#overcoming fear-based beliefs

[alandemoss]

Top 5 Jesus-Centered Truths for a More Authentic Life

1. Love Over Legalism Jesus taught that true faith isn’t about following strict rules but embodying love, mercy, and justice. He challenged the Pharisees for focusing on the letter of the law instead of its heart (Matthew 23:23). To live authentically, prioritize compassion over mere compliance. Experience the powerful moment when Jesus appears to frightened Pharisees, challenging their beliefs…

[deception-united]

Let's talk about character arcs.

Character arcs refer to the transformation or development of a character over the course of a story. This typically involves changes in their beliefs, attitudes, or behavior in response to challenges and experiences and how the confrontation of their flaws leads to eventual personal growth.

Developing compelling character arcs is essential for engaging storytelling and characters that resonate with your readers. Here are some tips to help you craft effective character arcs:

Establish Clear Goals: Each character should have clear, specific goals they want to achieve. These goals can be external (e.g., defeating a villain, finding a lost treasure) or internal (e.g., overcoming fear, finding redemption). The arc will revolve around the character's journey towards these goals.

Create Flawed Characters: Characters should have flaws or weaknesses that they need to overcome throughout the story. These flaws make them relatable and provide opportunities for growth.

Initiate Change: A character arc involves change. Whether it's a positive transformation or a tragic downfall, the character should not remain static throughout the story. They should evolve in response to the challenges they face and the experiences they undergo.

Conflict is Key: Conflict is essential for driving character development. Characters must face obstacles, both internal and external, that challenge their beliefs, values, and abilities. These conflicts force them to confront their flaws and make choices that impact their arc.

Show Progression: As the story progresses, illustrate the character's growth and change through their actions, decisions, and relationships. Show how their experiences shape their perspective and behavior over time.

Foreshadowing and Setup: Lay the groundwork for the character arc early in the story through subtle hints, foreshadowing, and backstory. This helps create a sense of continuity and believability in the character's development.

Include Setbacks and Failures: Characters should not succeed at everything they attempt. Setbacks and failures are crucial for character growth, as they provide opportunities for reflection, learning, and resilience.

Internal and External Arcs: Characters should experience both internal and external arcs. While external arcs focus on tangible goals and obstacles, internal arcs delve into the character's emotions, beliefs, and personal growth.

Resolution and Transformation: By the end of the story, ensure that the character undergoes a significant transformation or resolution that reflects their arc. This conclusion should feel earned based on the challenges they've faced and the choices they've made.

Consistency and Authenticity: Maintain consistency in the character's development and ensure that their arc feels authentic to their personality, motivations, and experiences. Avoid sudden or unrealistic changes that don't align with the character's established traits.

Hope this was helpful! Happy writing ❤

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[theambitiouswoman]

✨Journal prompts to get rid of limiting beliefs✨

What areas of my life feel stuck or unfulfilling?

What beliefs do I have about myself in these areas?

Who or what taught me these beliefs? Are they truly mine?

What is one thing I want but feel I can’t achieve? Why?

What do I fear would happen if I failed? What about if I succeeded?

What negative stories do I repeat to myself about my abilities, worth, or potential?

Is this belief 100% true, or is it based on fear or assumptions?

What evidence contradicts this belief?

Who do I know that has overcome a similar challenge? What can I learn from them?

If someone I love had this belief, what advice would I give them?

What’s the worst case scenario if I take a step forward? How likely is it to happen?

What’s the best-case scenario if I let go of this belief?

What new belief could I adopt that feels empowering?

What small actions can I take to prove this new belief is true?

How would I behave if I already believed in my potential?

What would my life look like if I didn’t have this limiting belief?

What affirmations can I create to reinforce my new mindset?

What have I accomplished despite my limiting beliefs?

How have my past challenges shaped my strength and resilience?

How do I feel when I take steps toward my goals, even if they’re small?

What are three things I’m proud of about myself today?

How will I celebrate when I overcome this belief?

What would it feel like to fully release this belief?

What part of me is afraid to let go of this belief?

[redwinewhiteroses]

Messages from the Universe

what you need to know right now

I'm using Wisdom of the Oracle cards for this reading and no tarot cards. The msgs can be about anything from general life msgs, love and romance or career/work related. I'll be including the msgs that are in the guidebook, as well as other msgs based on what I pick up intuitively.

Image 1

Cards I got : Blessed

I think the Universe has great news for you. If you haven't already felt like some major blessing is coming, let me tell you it is. This could be a great opportunity for you or something that makes you realise how blessed and privileged you actually are. You are abundantly blessed by the universe. Look around and you might see something that will make you feel like you're the happiest person alive. You are rewarded for your good heart and intentions, this blessing isn't coming your way because you've put a lot of work in to it, but because of who you are as a human being. This is a gift from the Universe. You don't need to earn it. This is for you! It can be as simple as some loving comforting gesture from someone in a rough time or a warm hug from the Universe. Know that you are abundantly blessed and beautiful in the eyes of the Universe, worthy of nothing but the best.

If you've been worrying about something lately, there is a message that everything will fall into place naturally as if you received the help of the Divine.

If you were thinking of a partnership while choosing the image, there's a message that there is deep intimacy in this sacred relationship that is blessed by the divine. The connection with your person is meant to help you see beauty all around you and to grow abundantly as an individual and experience love and joy.

If you were thinking of receiving a career or life message, know that all obstacles are going to dissolve and your way is made. You have good fortune coming your way.

And I'm thinking you already have the blessings of the Universe surrounding you. You could receive a gift from a loved one or something that will fill your heart with gratitude.

You are blessed beyond measure.

Image 2

Cards I got : Regeneration, Come to the edge reversed

If you've been contemplating taking a leap of faith but fearing it, please don't! If you lost something or you failed at something, know that better opportunities are coming your way. You are given a chance to fix what you did wrong and to fix what went wrong. There's a message to focus on the future, not look back, do not cry over spilled milk and just believe in what's to come. It will be good for you than what you lost or didn't get. You are a better version of yourself than you were before and you have learnt many lessons from that failure.

You might have failed at something in the past and you are second guessing your capabilities, but don't fear about anything. You have what it takes to overcome and succeed. The past is in the past. Don't let a self-limiting belief that arose because of the past hold you from living and winning the now. Be courageous. Be bold. Fear is just an illusion and self doubt is just a coward voice in your head. You are asked to be confident.

If you are worried about the past repeating itself, NO, it won't. You have the power to conquer all your fears.

If you were thinking of a relationship, do not fear about what went wrong or what could possibly go wrong, whatever it is, you have the power in you to create a beautiful situation for yourself.

If you've been contemplating about life and career, and you are wondering if you'll get another chance, an opportunity you've been looking for all this time, it is there right there infront of you, don't let fear discourage you.

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

Image 3

Cards I got : Chop wood, Time to go

So you are asked to be more present. If your focus has been somewhere away from mundane life, call it back lol. Be in the here and now. Wonderful things are happening here and you are so lost in something else smh.

Focus on the little things that make you happy. What's your favourite song rn? What is a food that you want to try today? Go all out in living your life.

Right now you are called to detach yourself from the past and to root yourself in the present moment because there's a lot happening here, interesting stuff and not so interesting stuff, but this is your present and this is a gift.

I see you looking to the past, be it a relationship or some situation that's on your mind all the time. You are called to move forward and to learn the lesson of it and to experience your now.

For some of you, I'm thinking you are not doing what you should be doing on a daily basis, whatever it is and you should take responsibility and do it.

And for some of you, this is about an ending that you need to walk away from, and while doing that you are asked to be more mindful, maybe do meditation and just focus your attention on the things that really matter.

You are completing something and moving towards a new phase, a new chapter and I think right now it could even be the slow life, appreciating the mundane and embracing your daily life.

(This group's messages, I felt like were all over the place, so take what resonates. I have a feeling that many will choose this group😅)

Dividers by : @strangergraphics @aquazero

[astrodice]

What career suites you best based on destiny matrix? (part 3/3)

part 1 part 2

To find out what career suits you best and what can you do to succeed, we have to look at the number under the dollar sign.

note: there are so many different career choices and the options I'm listing here are just general examples based. you're free to choose any career, and hopefully, you don't feel pressured by this post to suddenly become philosopher.

16 - The Tower

People with the tower energy are resilient to change when it comes to finances and career. They face obstacles that affect their careers and finances pretty often, but still they can overcome all the problems. These people are strong, adaptive and energetic.

The most suitable career:

lifeguard

builder

electrician

renovator

Challenges that affect career:

fear of change (the tower is a proof that you can overcome all the obstacles, rebuild yourself and your career)

self-destruction

overestimating your skills

unfortunate circumstances (something that can't be forseen like job loss)

I couldn't find famous people with this placement. If you have it, please tell me what you do for a living 🤩

17 - The Star

People with this energy usually have a dream job, and they can achieve their dream if they believe in it. They are creative, artistic and the public loves them. But it doesn't mean that their career will be necessarily related to art, it may be something more mundane, but it requires a creative approach.

The most suitable career:

artist/actor/singer

designer/architect

astrologer

astronaut

Challenges that affect career:

rejecting your dream

being shy about being talented

being passive

"star sickness"

over consumption

Famous people with this placement: Zaha Hadid (architect), Ryan Gosling

18 - The Moon

People with the moon energy are empaths who have an ability to to materialise their thoughts. The can achieve the most success when they do art or create something material.

