#overthinking succession
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I’m having a deep think right now about the overlaps and the differences between the appeal of fascism, and that of libertarianism.
On one level, this is because I am writing a Sucession fanfic, and trying to get into Roman’s head.
But on another level only reason I’m even writing Succession fanfiction is that I identify with Roman, and that is in large part because he is a queer person who is philosophically in the thrall of his terrifying conservative father, whose love he desperately craves.
And once upon a time, that used to be me. And I feel deep and abiding shame about that.
(Not the sexy kind of shame. The devastating kind.)
But as I delve into philosophical discussions of fascism and conservatism (and honestly, I have not yet delved the deeply), I’m starting to realize that maybe I have less in common with Roman, and more with Connor (if we leave out his weird S3 white-nationalism dog whistles about the evils of onanism).
I’m basing a lot of this on the first chapter – which is all I have read so far - of “The Reactionary Mind” by Corey Robin; which I came upon via the source list for the linked YouTube video.
youtube
[link to “Endnote 2: White Fascism” by Innuendo Studios, on YouTube.]
Robin (if I’m understanding him correctly) posits that the end goal of conservatism is fundamentally Fishstick fascistic, and that the real animus driving political conservative movements is always the desire of the privileged to remain above those the existing social order oppresses.
I have certainly voted for, and carried water for, conservatives (a fact of which I am, again, deeply ashamed), but I don’t think that was ever the real appeal for me.
I’m not saying I didn’t internalize beliefs that were (I now realize) racist, classist, ableist, and elitist; but I don’t think that was ever the main draw, so much as a side effect of reading the goddamn National Post every fucking day
But for me, I think the main appeal of conservatism was the illusory promise of total self-sufficiency, and of being impossible to further hurt. It was the libertarian lie, bound up in the same nihilistic appeal as the Nine Inch Nails song whose hook is “Nothing can stop me now, cause I don’t care anymore.” (‘Piggy’ is the song.)
In this respect, I think I had more in common with Connor; I was also the discarded child who grew up to think of themself as “a flower that grows on rocks and feeds on the insect that land inside of it.”
Honestly, that soliloquy (from S4E2) could’ve been me at thirteen.
I felt rejected and shunned by the world, but I was also rapidly becoming aware that I could use my looks and intelligence as currency (just a Connor uses his literal currency as currency).
It was only when I was 21, and ended a long relationship, and found myself with no one to turn to, and no idea who I was, that my father swooped in to be my new best friend; and that’s when I became more Roman-like in my fawning attempts to appeal to him.
But I think Roman truly believes that his father is better than him, whereas a much more significant part of me always knew my own dad was a false prophet.
I think the world reaffirmed this belief in Roman, because his father has been so successful, and I think his father, concerned with legacy, has been much more active in fostering this mythology than my own father was.
(My dad would tend to just willfully ignore that l existed for several years at a stretch, if I was acting too cringe [i.e. not stereotypically conservative-lady feminine enough] for his conservative sensibilities; something I am assuming that Shiv could probably relate to.
The scene where Logan tells her he wants her back in the fold was very similar to what my father did with me when I was 21, and I glowed just the same way she did.)
But yeah, I think an internalized belief on Roman’s part that his father truly is better than him, and a desire to “be as good” as his father in order to redeem himself and overcome this inadequacy in his person, really feeds into Roman’s affinity for fascism / conservatism.
And I think that belief structure is with him in that bathroom with Mencken, unacknowledged and subconscious, and even more insidious than his conscious priorities of wanting to win points with Logan, and maaaaaybe wanting to be pushed to his knees and have a fascist phallus (a fascllus? I’m going to hell) thrust upon him.
Anyway, if anyone ever reads this, feel free to suggest some books / essays / videos to my reading list.
So far, in addition to the above-mentioned Cory Robbins tome, I am planning to actually finish “The Ur-Fascist” by Umberto Ecco, and to at least dip into “The Dialectic of Enlightenment” by Horkheimer and Adorno, and “The Authoritarian Personality” by Adorno.
#succession#succession fanfic#succession fanfiction#roman roy#connor roy#roman roy character analysis#connor roy character analysis#succession themes#politics in succession#libertarianism in succession#fascism in succession#libertarianism vs fascism#the reactionary mind#corey robin#overthinking succession#long rambling essay#jeryd mencken#logan roy#Youtube
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I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.
