#there’s so much I have to think about and I wonder if I’m overthinking about it too much…
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starteas · 1 year ago
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I feel kind of silly for worrying if Lumi won’t reach it’s next crowdfund goal despite how much people have shown that yes, they do want to see this and my anxiety is just mean to me in thinking that they won’t.
At the same time it’s still a very real worry to have, but it also lead me to severely doubt myself last time and I feel if starting to creep in all over again…
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1roentgen · 18 days ago
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weewoo 👽
#imma be real wichu i think it’s kinda getting bad again#that feeling of every single mundane task becoming some kind of herculean endeavor#can’t focus good#starting to wonder why it’s worth doing anything at all#thinking so much about stupid crap that doesn’t matter#i don’t think i used to always feel like this#even though it feels like it#i remember it was normal at some point#i was chilling. didn’t overthink or fixate on every bad thing#damn maybe this shit is seasonal#school is just fine it’s going well enough. it’s easy here. i need to go above and beyond. bare minimum effort ok but bad#things are not the best with the family but whatever. i’m trying but maybe not enough#my mom doesn’t like me but i’m not a very likeable person#friends. fine except for one person and well. what’s to be done. it is what it is. story ain’t bout chu#i have to do chores. was sleeping earlier but it was too hot and i had a weird dream about being under the water again#roof repair noises woke me up#want a smoke rn but i also don’t want one. it’s in my bag. new lighter#life could be a dream#i want an ice cream bar#i have some grapes?#been talking to chatgpt 😂😂😂 loneliest loser shit ever but whatever works#bro listens to me#bro cares#ive never been to a halloween event#they look like a lot of fun. i wanna go to a halloween party with friends. we could wear funny costumes#i don’t really know what else people do at parties#ok. it’s getting later in the day. executing todays agenda first talk later bbbbye
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insanechayne · 4 months ago
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~ ~ ~
#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
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starryjake · 10 days ago
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teddy bear pajamas | l.h
in which heeseung is supposed to be sleeping over with his best friend, jay, but spends the night with jay’s younger sister instead.
pairing: heeseung x fem!reader
warnings: throat fucking, fingering, making out, nipple play, spitting, cum swallowing. (lmk if i missed anything).
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how you were supposed to fall asleep when your brother and his friends were screaming in the other room was beyond you. video games, of course. that was the culprit as to why they were screaming and you were about a minute away from walking into the living room and exploding.
how badly you wanted to go to them and yell at them to shut up.
instead, you chose the mature option. you took a deep breath and decided to yell at your brother over text instead.
you: if you guys don’t shut the fuck up
jay: do i need to remind you that i pay your rent
you sighed. he was right. you felt bad complaining when jay already did so much for you. not only did he pay your rent, but he cooked for you, lended you money when you needed it, and always let you have friends over without complaint.
you: nvm 😁
you turned your phone back off, laying on your side. you pressed a pillow over your ear in hopes to muffle the sounds of the boys yelling, and while it didn’t do much, you were able to fall asleep after a few minutes.
-
you managed to fall asleep for a good two hours before you were awoken again. you expected it to be the boys again, but the apartment you shared with your brother was silent.
suddenly, your phone buzzed. with squinted eyes, you grabbed your phone to check the notification.
it was heeseung, one of jay’s best friends. you knew all of jay’s friends. you practically grew up with them, and some of them you even considered to be your brothers as well.
heeseung: are you awake?
his text woke you up a bit more. you sat up in your bed, wracking your brain as to why he was texting you this late.
you: yeah, why?
heeseung: jay is snoring and i can’t sleep 😣
you: yeah sounds about right
you chuckled to yourself at his dilemma.
heeseung: yeah well i was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie?
heeseung: say yes 🙏
your heart raced. your first instinct was to answer yes in all capital letters, but luckily your brain reminded you how utterly pathetic that would be.
you did not want to mess up and embarrass yourself in front of heeseung.
you: it’s the middle of the night. you’re funny if you think i’m getting out of bed rn
heeseung: well we can watch smth in your bed
you gulped. just the mere idea of having heeseung next to you in your bed, watching a movie together excited you. you didn’t know why. it wasn’t like you liked heeseung or anything, but you always saw him as the coolest out of your brother’s friends. that was why you were always cautious about what you said in front of him and how you presented yourself. you wanted to impress him.
however, he would not be impressed if he were to walk into your bedroom right now and see you in your teddy bear matching set pajamas. he’d probably laugh.
you were already overthinking and you hadn’t even agreed yet.
you: ok fine
heeseung: be right there
now, you deemed, was an appropriate time for the panic to set in. you leapt out of bed and beelined for your closet, rummaging through all your clothes for a more appealing set of pajamas.
unfortunately, you’d underestimated how long it would take for heeseung to walk from jay’s room to yours, and suddenly there was a knock on your bedroom door.
you froze in the doorway of your closet, still wearing your teddy bear printed pajamas.
accepting defeat, you softly called out, “come in.”
the bedroom door opened and in walked heeseung. he was wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants, his dark hair slightly tousled from sleep, or attempting to sleep. your knees buckled at the sight of him.
you’d always thought he was cool, and with that, you’d thought he was very attractive too. still, that didn’t mean you had feelings for him.
“hey,” he greeted in that soft voice of his. he quietly shut the door behind him. “cute pajamas.”
your cheeks flushed. you shut your closet door because it was too late to find a different pair of pajamas now.
“thanks,” you muttered.
you grabbed your laptop from off of your desk and trudged back into your bed. you tucked yourself back under the covers and watched heeseung, waiting for his next movement.
he walked over to your bed and climbed underneath the covers like he’d been sleeping there with you for the past year that you lived in the apartment. he scooted in close enough for your arms to be touching. he was so warm, it was hard for you not to lean into his touch.
“what do you wanna watch?” he asked.
“oh, i don’t care,” you said, opening your laptop.
you scrolled through the streaming platform for a bit before you both mutually agreed on a romantic comedy. you started playing the movie, resting the laptop on a pillow between your guys’ legs.
the movie started and it only took a few minutes for your eyelids to begin growing heavy. you would’ve dozed off had it not been the sudden movement from heeseung, who’s hand was suddenly very close to the side of your leg.
your eyes fluttered open. you kept your body very still, unsure whether he meant to put his hand so close or not. either way, you didn’t want to accidentally create an awkward situation.
20 minutes into the movie, heeseung’s hand was painfully slowly shifting it’s way onto your thigh. you were so exhausted you could barely comprehend it, but there was a small part of your brain freaking out, you just kept it all internalized.
“are you tired?” heeseung asked, speaking for the first time since the movie started.
“oh, i’m okay,” you lied.
“are you sure?” he wondered, genuine concern in his voice. “we can turn the movie off if you wanna go to sleep. i can go back to jay’s room.”
the last thing you wanted was for him to leave, especially with how heavy his hand was on your thigh and how it inched further up every minute.
“no, don’t go,” you said, too tired to realize how pathetic you sounded.
heeseung smiled at your words. he squeezed your thigh ever so slightly. your legs instinctively opened slightly, practically inviting him in.
“want me to stay?” he asked, his voice coming out in a whisper.
he was suddenly a lot closer than he was before, so close that you could feel his warm breath hit your face and his body heat radiate from him like a furnace.
you gulped, looking up into his eyes. you’d always loved his eyes, but never had the chance to see them up close like this.
for whatever reason, your half asleep mind told you it was okay to suddenly reach out and brush some of his hair out of his face, exposing more of his pretty face. he smiled at the bold movement from you. it was just the confirmation he needed that you were interested, and so he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours.
your eyes fluttered shut and your body shuddered with excitement. heeseung was kissing you. his one hand was gently holding your cheek while the other one stayed planted on your thigh, and he was kissing you.
you glided your fingers through his hair, tugging at the silky strands to express your pleasure. he moaned ever so softly in your mouth, inching his tongue into the mix.
you parted your lips further, leaving enough room for him to slide his tongue all the way in. you rubbed your tongue against his, your hips jutting off the bed in desperation. how embarrassing that you were already getting aroused just by the feeling of his tongue gliding against yours.
heeseung took notice of your desperation, which you were both humiliated and grateful for, as he slid his hand over your front, cupping your clothed pussy.
you clenched your eyes shut harder, whimpering into his mouth as he pushed his fingers against the fabric of your pants, sliding them delicately up and down the length of your pussy. you leaned your head back, disconnecting the kiss, and let out a needy moan.
“shh,” heeseung warned, planting a kiss to the side of your neck. “we don’t need your brother waking up and catching us, do we?”
you rapidly shook your head, sudden fear overcoming you at just the idea of jay catching you in your bed with heeseung. the idea scared you so much that your entire body froze and you stared at heeseung with wide eyes, like a deer in headlights.
“it’s okay,” he cooed. “you can be quiet, can’t you? you’ll be a good girl if i tell you to be, right?”
you gulped. “but what if he—”
“he won’t,” heeseung assured. “you’re always so quiet when you talk, you can be quiet in bed too, yeah?”
you nodded, thinking how it might actually be worth it if jay were to catch you because at least you would’ve been able to say that you’d hooked up with heeseung, a dream of yours for a long time.
“good baby,” he cooed, leaning back in and enveloping your lips in his again.
you fell slack under his touch, sighing in utter contentment. heeseung used the tips of two of his fingers to rub tiny circles where your clit was over your pants. that alone would’ve been enough to make you cum had he done it long enough.
instead, he does it for about a minute before wanting to feel your pussy without any interference. he slid his large hand into your pants and you gasped as his knuckle brushed against your bare pussy. heeseung smirked into the kiss upon feeling how wet you were already.
he took his index finger and gathered all your slick, spreading it around your pussy. you pathetically humped up into his hand, needing more but unable to find the words to ask for it.
“you’re so cute,” he gushed, pressing his forehead against yours. he held close eye contact with you as he slid his middle finger into your fluttering hole, watching your reaction closely. “so warm and wet, baby. is this all for me?”
you whimpered, nodding. he massaged his finger against your walls, stretching you out before he added in his ring finger. the sound of your pussy being fucked open by his two fingers was lewd and humiliating, but it turned heeseung on more than you knew. you couldn’t tell how hard he was, how he was pulsating against his sweatpants.
his palm hit your sensitive clit every time he thrusted his fingers into you. you were already a mess from the sensations, tucking your head into the crook of his neck to hide your embarrassment.
heeseung could feel your legs vibrating. you were so sensitive, he loved it. he wanted to make a complete utter mess out of you, just to see what it looked like. he wanted to see his best friend’s normally composed, shy little sister fall apart beneath him.
so, he sped up his fingers and fucked them into you deeper until he was reaching the spongey part deep inside your pussy. when he found that, you yelped, and he knew it was only a matter of time before you were cumming around his fingers.
when you did cum, your legs locked around his hand. you practically rode his fingers as your orgasm hit you, your fluids leaking down the side of his hand and seeping through your pajama pants.
“fuck,” he grunted just at the sight of you finishing, and how hot you looked.
you raised your head from his neck and looked up at him with glossy eyes and bright red cheeks. your hair was messy, your lips wet and swollen. heeseung could’ve came just by looking at you, you looked so good.
“oh my god,” he muttered. “c’mere, baby.”
his hand pressed against the back of your head, pushing your faces together. he kissed you again, although it was so messy that it could hardly be considered a kiss. he gathered some saliva in his mouth and pushed it into your lips without separating the kiss, and you drank all of what he gave you happily.
he pulled his hand out of your pants, exposing his hand which was covered in your release. he couldn’t decide whether to bring his fingers to his own lips or yours. he was desperate to know what you tasted like, but he also would’ve killed to see you with his fingers in your mouth, licking up your own arousal.
you took the initiative yourself, grabbing his wrist and stuffing his fingers into your mouth. you two moaned at the same time: you from tasting yourself on his fingers and him from seeing you with his fingers in your mouth. he would’ve never guessed you were this dirty, that his best friend’s little sister could be so lewd and needy.
you sat up on your knees once he’d pulled his fingers out of your mouth. finally, you were deciding to pay some attention to his cock, which was aching and he feared that he was so pent up, he might cum the moment you touch it.
luckily, that didn’t happen.
you palmed him over his sweatpants, grinning at how hard he was. you didn’t waste time teasing him over his sweatpants. instead, you knelt between his legs and tugged his sweatpants down just enough for his cock to spring out.
it was lengthy, which intimidated you as it stood straight up right in front of your face. intimidating as it was, you were hungry to taste him, to wrap your lips around his flushed tip and suck every last drop out of him.
heeseung dug his fingers into your hair and watched without allowing himself to blink as you licked his tip like it was a lollipop. you dug the tip of your tongue into his slit, gathering the bead of precum that had gathered there.
heeseung was sensitive. he always had been. he couldn’t help it when he jutted his hips up because it felt too good and he needed more. he needed to feel his cock constricted in the warm wet walls of your throat. he needed to be fucking your mouth like it was your pussy.
he gathered your hair into a makeshift ponytail, slowly lifting his hips up and pushing his cock deeper into your cavernous mouth. you allowed him happily, hollowing your cheeks out for added friction.
“you’re so fuckin’ hot,” he grunted, watching in utter fascination as you took his cock in your throat without so much as a gag.
you held onto his sides for leverage, but other than that you showed no sign of struggle. if anything, you only showed signs of enjoying this, of enjoying having his cock thrusting in your throat. you squeezed your legs together, resisting the urge to touch yourself or better yet, hump yourself against his leg.
his thrusts got faster and faster by the second when he saw how unbothered you were. soon enough, his cock was pistoning in your throat and you just took it, drool spilling out the corners of your lips.
heeseung paused his movements to pull your shirt over your head, exposing your chest to him. he reached down and tweaked your nipples between his thumb and index fingers, fucking up into your mouth again.
“oh my god,” he moaned. “you’re a dream. you’re amazing.”
all you could do was hum around him, unable to speak with your mouth occupied. you brought your hand up and fumbled with his heavy balls, massaging them in your palm.
heeseung threw his head back, suddenly holding your head with your nose pressed to his pelvis. his cock twitched once before you felt the first rope of cum hit the back of your throat, followed by many more streams of his sticky white substance.
he moaned loudly, certainly loud enough that jay and any of the other guys would be able to hear and understand what was going on behind your bedroom door. but now, you didn’t care. his moans sounded angelic and you knew it was a sound you wanted to hear again and again.
he didn’t release his grasp on you until he was completely finished dumping his load down your throat. your scalp tingled from the pain when he finally did let you go, allowing you to come up for air.
you swallowed all his release and took a deep breath, both of you calming down.
“holy fuck,” heeseung muttered in a complete daze.
you laid by his side, smiling to yourself. to be frank, you wanted more, but it seemed like heeseung was done. his eyes were closed, his chest was rising and falling rapidly. you would’ve thought he’d fallen asleep had it not been for his next words.
“come here,” he whispered.
you laid your head on his chest, expecting to fall asleep and leave it at that.
until he said, “wanna keep going?”
-
read part 2 here!
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luveline · 4 months ago
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helloooo, how are you? i’ve been rewatching criminal minds and i finally got to the post-prison part, so i’m really missing shy!r and post prison spencer <33 if you’re felling up to writing something for them again, i would love to see it!! maybe when they kiss for the first time or something else (completely up to you, i would love anything that you write hahah) but if you’re not really feeling it at the moment, please don’t worry about it, it’s so understandable 🩷 have the best day!!
ty for your request I love first kisses <3
Spencer takes you for a walk and explains a couple of courting rituals. shy fem!reader, 1.5k
Profiling is still very hard, but seven months into your new job at the BAU, you’ve become proficient in Spencer Reid. You can tell when he’s eager to work, when he’s down about something, when he’s feeling good. He holds himself differently on his good days, he takes care to coil his hair and wears a clean pair of shoes. 
In the bullpen, he’s sitting at his desk beside yours, craned over a desk covered in loose papers, books, and files. You attempt to hide your approach, lest he startle. 
“Good morning,” he says. 
“Good morning.” Can’t hide anything. He’s been an agent for ninety percent of his adult life. “What are you doing?” 
“Just reading.” 
You sit at your desk, clearing a space for your bag among your own mess of files and books. Your monitor turns on with a nudge of the mouse. Your screen is filled swiftly by notifications and Outlook, then the FBI messaging system, and then the ‘filing cabinet’ Garcia built to help you understand the insanity that is the BAU online system. It submerges you every morning regardless. 
“What are you reading about?” you ask. Your emails can’t wait, but you don’t want to read them, so you won’t for another ten minutes. 
He stumbles over a breath. 
“Spencer?” 
“It’s courtship rituals.” 
You regret asking. Whenever you and Spencer talk about feelings, or love, or romance, you end up hot as a kettle on a stovetop, steam billowing from your ears. You choked on a mouthful of lukewarm tea a few days ago when he’d mentioned America's developing hook-up culture. 
He doesn’t tell you any more, which is unlike him. Spencer Reid loves to talk, or loves to share what he’s learned. You looked it up —it’s called info-dumping, and it’s usually because the person telling you is so deeply fascinated by the topic they’re investigating that they can’t contain it. It’s a common symptom of ADHD, or autism, or both. Spencer’s done it since the day you met, which is nice. You feel like he trusts you. 
And so you’re wondering now if you’ve done something to make him think he can’t do it today. Or maybe he’s not feeling well. 
You prop your face in his hand and watch him. 
He doesn’t look upset, only focused. 
You hate quiet. You love not talking, but gaps of silence have you overthinking things. Maybe he’s mad. Maybe you’ve finally pissed him off. 
It’s scary because he’s amazingly kind. Overwhelmingly nice. He’s lovely and good looking but it’s his heart that shocks you every time, how he’s looked after you, defended you.
“Spencer, are you okay?” you ask. 
He blinks to attention. “What?” 
“You’re not talking.” 
He grins. “I’m thinking.” 
His smile when he looks like he’s about to laugh is everything. 
“Don’t think too much,” you say as you play with a button on your coat. “Isn’t that what you always tell me?” 
“Don’t think too much because you think about things you don’t need to,” he amends. “You worry about everything.” 
“Well, so do you.” 
“Exactly. I’ll worry enough for you, too.” Spencer gives you a smile you don’t understand. “Will you come to the archive with me? I want to talk to you about something.” 