The most suitable career:

poet/writer

doing show business

astrologer/fortune teller

psychologist

bloger

Challenges that affect career:

fear of failure

taking no action towards your dream (maladaptive daydreaming entered the chat)

storing negative energy (repressed anger, holding back tears, etc)

escapism

Famous people with this placement: Kylie Jenner, Lana Del Rey, Elvis Presley

19 - The Sun

People with the sun energy are ambitious, energetic, they know how to make people pay attention to them, know how to lead the crowd. When the energy is in the negative, these people can get fixated on one thing, which may lead to burn out.

The most suitable career:

politician

CEO

motivational speaker

global artist

top manager

Challenges that affect career:

pride

excessive demands on people around you

being critical

inaction

Famous people with this placement: Beyonce, Justin Biber, Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, Zayn, Kurt Cobain

20 - Judgment

First of all, this arcana is related to your family. You have to check how you parents/family affect your relationship with money and career. Maybe they have a belief that it's impossible to get rich, and therefore you adapt their belief. Moving on, 20 indicates success in the fields of politics, science and education. Also, 20 can indicate having a successful business with family.

The most suitable career:

journalist

politician

advocate

scientist

philosopher

teacher

Challenges that affect career:

being involved in family conflicts

controlling tendencies

dependence on the opinion of elders in the family

fear of change

denial of progress

lack of education

Famous people with this placement: Priscilla Chan (pediatrician and philanthropist, co-founder of Meta), Tatyana Kim (CEO of the largest online retailer platform in Russia, teacher, before staring business with her husband she was teaching English), Perrie Edwards, Aaliyah

21 - The World

People with the world energy are able to carry large-scale projects. They are influential, open-minded and they are in tune with the world around them.

The most suitable career:

diplomat

traveler

travel agent

software developer

artist/musician/actor

Challenges that affect career:

power abuse

staying in comfort zone

limiting beliefs

intolerance

technical backwardness

Famous people with this placement: Timothée Chalamet, Camala Harris

22 - The Fool

This arcana makes people spontaneous, they are guided by their passions and intuition. They are the ones who can come up with successful startup, business plan, etc. Also, they have creative/artistic potential. The downside of the fool is that office job and schedules make them stress too much, because they find it hard to concentrate.

The most suitable career:

bloger

movie director

startup(er)?

dancer/actor/musician

producer/movie director

poet

photographer

Famous people with this placement: Elon Musk, Kris Jenner, Marilyn Monroe, Donatella Versace

[ash-says]

The Art of People-Pleasing and how to Fail at it:

According to me, people pleasing is kind of an inherent nature. There's nothing wrong in it if you crack the code on how to do it correctly within your boundaries.

It's something that I am personally working on to chalk out a strategy for and use it as a skill.

But for now let's discuss how you can successfully fail at it cause baby you should not play in water at the beach if you don't know how to swim.

1) Learn to say no. That's the base.

2) Develop a sense of self. Be opinionated and believe in it. Practice it.

3) Delight in making people mad and uncomfortable. Enjoy that.

4) Be unbothered. It's okay if someone doesn't believe in your values and opinion. Don't jump in to convince them and sell your idea. Instead you go your way and let them go their way.

5) Overcome your fear of abandonment. Know this thing, when you don't please you are bound to lose connections and people. Cause everyone loves to be put on a pedestal and feel needed. That's exactly what you don't offer them.

6) Observe what situations compel you to people please and pay attention to consciously avoid doing it when exposed to those situations.

7) Ask yourself what you are afraid of? Is it losing the person? Being painted as the bad guy? Or your inner belief of not being good enough? Or upsetting the other person? Reflect!!!!

That's it for today. I want to go in depth with this one but I am not able to formulate it properly as of now. Still I hope this much will be useful even if a little.

[writer-logbook]

My story doesn't have a villain, so what ?

Does a story really need a villain ? What is a stake where there's none ? How can the protagonist evolve when they've got no one to face ?

In which I explain how the conflict can lie elsewhere - and it's a bit more challenging yet sometimes more interesting.

The world, and society in general. They are often a good starting point to create tension in your novel (because everything is most certainly wrong everywhere lol). For example : what happens if you don't share the beliefs of your city ? What choices can make you defy the current order and break the status quo ? It's a convenient way to plot distopian books, but it's not yet a cliché because of to the complexity of the trope and the different aspects you can explore as it is broad.

The complexity of your characters : the personal quest. The famous "You are your own worst ennemy" is a actually very effective in this case - but any other significant event, trauma, fear etc. can be consistent enough to be the core of a novel. I believe the journey is more important than the "plot" or the ending itself. The path of finding answers, healing and overcoming a traumatic event is easy to suggest, harder to write about, yet somehow always powerfull. I think it's hard to be cliché with 'personal quest' trope because everyone deals with their suffering in such different ways that you can't be exploring it twice. (Or it can be something lighter, like the pursuit of an artistic dream).

Various characters, same event. Multiple POVs are a great way of exploring all the aspects of the issue, based on the different beliefs and perceptions that drive your character. For this to be really effective, you need to have characters who do not share the same opinion on the subject. It doesn't have to be a difficult idea to come up with. For instance: in a futuristic world, you can choose what to do with your memories: keep them or erase them. Some people will argue in favour of the process (because you can erase a traumatic event), others will argue against it, saying that memory is what makes a person. In that kind of scenario, morality plays a huge role.

A destabilising event, much bigger than ourselves or a discovery that could shape the future. A destabilizing event, much bigger than ourselves or a discovery that can shape the futur. Think of that sci-fi novel where the end of the world is brought about by an incoming asteroid. It's the same thing. Either you try to avoid it, or you try to accept it, or you try to fight it. Each way is valuable to a story, if you create some consistent characters.

To conclude : we have to think a bit more about what is at stake when no one actually treathen the peace of the community. There's no manichaeism, we have to go beyond good and evil ; the solution isn't clear - sometimes there's none at all. And that's okay.

Thanks for all the kudos and reblogs, I feel relieved to see that my posts are of some help ! ❤

If it's a bit fuzzy for you, let me quickly explain what my story is about, because that's what motivates me to write this essay.

My MC is a priest in a religious town that is suddenly plagued by an unknown and incurable disease. She tries to get used to it, until her family contracts it. She manages to acquire the power of the goddess and, doing so, shakes the foundations of her entire city and society, believing that she is now able to act. There's no villain whatsoever, just a poor girl trying not to see her family dies and who has to face the consequences of her own actions.

[gavisuntiedboot]

Just Pretend (Gavi x reader)

Part 8

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue

Warnings: ANGST! Idk if it's actually that angsty but I made myself sad. Very very brief mentions of kind of hurting yourself but not really? I actually can't remember what I wrote so if I miss something that needs a warning pls lmk

Word Count: 16.0k (fun fact: if you've read the whole series, you've read 105 pages single space)

A/N: y'all it's literally almost 1 am but I need to start this before I get crucified by the cult following I have created with this series. GIF credit @gavidaily

"You... are considering leaving Barca?"

Xavi looked at you with one brow raised. The same girl that had been fighting for her position at the club just 6 weeks prior was now thinking of quitting her job?

"You know Miss y/l/n, we are about to lose Antonio, and with how hard we push our players, we need to retain the largest amount of medical talent possible. You know that we think extremely highly of you and your ability, which is why you were selected specifically for this role. What can we do to make the job here at Barça more compelling than that of other clubs?”

You took a deep breath. You knew this question was coming. You had worked jobs and been in negotiations before. It would be a lot more expensive for them to hire someone new than to just give in to what they predicted would be a demanded increase in pay.

You looked at your lap, sighing with the weight of the feelings you had carried for God knows how long. It had sat on your subconscious, but was now bubbling to the surface, too powerful to be stopped. “Honestly, mister, I don’t think there’s anything that can be done.”

There’s a funny thing about women letting go. Some people call it the severance theory. Men are heavily guided by their emotions, contrary to popular belief. In a fit of rage they are capable of anything: screaming, blows - any number of crimes of passion. So when an extreme emotion overcomes them, be it sadness or anger or fear, they can end a relationship suddenly. Once they return to a base state of logic, that’s when the crawling back and groveling begins. Because they come to realize that her absence is a stronger pain than whatever drove him away. They exist in binary states: zeroes and ones. Either hatred or love. They don’t understand gradients or in-betweens. They don’t understand that there is another person who must also decide to return to the relationship.

Women on the other hand are much more resilient. It’s why we find the most gorgeous muses with the slimiest excuses for boyfriends. A woman will fall in love not with what she sees, but rather what she hears. What she is told. All the flowery, lovely promises about a glowning future, that’s what she clings to in the midst of a gray and bleak present. The soft whispers of “I love you” and “I don’t know how I would live without you” act as bandages, plugging the gaping wounds left by his actions. But her resolve slips the longer those promises go unfulfilled. The longer those holes go unfilled. She begins to see the truth of her situation, and realizes that the road she’s skipped down is a dead end. She imagines once again. She thinks of all the possible ways that he could change and be the man she wants. She searches for glimpses of it in his words, his movement, his aura. She does the silliest, most foolish thing a woman can do: she hopes. She holds on until not even her delusions can be a comfort. She realizes that there is no way for her to be happy with this man. That’s when she finally leaves. There’s no groveling, no tears, no remorse. It’s a clean severance of dead weight. She’s empty, and it lightens her being enough for her to walk away. There is no way to save it. The bridge has been burned and she was gone forever.

