#i need to launch myself into the sun

[eldritchqueerture]

unmedicated adhd will have you scrolling through the same posts on your dash for the third time, asking yourself How Do I Leave the House, hoping the answer somehow appears in the posts

[kindahoping4forever]

Luke @ When We Were Young Fest - 22 October 2023

📸: Yising Kao

[iguessitsjustme]

🚂💛🧡❤🧡💛 it's a love train! send this to all the blogs you love! don’t forget to spread the love! 💛

<333 I just got home from work and after the day I had, I really needed this. Thank you!

[milo-is-rambling]

Anyone else got that praise only feels good coming from people who don’t know you thing or is it just me?

[b-blushes]

can u even believe it i have dealt with 2 of the issues that were taking up most of my brain power, cooked a very vegetable-rich lunch, did my laundry....... wow that's functional, baybee

[hourcat]

remember when pierre wore charles' hat out on public roads in the middle of the night just to make charles laugh in the driver's seat

[halonicheart]

Worthy is the Heart

Summary: In which Estinien dreams of a dreary ball swarmed with faceless strangers, a chivalrous lost soul, and two very important people dear to his heart. What could have easily been a nightmare was a tender yet bittersweet dream, one he didn't know he needed... ---- Time feels as though it moves slower here, wherever or whatever this place was, it wasn’t right. Estinien is at a loss for how much time exactly has passed when he finally can see something that was actually familiar. He reached the end of the sea of people, just a few wide strides ahead of him was a figure with their back facing him. They wore a flowing dress dark as night, long black hair curled at the ends, skin ghostly pale… He knew who this was. “Lovette” His voice barely above a whisper. “Lovette!” He wished so badly to rush to her side and pull her close, his heart swelling at the very thought. However, there is a hand grasping his arm. The glare he was ready to send whoever it was that grabbed him withers in mere seconds. An older Hyuran man with salt and pepper hair was giving him a crooked smile. For Alberic to be here, of all places…

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

Ok thoughts 👏thoughts👏Everyone gather around I have thoughts about this!

Episode 2 was clearly the Pomni episode. We got to see her character get a little more fleshed out and we also got a glimpse of what motivates her which is great.

With this tweet we have solid confirmation on who the upcoming episodes will center on (thanks for not making us guess, Goose) and this lineup is really interesting.

First fascinating thing is that Kinger and Zooble share a spotlight in ep 3. Why is that? Everyone else gets their own dedicated episodes so why are they unique in that regard? What connects them?

Well, I have one idea!

So we know since the pilot that Kinger has been the one to have lived in the Circus the longest out of all of them. We’re still not sure if he was in fact the 1st human to be trapped (maybe we’ll find out in the next episode) but he definitely has the most seniority, both in age and in length of entrapment.

We also know that Zooble was the most recent character to get stuck before Pomni (and considering their attitude, it may have even been quite a while beforehand) AND is the youngest character next to Jax (they even share the same age, which could be a coincidence but it feels too deliberate of a choice).

Which means ep 2 will simultaneously focus on the oldest and the youngest of the characters.

I’m actually curious as to what their dynamic will be because they haven’t really interacted much in the pilot (and like not at all in episode 2), if they end up interacting in ep 3 at all. But mostly I’m excited to see them more fleshed out with hopefully Pomni getting the chance to bond with them (either together or separately).

My guess is that the purpose for them to share focus on an episode is to get perspective from someone who’s been there the longest and has seen more people come and go than anyone else vs. someone who was just recently in Pomni’s shoes and had probably a much different first day experience (we know Zooble cared enough about Kaufmo to personally organize his funeral so they may have some…feelings about who’s essentially his replacement).

Ep3 is also supposedly Gooseworx’s most anticipated episode so I’m extra excited.

Next we have Gangle for episode 4. I honestly don’t have a lot to say about her or the significance in her episode placement outside of her being the closest in age to Pomni (being only a year older). The only hint we get about what her episode will possibly consist of will be on how reliant she is on her ComedyMask to feel happy, which will be very interesting and we might even get some confirmation on whether her avatar was programmed with that feature upon entering the Circus or if it was an add on of sorts by Caine to help keep her sane. A pretty shitty feature if it can’t last for very long but it does make for a nice metaphor about how fragile her facade is (girl is literally masking).

Actually I don’t think her and Pomni have actually exchanged words yet in the show. Wouldn’t it be funny if they don’t up until her episode. Like Pomni is so caught up in between whatever mess episode 3 has in store for Kinger and Zooble that the two of them never actually talk and it just keeps getting more awkward. Gangle wants to talk to her but is so self-conscious about her Tragedy self that she’ll only feel safe to have a conversation if she has her mask, but it just keeps breaking before she even gets the chance.

Again this is all just speculation, if they actually end up talking in episode 3 I’ll…make ship art of them.

Yeah

Anyway, episode 5. The one I’m personally waiting for because y’all should know what I’m about by now.

*Warning: Unhinged, borderline psychotic tangent incoming*

I swear to god if Pomni and Ragatha don’t have a fucking conversation before ep 5 I will launch myself into the sun. I’ll take anything, I just need them to get real for a second. I NEED to know the extent of this woman’s damage. It has to be explored, analyzed, and dissected and I will do so with gusto when the day comes. None of these characters will be safe from my scrutiny, but Ragatha oh ho ho, you have been living rent free in my head for too long, madame. You WILL pay your dues and I intend to collect in every episode until there is not corner of your unsound mind that I have not examined in great detail!

Ahem *Straightens tie* Ok back to business

So yeah, Ragatha.

It may be because we’ve only had 2 episodes but I can’t help but feel like we’re supposed to see Ragatha as a sort of deuteragonist since out of all of the supporting characters she’s so far been getting the most focus aside from Jax, and we’ll get to him in a minute (I promise that’s not just me being biased, or maybe it is, I don’t know, you tell me).

In just two episodes we’ve seen more of what makes her tick compared to anyone else. And of the main cast she’s been the ONLY one to make any kind of connection to the main character and have enough of a meaningful interaction with her to leave an impression.

But this is what really clinched her role as a deuteragonist for me, she’s so far been one of the few to have the narrative briefly shift to her perspective to give us significant character moments like these:

The show REALLY wants us to see just how NOT ok she is.

If she’s meant to be the heart of the group, her heart already can’t take much more damage. Her friendship (if you can call it that, it’s so painfully one sided right now) with Pomni clearly means a lot to her, so much so that her entire sense of self worth seems to be tied to it (and if you’ve been paying attention, she doesn’t have a lot of that as it is). It would be nice to see their connection gradually grow before her designated episode, where she might experience actual growth for herself.

And if episode 2 is any indication of how this show preserves friendships well…

Yeah, I don’t think she’s gonna make it.

In fact, I’m willing to bet actual money that she’s either gonna abstract in episode 5 or episode 6.

Which brings us to Jax’s episode! The other deuteragonist…tritagonist? He definitely shares some degree of significant narrative focus along with Pomni and Ragatha. He’s both an active antagonist force and one of the only characters to drive the plot forward every time he’s on screen (then there’s that weird thing where he keeps breaking the fourth wall).

He has so much significance in the story that Gooseworx gave him his own bullet point in her list of content warnings (this could also be a joke, but I mean it would be funny to see just how despicable they can make this character).

Gooseworx also described Jax and Pomni’s relationship in the show as “messy”. After episode 2, I don’t think she considers him as a candidate for any kind friendship like she did for the others, and who could blame her? In just two days the guy abandoned her to deal with an abstraction and chucked her out of a truck. He’s no one’s favorite person, and he relishes that. Bunnyboy definitely has some issues that Pomni would pick up on the more she’s forced to spend time with him. To the point where I can see her trying to eventually form some kind of bridge because, as her previously established character motivation implies, she’s not the kind of person to intentionally leave anyone high and dry. But unlike the rest of the crew, I don’t think Jax would be inclined to change for the better just because someone took pity on him. He seems like the kinda guy to dig his heels in and commit to his bad behavior out of spite.

And for his episode to come after Ragatha’s, why do I get the feeling the reason Gooseworx went so far as to preemptively apologize to bunnydoll shippers specifically is because he’s gonna cause something really really bad to happen to her (could be abstraction, could even be something much worse) that he would come to sorely regret.

And oh boy would that evoke some feelings in everyone!

I feel like if that is indeed the direction this show is going, the rest of the episodes will really be something.

I’m also certain Caine will get his own episode but right now he is very much an antagonist to these characters. I wouldn’t go so far as to call him a villain, but he’s certainly not someone Pomni is keen on sympathizing with, at least not currently.

Thanks again @lilyclawthorne for helpfully providing me with the tweet so I can give some context for my ramblings of the week!

[currebunz]

Homecoming (Kenji Sato x Singer!Reader)

A/N: I decided to start something like a series. I'll rework a more detailed version of Captured at a later date.

Word was that Kenji Sato was returning to Japan. The sun rose, the sky was clear and the day seemed just right. Of course, you already knew he was coming back as you were the first person he told about his big move. You were excited to see your long time friend again, but things were different. You both were different. Kenji had become more boastful, the hard work he had put in paid off and he was reveling in the attention. He was a man now, not the boy you had known.

You had also changed, launching your singing career and becoming somewhat of an idol. Although you called yourself a musician and a singer, your fanbase rivaled that of idols. You remained humble, finding the spotlight to be too much and keeping your public appearances to concerts and TV programs. The contrast between you two was nearly like night and day. However, you didn’t let that concern you. All that mattered was getting to reunite with Kenji again.

Kenji had arrived the day before, but he needed some time to sort out his living situation as he told you. Not to pry, you decided to make plans with him before he started to pile on work. You called him with a video call, smiling at his sleepy expression.

“Don’t tell me jetlag kicked the Kenji Sato’s ass” you laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. You try taking a red eye half way across the world and then talk” Kenji yawned.

Even if he was a bit disheveled, he somehow made it look attractive.

“Uh huh, and who was it that said ‘the second I get off the plane we are going places?’” you asked.

“I know, I forgot about the press meeting. I’ll make it up to you somehow” Kenji sighed.

Naturally, the moment he returned to Japan the press was foaming at the mouth to get an interview with him. He had his hands tied as he couldn’t deny the publicity and the chance to look good.

“You can make it up to me with…. Okonomiyaki” you said.

“What? Okonomiyaki? You realize you are getting to chill with the Kenji Sato right? We could have anything in all of Japan! Sashimi, Fugu, Wagyu! And you want Okonomiyaki?” Kenji chuckled.

“If I wanted any of that, I’d get it myself. Besides, don’t you remember after every game we’d go out and get Okonomiyaki? You, your mom and dad, my mom’s and I would go to a local place” you began.

“Yeah, and dad would try to flip the whole thing,” Kenji sighed as he remembered.

“And all the toppings would fly off. I smelled like Bonito for three days” you laughed.

Kenji grinned, looking softer now. It made you happy seeing him like this. It reminded you of the past when he would be glued to your side.

“You think you had it bad? My uniform smelled like Okonomiyaki sauce for a week!” he laughed.

You couldn’t help but laugh, recalling the tragedy of Kenji’s baseball uniform. Thankfully, your moms helped Emiko get the scent out in time for his game. As the laughter subsided, you had a silly smile on your face as you looked at Kenji.

“Well, I still want Okonomiyaki” you said.

“Fine, how about afterward?” he suggested.

“It’s gotta be before my concert” you reminded him.

“Shit, that’s right. You have a concert tonight” Kenji hissed.

You had to resist the frown from showing on your face. Of course he had forgotten, Kenji Sato was a busy man. So busy he couldn’t keep track of your schedule, even after you shared it with him.

“It’s alright, we can do it another day. Maybe when we both aren’t so busy” you sighed.

Kenji looked a bit panicked, his steel blue eyes going wide before he cleared his throat.

“N-No, no. I want to do it as soon as possible. I mean… I want to see you. In person” he said.

You hung your head low and sighed. Honestly, hearing him say that made it hard for you to meet his eyes. You slowly raised your head and gave him a wry smile.

“Alright, we can try,” you agreed.

“Maybe Kenji Sato could get VIP backstage access to the concert and surprise you?” he smirked.

“Uh-huh, I’ll let the staff know to let you in. Just don’t make yourself at home in my dressing room. I have important things in there” you rolled your eyes at him.

“Things more important than me?” he teased.

“Oh please, you know there isn’t anything more important to me than you. Well, maybe my bass guitar” you snickered.

Kenji started laughing too, relaxed that you had forgiven him and given him another chance.

“I’ll see you tonight, you’re going to be great,” he said.

“Hit a home run at the press meeting” you said back.

The call ended there, as both of you were called away for the evening. You had been in your dressing room preparing for the concert. On a large monitor was the press meeting where Kenji was… well, himself. It made your stomach tighten over how cocky he was being. You knew it would spell trouble for him with his team. But hopefully they would see the Kenji you knew.