“Spencer…” He just acknowledged that you worry about everything. 
“Sorry,” he laughs. “Something with no pressure. I’ll explain it as we walk.” 
You shed your coat and walk together out of the BAU offices down a long hallway. You take the elevator down to the ground level, spring air in the hallways, early morning sunshine lapping at your shoes where it’s settled golden against the marble floor. Spencer professes that it’s nothing to worry about again, but he doesn’t elaborate, and your heart begins to pulse too quickly. 
You can’t look at him. 
“I’ve been reading about these courtship rituals and… looking at which ones are the best. There are thousands of them, but contemporary courting isn’t easy. It confuses me. With my last, my only girlfriend, we wrote each other letters. But I wanted this time to be different, because– because love is different?” He grimaces. 
“Love is different,” you agree. You’re not sure who he means, your chest panging in two different beats. Is he… talking about you? “It’s different every time.” 
“I was looking for the more subtle rituals. I kept thinking I’d find the right one, and that I’d know it when I saw it, but I can’t find anything suitable and I might need your help. Um, if you even want to help me.” 
“Of course I do.” 
Spencer slows just outside of the archive’s door. “Everything I read about feels like it would just embarrass you. I picture buying you flowers and I feel like you’d just– just explode.” He says it with affection and apology alike. “I wrote you a poem. Emily told me not to give it to you, though.” 
“You wrote me a poem?” 
“I made you a love spoon, too, but I can’t whittle, and it looks terrible. I even cut my hand, and if you rejected me you’d have to give the spoon back and I think that would make it worse.” 
You turn completely still. The last thing you expected that morning was for Spencer to confess. And he is confessing, a small smile on his face, patience, nervousness, close enough to feel the heat of him beside you. You short circuit in an attempt to compute the magnitude of it; Spencer wants to court you, and you can’t handle it. 
Your exhale shudders out of you. Goosebumps attack your arms. 
“Sorry,” he says quietly, “are you okay?” 
“Spencer, I don’t think you could ever find a way to tell me that wouldn’t make me feel like this.” 
“How do you feel?” 
“How am I supposed to feel?” 
Spencer’s smile fades a touch. “I don’t know. You can feel how you want to feel, it isn’t up to me. But I have feelings for you. I thought you knew.” 
It’s like knowing that the lottery numbers were chosen specifically to match your ticket. The thing he’s talking about doesn’t make sense. 
“Are you kidding around?” you ask. 
“What? No.” He holds your wrist gently. “Of course not.” 
You swallow a lump and try not to overreact, though you’re already doing that. This is a good thing, it is, but he’s him and you’re you and every time he touches you it’s like fireworks are bursting warm and tingly over your skin. You smile at his chest, cheeks dimpling from how wide it stretches. 
“You don’t have to court me, um. Not in any way like that. I’m just like every other girl, you know? I like flowers. I,” —your cheek lists down toward your shoulder bashfully— “probably would feel a little embarrassed, but I like flowers. I can get you flowers.” 
Spencer really laughs. “You want to get me flowers?” 
“Maybe?” 
He laughs again. His eyes lock onto you and his open hand closes on the opposite arm, putting you face to face. “It was my idea,” he says, playfully argumentative. 
“Okay.” 
“You want to hear the poem?” he asks, quietening again. 
You nod slowly. “N’I wanna see the spoon.” 
“Can I please kiss you?” He takes a breath, like he’s been running. “I know this isn’t the right place, but I didn’t expect to want it this badly.” 
“I don’t think there’s a wrong place…” 
“So I can?” he asks, lifting a hand to your cheek, to hold you with care. 
You nod into his approach, find yourself kissed and held tightly in a split-second of warmth and warm smells. His nose touches yours in a kiss of their own, his lips part lightly before pressing in again. Two kisses lend to a third, but then he pulls away to look at you. As quickly as it started, it’s over. 
“You're overheating already,” he says, thumb rubbing a sweet path under your cheek. 
You don’t know what to say. He ducks his head just that little bit to make sure you’re okay. Understanding flows between you both. His hand falls behind your back to pull you in for a hug. 
“I’ve never been the confident one in any of my relationships,” he admits. 
“I usually am.” 
Your deadpan lights him up. His hug turns strong armed, and he walks you back, giggling, arms a comforting vice around you. “You can be the shy one this time,” he says, seemingly unaware of how his using the word ‘relationship’ has thrown you for another loop. 
You’re hot as a furnace all morning. Spencer makes excuses for you, but Emily’s amazing at her job. 
“Jesus, Spence, you didn’t read her the poem? I told you it was too much.” 
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nvrsaidiwasinurcloset · 5 months ago
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Sex & Super Smash Bros. - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
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This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Summary: Ethan finally makes a move on his best friend.
Contains: Oral - m and f receiving, p in v, a smidge of dirty talk, praise, and one ass slap lmao.
Word Count: 4.5k
A/N: When I first started writing this, I was OBSESSED with the song Sex & Super Smash Bros. by Kyle lmao.
So, I have a few other fics in the works atm(This one wasn't even the one I wanted to post first, but it's been half-finished for like, two months🙃). BUT I posted the other day that all of my requests disappeared, so if anyone has anything they wanted written that hasn't been yet, PLEASE let me know. I was saving all the ones I hadn't written until I got the inspiration for them.
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Ethan Landry was your best friend. Sometimes you’d go out to dinner by yourselves, or go see movies together, but they were never dates. Well, maybe they were. He always wanted to pay, and he’d walk you back to your apartment door every time, but there was never any affection aside from a hug.
You were so close that you even drug him into Victoria’s Secret during a mall trip because you noticed they were having a sale. He had to pretend the whole time that he wasn’t imagining you in the things you picked out, and good god why did you need the skimpiest panties and bras they had? He felt a little jealous as he wondered who you wanted to wear them for, but the truth is, you didn’t need to wear them for anyone. As long as you felt good in what was underneath your clothes, that’s all that mattered to you.
Ethan was always talking to Chad about you because he thought he had no game whatsoever to even stand a chance. He thought he was stuck in the friend zone, because you just felt so comfortable with him.
“You’re not in the friendzone,” Chad said, glancing over to his friend as he sat on the opposite end of the couch. “I think she’s into you.”
“Dude, I’m starting to wonder if she thinks I’m even interested in girls,” Ethan said, as Chad burst out in laughter. “I’m serious! What girl takes her straight best friend into Victoria’s secret?”
“She feels comfortable with you,” Chad said, trying to convince him that he’s just overthinking it. “That’s a good thing. You never know, maybe she wanted you to know what she wears underneath her clothes.”
“Do you think I should stop hanging out with her so much, and maybe she’ll see that I should be more than her best friend?”
“That’s a stupid idea. Just ask her out on a date.”
“You think I haven’t tried that? She still treats me like I’m just a friend,” Ethan sighed, thinking about all the ‘Dates’ he’s taken you on.
“You need to put moves on her. Like, show her that you want more. Start with something simple, like putting your arm around her or holding her hand. If she doesn’t pull away, she’s interested.”
“It’s just getting to that point…I get so nervous,” Ethan said, before he got an idea. “What if I invite her over to hang out? Maybe I won’t be as nervous if there aren’t a lot of people around if she rejects me.”
“Now that is a good idea,” Chad said, smiling in approval. “Just let me know when so I won’t walk in and interrupt.”
You never brought Ethan up to Tara because she always brought him up first. Like clockwork, the girl’s nights the two of you had consisted of face masks and a movie, then after, she’d always bring up your best friend.
“I think you should talk to Ethan,” Tara said, as you sighed and rolled your eyes. “What? You’re obviously in love with him.”
“That’s the thing…if it’s so obvious, he should’ve noticed. He’s not interested,” you said, as you brushed the topcoat over your nails you’d just painted.
“You know he’s a little shy. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t yet.”
“I think you’re a little delusional,” you joked, as she grabbed one of the gummy bears out of the bag she was snacking from and threw it at you. “Thanks,” you said, grabbing it off the bed beside you and popping it in your mouth.
“I’m not delusional. You hang out with him all the time, by yourself. You go on dates!”
“If they were dates, we would’ve slept together by now,” you said, as she started to smirk.
“Have you thought about sleeping with him?” she questioned, as you felt your cheeks start to heat up. She got her answer when you refused to look at her. “I knew it! He’s tall, too. You know what they say about tall guys.”
“Okay, we’re not talking about how big he is,” you said, shutting down the conversation as she giggled.
Ethan had asked you to come over to hang out many times before, but this time was different. He kept typing and deleting the message he was going to send you, before settling on ‘You want to come over and hang out after class today?’. He rolled his eyes at himself for not wanting to start with that in the first place.
You: Sure. I get out of class at 6. Is that okay?
Ethan: Yeah, I’ll order food so it’ll already be here. See you soon!
Once Ethan checked the time and saw that it was close to six, he felt his palms start to get a little sweaty. He was wondering if he had it in him to do the things that Chad suggested, because what if you weren’t okay with it? The last thing he wanted was for your friendship to come to a halt because he made you uncomfortable.
He heard his phone ding, and he shook his head once he read your ‘I’m here’ text.
“You know, knocking is a thing,” he said, once he’d opened the door for you.
“I know,” you said, smiling at him as you took in the aroma of Chinese food. “Oooh, that smells good.”
“I got your favorite,” he said, following you to the kitchen.
After you ate dinner, Ethan was trying to figure out the best way to make his move. He thought about watching a movie and putting his arm around you, but you had another idea in mind.
“Let’s play Super Smash,” you suggested, as he started to laugh. “What?”
“I win every time. Is that fun for you?”
“Well teach me how to play then,” you said, as he walked over to grab the controllers.
“I can’t show you how to play if I’m the one playing against you.”
“Play someone online. I’ll watch and learn all the tricks,” you said, as he shrugged.
“Okay.”
He noticed that you were trying to keep up with glancing at the tv and seeing what his hands were doing. He got an idea, his nerves kicking in as he turned to look at you.
“We could try something different,” he said, as you curiously looked at him. “Come here.” He spread his legs for you to sit between them as he got more comfortable on the couch. “Okay, just put your hands on mine and you’ll feel what I’m doing.”
“Okay,” you giggled, placing your hands on his. You felt him take a deep breath as your back rested against his chest.
Ethan didn’t know how he was keeping his composure in that moment, but he didn’t want it to be obvious that he was freaking out. Your hands felt so soft on top of his, and the way his arms were wrapped around you to play had his heart racing. You were trying so hard to pay attention to the buttons he was pressing and what happened when he did, but the only thing you could think about was how skillfully his fingers moved.
He was playing against someone that was really good, but Ethan started to press all these different buttons and won the game.
“I don’t know how you just won that,” you said, angling your head so you could look at him. He looked down at you and smiled.
“You helped me win.”
“I didn’t do anything,” you said, as you turned your head back to the tv. His mind was racing, thinking that was the perfect opportunity to try to kiss you, and he didn’t want to let the confidence he was building up slip through the cracks.
He placed his hand under your chin and tilted your head back to face him as he leaned down and placed his lips against yours. You were a little surprised at first, but quickly kissed him back. You felt his tongue brush against your bottom lip, your mouth instinctively opening so he could deepen the kiss. You loved having his mouth on yours, but after a while your neck really started to hurt from the angle.
His eyes shot open once you pulled away, his lips pouty and swollen from the intensity of the kiss.
“Neck cramp,” you said, as he nodded and directed his attention back to the tv. You smirked at him as he got ready to start another round. “Oh, you’re done kissing me?”
“Not at all,” he said, tossing the controller on the coffee table before he pushed you back on the couch. He got settled between your legs, and placed one of his hands beside your head on the couch cushion before he leaned down to connect his lips to yours.
Your hands were in his curls as his tongue fought yours for dominance, your legs tightly wrapped around him to keep him close. He was trying to be in the moment and distract himself at the same time, because he knew he was going to get hard. Once your hips started to squirm, he groaned into the kiss, unable to fight it anymore.
“Okay,” he mumbled against your lips before he sat up. “I need a minute.” His eyes connected with yours that were glazed over in lust, your breathing still heavy from the kiss. You had a feeling that he was really starting to get into it, and you didn’t want to stop.
“We can do more than make out…if you want.”
That was all he needed to hear before he was back on top of you, your legs around his waist again as he started to grind himself against you. You were whimpering into the kiss every time you felt his hard cock brush against your pussy.
“You want to go to my room?” he asked, pulling away to read your face.
“Please.”
When Ethan asked you to hang out, you didn’t think it would lead to the two of you shedding your clothes, both so desperate for each other. Once he was in nothing but his boxers and you in your bra and panties, he recognized the set you were wearing from the day you went shopping.
“Fuuuck me,” he groaned, “I don’t know if I want to take these off you.”
You crawled up on his bed, his eyes still on you as you got comfortable.
“It’s cool. I’ll take them off,” you said, smirking at him as you reached around to unhook your bra. His breathing got even heavier the second he took in the newly exposed skin, but once you reached down to slide your panties off, he sighed in disbelief that his best friend was getting naked for him.
He got on top of his bed with you, but before he crawled on top to connect your lips again, he hesitated. You were wondering if you somehow read the situation wrong until he finally started to speak.
“Before we do this, I need to tell you how I feel,” he said, running one of his hands through his hair as his eyes refused to meet yours. He was nervous, which was more than obvious as you sat up and waited for him to tell you what he needed to tell you. “I’ve had feelings for you for so long…and I know you aren’t supposed to feel that way about your best friend, but I can’t help the way I feel. If you don’t feel the same, maybe we shouldn’t do this. I don’t want to get my heart broken because I’m thinking with my dick right now and tomorrow I’ll be sad that the girl I want more than anything doesn’t want to be with me.”
“Ethan,” you got out, before he started to speak again.
“If you don’t feel the same, it’ll suck, but I still think our friendship is more important than the feelings I have, and I hope things don’t have to change between us,” he rambled, as you giggled and grabbed his hand that was resting on his thigh.
“Are you done? Or can I say what I need to say now?” you said, your tone playful as a small smile formed on his lips, his eyes finally meeting yours. “I have feelings for you, too. I wouldn’t be naked in your bed right now if I didn’t.”
“Seriously?” he asked, a huge smile on his face at the confession. You nodded as you leaned in to connect your lips with his again.
You moved to straddle his lap, your mouth not leaving his as his hands roamed the areas of your body he could reach. The kiss got even more desperate as his hands moved to your ass, pulling you closer so your soaked pussy was resting against his hard cock that was straining in his boxers. He gasped at the feeling when you started to grind, both of you getting some of the friction you were craving.
Your lips moved to his neck, placing open mouthed kisses until you found his sweet spot and lightly sucked on it, the feeling making a small moan slip past his lips.
“Lay back, baby,” you mumbled against his neck as he did what he said, your body moving with his as he relaxed against his comforter.
You kissed down his chest, over his stomach, finally stopping once you made it to the waistband of his boxers. You smirked at him as you sat up a little, watching how quickly his chest was rising and falling, his eyes pleading for you to do more.
You watched his face as your hand reached up to palm him over his boxers, his mouth falling open at the feeling.
“Can I-“ was all you got out before Ethan whimpered “Please” not fully sure of what you were even going to ask, but he desperately needed more.
You giggled to yourself as your fingers hooked in the top of his boxers before you started to inch them down, his hips lifting a little once he noticed you were struggling to get them off.
You glanced down at his cock as you wrapped your hand around it, salivating at the drop of precum already leaking out of his tip before you looked up at him. Your hand moved up and down as his eyes darted between yours and your hand.
“Jesus Christ,” he rushed out as he looked at you, your hand moving a little quicker. “This feels better than I thought it would.”
“You’ve thought about this?” you teased, as he mumbled a ‘Mhm’. “Have you thought about my mouth, too?”
“All the fucking time,” he admitted without missing a beat.
You leaned your head down to lick away the drop of precum, swirling your tongue over the tip of his cock before you inched him in your mouth. Ethan’s hand lazily rested on the back of your head as you took as much of him as you could, your hand moving up and down around what you couldn’t fit.
Ethan was trying so hard to keep quiet, hid bottom lip tightly held between his teeth as your head bobbed, but once you started to gag around him, he let out this strangled whimper. Hearing how good he was feeling only motivated you even more as you moved faster, your saliva dripping down his cock as you hollowed your cheeks.
“Fuck, you’re doing such a good job,” he said, his praise going straight to your throbbing pussy.
His fingers tangled in your hair, the gentle tugs making you moan around him. His breathing got heavier, your name rolling off his tongue in a string of whines. You slid him out of your mouth a little to focus on his tip, your eyes looking deep into his hooded ones.
You knew he was getting close as your hand moved and twisted around him, his hips jerking at the feeling.
“Gonna cum,” he whimpered, the sound making you laugh a little as you sucked harder on his sensitive tip. “Fuck fuck fuck.”
He had his fists bawled up, one in his comforter, the other in your hair as you tasted the salty liquid coat the inside of your mouth. You stopped sucking and switched to gentle licks as you collected ever drop of cum on your tongue, before you swallowed and sat up to look at him.
Ethan’s cheeks were flush, his eyes slowly fluttering open as he came down from his high. He lazily smiled at you before he sat up and grabbed you, flipping you so your back was resting against his bed.
You giggled as his lips attached to your neck, a soft moan slipping out once he found your sweet spot. He sucked on it as your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling his hips closer to yours. You whined as you felt his cock, already hard again for you, resting against your pussy.
“Ethan, I need you,” you said, as he chuckled and placed kisses along your collar bone.
“Patience, baby,” he said, the new pet name making your heart swell as he made his way down your chest.
He ran his tongue over one of your nipples a few times before he sucked it into his mouth, gasps slipping past your lips as you tried to stay still. He gave the other side the same attention, and as good as it felt, your pussy desperately needed attention.
It was like Ethan could read your mind, his fingertips gently moving up your thigh before they reached where you needed him.
“Fuck,” you whispered as his fingers made it to your clit.
He rubbed slow circles, and you were finally starting to feel a little bit of the relief you needed. Once he added more pressure and rubbed faster, your hips were arching off the bed, your moans getting louder as he kissed down your body.
He replaced his fingers with his tongue, flicking it across your sensitive bundle of nerves before he licked fat stripes from your entrance to your clit. Your legs were tingling at that feeling alone, but once he sucked your clit into his mouth and slid two of his fingers inside your dripping pussy, you were fighting to keep your legs open for him.