#messyr#doodle#vent art#idk what im feeling but im just really tired- pessimistic and agitated lately#overthinking stuff about growth as a person LMAO. Envy that builds inferiority then dissolves into insecurity ew#ive yet to accept the truth that it will never get better- so i can only be there for others until i watch them go.#And I walk back to the same cage where I grew- bc the cage is all I know. I'd watch from afar and wait- wait for what? Idk#Genuinely happy and proud to those who worked hard for that success-- an ugly thought whispers to me thinking why cant I have the same#well- people w the same situations as me- knows how unfair life is so we work twice as hard. but sometimes... It's-- not enough.#And to an unfortunate fate- it'll never be enough. and it feels as if you amount to nothing.#I've been stuck for so long- I'm convinced enough that I cannot be helped. Still I cling onto the tiniest spark of hope.#bpd#abuse mention
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There is really...something, in how Connor seems the closest to Logan when it comes to death. He was told about the mausoleum from Logan, that he has this entire story about how Logan bought it and when, and who it came from. Con is the one to plan Logan’s funeral. Our only good-natured Logan & Connor moment came from Connor reminiscing about a moment with Logan and Connor’s dead mother. It’s him, the sibling who was cast out for three years and who accepts Logan’s death so readily with a simple “he never even liked me” and whose mother can’t get a front row seat like Kerry and Marcia and Caroline and Sally Anne can, it’s Connor who buys the house and is open to the siblings all living there and then again with the mausoleum, it’s him who knows this information and gets to share it with his siblings.
And I want to say it’s about how much he’s accepted death and has faced their reality and maybe he has but it’s still another haunted house situation, but in a different way. It’s when Con buys the house that the siblings actually pay attention to him (so much so that Ken snaps and asks for them to stop ignoring him!). It’s when he explains the mauseloum and gives them the tour that they’re listening to Connor, entranced, because he’s giving them more information about their dad. Ken, Shiv, and Rome are stabbing each other in the back and dragging each other away from the door, claiming all the while that they’re not going to live in a haunted house and that maybe they can do better, maybe. But Connor sees, Connor sees and understands and accepts their reality and holds the door to the haunted house open and says well we can live here together, at least.
#connor roy#succession#succession spoilers#this makes zero sense i know it's just!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah#janie overthinks media
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Stop asking me everyday to help you to manifest what you want. Your circumstances are not special. Your circumstances are not unique, and no your subconscious mind is not gonna be like I am not gonna give you that but you can manifest something else. You don't have resistance. There is no such thing as a big manifestation or a small one. If you don't mind me telling you but manifesting one dollar or manifesting a complete 360° degree change in someone is all the same to your mind, unless you believe otherwise. Writing out all of your circumstances in my asks and dms only tells me how you're not willing to change because you clearly aren't listening to what I say. Because if you did, you'd be sending me success stories or even thanks.if you're not willing to change what makes you think that I'll be able to do it for you? I can manifest for you but I won't. Because you're the creator in your reality, why would I bother doing something that you can clearly do yourself?! Now I'm not ranting to make anyone feel bad but rather to make you guys aware of what you're doing wrong. Stop feeling the need to dm me everyday when you could be using that time to saturate your mind that you already have what you want. Which you do. It's really as simple as that. And if you can't accept that then stop. Live your life like before you knew the law. Stop making yourself miserable over this and stop overcomplicating this shit.
#stop overthinking#law of assumption#loassumption#affirm and persist#loa tumblr#loa#neville goddard#consciousness#loass success#loassblog#loassblr#imagination#loatwt#loa blog#loass#shifting community#shiftinconsciousness#specific person#reality shifting#self concept#saturation#shradsmanifestt
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does anyone else here feel so messy, lazy and unmotivated?? like I used to have varied interests like art, painting etc. and was generally very happy as a child but now I feel like I'm mediocre in everything I do, generally feel so unenthusiastic about things, just want to sleep all day, I also can't get rid of my acne, which I have on my back, arms and face, hairfall, my face overall looks so dull (as pointed out by so many ppl) ugh i hope this is just a teenager thing bc I feel so moody and useless and I just want to escape to fictional universes.