Or rather used to know.

“[y/n] The venue has let the audience in, we're ready to go on,” your secretary announced.

“Right, thank you Kohaku” you nodded.

The show must go on, regardless of how you felt. As you left your dressing room, you turned off the monitor, Kenji’s smirk faded to black before you turned to leave. Your mind shifted to the performance, clearing your head of any other thoughts than your songs and choreography. As you stepped onto the stage, the venue exploded in cheers.

“What a huuuuuge crowd! I think we could bring the whole venue down!” you shouted.

Your fans screamed a loud response back, not that you could really understand it.

“Let’s get this show on the road! One, two, three!” you shouted.

As the music began, the crowd sang along and cheered. It was no different from your previous concerts, everything came to you easily. You could feel yourself begin to sweat as the set list made it to the halfway point. Just as it was about to reach the point where you did your signature set, a loud alarm blasted through the venue.

“Warning, Kaiju attack” came through the speakers and on every screen.

You watched as the fans began to file out, the staff guiding them to the nearest exits. You jumped off the stage, assisting the people in barricades to take the back stage exit with your staff.

“[y/n]! We have to get going!” Kohaku called to you.

“Not until everyone is safe!” you shouted back.

You looked around for any stragglers. There was a group of teens carrying one on their shoulders. You ran over to assess the situation.

“She fell and her leg got trampled, she can’t walk” one of the teens explained.

A loud roar came from above and the ground began to shake.

“Take her through the back, follow Kohaku out” you took them as you pointed to your secretary.

The teens nodded, hurrying over to Kohaku who took on the weight of the injured teen. As you watched them leave, you hear another loud roar. Metal crunched and screeched as a huge shadow loomed over. You weren’t sure what you were seeing but it was a Kaiju for sure. And it was falling backward onto the venue.

Your legs felt stiff as you hurried to run away, just in any direction to avoid being crushed. When the Kaiju finally fell backward onto the venue, you were launched into the air. Everything went dark as you felt heavy weight on your body and pain radiating through your limbs. It hurts to breathe let alone move.

“[y/n]! [y/n]!” Kohaku called for you.

You couldn’t open your mouth, the dust and dirt surrounded you. Nearby, you saw a light stick and turned it on. You hoped the light would signal to Kohaku where you were. After a few minutes, you could hear footsteps approaching.

“Right here! I need a rescue here!” Kohaku shouted.

The debris keeping you down was removed and you were rushed to a hospital.

----

The next day, you had your arm in a sling. It wasn’t bad, but you had bruises and pulled muscles. But you weren’t cleared to do any work. You had been lucky enough that Kohaku let you still attend the TV program you had agreed to be a special guest for.

“It’s not like they are going to make me do push ups,” you sighed.

“You're injured, that is going to be a beacon for gossip,” Kohaku said.

“People are going to talk regardless, at least let me have some fun while it happens” you begged.

That was how you ended up on a chair in a TV studio waiting for the cameras to start rolling. What you didn’t expect was for Kenji to be the other special guest.

“[y/n]? You’re the other guest? This is… this is great-” he stopped when he saw your arm in a sling.

“Oh yeah, we got good chemistry so we can bounce off each other” you grinned.

But Kenji just stared at your wounded arm.

“It looks worse than it feels, I’ll live” you began.

“What happened?” he asked.

“D-Don’t worry about it” you said nervously.

Before he could press further, the host interrupted you both to start the show. You forced the best smile you could, feeling Kenji’s eyes on you. The talk show started on a humorous note as the host made puns regarding both Kenji’s and your profession. It was only a matter of time before the conversation shifted to your injury.

“That’s quite the shiner you’ve got there, wasn’t it from the Kaiju attack last night?” the host asked.

“Uh… yeah. Neronga kinda fell on the venue. These things happen” you replied.

“Talk about going out with a bang, how are you holding up?” the host asked.

“I’m fine, I just need some rest” you said.

“You should’ve rested today” Kenji scolded you.

You turned to him, keeping your lips in a thin line.

“Who knew Kenji Sato was a mother hen? Looks like he does care about something other than baseball!” the host joked at your expense.

The audience laughed but you ignored his comment.

“Anyways, the KDF took care of that monster before it could turn you into a pancake. Any thoughts about it?” the host asked.

“I mean, I’m grateful the KDF managed to take care of the situation. But Ultraman kept the fighting away from my venue. I think if the KDF had let him fight it at least the destruction would have been avoided” you answered.

Kenji stared at you, swallowing as a frown set on his features.

“But didn’t Ultraman run away? I think he bit off more than he could chew back there” the host laughed.

Cue another laugh from the audience.

“We all have our bad days, I want to believe he’ll save us next time” you argued.

You turned to Kenji, noticing he looked rather guilty.

“Don’t you think so too?” you asked.

“He snapped out of the dark thoughts swarming in his head, blinking before nodding.

“Uh yeah, sure he will,” he said with false confidence.

After the show had concluded, you started to meet up with Kohaku. You heard someone jogging behind you and already knew it was Kenji.

“Hey, can we talk for a minute?” he asked.

“What’s this about? You standing me up or not answering your phone?” you asked.

Kenji cursed to himself, he had told Mina to direct all calls to voicemail.

“Both, let’s go. Right now. I know you have nothing planned with that keeping you busy” he said as he pointed to your arm sling.

You pouted at him, furrowing your brows.

“Okonomiyaki” you huffed.

“Yeah, yeah. I know” he laughed.

Kohaku was annoyed to hear that you had skipped out with Kenji. You hadn’t said that it was on his motorcycle either. There had to be some kind of rule against riding with only one good arm. But you threw caution to the wind as you used one arm to keep you grounded to Kenji. Although, he had driven more carefully knowing you were at risk of falling off. When you both reached the old Okonomiyaki restaurant, the memories began to come back.

“This place hasn’t changed a bit,” you said in awe.

“Don’t fix what isn’t broken or something” Kenji chuckled.

You both sat down and began to create a monster of an order. It felt like you were both kids again, mixing things and exploring new combinations. When it came time to make the pancake, you looked at Kenji with a sly grin.

“All right hot shot, you gotta cook it,” you said.

“You can at least put the topping on with your good arm,” Kenji rolled his eyes.

“Just make sure you don’t flip it on my head” you snickered.

“Oh ha, ha. Like I can’t flip a pancake” Kenji sarcastically laughed.

“Says the guy who ended up taking an Okonomiyaki shower” you continued to tease him.

“Hm, maybe you should try one,” he said as he filled a spoon with Okonomiyaki sauce.

Kenji leaned over the table to push it closer to your face.

“Ken! Don’t you dare!” you squealed.

You both began to calm down as your hunger became more apparent. Kenji managed to keep all the toppings on and flip the pancake. Now it was time to eat. You grabbed a spoon, unable to eat properly with your non-dominant hand. Kenji watched you clumsily try to eat with the spoon.

“Okay, hold up” he said and stood up.

He grabbed his chair, moving from sitting across the table from you to sitting adjacent to you. He was close enough to bump elbows with you. He raised his chopstick to your mouth.

“Say ‘Ah’” his voice came out playful as he held up a bite sized piece.

“You can’t be serious” you said as you felt your cheeks heating up.

“Hey, I’m doing you a favor,” he teased.

You rolled your eyes and opened your mouth. The both of you moved forward and the bite sized piece of Okonomiyaki made it into your mouth.

“Oh! So good!” you exclaimed as your cheeks tingle.

“Uh huh? See? And you didn’t want my help” Kenji smirked as he fed himself.

As much as you hated yourself for thinking about it, this was an indirect kiss. You pushed the thought to the back of your mind and hummed loudly.

“Well, if you insist. Then you can feed me” you laughed.

[eldritchqueerture]

someone in my circle better get caught up with Malevolent and become a Patreon supporter right this second because im going to explode

[nestasminiaturepegasus]

Because y'all love selective reading...

Nesta doesn't care about anyone but herself.

refusing to leave Cassian as he dies in ACOWAR

"What I care about is making sure no children-fae or human-are harmed."

Staying by Cassian's side as he dies in ACOSF

Staying behind so that her friends could survive the rite.

"She would save him, save them, even if it took everything."

Nesta needs to acknowledge what Feyre did for her/how she treated her!

"But beneath the wall, I witnessed children-entire families-starve to death. Were it not for my sister...I would be among them."

"It consumed me so much that...that I let Feyre go into that forest and told myself I didn't care."

"Wished someone would smother the voice that whispered every horrible thing she'd ever done, every awful thought she'd had, every person she'd failed."

"You loved me when no one else would. You never stopped. Even when I didn't deserve it, you loved me, and fought for me."

"I swallowed my shout of pain as Nesta's arms went around my neck, and she embraced me so hard it snatched my breath away." "Her body shook, shook as she sobbed, and said over and over and over, thank you."

Nesta didn't experience enough trauma to act the way she did!

girl, bye be so fr

comparing trauma is gross, and if you think you have any right to do so, you won't fit in on my page :)

Nesta thinks she is superior to everyone around her. 

"I am worthless and I am nothing. I hate everything I am, and I am so, so tired. I am tired of wanting to be anywhere but in my own head."

"You're right to hide your children from me, I am the monster you fear."

"She had been suffering, and he'd had no idea how much it consumed every facet of her life. He'd seen her self-loathing and anger-but hadn't realized how much she'd been away of it. How much it had eaten her up."

Nesta can never allow anyone to love her.

"Nesta leaned forward until their brows touched. And despite all that brimmed in her heart, all that flowed through her body, sure and true, she merely whispered, thank you."

"I love you, too, Feyre whispered to her sister, and smiled. Nesta didn't stop her sob as she launched herself onto Feyre and embraced her."

"I didn't know how long my sisters and I lay there together, just like we had once shared that carved bed in that dilapidated cottage. Then-back then, we had kicked and twisted and fought for any bit of space, any breathing room. But that morning, as the sun rose over the world, we held tight. And we did not let go."

[sh0tanzz]

ACKK, do more members as bfs with astrology for riize pls !!!

glad I got this asks bc I can now gloat about my man 😛

sungchan as your boyfriend based on astrology !

(reminder that this for fun and astrology is something I study for a hobby, these are all inferences based off of observations and not exact fact unless I knew him myself !!)

warnings: small mention of sexual innuendo but nothing extremely graphic I'll only do NSFW asks if requested.

I am so in love with his chart.

Virgo Sun: A common trait I see in Virgo suns/risings is that they truly want to be the best optimal versions of themself. They are always finding ways to improve themselves or look/be their best whether its physically or mentally. (This may explain why many virgo sun/rising male idols are into working out, health or self help books. Sungchans interested in all 3 btw😭) But these traits would probably amp up when he's with you, he wouldn't want to slack when it came to his looks or personhood when with you especially since he has so many placements hinting at wanting to seem his best for you. Would want nothing more but to feel appreciated and valued and would give the same to you. He'd help you with relatively anything even if he didn't know much about the task or topic. He'd also ask you a lot of questions (not as much as a virgo mercury would but..) he'd be very interested in quite literally anything you had going on and would try to relate and insert himself in the things you speak about due to his venus.

Cancer Moon: Cancer is at home when it's in the moon so most people with this placement can be very emotional. He'd have to become close to you before fully pursuing anything. He would care about your opinions and validate your feelings. He'd showcase his domestic chore abilities so you'd view him as reliable. Downside is cancer moons have a hard time letting go of hurts so if you accidentally made him feel a type of way he may have a hard time fully letting go. Pretty sensitive to criticism. Would like comfort activities, a bath, a night swim at the beach, watching nostalgic movies, comfort food. I feel like he tries to be all macho and masc when really his emotional subconscious says otherwise 😭

Libra Mercury: Sungchan is his name and flirting is his game. He quite LITERALLY would know what to say to make you giggle and kick your feet. Would probably send goodmorning/night text (With his Leo Venus and Cancer Moon please send one back). Honestly his Virgo sun paired with this Libra mercury makes me feel like he'd gossip like crazyyyy with you. However his Sun and Mercury paired makes me feel like he'd overthink and be indecisive and have to confide in you about his thoughts. Would be good at calming you down and helping you level out your thoughts when you're upset or in a tense situation.

Leo Venus: With his Venus in Leo he'd most definitely brag about you. Even if the relationship had to be kept under wraps he'd soft launch or hint at your existence to others whether it's through wearing something -you- bought him publicly or if staff asked about his week he'd say "I spent time with a REALL GOOD friend of mine". With his virgo sun paired with his leo venus he'd absolutely need praise, it wouldn't just be a want it'd be a NEED for him to hear you compliment+praise him especially on his talents. Honestly the proudness from his venus, the provider energy from his mars..his chart overall points to him just wanting to please/spoil you whilst also getting praise, recognition and attention in return. He'd surprise you with gifts that aren't typical regular gifts they'd hold some heavy value to them (Like an expensive piece of jewelry or the last pair of a specific shoe you wanted that was on sale). The only downsides I see is that he may nag if he feels like you're not taking care of yourself or your business since his Venus makes him see you as an extension of himself and his Virgo sun and Capricorn mars relatively wanting structure and perfection for both you and him. All in all GIVE HIM ATTENTIONNNNNN.