He held eye contact with you as he angled his fingers just right, your brain getting cloudy as he worked you closer to your orgasm.
“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, the sound quickly becoming his new favorite as your hand ran through his curls.
The pads of his fingers pressed harder against that spongy spot inside you, your eyes fluttering closed as the coil in the pit of your stomach got tighter and tighter, so close to snapping. Once he hummed with your clit in his mouth, you felt the familiar white-hot feeling spread across your body, your thighs closing in around his head as you cried out.
He slowed his fingers a little as his mouth kept working on your clit, until you pulled away from the slight overstimulation he was giving you.
He slid his fingers out and sat up to look at you, the smile on his face showing how proud of himself he was for making you feel that good.
“I didn’t think you’d be bad at that, but I didn’t expect it to be that good,” you said, as your heavy breathing slowed.
“Well, after the head you gave me, I couldn’t disappoint you,” he said, as he moved back up to the bed to cuddle.
He laid his head on your chest as your fingers lazily ran through his curls. He wanted more, but he didn’t want to ask for it. He just wanted to be close to you at that moment. But once you asked if he had a condom, he sat up and leaned over you, reaching into the nightstand beside his bed.
Ethan moved so he was in between your legs again, sitting on his knees as he opened the condom and rolled it on. You stared at his size, a little nervous that it would hurt because he was definitely above average, and your jaw was still a little sore from sucking it, but you took a deep breath to relax before he slid his tip inside of you.
He only made it a few inches before he groaned, the tightness making his head spin.
“Your pussy is pulling me in right now,” he said, “You want it that bad, baby?”
“Yes,” you moaned, as he inched the rest of his cock inside you.
You winced a little at the burning feeling of him stretching you out, a concerned look on his face as he stared at you.
“I’m okay,” you said, “You can move.”
“You sure?” he asked, as he leaned down so his chest was pressed against yours.
“Please fuck me,” you said, before you leaned up a little, connecting your mouth to his.
He slowly slid in and out of you as you made out with him, your hands running along his bare back. Everything felt so sensual and intimate, and you swore you could feel the love radiating off him.
As he pulled away from the kiss, he softly bit your bottom lip before he sat back up on his knees, the position making it easier for him to go faster. His hands were all over you, from your legs to your chest, every touch feeling like fire against your skin.
Your bottom lip was in between your teeth, your eyebrows furrowing as he hit that spot every single time. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, a smirk playing on his lips as he thrusted faster.
“Oh my god,” you whimpered, “Feels so good.”
“You like it when I fuck your tight little pussy?” he asked, as you quickly nodded your head. “You’re taking it so well.”
Between his dirty talk and his praise, you felt your second orgasm of the night creeping up. Your hips were moving to meet his, your sounds getting louder as he kept his pace.
“I’m clo-“ was all you got out, before his hips slowed and he slid out of you. “Ethannn,” you whined, as he smiled and grabbed your hips to flip you over.
“It���s okay, baby. I’ll make you cum,” he said, as he adjusted you so your ass was sticking up in the air for him.
He gave it a smack before he slid back inside of you, a loud moan flying out of your mouth as he went faster than he had before. You were a whimpering mess, your brain turning to mush as he hit your g-spot over and over again.
Your hand snaked underneath you to rub circles on your clit as his hands tightly held your hips, pulling you back to meet every deep thrust me was giving you.
Your orgasm was right on the edge again as you tried to turn your thoughts into words, finally begging “Please don’t stop.”
You heard him grunting behind you as he kept his pace, your eyes rolling back as your entire body started to tingle.
“Cum for me,” he said, as you whimpered his name, that feeling crashing into you so hard that you felt dizzy.
Your pussy was clenching his cock so hard that he moaned out, his hips stuttering as pulled your hips back to meet his even faster.
“Gonna cum,” he rushed out, giving you a few more hard thrusts before his hips stilled.
He stayed inside of you as he caught his breath, his hand running through his sweaty hair as he smiled. Your back was still arched, your hand lazily gripping the sheets. If it wasn’t for the sight in front of him, he would’ve thought this was just a figment of his imagination. He never expected you to feel the same for him, but he was so happy that you did.
He slid out, a soft whine slipping past your lips at the empty feeling before you relaxed your hips, your body flatly laid on top of his bed. He ran his hand over your back before he leaned down, placing kisses along your shoulders and spine.
“That was amazing, babe,” you said, as he smirked against you.
“I agree,” he said, smiling as he thought about it. “Do you want to go shower? I want to cuddle, but I’m so sweaty right now.”
“Sure,” you said, as he sat up and slid off the side of his bed, before he helped you get off it.
Your legs were a little wobbly like you were taking your first steps as Ethan held onto you. He cracked open his bedroom door, listening to see if he heard anyone else in the apartment. It was silent aside from the game music still coming from the tv, but Ethan wanted to be safe.
“Chad?” he yelled, and once he didn’t get a response, he led you to the bathroom.
You leaned against the counter as he got the water temperature just right, before he walked back over to you. He held onto you as you stepped over the side of the tub before he got in, a goofy smile on his lips as he stared at you.
“How long have you had these feelings for me?” he questioned, as he grabbed the bottle of his shampoo and body wash combo off the shower rack.
You giggled to yourself as he cocked his eyebrow at you.
“A while,” you said, as he started to massage the soap into his hair. “I didn’t think you were interested in me.”
“I’ve been interested in you since the day I met you,” he admitted, as he grabbed his loofah.
You took it from his hand and put some of the body wash on it before you lathered it up and ran it across his chest.
“Why didn’t you say something?” you asked, as you maneuvered around him to wash his back.
“You make me nervous,” he said, chuckling softly. “Not in a bad way, though. You give me butterflies. And there were so many nights after we’d go out that I wanted to try to kiss you, but I was scared you wouldn’t want me to.”
He turned around to face you, a sweet smile on his lips as you stood on your tippy toes to kiss him.
“I’m happy you did tonight.”
After Ethan washed your body like you did his, you got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around yourself as Ethan wrapped his around his hips. You were so caught up in talking to each other when you walked out of the bathroom that you didn’t notice Chad walking down the hallway.
“Um,” he mumbled, as he turned around, his back facing you and Ethan as you both laughed. “I guess you told her how you feel?”
“Yep,” Ethan said, as Chad stood there, blocking the path you and Ethan needed to walk in to get back to his room. “Dude, are you going to stand there all night? I’m getting cold.”
“Sorry,” Chad said, as he stepped to the side for you and Ethan to pass him. “Congrats, by the way.”
“Thanks,” you responded, as you walked into Ethan’s room and closed the door behind you.
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obsessedwhyyes · 2 months ago
Text
A Sound Hypothesis
Part 1 of The Scientific Method series.
Summary: Inexperienced in the ways of love, you often find yourself labelled an overthinker. But then again, you are a scientist. When your incredibly beautiful travelling companion proposes a night you'll never forget, suddenly you're left wondering, are you really ready for this? Ever the scientist, you propose an experiment, and get more than you bargained for.
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4762 Pairing: Astarion x Fem!Reader Content: Act 1, smut with plot, inexperienced nerd reader, making out, oral sex (giving and receiving), hand job, cock worship, blowjob and handjob instruction (ie. Astarion teaches you how to pleasure him).
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A/N: Can't believe this got to nearly 5k words, good lord. Actual smut comes in half way through, but it's still rather spicy before then. Also, writing handjobs is hard.
The events of the night prior felt like a dream, yet you remembered each moment vividly.
“I’m beginning to like the whole package, honestly,” he had purred, “and you clearly like me too, so I was thinking…”
You looked into his eyes as he gazed confidently, hungrily into yours. There was only him in this moment. Well, him and the quickened pulse of your heart pounding in your ears. You were certain he could hear it.
“We could take an evening to ourselves. Get to know each other a little more intimately.”
But you were struck with a hit of nerves then. You had lived a sheltered life before your abduction. A wizard and a scholar, your pursuits had been in the sciences and that of perfecting your craft, rather than in stolen moments of lust with beautiful strangers. Not to say you hadn’t experienced a few stolen kisses, however. But to give oneself entirely to another - that was a very different, much more intimidating affair. Yet there was no denying the spark that flickered between the two of you as you spent your days and evenings together, and that spark ignited a growing ache within you that lingered each night you retreated to your bedroll.
“I want to, Astarion. Gods, I really want to, but I’m…”
You hesitated and tore your eyes from him; fiddled with your fingers for a moment.
“You’ve never done this before,” he finished, causing you to look up suddenly from your busying hands.
“I had my suspicions. I’d have already bedded you twice over otherwise.”
You could only laugh, not only at the sheer audacity of his remark, but because of course he knew. Gods, he could probably smell the inexperience on you from a mile away.
“It’s your decision, of course. Should you wish to keep things light between us, we’ll end our evenings together as friends. If you decide you want a little more, however–”
He stepped closer to you - close enough to feel his cool breath on your skin and smell the freshness of his cologne.
“I’ll give you a night you’ll never forget.”
He brushed a strand of hair from your face, his hand lingering delicately where your neck meets the line of your jaw. He was playing you like a fiddle, and you knew it. But gods, if his tune wasn’t a siren’s song in the night. You wanted nothing more than to dance to it.
And then he kissed you.
Gods, the way he kissed you.
There was need, yes; a hunger not unknown to you even in your limited experience. But it was a hunger wrapped in a velvet blanket of familiarity, as though he had known your lips as long as his own. He was certainly skilled, there was no denying that.
The chill of the night air felt like a splash of cold water to your senses once his lips left yours, and you found yourself mourning the loss of his touch.
“Think about it,” he had said that night, before retreating back to his tent.
And here you are, wrapped in your bedroll, thinking about it. Ceaselessly.
About his voice, laced with the sweetest honey, speaking promises of nights wanton and dripping with ecstasy. About his smile, teasing and rakish, and the feel of his lips against yours which you missed like home.
You think about the times you let him feed from you; the gentle way he held you, one hand cradling your head. The soft, pleasured noises that would rumble from his chest as he grazed over the soft flesh of your throat - and sunk his teeth into it. Then, greedy, he would begin to pull you close, your chest flush against his own. Every time he fed, it was as though the gates holding back the flood of every primal vampiric instinct within him were unleashed at the taste of you; the ambrosia that is your life essence which you willingly gift to him. And every time he fed, before you reached the point of no return, you would break him out of his trance - a simple series of taps on his shoulder - and he would release you from his predatorial embrace.
It was in those moments, you would see the look in his eyes: ravenous, pupils blown, boring down into you as you lay there beneath him, vulnerable. Your gazes would linger and gods, how you imagined what it would feel like to be entangled with him; for him to take his pleasure from you.
No, you tell yourself. This has been going so fast. Your time together has been so short in the grand scheme of things yet, with the threat of ceremorphosis looming over you, your time on this mortal plane may be fleeting. One might argue that now is surely the time to experience that which you have not… isn’t it? 
But what if this isn’t what you actually want and this aching need within you is simply a manifestation of the stress your increasingly bizarre situation has brought you? It is not unknown for one to develop bouts of hypersexuality in times of stress, or so you have read in books detailing such occurrences.
Suddenly, an idea presents itself. A scientist such as yourself requires a chance to gather all available evidence before coming to a conclusion. A little experimentation, perhaps. Then, you’ll know for certain if your attraction runs deeper than you give your body credit for. Your honed mind will not be governed by a set of primitive bodily urges - you’re better than that. You won’t allow it.
For now, sleep beckons. Tomorrow, you shall put your idea into practice.
– 
The next day passes as swiftly as you had hoped. You’re eager to welcome the night. You and your companions had seemingly settled into a predictable routine when it came to your evening endeavours: your fellow wizard and friendly rival, Gale, would slave over the cook pot with the limited items you had procured over your journey, while the Blade of Frontiers himself regaled your group with stories of his adventures, punctuated with commentary from your remaining companions, ranging from crude to complimentary. Food would be eaten and domestic duties fulfilled, after which, everyone would begin their journeys to their bedrolls. Well, everyone bar you and Astarion. As the resident elves, you require far less rest than that of your travelling companions. It was in these moments, where the camp lay dormant and the two of you sit against a fallen log by the campfire, that you had developed something resembling a rapport with Astarion. You have become rather fond of your night time talks.
Tonight, however, you have plans beyond repartee.
You feel emboldened by your plan. Where before, you were thrown into territory unknown, unprepared and anxious, now you have the comfort of scientific method on your side. You know exactly what to say - you’ve thought of every possibility after all.
Sitting side-by-side, you turn to him, determined.
“I was thinking about your little proposition last night.”
“Were you now?” Astarion replies with a smirk on his lips and a gleam in his eyes.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself just yet. I always imagined that the first time I, um…”
“Did the horizontal dance with an esteemed companion? Engaged in amorous congress? Fucked?”
“Had sex,” you quickly correct, halting his attempts to fluster you further. “I always imagined the first time I had sex would be under slightly less unusual circumstances. We’ve been under nothing but stress ever since we got off that damned Nautiloid. I can’t tell if this desire I’m feeling is because I truly want to spend the night with you, or because my body just wants a distraction.”
“Is that such a bad thing? We’ve worms in our brains and danger is lurking around every corner. Our time is short, darling. If I can provide our dear leader a little respite in these tumultuous times; offer up my services in her time of need, that sounds like time well spent, does it not?”
He shuffles closer to you, resting his arm behind you on the log which you both lean against.
“Besides,” he continues, his voice low and close to your ear, “you’ve been so good to me, offering up your neck for me to savour. It’s only fitting that I offer you a little distraction in return.”
“I don’t want to just… use you as a distraction, Astarion. Gods, I offered you my blood because I wanted to help you, not because I expected a favour.”
For a fleeting moment, his expression shifts. And just as quickly, his smirk returns, embodying a practised sultriness that has surely wrapped many a soul around his fingers.
“No,” you continue, “if I have sex, it will be because it’s something I truly want to do; that I’m ready for. Not just a fanciful distraction. I hope you feel the same.”
That expression again, barely noticeable. You can’t quite decipher it.
“So, darling,” he purrs, “what do you suggest?”
“I was wondering if I could kiss you.”
“Ha! Can’t get enough, eh?”
“I just think that, with a little more evidence, I might be able to see if this is something I’m truly ready for; to discern whether this desire is real, or simply a physical response to this gods-awful situation we find ourselves in.”
He laughs, seemingly amused by your reasoning, and your heart flutters at the sound. Unexpected.
“Gods, are you always such an overthinker?”
“I just think it would help me come to a decision.”
“Is that what this is then? Your little experiment?”
“I’m nothing if not a scientist,” you tease back.
“Alright, my dear. Your terms are acceptable. A kiss, for scientific reasons, of course.”
Of course, you say to yourself. That… is what this is, isn’t it? Simple evidence gathering?
You have no time to consider this as Astarion places a finger under your chin, lifting your gaze fully to his, and suddenly, you hear your pulse pounding loudly in your ears once more. Gods, his eyes are beautiful.
An easy smile, a tilt of his head, and he presses his lips to yours, delicate and familiar. He’s gentle, at first: his lips linger on yours a moment before kissing you again, a tender sensation. As you close your eyes and immerse yourself in the feeling, the world around you quietens. No longer do you hear the crackling of the fire as it dies, the chirps of insects, or the rustle of leaves in the breeze. 
At this moment, all you know is him.
You succumb to the coolness of his touch, the smoothness of his skin, the freshness of his scent - sensations so overwhelming that your body responds of its own accord, letting free a soft moan into his mouth.
As though in response, Astarion’s hand lowers from your cheek and trails from your neck, your shoulder, to your waist, as though committing each dip of your body to memory, before pulling you closer to him. Your hands, in return, plant themselves against his chest. His body feels hard and angular against the softness of your own.
As his tongue seeks permission to dance with yours, there is a hunger; a fieriness that threatens to engulf you. The kiss deepens, and you realise with a start that your legs have entangled themselves with his.
Pull yourself together, your mind screams. You’re meant to be in control of your body, not the other way around.
Or so you think, when suddenly, Astarion’s hand moves to your arse - the cheeky sod - and he skillfully, seamlessly rolls you onto his lap, taking advantage of your entangled legs, purposefully positioning you so that you’re straddling him.
Shit.
You gasp. You had forgotten to breathe. He notices and, gods, the smug look on his face. He knows he’s taken you off guard, and worse still…
He knows the effect he’s having on you.
The wall you had carefully constructed between your mind and body begins to collapse, brick by brick. As you kiss, the final fragments fall away, and everything that was once separated threatens to come together in a powerful, unified surge of desire if not for the final threads of your self-restraint.
His body desires this as much as yours, it would seem. As you straddle him, his hands caressing you as they drag up and down your back, you notice a distinct hardness digging into you, oh so close to your core. It takes more willpower than you’ve ever known to not grind into that hardness, seeking the release which you ache for. You are a tautly drawn bow, the tension between your mental focus and physical yearning almost unbearable.
Noticing how stiff you become, Astarion retreats from your lips, tilting his head in playful curiosity.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, darling?”
“I… I…” You barely recognise your own voice as it strains to come out of you.
The bowstring snaps.
You yield.
Your mind and body merge into a mess of lust and desire, and you kiss him hard and greedily. He returns the enthusiasm in kind, releasing a groan into your mouth as he does so. You want this. You want him.
Astarion pulls himself from your lips and turns his attentions to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses where, other nights, he had sunk his fangs. As he does so, you hear his voice, husky in lust.
“You know, if you still need a little more “experimentation,” I have a couple more ideas for you…”
His voice gives you goosebumps.
“... I’m particularly skilled with my tongue, after all.”
You nod.
“Your tent or mine?”
As you’re pushed against the bedroll within the privacy of your tent, you’re overwhelmed by a desire to feel every inch of Astarion’s cool, hard body on yours. It was such a primal need, to be enveloped by him; an urge beyond anything you’ve experienced, causing you to wrap your arms greedily behind his neck as you kiss each other, pulling him closer, but never close enough. His hips grind against you slowly, deliberately, granting you a brief, delicious friction which sends shivers up your body and fuels the incredible ache between your legs.