The funny part was, this didn’t just apply to men. That’s the thing about emptiness: it consumes everything. Loneliness is a black hole that swallows every ray of light that it encounters. That was your life recently. No light and no joy - not even sadness. You couldn’t feel anything strongly anymore. You picked up little habits to try and feel. You heated your food to scalding temperatures just to feel the heat on your lips. Your showers were icy, the pinpricks distracting you from the desire to cry. You no longer felt strong anger or desire or really anything. The color was slowly draining from your life, grays and sepias replacing the once vibrant existence around you. The beauty around you had mangled into gnarly trees and threatening uncertainty as you foolishly waited for the sun to peak through. But it had abandoned you. The sun had taken its rays and warmth elsewhere, almost mocking you as you shivered in the dirt. So maybe it was time to crate your own light: burn down the forest and start anew.

“Nothing? La, that can’t be true Doctora.”

Your eyes shot up at the title. There was, in fact, one feeling that you still sensed: pain. You could still feel physically pain, and inflicted it on yourself often just to experience an emotion. But nothing could compare to the sharp stabs and dull aches that lived in your heart. It was hard to look at Gavi without feeling like you wanted to fall on your knees. Realizing that you were in love was not beautiful or romantic. It was torturous, like snakes and thorns taking home in your throat. Reality was the salt in the wound; the knowledge that you two were destined to fail before you had began was a pill too big to swallow, suffocating you instead.

“If I can be honest, mister, I don’t feel like I belong here at Barça. I’ve been here for six months and I still don’t feel like part of the team. Maybe it’s just not a good environment or fit for me. That’s not something that can be fixed with just a salary increase. I just can’t tell if this is the place for me.”

Xavi looked at you, bringing his elbows to rest on the table and interlocking his fingers. He wanted to adamantly refuse, but there was truth to what you said. It was evident that there was a disconnect between you and the general environment of the team. You were close to some of the younger players, but had difficulty gaining the trust and respect of the older crowd and the medical staff. Your ideas for treatment were too modern - too far removed from what everyone else was used to. Hell, you were upsetting one of his players, and that was the opposite of your job as the support staff. But he would by lying if he said you weren't effective. The plan for Dembele that you had first presented got the striker back on the field weeks earlier than any other predictions. Your diligent maintenance had prevented players from getting injured as often, keeping the ones you were closest to on a strict exercise regimen, ensuring their continuous improvement. He cared for his players and his club. And if you were the miracle cure to keeping them healthy and playing, then he was going to keep you there, even if he had to tie you to the columns of Camp Nou.

"There must be something we can do to keep you. You're very familiar with the players and the equipment, as well as the workflow, and you're very good at your work. Hell, Gavi hasn't even had a cough since you started here, and he's quite accident-prone. Please let me know what I can possibly do to keep you with us."

"I really am not being shy or sneaky. I really have no demands. When then team heads to the UK for the game against Man U, I will visit the Chelsea facility and meet the staff. If I like what I see, I'll be moving there. I'm just... not happy here anymore."

There it was. The confession you had not even made to yourself. You were at the club of your dreams, living everything that your younger self had always wanted, and you just could not be happy. This was a disappointment that was hard to describe. Everyone always talks about shooting for the moon, but no one talks about what happens when you actually make it there. You work hard and your dreams become a reality: you're on the moon! But the moon is so, so far from Earth. And when you're cold and lonely and looking down on all of the people that could be loving you, then the moon doesn't seem so worth it anymore. When you realize the moon is just a rock, then what hope do you have left?

Thinking back, you recalled all the people that you pushed away to further your career goals. You think of the family gatherings and events that you missed to study and work. You think of all the friends you have lost touch with because they were never a priority. They were never smart or driven enough to keep up with you, and so they were left in the dust. You had a few, but none you could confidently say would pick up a call from you at 2am if you needed help. Boyfriends were even worse. Since your heartbreak in college, men had fallen to the wayside. You justified it to yourself, saying that you just needed to be successful, and you would attract someone at your level. Someone who wanted an equal. But here you were: alone, depressed, and thinking of running away from what you once thought was your life's purpose.

Before Xavi could respond, a loud thud from the hallway distracted the two of you, followed by shouts that chilled your blood.

"Gavi!"

You were out of your seat in seconds. There was no force that could stop you, feet and hands moving on their own accord as you entered the hall and laid eyes on the body on the floor. There was no air in your lungs or your larynx to make a sound, let alone scream.

Why was Gavi on the floor?

Your hearing was shot, like you were underwater. The faces of those surrounding were panicked, and all eyes were on you, shouts and points and calls for action flying straight over your head.

Why was Gavi on the floor?

Your stomach was twisting itself into elaborate knots, coiling tighter while pushing the bile further up your throat. Your eyes went in and out of focus, willing the scene in front of you to disappear. You blinked hard hoping for the image to change when your eyes opened again.

Why was Gavi on the floor?

"Doctora, please look at Pablo - he collapsed suddenly and we need to make sure he doesn't have a head injury. Move!" It was Antonio's hands on your shoulders and shouts that finally got you to move from your frozen position.

Kneeling over, Gavi looked even worse. His skin was pale, and he was crumpled like an aluminum can - limbs everywhere, like his life force had just abandoned him. You had to remove Gavi from the situation and pretend he was a practice dummy at school. You had to pretend he was plastic and rubber, because that's the only way you could go through head injury protocols with a calm mind. He couldn't be Pablo, because if he was, then the thought would have to fester in your head: Pablo was hurt when you had been distant. He was hurt because you had been distant. Worst case scenario, he could disappear from your life now, all because you hadn't been able to handle the proximity like a normal person. Your thoughts were spiraling now, painting scenarios of death and disease and making it even harder for you to stop the tremble in your hands.

But you had decided that his cold heap of flesh before you wasn't Gavi. It couldn't be. It wasn't even a person. You recited the head injury checklist under your breath: consciousness, breathing, vision, vomiting. Placing a hand on Gavi's neck, you felt a pulse, stopping you from performing CPR. The last thing you needed to do was unnecessarily crack a rib. You shook him several times, and received no response.

"Shine a light in his eyes!" "Shake him harder!" "Should we pour water on him? Get some water!" "You're not yelling his name loudly enough!"

You ignored the shouts of the peanut gallery, repeating the list like a mantra in your head. You would have time later to be angry at the staff for their utter uselessness in the situation, but right now, you just needed to keep going. Blood was pounding in your ears as you opened one of his eyelids. Consciousness, breathing, vision, vomiting. It snapped back into place, and Pablo's face was now in view. Other than his pale complexion, he looked perfectly at peace. His face was identical to the night you had spent sleeping next to him - sleeping atop him. His breathing was deep, as if he had spontaneously fallen asleep in the middle of the hallway. He was beautiful. And for the first time in days, it had allowed you to be filled with a warmth somewhat foreign to you now. Pablo was in your arms and beautiful, and you could not imagine how you were meant to go on with life seeing him every day and being denied this privilege. You didn't allow yourself to dwell on the thought. Breathing? Yes. Consciousness? No. That needed to be remedied.

"Pablo, if you can wake up now, it would be really helpful. Otherwise I'm going to have to cause you a lot of pain."

You waited for a response, but none came. You sighed deeply, moving your hands from the supple skin of his cheeks downwards, gripping the hem of his shirt and pulling it upwards, exposing the expanse of his chest. You made out the sounds of taunting and whistles, but they were promptly silenced by staff who reminded the crowd that this was not an appropriate moment for jokes. Forming a fist, you placed your knuckles on the center of Pablo's chest, pushing down and rubbing. Hard. His eyes shot open within seconds, and he threw your hand off, howling in pain. His breathing was shallow and panicked, vision erratic as teammates, coaches, and other staff all yelled questions and instructions at him.

"Everybody shut up! Let me do my job."

That was the voice he needed to hear. As the yells settled to murmurs, his breathing slowed and he began to see more clearly. His eyes fully focused on you, and it soothed the ache in his chest. His heart was racing faster than he had ever felt, causing Pablo to grab onto your shoulders to ground himself.

"Pablo, can you hear me?"

You were here. You were real. He could still hold you and feel you. He nodded slowly, not trusting himself to speak. The nausea that he had felt before he blacked out still lingered, and the last thing he wanted to do was projectile vomit on you. He flinched slightly at the feeling of your hand returning to his face, but settled quickly, listening hard to your instructions. There was nothing easier than focusing on the sound of your voice.

"Look at me." You said, shining a light in Gavi's eyes, checking for any hemorrhaging or internal bleeding. What a silly request, he thought to himself, squinting under the brightness. How could he look anywhere else when you were in the room? How could he ever tear his eyes from you? How could he waste a single second of you before him, especially with the prospect of you leaving at the end of the month looming?

"No bleeding. Are you experiencing any double vision?"

A headshake no. You instructed someone behind you to grab a bottle of water, and then turned back to Pablo.

"Good. What is your name?"

Gavi swallowed thickly, and took a deep breath before speaking. "My name is Pablo Gavi."