Capricorn Mars: Whew tbh this placement is hot i'm sorry (It's the cap stellium in me.) BUT ANYWAY ! Before the relationship even began once he realized he liked you he had to make his way to you, even if it was a process he HAD to make his way to you. He'd observe you, see if you two seem compatible and once he sees a chance he'd surely make his way to the kill. I feel like this mars paired with his venus shows that he would NOT play about you. He'd quite literally want nobody else to even consider the thought that you could ever give them the attention or time you give him. Would want to be a "provider" in some sense even if you can take care of yourself. Capricorn rules the skeletal structure so he'd compliment and be super into your body's silhouette/shape, it also rules the teeth + skin (bitemarks, harsh hickies), and the knees + joints...let me not continue.

Other Aspects:

Moon/Sun Sextile: Very easygoing since his inner emotions and expression is balanced and in alignment with his ego and outer expression, however it may sometimes lead to him being a little too comfortable at times because confrontation is sometimes needed and he may avoid it (his cap mars may aid with that however)

Moon/Mercury Square: He may have a constant battle between being logical and letting his moods affect his choices and will look to you for help when his mind feels like it's constantly see-sawing, however he might pretend to be stoic before asking you for help :(

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Unpredictable, Part 8-Limoreau x black!fem!reader fic

A/N: This took me way too long to write but as per usual, please let me know what you think and if you want more.

Warnings: angst, negative family dynamics, eating issues, body issues, and swearing.

Word Count: 7.8k

Series Masterlist

Taglist: @badbishsblog, @gardenof-venus, @morelovemorepeacemoretattoo-blog, @kasslucilfer, @darksoul100

Luke’s smile would have been more contagious if my thoughts were not so jumbled. Even though he was standing right across from me, my brain refused to believe he was real. Sure, he was wearing his favorite brown jacket over a t-shirt with jeans, and the sun (or whatever light) highlighted the natural glow around him. But, it was impossible.

“Impossible?” Luke asked. “That’s a little harsh.”

I hesitated and pressed the back of my hand to my forehead. “Sorry, this is a lot to take in.”

But I could see the scene in my mind’s eye: the Vought clean-up crew hosing the blood off the cobblestone in front of Lamplighter, the chunks of Luke they put in biohazard bags, and the smell---

I wretched at the thought of it and tried not to double over. Luke rushed over to me and softly grasped my shoulders.

“Hey, are you okay, Y/N?” he asked.

“No,” I muttered, shaking my head. “I…I saw you die, and this is a messed up joke if this is a joke. Or…”

Luke sighed. “You’re not dead if that’s what you’re thinking.”

He slowly backed away and I straightened up. Then, I launched myself at him and he caught me in a bear hug, laughing as he did. The scent of pine and clean aftershave almost made me cry.

“I miss you,” I mumbled into his chest.

“I miss you too,” he replied.

“I wish none of this happened. Why didn’t you tell any of us what was going on?” I demanded.

Luke paused. “I didn’t know how but, it sounds like you guys are figuring things out.”

I slowly pulled away from Luke and eyed him. “How can you tell?”

Luke pursed his lips. “I’m a manifestation of Cate’s subconsciousness. So, I see everything she sees.”

At his words, my eyes wandered around the forest. At first glance, it looked like any other forest with large trees and whistling wind. But on closer inspection, there were no woodland creatures, no sounds of birds, and the sky was more like a large gray cloud with red cracks that flashed every few seconds.

“I’m in Cate’s head?”

“You catch on quick but then again, you always do.”

I looked up at Luke. “So, if I’m in here, what’s happening to my body? And where’s everyone else?”

“You touched Cate when she was in extreme duress and she retreated to her mind but she brought you with her,” Luke explained. “Your body could be experiencing several things: seizure, vomiting, a comatose state, or hysteria.”

I groaned. “So, her going into shock put me in shock?”

“Pretty much.”

Another shock of lightning flashed across the “sky” but this time, it struck and destroyed a boulder that was about thirty feet away from Luke and me. The crash made me jump and Luke grabbed my arm.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“She’s kind of self-destructing. This hasn’t happened before and the only way to get out is if she wakes up,” Luke warned.

“So, I just need to find Cate and wake us both up,” I confirmed with a nod.

Lightning cracked through the sky and I jumped further into Luke’s grip.

“Basically but you don’t have a lot of time. If she doesn’t wake up, you’ll be stuck here forever.”

His words hung heavy over me and I could feel pressure weighing down on my shoulders. Somehow, I had to find Cate and snap her out of this state. Even though she’d been through a lot in the last few hours, she didn’t have to go this far.

I managed a smile. “Well, at least I have you here as a guide.”

Luke straightened up and puffed out his chest. “Of course. So, all you have to do---”

An instant later, a flash of lightning took him with it. It was difficult to tell whether knowing he was already dead made this second loss easier or harder. At the same time, it was nice to see Luke again, to talk to him, and touch him.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to think. The best course of action would be to try to use my powers again and figure out the best route out. It definitely could not hurt after the last couple of tries.

I closed my eyes and focused on the best way to find Cate. However, it was like my powers didn’t exist at all. Before, it felt like they were just out of reach and this was definitely worse.

I opened my eyes as I felt my heartbeat pick up.

“Breathe, Y/N, breathe,” I hissed.

There was no time for my anxiety to spike. No one else was here except me and Cate and I was the only one who could find her.

After a few deep breaths, I opened my eyes and saw a large glossy oak door standing in front of me. The door looked familiar, and I couldn’t stop myself from grabbing its knob and pushing it open.

Seconds later, the bright light stunned me as I wandered into the space. When my eyes adjusted, I realized that I was in Dean Shetty’s office, complete with the expensive furniture and tapestry. Dean Shetty sat at her desk and stirred some sugar into her cup of tea. Cate was sitting across from her but she looked much more innocent, like she had when we first met.

She sipped from a pristine teacup and tapped her gloved fingers against the porcelain. She wore a white varsity sweater and ripped jeans.

“How is your first week as a sophomore?” Dean Shetty asked.

Cate nodded. “It’s going well so far. It feels different.”

“That’s only a natural feeling. You are much more in control of your powers and you are more experienced.”

“Thank you, Indira, it’s all because of your help.”

Dean Shetty shook her head and set her teacup down. “No, I only supported you; you did a lot of work. You are in the Top 20 for a reason.” She clasped her hands together. “Considering your progress, I think it’s time that I give you a new challenge.”

Cate raised her eyebrows. “Challenge?”

“Yes. I believe it is time for you to pass on what you learned and that you are ready now. There is a freshman that I would like you to meet. She is an incredibly bright, talented supe but, she needs some guidance to realize her full potential.” Dean Shetty grinned. “Considering how similar your abilities are, I believe you would be a fantastic match as her peer mentor.”

Cate paused. “Peer mentor?”

“Yes, a guide of sorts about how to succeed at Godolkin; who to befriend, what events to engage with, and how to gain more control over your abilities. These sorts of things tend to come better from someone who is of a similar age. What do you think?”

Even though it sounded like a question, it wasn’t. Dean Shetty’s tone was light but her eyes seemed to darken slightly and she straightened up a little as she eyed Cate. Cate stared at the teacup in her hand for a while, mulling things over.

“Okay, if you think it’s a good idea, then I’m open to it,” Cate declared.

Dean Shetty smiled. “Wonderful.”

“When do I meet her?”

A second later, someone knocked on the door behind me and Dean Shetty rose from her seat.

“Right now,” she commented.

As she walked towards me, Dean Shetty’s gaze never left the door. Even as she walked past me, she didn’t acknowledge me.

“They probably can’t see me,” I concluded.

Dean Shetty opened the door in one flawless motion but she stood in a way where I couldn’t see who was on the other side.

“Am I early?” a soft voice asked.

“No, you have impeccable timing. Come on in.”

Dean Shetty stepped aside and in walked a very anxious freshman version of myself. I watched as my freshman self fought to not grab at the black tennis skirt that swayed when she walked. The silk pressed curls bounced against the middle of her back as she approached Dean Shetty’s desk.

Cate stood when freshman me got close enough and Dean Shetty stood next to me.

“Cate, I’d like you to meet Y/N Y/L/N. She’s at the top of Brink’s first-year class and I am confident her star will continue to rise with proper guidance,” Dean Shetty announced.

Freshman me extended a hand towards Cate and Cate accepted it. “It’s nice to meet you. I saw your TikTok on supe psychology and it was really cool.”

Did I always ramble that much?

“I’m glad you liked it and it’s nice to meet you too,” Cate responded.

Dean Shetty gestured for Cate and freshman me to sit and she poured freshman me a cup of tea. “I was just telling Cate that I think she would be a wonderful peer mentor.”

“Peer mentor?” I echoed.

“Yes, someone your age who can help guide you through GOD U. I’m sure you’ve noticed how hectic it can be and not everyone survives here. Any freshman would kill to have personal time with a Top 20 supe but they do not all meet the standard to do so.”

Freshman me’s eyes widened with each word Dean Shetty spoke. “That’s amazing but, why me?”

“Like I said you are exceptional in your classes already and your skill set and Ms. Dunlap’s are similar and cause similar side effects. I believe she can help you navigate that as well as all things GOD U.”

Freshman me turned to Cate and smiled softly. “If you’re okay with it…”

“Of course. What is your ability, by the way?”

Freshman me rattled off my ability and Cate nodded, impressed. Then, Dean Shetty’s cell phone rang and she excused herself to take it. Cate leaned closer to Freshman Me.

“Don’t be so nervous. I already know that we’ll be friends,” she smiled.

Freshman me grinned in reply and I could feel the residual giddiness or that could have been me remembering this day. Cate was so impressive at that point that I was afraid that she wouldn’t want to be stuck with me or ignore me. But the anger that rose at the sight of Cate’s grin leapt out of me.

“If we were such good friends, why did you trap me in your head?” I hissed.

Cate turned to me. “I wasn’t lying, Y/N. I thought your powers were impressive and I could tell how powerful you were when we first met. I still want us to be friends.”

I stomped over to her. “Then, let’s get out of here. We can go together; we don’t have to stay here.”

But as quickly as she was there, she was gone. Suddenly, I was in the corner of the training gym and Luke, Andre, and Jordan were hanging out on the other end. Jordan was in their female form, wearing a baggy tank top and loose sweatpants, something they’d rarely wear outside of a memory.

I remembered this, this was the first time I ever trained with the Top Five. Cate had dragged me to the gym, insisting that I meet her friends and almost-boyfriend while also improving my combat skills. At the time, I thought she was crazy and that maybe it was a cruel prank but her genuine smile and encouragement were comforting.

Slowly, I approached the group, moving to stand near Jordan and listening to the conversation.

“So, who’s this girl Cate’s bringing?” Andre asked.

“Her mentee. Shetty set them up, but she sounds excited,” Luke answered.

“You don’t have a name?” Jordan asked.

Luke laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Cate mentioned it, but I can’t remember.”

Jordan rolled her eyes. “Well, this freshman better not waste my time.”

Luke playfully elbowed her. “Stop being so grumpy. If Shetty paired Cate with her, it probably means she’s impressive. At least give her a chance.”

Jordan scowled. “Why do you always have to be nice?”

Andre clapped his hands on Luke’s shoulders. “Because he’s Golden Boy.”

Watching past Jordan in all their surliness was jarring and I felt like a freshman again.

A second later, the training door opened, and I watched as Cate strutted in confidently with an arm wrapped around freshman me’s shoulders. I could feel the terror and anxiety wafting off freshman me as I watched her nervously eye the trio.

“Sorry, we’re late!” Cate called.

“It’s okay,” Luke insisted with a dazzling grin.

I giggled as Freshman me’s knees wobbled; it was funny how such a short time ago I couldn’t even make eye contact with Luke.

“Everyone, this is Y/N Y/L/N, my peer mentee. She’s doing amazing in her crim classes but needs a little help with combat,” Cate explained.

Freshman me did a small wave to everyone and Andre smirked as he swaggered up to her.

“Cate was keeping you all to herself, huh?” Andre commented.

Freshman me hesitated. “Uh…”

“Relax, Andre,” Luke said.

“Yeah, I don’t want you freaking her out with all that rizz,” Cate mocked.

Andre rolled his eyes and muttered something about the couple being “cockblockers”.

“Oh, you must know Jordan since they TA the first-year class,” Luke acknowledged.

“Um, sort of, we never…really…talk,” Freshman me admitted.

“Aw, don’t be scared of Jordan, their bark is worse than their bite,” Cate encouraged.

Andre raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”

Jordan scoffed. “I’ll give you this, you’re the least annoying freshman.”