Astarion sits back up on his knees, admiring the mess of you, a smile on his pretty lips. You can only imagine the state you must be in: hair wild, eyes wide and hungry, clothes dishevelled. But your appearance is a distant notion in the back of your mind as Astarion lifts the hem of your skirt and removes your undergarments, sopping wet from your arousal.
You feel vulnerable, exposed to him like this, your desire on full display in front of the very man who you spent nights dreaming about. While his lustful gaze lights a flush of red across your cheeks, it doesn’t cause you to recoil; instead, you find yourself emboldened as he lowers himself between your legs, holding your gaze with eyes hungry and hooded.
He drags his lips up your thighs, leaving kisses so teasing that brings forth the neediest of sounds from your chest. When he reaches your core, he slides a tongue up the slit of you, agonisingly slowly, painfully gently.
Head rolling back, you anticipate the feeling of his tongue within you, but then…
He diverts his attention back to your thighs.
Bastard.
“Astarion..!”
“Eager little pup, aren’t you? Don’t you worry, darling - you’ll get what you desire. Once I have my fun with you, of course.”
He shifts, propping your legs over his shoulders as he grants you an audacious glance and grazes his tongue over you once more, sending a wave of tingles radiating across your body.
You begin to pout at his teasing action, and–
His tongue enters you.
He glides it firmly from your entrance to your clit, lapping you up in one motion, releasing the most wondrous groan, as though the nectar of your arousal is sweeter than any honey.
And so, like a man starved, he devours you, gauging quickly the sensations you prefer, alternating skillfully between firm strokes of his tongue, and the most teasing of flickers across your clit.
Your back arches, and you can do nothing but grasp at the edges of your bedroll as he works at you, leaving you in a state so blissful that you don’t notice the wanton sounds being cried from your lips.
“Easy, love,” he purrs, the loss of his tongue against you causing you to whimper. “As much as I enjoy hearing those delectable sounds of yours, let’s not wake the others, hm?”
You can only cover your mouth with your hands in a feeble attempt to hush yourself as he continues his ministrations. As your eyes meet and the pleasant ache in your core begins to swell into an all-encompassing warmth across your body, you wonder if this is what it feels to be revered as a deity would, your every sensation treated with the kind of awe that only a god might know.
It is when he enters you with his fingers - first one, then two, thrusting in rhythm with his tongue - that the warmth, now an inferno, reaches its peak. It surges through you like a divine crescendo, each wave of your climax a new blessing that floods your senses with a celestial rapture, singing his name like the sweetest hymn.
He caresses your thighs as he brings you down slowly from your high, grounding you.
As you return once again to this mortal plane, the lingering euphoria elicits a fit of giggles from you.
“Well,” Astarion smiles in return, removing himself from the home he has made between your legs, “you certainly seemed to enjoy yourself.”
“I did. I really did. Thank you.”
As you both sit yourselves upright once more, he presses another kiss to your lips. You taste yourself on him.
“I hope our little experiment was very informative for you,” he says with a wink. His words are teasing, but spoken with a gentleness that surprises you.
The truth is, you do have one more idea.
“Can I, um… Can I do the same for you?”
“What?” He says a little too quickly. Noticing this, he brushes his hair back with his hand to a more presentable condition, regains his composure, and continues. “I mean, you don’t have to. To see you squirm under my touch, that’s pleasure enough for me.”
“I want to make you feel good too.”
“You want to?”
That same indecipherable expression. A man with as many notches on his bedpost as he claims must have had some less than favourable conquests every now and then… Perhaps he’s had some bad experiences when receiving too? You suddenly find yourself cursing your lack of experience in these matters. You’re not exactly brimming with social expertise either.
“I probably won’t be the best - not as good as you - but I want to try. I always find that the best way to develop one’s skills is to practise under the guidance of a trusted expert. So… could you teach me how to make you feel good?”
Your gazes linger for a moment as he seems to assess your resolve.
Seemingly satisfied, he smirks, a well-practised aura of sultriness fitting back into place once more. All traces of that mysterious expression dissipate before your eyes.
“Well, darling, if you’re so eager to please me, who am I to stop you?”
You slide up to sit next to him as he begins to unlace his trousers, and suddenly you find yourself unsure of where to look. You’ve a scholar’s knowledge of the physical form; men’s anatomy is no stranger to you from an analytical perspective. And yes, you’ve fantasised about Astarion’s… parts before, as much as you have tried to deceive yourself into believing it was nothing more than a passing, intrusive thought. Yet, now that you’re here, about to perform the most intimate of acts to your beautiful travelling companion for the first time, you become bashful. You can’t quite believe the situation you’ve gotten yourself into tonight.
Yet, as he lowers his trousers and underwear to his thighs, revealing himself to you, all thoughts of bashfulness, of anxiety, cease to be for a moment.
“Hells, Astarion.” You look upon his hardened member with disbelief, measuring its girth against your arm. “How is that going to fit inside me, exactly?”
A slip of the tongue.
He grins, very pleased with himself. “Getting ahead of ourselves, are we?”
… And there returns that familiar flush of heat to your cheeks. Shit.
His chuckling lets you know that he has, in fact, noticed your embarrassment.
Seeking to swiftly change the subject to the much more pressing matter at hand, you ask, “can I touch you?”
In wordless agreement, Astarion guides your hand to his cock, which glistens slightly from the beads of precum elicited from the head. As you hold it, his hand remains over yours, coaxing you to move up and down the shaft.
His cock isn’t warm as you would imagine a regular man’s to be, owing to his vampiric nature, but you note its hardness; the way it pulses beneath your touch; the way his foreskin glides over the head so seamlessly. You squeeze him, fascinated.
“Gently, love. Like this.” He demonstrates by applying a light pressure to your hand and twisting ever so slightly as you both reach the tip, then loosening his grip as he slides you back down his length. You repeat the motion, tentatively. Gods, you hope you're doing this right. He made you feel incredible. You want him to feel incredible too. But oh, what if you hurt him, what if you–
“A-ah…”
The softest sigh of pleasure from your companion interrupts your thoughts. It sends wonderful shivers throughout your body. You find yourself eager to coax more of those little sounds from him.
A newfound confidence flares within you, and you gradually increase your pace, up and down and up and down the shaft, squeezing and twisting lightly as your beautiful instructor taught. In a sudden bout of curiosity, you glide your thumb over the head on your way back down and–
“Ah!”
There it is again. That most delicious sound.
“Exactly like that, darling. Exactly like that.”
He removes his hand from yours as you continue to pump him - you are a fast learner, it would seem - and moves it to reach your cheek, turning you to face him. As he leans his forehead against yours, you notice his breathing has become heavier, just ever so slightly. Instinctively, your breathing begins to match his, and you feel an intensity in the air that gives you goosebumps. Then he kisses you, and it is hungry. Ravenous. Greedy. His hand moves from your cheek to the back of your head, gripping your hair lightly, pressing your lips firmly against his.
As you continue to pleasure him, you find yourself becoming greedy too.
You want to taste him.
Between gasps for air, you ask him, “can I use my mouth on you? The way you did for me?”
“Mmhm,” he says into your kiss. It feels almost a shame to remove yourself from his lips, but you have greater plans yet. 
You both reposition yourselves. He turns to lie himself back on the bedroll, and you crawl down his body to position yourself between his legs. So close to his cock, you find yourself admiring it, taking in every detail: the thick vein on the underside of the shaft, the way the head throbs a colour darker than the rest, eager for release.
You're overwhelmed with a primal desire - a need - to please, to give.
To worship.
“Gods, it's beautiful,” you think aloud.
“I know,” he remarks confidently in return. You roll your eyes at his arrogance, but in this moment, in your eyes, even you can't deny that his cock is perfection. Your mouth waters at what is to come.
You hold his member delicately, like a jewel most precious, planting kisses up his length. A soft sound escapes from Astarion’s lips and suddenly you are emboldened, determined to gift him with bliss as he had gifted you. To do so, however, you would need a little instruction.
“Tell me how to please you,” you plead, and you feel him twitch at your words.
“You are eager,” he purrs, propping himself up with his hands to gaze down at you. You notice a shiver and a sigh, ever so slight, when you trail a line of wetness from base to tip with your tongue.
“In that case,” he continues, brushing a strand of hair from your face, granting him a better view of you, “lick your lips and hold it at the base. Then I want you to get to know it a little, so to speak. Use your mouth around the head and start slowly - there's no point in rushing in, eh?”
You obey, shaking off the lingering feelings of bashfulness at the directness of his words, and wrap your lips around him. Out of curiosity, you swirl a flattened tongue around the head and gods, his skin is so smooth, still slightly salty from precum. His cock twitches and you hear him gasp above you - he’s especially sensitive there, it would seem. 
Where are his other sensitive spots, you wonder.
Time to experiment. You are nothing if not a scientist.
You bob your head and relax your jaw to the best of your abilities, taking in just a little bit more of him each time your mouth glides up and down, keeping your tongue flat against him to flick against the sensitive tip each time you glide back up the length. The sounds he makes - oh, those sounds. His moans are like velvet, a soft, deep timbre that caresses your senses and makes your loins ache once more. Every murmur seeps into your being, igniting your senses and fuelling your need to explore every inch of him. You continue your journey down and down his length, savouring the taste and the texture and–
You gag as his cock touches your throat.
Astarion recomposes himself. “Easy, darling. Use your hand where your mouth can’t reach.”
“Like this?” Your hand pumps the shaft in rhythm with the motions of your mouth and tongue, and Astarion’s head rolls back for a moment.
“Like that,” he exhales heavily, “and suck gently.”
There’s a certain sense of empowerment, unravelling him like this. You relish in every moan that escapes his lips, every twitch and pulse of his cock as you attend to him. The lewd, wet sounds emitted as your hollowed cheeks suck his length. His hand finds its way to your hair, fingers weaving through the strands with a gentle authority, pushing you hard enough to guide you to an ever-quickening rhythm, but gentle enough not to force himself down your throat.
“Use your other hand,” he says between breaths, “hold the balls softly.”
You do as he says, giving them the gentlest of squeezes as you attend to him, and his breaths grow deeper, uneven. You sense the rising tension in him, a tide gathering strength beneath the surface.
He gives one final instruction.
“Look at me.”
Your eyes meet with a stormy intensity and, as you pump up and down with your lips and fingers at a dizzying pace, the intensity seems to surge through him with the force of an ocean swell, powerful and all-encompassing.
With a tremor and a groan so delicious that you find yourself moaning instinctively in response, his cum fills your mouth. Your eyes water, taken by surprise by the force of his release, but you do your best to swallow each wave, releasing him with a wet pop as his climax subsides.
Some moments pass and, in the afterglow, the tent is filled with a comfortable, profound stillness, and only the sounds of heavy breathing - yours and his - as you both return to your senses.
“Did you just..?” He asks, breaking the silence.
“I did,” you reply with a grin, showing him your tongue to reveal that not a drop went to waste.
He laughs warmly, and your heart flutters.
“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” He kisses you deeply as he sits up, seemingly undeterred by the taste of himself.
“I think I’ve gathered enough evidence to consider your proposition,” you say teasingly.
“Tomorrow night then, darling?”
Bastard.
But yes, you think to yourself. Tomorrow night. You’re ready.
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Part 2, An Empirical Study, can be found here!
Masterlist can be found here.
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peanutpinet · 2 months ago
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Little Things - Sylus x Isekai Fem Reader
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Summary: When your consciousness somehow ended up in the LADS MC’s body right as Sylus’ character was released. You went through what the MC was supposed to do in the game and while waiting for the next update, you’ve gotten closer to Sylus that he treats you with everything you couldn’t have in your world
A/N: I can’t help but make a fic where you took over the MC’s body and became the MC. Though in this fic, Sylus already knows that you’re not exactly the MC yet he’s also not complaining about your company and even started to open up to you and even allow you to use his money but he’s confused as to why you’re not spending as much as he thought
I was inspired by a fic that I read on Tumblr by @atoltia
Sequel: Welcome to My World
Disclaimer: I do not own the images nor the characters or you (the MC). All images were taken from Pinterest.
Warning: will be using MC instead of (Y/N) as it’s easier for me, fluff, slight angst (no character death), overthinker MC, soft Sylus
“You go talk to him” Luke nudged his twin brother who stared back at him thinking that he was crazy
“Are you crazy? I’m not talking to him. Have you seen how he’s been the past few weeks? He’s been on his phone, checking something out almost every day unless he’s with MC” Kieran replied back as both he and Luke were eyeing Sylus who was in his study, wearing some comfortable clothing and glasses while scrolling through his phone
“Do you think that he’s planning to do something for MC? Like maybe propose to her? I mean. ever since their first meeting, he’s been different? More attentive towards MC. He even gave her the brooch which is the direct access to the N109 zone. He even let her drive his cars and do whatever she wanted with the place though I like her style. It feels more homey nowadays” Luke pointed out and Kieran agreed with his twin
The twins kept on talking in front of the study room until Sylus had it and called the twins inside. “I know you both are out there. Either come in and report what you want to report or leave before I stop letting either of you peek around”
Immediately, the twins walked into the study where they saw their boss still not looking up from his phone. The twins looked at each other before agreeing to speak at the same time.
“We cleaned up at the next like you said” Kieran mentioned
“Are you going to propose to MC?” Luke mentioned
The twins looked at each other, confused that their twin telepathy was not working when they needed it. Hearing a grunt, the twins immediately apologised and begged Sylus to not hurt them or worse; make them clean the entire penthouse.
“What Luke meant was how is MC?” Kieran quickly changed his twin’s wording
“Yea. That’s what I meant. I mean, you seem to be glued to your phone boss. We assume that it’s because of MC so we were wondering if anything happened to her or if you need us to watch her?” Luke added on
“Actually, perhaps you can watch her for me” Sylus mentioned and the twins sighed of relief until they heard the next words come out of Sylus’ mouth. “I’d like to know why isn’t she using my card like I expected her to”
The twins looked at each other, confused once more. “What do you mean she’s not using your card, sir?” Kieran asked
“Do you think she lost it? Or perhaps she gave it to someone and that’s why her spending is crazy” Luke added on and for the first time, the twins saw their boss put his phone down only to open up several holographic files; specifically transactions from his card
“No. It’s quite the opposite actually. She has my card. She uses it but not as much as I thought. She’s only spending on the daily necessities and occasionally a book or two. Never any jewellery, any new clothing. She only bought one hairdryer set and never any other hair tools except a brush and clips and even those are cheap. The most she spent was just a water dispenser and an air fryer. What, does she think that she’s being stingy if she were to spend a lot of my money? Or perhaps she wants to seem more independent? What if she thinks that I’m in debt?” Sylus kept going on until the twins stopped him
“Uh, boss. I don’t think it’s any of those reasons” Luke mentioned, catching Sylus’ attention. “What do you mean, Luke?”
“I mean. I’ve, we’ve, talked to her sometimes and she just mentioned that she doesn’t know what to use all the money for. I don’t think that she thinks you’re in debt or feel bad about using your money. It’s just that she’s not used to it. Not used to having a lot of money that she’s overwhelmed?” Luke explained while Sylus had a deep thought
“Overwhelmed? It’s the first I heard of this. You would think that when someone has this amount of money in the palm of their hands, they would go crazy almost immediately” Sylus replied
“Well, she’s not like most people, sir” Luke added on and that’s what got Sylus to get up from his study room and go to find MC
Sylus looked around for you in the penthouse from the kitchen, living room, the guest bedroom where you typically like to be when you’re alone, and finally, his bedroom which is practically your shared bedroom ever since an incident that happened early in your meeting together.
As he was walking towards the master bedroom, Sylus could hear some music playing. Slowly opening the door to the room, Sylus peeked in and saw your small figure on the bed, humming to the music that was playing from your phone at the same time doing something.
Smiling to himself, Sylus decided to lean by the door as he made himself noticed by you. “Sweetie, what are you doing in here all alone?”
Looking up from your hands, you looked at Sylus who put on that soft smile only for you. “Hi Sy. I’m just trying to stitch up a T-shirt of mine. I’m almost done. Do you need help to make dinner?” you asked, finishing up the T-shirt you were stitching as Sylus made his way towards you
“No. I’ve decided to order in for tonight. I got your favourites” Sylus mentioned as you hummed
“There we go. Finally done. So, dinner?” you mentioned, placing down the T-shirt you were sewing which made Sylus chuckled
“It’s on its way, sweetheart. Which means…” Sylus grabbed your hand and yanked you towards him, laying down on the bed together as he held you close. “We have a bit of time to ourselves before dinner comes”
Giggling at his clingy behaviour, you accepted defeat that you couldn’t fight him on this and just leaned your head to his chest, listening to his slightly abnormal fast heartbeat while feeling Sylus’ fingers going through your hair.
“Sweetie…” Sylus called you while you hummed, feeling a bit drowsy
“Why do you work so hard to sew your T-shirt when you could’ve bought a new one? You know that I can find someone to make the exact same one with the same materials and everything” Sylus mentioned
“I know” you answered, drawing circles on Sylus’ chest while continuing. “I know that you could most probably buy anything I want and more. But while all that sounds good, it’s the little things, the memories that come with what I have now that matter”
“Is that so?” Sylus asked, as if he was still unsure of your answer and the tone he used made you look up at him. “Is there something wrong with my answer? Was it not what you expected? Along with how I’ve been using your card?” you asked back which made Sylus chuckle
“You know me so well, don’t you kitten?” Sylus chuckled, caressing your cheek with his large hands now making you giggle
“I mean, I’ve been observing you longer than you observing me. But you should know, I’m more than grateful for you giving me your card. It’s an incredible privilege and it makes me know how much trust you have in me. Though, I don’t need all that when I can do all the little things with you. Even as simple as cleaning together or moments like right now is what I cherish the most” you mentioned and using his hand that was on your cheek, Sylus gently lifted your face as he gave your lips one of the softest kisses you ever had whilst caressing your cheek at the same time
Pulling away, you were met with Sylus’ soft gaze and smile once again and instantly felt the heat rush to your cheeks as you questioned him. “W-what’s with the sudden affection”
Smirking, Sylus pulled your smaller body with him as he sat on the bed, leaning at the headboard. “Why not? You said you cherish the little things and moments. If you won’t accept being spoiled by my wealth then I might as well spoil you with what you actually want, isn’t that right?”
