desi-kappaa

[desi-kappaa]

productivity days 34 and 35

day 34/100 (thursday, march 20th)

productivity stars: ★★

hours worked:

things i did:

✧ finished my audition song for the music production role

✧ did laundry

✧ took part of 1 lsat practice exam

✧ went over practice exam questions

✧ cleaned kitchen

✧ did dishes

day 35/100 (friday, march 21st)

productivity stars: ★★★

hours worked:

things i did:

✧ washed bedsheets

✧ went over practice exam questions

✧ cleaned kitchen

✧ did dishes

✧ finished penpal letter

✧ voted (still need to send in my ballot)

✧ deep cleaned desk + room

✧ packed to go home

✧ everything showered!!

[desi-kappaa]

[desi-kappaa]

We need to bring back the athletics body type post

[desi-kappaa]

[desi-kappaa]

[desi-kappaa]

driving all night and into the morning with your head lolling in the passenger seat. i don't want to romanticize cars because henry ford is evil; but i am in love with you and therefore everything feels romantic, even gas stations. i tell you i don't like the car-obsessed infrastructure of america; the same old rant about public transportation and energy costs and how racism and bigotry work together to hasten the End Times. you nod along and make sure i eat.

the sun putting down gentle feelers onto the winter sticks of massachusetts. feeling your hand in mine while we listen to a new album, ranking each song quietly. your jaw limned with the red-green passage of streetlamps. your hands around the large order of french fries we split between us. without comment, you pass me the biggest one. somewhere in maine, we stop randomly for a walk and are overwhelmed by the beauty. i'll never be able to find that place again, and it's okay. everything with you feels new to me.

spring is coming and the car is a stick shift and needs oil often and makes a concerning clicking if i turn left. we sit and watch the ocean come in, eating takeout quietly while the wind whips up and over the rocks. facing forward and feeling-rather-than-seeing you listen; i tell you things that are real and important and are hardly-ever spoken. the engine ticks as it cools and our voices get quiet. the hour gets small and i'll be sleepy on the drive home but as long as i don't have to leave yet, i can stay for the moment. let the moment linger on.

in the backseat my dog lets out a little sigh while he stretches. the gps says 354 miles until we hit home again.

a car is not a pure thing, no charming aesthetic. and then you tilt back your head and howl along to julien baker. and i think - oh god, oh god, i'm so in love that even the drive is romantic.

[desi-kappaa]

LMFAO?? 😅

I just saw a Maybelline lipstick ad that said “shades made for Indian skin tones” and then showed a blonde woman wearing the lipstick

Like OKAY?!?! 😭😭😭

[desi-kappaa]

hey... don't cry.... tesla recall for most cybertrucks, okay? >46,000 vehicles affected <3

[desi-kappaa]

the plot of literally every season of bridgerton is just "hot but pathetic man manages to get the baddest bitch around to fall deeply in love with him, still nearly fumbles the bag" in different fonts

[desi-kappaa]

i have a reallt big rock in my room

my mom said we can play blunt force trauma to the head until we die together if your mom’s fine with it

[desi-kappaa]

another hard pill to swallow: so much of the mental health/self care/positivity discourse in the past years is enabler behavior.

unfortunately, we as a society, especially online, decided that the best way to make people feel good is to treat them as babies, telling ourselves it's completely fine to live in stillness, to never get out of our comfort zone, to pat ourselves on the back for just trying or for not even doing anything other than existing. and yet people continue to live miserably, constantly trying to fill voids they don't even understand, while sharing these empty buzzwords.

it's time to grow up and grow out of this spoiled state of mind. no, it's not actually okay to sit around in the dark of your bedroom everyday, glued to your computer, videogame or phone, totally sedentary, eating trash all day, experiencing life through screens. it's not actually okay to never clean your house, never go outside, never try new things, never do anything that may result in some anxiety or discomfort. you're not actually doing your best by just sitting around waiting for a magical solution to arrive. you're actually making yourself sick and sicker.

if you're unsatisfied, change your life. no way around it. nobody will do it for you. it's literally do or die.

[desi-kappaa]

successfully resisted the call of fanfiction

[desi-kappaa]

the feeling of absolute disgust when i get a bad grade

[desi-kappaa]

I need you to understand that when I say "comments are appreciated!" I mean that I will reply to every one of them. I mean that an email with an ao3 notification has a higher priority than a message from my mother. I mean that I will have entire discussions in the comment section if you're up for it. Message me on tumblr and I will have the same discussions on an even more unhinged level. I will dissect entire personalities and ships and fictional political structures and worldbuilding with you. I will become your new best friend. You already ARE my new best friend. At the last battle, I would raise Anduril and say "For my ao3 readers" while a single tears rolls down my cheek, and dive into the fray. I would upload from beyond the grave if someone asked about the next chapter

[desi-kappaa]

people using the I’m just a girl song for their little videos but making them short enough to crop out the part of gwen stephani yelling that’s all you’ll let me be

[desi-kappaa]

— Catherine Abbey Hodges, from "Solstice on the Middle Fork," Tar River Review (vol. 59, no. 2, Spring 2020) (via lunamonchtuna)

[desi-kappaa]

You're just not toxic enough.