"Good. And who am I?"

"Ah don't worry, Doctora. Even with amnesia, I could never forget you." There was that stabbing feeling in your chest again. That feeling that accompanied Pablo's sweet words and kind eyes. The cold shard of reality that reminded you that he would fade away into an Instagram mutual in a matter of months.

"Alright, Gavi. No internal bleeding and no memory loss. We need to go through more of the concussion protocols and make sure you're okay, but we can do this in my office. Are you okay to stand?"

After a curt nod, you helped Pablo stand, and began walking with him towards your office. You informed Xavi of the next steps, and he told you to do whatever necessary to make sure his 'golden angry bird' was okay. But of course, you could never know a day of peace, as each one must be filled with the noise pollution that was Ferran's voice.

"If the door isn't open, just know that Pablito isn't moaning in pain." A round of snickers was heard from both players and staff. But before they had time to add on to the nasty comment, you swiveled around to face the group. You were seething with anger, and one very important realization came to the center of your mind.

You had nothing left to lose.

It was Pablo Torre who was closest to you, and he was the person that received the start of your wrath.

"What the hell are you laughing at? The fact that your teammate could have serious head trauma? Or at the fact that, with Gavi potentially out of commission, they might take you off the bench long enough for you to remember what grass feels like?"

He was silent instantly, eyes wide. He had never received words this harsh from anyone at the club. Or anyone not on Twitter. You turned to two more assistant physios, Luca and Gabriel, who stood next to him, still muttering to one another in hushed tones.

"And you two! Do you want to know why everyone has to rush and get me whenever someone hits their head? Because out of everyone here, I'm the only one that knows proper concussion protocols and how to identify trauma. I have more medical knowledge in my fingernail than in both of your heads combined. I have to take him to my office because you two are incompetent at your jobs! And instead of doing anything useful, this is how you occupy your time: slacking, cigarette breaks, speculating who I'm sleeping with, and doing absolutely jack shit when a player gets injured. So keep giggling like school girls. I can't wait to see you both giggling on the street corner while begging for spare change."

You held Gavi harshly, storming off to your office. Your speed and the bounce was making him nauseous, but he knew better than to speak in this moment. His chest had swelled with pride. He was patiently waiting for the day that you would put the guys in their place. None of them were bad people - it had just been a while since most of them interacted with a woman they didn't want to sleep with. Gavi loved that you were capable of defending yourself, but could not ignore the part of him that wanted to be the one to defend you.

Call it a toxic trait if you want, but Pablo had always taken pride in his ability to intimidate. He had eventually come to terms with the fact that he was done growing at a sweet 5'7, despite his desire to break at least 5'9 (because his friend Hanna at La Masia told him that was the shortest a girl would go for. Looking back, taking this information from a 5'10 female footballer was probably not the best idea he's ever had). It had taken a while, but after weeks of daily affirmations in the mirror about how short Messi was, he held his chin higher. Once he started receiving praise from fellow players, coaches, and media, Pablo gained more confidence in the fact that he could be part of the next generation of great Barcelona football. This allowed him to go up against any player with no worries or fear, winning headers against people with a foot of height on him. Pablo began building his upper body in the gym as well, compensating with strength. A broad and reckless teenager, there was almost no one he wasn't ready to take on.

He sensed that same quality in you as well: a desire to prove yourself, no matter the cost. But he didn't want you to. He never wanted to see you scowl or have to hear you yell (despite it being semi-hot). Pablo wanted to be your knight, whose sole purpose in life was making sure that you never experienced feelings but joy and pleasure. He wanted others to go through him before daring to speak to you. Because how could every person just have access to the beauty that is you? To the radiant soul and shimmering aura that fills the room? How could he be content with you shouldering the burdens of living in this world? Even if he never got to have you romantically, Pablo wanted to shield you from every harm in the world. And not a day went by when he didn't feel it.

This was one of those moments. He wished he was able to verbally berate Ferran for the garbage he spewed on a regular basis, but he could do nothing except let himself be dragged by you through the halls of the sports center until they reached your office, where he was promptly flung towards the exam table. He watched as you brought him your small office trash can, setting it beside the bed. He was brought back to your first month at Barca, when he had challenged you and been proven wrong. There was a confidence in yourself and your abilities that had dissipated from then to now. Pablo smiled stupidly as he remembered the excruciating pain and discomfort of trying not to throw up in front of the pretty physio. If only he had known then that it was nothing compared to the pain of holding back these feelings.

"Lay down on the bed. Look up at the ceiling. If you need to vomit, do it in there." You instructed curtly before moving to sit at your computer. Short nails clicked harshly against the raised keyboard, keys slamming down rapidly, sound reverberating around the room. Gavi wanted so desperately to flip over, lay on his stomach and stare at you. Just to see the curves of your face and the way your eyes reflected the light. But he looked up at the ceiling like you asked, more worried about pushing you further away than watching you type. He took several deep breaths. This didn’t feel like the last time he was concussed. Last time, he had felt his brain rattle against his skull, waves of nausea starting immediately. His head ad throbbed, spots forming on his vision. His jaw was clenched, and he could’ve sworn there was a crack down the center of his cranium, blood oozing out of it onto the practice pitch.

He remembered that day so vividly despite the head trauma. He had been livid, Ferran dragging him to a new and inexperienced physio. Gavi had interpreted it as sabotage to that Ferran could get the left wing back. And then he saw you. Angry that he was he wasn’t receiving treatment by the best, he couldn’t say he was upset to look at you. You were a stunning kind of beauty, young and lively and clad in cool gray scrubs. But you were three years older than him, wildly advanced and talented, and he couldn’t swallow his pride - especially not with this nausea. He could not swallow the fact that you looked so damn familiar. He had seen you somewhere before: those eyes had looked at him with that same distress and concern. But he could not place it for the life of him.

Pablo thought back to how sweet you had been to him that day. How you had encouraged him to take pride in himself and be confident in the fact that he deserved all the success he had seen. He was so overwhelmed that day. His brain was absolute porridge, and he was doing his best for it not to pour out of his ears, all while his cheeks burned under your gaze. He was too preoccupied by his desire to muster one ounce of hatred to replace the overwhelming admiration in his brain that he could not determine where the hell he had seen you before.

And now here he was, once again staring at the ceiling, head throbbing, and the thought came to him again: why did you look familiar? Despite having known you for half a year now, the feeling that there was history had not left him. It wasn't that you had a common face. There was something about the way you looked at him, with a knowing and sadness, that touched a part of his soul. Like you knew things he had never even admitted to himself. While he thought that was just your way of being, he was coming to realize that look was one reserved specifically for Pablo. Now he wasn't nauseous, and focused on the rhythmic sounds of keys being slammed. He poised himself to ask a question, but not the one gnawing at his brain.

"What're you typing so excitedly? Hopefully not your resignation."

You looked up in time to watch Pablo's chest heave with the breathy (and very fake) laugh that he forced out. Your fingers rested against the keyboard, pausing your aggressive typing. How did Gavi know about your plans to leave? Had he been listening at the door? How long had he been standing there before-

"Is that why you fainted in the hallway? Because I'm leaving the club?"

"So you've already decided that you're leaving? You aren't even going to wait until you see whatever shithole you've been offered a spot at?"

There was an emotion that made Gavi's voice wobble, and you couldn't pin it exactly, but it sounded akin to betrayal. You finished the last sentence of your email, the swooshing sound indicating the message had been sent. Pablo bit his lip and stared hard at the fluorescent light. He didn't want you to see the distress in his face, but he couldn't help it. He hated how the dynamic between the two of you had been so warm, so close to the spark he desperately sought, just to go back to how icy your interactions began.

You pulled up a stool to sit next to him, and grabbed a pair of gloves as you approached. You noticed the slight quiver of his lip, and turned away to put your gloves on. The deep sadness in his eyes, the way his body tensed, the voice like a hurt child - was this all because of you?

"I was doing what I should've done my first week working here: I sent an email to HR about Ferran's nasty comments. Barca can't have a sexual harassment scandal right about now, especially not during the transfer window. And if they fire me, then they..." Your voice trailed off, throat closing up. It was still hard for you to process the possibility.

"If they fire me, then that's one less decision that I have to make."

You ran a gloved hand across his crown, feeling for any bumps or lacerations because of his fall. You felt worse the longer you continued the exam, the feeling that this was your fault sinking in. You had pushed Pablo away wordlessly after brining him in so close. But the majority of your brain screamed back at you how selfish it would be to drag Pablo into your black hole, ruining his career so that he could run after a girl who didn't even feel. If the sun in its greatness could not warm you, then how could ask this of Pablo?

"Now we need to talk about your fall in the hallway. It's quite obvious that you fainted but-"

"Were ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to freeze me out until you left the country?"

Gavi propped himself up on his elbows, eyes meeting you directly. You didn't know what to say. You couldn't tell him how you felt, especially not now. Not right before you disappeared.

"Have you ever fainted like that before? What have you eaten to day?" You asked, moving to throw away your gloves. "If you're having frequent spells of losing consciousness, then we need to have your blood iron tes-"

"Are you being serious right now, y/n? You're on the verge of quitting your dream job, packing up and leaving the country, and isolating yourself from everyone who cares about you, and you're asking about my blood iron? No."