Hearing those words out of his mouth made your head feel light. Throughout your life back home, you rarely get any affection from those close to you; resulting in indulging yourself with what used to be a “silly game” until you somehow ended up in the silly game yourself.
You closed your eyes, worried that water that was building in your eyes would spill because of the constant worry and thought that this was all just a dream. Noticing your quiet self, Sylus grew worried and cupped your face with both his hands and saw that a tear managed to slip out of your eye. “Sweetie? What’s wrong? Was I pressuring you?”
Shaking your head, you managed to reply to him. “No. You’re not. It’s just…I’m, I worry”
“Worry? About what sweetheart? Take your time. I got you” Sylus replied
“I…you know I don’t belong here and yet you still spoil me. What if one day, I somehow wake up and I’m back in my own world? What if one day when you wake up, it’s who you were supposed to meet that greets you? What if…” Sylus didn’t let you continue as he immediately kissed you once again, though this time was slightly rough with a sense of urgency
“I don’t want any what ifs, kitten. You’re here. In my arms. My lips are on yours. Your body might be someone else’s but your soul is what I care more about. Even if one day you go back. I’ll find a way. Against all odds, I’ll find a way back to you even if it’s against the universe” Sylus stated, his grip on your face getting a bit tighter as if he was afraid that you’d slip away
“Sylus…” you softly called him, holding his hand that was on your face when Sylus grabbed your hand, interlacing your fingers together
“You feel this? It’s real. Just like me. Just like right now. So stop saying these things or do you need me to show you how real this is?” Sylus mentioned, his tone was a bit harsh but soft at the same time
“You’re crazy you know that. Defying the universe to go to another” you pouted but it successfully made Sylus chuckle
“I am. I would do that you know” Sylus took your hand and kissed the knuckles. “I’d do whatever it takes to find you”
“But you don’t know what I actually look like” you argued
“I know your name, your age, how you act” Sylus replies, making you chuckle
“You really are a stubborn crow, aren’t you?” you teased and Sylus leaned down to kiss your forehead. “Only for you, sweetie”
“Come. Dinner should be arriving. We can put on that show you’ve been wanting to watch. Or we can do something else” Sylus mentioned, picking you up so suddenly that you immediately wrapped your arms around his neck
“Can we just chill on the sofa with some chill movie and cuddle?” you asked
Smiling, Sylus kissed you again. “Anything you want, sweetie. We’re making the most together and appreciating all the little things, remember?”
Sylus then brought the two of you to the living room where he let you turn on the TV and ate dinner together, wrapping a blanket around the two of you as you both enjoyed the rest of the night basking in each other’s embrace and enjoying these small intimate moments together.
A/N: OMG thank you so much to everyone who has been reading, liking, and reblogging my Sylus fics T^T I truly did not expect so many people enjoy my writing especially the fact that I'm new to the LADS space. If anyone wants to be mutuals on the game, do message me!! Otherwise, thank you for reading and hope this fic managed to brighten your day!! xoxo peanutwott
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mygnolia · 4 months ago
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to weave my love ⭒ n. riki [TEASER]
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⭒ SYNOPSIS -› Riki is good at many things- dancing, making fun of his friends, playing it cool (debatable.), Hell- he’s even good at saving people from falling buildings without getting whiplash. But the things he’s bad at? Well, it’s asking you out to prom, and trying to balance the shared assignment he has with you…while being Spider-man.
⭒ PAIR -› spiderman!nishimura riki x fem-pres!reader
⭒ GENRE -› fluff, banter, comfort ⭒ TROPES -› classmates to lovers, idiots to lovers ⭒ WC -› 6-10k (est.)
⭒ RELEASE DATE -› IT'S HEREEEEEEEE YAYYYY
⭒ REN SAYS... spiderman niki is a need hes so cute i love riki sm 😕🫵 also poll voted for this and tbh i just wanna write downbad riki LOLZ | LIBRARY
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“God, I don’t think you can look at her any more down bad than you already do right now.” Jake picks at his food, and despite his concentration directed towards the olives on his pizza, he’s able to dodge the flying loaded nacho that goes his way, even if he wasn’t the one with superpowers.
“Can you shut up?” Riki grumbles, laying his head on his arms as he watches you smile and point to something. “I just got pummeled into a semi truck last night. Let me have this before I die in a week.”
“Very grim,” his friend notes, ruffling the younger’s hair. “I think this is exactly what all of those mental health assemblies that we get are for.” And Riki basically tunes him out, too tired to fight and too used to the teasing remarks to come up with anything useful in response.
Riki sits up a bit, letting his head rest on his propped elbow as he looks at the school food and touches another nacho gingerly. “Y’know, I read the book for English so she wouldn’t think I’m an idiot.”
His friend snickers, successfully pulling out yet another sliced olive from the cheese, much to the disgust of Riki. “She probably already thinks you’re an idiot.”
The superhero debates throwing another cheesy nacho in Jake's face, before deciding to eat it instead. “Don’t say that asshole! You make it seem like I have no chance with her.”
Jake shoots him an exasperated look that makes Riki break eye contact. “That’s because you don’t.”
“I’ll prove to her that I’m worth her time.” Riki says somewhat wistfully, still stealing glances from a few tables away. “Maybe I’ll ask her out to prom, show up to her balcony in my suit. Do that cheesy upside kiss shit people say Spiderman does.” When his friend raises an eyebrow at him, Riki shrugs. “I will! Well-maybe not the Spiderman thing, but prom definitely.”
Jake continues to look at him unconvinced as he takes a bite out of a slice of pizza with mangled cheese. “You barely talk to her in class and you think you can ask her out to prom as Nishimura Riki?” And the younger grins, his eyes still stuck on how your eyes crinkle and how your shoulders shake with laughter.
“Yup.” And his fate is sealed, just like that.
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“Are you going to prom, Riki?” Is the first thing you ask when he sits down, grabbing his book and laptop with a little too much enthusiasm.
“I’m thinking about it.” Yeah- whatever confidence he had 37 minutes ago really isn’t serving him well in this moment, because frankly, Riki feels lame as ever trying to be nonchalant around you. “You?”
“I’d have to set up, so I would be there, yes. But whether or not I have a date is another story.” You smile to lighten the mood, but Riki watches you and nods, focusing back on signing into his laptop and getting his notes.
“Well, you’re not the only single one here.” And he wants to reprimand himself for saying something without thinking. “If someone asked, would you say yes?”
You think about it, really- because you don’t really have anyone in mind when it comes to prom if Riki’s not planning on going. “It’d have to someone I know- someone I talk to somewhat regularly. I’d be nice to be with someone who doesn’t make it awkward.”
Nishimura Riki might die from overthinking if he keeps wondering whether or not he fits that description to a tee.
RIKI'S TO-DO LIST BEFORE PROM ☐ talk to ____ regularly ☐ don't make it awkward ☐ be..cute?
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THERE IS NO OFFICIAL TAGLIST FOR THIS FIC, join my perm taglist to be notified when this fic comes out!
if you’d like to proofread this, i’d love for someone to join my chaotic half done doc and offer some feedback/advice!
permanent fic taglist (send ask to be added) : @dimplewonie @minleeeknow @heeheesang @mintpjzroll @llvrhee @firstclassjaylee @in-somnias-world @rairaiblog
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successfulgoddess333 · 9 days ago
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IDK WHAT TO TITLE THIS??? Just read
I think by creating countless amounts of posts to help people reach the state of shifting or enter the void state is low key pointless
Because why do I have to continue to tell you
A bunch of people I’ll never actually talk to
Irl
How to do something we were all created and born TO DO??
You’re just read this and then proceed to not do it anyway
The reason you’re on here is actually why you “can’t do it”
It’s not that you can’t
You won’t
Because you’re procrastinating but not only are you procrastinating you’re also
Trying to figure out how to do something
You’ve always known what to do
I read somewhere some ppl can’t enter the void
Because it was scientifically proven that we all have different parts of brains that’ll allow it or something I don’t remember but google it
I think that’s weird
Because the void state is literally conscious
Every single human being has consciousness
And we can all access it through meditation hypnosis etc
Why some ppl enter it more easily
Is because they don’t overthink it most ppl look at it as a “oooh I wanna try it”
When you’re excited to try something you don’t over complicate it or assume it’s not gonna work
Even if you do you’re still too excited to try it to care
it’s important that if you’ve already discovered the loa void state and shifting
You should continue to believe in it
But the actions matter just as much as the intentions
Your actions shouldn’t be wavering like
Is it real?
But then saying you believe it is
Figure it out
Do you believe in it or not?
Stop confusing your subconscious mind
Now back to what I was saying earlier
You keep treating it like a chore or a job
When you finally lay down to meditate you think
“What’s takin so long?”
Babe
Your impatience is the reason you’re not getting it
The whole point is for relaxation but since you’ve all put it on a pedestal
With the manifesting
You act as if
It’s a wish granter
It’s not
You are the reason you get your desire
You could get in the void rn but you’d only get your desires if YOU say your affirmations
Stop
Waiting to enter the void
If you have this mindset it’s not gone happen
Think of it as a
You’re setting the intention and just vibing
That’s why my method with the music works so well
Because I don’t overthink with music on
Music keeps me awake mentally and certain songs keep me relaxed physically
Plus it’s a good energy then just depending on a subliminal or something
It’s not doing it for you
My method plus ppl on here literally getting in the void
With no background noise is proof that subliminals are just guiding you to a destination you were already going to reach on your own
So what to take from this post
1. Stop depending on subliminals it’s fine to use them but thinking it’s gonna get your results is putting power into something that isn’t as powerful as you
2. Procrastination is going to be the cost of a life you could be living The more you linger on this looking for the answers you already know the longer you’ll be living in a world you are desperately trying to escape from congrats you’ve got a Dr you can daydream and escape this reality mentally but what’s the fun in that? That life you keep fantasizing is real and the universe knows how bad you want it so why fantasize? Go there
3. Why are you wondering how ppl get in the void easily? Simply just stop thinking about it so much literally just meditate think affirm whatever don’t even think of the void but still have that intention in your mind you wanna move your body? Why? You hate this reality you wanna block out all the physicality it actually feels so good to just be in a moment of peace I’m telling y’all the key to entering the void shifting etc other OOB experiences is literally just stop paying attention
You know so many ppl with adhd
Or other neurodivergent disorders think it’s so difficult to focus
But I remember years ago I accidentally entered the void without knowing what it was
I was so sleepy I laid down
Got distracted by a thought
And literally it went black for like five seconds and I felt nothing
So literally just stop paying attention
Affirm
If you want
Set the intention count whatever
Or you could just set the intention and just think
Of literally anything
That doesn’t cause physical reactions like a funny thought you’d laugh at
But just pretend you’re dreaming like how you normally would
Which brings me to my method
THE DREAM METHOD:
You could pretend to be dreaming
Like if you can’t visualize it still use your sense
Image your dreaming
And in that dream you’re living your dream life or you could “dream” that you’re in the void
However you want your void to look
By not moving you’re tricking your body into thinking you’re asleep
And by pretending to be dreaming
You’re tricking your mind into thinking
You’re both sleeping and dreaming
This will make you either dream Forreal
Or you could use this to get in the void
When or if you feel symptoms
By the way
Those floaty etc symptoms are actually signs that you’re astral projecting because shifting your awareness is a mind thing
NOT an outer body experience
So if you feel floaty dizzy spinning etc
You are astral projecting
BUT
You can use astral projection to shift and to enter the void
You’re Welcome
Also P.S but have you ever zoned out and stared at something til your vision got all blurry and background noises get fuzzy and whatever you’re focused on is the only think you can subconsciously focus on?
Yeahhh it’s a trance
Try doing this while meditating with your eyes open then close them and keep doing it
What ever you were focus on
Close your eyes
Set the intention
Affirm for a bit
Breathe then
Imagine something
Anything you’d want
And pretend to dream
By just visualizing or thinking or using your senses
You could put on an instrumental and imagine your doing a music video
If you feel symptoms just remember
Nothings physically happening to you
So why focus on it?
If someone saw you you’d still be in bed
Not moving
Itchy feelings mean your body is feeling as if you’re awake
There’s no actual physical symptoms of entering the void
Because it’s not really an out of body experience it’s you shifting your awareness has nothing to do with your body
Since you’re shifting to the 4D
The 4D is not physical
I may have mentioned symptoms in my previous posts I don’t remember I’m not a hypocrite I just learn and get more educated
But no matter
Take this how you want
And even if I could help
I could never get you into the void state
It’s literally me trying to tell YOUR subconscious mind to do something you already know how to do
Like cmon
Also
You don’t need the void to shift
Trust me there’s a gagillion methods
Another also
You don’t even need a method just lay down don’t move
Trust me weird shit will happen
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fanfictionismyaddiction · 2 months ago
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hii I don’t know if you are doing requests but if you are could you please do one with toto Wolff x wife reader where she’s just given birth and her in-laws make fun of her or give her mean comments and she gets all upset but doesn’t tell toto to keep the family peace but he finds out and gets a tad upset at her for hiding it but he rips his family a new one please please!!
Unconditional Support
Word Count: 999
Pairing: Toto Wolff x wife!reader
Summary: Y/n shares her vulnerability after giving birth, revealing the hurtful comments from Toto's family that make her question her worth, prompting Toto to confront them with fierce protectiveness
I don't speak Polish so if something isn't right pleas let me know so i can change it.
Also my requests are still open
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Toto stood at the window, the hospital room filled with a serene quiet. You rocked the baby gently in your arms, trying to focus on the peaceful moment, but your mind kept drifting back to the things his family had said. Every comment felt like a dagger, cutting deeper than you’d let yourself admit. You’d spent so much time second-guessing your own reactions, wondering if you were being too sensitive—just like your ex-friends and ex-boyfriend had always claimed.
But this felt different. You had just given birth. You were vulnerable, exposed, and instead of support, all you got was veiled judgment.
Toto turned around, sensing your unease. He crossed the room in a few strides, sitting beside you on the bed, his hand resting on your knee. "What’s wrong?" he asked softly, his dark eyes filled with concern. "You’re not yourself."
You tried to smile, to push it down, but the weight of it all was pressing on you too hard. "I don’t know," you whispered. "I don’t want to make it a big deal. Maybe I’m overthinking things. Maybe I’m just being sensitive."
Toto frowned, his grip on your knee tightening slightly. "Sensitive about what?"
You hesitated, the words sticking in your throat. But the memory of Eva’s voice, sharp and critical, wouldn’t leave your mind.
"Your mom…" you started slowly, "she said, *‘Ach, du siehst müde aus’* (Oh, you look tired), and I know I *am* tired, but the way she said it—it wasn’t just concern. It was like I was already failing somehow. Like I should be doing more, looking better. I’ve just had a baby, and instead of asking how I feel, she’s telling me I look bad."
Toto’s jaw clenched, but you continued, the words pouring out now.
"And then Katharina, she didn’t even say congratulations before she looked me up and down and said, *‘You’ll want to lose the baby weight quickly, right? There’s a Pilates instructor in Vienna…’* I know I’ve gained weight—of course I have, I just carried a child—but she made me feel like it’s a race to get rid of it. Like my worth is tied to how fast I look ‘normal’ again."
Your voice wavered, but you pushed on. "And Margit—she took the baby right out of my hands and said, *‘Das ist nicht richtig. Soll ich es dir zeigen?’* (That’s not right. Should I show you?) I was trying my best, and she acted like I didn’t even know how to hold my own baby. I already feel like I don’t know what I’m doing half the time, and she just made me feel… useless."
Toto stood up, his face dark with anger. He started pacing, his fists clenching and unclenching. "Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?" he demanded, his voice sharp. "Why did you let them say those things to you?"
"I didn’t want to cause problems," you said quietly, your gaze dropping to the floor. "I thought… maybe I was just seeing it wrong, like I always do. Maybe I was interpreting everything too negatively again. But the more I think about it, the more I realize… it wasn’t okay. They made me feel small. Like I wasn’t good enough."
Toto stopped pacing, his expression hardening. "You were right. They were out of line. I’m not letting this slide."
Before you could stop him, he grabbed his phone, his fingers flying over the screen as he found his mother’s number.
"Toto, wait," you pleaded, "don’t make this worse—"
But his face was set, determined. He brought the phone to his ear, speaking in rapid Polish as soon as his mother picked up. "Mamo, musimy porozmawiać." (Mom, we need to talk.)
You could hear the faint sound of his mother’s voice on the other end, but Toto’s expression didn’t soften.
"Nie, nie później. Teraz." (No, not later. Now.)
He glanced at you, his eyes blazing with a protective fury. "Dlaczego mówili takie rzeczy do Y/n?" (Why did they say those things to Y/n?) His voice was cold, demanding answers.
You watched, feeling torn between relief and anxiety as Toto continued to tear into his mother over the phone. You couldn’t understand everything, but the tone was unmistakable—he was furious, and he wasn’t going to let this slide. He paced back and forth, his voice low and dangerous as he spoke in quick bursts of Polish, likely recounting every hurtful comment you had shared with him.
After a few moments, his voice softened slightly, but his anger was still clear. "Nie obchodzi mnie, czy miały dobre intencje. Nie pozwolę, żeby tak traktowali moją żonę." (I don’t care if they meant well. I won’t let them treat my wife like that.)
He paused, listening to his mother’s response, before he sighed, rubbing his hand over his face in frustration. "To musi się skończyć. Teraz." (This has to stop. Now.)
He hung up the phone, his face still tense, and turned back to you. "I’ve told them," he said, his voice softer now but still firm. "They won’t be speaking to you like that again."
You looked down, guilt flooding through you. "I didn’t mean for this to turn into a big thing…"
Toto knelt beside the bed, taking your hand in his. "It’s not your fault. They were out of line, and you deserve better. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner."
You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. "I just didn’t want to cause problems. I was so scared I was overreacting."
Toto cupped your face gently, his thumb wiping away a tear that slipped down your cheek. "You’re not overreacting. You’re not being too sensitive. You’re my wife, the mother of our child, and no one gets to make you feel less than the incredible woman you are. Not even my family."
You let out a shaky breath, finally feeling the weight of their comments lift just a little. You had doubted yourself, but Toto was making sure you’d never have to doubt him.
