnout, but even so, it's weird.

Any tips on how to manage your time to be able to get your porjects done and be able to stay motivated to do art as well?

Thank you ahead if you see it.

Lots of hugs to you.

PS.: Stay Your Awesome self as always!

Hii! So like- in the past 3 weeks/ next 6 weeks my schedule is more or less the following:

I wake up at 5am or 6am, depending on how much i slept/how is my insomnia.

I work for commissions from 5 to 6am (or i sleep)

How I stay motivated? Well drawing the comics for me is what I do on my "free time". And for me is like my hobby/fun thing to do after work.

From 7am to 5pm I work as a windsurf/wingfoil instructor (sometimes during my break i still work on commissions or on the comics if i need to chill, and during my shift if I don't get caught when I don't have lesson I answer to some of your asks)

From 6:30/7pm to 10pm I draw, again mostly for my client/commission.

Every drawing that you see posted (both comics and other fanarts) I draw during my 2 days off)

I have no idea how I'm still functioning honestly. Might be that I have insomnia and this schedule works for me bc at 10pm (which is actually rn, i should sleep) i'm so tired that I'm finally able to fall asleep.

I think the thing is I'm way too tired to draw something for fun AFTER work. But on my free days I'm more rested and can only focus on having fun drawing or other things.

[fennthetalkingdog]

Y'all I just watched Jaiden Animations' video about learning she has ADHD and man... some of that stuff just hit me hard. The having to tie yourself down to work, the being relatively okay in school until college, the wondering if a doctor would just say, "It's a you problem, go away"—geez that resonated. I'm glad she finally got a diagnosis and Adderall and learned how to work best with herself though! I hope things start to turn out better for her as time goes on

[m1ckeyb3rry]

My question is to the Minister for Nagi Seishiro and I ask— i finally remembered my question hahahah

What’s your thoughts on Nagi’s psychology and outlook in life?

The thoughts of him telling Reo “means you matter to your parents” is hitting me hard. Had me thinking of [redacted] but in a different hard-hitting context.

AHHHH HIII OKOKOK so idk this is probably an unpopular opinion because everyone likes taking nagi’s character at a very surface level but i think almost everything about nagi can be very easily explained if you think of him as someone who is very gifted but suffers from parental neglect

symptoms/signs of parental neglect:

image sources: [1], [2], [3]

there’s plenty of examples of nagi showing all of the symptoms i highlighted throughout the manga, epinagi, and his light novels, so i won’t add in screenshots because i’ll hit the image limit 😭 but it seems to me that while a lot of people headcanon nagi as not caring about anyone and wanting to be alone, that one line about how reo’s parents’s suffocating parenting style means they “care” about him, however misguided it may be, proves that he does want someone to love him and look after him, considering his own parents never really did so. it’s mentioned that he and his parents had a “friend-like” relationship but you can NOT have that kind of relationship with someone you are meant to raise!! (that doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly and supportive with your kids, but you need to be responsible for them in a way that friends aren’t so that they can grow up into well adjusted adults)

incidentally this is also why i like him and barou together and why i think nagi really shines around barou — barou’s probably one of if not THE first person to not only pay consistent attention to nagi but to do so in a way that sets and maintains boundaries (as in, not letting nagi get away with anything the way other characters do). it’s annoying to nagi in the way that getting yelled at by your parents for misbehaving is annoying to you in the moment, but at the end of the day it’s good for him and what he has been missing for much of his life

[araekni]

gentle.earth

The Boys (2019-), 3x03: Barbary Coast

House of the Dragon (2022-), 1x06: The Lord of the Tides

Cloud Nothings, Wasted Days

Audre Lorde, From the House of Yemanjá

Hanif Abdurraqib, When I Say Loving Me Is Like Being A Chicago Bulls Fan

Holly Black, The Cruel Prince

Geloy Concepcion (x)

Dead Like Me (2003–2004), 1x01: Pilot

[genericpuff]

i came home from my trip to find some HOT STEAMING TEA.

so it's been sorta talked about for a while now that there was an incident a long time ago involving a Minthe cosplayer and an in-character caption that Rachel responded to with... well, not grace, let's just put it that way lmao but it's always just been sorta mentioned in passing, never really fully confirmed beyond hearsay, so we didn't have any details or information to back up the claims.

but we FINALLY got actual definitive proof of it not JUST in the form of screenshots-

-but then we were BLESSED by the appearance of the PERSON WHO HAD DONE THIS COSPLAY.

(names have been censored for obvious privacy reasons)

sooo yeah. It's been a great day for tea. But I also feel really bad for the cosplayer, I'm glad she's moved past it but the fact that she was made to feel targeted like that just for playing one of Rachel's own characters from her own comic? Rachel, honey, please, for the love of god, get a grip. I would have been willing to be a bit less scrutinizing if this thing that happened 4 years ago was obviously something she had grown from, but no, she's doubled down in her behavior over the past 4 years and now her comic has fallen to the same level of shittiness to boot.

Anyways, to the Minthe cosplayer, I hope you're still cosplaying, even if it's not LO anymore. I'm glad you've moved past it and hopefully gone on to better things :' ) You def didn't deserve any of that shit and it's frankly appalling that the LO fanbase and its creator still manage to get away with this childish af behavior four years later.

[angelpuns]

the mental illness is feeling like I should quit my job because even though it's a part-time low stakes job it is also killing me :(

[killedthedreamerdream]

Moms getting home in a bad mood try not making your autistic child cry challenge!

[ollieisoliveoil]

Gifted kid?

Nah, I think you mispronounced NEURODIVERGENT

[cantheykillmacbeth]

Arukenimon and Mummymon from Digimon Adventure 02 could both kill MacBeth.

They were both created artificially by Yukio Oikawa, a male scientist, so they both apply for the Unconventional Birth and Birth Parent clause. Arukenimon also applies for the Gender Clause due to being a woman.

Yes, both Archnemon/Arukenimon (left) and Mummymon (right) from Digimon Adventure 02 could kill Macbeth!

As stated above, the two of them were created by Oikawa Yukio using his own DNA to create the two human-digimon hybrids, meaning they both apply for the Unconventional Birth Clause and Birth Parent Clause! Additionally, Archnemon is female, meaning she applies for the Gender Clause as well!

Thank you for your submission!