#can you guys tell that I had a shit day#I'm still young but idk I have this nagging feeling that some of my family think I'm not going to be successful or something#some of them have told me outright that I'm so lazy/not a bright kid so... I don't think I'm stupid I'm just lazy.. (or atleast i hope lol)#idk I hope I peak in adulthood pls#࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚˖𐦍˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔ elora's PhD in overthinking#˚➳❥ postcards from elora ➳❥#✧✿ elora's thoughts✧✿
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i think it’s interesting that komaeda alludes to chapter 5 as a final battle between hope and despair (the specific scene im remembering is the boat scene but im p sure he says this during the chapter itself too) because to me it reads as another battle between two hopes. both destroying the remnants of despair and forcing them to confront the truth and overcome their past are outcomes of hope. so which will win in the end which is stronger will makoto or munakata emerge triumphant etc etc etc.
but it’s the fact that komaeda initially views this as a battle between hope and despair that interests me. from an objective standpoint it WOULD be a battle between two hopes (every trial before 2-5 he describes the class vs blackened dynamic as being a hope vs hope dynamic), so i think its his emotions skewing his worldview. i mean he’s distraught and enraged and horrified after finding out the remnants of despair thing, AND his worldview about talent is already falling in on itself because the whole point of being ult despair is using your talents to embody despair, which is against what he believes in… so of course he’d view the outcome of the remnants surviving as despair, because he feels despair towards the remnants. even though the point is that hope will always overcome despair — and wouldn’t it be the ultimate instance of hope for the very root of the apocalypse to overcome its despair?
i think komaeda subconsciously understands this, but again, he’s just emotional. case in point: 2.5. this is why ive never been angry that 2.5 kinda retcons his motive in the end, when he says he believed hajime would make it to the lowest stratum + generally the fact that komaeda is nonchalant about being woken up, almost as if he knew hajime would win. in his clear mind, he’s able to acknowledge his subconscious belief that hajime would win, and that the remnants are the stronger hope. he had faith in hajime to figure out the case.
#to me it lowkey just reads like they werent thinking hard enough about this when they were writing the games ending and then they went back#to revise his motive in 2.5. if thats the case this is one of the ONLY successful retcons in the entire anime. of which there are many#attempted. like i may just be overthinking this but it also makes perfect sense to me and also i know him better then the writers do. so.#ko’s danganronpa ramblings#nagito komaeda
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The government wants me for my science degree and tendency to misread every social cue, apparently
#vio.txt#finding resounding success in being too neurodivergent to read the appropriate time for a question#you can't overthink something you have no understanding of 👍#i should clarify they want to network they dont want me carnally or dead
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A Thought On Succession S3E2: What The Kids Knew
In my fourth rewatch of Succession, I was struck by the scene where the kids are all talking in Sophie's room and specifically the discussion about how much they all knew about the cruises scandal. There's a continuous theme throughout the show about how the past is remembered, and this scene really digs into that. Roman kind of abstains from discussing it in depth, just throwing out that he "kinda knew but not to that extent" and staying quiet, but Kendall and Connor insist to Shiv that they knew about, by which I mean were able to pick up on, the awful things happening in the company and she vehemently denies it. I kind of feel like this situation is relatable to a lot of people with siblings especially if there are more substantial age gaps or gender differences, and that while it may seem like Shiv is being willfully ignorant, she really may not know. Shiv is the youngest of the siblings, although we don't know for sure how much. Since Kendall turns 40 on the show and Roman is said to be 38 at the start, they seem to have a less than two year age gap. Roman and Shiv's interactions imply that they are close in age too, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything (my brother is 4 years younger than me and we were really close as kids and teen/preteen). Either way, at minimum Shiv is 3 years younger than Ken and they are all 10+ years younger than Connor. If Shiv was 15, Ken was at least 18 and probably was already getting folded into the company as part of his "destiny" while Shiv was just being a teen who probably had no reason to care about her father's business dealings. While age gaps feel less as you become adults, that's a substantial difference in responsibility and maturity that Ken and Connor may just be forgetting about. On top of that, Shiv is the only girl. This means that she would never have been invited into that "boy's club" that Connor and Ken would surely be welcome at (and maybe Roman too but he may have been too young or queer or unserious to be allowed in at the time). However, being a girl Shiv has probably been sexualized by creepy old men since she was a preteen (it happens to most of us) and therefore would have been naturally cautious around those guys regardless of any hard information linking them to sketchy behavior. Even if your dad's friend seems okay, you still probably will go out of your way to not be in a bathing suit around him once you hit 12 as Shiv implies. My point is, maybe Shiv is obfuscating her awareness to deflect responsibility but maybe she really didn't know. Her age and gender could have prevented her from the kind of awareness her brothers had, and this whole scene really shines a light on how those kinds of factors can shape our understanding of our childhood.