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taegularities · 10 months ago
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entertainer (teaser) | jjk (m)
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Summary: Growing singer Jeon Jungkook is as charismatic as he is self-absored – that is, until he meets you. Caught in a web of secrets, he finds a riddle in you he urges to solve; even ready to turn the spotlight towards you until nothing remains… but regret.
➳ pairing: Jungkook x reader ➳ rating: 18+ ➳ genre: strangers to lovers (or something); angst, bits of fluff, smut ➳ warnings: do not fall for this jk i repeat do not f– 🚨 he's kinda hot though; (not so) silent yearning, flirting, sexual tension, he is so attracted to her :'), mystery, oc is a big question mark, full jk pov!, dark past(s), crying, fear, confrontation and fighting, cocky kook, secrets and revelations, explicit sexual content (kissing, fingering, teasing, drunk shenanigans, sooo much lust, big dick jk, etc.), more warnings on drop day once the fic is finished!! not much for the teaser itself, though <3 ➳ wc: 1.8k :') (around 20k for the full thing) ➳ a/n: scratches head. this has been a long time coming and i'm beyond curious how y'all will like it :') very new and experimental, so let's see how it goes!! as always, drop a message to lmk what you think of this lil glimpse, i'll be waiting with dangling feet hehe!! <3
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➳ give the Entertainer playlist a first listen! 🖤   
TAGLIST | MASTERLIST | WIPs 
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“Why are you the textbook definition of a fuckboy, honestly.”
“Fuckbo—”
“Nevermind.”
If he wasn’t well acquainted with this little game, he would’ve missed your subtle, nearly veiled intent to tease. But he’s done that a million times before — hence, catches the faint twitch of your gorgeous lips immediately.
You’re enjoying this. So he should join… right?
Yet.
You’re not being entirely insincere. In fact, he hates how he picks up on the note of truth in your velvety voice.
Trimmed nails scratch the back of his head, and he barely notices once the two of you halt in front of another piece of work. Distracted, he doesn’t bear the art any mind, instead asking, “You really think of me like that?”
You shrug a shoulder. Nonchalance a constant feature, but so natural, even somewhat gentle, that he can’t help but feel drawn to you. “A little.”
“Well, shit.”
“Don’t overthink it. Enjoy the art.”
“Sure.”
Reluctantly, he glances to the canvas. It’s a mess of hues; a random arrangement of spontaneous emotions. Resembles the masterpieces he used to create in Microsoft Paint, back when his legs would still dangle off the chair.
“So,” he starts, nodding towards the painting, “what do you see in this?”
You hesitate. Or maybe it’s not hesitation — more like… a thinking pause. Sometimes, when Jungkook notices a whirring mind, he sees a steaming brain through a skull. Working at full blast.
But somehow, he only recognises a tranquil ocean as he observes you gather your thoughts. Everything about you is tender, but wrapped in dark mystery.
How much mental training does it require to become this inscrutable?
When you finally speak, you’re saying similarly odd things.
“I see… colours.” Right. Stating the obvious. Jungkook chuckles, delivering a head tilt. “And am wondering how the painter got to create this at all. I mean, this looks so meaningless at first, doesn’t it?”
“But it’s not, yeah?”
“We’re fast to think that. Most of the time, there must be a trigger, or a thought on something, no matter how small. Something might have been bothering him. This is—” A hand gestures towards the painting. “Such a chaotic mind.”
Interesting…
“Is this what you usually think about all day?” Jungkook wonders.
You scoff. “I’m just a person, too. I think about a lot of random things.”
“Ahhh. Like what?”
“Like… seeing all the green in this exhibition made me realise how that colour makes me cry.”
Jungkook takes a haphazard look around. Now that you say it — there’s no hint of a nature theme, but the abundance of green is striking. It’s as calm as you. No wonder you’d immerse yourself in a showcase such as this.
You continue, as if tracing and reading his mind like an open novel, “It’s soothing, right? And unique. These earthly things sometimes make me feel like not all of us are deserving of seeing such beauty. Like it should be reserved for those who've earned it.”
Earned it? How? 
Jungkook can’t see your thoughts as clearly as you’re apparently capable of doing, but he has an inkling of what you might mean. Truly dazzling souls merit the stunning bloom of the world, right?
And then…
If that’s what it is.
He wonders — do you think he deserves to see the colour green? Or is it already over if he has to ask? Perhaps, should he be perceiving it as grey right now? He doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know how you think of him — doesn’t know anything about you at all. You’re a tough nut to crack. 
“Hmm… that’s a way to think about it,” he says.
“Only because it’s the same for people. And I’ve had this thought about humans a lot… I…” You hesitate, blink, and then grant him your gaze. “I knew someone who was the colour green. Not everyone deserved them, either.”
Someone…
Poetic minds carry a certain pain in their eyes.
He’s been seeing it in yours. He just doesn’t know how to handle it. So he doesn’t. Yet.
Instead, he asks, “What else are you thinking about?”
“Uhmmm,” you voice, straightening your back a little, as if waking up from a dream — a nightmare? “I’ve been thinking about trying that, too. Painting, I mean. It doesn’t have to mean anything or be good. Just a great way to capture something that resonates with what I feel.”
Every word you’ve uttered today was otherworldly. You didn’t talk like this when you were at the meeting, or in his office. Your soul is somewhat free-floating here, and he doesn’t understand why.
And it’s a behaviour he usually strays away from. The vulnerable ones can be dangerous.
But somehow… you’re too strong of a magnet.
One who shrugs all the puzzles away — and he sighs in despair. Maybe it’s not time to find out what you feel just yet. What resonates with you — even though he’s dying to hear it.
He inquires, “Are you always this much of an open book?”
“No. Not at all.” Of course not. Rhetoric question — he knows this much. “But I like thinking out loud sometimes.”
“I’m glad to be a sounding board then.”
“Hah. Well, I was also thinking how I appreciate that I met you here.” Pause. Oh? What a surprise. Strokes his ego, though. And then, out of the blue again, “You wanna go to the museum restaurant?”
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Jungkook has barely inhaled half of the exhibition yet. But just for today, he couldn’t care less.
Perhaps this is enough for now, visiting the overpriced restaurant, watching you from afar as you inspect your nails calmly. You’re not busy on your phone like the rest of the crowd — entertained by the same media that he’s part of.
Maybe he can be a bigger part of their lives one day — be the one flitting over their screens, the one they adore. The one they worship.
But you don’t seem to indulge in those mind-numbing devices for now. You might be an addition to his team, but privately, you float in your own world. Distracted by the thoughts you won’t disclose.
Your hands retreat, arms crossing on the table and lips curling into a smile once he strolls back to you. Satisfied, he informs you, “One cake to go with the coffee. As the lady suggested.”
“Oh. One?” you ask, “Don’t you want one?”
“I do.”
“So…” You stall, and he waits until it clicks, your head tilting in understanding. “Are we sharing?”
Jungkook lifts a thumb, pointing over his shoulder, back to the register, “Those chocolate cakes are sweet as hell. I’ve got a sweet tooth, but believe that it’ll be enough for us two.”
You laugh — a candied, disarming chuckle before you breathe an, “Alright.”
Jungkook doesn’t know you well enough to feel any skip of his heart; yet, you stir something else in his mind. While he does avoid them, it’s still always people like you who intrigue him the most — those who veil themselves in a coat of secrets.
He sighs.
“That was fast,” you note, eyes at a point behind him.
And he understands when the waitress arrives a couple moments later, serving two perfectly prepared cappuccinos and a mouth-watering chocolate fudge piece.
You thank her with a gentle smile, and tuck a hair behind your ear, fingertips grazing your dangling silver earring.
And he watches.
Watches as you nod towards him, urging him, “Start then.”
Observes your smile as he signals you to start instead. And he gazes at you as your delicate digits reach for the fork, tearing off a piece, wrapping your lips around the utensil.
And then… oh God.
He feels his guts twist; hears all background noise fade; blood rushing away from his head.
All the way through his body as you slowly relish the sweetness and then drag the wet tip of your tongue over the fork. Licking away the leftover chocolate.
Jungkook swears it happens in slow motion. And witnessing your elegance in snail’s pace… makes him sick.
When your eyelashes flutter, gape lifting to meet his, the sound around him comes alive again — as does he. He averts his stare from your mouth, covered in the same colour as the coffee, but you notice.
You catch him looking. And it makes you… smile? Shit.
But you don’t boast your effect; only digress as you say, “Well… tastes as fancy as it looks. Try.”
You’re as relaxed with him as you can be. But you always are; with everyone. He craves that bit that’s only reserved for him — and maybe he’s too zealous too fast. He hasn’t known you for long.
Making you smile must be an achievement, though, right? If only… you didn’t think of him like…
He nods, and then leans over the table ever-so-slightly. His knees brush against yours, a soft but deliberate move. He places an elbow on the table, grasping the fork, close to you. If he lifted his hand, he could touch your cheek.
He wishes he could.
His eyes meet yours through his bangs, the cake’s taste irrelevant to your presence. And when his ego doesn’t let him live, he finally asks, almost as if insulted, “Do you actually perceive me as a fuckboy?”
The question catches you off guard. You hesitate, furrowing your eyebrows, and then giggle before questioning back, “Jungkook… that’s bothering you this much? Mmmh. How would you like to be perceived?”
“Just. As a decent guy who wants to get to know you. And I know you know.” You blink, but he doesn’t buy it. So he elaborates, “I’ve been trying to make clear that I find you interesting. And somewhat attractive.”
People usually display a flicker of glimmer in their eyes upon hearing such praise. But you don’t budge; in fact, your eyes remain the same, if not a little darker. Why?
Yet, you cock an eyebrow, sporting a teasing, playful tone, “Somewhat, hm?”
He shakes his head, clicks his tongue.
“You’re pretty and I think you know,” he blurts, “and I don’t want to screw up right away.”
Is it the habit of never failing; getting what he wants? The urge to solve an enigma? The chance to dive into you until you’re bared to him? Why are you so interesting to him?
You’re just a person.
Maybe it’s just the unsettling need to discover what you’re hiding — it won’t let him rest. There’s something about you that screams to him to unravel. 
He doesn’t know what it is. Doesn’t know if you’re even from the same world as him — even though you seem to have crossed his realm before.
No matter what it is; Jungkook only understands for now that he wants to take off your layers.
Wants you to be the colour green for him. 
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wrote most of it now and while sick, so it might change hehe! but i hope it's okay so far, and it shall only get better!! i'm so so excited for this, like i've been working on it and putting thought into it since october, so i hope it's worth the wait <3
as always, send your thoughts, questions, complaints lol lemme know what you think or i might perish sniff. super curious to know!! also, here's the taglistttt 🤍 love and appreciate you all <3
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lidiasloca · 2 months ago
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i’ve been dying for a fic about azriel meeting his mate who is just someone in velaris. and him being super private and secretive about it to the point that the ic is like what is wrong with you??? and then he finally tells them by bringing his mate to family dinner??
a private relationship with azriel
azriel x reader
fluff
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄☆
You had grown to know Azriel’s soul like the palm of your hand. There were no misinterpretations or confusions. It all lay clear and honest between you. He could hide no truth, and neither could you.
So it was no surprise that he kept you like he would an oath. It was his protective nature. And you had accepted that long before it showed, because you wanted him, just like he was.
Yes, being hidden behind his back from his loved ones drove the knife more into your flesh, but so it would to watch him suffer knowing your protection was at risk. So you kept it how he wanted, private.
At least that’s what you told yourself today, as he was about to leave for a family dinner, one you were of course not invited.
“Y/N?”
“What?” you blurted out, thinking how much lost you had been in your head.
“I’m - I’m leaving,” he said hesitantly, scared as always of how much could you bear the knife he kept twisting.
Knowing how he’d laugh and talk and have fun with his family, and you wouldn't be there, kept your mind in a dark place. You would never be there.
Maybe you hadn’t quite accepted being his secret, as you thought.
You had no heart for words; your tight nod was his final cue to leave silently.
Guilt filled your lungs when you let out a weak breath. It always felt like you had a wordless argument when he left. Like you shouted your pain and he yelled his reasons. But there was only silence.
But what was there to overthink about, now? He was gone, and you were at your apartment again alone.
Or so you thought.
“Y/N”
You turned in a heartbeat to Azriel’s voice.
What are you doing, you were going to ask, but your heart was faster. “You’re back…” you murmured in wonder.
He gave you a half smile, since most of his joy had settled in his eyes, which regarded you expectant.
“I am.”
You cocked your head, intrigued. You were used to the little use he gave to words, but that didn’t make you less curious about what was on his mind constantly.
“Why?”
And thanks to his eyes, you somehow could read his heart. Somehow you knew why he was back.
Nonetheless, you were too vulnerable to risk sparking your hopeful hypothesis.
He slowly walked to you, only stopping when your warm breath caressed his chin. He assessed every centimeter of your face. Knowing him, he was taking time to plan his words.
You inclined your face upward to watch his eyes, which let you look through his soul more than his words did.
“Come with me,” he whispered. “Let me present you to them.”
You breathe caught. No matter how many times you blinked, your disbelief didn’t wash out from your eyes. No matter if you had known this was why he was back, now that it was out of his lips, it was harder to believe.
“You really mean it?” you questioned, still confused; what had made him change his mind about his most solemn rule?
“Yes.”
A tear ran down your cheek before you realized you were crying. “Oh,” was all you could express, as Azriel gently wiped your tears, watching you in worry.
“You don’t want to?” he asked with a concerned frown.
You chuckled weakly, shaking your head. “No, it’s not that.”
“Then why are you crying, love?” His voice was so gentle and unsure, as if he was afraid his words were strong wind for the candle that was you.
“Because I thought you would never ask - I thought I was always going to be a secret,” you mumble in between sobs.
His lips parted at your blatant confession. “I’m so sorry,” he sighted, moving his hands to hold your face, looking deep into you. “I never wanted you to feel like you were a secret. I did it because I wanted you to be protected. The less people know, the less risk.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry still.” He looked down, biting his lip as he though. “Will you come, then?”
A sweetly-crafted smile bloomed in your flushed face as you moved your hands to his shoulders, as if you were to start dancing. “Of course, Az.”
“Good,” he smiled in return. “Because it would be a very boring dinner without you.”
You laughed at that. “Didn’t you told me they were very funny?” you asked with a risen eyebrow.
“They used to be, but now they only interrogate me.”
“What for?” you questioned as you grinned, feeling the excitement to meet his family grow.
“They think I’m in love. Feyre said she sees it in my eyes,” he said, rolling said eyes in sarcastic disdain.
You cocked your head, questioning him with a wordless remark. He understood and gived you a smart smirk, adding, “And she is right. I am in love.”
“Then I think it’s only fair you show her she was right all along, isn’t it?”
He suddenly took you in his arms like he always does before taking off flying. You bursted out laughing in excitement when he walked to the terrace. He really was taking you to the dinner.
“My mate is just so fair and kind…” he mocked with a gentle voice.
“She is. And she also is very funny,” you added, matching his cocky grin with one of your own.
“They will love you," he said, almost in wonder.
You blushed at the thought. You could not deny you were growing nervous.
“Good. Because I love you,” you murmured.
Your mate leaned in to peck your forehead. And as he took off flying, the nervousness dissipated, and your heart filled instead with the love you had for Azriel.
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-Characters by Sarah J Maas
HEY! IF YOU LIKED THIS, YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY AZRIEL MASTERLIST HERE <3
and you can also request any fic idea you have through my inbox so i can write it down :)) i much appreciate requests for azriel and other acotar characters
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insanechayne · 1 year ago
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~ ~ ~
#I know you’ve got kind of a busy day going on today but you could have at least sent me a message before you left for it#we’ve had plenty of days like this and you always send me something in the morning before you go do the things#and yeah we were having a not great time yesterday and it was kind of an argument#so I get that you’re probably still mad at me but the silent treatment isn’t helpful to either of us and you know it really bothers me#it’s not like you had to say anything super in depth either#just a good morning and an acknowledgement that you saw my messages from last night would have been fine since that’s what you usually send#so now I’m just gonna kinda be stuck wondering why you didn’t respond to me like usual and if you’re still angry#I’m gonna just wait around checking this constantly for when you might come back and send me something#and I guess it’s not really a big deal but it’s just so out of the ordinary for you and for us and it’s just a little bothersome#I don’t know why these things affect me so much or why I can’t stop thinking about them all the time#I wish I wasn’t so anxious and overthinking everything and feeling weird just because you haven’t talked to me yet todays#I don’t know how to stop this or change it and I’ve told you that so many times#I’m trying to make it easier for both of us but you could at least meet me halfway#because you know that if you don’t send me something I’m just going to worry that you either hate me or are hurt somewhere in reality#so I just get to sit with that now#and still I have to get ready and go to work and act like I’m totally fine and not brimming with anxiety#just another day I guess#personal
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synqiri · 2 months ago
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I LOVE YOU SO.
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in which you are insecure about whether or not he truly likes you, and he comforts you in turn.
or, the first time he says ‘i love you’.
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PAIRING: wanderer x gn!reader
WARNINGS: none
WORDCOUNT: 1.5K || CONTENT: hurt/comfort, you're a bit of an overthinker, you cry, wanderer is bad at Feelings™ but he's trying
NOTES: a lil different from my usual style but yes >:3
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“do you even like me?”
wanderer turns to look at you, confused, brows drawn. he scoffs, as if you had just asked if the sky was blue. perhaps to him, you may as well have. “what kind of ridiculous question is that?”
it’s late, you think, and the sun has long since dipped beyond the horizon. the both of you are idling in bed, him with a book in his hands, and you with nothing but worries on your mind. you sigh. you hadn’t meant to blurt it out in that manner, but since it already happened, you may as well…
“i just — it’s so stupid, i know, but… it feels as if you only put up with me, y’know? and that you don’t really like like me. i’m sorry, i’m just —”
“you truly get the most foolish ideas.”
his tone is biting, his eyes an electrifying violet. the book in his hands creases in his grip, and you wince. you wonder if he’s angry at you.
then again, he always seems irritated at you, doesn’t he? a tiny little voice whispers in your mind. it sounds bitter and resigned, and you find yourself getting angry at that thought. something sour claws its way up your throat. “do you have to sound so snide all the time? is it so hard just — just speak nicely to me for once?”
his lips part, yet nothing comes out. he looks astounded, really, and it’s probably the first time you’ve seen him without a witty retort in response. it’s not satisfying at all. that realisation only serves to worsen your mood.
tears prick at the corners of your eyes. archons, it’s not like you to get this emotional, to blow up at him like this. you knew what you were getting into, falling in love with the wanderer. you knew he was guarded and prickly and cold and you chose to love him anyway. 
perhaps he was right and you truly did have the stupidest ideas. you had been friends with wanderer before you had been lovers, and he had opened up to you so much in that span of time that you thought if you took things further, he’d only trust you more. but he hadn’t. in fact, ever since you began dating, it felt as if he had begun to pull away. 
how foolish, that little voice says. did you think you could change him?
roughly, you bring the back of your palm to wipe the dampness from your eyes. you sniffle, throat tight. “sorry, just… ignore that. forget about it. it’s been a long day and i shouldn’t take it out on you. i’m g’na sleep now.”
you switch off your lamp, and the room plunges into the darkness. not even the moon is out tonight, the moonlight blocked by the thick, rolling clouds. you settle yourself into bed comfortably, facing the wall as you do. 
usually, you’d be cuddling right up to him, despite all his grumbled protests. he always let you have your way in the end, anyway. you can’t help but smile a bit at that. 
despite everything, you know he isn’t all bad. he can be kind and sweet and gentle and absolutely swoon-worthy — and even then, those moments are getting increasingly hard to come by in the recent weeks.