“Thanks?”

“Okay, let’s split up into pairs.” Cate turned to Freshman me. “Don’t worry about getting hurt----we never go all out in training and we only spar until someone’s knocked out of bounds.”

Freshman me nodded and I watched as she side-eyed Jordan. Even though I’d known that I’d have to spar with them, it didn’t make my nervousness any better. However, the four of them split up amongst themselves, with Andre and Luke going first, followed by Cate and Jordan, and decided that the winners of those rounds would play rock-paper-scissors to determine who sparred with me.

Andre and Luke’s fight was interesting, and I forgot how close of a match they were. Of course, Luke used his fire and flying abilities to his advantage, but Andre was still a force to be reckoned with. Luke still won and Andre grinned as Luke helped him to his feet afterwards. Cate and Jordan’s fight was as surprisingly decent as I remembered. Even though Jordan switched between their forms depending on the circumstance, Cate managed to keep up for a while. It wasn’t until Jordan leg swept her, knocking her out of bounds, that the fight ended.

“Not…fair,” Cate panted as she sat up.

“Don’t be a sore loser,” Jordan teased as she helped her up.

Cate smirked and they stepped out of the ring. Andre playfully rubbed his hands together.

“So, who gets to fight the freshman?” he sang.

“It’s Y/N,” Cate corrected.

“Right, sorry.”

Freshman me smiled softly as she stood from her seat and walked closer to the group. Luke and Jordan faced each other and played rock-paper-scissors. Playing best out of three was a little cruel since Freshman me hoped to spar with Luke. At the very least, he would be nice when I inevitably lost. Jordan was difficult to read but I’d had a feeling that they would taunt me about losing.

When Jordan won, I couldn’t read their expression but Freshman me was terrified.

“Stop looking like I’m going to kill you,” Jordan snapped.

Freshman me jumped and Cate placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Like I said, don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” she whispered.

At the time, I was so frazzled that I couldn’t focus on the outcome of the fight. Instead, I had focused on keeping my lunch down. Instead of joining Andre, Cate, and me on the sidelines, Luke stood on the mat, a couple of feet outside the circle. He waited a couple of seconds before signaling for Freshman me and Jordan to spar.

My shoulders hiked up towards my ears as I watched Freshman me clumsily evade Jordan’s attacks. At that time, I’d learned how to predict my opponent’s movements but I rarely landed strong attacks. Brink thought that because my mental strength was so high my physical strength had no choice but to lag.

“It would be unfair at that point. But, as a future supe, you do need to learn the basics,” he’d instructed.

Freshman me’s form was all over the place; her guard slipped every few seconds, her feet never had solid contact with the ground, and any kick or punch was weak at worst and sloppy at best. I cringed when she took a small energy blast from Jordan that knocked her out of bounds. It didn’t hurt but it was definitely a shock at the time.

“Jordan!” Cate admonished as she jumped to her feet.

She started to rush forward but Andre held her back and Luke shook his head.

“She’s fine,” Luke mouthed.

Freshman me panted on the ground, sweat staining the lime green Alo set she wore a couple of shades darker. Jordan shifted into their male form as they sauntered over to me and extended a hand. Freshman me stared at his hand like it would turn into a snake at any second.

“Come on, you just saw I won’t bite,” he quipped.

At his words, Freshman me accepted his hand and Jordan pulled her to her feet in one move. I smiled as she almost bumped into him, but Jordan steadied her by gripping my forearms.

“I never thought you’d be this clumsy,” he commented.

Freshman me huffed. “I’m, uh, usually not this bad.”

“Well, your form needs some work, and you need to build up more confidence when you’re on the offense. But, you were great at evading me.” “Until that last move.”

“Not a lot of people could avoid that, especially not a freshman. Don’t worry, we’ll work on it.”

Freshman me frowned as Jordan turned and started sauntering back to Cate and Andre. “Wh-what does that mean?”

Jordan glanced at her over his shoulder. “It means I’ll spar with you more often. You can’t be one of Brink’s new favorites and be this bad at fighting, freshie.”

Freshman me continued to gawk at him as he walked away. Andre finally let Cate run over to Freshman me and she insisted on looking her over. When Jordan finally got close enough to me, he had the smallest smile on his face. I stood just as he bent down to grab his water bottle.

“I still don’t get how you flipped like that. You mostly ignored me until then and I was a horrible sparring partner,” I commented.

Jordan chuckled. “I thought you’d get it by now.”

When he turned to face me, my stomach dropped. I didn’t understand why I still had this reaction to him after everything that happened. No matter what, every time he looked at me, I felt warm all over.

“You agreed to train with some of the highest ranking supes on campus and even though you were intimidated, you did your best and you didn’t give up,” Jordan stated. “Before we sparred, I thought Brink liked you so much because of your ability but it was more than that: you face challenges, even when you don’t want to, like a real supe.”  

“So do you,” I pointed out.

Jordan shook his head. “Yeah, but it’s different when you do it. I didn’t want to dig into any of this GOD U shit but you didn’t hesitate. It’s scary but also inspiring.”

It took all my strength to keep my mouth from falling open. I inspired Jordan? The same Jordan who did everything in their power to stay in the Top Three. The same Jordan who impressed one of the most influential crime experts so much that they became his TA.

None of this made any sense and I wondered how long Jordan thought of me like that.

Do they actually think about you like that?

I blinked and my heart sunk at the realization that Cate could have been messing with me; this was her domain after all.

 But what if Cate knew what Jordan was thinking or feeling at the time? It was possible, especially if she had her gloves off.

“Jordan---"

“And that’s when I said, ‘I hate to tell you buddy but, you’re looking at the wrong end’!” a loud voice cut me off.

When I turned to face the direction of the voice, I was suddenly standing in the corner of the dining room at Mom’s. The candlelight from the tables reflected off the wall, giving the space a false sense of warmth. The scent of roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, yams, and collard greens tickled my nose as I wandered further into the room.

At the long table, Mom and Dad sat on opposite ends, the large spread Ms. Murphy, the family cook, prepared obstructing their views of each other. My brother, Isaac, sat on one side, grinning from ear to ear as both our parents laughed. My fourteen-year-old self sat across from him, smiling as she pushed some greens around on her plate.

I remembered this, this was our first Thanksgiving after Isaac took the Buenos Aires job. The tension was so thick in the air that I could have choked on it and it nearly stopped my appetite.

Younger me slouched in her chair, clad in a red plaid cap-sleeve dress with her hair swept up in a loose curly bun. My face was so much rounder then. As I slowly traversed the table, Isaac pushed up the sleeves of his charcoal gray Brooks Brothers sweater.

Everyone liked Isaac, boys, girls, adults, everyone. If no one fell for his charm, his good sense of humor, or his fantastic social skills, they tended to be drawn to his tall, broad frame and smooth copper skin. When I was a kid, Isaac was everything.

“And that happened your first day?” Dad asked as he adjusted his glasses.

Isaac shook his head. “First week.”

“As expected from our brilliant son,” Mom bragged, sipping some Dom Perignon.

Isaac’s laugh sounded like a deeper-pitched version of Denzel Washington’s. Younger me smiled widely at the sound while I stared on, knowing full well that he probably got it from years of practice.

“I mean, I’m still learning a lot. Everyone I work with has been very welcoming,” Isaac insisted.

“Are you learning a lot about the culture? In school, we learned that it’s so vibrant there,” Younger me piped in.

Mom’s gaze cut towards me. “Y/N, don’t interrupt Isaac.”

Younger me shrank back and I flinched. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Dad rolled his eyes. “Y/N was only asking a question, Y/M/N. She hasn’t seen him in months, it’s only natural.”

Isaac raised his hands. “It’s okay, everyone.” He looked at Younger me. “It’s a really good question, Y/N. These past two years, I’ve really immersed myself in the culture and I’ve even started picking up more Spanish. Also, the Argentinians are a very welcoming people and I’m so fortunate to work and live with them.”

For the first time, I realized how practiced Isaac sounded. It was the same way Coco sounded whenever she practiced speeches but, she was also going into political science.

Who was Isaac trying to impress or sway?

I made my way to Younger Me and stood against the wall behind her. Her eyes were so wide and sparkling, hanging on to Isaac’s every word. I wondered if that was the same way I looked when I was rushing Si Chi.

Younger Me ate a mouthful of yams and nodded happily. “I’m glad you’re having such a good time. We miss you here, though.”

“But this is a great opportunity for your brother, Y/N. We couldn’t hold him back here,” Dad interjected.

“Right, yeah---” “Yes,” Mom corrected.

“Yes,” Younger Me repeated, turning to Isaac. “Can you pass me the turkey?”

My stomach dropped as the memory echoed in my ears. I wrapped my arms around my waist and leaned further into the wall, rubbing my sides.

“Sure, Sis.” Isaac grabbed the dish and started to hand it over when Dad placed a hand on Isaac’s wrist.

“Y/N, you’ve already had a…generous helping. Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” he asked gently.

I thought I was sinking into the ground as I watched Younger Me grasp for words and could feel how flustered she was in my chest.

“You can’t blame Y/N, Dad. Ms. Murphy’s an amazing cook,” Isaac tried.

Mom scoffed. “It’s all that cooking that made her fat.”

The room was silent for a moment. Suddenly, Dad looked both shocked and understanding as he stared at Mom, Mom was staring at a painting on another wall as she sipped her drink, and Isaac couldn’t take his eyes off the turkey dish in his hands.

I could feel the ball begin in Younger Me’s throat and the tears burned in her eyes as she tried to keep herself together.

“Y/M/N,” Dad admonished.

Mom cut her gaze towards him. “Don’t use that tone with me. Unlike you, I care for our daughter’s health. It’s especially important considering her abilities and we have no idea how obesity could impact them!”

Dad set the turkey dish down and Isaac started nibbling on some mac and cheese. “Don’t do that, I care about Y/N’s health. She has made a lot of progress thanks to my encouragement.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “Oh, you’re saying that like the dance lessons that I paid for had nothing to do with it?”

“Oh yes, Y/M/N, only your contributions supported our daughter. When will you stop acting like you’ve financially supported our children this entire time? Don’t forget who gave you the money to start your agency.”

If looks could kill, Dad would have been dead a long time ago. Mom threw her head back and drained the last of her glass. When she set the glass down, she maintained a neutral expression.

“You can stop throwing that in my face now, Y/D/N; I’m the one who grew it without your or anyone else’s help!”

They went back and forth for a few more minutes and I watched Younger Me’s mind race.

Finally, she interrupted, “Did I tell you that I got all As for the semester?”

The statement made Mom and Dad pause and they relaxed a little.

“That’s wonderful, Y/N,” Dad praised.

“That’s my little sister,” Isaac added with a grin. “Have you solved any cases recently?”

Younger Me grinned. “Well, there’s this one murder that happened out in Cincinnati; a woman was found in a dumpster horribly attacked. The police think it’s a one-off but, that makes no sense since it matches the MO of several other murdered women who were found in the state.”

“What’s the MO?” Isaac asked, sipping some pinot noir.

 That was when I noticed that there was something different about Isaac’s eyes. The light brown orbs looked slightly more playful than usual, almost mischievous.

“Oh, she was bludgeoned to death with a blunt object and raped post-mortem,” Younger Me rattled off.

“Y/N, we are eating,” Mom said slowly.

Younger Me hesitated. “Sorry, Mom, I was just answering Isaac’s question.”

“You’ll get better at reading situations, hon,” Dad assured.

Mom shook her head and started stabbing at some greens on her plate. “I don’t recall having this issue with Isaac.” She glanced warmly at him. “You were always so polite and well-mannered.”

“I was well-mannered,” I huffed.

Isaac smiled sheepishly. “It’s different for different people. Y/N will be fine.”

Younger Me nodded slightly but I knew she was trying to keep the tears from spilling down her cheeks.

“I hope so. You know, Vought is merciless about who they select to represent them. With every B-list hero in my agency, they are trained to hell in PR. There can be no mistakes, Y/N, not if you want a future as a supe.”

Younger Me nodded. “Yes, Mom.”

After a few moments where the only sounds were cutlery hitting the plates, Ms. Murphy stepped into the dining room. The portly older black woman rubbed her hands on the towel attached to her apron.

“Pardon me but, dessert is about ready. Should I have the table cleared?” Ms. Murphy asked.

Isaac stood. “It’s alright, Ms. Murphy, I’ll clear the table.”

“Isaac, there’s no need, we have people for that,” Mom insisted.

“It’s okay, I’m happy to help.”

Ms. Murphy nodded and shot a glance in Younger Me’s direction before slipping back into the kitchen. Isaac gracefully collected his plate and started going around the table, collecting ours.

“What a polite boy I have,” Dad complimented, playfully punching Isaac’s arm as he past.

“Despite all that success you’re so humble,” Mom added. “Remember this when you start to get big, Y/N.”