Pablo stood, getting off the table faster than someone with a head injury should. He walked towards you, anger evident.

"No. You don't get to change the subject and talk about my iron. Or sit and try and diagnose me with anything. You know that I'm perfectly healthy. Want to know why I fainted? I'll tell you, Doctora."

Gavi was right in front of your face now, heavy breath fanning against your skin. You swallowed thickly, breathing just as heavy as you met his blazing stare. For the first time in weeks, your eyes started to moisten. Why was this scolding from Pablo going to bring you to tears?

"Because from the moment I laid eyes on you, I felt like I knew you. I don't know if I saw you on the street or in a dream, but a part of my brain recognized you, and since then I've been in pain. Pain that you can't even help me with. Nobody can. It's so hard to watch everyone take advantage of you all the fucking time. It tears me apart constantly. But it let me get closer to you. You let me get closer. And I tried so hard to keep it at bay, to be the friend that you need."

Pablo was now cupping your face, holding it like it was the only thing that would tether him to the earth. He rested his head against yours, and suddenly it was too much. All the feelings that had escaped you for so long were coming back all at once, stacking on top of each other and smothering you. Your eyes welled with tears, and you wished the ground would swallow you whole to escape Gavi's piercing eyes looking straight through you.

"But you have to know that I don't just see you as a friend, Doctora. You have to know, even if you don't feel the same way, that I am -"

"We met before I got my job here. That's why you recognize me."

Gavi let go of your face, taking a step back. He looked at you with confusion and hurt. You both knew what he was about to say, and he couldn't understand why you wouldn't just let him get it off his chest. And as selfish as it was, you just couldn't take it. Pablo deserved better - someone that would lift him up, not hold him back. And if he said it, if it was out in the open, then you would never be able to put his needs first.

"The week of my interview, I went to pick up Angelika from the club. Angel went to get her from the VIP section and he left me in charge of keeping an eye on you."

"You... were watching me while I was drunk?" Pablo's brain was processing a thousand things at once. You had met him and remembered him? What had he said while drunk to make you hide that fact from him?

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

There were so many ways to answer this question that you didn't know where to begin. How could you explain to Gavi that you had been so captured by his beauty that night that it had thrown you off your axis, making you wonder if you had died and this was the angel sent to guide you to the pearly gates? How could you describe the intense pull Pablo had over you, tugging at your soul, urging you to stay with him? How were you to say the way your heart broke on his behalf, wanting to hold him in your arms and protect him from everything that made him feel less than the most special person alive? All you had wanted was to kiss him, to pull him in, to never let him go. But none of the words materialized. Because to you, the cruelest thing you could do to Pablo was keep pulling him into you. He was pure light, and you couldn't bear the burden of being the one to extinguish it.

"It was an insignificant moment in a club. Nothing worth mentioning. I didn't even remember until Pedri reminded me when I started."

There it was. The sentence that made Gavi crack. You watched the hurt seep into his features, and a heavy air filled the room. Brows coming together, he looked at you expectantly, waiting, praying, that you would take it back.

"Meeting me was ... insignificant?"

Eyes locked, there was nothing you could say that would erase this moment. You swallowed the lump in your throat, playing with your fingers. You spun the ring you wore around your finger, trying to occupy your mind with anything other than the thought that you were the human embodiment of garbage.

The silence remained, growing thicker with each passing second. It enveloped the both of you, tendrils wrapping around and ripping the two of you apart, fraying whatever string of fate had brought you together.

"You think it was just a coincidence, meeting me in the club weeks before we become coworkers? Friends? Something... beyond that...and you think that coincidence was so forgettable that it wasn't even worth mentioning?"

There it was. The cold front that you put up, the one that pushed everyone away, no matter how hot their love for you burned. You were the ice princess, destined to go through life cold and untouchable and alone.

"Some people you just meet, Pablo. It doesn't mean they're meant to be together. I needed to get my friend out of the club and I just ran into Angel. He left me in charge of you so that you wouldn't do anything stupid or childish while drunk. I was in a club babysitting an 18 year old kid who was pouring his heart out to me while wasted. I didn't say anything to save you from the embarrassment."

That was the straw that broke Gavi's heart. He stormed towards the door, unable to look at you any longer. Had he really been lead on; allowed to believe that you were his friend, or at the least respected him, when this entire time you just saw him as a little kid. His last line to you was spoken so softly you almost didn't hear it over the deafening slam of the door.

"They're going to love you in England."

~

"Your English is very good for someone educated in Spain."

You looked up at Steve, flashing a practiced professional smile that showed no indication of offense at the objectively offensive statement.

"Thank you, Dr. Hughes. I did complete my baccalaureate degree in the United States, but I'm glad the last two years in Barcelona have not damaged my language."

Now it was his turn to laugh uncomfortably as he lead you through the garish blue halls of Stamford bridge. The entire plane ride you had told yourself that this could be the fresh start you needed. This could be the opportunity to turn your life around, and so you should approach it with fresh eyes and an open mind. But the walls were hurting your eyes, the blue and white making you think of Martin in his kit. You were lead into the trophy room, which was a lot smaller than you were used to.

"Here you can see some of the club's shining moments. We have had an... interesting season this year, but you know that performance fluctuates between seasons. We hope to be back on top again very soon, especially with an entirely new medical team coming on board."

You scanned the shelves and glass cases, admiring the look of trophies you were familiar with, and ones you had never seen before.

"An entire new medical staff? No one is staying on?" You asked, confused. What kind of club replaced everyone all at the same time? Usually at least one person remained to pass the torch, to maintain familiarity. It set warning bells off in your head.

“Ah, well, many of our staff members were quite loyal to Dr. Henry, you know he was here for 17 years after all. So they all followed him out. But we are excited to usher in a new wave of sparkling young medical talent!”

You swallowed hard, still feeling from the information. You still hadn’t finished your degree, and yet you were being offered a head position at what was supposed to be a huge and well-respected club. You couldn’t help but think of the blaugrana.

Something flitted in your chest, a feeling that surrounded you whenever you walked into the camp. The feeling of family, like you were home. The coldness of Steve’s answer didn’t spark anything close to that feeling. Not every workplace needed to be a part of your heart, a new family. These days. You had no idea what your family was supposed to be, or if you had one at all. Your brain begged you to ask what the environment was like, how close the staff was, what created such a high level of loyalty that they would all follow this man wherever he went, abandoning club and home. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it, asking instead,

“Do you only display the most recent. Champions League trophy?”

More laughter from Steve, but of the fakest nature. “Yes we have one on this side, one on the other. They’re … ehem, all of our UCL trophies are displayed here.” Your cheeks warmed with subtle embarrassment. You knew nothing about this room or this club, and if you were honest with yourself, you had no desire to. You missed Barca. But you had to give this club its chance – an honest shot to be your new home.

The two of you continued through the halls as Steve showed you all the medical equipment and facilities that would be at your disposal should you accept. At the end, he led you to the players’ lounge, offering you a seat. The blue had given you a baby migraine, and you were incredibly grateful for the ability to sit and rest. You refused the gracious offers for food, sipping on a bottle of water to dull the throbbing against your skull. You searched the room for something, something familiar – a face, a number, to make you feel like everything was going to work out in the end. But it never appeared, the bright colors and foreign faces more of a discomfort than anything else.

"Make yourself comfortable, Doctor. Let me get some of the players that you'll be working with, and you can hear from them what the environment is like."

You nodded sweetly, sitting up straight with ankles crossed in the way Princess Diaries taught you to. As the footsteps faded slowly into the distance, a sigh passed between your lips. What were you doing? Despite the lecture given to yourself on the uncomfortable plane ride over (Chelsea would only pay for economy), it had all gone out the window. Your gut was in knots, and you couldn't shake the feeling that you were doing something wrong.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, and the screen lit up in your hand to read "One Football: FC Barcelona vs Manchester United - Starting lineup now available." The notification had been pressed before you registered what was going on. Your eyes scanned the list just to land on one name. Your mind went back to the last conversation the two of you shared. The most venomous words had slipped past your lips, and you had finally done it: you pushed the last person who cared for you away. The sentiment was harsh. How could anyone ever recover a relationship after shattering it so completely? Despite how much much it hurt to grip the broken shards so tightly, you held on nonetheless, packing Gavi's hoodie in your bag, the '6' embroidered into the pocket cutting open a gaping wound in your heart, and yet you enjoyed its presence there.

"Doctora, I'm pleased to introduce Kepa and Christian. They have been with the club for a while, and they would be happy to answer all your questions."

~

"A scoreless first half here at Old Trafford as both Barcelona and Man U return to the locker rooms for half time. As we saw Pedri went down in those final minutes of the half, and we've received a report that he is out for the rest of the match. His injury status is unknown, but if the magician is out of commission, this could be a very easy steal for United."

The sounds of fists slamming against lockers was loud enough to be heard all the way home in Spain. Pedri Potter, the star, the leader of Barca's new era, was now in icing his right hamstring in some medical examination room, while the rest of the team scrambled to figure out a scenario in which they would win without him in a mere 15 minutes. Gavi bounced his leg anxiously, eager to see his friend and make sure he was okay.