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unmedicated adhd will have you scrolling through the same posts on your dash for the third time, asking yourself How Do I Leave the House, hoping the answer somehow appears in the posts
#guys. how do you leave the house xdddd asking for a friend#what am i waiting for. why am i still here writing this fucking post instead of just getting up. and going#i need to get some groceries 😭#god this sounds so stupid I WISH I WAS JOKING#i love a brain that works.#btw i did 5/7 tasks#so success!!#now im hungry but GUESS WHAT.#ughhhh#niki.rambles#okay. heres the deal. i post this and IMMEDIATELY get up.#i need this on the record because otherwise we'll just pretend i didnt say that#okay lets go#this is therapy. self therapy or whatever#oh my god i need to shut up#IM JUST FULLY LAUGHING AT THIS POINT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME JKGJKJKHJ#hovering over the post button overthinking like hmm shouldnt i add something. do i have more to say maybe i have more to say. maybe i shoul#ramble some more. maybe theres more thoughts- GIRL JUST STOP. STOP AND GO JFC#great glimpse into my stream of consciousness#executive dysfunction at its finest#i need to launch myself into the sun
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vincent charbonneau is also aromantic: a personal interpretation and analysis from one aromantic
i'm scared of this not reaching the right people, but i just finished dead plate + got all the endings, and vince as an aromantic allegory is so relevant that it's driving me up the wall! keep in mind as you read that this is just my interpretation :)
the use of cannibalism as a metaphor in dead plate is interesting, as it usually illustrates a very obsessive love that someone has for another person or object, to the point where they let it consume them whole. however, i think you can also interpret the cannibalism as an obsession for trying to give the love that is expected of you.
"I've been told I don't cook with love -- which is a sentimental and meaningless review in the culinary world. I'm a professional chef, not a parent making a meal for their kid."
he can't cook "with love." i assume that he cooks by following precise formulas and measurements that guarantee flavour. flavour he can't taste. flavour he has read about, somewhat understands in theory, but can never experience for himself.
however, this doesn't mean his cooking is bad. he is critically acclaimed for his culinary skill. he opened la guele de saturne in his early 20's. it's no doubt that he's respected and feared in the world of food, but even with several awards to his name, he's told he's missing something. something supposedly crucial. something he doesn't give a damn about, but bothers him nonetheless.
"I can't stand eating. No matter the ingredient, no matter the recipe, everything tastes the exact same. It tastes like nothing, it makes me sick. But with… With you… maybe…"
there are several different interpretations of this scene, but i personally read it as vince living a delusion where if he keeps at it, keeps trying, forces himself to understand, he will eventually find what he's been searching for.
but he won't. it just doesn't work like that. not for him.
"If everything so far has tasted nothing to you, what makes you think I'll be any different? If you're really doing all this just so you can taste again, when it turns out I'm just like any other, what will you do? You would have killed her. You would have killed me for no reason. Are you really ready to deal with that? If this is your idea of trying to make yourself happy, I don't think you'll ever be full."
and rody was right. it wouldn't have mattered which part of him he tore off, it would have all just tasted the same. the same nothing. the same wave of disappointment and frustration would wash over him again and he'd be left a hollow shell with the knowledge that he had killed a person, he had eaten a person, he went through the whole ordeal, and it got him nothing. any hope that maybe this will be different, this won't be like the previous, would be crushed under his own heel.
to me, vince's obsessive search for his sense of taste is an unending search for this something you will never get. in the same way he will never taste, i will never experience love or romance in the way everybody expects me to. this isn't to exclude aros who do experience romantic attraction or do have healthy romantic relationships, and it's not to illustrate being aromantic as something unfulfilling or negative. but you can't deny that this acceptance carries a LOT of weight, and sometimes, denial is sweeter than making peace with it.
vincent charbonneau is my personal aromantic allegory, and whether or not it was intentional, i honestly felt very seen in his character, and i think that is so so important :) hopefully this all made sense,, if there is anything strangely worded i will make it clearer!