Younger Me nodded and once Isaac was at the kitchen door, she stood. “I’ll go help with dessert.”

Neither of them responded as she trailed behind Isaac, and I trailed behind her. The kitchen smelled like pecan pie and my mouth watered. Ms. Murphy was fantastic at her job, but no one could do desserts like her. She claimed that the secret was that she used full-fat everything.

“A growing girl like you needs that,” she quipped once.

In one corner of the room, Ms. Murphy was adding the finishing touches to the immaculate pecan pie perched on a silver server. Isaac set the dirty dishes on the counter and opened the dishwasher. I decided the island was the best position since it gave me a good view of the two of us and kept me at a decent distance.

“Let me help you,” Younger Me insisted.

Isaac paused and nodded. “Sure, sis.”

“I’m gonna go take this out to your folks,” Ms. Murphy said, pecan pie in hand. She leaned down to Younger Me. “You eat as much of this as you want.”

Younger Me smiled softly as the older woman disappeared into the kitchen.

“It’s really good to have you home, Isaac,” Younger Me commented as she handed Isaac plates.

“You keep saying that,” Isaac joked.

“It’s true. It’s like before when you’re around,” Younger Me said.

Isaac tensed a little but continued loading the dishes. “So, how have things been since I was gone?”

“Horrible,” I stated.

At that time, Mom and Dad cooled off from World War III which was their divorce but they still fought every time they saw each other. Even though Dad moved out a while ago, they would still see each other for my dance recitals, cheer events, or awards ceremonies. And whenever one of them dropped me off with the other, the tension made me sick but the worst part was how they bad-mouthed each other.

They both said things that no daughter should hear about her parents.

“Fine, things have been fine,” Younger Me lied.

I could have cried for her as she fidgeted with a plate. At the time, I didn’t want to burden Isaac since all the phone calls and text conversations we had were so positive. He was doing important work and I didn’t want to complain. But at the same time, he had to know things were bad.

“That’s good to hear,” Isaac replied. “I want to make sure my little sister’s okay.”

Then, Younger Me hesitated and handed him a plate. She bit her bottom lip and several moments past before she said, “Actually, sometimes, things get really, really bad. They both say some things that I hope they don’t mean and sometimes, I know what’s coming but it still freaks me out.” Younger Me shrugged. “Sometimes, I wish I could escape far away from here, like you did.” As innocent as the words were, little did I know at the time that it would be enough to set Isaac off. He straightened from loading the dishes and closed the dishwasher door stronger than he had to. When he turned to Younger Me, the pleasant expression he wore all night disappeared; his jaw tensed and his eyes narrowed.

“You think I escaped?” he asked slowly.

Younger Me blinked and the realization of her words poured over her. “Isaac, I didn’t mean----”

“You think I took that job so that I could run away? It was a fantastic opportunity, and I would have been an idiot not to take it!” he hissed.

Younger Me flinched and I gritted my teeth. “No, it’s great, Isaac, really. We’re all so proud of you and you’ve been doing so much great work. I just meant that it must be nice to get away.”

“I would never want to get away from my family. Adults fight sometimes, Y/N, grow up.”

Isaac’s words stung against my face and I clenched my fists as Younger Me fumbled for words. As Younger Me pled more and more with Isaac, my anger grew.

“I’m sorry, Isaac, really. It’s okay, everything’s okay, don’t worry about us,” Younger Me insisted.

I scoffed. “Nothing was okay, and you had to know that.”

Then, Isaac’s gaze left Younger Me’s and burned into mine. “Stop overexaggerating, Y/N. You never went crazy and you got into the special supe school; you’re doing just fine, it couldn’t have been that bad.”

It was hard to tell whether Isaac’s tone or his insistence on being right was the nail in the coffin but I didn’t care as I charged around the island and stood in front of Younger Me.

“Are you kidding me? I had a million anxiety attacks, and I could barely sleep. No one noticed, though, because I almost killed myself keeping up good grades and trying not to eat too much because Mom and Dad would comment,” I snapped.

Isaac hesitated. “Like I said, though, you’re doing fine now.”

“I’m not fine!” I exclaimed. “I never was but I couldn’t show that because someone had to be the adult in this house. I still don’t understand how you all thought that was okay when it wasn’t.” I scoffed. “Wait, I have an idea, maybe it’s because perfect little Doctor Isaac couldn’t be burdened with the fact that he abandoned his little sister in hell!”

“I didn’t abandon you, it was a good job!” Isaac argued.

The laugh that erupted from my chest was spiteful and it had no joy or air in it. Then, I couldn’t stop laughing, to the point that I doubled over. Isaac must have thought I had lost it but I didn’t care as I straightened up.

“What are you laughing about?” he asked, frowning.

“You could have gotten a surgeon job anywhere in the country and you’re telling me the best offer was ten thousand miles away? You graduated at the top of the class, you had to have other offers.” I huffed. “I had to be so deep in denial but I knew, I had to know. But what does it matter as long as you’re still the favorite.”

“I’m not the favorite; you’re the one they made a superhero,” he defended.

“Please, Isaac, they think I’m a freak at worst and a profitable freak show at best. They never criticized you, they only ever did that with me.” I sniffed and looked up at him. “By the way, why didn’t you ever tell them that I wasn’t fat?”

Isaac hesitated. “What?”

“You were in school for, what, ten years and you became an expert on the human body and health. You could have stopped them from tormenting me about food and my body, but you didn’t. Why did you never defend me?”

His silence almost sent me into another fit of mad laughter, that and the stunned expression on his face. The giddiness and rage that flowed through my veins was almost dizzying as I stared at Isaac. I didn’t blink for so long that his face began to blur. Then, my legs started moving and I wandered around the state-of-the-art kitchen.

“You were always better at this than me-----the performing. It must have been easy coasting as an only child and every gold star, and every A was praised.” I paused and poked at the pot of greens. “They were happy back then.”

“Y/N, you’re talking crazy,” Isaac insisted.

I shook my head. “No, I’m not. All the overthinking and overanalyzing finally helped me realize the truth: you all hate me. No matter what cases I solved, how well I did in school, or how much weight I lost; it was never good enough.” Isaac was silent and I think it was the first time he didn’t know what to say. It was okay because I knew exactly what to say.

“This whole time, I thought that I had to earn people’s love and that if I just worked hard enough, I could get Mom to call me pretty or Dad to post a picture of us without trying to spite Mom.” I finally made eye contact with Isaac. “You made me think that I was broken.”

Then, the kitchen door swung open behind me and Mom and Dad entered the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” Mom asked.

“We heard yelling,” Dad added.

I smiled as I turned to them. “You all made me think I was worthless unless I was perfect. I thought I was going to die so many nights because I made one mistake in an essay or lost a friend because my powers creeped them out. But none of you cared.”

None of them spoke and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear any of them. All they could do was lie since I finally realized their true feelings.

My family hated me.

None of them ever really loved me.

My vison blurred as I tried to make eye contact with them again. “How could you think I could end up perfect when you all screwed me up so bad? You make me question myself so much that I’m not even sure what I want anymore.”

I could feel the sobs coming on but I willed them to stay at bay for a moment.

“I’ve met a lot of amazing people at Godolkin, crazy, talented people. But two of them stand out. One of them is this standoffish bigender person who always has a comeback but is actually the kindest person I’ve ever met. The other one is this amazing girl who can see the brighter side of things no matter what, even when people betray her.” I sighed. “And I like both of them, I want to be with both of them, and I don’t know what any of it means and as much as that terrifies me, I’m so happy that I met them.”

They must have all been stunned but I couldn’t focus on them as my chest felt lighter but my throat constricted and I could feel my heart rate pick up. I slowly walked away from the oven and back to my original spot at the island. My hands crept onto the marble counter and I realized that my knees were wobbling.

“You know what’s funny, Isaac?”

Isaac jumped but eyed me.

“If you wanted to abandon me, you didn’t have to go to another continent. Mom and Dad managed to do it and I saw them every day.”

Then, the sobs broke from me and I pressed my hands to my mouth, trying to shove them back in but there was no point. My shoulders shook as I slipped to the ground, the pain barely registering to my brain as I hiccupped into my hands. The tears were hot as they ran down my face and everything hurt so bad and felt so good at the same time; it was like an emotional massage.

Everything that I thought and felt was finally out in the open and none of it was even real.

For a second, I thought a toddler was wailing at the top of their lungs but I almost started laughing again when I realized it was me.

This was it; I was going to be stuck in Cate’s head forever; alone and with nothing to show for it.

The first thing I noticed was something warm against my back. The second was a pair of strong arms wrapped around me. The grip was firm but non-threatening like the owner wanted me to know they were there. The third thing I noticed was Marie’s brown eyes staring back at me as she knelt in front of me.

I paused in my sobbing and sniffled. “Ar-are y-y-you r-r-real?”

“Yeah, I’m real,” she assured.

Her words made me freeze and I started trying to wipe my face, but Marie carefully grabbed my hands. Her thumbs rubbed the top of my hands, and I could feel my sobs slowing down.

“H-h-how’d y-y-you g-get h-here?”

“We found you and Cate and somehow got transported into her head,” Marie explained.

I sniffed, wincing at my congested nose.

“We got to go through a lot of memories, freshie,” Jordan mumbled behind me.

I tensed in their grip and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Andre standing off to the side. He glared at my family with so much malice that my parents cowered next to Isaac.

I gasped. “Th-this i-is s-so embarrassing. H-how m-much of t-that d-did y-you hear?”

“We heard everything you told your brother,” Andre stated.

Marie placed one of her hands on my face. “Breathe, Y/N, you’re hyperventilating.”

It took a couple of minutes, but I managed to even my breathing and once I did, I felt like shrinking away from her and Jordan.

“I can’t believe you were going through all this and never said anything,” Jordan muttered.

I shrugged. “How could I? You, Andre, Cate, Luke, Marie, and everyone in Si Chi are perfect. If I was going to be accepted, I had to be perfect but now you all know that I’m a mess.”

Marie grabbed my other hand again. “Everyone’s a mess; it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.”

“If we’ve learned anything by wandering around in Cate’s head, it’s that everyone’s a mess,” Jordan mentioned.

I shook my head. “Don’t say that to try to make me feel better.”

“I’m not.”

Jordan quickly rattled off everything they saw: from Cate and Indira meeting to Andre and Cate cheating to Jordan knowing about Brink drugging Luke to Marie killing her parents. Even though he was brief, everything hit an emotional nerve and it almost shook me back into being myself.

“So don’t act like you’re special or anything, we’re all screw-ups,” Jordan concluded.

“And just so you know, I don’t think that you liking me and Jordan makes you weird or bad,” Marie confessed.

At her words, I jerked my head back to Jordan. “You told her?”

“No, you said it while you were yelling at your brother!” Jordan exclaimed.

My face warmed at the realization, and I groaned as I buried my head into Jordan’s shoulder. This day could not have gotten any worse.

“Wait, you told Jordan before you told me?” Marie asked.

“I was going to tell you but then I got sucked in here,” I murmured.

Marie huffed. “Well, you’ll both have to make it up to me once we get out of here.”

Wait, both?

Marie couldn’t be serious; it would be impossible for her to agree to any of this. It didn’t make any sense, none of it did. That didn’t stop my heart from pounding faster though as I leaned away from Jordan’s shoulder to look at her.

Before I could say anything, Jordan and Marie both helped me to my feet.

“We’ll talk about this later, okay?” Jordan offered.

“Uh-huh.”

At that moment, Andre approached my family and they tried to scramble away from him.

“You should all know that Y/N is the best thing to come from you shitty people. If I see you outside of here, we might have some problems,” Andre threatened.

“Please, don’t hurt us,” Mom begged.

It was hard for me not to laugh as Andre slowly backed away, flipping them off as he went. I laughed a little as he came closer to us.

“Thanks, Andre,” I said.

“No problem. Does anyone know how we get out of here?” he asked.

“We have to find Cate; I saw her briefly earlier but I haven’t been able to find her since,” I admitted.

“If you found her once, you can find her again,” Jordan said.

“Not unless I find you.”

In an instant, my mom’s dining room turned into Cate’s dorm, complete with green accents and comfortable furniture. She sat on her bed, eyes bloodshot and downturned. Marie was the first to approach her and Jordan and I trailed behind her.

“Cate, I’m so glad we found you,” Marie said.

“You have to wake up,” Jordan added.

Cate shook her head. “I don’t want to. You all can wake up but I’m going to stay here.”

Marie frowned. “You’re going to die? But, there’s so much we can do once we’re out of here.”

“Yeah, we can expose what’s going on at the school but we need your help,” Jordan insisted.

No matter what anyone said, Cate remained unresponsive. Both Jordan and Marie tried to reason with her while Andre snapped at her for everything that happened. All I could do was watch and wonder if her behavior made sense. In a way, her entire world fell apart and she’d exposed everything in all of us. She must feel alone but what did she think would happen?