"Listen up boys. We can win this game without Pedri. The score is now 1-0 to Man U, and all we need to do it score once to tie. Then we are back home, our turf and our fans. Robert, Rapha, your goal is to put the ball in the net. I don't care what you have to do. The middle, you need to get the ball in a good position for these two. That means Gavi, you'll be- Gavi pay attention!"

Head snapping up, Pablo's eyes met Xavi's directly. He knew he should be paying attention - this was the first of several games that needed to be won until they reached a trophy. He needed to be on his A-game, and yet, his mind was drifting. He wished it was just concern over Pedri capturing his attention. But in the corners of his mind, your voice lingered. "Babysitting... insignificant... embarrassment." All words you had used when talking about him as he was on the verge of pouring his entire soul out onto the linoleum for you. He didn't understand the anger that flowed through him. It was a sense of ... incompleteness. If you had let him finish, let him say the words that he didn't fully understand, then he would have been okay. He would have watched as you kicked his beating heart against the wall, telling him that you could never feel that way towards him. He would have been okay: relieved. But you had left him dangling off the edge of a cliff, with no relief in being pulled to safety nor mercy in being allowed to fall.

Xavi gave his instructions to the midfield and the defensive line, going over the weak points that needed to be addressed.

"Pedri is most likely out for the next eight weeks, missing both the next match and the SuperCopa, so this is your opportunity to adjust to playing in high-stress situations without him."

Gavi's head raised fully at this. Eight weeks? It has been forever since someone was out for that long. Since the beginning of the season... since you had joined the team. A pinch in Pablo's chest. His brain repeated over and over that the best thing to do was let you go. To let you be your own person, grow and be independent, saving himself the heartache because the one girl he wanted was the one he couldn't have. Yet his heart held on with an iron grip. It refused to release you, reminding him of every sweet moment shared in cars and offices and bedrooms. It was quick to forget the pain of being perceived as a child. Pablo's heart begged him to wait for you, because it was incapable of letting go of a devotion so intense. His heart ached for you, longing for the day he be deemed worthy enough to love you wholly and completely.

"Eight weeks is insane - we have never gone that long with our midfield handicapped. Is there no way to speed up recovery? Who gave the estimate?" Robert asked, wiping the sweat off his brow.

"Luca is the only one from the medical staff who is here right now. He is the one who made the determination. Of course, the rest of the staff will be free to reevaluate when we return home. But Luca will be the one continuing with the course of treatment, and so we will go with his estimate."

"What? Where is y/n?" The question came from Alejandro, followed by hushed agreement. Even if you were not the first point of contact for all the players, you were a team staple, becoming as familiar to them as the crest embroidered on their uniforms. The older players had watched as you performed medical miracles on their teammates that rivaled what Jesus did for the blind, allowing the team to prosper all season. 15 points at the top of the table, and at least half had your name on them. The youngers had felt your impact directly, following your instructions like gospel. They knew how much care you showed to every single one of them, from the starters to the bench warmers. Your hands had put them back together. A touch of you lingered in all the success achieved, and your absence felt closer to abandonment than anything else.

"You should ask Pablito - he would be the first one to notice that his girlfriend wasn't on the flight." Ferran's voice: the closest human equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. After everything that had taken place, it was a wonder he still had the energy to be an ass.

"Maybe you should ask Ferran about his HR investigation, which is a main reason that she's touring the Chelsea facility fight now. Hey, maybe you'll see her this summer when you get sold there. They're always looking for people to keep the bench warm while the important players are on the field." Gavi spoke calmly and evenly, like he was stating pure fact. He stood, leaving the room to avoid the round of questioning that was about to occur regarding HR and the doctora's new home.

The click of Pablo's cleats echoed loudly in the hallway a she approached the medical room, where Luca was fumbling with bandage and his laptop, while Pedri waited on the exam table like a fish at the market. His head turned at the sound of Gavi's approach, and he gave a weak smile to the younger player.

"I finally pushed it too far. Great timing, eh Hermano? It's only a Champion's League, a SuperCopa, and a potential classico that I'll miss. Nothing significant."

Gavi could do nothing but let out a slight laugh, cupping Pedri on the back of the neck. His heart hurt for his friend. This is what every player dreamed of: playing for cups, winning with the team of their dreams. And Pedri was going to miss all of it because they had relied on him to heavily, asked him to bridge too many gaps.

"Please don't say that word to me ever again. Luca, how's it looking? Eight weeks seems a little excessive for a sprain." Gavi knew that Luca was doing something wrong. Or stupid. Or, the most likely option, both. When Ansu had sprained his hamstring, he was back on the field in 28 days under your care. Alejandro had a minor tear in his meniscus, and yet still he was faster than the speed of sound 6 weeks later. Now there was no you. No melodic voice explaining muscle strain and stride length and tissue recovery. Just a stupid, lanky Spaniard in free Barca merch putting "leg hurts" into Web MD and seeing what he can diagnose with this time.

"Why don't you let the medical professionals do their job, Gavi, and you go back to putting your head in front of peoples' feet."

Looking to quickly diffuse the situation, Pedri turned to his friend, wanting to stop looking at the man who might end his football career with a wrong move and an 'oops'.

"I'll just let y/n look at it when I get back home. She'll fix me up in no time. That is, if you give me one of your spots on her schedule."

"Yeah, that's if she even comes back to work."

Pedri looked at the younger boy with confusion. It had been several weeks since he had seen Gavi with his favorite physio. Initially, he thought the crush had faded - that Pablo had found another pretty thing to maintain his interest, and you had fallen to the wayside with the other failed football loves. But Pablo was so clearly unhappy. He was more irritable, spending more and more time on his phone while avoiding the group all together. He sat silently in Pedri's passenger seat, screen illuminating his face but remaining silent.

[Doctora]: Good morning Pablo - running late. Will bring you an apology smoothie

[Doctora]: im going to need you to send me a video of you tying your shoes as proof

[Doctora]: i'll tell you when i see u tomorrow

Gavi had spent two weeks going back over every message you had ever sent him. He watched the way your tone changed from proper and professional to something lighter, more friendly and familiar. Over and over your voice played in his head.

"Pablo."

Pride be damned. He missed you. As he stood behind his teammates, whispers about the staff still whirling around the tunnel, it dawned on him. Barca, the club of his dreams, the fantasy of his childhood, would never - could never - be complete again if you left.

"And we're back in Old Trafford for the second half of this UCL match between the Historic FC Barcelona, and the red devils of Manchester United."

~

"That's incredible that you went to school there! I'm a ride or die for their basketball team, so you already have my respect."

You flashed Christian a smile - a real one, the first genuine display of joy you've been able to muster in a while. Both of the players had shown a genuine interest in getting to know you, trying to sell you on the idea of joining the club. Kepa had gushed over how much he loved living in London, citing his experiences as a fellow Spaniard.

"You're around so many Spanish speakers at the club, you hardly miss home."

Christian, the more injury-prone of the two, talked about his experiences with the medical team, and the close relationships he had built there. All of the medical team had become family to him in some way or the other. It calmed your previous anxieties. Maybe it was just a fear of change keeping you tethered to Barca, and all you needed was time to adjust.

"I think you'd get along really well with the other players, of course, the ones that opt-in to working with you."

This statement from Christian caught the attention of both you and Steve, who rushed over before you could ask for clarification. Opt-in? How could you opt-in to medical treatment?

"Miss, I think that Kepa and Christian have both done a wonderful job of providing just a small taste of what it means to be part of the Chelsea family. We don't want to keep them from afternoon training."

You said your thanks and goodbyes, but before they left Kepa turned to you, as if suddenly struck with a lightening bolt of realization.

"You're the Barca physio that works with Gavi, right?" He asked in Spanish. "He mentioned a girl physio during international training."

Another knot in your stomach at the mere mention of his name. "Yeah that would be me."

Kepa's face shifted, brows downturned and lips pursed. "Let me give you my contact information, in case you have any more questions." This line was in English, spoken more in Steve's direction than in yours. He approached, taking the phone from your hands and switching back to Spanish.

"Don't leave Barca. Gavi talked about you a lot during the break. They respect and value you a lot there - don't throw that away." He handed the phone back to you as you tried to contain your expression, suppressing the shock you felt from displaying itself on your features. What could Pablo have said that would make this man go out of his way to prevent you from joining this club? What had been so compelling that Kepa worked against his own best interest?

It was now just you and Steve in the room, and you turned to him, his skin flushed, to ask about Christian's little slip.

"There was something mentioned about players opting out of treatment?"

"Ah, just a small clause in your contract. Just says that players can choose not to be treated by club medical staff and find their own if they feel uncomfortable. It's all there in the paperwork somewhere. You can call my assistant if you read over it again and have more questions. Now, I know that you need to go soon, but I wouldn't be able to let you go without meeting one of our new signings. Someone else who knows what it's like to decide to make the shift from La Liga here to the old PL. Come with me."

You rose from your seat, migraine returning from the stress onset. What was being kept from you? Obviously you hadn't read your employment offer close enough. You walked through the passages somewhat mindlessly, following Steve with your body as your mind drifted elsewhere. What was being hidden from you?

"Joao, nice to see you again! This is Doctor y/l/n, and we're trying to convince her to make the same switch from Spain to London."