#dead plate#dead plate game#dead plate spoilers#vincent charbonneau#rody lamoree#studio investigrave#aromantic#aroace#arospec#actually aromantic#actually aroace#character analysis#character thoughts#cw cannibalism#this took some time to put together because i was constantly overthinking my wording and characterization#i act as if i will be stoned in public if i accidentally mischaracterize a character#also i have some opinions about our aro or ace rep constantly being psychopathic antagonists or aliens#like cmon let's diversify it a bit!#but vince's story hits a little too close to home for me.. agh. tears out hair. he'll never be full this way#there's also a few trivia about vince that point at AROMANTIC with bright blinking arrows lol. personally.#him not wanting to settle and wanting to live for himself instead#the fact that if he had never met rody he would have created a successful business empire#and died without ever having experiencing romance#idk how reliable this one is but him being uncomfortable with being broken up with#so for the two relationships he's been in prior to the story#he initiated the breakups for both himself
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Manifesting your SP is easy if you have a clear mind and have removed all resistance. Assume the SP or anything you’re manifesting to be yours, remove any conflicting thoughts, and persist in the assumption and thoughts of already having it. Your only job is to change your thinking to what you want, not to change the 3D. The techniques are only to get you into the correct mindset and are not necessary. If you persist it’s already yours.
#manifestation#manifesting#manifesation#law of the universe#neville goddard#affirmations#law of assumption#self concept#affirm and persist#loa tumblr#loa success#loablr#shiftblr#Manifesting is literally easy stop overthinking it#Lizzy talks manifesting 💗💋💯
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#LIFE QUOTES#QUOTES#THOUGHTS#MOTIVATIONAL#INSPIRING QUOTES#SPILLED INK#SPILLED WORDS#WORDS#SPILLED THOUGHTS#PANDORA OWL#MY WRITING#SUCCESS#EMPOWERMENT#AMBITION#INSPIRATIONAL#DREAMS#OVERTHINKING#QUOTEOFTHEDAY#MINDSET#WRITERS ON TUMBLR
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Absolutely. Amazing btw that the episode title we made fun of for sounding like a draft was covering up the real plot. It’s about Connor’s wedding and it’s not. Logan could have went to his wedding and he could have gotten to a hospital faster, or died with his family all around him. But Connor’s wedding was so stupid and inconsequential to him that he decided he was going to focus on the kids that mattered to him by messing with them all the more. So he dies, alone, in a plane bathroom.
Roman leaves the voicemail because he’s upset, and scared that his dad is leaving him out to dry again. And because he asks, twice, if Logan is really going to miss Connor’s wedding. Shiv misses those crucial moments of maybe talking to her dad and believing that he can actually hear her, because she was off to tell Connor that Logan wasn’t coming to the wedding.
And Connor? Connor decides that Logan’s death is as inconsequential as Connor’s life was to Logan, and he gets married anyway. It’s all about Connor’s wedding, in that it’s all about how much it isn’t about Connor’s wedding and important that becomes.