How could she incense me and make me feel sorry for her at the same time?

Finally, I stepped over to her and bent down so that we were eye to eye. “Despite all the psychological torment I experienced in here, all I can think about is what else you haven’t told us.” I swallowed. “Because I have a really bad feeling that if Shetty used you like this, she would use me too.”

“No, Y/N, Indira wouldn’t do that.”

“She’s been in your head since you were a kid, Cate, it would make sense that she would go after Y/N too and you wouldn’t notice it,” Jordan pointed out.

Cate hesitated and then looked at her gloved hands. “This is all my fault.”

“You can make it right but not if you stay in here,” Marie said.

I didn’t know how much time had passed as Cate mulled over her options. All I knew was as she was deciding, my heart continued pounding in my ears as the lightning cracked above our heads. My hands shook as the cracking got louder and louder.

Then, it stopped.

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

Remember me as small (I fear I've swallowed the sun whole)

comfort came against my will - series masterlist here

pairing: mentioned dick grayson x reader, platonic bruce wayne x reader

length: 900

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: bruce is a sort of father figure to reader, reader kind of has a meltdown, dick is idk downstairs partying while this happens

a/n: soft launching Good Dad Bruce Wayne here before I let y'all have the bruce wayne verse, I think it's nice to read it isn't always easy before this but it's unnecessary

You're standing in Bruce's study when he finds you, drink in one hand while the other stays wrapped around your own waist - like a child clinging to their parent, except the only person you had to cling to was yourself. You don't move when he approaches, quietly closing the door behind him and coming to stand next to you, eyeing where the joint contract of your company's new deal with Wayne Industries sits framed on his wall amongst his various other professional achievements. 

"Have I made enough of myself?" you ask quietly, and the tone of your voice sends warnings through Bruce's head. He's heard you like that before - small and scared and tired. Unsure. And you never let yourself be seen as unsure. But he'd seen it a few times, many years ago when he'd first met you, a lost child with your hackles raised too high to let him help you. He didn't like hearing that voice coming from you, especially not now when you were here in his home - somewhere where you should be safe and happy.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?" he prompts gently, tenderly pulling your drink out of your hands and setting it on a nearby table. You look at him with wide, watery eyes and his heart clenches.

"Have I done enough?" you whisper, as if speaking any louder would tear holes in the blanket you've pulled over your emotions. "I'm not small anymore, right? Not like I was. I… I'm bigger now. I'm good now. I grew into something good, right? I made… I made something of myself… didn't I?"

"If you made any more of yourself, sweetheart, you'd outgrow the sun," he whispers back as he takes one of your hands in both of his, flipping it so that your palm is facing up and he can smooth over the tension under your skin with gentle thumbs and soft pressure. 

"Do you remember when I was small?" you ask tentatively, keeping your eyes trained on your joined hands while he keeps his own trained on you.

"Yes," he says easily, squeezing your hand in acknowledgement. I'm here, it meant. I'm here and I remember you. "Although you were hardly small, even then. Your heart was so big, you just needed time to grow into it."

"Did I grow up well?" your voice wavers and Bruce pulls you closer to him by your joined hands before placing your palm on his chest over his heart. I'm here. I'm here and I'm real and I remember you. He hopes you can feel that through the beating of his heart.

"You grew up perfectly," he says, conviction clear in his voice. "And I couldn't be more proud." You make a small, wounded sort of sound at that and your breath hitches in a way he knows means you're about to cry. He begins to move to pull you into him but pauses when you brace yourself on your own two feet, determinedly steadying yourself on your own against the tidal wave of your emotions.

"Bruce?" you ask. He hums in response.

"I want to go back to being small." That throws him. Of all the confessions that could have passed your lips, that wasn't one he was expecting. The tears that begin to stream down your face, at least, he's prepared for. "I want to be small again, I - I want to go back to when I was small and you offered to love me and take me in and - and I want to say yes this time." You're really crying now, hot tears streaking your cheeks and your chest heaving. "I should've let you when you offered and it's too late and I just - I want to go back to when I could've been loved because I can do it right this time I can say yes I -"

Bruce stops you then, finally, shushing you gently (but firmly, in that authoritative, fatherly way that he does) and pulls you closer to him so that you can bury your face in his chest and sob into the fabric of his dress shirt. He holds you like that for a good long while, doing his best to soothe you despite the worry that knots in his stomach. This isn't like you, he thinks. He doesn't like seeing you collapse like this. A part of him, though, although guilty, is almost relieved - pleased that you've turned to him instead of managing it on your own. As much as he hates to see you cry, he would always rather be there than turn away from you.

"Listen to me very closely, sweetheart," he says gently, once your sobs have quieted and calmed down to little sniffs and hiccups. You pull away to look at him. "It's not too late," he promises. "You're always home here - always. And I'll always be here. And… and I do love you. I've never been the best at showing it. I'm sure - I'm sure Dick's told you enough about that." You huffed out a laugh.

"Yea, uh, he's mentioned it."

"Yea," Bruce says, shifting his weight. "But, I do love you, and you're just as much my child as the others. I'm sorry I… I'm sorry I didn't realize you needed to hear that sooner. I'm sorry I didn't help more. I thought that maybe letting you keep yourself upright was the best thing to do. I didn't want to push, I - I was so afraid of pushing you away. But I never, ever, wanted you to feel unloved. You're home here, I promise."

[myfictionaldreams]

How far is too far? // Poly!Marauders x Fem!Reader

Summary: James had discovered a new spell that is supposed to give you the most blissful pleasure imaginable. However, not everything goes to plan.

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, dom/sub, angst, fluff, edging, anal & vaginal sex, rough & loving sex, spell goes v wrong, all consensual, forced orgasm, intense orgasm, not being able to breathe, pain, anxiety, crying, panic attacks, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, subspace, aftercare (LOTS), cuddling, kissing, caring, not beta read

Words: 5.3k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

The Marauders were having a fucking great day. It was Saturday; therefore, no classes to attend; the sun was beaming over Hogwarts, which always had everyone in good spirits, but most importantly, the prank on the Slytherins had gone to absolute perfection.

During breakfast, the tables were full of students laughing, eating and planning what to do with their lovely day. When suddenly, bloodcurdling screams came from the table closest to the wall on the left as Slytherins launched up from the benches, moving as far away from the food that seemed to be slithering and moving on the tabletop.

“What’s going on here?” Professor McGonagall’s shrill voice demanded as she descended from the teacher’s table from the top of the Great Hall.

“Snakes! The food’s turned into Snakes!” multiple students shouted in response, still backing as far away from the table as possible. The rest of the students were beginning to stand to see what all the fuss was about. Over the Slytherin table, where the food had been, was now replaced with hundreds of snakes varying in different sizes and patterned scales so that they mimicked what the food had looked like.

Professor McGonagall waved her wand high above her head, and the reptiles all transformed back into food. Even though the panic was over, the teacher’s blood seemed to boil as she turned to face the other students, lips pursed as she demanded, “Who’s bright idea was it to transfigure the food?”

The entire hall turned and faced the three Marauders who had been standing to see what all of the commotions was about. Each of them was grinning, but with the attention turned on them, the smiles slowly faded from their handsome face,s with Sirius being the first to speak as he placed a hand over his heart. “Woah, I am not liking these accusatorial looks right now”.

James then continued on behalf of the three of them, “Professor, you know better than anyone that if we were to do such a breathtakingly beautiful prank, we would own up to it”. Professor McGonagall looked as if she was trying her hardest not to roll her eyes as the Gryffindor Seeker continued, “I can categorically say that we”, he pointed to himself, Sirius and Remus, “did not transfigure the food into snakes”.

The Gryffindor head of house squinted her eyes in a disbelieving stare towards James before looking at Remus, who was smiling lightly. “I promise, Professor, this wasn’t us”, Remus confidently admitted, knowing that the teacher would believe it more if it came from him.

However, it was Lily who spoke next that seemed to be the confirmation McGonagall needed. “They are telling the truth, Professor; they’ve been in the common room all morning, and then we all came down to breakfast together; they wouldn’t have had time to come down here to do the spell if it was them”.

Professor McGonagall nodded her head once and looked around at the other students, “If I find out who it is who decided to defile the Slytherin’s food, you will have detention with me for the rest of the year. Do I make myself clear? Now, return to eating everyone”.

The students all began to return to their seats. Laughter and excitement increased from a couple of minutes ago, all trying to figure out who had done the prank if it wasn’t the Marauders.

“Did you three really not have anything to do with it?” Marlene asked as she leaned across the table, keeping her voice low so others wouldn’t be able to overhear easily.

Sirius grinned from where he sat in the middle of James and Remus, leaning his forearms on either side of his breakfast plate. “Now… we didn’t say we didn’t have anything to do with it, we just didn’t do the spell”.

“Well, if neither of you did it, then who did?” she asked as more of the friendship group leaned in to listen to the answer.

Sirius, James and Remus’s smiles seemed to grow as each of their attentions turned to you, where you sat opposite them at the table, with Lily to your left and Marlene to your right. Your cheeks warmed as you ducked your head, biting into the toast as all your friends turned to look at you.

“I was wondering where you were this morning”, Lily admitted out loud as she nudged her shoulder into yours, “the boys really have tainted you into their little minion, haven’t they” she joked.

“Hey! We have done no such tainting, I’ll have you know”, James frowned at the accusation before his gaze softened, his body leaning over the table to say under his breath, “But I must praise you on the perfect spellwork, Love”.

Smiling whilst you continued to eat your breakfast, you were happy that the early morning wake-up and sneaking into the kitchen had been worth it. The boys tended to leave you out of the pranks, not wanting you to have any detentions, but as soon as you’d overheard their plans, you had to get in on the action and suggested that you could be the one to do the spell.

It had been thrilling to sneak through the castle under James’ invisibility cloak and even more exciting to see how proud your boyfriends were. Remus leaned closer now, catching your attention as his brown eyes flicked between yours, “I want to add to what Prongs has said; I expected maybe a couple of sausages turning into snakes, not all of the food. You’re so talented, my love. I can’t wait to see your results at the end of the year for transfiguration, and I know you’re going to be top of the class”.

The prank and praises set the tone for the day, the good mood and fun continuing as you all travelled around Hogsmeade, visiting Honeydukes and the Hogs Head for a couple of butterbeers before exploring the edges of the Forbidden Forest. You loved carefree days like this, especially when the boys were being so attentive as thanks for your help with the prank.

However, you had noticed that they’d been whispering to themselves a lot when they thought you weren’t looking. Whatever they were talking about looking like a new prank plan from the sly smirks they were displaying, but this didn’t make you any less intrigued.

By the end of the day, you were feeling somewhat needy, enjoying a long cuddle with James in front of the fire in the common room. It was only you and the boys remaining awake as everyone had turned in for the night, but you were much too comfortable to leave. However, from the low moaning and smacking of lips as Sirius and Remus made out in the armchair, the longhaired Black heir was straddling the taller marauder, grinding in his lap and shirt hiked up from where Remus was exploring with his hands; you knew the four of you were going to be moving upstairs soon.

You were currently in a similar position to Sirius and Remus as you were straddling James’ la;p however, your face was nuzzled into his neck, body relaxed and near to falling asleep as he idly drew circled across your back as he watched the other two make out.

However, from the sounds of it, the kissing had stopped as you could vaguely hear the two whisperings lowly to one another, much like they had been all day. Then the armchair squeaked as one of them stood; you assumed to go to bed, but then the sofa dipped next to you and Jame,s and a warm, large hand travelled up your bare calf. 

“Are you still awake Darling?” Sirius asked quietly, careful not to be too loud in case you had fallen asleep, but you were still awake, quietly enjoying listening to the show, your panties already soaking through, but you were too tired to act on it.

Pulling your head away from James’ neck, you gave Sirius a tired but genuine smile, now noticing the swollen lips on his handsome face and the rouge shade that danced across the apples of his cheeks. “I’m awake”, you muttered in a whisper, voice evident of how tired you were.

“Good”, Sirius smiled endearingly as his hand moved to stroke your cheek before leaning across to kiss it quickly. “I’m still so proud of you for the prank from earlier, and I’d love to show you just how much. What do you think? Are you up for that?”

You wanted to say yes, but Sirius seemed to be buzzing with energy, and usually, when he was in a sexually praising mood, you’d be placed into every position and licked and fucked until you were nearing subspace; but tonight, you didn’t think you had the energy to match that of Sirius’, even though you were horny, you needed something slightly different.

Unsure of the words to say, you dropped your gaze and chewed on your bottom lip, trying to think of a way to let him down without offending him. Sirius could see you struggling to think of a way to say no, and a flick of guilt settled in his stomach, knowing you probably didn’t want anything too exertive tonight. Hooking a finger under your chin, he tilted your face so you were once again looking into his light blue eyes. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to, my love. It’s ok, you can say you aren’t up to it. I was mostly asking because we might have a little present that we want to try with you.”