All of your medical education had told you that the masticator and other jaw muscles were voluntary; that they could be controlled and moved when you wanted. Not today. Your jaw went slack, and it refused to shut as you stared at the Portuguese beauty before you. There was no way. How had you missed the news of his move. How unprofessional was it to say 'pinch me' during what was essentially an interview.

"Nice to meet you, Doctora. I'm quite relieved that I don't have to speak in English - apparently my accent is not as good as I thought."

Joao Felix was shaking your hand. You had yet to say anything or even shut your mouth. Joao Felix was shaking your hand. You laughed lightly at his statement, muscles moving independently of the pudding that was your brain currently. Joao Felix was shaking your hand.

"I'm sorry, it's so nice to meet you, I'm just a little overwhelmed. You're one of my favorite players in football right now. I've been following you since your debut. Oh my God."

It was Joao's turn to laugh, a light and glorious sound. You had made him laugh. You wished someone was recording so you could send the video to Angeliika. And your mom. They would both go into cardiac arrest. His skin turned slightly pink as he scratched the back of his head, flattered by the admiration of someone so accomplished (and, as he would later reflect, gorgeous). Despite not understanding a lick of Spanish, Steve knew he had made a winning move by introducing you to Joao. The two of you leaned into each other as you spoke, and he motioned towards the field, inviting you to a stroll around the turf to chat.

All of your pride and prejudice fantasies were being realized in this moment. You were taking a polite stroll around the grounds with a man that you had salivated over while watching football on TV. A golden boy and future champion. He was something incredible. Witty and charismatic and easy to talk to. Everyone says not to meet your heroes, and yet here you were, floating several inches above the ground beside Joao.

"So, what club are you moving from? Can't be something in Madrid - I would remember you."

Lord, this was too much. You gave a silent thanks to the heavens, all the good karma you had accumulated throughout your life manifesting on this day.

"Oh no, not a Madrid club. Just a small Catalan club called Barca. Heard of it?" You teased as Joao stopped in his tracks. It was his turn to go wide-eyed and slack jawed.

"You're the Barca girl physio? I have heard of you! One of the physios at Atleti is your classmate. He said you're crazy smart."

How were you staying alive when all the blood in your body was in your face? How had so many people in the football space heard your name with you blissfully unaware. The smile on your face was not just due to the compliment. Maybe there were people ready to be there for you, and you just needed to reach arm out to them.

The conversation came to a close as you watched other groups come onto the field, preparations being made for upcoming matches. You thanked Joao for his time, once again involuntarily gushing about how surreal this experience was.

"Ah, there's really no need. The pleasure was all mine. I hope that I'll get to see more of you, Doctora, no matter what decision you end up making." Stretching his arm out, pulling you in for a hug. He enveloped you, arms wrapped tightly around your frame in a way that was borderline inappropriate for a goodbye. He smelled heavenly, the warmth radiating from his body akin to a fireplace. This was the stuff of dreams and imagination.

And yet, Joao was not the name on your mind. He way he smelled was beautiful and yet unfamiliar. Your thoughts traveled back to the last hug like this you had shared with someone. To the scent of One Million and powdery deodorant, mixed with something that couldn't be bottled. To the feeling of strong arms sitting lower on your waist. To brown hair and brown eyes and a brown leather couch. To white shirts and white bedsheets. To the soft voice and smooth voice that called for you.

"Doctora."

Logic be damned. You missed Pablo. And then the empty expanse of your soul filled with a feeling of dread. You had made a mistake. So many mistakes. Pushing away Pablo, lying to your friends about how much you needed them. Considering another job. Nothing in the the blue and white had given you even 1% of the feelings you experienced walking into Camp Nou every day. But you would never be able to go back if Gavi was angry with you. Ferran was cattle waiting to be sold. Gavi was a contender this year's golden boy, a powerhouse on the field, a bright star for both club and country. You reached into your bag, staring at his name in your phone. But your fingers shook too violently to press the call button. You remembered the hurt on his features, the way he couldn't even look at you as he passed in the halls. You weren't ready to see [Call Declined] appear on your screen. Instead you rested your phone on your lap, reaching in to retrieve your Chelsea contract.

Obviously, your eagerness to run away from your current life had blurred your vision. On page 22 of 31, there is was in what appeared to be a smaller font than the rest of the agreement.

"Under FIFA and British Football regulation, players may refuse treatment from club-appointed medical staff for any reason, including but not limited to feelings of fear, discomfort, lack of safety, and lack of confidence. Providers will be compensated on a fee-for-service basis, where compensation is scaled based on the number of players consistently treated. Should more than 40% of players request alternative treatment, the club may terminate the contract with the provider before the term of the contract has elapsed."

Your eyes widened, brows knitted together in confusion and borderline disgust. Women in medicine were already at a disadvantage, and that increased tenfold for women in sports medicine. Should the players feel uncomfortable with you because of your sex or age, you could spontaneously be out of a job after picking up and moving your whole life?!

Before you could pick up the phone and tell Steve that he would need to find someone else to fill this cursed position, a buzzing came from your bag. Who was calling your work phone?

"Hello?"

"Good evening Doctora y/l/n, hope that your visit at Chelsea went well." Andreas was Xavi's secretary, and he was the closest thing you would ever get to the cast of The Devil Wears Prada. He was rather cold in the way that he spoke, but never rude. Well dressed and straight to the point - commanding of respect.

"Went very well, Andreas. I got to meet-"

"Mister Xavi has asked for your presence on the flight back to Barcelona to discuss your future with the club. It is of the utmost importance that this meeting occur as soon as possible. So you need to be in Heathrow by tonight at 11pm for check in with the rest of the team."

"But my flight back to Barcelona is tomorrow and I-"

"You'll be fully reimbursed for the cost of changing your travel. We are leaving from Terminal 2. Have a wonderful evening."

Just like that, you were wondering how fast you could pack everything and leave in the next 6 hours when your personal phone buzzed in your lap.

[Pablo]: I know u said u need space but

[Pablo]: i rlly need to talk to u

[Pablo]: can i meet you somewhere?

Heart racing, you typed back as fast as you could with trembling fingers, telling him that you would be so happy to meet him, giving him the address of a café near your hotel. You didn't want him to see what your salary could actually afford (since Chelsea didn't cover your travel accommodations). You let out a sigh of relief. He wanted to see you. He wanted to speak with you. He wasn't completely lost.

~

Packing had been fast - you had only brought the essentials to London to avoid paying a bag fee on the budget airline you had traveled. Fixing yourself in the mirror, you let out a deep sigh. What were you even going to say to Pablo? Begging for forgiveness seemed the most logical choice. You practiced your apology in the mirror, and yet froze every time. How would you respond when he asked you why? Why it had been so easy for you to push him away, to strike him down, to make him feel so utterly unimportant to you and your life? You didn't know how you would respond.

Feelings of the heart are often the easiest to articulate. They're not like emotions. Emotions are straight forward: happiness, anger, sadness, jealousy. Things that were caused by one identifiable source, and could be expressed easily with words and actions. But the matters that went beyond feeling, those were the most difficult to understand, let alone communicate. Despite his form, it wasn't lust that drew you into Pablo. Those thoughts had made you breathe heavy and push your thighs together. The glimpses of Pablo's bare form were painted on the edge of your mind, soft skin and hard muscle, inviting you in for a touch, a taste. It was an exciting idea, but not the one that riled you up the most.

No, it was something different. It was a scene that had plagued your mind for weeks upon end, always causing you to wake in a cold sweat with a tightness in your chest, breaths labored. You pictured yourself laying on Pablo's bare chest, drawing circles on his skin as his heart beat rhythmically for you to listen to. As you drifted off, he would place a kiss on the top of your head, running a soothing hand down your spine. It wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer into him, as he whispered softly.

"Mine."

It was a magnetic pull that Pablo had, a force of nature that you were unable to escape. It could be described as nothing other than desire, like you would make the world stop spinning until the two of you were united. There was a higher force tying you to Pablo, and etched in your bones was a knowledge that you would never be able to leave him. But the sentiments died on your tongue before they could ever take to the air, never to fall on the ears of a certain Spaniard.

As your heels clicked against the city pavement, a sense of calm washed over you. He had reached out to you. There was an olive branch being extended. He was ready to hear what you had to say. Yet upon entering the small space, a different voice called out your name.

"Pedri?"

It was impossible to hide the disappointment in your voice. You had built up the confidence to come here solely based on the premise that Gavi wanted to see you. Your ego had deflated, back to feeling like utter garbage for the way you had treated the person who, in reality, was your closest friend. Before the self pity could fully sink its claws in, you noticed the full-leg brace that Pedri was sporting.

"I'm sorry that I used Pablo's phone to text you - didn't have your personal number, and it would be a little... salt-in-the-wound-ish to ask him for it right now. Especially since you asked him not to speak to you."

"I never said that!" You exclaimed a little more enthusiastically than intended, causing a couple people to glance in your direction. Pedri escorted you to a table in the corner, offering to go and get you a coffee to fight the chill of a London January.

"No please. It's completely fine. You shouldn't be standing with a torn muscle anyways."

Pedri looked at you inquisitively. He had not seen you in a while, especially with you and Gavi not on speaking terms. He had missed the quips and sarcastic comments he was able to catch during training. He missed the feeling of safety whenever you cared for himself or others on the field, as he knew that you were to be trusted with their bodies. He missed the fire you sparked in Pablo, leading to unparalleled passion and unprecedented performances. The air of natural confidence that you spoke with is what brought the smile to his face. Not hesitation or wobble in your voice. No need to consult a dozen others. Medically, you knew your shit.