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Hehehehe I’m so sorry it’s social media anon again (if I’m bugging you pls tell me to stop I’m so sry I just dk who else would maybe kinda be amused by this) but I just went and checked for Jorge’s retirement & found similar results (in regard to their interpersonal dynamics being pretty well represented in their posts / style):
Dani & Marc - cute, albeit slightly generic posts that are still v sweet. Marc’s I think was pretty clearly written by an sm manager lol…which kinda is still a good encapsulation of their dynamic overall ig
Casey - a slightly more meaningful caption that also managed to get in one last pretty slick neg on Jorge lmao. Casey…never change
Valentino - nothing :-( but like…ofc lol
already said with the last ask but obviously no complaints from me, I think these asks are super interesting!! I still haven't actually formulated a response to the valentino one but I've very much internalised it and like. integrated it into my ways of thinking
anyway yeah controversially I do actually like valentino not doing these retirement post things, like if I were him I reckon I'd also feel above it somehow. take from that what u will. but to me a lot of them end up having what you describe with the dani + marc posts, just kinda generic and social media-y and not really engaging with their actual dynamic and just... being something you do because you feel like you have to do the. valentino did say plenty of nice things in press about jorge at the time!! including this (previously posted here)
pretty sure I already linked to it in the last post, but obviously if we're talking jorge I do have an excuse to bring up dovi's response to jorge's retirement again which is. honestly. to me that's where retirement statements peaked. I kinda don't want any of them if they don't read like this
why is it giving connor eulogy succession scene
youtube
"I am here as a fellow human to acknowledge that lester has, as we know, passed on" "jorge was my rival because I met him in the european championship" pick your fighter
anyway back on topic. I quickly checked on twitter for casey's retirement post for jorge -
- and I'm very pleased to see he used that phillip island 2010 photo I recently posted. also... reverse image search doesn't throw anything up but I am 90% certain that the third photo is from sepang 2010. which is objectively perhaps the funniest presser he could have posted a photo from, except maybe. like. shanghai 2008. it's certainly up there. throwback to a time when valentino was a cunt to jorge ig. fond memories
as for the text. I mean, the thing is, I know what he MEANS when he says "most of my career" in that jorge wasn't even in the same class as casey for some years, but there were also so many ways of phrasing that same sentiment in a way that'd be a bit less neg-y lol. also casey's not even saying jorge was one of his toughest rivals for most of casey's career, so the implication kinda is that jorge did just suck some years and wasn't a tough 'competitor' at all. certainly not one of his toughest competitors when jorge was underperforming his machinery in 2008, right. it's nice enough I suppose!! congrats to jorge for being a tough competitor most of the time
#that succession scene makes me laugh every time but tell me dovi doesn't have the EXACT same energy#jorge was my rival. he arrived at the same time as me. he moved through the classes at the same time as me. thus he is my rival#when a rider retires it is sad. all of us will retire one day. in this case it is jorge who has done so#1. we were rivals. 2. he sure won a lot. 3. he crashed a lot which ig hurt his confidence idk man#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#alien tag#morale tag#not 2 overthink it but if i were casey i would've included a photo from the two seasons in which they were actually like. Main rivals
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I feel kind of silly for worrying if Lumi won’t reach it’s next crowdfund goal despite how much people have shown that yes, they do want to see this and my anxiety is just mean to me in thinking that they won’t.
At the same time it’s still a very real worry to have, but it also lead me to severely doubt myself last time and I feel if starting to creep in all over again…
#tbd#Evan bleats#but at the same time that doesn’t mean it’ll be successful#there’s so much I have to think about and I wonder if I’m overthinking about it too much…#i definitely want to be successful because I love Lumi and I want to tell a story that means a lot to me#but I can’t just let my own wishes and dreams get in the way of what’s Realistic#knowing that the pilot will probably be the only episode made#or maybe I’m just being too pessimistic???#I’m not trying to my brain is just like yes you can dream about this but u gotta consider the Reality too#ahhhh… x_x
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I love that way know almost essentially nothing about Diane's personality, and yet somehow through the small little hints that we've gotten I can completely see them being such a simple, lovey, awkward little dovey eyed couple together.
I can't believe there was ever a time when I thought Rick was actually the narcissist that he claimed that he was for the first three and a half seasons at least-he was literally just emulating the person that he was told that he should be by Prime and probably by other countless versions of himself and obviously as a defense towards the fact that all he ever wanted to be was Diane's husband, and having that taken away from him, the only thing that he had left was to emulate something that he never wanted to be to begin with.
He seems like such a dopey, simple, goofy soppy, sad sack of a man now. 💜 Compared to who he was in the first four seasons for sure, even season 5.
#rick and morty#rick sanchez#kind of reminds me of all the people in this society and world that probably initially just want to do simple sweet things#like find a husband and a wife and a family but they're gradually corrupted over. of time into thinking that they need to be#a complicated famous twisted successful interesting person#and then they lose anything that was actually worth living for#I'm ridiculously overthinking and melancholic tonight#I always am but I don't usually publicize it in the Rick and Morty tag
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