This piqued your interest as you pushed off James’ chest so that you were sitting up, being able to look between the three of your boyfriends with a quizzical look. “What present?” you asked before quickly adding, “I am up for something tonight; I just don’t think I have the energy for what you need”.

Sirius lifted one of your hands, kissing the palm with his full lips, the sensation tickling the skin as he pondered, “I’m sure Remus can more than handle what I need tonight, Sweetheart, don’t worry”.

James shifted beneath your legs, his hands lifting to cup your jaw, tilting your face in his direction. “That works out perfectly because I want you all to myself tonight”, he admitted whilst leaning forward to place soft, gentle kisses across your face that filled your heart with love.

Leaning into the affectionate touch, you were almost distracted enough to forget about the present until your hand was placed onto Jame’s shoulder as Sirius stood to rejoin Remus. Pulling back slightly from James, you glanced over your shoulder to the other two, “You didn’t tell me what the present was, Sirius”.

The man smiled so wide you could see his eyes gleaming in the orange hue of the fireplace as he held his hands out for Remus to take and pulled the Marauder out of the armchair. It wasn’t Sirius who answered your question, though. It was James as he turned your face back towards his and explained the present. “I’ve been searching for a while for a special spell that’s supposed to be the ultimate pleasure, and I think I’ve found it. We’ve tested it all on each other, and it works, but we’ve been waiting for the perfect day to try it on you, and what better day than today?”

Adrenaline began to pump through your body hearing this, having many questions for him, but it was then that it dawned on you, “Is that what you’ve all been whispering about today?”

“Yeah, Padfoot has been dying to test it on you all day, but I’ve been reminding him that being surrounded by our friends is probably not the best time”, Remus explained, slinging his arm over Sirius’ shoulders and pulling him flush against his body as the man smiled cheekily, not denying what Remus had said.

Your cheeks warmed hearing this before continuing with your questioning, “So when you say ultimate pleasure, what does that mean?” 

James answered for the trio, “Well, when we tested it on each other, and it’s safe to safe, probably the hardest I’ve ever cum before, and it was an instant orgasm as soon as you say the spell, and it felt like my body was humming, and even my toes felt good. However, we aren’t sure about the limit as when we tested it, Padfoot and I came once and then couldn’t get another stiffy to cum again, but Moony managed to cum twice, but he said the second orgasm was so intense his cock throbbed for a day so we’ll have to be careful, I know girls can cum more often than guys, but I don’t want to go too far with you”.

You swallowed harshly as he talked, making a mental note to ask to see this spell performed on each of them if they came that hard from it. You were already horny before, but now it felt like your clothes were too tight for your body as your cunt tightened around nothing in arousal, wanting to test this spell out. “I want you to use that spell, it sounds…exciting”, your voice trailed off as you smiled towards James, who equally expressed his happiness back.

“Perfect! Now can we all please go upstairs and fuck?” Sirius asked, pulling out of Remus’ embrace to help you stand and then James, who jokingly shoved Sirius out of the way to reach the stairs first in a silent race to the dormitory. You were about to follow in their direction, but Remus’ fingers slipped around your wrist, pulling you closer to kiss your lips.

As he pulled away, he muttered under his brief, his voice low and determined, “Prongs can have you all to himself tonight. But, I want to do aftercare with you and make sure that we get some time together as well, even if it’s just falling asleep with you in my arms”.

You almost forgot how to breathe for a moment at his tender words, and eagerly, you nodded your head, leaning up on your toes to kiss him for a couple of long seconds before he linked your hands together and began walking up to the bedroom.

It did not take long at all for the atmosphere in the dorm that you shared with the three boys to be thick with lust, moans and groans. On the magically widened bed that was the centrepiece of the room held four bodies that were rocking together at different tempos and levels of urgency.

At the bottom of the bed, Sirius was bent over, fistings clenching the sheets so hard his knuckles were white; his hair was messy by the large scarred hand that was pulling on it as Remus fucked him from behind at a brutal pace. Whilst at the top of the bed, you had your head laying safely against the thick pillows, arms and legs wrapped around James’ lean body as he slowly rocked in and out of your pussy.

James’ head was buried into your neck, where he softly nipped against your pulse, his deep moans matching yours as your nails dug into his back, leaving raised scratches. This was just what you wanted, to be able to hold onto someone, moulding both of your bodies together, lips hovering over each other and sharing pleasured whispers into each other's mouths and from the sounds coming from Sirius and Remus, their rough fucking was exactly what they needed to relieve their tensions.

You’d been close to cumming twice now, each time James slowed his pace until the sensation passed, he wanted to save his present for your orgasm, but the edging was adding to your heightened emotions.

“Please, James, I want you to make me cum”, you pleaded as your fingers stroked through his messy black hair. James slowed his thrusting pace down again, but his cock still held deep inside of you as he reached across the bed for his wand whilst he dipped his face to kiss your cheek, the edge of his glasses pressing against your nose.

Sirius and Remus, in their race to cum had both already found their release and cleaned up after themselves and were happily watching you be edged from the sides of the bed. This only made your desperation to orgasm much more intensified, knowing they were all watching you.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this, Honey?” he questioned as he sat back on his knees, air sweeping over the front of your body as he moved to a position so that he could see all of you properly, his cock still inside of you.

You nodded your head whilst looking up at him with wide eyes, and your body was hot with anticipation of the impending spell. James gave you one final heated kiss before pointing his wand to your core and muttering, “Voluptas”.

The second the last syllable left his lips, it was an instantaneous blast of pleasure throughout your body, and he wasn’t lying when he said he could feel it from the tip of your head to the bottom of your toes. It was an orgasm unlike any other; every fibre of your body was burning with pleasure and passion, endless streams of desperate moans and whimpers coming out of you that it took you a couple of seconds to try and catch your breath. Your back arched to match the pleasure that devoured your breasts, and each nipple had the sensation of being sucked and stroked at the same time as your toes curling as your legs clamped around his waist.

Then there was in between your legs, your clit was highly sensitive, every nerve feeling like it was being stroked with just the right amount of pressure and your cunt was pulsing with such intensity that James had dropped his wand to hold himself up as he too came from being milked by your hole. But, because of the high intensity, you’d not only squirted on his abdomen, but your body produced a high amount of juices that came flooding out of your cunt and soaked the sheets below, mixing with his seed.

Your orgasm lasted nearly a full minute, and by the end of it, you had all but melted into the bed, sweat and juices dripping over your body as a wide satisfied smile spread across your face. Your pupils were blown wide, and your eyes glazed over as you saw James leaning over you with a smile to match yours. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked, stroking your cheek as you tried to process what had just happened.

“Uh- I, um, tha-that was amazing”, you finally managed to say, even though your tongue felt three sizes too big for your mouth.

“I thought you’d like it”, he admitted, kissing your lips and stroking his hand in between your breasts, feeling your pounding heart beneath his palm.

“Could you do it again, please?”

James smirked but hesitated, really looking you over to see if you could even handle that again. “Remember what I said, Sweetheart? We don’t know your limits to the spell yet, so we need to be careful. I want to always give you as much pleasure as possible, but I also don’t want to hurt you”.

You tried to soften your gaze to look more presentable and not brain fucked from the spell as you continued to convince him to give you another euphoric orgasm. “I feel fine, James, I promise”.

Even with your promise, James looked towards his boyfriends to have their silent input as they both nodded their heads, seeing that you weren’t giving any noticeable signs of being in the wrong headspace or pain.

With one final kiss to your temple, James picked up his wand and repeated the spell.

The second time was just as intense and lasted 10 seconds longer than the first, so you were a mumbling mess by the end of it, with cramps starting to form in your legs from being tense through the orgasm for so long. However, it was still the best feeling you’d ever experienced; even if your pussy was feeling sensitive to even the light breeze that drifted around the room, you just wanted to feel it over and over again until you passed out.

“Again, please, James, again”, you pleaded, secretly attempting to reach for him, but your arms felt like jelly from where they lay next to your body.

“Now, don’t be getting greedy, Darling”, Sirius reprimanded from where he sat watching beside you.

“‘M not greedy. I Just want to feel good. I thought you wanted to show me just how much this morning meant to you?”. You were being manipulative, but, to be honest, you would have said anything at that moment to feel like that, your brain becoming fuzzy and muddled by the intensity of the orgasms. “What could go wrong? It’s just pleasure?”

Sirius smirked at your little show of defiance, and he looked up towards Remus with a raised eyebrow, wanting to know whether he agreed you could have another one. Remus contemplated for a moment as he stared down at you before nodding his head.

James pointed his wand towards you for the third time, muttering the spell in the same tone, however; everything was different this time. There were no pleasured sounds coming from your mouth, and your body did not arch in reaction. Instead, you were screaming, curling into a ball on your side with your arms wrapped around your middle.

Sirius and Remus rushed to your side, both grabbing onto you to see where it hurt. Sirius looked up at James, who was watching with frightened wide eyes, “James, stop the spell!”

James dropped his wand onto the bed, “I can’t- I don’t know how. There wasn’t anything in the book about stopping the spell!”

Sirius cursed and grabbed his wand from his pile of clothes on the floor, returning to your side and seeing the frightening look on your face as you continued to scream and not actually take any breaths. Remus noticed, too, as he grabbed your face in a harsh grip, trying to snap you out of the intense feelings as he demanded, “Love, I need you to breath, take a breath in for me, come on- breath!”

James was beyond panicking, hating that he couldn’t help and knowing he had caused this pain as he desperately grabbed his hair in shock, tears welling in his eyes and cascading down his cheeks.

Thankfully for everyone, Sirius had remembered hearing about a spell that relaxed your entire body, the opposite of the spell Petrificus Totalus in which the victim’s body would freeze in momentary paralysis; this relaxed all tension or tautness in the muscles.

Waving his wand and shouting the spell over your curled-up body, it worked with immediate effect as you collapsed into Remus’ eyes, but in your confusion and panic, you were still hyperventilating.

“Get me my wand!” Remus demanded from Sirius, who hastily stood from the bed to retrieve the item and then chucked it at the scarred Marauder before having to move his attention to James, who was also having a panic attack. Sirius grabbed James by the upper arm, pulling his naked body off of the bed and pressed him against the closest wall, his body crowding around his, and began whispering into his ear in an attempt to calm him down, “She's going to be fine James, but I need you to calm down too and breath for me or do I need to do what Remus is doing right now?”

Sirius was referring to the fact that Remus was pointing his wand at your mouth, casting a spell that forced air into your lungs, which you greedily breathed in with a gasp. “That’s it, breath it in; now it's your turn, breath in for me, Sweetheart”.

With air finally being welcomed into your body, it seemed to snap something inside of your brain as you continued to take big exaggerated breaths until the dizzy sensation passed. All the whilst, Remus continued to instruct you to breathe until your heart had settled to a normal rate and you weren’t breathing like you were out of breath.

Remus stroking your cheek, wiping away the beads of sweat, was what forced you to open your eyes and look around in confusion. You were being held against Remus’ chest, sweat and pussy juice coating the two of you as the spell had caused your body to produce more than you’d ever experienced before. Every single muscle in your body ached from being locked tensely in the same position for so long, and your throat was raw from the screaming, which meant that your next words came out in a croak, “Again! I’ve never felt anything like that before!”.

Even though the boys had watched you displayed agonised screams and curled up into a ball, it was because the spell had caused your cunt to tense and not relax like it usually did through an orgasm. Rather than your walls pulsing and throbbing, it had constricted and stayed like that, giving you that ultimate pleasure to the point of pain. However, due to the intensity, the hormones in your brain were all confused and had subsequently fallen into a deep subspace, perceiving the spell as something good and that you would want it again.

Remus knew you well enough to know what sort of headspace you were in right now and ignored your pleads, just instead held you close, beginning the aftercare but not the type he had hoped for, hating when you were so lost in your submissive thoughts that your wellbeing wasn’t your priority.

“Shhh, relax for me, Love. Let’s just stay like this for a little bit first”, Remus encouraged, rocking his body slightly to help lull you further.

“See James? She’s fine,” Sirius encouraged lowly to his boyfriend, who had finally stopped crying enough to see that you were breathing and being cared for by Remus. “Look at me; it was an accident, alright?”.

You could overhear James' name, and you frowned, wondering where he was, especially as he’d been the one in charge of your pleasure, so for him not to be by your side felt wrong. “I want James”, you mewled, wishing that your body would do what you wanted, but you were so exhausted you couldn’t even lift a finger right now.

“You hear that, Prongs? She needs you, so come on, let’s go over to her”, Sirius encouraged James with a quick reassuring kiss to the temple before tugging him over with their hands clinging together.

James hastily rubbed away the tear streaks down his cheeks, repositioning the glasses on his face and climbed back onto the bed and sat beside you, feeling the tension in his gut at ease as he could see your relaxed smile. Your eyes were still closed, so he held onto your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze to let you know he was there.

