#glass child

[autismcultureis]

Undiagnosed autism culture is your family can't comprehend that you are also autistic because you have a family member that was diagnosed as a child and has different support needs than you.

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[twinsfawn]

when you and your sibling are both mentally ill but their symptoms are more severe so you still end up being the glass child 🥰

[prettybaby-inc]

i can’t remember the last time someone asked me something about myself

[annisrealandsoami]

So Anna is a glass child. Like canonically. Their parents were so focused on helping Elsa that she spent most of her childhood alone.

Like during the holiday special thing, Elsa says that after they closed the gates, they were never together. The whole ‘do you want to build a snowman’ song, Anna is singing to Elsa, each little gag a testament to her loneliness. After the accident, Anna isn’t shown with her parents. Elsa is shown with her parents after the accident.

She still loves her parents but I wish she had the slightest bit of a resentment towards them. They didn’t need to keep her so isolated, for so long. If they were going to focus all of their energy towards Elsa, couldn’t they sent her to a boarding school or something? So at least she wouldn’t be so alone?

Random thought because I unironically get frozen edits.

[minaoakdown]

“I’ve always been low maintenance.” I say.

I break a little inside.

[eve-is-a-terf]

i'll die on this hill: it is NOT ableist for glass children to be resentful of their disabled sibling. you're not a bad person, you're not a bigot.

[trekkiehood]

Gale was definitely one of those kids who prided himself in being strong and resilient and yet used to pray at night and wish on a star he didn't really believe in that something would happen to him. That he'd collapse, or get hit by a car, or that a gun would go off on a hunt and he'd be hit. Then maybe just maybe his dad would pay attention to him. Maybe then his dad would spend some money on him. Acknowledge that he had needs. Maybe if his dad almost lost him he'd realize that Gale was more important than gambling.

Gale was the glass child to his father's favorite child, money.

[a-j-s-the-only]

my brother is a glass child

my parents look through him, just to see me.

They cast him aside, if I only give a sigh.

They leave him be, yet let me run free.

my brother is a glass child

I watch him stand to the side,

I see him go quiet.

To me an outstretched hand to guide,

but meanwhile he is in the riot.

my brother is a glass child

I do my best to include,

I do my best to notice you.

I suffer from my trauma,

But yours is being created.

my brother is a glass child

I’m sorry

I see you.

[theereina]

I learned a new term today. ~ "Invisible Labor"

This is the story of my life from childhood to present as the youngest child who is treated like the oldest. I'm tired of the emotional and mental labor associated with being where I am presently. I am forced to be the most responsible and reliable. Every mistake is mine to fix, and every burden is mine to bear. Appointments, passwords , PINs, social security numbers, DOBs, vehicle info, banking acct. info, medications, health issues, etc.

IT NEVER FUCKING STOPS!

[strawberryminikin]

when my mom yells at me and suddenly im a 10 year old girl again, sobbing because i couldn’t understand why I felt so hated by my own mother

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

So People has a article about Lilis birthday having been celebrated with a party over the weekend. No current pics of course. Now her birthday is June 4. Do recall Meghan couldn't attend the coronation because she had to have archie birthday party that day and Harry had to leave immediately after the ceremony to fly back for Archie's birthday. But now it's ok to have Lilis party before her actual birthday. If that doesn't make it very clear that her absence from the coronation had nothing to do with A's birthday I don't know what will. It's ok to have Lilis party on the weekend before her actual birth date but they couldn't move A's party so that H and M could do the coronation??? Geez.

Of course it's okay to have Lili's birthday early because Lili is the golden child. Archie is the glass child.

('Glass child' refers to the child that the parents don't see - aka they look straight through the child to their sibling. Clinically 'glass child' refers to the healthy sibling of a child with a severe disability or illness, called such because the parents don't see them since they're too focused on the suffering child' however lately, internet discourse has co-opted the term to mean the sibling that parents ignore for their favored child, aka the golden child who can do no wrong.)

[littlest-nightingale]

I have a complicated relationship with the concept of a glass child. Because. Ppl say it's ableist but it isn't? Like yes. The sibling didn't choose to be disabled, and you shouldn't hate your sibling for being disabled. But that doesn't mean the glass child didn't suffer. Because, from the child's perspective, their parents aren't paying attention to them, all the attention is being given to their sibling. Their parents don't have time for them. And that's damaging. Unfortunately there really isn't much to be done. So while yes, you shouldn't blame the disabled sibling, that doesn't mean glass children can't be upset about what happened. Having emotions and feelings towards something that happened to you doesn't make you a bad person. And that's what a lot of arguments about glass children seem to boil down to- "you're ableist because you have (negative emotion) towards your sibling." Which, no! I am angry about what happened to me! I am angry that I was neglected because my sister was sick! I am angry that she was born with a disability! This is not because I hate my sister, it's because we BOTH deserved better! In a lot of cases, glass children DO have loving parents - BUT they were just victims of random chance, I guess. There's nobody to blame- sure, there are shitty parents, but in situations like that, the disabled child takes priority. It sucks! It really does!

Basically. You can be angry about it. It's okay to feel. But glass children are victims of circumstance. They can be angry at the circumstances they were raised in.

[dandelion-system]

I think, realising just how different yours and your siblings childhoods were hurts more than anything else.

And it’s always the small things. We have a new kitchen tap, and it’s kinda fancy I guess? I found out that you can sorta turn it into a drinking fountain.

So I turn around and go to say to my brother, ‘hey, this is just like those taps we used to drink from at school when we were little!’

But then I realised he never drank from the water fountains. He never went to school. And I have to leave it there, because then I start to realise why.