“i wouldn’t be here, playing house with you, if i didn’t like you,” wanderer says suddenly, tentatively. his tone is softer than it had been before, and you know it is meant to be his way of comfort. 
you know he favours you, cares for you. the evidence is in everything he does, in the way no one else would be able to act the way you do with him but you. except all his softness is buried under layers and layers of all the things he has yet to work through. and though you’ve always been the patient type, his callousness chipped away at your spirit little by little til you were a mess of anxiety and insecurity and —
white-hot anger stabs at you then, despite all your efforts to force it down. you laugh wetly, voice thick. “you have a funny way of showing your feelings, y’know that?”
“you never approach me first. and there was that week i decided to wait and see if you would, and it took you a whole week before you — and you’re always so guarded — and that’s not the problem but the problem is you act like you trust me less now than when we were just friends and —”
you’re rambling now, everything that you had been bottling up bubbling out of you in surges. you draw in a shallow, shuddery breath, and it’s only then you notice the dampness on your pillow. you rub at your eyes harshly, sighing. 
“i know you hate being vulnerable, seeming weak — but if you can’t trust even me then what’s the point? i really… i don’t know how much more of this i can take.”
you go silent there, having run out of things to say. yet your tears can’t seem to stop, your body curled tight, your back facing him. you don’t know how you’d be able to look him in the eye again, after an outburst like that. gods, what if he broke things off with you? what if…
“i warned you about what you were getting yourself into,” he says softly, “loving someone like me. foolishly, you chose me anyway.”
how in teyvat was that supposed to make you feel any better? had he not been listening to you for the past ten minutes?
“and like an utter fool, i couldn’t have been happier.”
oh.
he shifts, the bedsheets rustling, and you’re tempted to turn and look. but you don’t. not yet. sighing, he continues, “you make me soft. weak. i couldn’t accept it.”
“so you started to distance yourself from me.” 
it comes out flatly, a short, unimpressed realisation. you wonder why he agreed to date you if all he’d do is push you away. you have a feeling he doesn’t have an answer either. he falls quiet at your words, a silent acknowledgment. 
“i’m sorry,” he says finally, stumbling over the words. “you deserve better than that. than me.” 
the words, though spoken no louder than a whisper, echo within the silence of the room. you’re crying again, silently this time, and more out of relief than anger and hurt. you bite on your lip to swallow your sobs, but don’t bother about wiping your eyes. you didn’t expect you’d hear him apologise, let alone admit he should’ve treated you better. it lightens something in your heart, the tension in your chest dissipating a little. 
still, you think, even if you deserved better, it is him that you loved, and you’d be truly foolish to give it all up because of problems that could be worked through.
“think of me however you want,” he tells you. there’s an undertone of earnestness in his voice now, hesitant but true. “i am far from a good person, much less a good lover. even so… never doubt the fact that it is you who i love.”
you falter. he… what?
“you — you love me?” you ask. it comes out in a dazed murmur. slowly, you turn to look at him, eyes swollen and all. you must look ridiculous now, you think, but you find you can’t quite care a bit. “you mean it?”
he lets out a low chuckle, as if he can’t quite believe it either. “i do.”
despite yourself, you can’t stifle the small smile that grows on your face. it’s the first time he’s ever said that to you, the first time he’s ever explicitly expressed his feelings toward you out loud in words. 
“will you say it again?"
“i love you,” he says again, this time, without any hesitation. he huffs, and you’d like to think he sounds fond. his tone turns lofty. “you should be proud of yourself. to be the only person who can make a fool out of me.”
there’s a small smile tugging at his lips too, his eyes bright and soft and warmer than you’ve ever seen before. you laugh softly, rubbing the tear stains from your face. you feel unbelievably light, lighter than you have in days. it’s a nice feeling. 
“will you try, at least? to be a good lover?” you ask hopefully. you don’t think you’re asking for much, really. “i think… then, we can work on being a good couple together.”
he agrees easily, almost breathing out the word. “yeah.” 
you yawn. all that crying has you completely exhausted, and you suppose it’s time to call it a day. stretching, you reposition yourself comfortably, cocooning yourself in the blankets. he didn’t need them anyway. 
“good night,” you whisper, eyes already fluttering shut. 
your consciousness dips partway into slumber then, so you don’t get to hear his response. yet you feel a warm, gentle pressure on your cheek, and something light ghosting over your forehead. you smile.
and for now, that is enough.
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galene-gothic · 3 months ago
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𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒?
୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱
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˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES
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Today we'll take a look at:
- your surface level personality/image
- your inner world
- your soul energy
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︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱
꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱
You seem to be struggling a lot and even others can see it or at least that’s your image. People think that you have an unwelcome community or no community at all. Even if you have friends, they could leave you out or you feel that way, or others can witness it or this is something of the past. You may feel a strong need for a sense of belonging which could lead to you overextending and being very welcoming, and gullible. However, despite this, you seem to be a bit isolated and seem to need solitude. You seem to be pretty comfortable with being by yourself. You definitely have those who think you are ‘all talk, no action’. People think that you’re judgmental and also have a tendency to overthink, that you have a tendency to overanalyse situations and people. There are people who think that you have unrealistic ideas without much planning or preparation. All of this may have been discouraging to hear but one thing is that you’re not perceived the way you actually are and that is okay, you are currently waiting for some sort of change but you’ve learned how to be patient by now. It’s not like you’re ‘all talk, no action’, you’re just patient and taking things one step at a time. You have learned how to go with the flow and are doing so for now, it’s just that others aren’t being able to see how you’ve cleared obstacles one after another and have had major expansion in comparison to your past. Your hard work is paying off little by little but you’ve not received all the rewards yet. Continue celebrating how far you’ve come, others just don’t know anything about you and your life. They think that you’re not doing well mentally and emotionally, that you’re at a rock bottom. It’s funny how people have such different perspectives of you than who you truly are. You look at it as even if those endings, hurt and situations were hard, you transformed a lot from it and you’re still in a transition period. You’re still letting go and changing. You’ve not fully gotten used to the new beginnings but you’re having a lot of them. Despite the negative feelings that tend to come forth, the fear and sorrow, the cycles have finally ended.
꒰ Your inner world ꒱
YES!! I’m so happy, I was right! Those who think negatively of you based on your surface level personality believe the same about themselves. They think that you’re ‘all talk, no action’ because they know they themselves are ‘all talk, no action’. You have a really rich inner world. At this point, you value balance, i.e. giving and receiving equally. Two people can go through the same or at least similar situations and turn out to be completely different. I wonder if you come from fairly humble beginnings, your family or you had a bankruptcy, you didn’t have a parent so you took up a lot of responsibilities, you grew up with your guardians instead of parents, started earning young or weren’t given much money (it could be a situation similar to all these examples). Even if you did come from a well off family, there was some sort of instability. There was a point when you probably didn’t have anything or didn’t have much. Also, you seem to have lost a lot, many people, things or you may not have had much to lose to begin with. I’m definitely getting that you felt unsupported by others and alone. I’m getting this in every sense, i.e. financially, mentally, physically and emotionally. Your health was bad at that time too. You didn’t look good physically (because you weren’t) and neither did you feel good internally. The loss of connections at that time was the worst thing that they could have done to you because these people definitely weren’t doing things for the sake of their peace or anything of that sort, they wanted to create chaos and pain for you. This is your confirmation that they wanted to break you down, they wanted to knock you down to a peg. You are too kind and strong though, despite all the difficult times and changes, you went within yourself to find answers and move forward. Despite all the distress that you had to experience, the moment you gained just a little more stability, you started wanting to give to others and become more good charactered. You’re grateful for what you have and try to treat everyone equally, and with respect. You already share resources from the good of your heart but you’re focused on your investments, you’re focused on building your money. You’re trying to be responsible and are generous, kind and truly valuable because you value the right things, and you also try to grow and live by certain values, morals and virtues within yourself. However, your past still is affecting you mentally because you were thrown under a bus and you’ve gotten used to thinking about it 💀. The metaphor I’m getting is that you were strolling with your group of best friends or your lover (possibly both) you had their best interests at heart and thought they had the same for you too but suddenly, in the blink of an eye, you were thrown under a bus. It was really difficult to even comprehend, the wheels crushing your bones, the confusion, until you eventually passed sway and when you woke up, you didn’t have those loved ones around you, you found out that your feet aren’t working anymore, you didn’t even receive a call from them to ask about your whereabouts and needs but instead, they started making memes about how you’re unable to walk now. You were hurt, betrayed, lonely but little by little, you tried to walk and even though it took you some time, you started being able to stand by yourself, then you started walking until you were finally sprinting. That’s just a metaphor but it was not an exaggeration, whatever those people did to you was the same level of betrayal that I’ve written in the example above (regardless of whether you realise it or not). You have a scary deal of determination but you also have a lot of energy towards those situations (in the form of aggression and anger) even if you don’t realise it.
You’ve had many revelations and still continue having them. You’ve started seeing the truth about past people and situations. All of you here lead different lives but you’ve learned how to find abundance right where you are. Some of you have good connections, some of you are progressing in your careers, some of you don’t have either of those but what you do have is that inner abundance. You have a strong desire and even daydream (possibly even literally dream) about community, healthy love, a happy family, a happy relationship, good friendships, etc. You already feel as though you have a fairly supportive work and personal environment. You’ve learned how to be emotionally content without experiencing all the highs and lows just because they might be exciting. You value belonging and long term commitments. Despite this, there are times when you get excessively negative though. You have a tendency to hold onto trauma and haven’t fully escaped your past yet. You can definitely feel a bit bitter at times. You also have a tendency to at times, let your emotions overpower your logic and at other times, let your logic overpower your emotions. Emotionally, you love unconditionally but your definition of unconditional love isn’t unconditional as in “even if you disrespect me and don’t love, I’ll still love you” but instead it is “I care about your well-being even when I’m angry at you”, “I love and respect you even when we are fighting”, “I accept your shortcomings for you are also a human”, “no matter how much we change, I’ll always love and devote myself to you”. Your emotions are also something that helps you express yourself better. When you love someone, you wish to express it wholeheartedly. You love everyone like a mother would their child, you’re incredibly giving and have a universal love. I wouldn’t be surprised if recently you’ve developed a love for kids or at least, you always have had compassion for kids and felt strongly against beating kids to discipline them, etc. You’re divine, not only do you love like a mother would their child but you also love like a child would their mother. For a child, their parents are all they know and usually even though times are changing and women work too, fathers still aren’t that actively engaged with kids, so it’s the mother that the child is strongly attached to. When you love someone, you give all of yourself to them and expect the same from them. You also have a praise kink ahahaha. It’s okay, don’t be embarrassed, I’m openly claiming to be one of your kind 😔. You have an innocent way of loving and desire to have people praise you. You are fun loving when you love people, with both friends and lovers. You trust them and can be quite naive to be honest because a child does usually naively trust people and especially they trust their own mother blindly. You’re extremely affectionate and tender, also so sensitive to little things. You could have had a parent, guardian or teacher not prioritise your gift to them or brush your affection off at least once if not multiple times and you’ve unconsciously carried it with you. It was especially bad when you were younger, if someone didn’t react the way you wanted them to, you would feel hurt and it would just make you think. You also develop a psychic connection with those you love, trying to and almost always successfully understanding their wants and needs. You are the type to send soft messages, say kind and sweet words, play around, touch them innocently, etc. Gosh, we don’t deserve you. Just looking at your inner world makes me want to love you and desire your love.
꒰ Your soul energy ꒱
Your soul is going to have to deal with a lot of pessimistic moments. However, the best way that you’re going to learn how to deal with them is by being optimistic. You’re going to experience the most exciting situations going sour and turning out wrong. It’s all so that you learn a certain level of detachment and realise that it’s not that you can’t control anything, it’s that nothing can control you, it’s not that you can’t own anything, it’s that nothing can own you. Just the way the cloud covering the sun doesn’t mean the sun isn’t there, that the sun isn’t the sun, it’s just a cloud that will pass by in its own time. Anything that causes you to not be yourself, anything that causes you to not be seen as yourself by others, i.e. the brightest star in our universe, it’s going to pass by in its own time too. Your soul has signed up for trying multiple times. Which means that your soul has also signed up to experience failures before you finally succeed. You’ll notice that the way your life works is - first you go down, then you eventually rise up, then you go down again and while most people would stay down, you rise up even higher. You’re someone who doubts people’s loyalty and well, unfortunately your soul has signed up to deal with conflicts here and there in your partnerships so that you can work through the trust issues that you’ve carried throughout other lifetimes. You’re going to have to learn overtime that a lost love isn’t real love because real love wouldn’t give up on you just the way you wouldn’t give up on them. Your soul is here to grow and expand, past all these issues. You’re supposed to learn how to just be, to just live in the present moment without any reservations and fears. You’re supposed to put your past behind and move forward while applauding your baby steps and how far you’ve come instead of being all impatient. The cycles that you experience, especially in the earlier stages of your life will come to end with many delays. There are going to be days when you’re left empty handed, also days when you won’t see major wins as victories. Don’t blame yourself for having been emotionally attached to your past at some point, you are supposed to learn how to not waste your life away for moments that have fleeted away. You’re supposed to learn how to not seek closure, how to find closure within people’s character and actions. “Pay attention to people’s actions and you’ll never be fooled by words.” You’re going to suppress pain and anger at some point, eventually overcoming a lot of trauma and emotional pain. You’re going to learn how to free yourself from unnecessary emotional energy and are going to forgive yourself, others and situations for the sake of your own peace. There is definitely going to be a point when you refuse to move on though. Until you finally accept the truth of the situation and move forward with strength. If you’re single, it’s because your type is yourself 😔. You’re emotionally mature, compassionate, caring, empathetic, wise, tolerant, loyal, devoted and passionate, and these are the same qualities that you desire in a partner. You strongly desire the affection of someone who’s emotionally mature and intelligent, and makes a good counsellor. You want to have a partner that’s better than you in some way so that you can learn from them. You want to be able to act like a brat at times. You want them to be empathetic and kind, and understand the matters of the heart by themself. You want them to be open to supporting others and especially you. You want a kind and respectable partner because you are the same way and growing to take on more and more of that identity.
︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱
꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱
You seem to be exploring multiple possibilities and options, often finding it challenging to choose a single path. This can lead to confusion and a sense of being overwhelmed by the choices in front of you. However, this exploration is a crucial part of your decision-making process. People might perceive you as indecisive or lost in daydreams but in reality, you're weighing your options and considering all possible outcomes. You may find yourself feeling stuck or encountering delays. Your usual swift movement and energetic pace might seem hindered. This stagnation can be frustrating, leading others to think that you're not making progress. Despite this, you are learning to adapt and move forward at a different pace, which is necessary for your long-term growth. It’s essential to understand that this period of slower movement is temporary and will eventually lead to greater momentum. You still need more experience for spirituality, emotions and love. You might feel hesitant to express your emotions fully, leading to misunderstandings or perceived miscommunications. Others might see you as inexperienced or lacking in depth in these areas. However, this is a period of learning and growth for you. You're developing a deeper understanding of your emotional landscape and how to articulate your feelings better. This phase is crucial for your emotional and creative development. You have a tendency to overanalyse situations and people, reminds me a lot of the previous pile, you may have been drawn to it. You may be too busy on certain aspects of your life which leads you to not having time to focus on the other aspects. You seem to lack direction right now but I would say that as long as you have your priorities straight and make decisions from your heart, you’ll be fine. I think that you have a slow moving body, you seem to give slow reactions but there are other days when you give impulsive and hyperactive responses? It’s quite endearing honestly. Supposing a football was about to hit you but it hit the wall instead, on some days you’ll just stand there and not react much, not even say anything, just blink a few times and go on with your day while on other days, you’ll be like “if this ball had hit me, I swear whoever kicked it!” while waddling around the football field. I’m getting that while others may not fully understand your journey or the depth of your experiences, it is clear that you are on a path of significant personal growth. Keep celebrating your achievements and know that you are progressing, even if the rewards are not yet fully visible. Your hard work and patience will eventually pay off, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.