“I love you”, you whispered, and he knew it was meant for him. His shoulders dropped even further in relief.

“I love you too, Honey”, James said in a hushed tone before looking up at Remus.

“Are you ok?” Remus asked with concern in his eyes.

James didn’t answer verbally, just simply nodded, and both Sirius and Remus knew he was lying. Sirius, who was sitting beside James, placed a reassuring arm around his shoulders, pulling on him slightly, “Come on, Prongs, let’s get you cleaned up and leave them for a little bit longer to get her bearings”.

The two moved into the bathroom, where the shower was turned on to a high temperature, and Sirius spent time washing James’ body and hair, making sure he was thoroughly clean but also found comfort in the touches. It wasn’t often that James needed the type of care that you received as all three of them were fairly dominant, but on occasions, each of them needed a bit of an extra helping hand to come down from an intense scene.

Remus continued to hold you tightly and even wondered if you’d fallen asleep at one point due to your breathing levelling out, but soon you began to wriggle and stretch each of your limbs out and groan deeply at the ache that still settled in them. Finally, your eyes opened. They were both still glazed over, and you were still feeling submissive and needy, but at least you weren’t begging to be hit with the spell again as you looked up into Remu’s kind eyes for comfort.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Um, sore and tired”, you answered honestly, voice still croaking from your overused throat. Remus noticed and summed a glass of water, helping to tilt it into your mouth and only being satisfied once you’d finished it all.

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Yes, I remember everything”, you admitted. A pang of guilt in your stomach lay heavy as you thought of James. Biting your lip, you tried to will the tears that filled the corners of your eyes, “I shouldn’t have asked James to do that to me; is he ok?”

Remus caressed your cheek, trying to reassure you, “he just needs a bit of tender love and care. He’ll be fine, Love. There’s plenty of time for that tomorrow as well, but I need to just make sure you’re all right. Where are you sore?”

“My throat is feeling a little better now, it’s mostly in between my legs and calves that ache, and it feels like I’ve got period cramps, but that’s probably because of the spell”.

Remus nodded as you spoke, visually inspecting the areas and deciding where he needed to rub balm into and other areas where he needed a warming pack which usually ended up being his hand as he ran at such a higher temperature compared to normal bodies due to his lycanthropy. 

Whilst still holding onto you, he easily reached across the bed and into the nightstand, then held a slab of chocolate out for you to eat, leaving a second and third piece out for Sirius and James when they returned from the shower. Happily, you ate the treat, humming with each bite as your insides warmed with energy before sitting up further in his lap so that your cheek lay against his heart. There, you listened to the steady beat, needing to be close to him for a couple more minutes.

After this, Remus carried you into the bathroom, where the shower was now empty as both men were drying off, but the water was still running for you both to stand under. “Do you want any help?” Sirius asked, stroking your arm as the two of you passed by him.

“No, I should be ok; you both get into bed. Don’t wait up, but it might need some cleaning first”, he mentioned, referring to the damp, stained bed sheets.

Remus took his time before lowering your feet to the floor, making sure you were feeling steady enough to begin washing your body as you tried to do the same to his, wanting to still feel close to him. However, the cramps in your abdomen became increasingly more uncomfortable, so the shower didn’t last too long so that you could quickly be dried, rub some healing balm into your calves and dress into some comfortable pyjamas and return to bed.

There, you found Sirius spooning James, both waiting eagerly for you and Remus to join them in bed. You climbed in first, facing James, who leaned close to kiss your lips tenderly and held your hands in between your bodies. Remus then made himself comfortable, his chest brushing against your back and legs entwining with yours, and one of his hands moving under your shirt to press against the cramping area. You moaned at the touch, closing your eyes, and before you could mutter a ‘goodnight’, you had already fallen asleep.

[angstywaifu]

Black Dahlia - 14. Little Girl Gone.

Dahlia has survived and bonded a dragon, but now she must face her father who awaits her back in the flight field. With a dragon very much known to the both of them.

Set Pre Fourth Wing/Books

Garrick Tavis x OC (Dahlia Aetos)

Black Dahlia Masterlist | Masterlist

”It will do for now.” I joke back, his breath wafting over me as he chuckles behind me.

I can’t help but feel a sense of Deja vu as I turn to face him. The clearing so similar to the one all those years ago as I take him in. Only this time he’s far closer than he was that day. Ironically it almost feels like a dream seeing him here in front of me. Like I would wake up any moment back in my bed.

But he was real. And he was mine. As if sensing my thoughts he inhales loudly, his chest puffing out proudly with the movement. His sapphire blue scales catching the setting sun as the silence settles around us.

”We should start heading back. You’ve ventured a fair way in.” His voice startling out of my trance.

I raise an eyebrow at him before taking a few steps back to prepare to mount him. “No thanks to you.” I retort.

He lowers his head, eyes narrowing at me at my words. I know he won’t harm me, but I can’t help the panic that briefly sets in as he eyes me.

”You survived didn’t you?” He snaps at me before extending his leg out for me to mount.

”For the most part.”

I now knew what the gauntlet had prepared us for. The last part almost perfectly replicating the run I needed to do to mount him. Though clearly it was made for dragons a fair bit smaller than my own. I take off, doing what I can to gain as much speed as I can before grasping onto his scales and climbing up his back.

”I can see. You might want to clear up that blood before we head back.”

Shit, I’d nearly forgotten about my nose. I slowly reach up and touch it. It hurts, but it’s luckily not broken. I grasp the sleeve of my shirt, tearing it off to wipe away the blood. I definitely didn’t get all of it, but hopefully it looked better than it did. I lower myself down onto the smooth divot of his back, reaching out to grab the thick ridge of scales Kaori had referred to as the pommel.

Clearly happy I’m seated properly, he bends slightly before launching us up into the sky. I try to hold back the yelp that escapes my lips, but it escapes before I can stop it. Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. But at the same time it feels so natural to me. As if I was made to sit on this dragons back. As if this was what I was always made to do. The sound of his beating wings and the rush of air is all I can hear as we rise above the trees.

As I look around I spy a few other dragons with riders heading towards the flight field. But with how few there are and the setting sun, I know we’re one of the last ones to head back. Meaning anyone still down there is most likely unbonded or dead. With the dragons too far away, I’m unable to tell with riders are on their backs. I hope Bodhi, Austin and Liz made it. No, they did. They would all be down in that flight field waiting for me.

”Why did you protect me the other day?” I ask as we bank towards the flight field.

It had been a question on my mind since Presentation Day. And honestly a question on everyone’s minds. No dragon had ever protected a cadet on Presentation Day. Especially not like that. But it was extremely rare a cadet would have met or known their dragon prior to that day. Only a handful like myself, a child of a Dragon Rider, had seen a dragon up close before coming here.

”I thought it would have been obvious to you by now.” I had a feeling if I could see his face, his words would have been accompanied by an eye roll. Can dragons even roll their eyes?

”Well it’s been a few years. Wasn’t sure if you actually remembered me.” I retort before he throws us into another bank, causing my to fumble for my grip on the pommel. Bastard.

”Little flower, I watched you grow up for most of your life. You might be older but you still look the same.”

”That doesn’t answer why you defended me. And stop calling me little flower.” I snap back as we level out, starting out decent to the flight field.

”I defended you because I knew you we’re my rider. I have been waiting for you since the day my last rider passed. I would have done anything to make sure no harm came to you little flower.”

Clearly we were not giving up on the little flower nickname.

Without warning his wings starting beating faster and faster before launching us upwards at an alarming rate. It’s now I remember Kaori had warned us all the dragons would put us through our paces, making sure we could keep our seat and to put on a show for those below. I sneak a glance to my left, below us hundreds of dragons and riders line the field. Most likely all with their eyes on the last of us to make it back.

His wings stop beating as we hand in mid air, a weird feeling of weightlessness falling over me. I feel the slight change in gravity as we go to drop, but instead of falling with it he spreads his wings beating them loudly as we flip backwards into our decent, another yelp escaping my lips as we start falling towards the ground in a spinning motion. I was now secretly glad I’d barely eaten breakfast as I would no doubt be struggling to keep it down right now.

Just when I think we’re going to crash into the ground he spreads his wings wide, pulling us upright as we descend into the ground. A ferocious roar of celebration echoes around us as we descend. Hundreds of dragons line the edge of the field, as well as spectators who have filled the stands to watch the bonded riders. As we touch down onto the ground, I notice the formation of dragons. On our side are the new first years with their newly bonded dragons. Across from us are the dragons and riders in second and third year. If it wasn’t for the fact he was my squad leader, I would have thought my dragon picked out spot based on the other dragons colour. Across from us is a dragon I’d only heard Bodhi and others speak about. The biggest and most ruthless dragon in the quadrant. Sgaeyl. Though with how she was eyeing us off, I had a feeling we now rivalled that position.

As my feet touch the ground, I’m met with a different set of eyes. The ones belonging to the rider of Sgaeyl. Xaden. He offers me one of his signature smirks and a brief nod of his head before his attention shifts to his right, where another set of eyes are looking at me. Garrick, who has his usual unimpressed look on his face as I meet his eyes. I give him a vulgar gesture which only worsens the look on his face before I turn to my way down to the roll keeper.

”Do I want to know what you’re problem is with him?”

”Everything. Now what do I call you before I make a fool of myself in front of the roll keeper and that thing I call a father.” I snap back as I start down the make shift path down the middle of the flight field where a line of cadets waits to give their dragons name.

”You already know my name.”

”No, I know what he use to call you and I know it isn’t your full name.”

Movement on the dais catches my attention. I knew he would be here. Knew he would be waiting for Dain and I to bond our dragon. I hadn’t even bothered to see if Dain had made it back on my way down. And I wasn’t turning my back on my father to check.

His eyes don’t meet mine. Still too focused on the dragon behind me. I don’t have to be an inninstic to know what he’s thinking. I know exactly what he’s thinking and the lecture I’m definitely getting after I tell the roll keeper his name.

The rider ahead of me finishes telling the roll keeper their dragons name, moving aside to let me move forward. She looks up and offers me a smile. “Ah, Dahlia Aetos. Congratulations on bonding a dragon.” She says as she writes my name down. “For the record, please tell me the name of the dragon who chose you.”

Behind her my father steps forward, close enough to hear the name leave my mouth. I hold my ground, shifting my eyes from the roll keeper to his. The same brown eyes Dain and I inherited. Eyes that I cowered under as a kid. Eyes I had hoped and wanted to look at me with love and adoration while I was a kid. But not now. Now I couldn’t care less how he looked at me, as long as I proved him wrong.

“Now would be a good time to tell me your name.”

”Prothoenor.”

I square my shoulders and lift my chin, the corner of my mouth lifting into a smirk I know my father hates before I announce his name.

”His name is Prothoenor.”

She nods happily, before writing down his name next to mine and motioning for me to move along. I pivot on my heal, tearing my gaze from my fathers. I barely get ten steps away before I hear rushed steps behind me as a hand roughly grabs my arm and spins me around.

I resist the urge to shove my hands out and shove my father away, knowing I will face far worse punishment for disrespecting leadership. It didn’t matter if he was my father. I was a rider and he was a Colonel who out ranked me. It seems the last few days were out to get me with Deja Vu. The last time I had seen so much hatred and rage in his eyes was back in that clearing. The day mother had died. They had he had told me I was no daughter of his.

”What are you playing at bonding that dragon?” He snarls at me as he tightens his grip on my arm as I try to tug it free.

”I am not playing at anything.” I snap back.

”Don’t mess with me girl. You know who that dragon belong to before you.”

I tug again on my arm, finally succeeding at getting it free as I step back. “Yes I am aware who his rider was before me. He was the last family I had left before his suspicious death.”

He recoils slightly at my words before leaning back towards me and pointing a finger at me. “Your grandfathers death was not suspicious. And as I’ve told you before, we will not be discussing his death ever again.”

”You can’t tell me, that sending his squad to an abandoned outpost near no enemy activity and none of them surviving isn’t suspicious.”

Everything about his death sent alarm bells off in my head, especially as I got older. Something never sat quite right with me about it. But any time I’d brought it up I was locked in my room until he’d seen fit to let me out again. And now I had bonded his dragon, I knew his was scared I might find out the truth behind it all.

He goes to step towards me but comes up short as he averts his gaze over my head. Gasps sound around me as those around us turn their gaze behind me. So far our little conversation had gone unnoticed. Until now. The familiar shake of the ground tells me who is approaching. His words from earlier echoing in my head.

I would have done anything to make sure no harm came to you little flower.

And apparently that also extended to my own father. My father who quickly steps back, giving me a fleeting glare before walking back to his place on the dais.

@imtoanonymousforyou @simplyme-fornow @omalmal @lalaluch @wolfbc97 @leptitlu @fullmoon-94 @the-fandom-ness