Why I went to school and struggled, but he got to stay home. Why I had to miss out on things that I was desperate to do, and have carried that into my adult life, just because he didnt want to do them.

It was an unfair childhood. But you know what? I think what hurts the most is that we didn’t share it. I can never turn around to my brother and go ‘remember when’ or ‘this felt so’ or ‘wasn’t it funny’. Because we had the same parents, the same house, the same toys, the same books, the same meals, the same bedtime; we didn’t have the same childhood. I’ve shared so much with him, and yet nothing at all.

Nothing.

[mycptsdstory]

Everyone talks about their disability and how it effects them. THAT IS FAIR.

HOWEVER, let's talk about the children/adults who are also the caretakers, the ones with no disabilities and with a neurological brain. The ones who do everything for their siblings. SOMETIMES and I mean SOMETIMES they are called the Glass Child.

Let's Talk about the Glass Child.

(Link from the screenshot above)

The Glass Child is often referred to as the Forgotten Child, since the parents forget about the other child's needs. Since they don't have a disability or neurodivergent brain. The parent will often use all their attention on the other sibling with a disability, because they need more care and observation. The other child will be left behind because they don't need that much attention. This will lead the child to feel hopeless and worthless, hence the Glass Child.

The Glass Child will often be;

Fiercely independent – they don’t ask for help when they need it and feel more responsibility at a younger age.

Fear – Did I cause this? Can/will this also happen to me?

Pressured/perfectionism/high standards – too many demands placed on them, feeling they can’t make a mistake; they must do things perfect to “not rock the boat”.

Silenced/feeling forgotten – let them have a voice, they want to be seen and heard.

(link to the bullet points)

The Glass Child SOMETIMES have to look after their disabled sibling and help out with their parents. Due to this, their needs aren't being met and they often feel isolated, let down and this can cause depression and anxiety in their adult life. Since they help out the parents, they seek validation and people please, all because their needs aren't being met. Again, this can cause resentment and feeling left out. They often feel, they aren't "good enough", since the parents will put all the attention on the other sibling. They will often push back hospital appointments, dental appointments and other important needs last, since the other sibling needs more attention than the 'Glass Child'. They often feel "less important".

Even to a point the Glass Child will ignore their own medical conditions, because the other sibling with a disability, will have their needs met, compared to the Glass Child. This CAN and MAYBE cause trauma to their childhood to adult life, since they didn't put their needs in front of their own. The Glass Child simply ignored their needs because they weren't "good enough". Again, this can cause resentment towards the other sibling with a disability.

Moreso, to leave high paying jobs, to look after the sibling. Moving back home, to make sure the sibling is taken care of. Again, ignoring their needs and wishes. Also again, can cause resentment. Even a rift in the family.

What are the results in Adult life?

Having problems to connect with people on a deep level

Struggle making friends

Depression

Anxiety

Self-hatred/unhealthy self-esteem

Being overly concerned for other people well being and not putting their needs first

People pleasing

Finding it hard to set boundaries

Finding it hard to say "no".

Being "perfect"

Guilt

Self-blame

Invisibility during social interactions

(Link to some of the bullet points)

All of this, combined, the Glass Child doesn't feel loved. Since, the disabled sibling will get their needs met first, while the Glass Child will not.

WORST WORST WORST case scenario, being a Glass Child can and I mean POSSIBLY cause PTSD or CPTSD.

Glass children take on mature responsibilities at a young age.

They might feel obligated to do more around the house or have higher expectations of themselves because they’re more capable. They might even start assuming caregiver responsibilities for their sibling. As a result, the glass child may miss out on some normal childhood activities and experiences.

For example, a glass child may not participate in afterschool activities if they feel the need to be home to care for their sibling or don’t want to add logistical pressure on their parents.

Some studies suggest glass children are prone to anxiety or depression. The circumstances of a glass child often lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, or hopelessness. When action isn’t taken early on to make the child feel validated and they internalize these feelings, the child may be more likely to suffer from clinical anxiety, depression, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as teens and adults.

(Link from this article. Look I know it's Wiki, but this is honestly a great example and helps to understand on a basic level. Since not everyone can understand big long fancy words.)

Here are some links to help you understand Glass Child more;

[angelsyrip]

when the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of its future.

[me-is-confused]

It's so heartbreaking to realise that you are the glass child, eventhough you are the younger sibling... because you don't even realise it

The talk about glass children is always on the older sibling, but what if it's the younger? that was the glass child from birth? that never knew anything else?

You never have the attention of your parents in the first place, becaue you only ever knew that your sibling was the priority, you never had that loss that a lot of glass children have, when their sibling comes along, because you were the one coming in later.. it's what you first learn: your sibling is more important, so you stay behind, but you don't really feel like you are left behind at the time, because you don't know anything else, that is your normal, you fend for yourself since you were born, because your sibling needs the care more than you

But because of that, everyone thinks you're just so much more durable and low maintenance, because you had to from toddler on.

It's just til way later in life, that you figure out that that's not how it's supposed to be and that hurts a lot...

The trem "Glass child" explained so much to me when i found it, it finally gave a name to what was going on, but then looking into it all i ever found was about older siblings, the glass child was always the older and I'm sitting here, but I'm the younger... Makes it feel like that actually doesn't fit like you thought it would, because while similar experience, you feel it so diffrently and i don't ever really see the younger sibling as the glass child, but i get it, if you got a kid that needs all attention, why get another one?

There are so many instances from stories that my parents tell me where my only thought is "you should've looked after me too" like don't get me wrong, love that my brother got what he needed, i just wish i would've gotten the same energy or at least something from my parents too, when i needed it

I don't know, just something i needed to get off my chest i guess...