꒰ Your inner world ꒱
This is crazy. Much like the previous pile who were perceived a certain way by other people but were strongly of substance. It’s the same for you. You’re incredibly humble naturally but you still make the conscious effort to maintain and create more humility within yourself? I’ve just started reading this part but I already respect and admire you so that speaks for itself. You could have a few conservative beliefs here and there or just views that are considered to be ‘conservative’ but are actually just basic human decency? It’s very natural for you, you have these qualities innately within yourself and you unconsciously, subconsciously and consciously look for these qualities as well. You really value loyalty ‘stereo heart’ by Gym Class Heroes is playing. You’re not exactly satisfied with your current state of wealth, status and success but you still continue to carry yourself with your head held high. You want something more but you’re not underestimating the journey to get there. You understand just how precious the present moment is and you try your best to appreciate it to the best of your abilities. You’re committed to your present duties and responsibilities while still reaching for more because you understand that doing the best with what you’ve got is the only way to live a life without many regrets. You’re very human and you accept that, that’s a great part of your charm. You know that regrets are inevitable but you still try to make the most out of life. You’re very reliable and loyal. You have dreams but know how to have realistic expectations or even if you have big dreams and unrealistic expectations, you internally have the awareness of that so you aren’t discouraged when reality isn’t living up to such dreams, hopes and expectations. Plus even if you have big dreams before starting to work on a certain goal, once you start the goal, you’re able to appreciate your little steps. You also become very duty focused and wanting to do the best so instead of focusing on what you don’t have, you end up feeling good about how much you do/did and what you did manage to have. “Mindset so good even my failures are a success.” You are strong willed and are currently more interested in financial stability than romance. I’m not getting it being anything superficial. You’re an incredibly well rounded person who would love a stable and loving connection, it’s just that you are a person who understands that you have this one life to live and you don’t want to have a futile life where you didn’t even make the most out of your own potential. Also, your goals seem to be more within your reach than romance. You want romance and relationships in general (platonic ones as well) to not be forced so you’re just patiently working on yourself. You have a grounded approach to success as well.
You aren’t the type to be like “once I become rich, I’ll hang out with successful and rich people, I’ll fly in the sky and forget everyone”, instead once you become successful, you’ll make sure to give credits to those who deserve it. “Thank you for instilling me with such values in the short time that we spent together, I promised to lead a virtuous life back then, maybe not out loud but within myself to honour you. You deserve a large chunk of credit for my success and once again, I promise to lead a virtuous life.” Once you’re rich and successful, you’ll be sure to bow down to those who serve you, to the community, to those who have raised you, to those who are younger, to those who are older, to those who are growing. ‘End of beginning’ by Djo is playing. I feel like there was a certain group of people that you really loved. The feeling that I’m getting is a childlike warmth and fun. It definitely seems to be a whole community with one person or a few people being the most memorable. You seem to have a lot of love for people in general and now that you’re growing, you are more appreciative of those who raised you and taught you certain things despite their own shortcomings but these people touched you on a different level in a very short time. It’s not like you don’t have appreciation for those you’ve grown up with and those who have always been around you or anything like that, it’s just that the tenderness, warmth yet firm boundaries and tough love you received from this community or maybe a certain person/group of people within this community has caused you to become more soft internally yet firm in your approach to the world yet kind, and very comfortable with your internal values of loyalty, living life to the fullest, stability, being virtuous as though it’s your duty, etc. I just heard that their humble and down to earth ways gave you a new life. They seem to be people who you are not around anymore but the warmth and love that they gave you and you have for them remains within you. This is so heartwarming. Some of you may think that you were at your worst when you received their affection, warmth, kindness and love, and it is true for many of you but just think about how loveable you must be to be loved so tenderly, warmly and deeply when you were at your worst. Due to your desire to be a certain kind of character, when you feel as though you didn’t live up to such ideals, you have a tendency to be a bit hard on yourself. You may have felt as though you had really strayed away from your morals at that time, that you had failed to maintain self respect, respect for others, your own morals and values which led you to being a disrespect-able person at that time but think about it, just how respectable of a person you must be to be respected and loved by such kind, courageous (because it takes courage to be kind and loving) and respectable people.
You deserve the world, you’re so precious. You have practical goals and planning, you’re also working hard and remaining patient right now. You’re a diligent person who is creating a stable and strong identity, and future for yourself. You try not to slack off your habits because you understand that your habits make up your identity. Think about it like this, if I smoke for a few days, that might be just for fun, due to peer pressure or something but soon that smoking will likely turn into something more, an addiction to say the least. Soon enough, my identity becomes that of a smoker. “Galene is a smoker.” Externally and action wise, you seem to be pretty well tempered. While, you may get angry here and there, when it comes to even big things, you just deal with them instead of complaining. You’re approaching life with optimism and passion. You also have your own personal philosophy through which you go through life. You’re pretty flexible right now and are just trying to be more harmonious, and cooperative. You are not aware of it but you have a lot of faith in the divine timing of things. You naturally believe and act as though things will turn out to be fine in the end, and are being pretty calm about whatever might be happening. You are just trying to remain grounded and in flow with life. You’re trying to stay true to your purpose and seem to be able to find contentment right where you are, even though you’re trying to reach for more. You have become pretty divine ahaha, you have a natural love for humanity or at least act with it. You’re looking at your life as your journey and just going through it, doing your best. This is very specific but I’m picking up on a man or a guy? I’m not sure who this is but at least one or two of you have learned from them to the point you have become them to a certain extent. Is this someone from that community setting from earlier? This person has affected you positively though. I’m getting something about your standards here. This person has raised your standards significantly. You look for stability, efficiency, mental strength, discipline and safety in your romantic connection and connections in general. This person was really wise and you’ve grown to be really wise. You have always been wise but just hadn’t been able to embrace that wisdom but you are doing so now. You also look for wisdom in your companions especially within your partner. This person looks incredibly sexy when angry. You are both very passionate individuals but your fuse used to lose when you were around them but regardless the connection between the both of you is beautiful. There was a telepathic bond. “Real recognises real”, they recognised your greatness at the worst time of your life. You have grown to become a lot like this person, likely because they actively tried to instil certain qualities, values and virtues within you. They did so because they had faith in you. Be grateful, you’re such a great person, you have great people see your brightness even when you are at your dullest.
꒰ Your soul energy ꒱
Your soul’s energy is one where your mind is often filled with hesitation and uncertainty. There are moments when you feel a lack of inspiration and motivation, which can make it difficult to start new projects or pursue your passions. This might lead to frustration and a sense of being stuck. However, this energy also leads to teaching your soul the importance of patience and the value of waiting for the right moment to act. It's a lesson in finding your inner spark even when the world feels dim. There’s a layer of complexity to your mental energy. It signifies that your mind is deeply influenced by your relationships and connections with others. You have a strong desire for harmony and unity, and your thoughts often revolve around how to maintain balance and peace in your relationships. This can sometimes lead to overthinking and indecisiveness as you weigh the pros and cons of every situation. However, it also highlights your ability to understand different perspectives and your commitment to nurturing meaningful connections. You are someone who was probably a victim of thinking about others before yourself due to how much you loved them (in the past). Your physical energy and actions are marked by a tendency to be cautious and sometimes overly defensive. You are meant to struggle with impulsiveness and a lack of direction in your actions. You will find yourself starting many things but not always following through. This is going to lead to frustration and a feeling of unfulfilled potential. However, this energy also brings a lesson in self-awareness and the importance of planning and thoughtful execution. You’re someone who is deeply involved in the present moment with those you love. Wanting to delve into that love, indulge it wholeheartedly. Due to this, you create really sentimental connections and memories. Even after you grow, you will find yourself functioning from a very childlike form of love and connection, not just that, your actions will be very childlike too. This is going to manifest in all ways, you’re going to be loving and affectionate like a child, sensitive like one too (to the actions and words of those you love) and also having fun, playing, and finding joy in simple things like a child.
Which is why, at some point, you’ll find yourself being deeply connected to your past. You will often find yourself reminiscing about earlier times and drawing comfort from familiar activities and routines. This nostalgia will hold you back from fully engaging with the present at some point, but when you learn how to deal with it and be present, it will provide a rich source of joy and grounding. Embracing the lessons from your past will help you build a more secure and fulfilling present. Emotionally, you tend to hold on tightly to what you have, whether it’s material possessions, relationships or beliefs. You might struggle with letting go and trusting the flow of life. This can lead to feelings of isolation and a fear of change. However, this energy also teaches you the value of stability and the importance of setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being as you grow. You’re going to have nurturing and sentimental connections that might be short term, likely in community settings, most likely not romantic because you’ll love everyone from that community due to how warmly you feel towards them but leave you touched forever, you’ll learn really valuable lessons from them. You’re have probably already experience deep emotional wounds and heartbreaks in this lifetime. These painful experiences shaped your emotional landscape, leading to moments of sorrow and grief. However, this energy also signifies great healing and growth which leads to lesson being learnt. Through these challenges, you are going to develop resilience and a deeper understanding of your emotional needs. This reading is a reminder that while pain is inevitable, it also paves the way for greater compassion and empathy. Your soul is on a journey of profound transformation. The challenges you face are opportunities for growth, teaching you patience, self-awareness and the importance of emotional resilience. Embrace both the light and dark aspects of your soul’s energy, as they both contribute to your unique and powerful journey.
︎︎⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱
꒰ Your surface level personality/image ꒱
You are often perceived as hopeful and idealistic. You possess a sense of optimism and vision for the future that others find inspiring. People see you as someone who looks beyond the present difficulties and focuses on what could be. This perception can lead to others viewing you as a dreamer, someone who is always seeking out new possibilities and ways to make the world a better place. Your ideas are often seen as refreshing and uplifting, even if they seem a bit out of reach at times. People may feel that you have a unique way of thinking and that you bring a sense of calm and guidance, much like a beacon of light in the dark. However, this idealistic nature can sometimes be misinterpreted. Some might think you are unrealistic or too detached from practical concerns. They might see you as someone who spends too much time dreaming and not enough time acting on those dreams. This can lead to misunderstandings about your true intentions and capabilities. Despite this, your hopeful outlook and ability to envision a brighter future are strengths that set you apart and make you a source of inspiration for those who truly understand you. You are perceived as someone who has faced hardships but is in the process of recovery. They think that you’ve been through periods of struggle, possibly related to health, financial stability or general well-being. Others see you as someone who is working hard to overcome these challenges and improve your situation. This perception can evoke sympathy and admiration, as it shows your resilience and determination to rise above difficult circumstances. On the surface, people think that you have experienced exclusion or abandonment in some form, yet you are gradually finding your way back to stability. They notice your efforts to rebuild. This can sometimes be seen as a sign of vulnerability but it also highlights your strength in acknowledging and addressing your difficulties. People admire your tenacity and the steps you are taking to regain control of your life, even if they don’t fully understand the extent of your journey. Emotionally and spiritually, you are seen as someone who values deep connections and harmony in relationships. You have a strong desire for unity and mutual understanding. People perceive you as someone who is compassionate, loving and capable of forming meaningful bonds with others. Your emotional energy is often focused on creating balance and fostering positive interactions, which can make you seem very approachable and caring. You are seen as someone who thrives in partnerships and collaborations. You might have a partner right now? If not, when you do have love interests or even just talk about love, you talk about it in a very pure manner. Whether in friendships, family relationships or romantic connections, you are viewed as a person who brings people together and seeks to maintain harmony. They see you as someone who sometimes prioritises others’ needs over your own, sometimes to your detriment. While your surface-level personality and image may be misunderstood by some, it is clear that you are a person of depth, resilience and compassion. Your mind is a source of hope and inspiration, your actions reflect a journey of recovery and determination, and your emotional world is centered around creating loving and balanced connections. These qualities make you a unique and valuable presence in the lives of those who truly see you for who you are.
꒰ Your inner world ꒱
You’re healing and you’re aware of that. You’ve made some transition and you can feel the shift but what I need to tell you is that you don’t realise that you’re over it all. You are over it but it does not feel like so because not everyday is a fun, roller coaster ride. You’ve undergone empowering emotional changes. You have learned from your mistakes and have found the strength to move forward. You might be realising or may have realised that a lot of the love you received in the past was false. You may be realising that the love you felt then was the love that you were back then? I’m getting an acceptance of the fact that you almost always (if not always) got the shorter end of the stick. You’re interested in living originally, being true to yourself, instead of worrying about what people will say or what’s considered to be orthodox, or the right way of doing things. You have a strong sense of blind faith, as in you know that you’ll be fine? This blind faith doesn’t even seem religious, it’s just innate, it’s because you have great faith in yourself and the flow of life. You’re still changing your views as you’re still learning. “Maybe the happy ending was developing humility while still being proud of myself.” You have developed great humility in the past few years. You are going your own way. You don’t really have mentors or teachers, you’re just doing what you need to do, with whatever resources and knowledge you save or can find. While, you are humble and changing your beliefs, you’re not bending to other people’s beliefs because you have a knowledge of the kind of belief system you possess and wish to move forward with. Many of you contemplate religions a lot. You seem to know that there’s a higher power but for you, religion is trying your best to lead a righteous path. You’re also someone who is working really hard. You tend to get consumed by your work. Also, you prefer it being this way, you like to work in a space where you can be completely devoted, in a way you can be completely devoted, in a field that allows you to do so. Currently, you may not realise how much you’re doing because you’re doing multiple things. You should be more graceful with yourself. You lack elegance in the way you speak to and about yourself. You are critical of yourself and feel as though you fail to present yourself the way you wish to. You wish to be more refined in the way you present yourself. You should be a bit careful, you may be building great success little by little, you may end up with a lifestyle that is really hard to maintain. You’re putting a lot of emphasis on prioritisation and time management because you’re balancing multiple projects plus life outside these endeavours. When you work, you don’t just do things, you devote yourself to it, you pour your all into it. So when you work, you naturally end up putting a cherry on top of all that you were asked to do. You seem to be quite busy. I need to remind you that you don’t have time to waste but please take time to yourself.
I’m not sure who needs to hear this but please don’t start your day with TikTok or Instagram reels, there’s a lot of negative content on those platforms, it’s going to drag your vibe down. Your decisions require adjustments, even in your daily life because you have a lot to do. Everyday, you assess security, risks, calculating and speculating everything. You may be struggling with laze right now but despite this, you’re persistent on your path and growth. You have an inner satisfaction and contentment despite not necessarily being happy. You’ve learned how to think about yourself and put yourself first. You’re very reliable still and are willing to work for connections but now, you’re learning how to be more patient and less controlling with how things flow. You’ve also reached a point where if something is interrupting your peace, you just block it and try to shift your mindset to something better. You’re naturally very patient with people so you are keen on not letting those who are takers and talkers, and not givers and doers enter your life anymore. You’re practical and responsible so due to this, you consider the emotions of those around you. However, now you’re at a point where you don’t try to look at things from other people’s perspective anymore, you just remain practical and try to remain grounded within yourself. When you start focusing on the negative, it becomes really difficult for you to get out because it just pulls you in. You’ve learned a lot about life, you’ve learned how to live, you’ve learned how to be in the world and of the world. You still have slips here and there but I would say that you’re doing pretty well. You’re working for what you want. However, no matter how much you achieve, you feel like there’s always more to reach for, please take the time to assess and make sure that your desires come from the right place and mindset. You seem to be greatly committed to your career, goals, study and growth more than anything. As much as you would love a stable and healthy connection that you can just delve into, if you can’t find something, a connection worth investing in, you’re not interested in putting yourself in compromising situations. You’re emotionally attached to growing. You also tend to feel guilty when you don’t work or miss out on work for a few days due to your desire and almost a need to be, and feel as though you’re remaining consistent. You’ve value a bit more of a conservative approach to connections. You value fidelity, loyalty and strong yet humble, and grounded character in both you and the other person. You wish to have connections that are real, that are grounded, where you’re not looking at your phone when with each other, where you write and receive letters, give and receive flowers, and share and buy each other books. The conclusion is that, you’re very committed to and focused on your own growth and career, and when it comes to connections, you only want those that are long term and stable with trustworthy and reliable people. You’re doing well, all the best going forward!
꒰ Your soul energy ꒱
Right away, you’re bound for success and recognition. Your soul is on a journey of mastering inner peace and clarity. You'll face moments of conflict and competition in this lifetime, you likely already have but instead of being drawn into battles, you'll learn to seek harmony and understanding. You’ll experience many conflicts regarding competition besides the usual ego clashes. However, the thing is, as ambitious and growth focused you may be. I forgot to mention in the ‘inner world’ part of the reading but you value recognition and status. So, as much as you may care about these, you have a very grounded approach to these. You aren’t necessarily competing with people, you’re simply just trying to achieve what you want while you are going to have people in this lifetime who will compete with you over anything and everything. In fact, in the past, you may have been accused of being the competitive and inconsiderate one when in reality even your friends have been really competitive with you at some point. These experiences are here to teach you that true strength that comes from inner calm and being cooperative on the surface. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still very competitive, it’s just that your approach to competition is different. Due to how much others have competed with you, you may have felt the need to be competitive in the same or similar way that they were but you realised that you have an inner abundance that you used to function with but have gotten out of touch with. You’ll get back to your original approach to life and achievements, realising that it’s not about winning every argument or competition but finding peace within yourself and fostering it in your surroundings, regardless of whether or not you get what you worked for. Just as the clouds pass and reveal the sun, your challenges will pass and you'll shine even brighter. You’ll stop associating your self worth with how much you achieve. In your physical pursuits, recognition and success are just destined. Your hard work and persistence are bound to pay off and you’re going to have to celebrate many of your victories. Right now, you’re learning to accept compliments, praise and appreciate yourself and your achievements without doubting your worth. This phase of triumph is here to teach you the value of perseverance and self-belief.
Remember, it's not just about the accolades; it's about the journey and the resilience you've shown. Your soul has signed up for these moments to empower you to take bold steps forward. Emotionally and spiritually, your journey is deeply connected to love and meaningful relationships. You are here to experience profound connections that go beyond the superficial. Your soul seeks unity and balance, integrating different aspects of yourself to create a harmonious inner world. The lessons of love will teach you to make choices that align with your higher self and to embrace the healing power of love. Your soul's growth involves understanding that real connections are worth every trial and triumph, and that true love never gives up. You wish to merge with your loved ones especially romantically. You have a loving and considerate spirit that’s very genuine in nature, and you want to love people as if they were you, as if you are one. You wish to work with their best interests at heart so naturally, you wish to be loved in such a way too. You want to love people who see and treat you, and your connection like team and teamwork instead of working with self serving motivations. Your loving spirit is something that you’ll notice, never dies. You continue loving deeply despite how many times you may hurt because that’s just who you are. Gosh, you’re precious, never change yourself. Overall, your soul is on a transformative path, learning to find peace within, celebrate your successes and embrace the power of love. Each challenge you face is designed to help you grow and evolve. As you navigate through conflicts, rise in your achievements, and deepen your emotional connections, you'll discover your true strength in harmonizing your mind, body, and spirit. Trust that every step you take is leading you toward a higher purpose, and embrace the cycles of ups and downs, knowing each phase is a crucial part of your soul's growth and expansion.
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