"A tear? Luca told me it was only excessive strain on my hamstrings."

A scoff and an eye roll that widened Pedri's smile. "I wouldn't let Luca perform medicine on a Barbie. That's the wrong kind of brace if it's a sprain. It's immobilizing. You need something with compression - a thigh sleeve most likely. Have you been icing it?"

"How could you leave Barca when your successors are idiots like Luca?" His arms folded across the table in front of him as the realization spread across your features. You were acting like his physio on impulse.

"How did you know I was thinking about leaving?"

"Everybody knows. No one could focus on today's second half because of it. When I went down everyone was scrambling to find you and call you. Everyone, myself included, was waiting for you to run across the field, bag in those magic hands ready to come and give me a new leg. But then you weren't there. And I was just praying that Luca didn't schedule me for an amputation."

A shy smile and a breathy laugh. You met his kind eyes, piercing though you. It was surprising when you felt the wetness on your cheeks, registering you were crying only after the tears had rolled down to your chin. He brought his chair in closer, holding your hand, and you held on for dear life. Your tears were falling in earnest now, fat and fast enough to hit the table as you used Pedri as a lifeline.

"Come back to Barca."

"I can't Pedri. I've... I've just made such a mess of everything."

"You're talking about Pablo."

"I'm talking about everything. I have a player that actively hates me and is looking for every opportunity to get me fired. Everyone on the team thinks that I'm sleeping with Pablo. And Pablo - I can't even explain how much I messed up. I told him to stay away from me. To give me space. I don't want space." You rested your forehead against the cool wood of the table. "I just want him to talk to me. When you sent me that message I was so excited. I thought he was ready to forgive me."

"Don't worry for a second about Ferran. We heard about the complaint to HR and I'd be happy to speak on your behalf about the dogshit he says to you. Everyone with a brain knows you're not sleeping with Pablo - they all have so much respect for the work that you do. Dembele came to me after the match and told me to contact you. He said your first assignment for Barca was to work on his leg recovery, and it was the best treatment he's ever had." You raised your head, tears turning your eyes red and puffy as they stained your cheeks.

"This may be selfish of me to say, but I would do anything to have you stay at the club and work with me. I can't miss all of these cup games because the physios don't know what's going on. This is everything I have ever wanted in my life. And if you're the person that can help me get there, then nothing, especially not Ferran and the other airheads at the club, are going to hold me back."

He moved to grab your other hand as well, looking you straight in the eyes. There was not one indication that he was exaggerating his sentiments. He wanted to win more than he wanted to breathe.

"And Pablo? Don't worry about him."

"How can I not worry, Pedri. I was so cruel to him. He'll never speak to me again."

"Doctora, don't you know that there's no one on this earth he holds in higher regard?"

~

The terminal was surprisingly quite busy upon your arrival. It seemed that everyone was catching an international red-eye, causing you to stumble through crowds with your small bag and exhausted demeanor. You approached the airport staff, utterly lost in trying to find the meeting place. It was 10:56pm, and you didn't have the money to be missing the company-sponsored return flight.

"Excuse me, I'm with the F.C Barcelona team. Where can I check in for my flight?"

"I don't remember them becoming a unisex team.'' Your expression remained neutral as the staff member chuckled at his own joke. You didn't have time to give a lecture on the dangers of misogyny. "I need to see your Barca ID."

"I don't have my team ID badge, but if you let me speak to-"

"Don't you women have something better to do than try and fuck a footballer? Lord, you even have a suitcase and everything. I suggest that you go home and stop with these little charades - it's embarrassing."

You stood speechless as the man walked away, stationing himself in a different area of the terminal. Behind you, screams were heard coming from the door, followed by flashes of light in rapid succession.

"Gavi I love you!"

"Pedri Pedri! You're my idol!"

"Xavi have my babies!"

Your attention shifted to the security guarding the entrance as the Barca squad filtered through the doors, all dressed in coordinated pale yellow. You speed walked towards them, pace catching the attention of one of the guards.

"Miss, you need to maintain space."

Gavi turned to look at the person that was causing a disturbance. Usually it was a child who had gotten a little too excited to see their favorite players, and often the soft spot in his heart compelled him to give them a picture or signature. It was hard to have your dreams crushed as a child by a celebrity that didn't care, and he was determined not to be that type of person. That's when his eyes locked with a pair oh so familiar to him. He stood in place, frozen as his teammates narrowly avoided bumping into him and causing an awful domino effect. It felt like forever since he last looked at you this way: like you were the only person in the room.

"Ah, Doctora y/n, glad Andreas was able to coordinate with you. Sir, she's with us." Xavi's word was law, as usual, and you were allowed to pass through with the rest of the group, ushered to a more private area of the terminal, the screams of fans echoing behind you.

Pablo watched as you stood alongside the coach, chattering away about God knows what. Eric and Pedri were beside him, making conversation about the new additions introduced in the FIFA update.

"Did you know she was going to be here?" Gavi asked, interrupting Pedri's rant about how expensive different skins and expansions were. He had been desperate to see you, thinking of all the ways he might reconcile once he saw you again. But not now. He wasn't ready to face you - not ready to be told 'no' again. For the first time in years, a cold vein of fear ran through him. Was this it? Were you handing in your resignation, coming to Spain only to collect your things before moving to the gray fogginess of the Premier League?

"Yeah. We had a little chat earlier." Say what you want about the IQ of footballers, but Pedri was incredibly intelligent. He himself had given up a career in medicine to explore football greatness. This meant he was smart enough to have deleted the messages that he sent from Pablo's phone before he did his 78th re-read of all your text messages. He was also smart enough to figure out that Gavi had wanted you practically since he laid eyes on you. Contrary to what many may think, Gavi didn't really look at girls. He was usually absorbed in conversation with a friend, whether in person or virtually, and was not prone to looking at every pretty girl that crossed his path. He was hard to please and even harder to impress. So when he started seeking you out more often, mentioning you during random drives, he knew that Pablito was infatuated.

It was several months, however, before Pedri realized the extent of Pablo's affection towards you. It had been during the international break, when Pedri sat and played FIFA with Nico, the only worthy opponent among La Roja. Pablo was half watching the game, half staring at the illuminated screen when he stood suddenly. Pedri watched from the corner of his eye as Gavi stepped out onto the balcony in shorts and his training shirt in the bitter chill of December. When the match had ended (3-1 to him of course), he followed the younger outside, and found him with his phone pointed towards the horizon. The sun in its retirement had painted the sky the most vibrant shades of oranges and pinks, bleeding into a royal purple. The hazy, circular glow kept the sky warm, and the colors stretched out over the wide expanse of the city, painting everything in the golden light of dusk. That's when Pedri heard the shutter click.

"Since when do you take pictures of the sunset?" He was teasing again. It was always fun to rile up his fiery teammate.

"I'm sending them to the doctora. It's so pretty, I want her to see it."

"Isn't she in Barcelona right now? She's probably looking at the same sunset."

"But it's just so beautiful from this high up." Gavi said, eyes still transfixed on his phone as he searched for the most worthy flick to send you. "I just want to send her something beautiful. I want to send her every beautiful thing in the world."

Yes, Pedri was a smart man. Smart enough to see that Pablo's feelings to you were stronger than he had ever experienced for another. Probably the strongest he had ever experienced at all. He was smart enough to approach Alejandro and Ansu, while Gavi chewed on his lip at the prospect of speaking to you, to organize the seating during the flight home.

~

"Don't get too comfortable, Doctora. You'll be joining me upfront for a chat after takeoff." You laughed politely at Xavi as he boarded the plane. You gathered your things, acutely aware of Ferran's gaze on you while you bent over.

"Have a good time at Chelsea? Try and ruin any lives while there?" He asked, voice laced with annoyance. HR had approached him about your complaint, informing him that they would be asking other players and staff about comments made at your expense. While he could keep his friends quiet, he had done too much to piss off Gavi, leaving him vulnerable to everyone in his camp. His only hope was to get you to leave before the investigation had concluded.

"I would prefer we didn't speak about non-professional matters. Thank you, Ferran." You said, smiling so sweetly he felt his teeth throb. You boarded the plane last with the rest of the staff, Luca rushing past you like he would be left behind if he wasn't seated soon. Glancing down at your ticket, you read out your seat number. Row 6, seat G. Walking onto the aircraft, you were stunned by the beauty of the first class cabin. It was furnished completely with plush leather, with every two or three seats getting their own dividers from the rest of the passengers. You walked to row 6, and made your way across the aisle to the right side of the plane where your seat was meant to be. In row 6, seat F, sat Pablo. He looked up at the aisle at the sound of shuffling, and the two of you just stared at one another, wordlessly communicating a shared hurt. All you wanted was to pull him in and say how sorry you were. You just didn't know if he'd be ready to accept.

"Um, I think I'm in the seat next to you." You told him sheepishly. He moved from his place, allowing you to sit next to him by the window.

"I thought the staff usually sits together." He said, trying to prevent it from sounding like a complaint, because it truly wasn't. He wondered what force of fate had allowed your seat to be placed next to his. Little did he know that fate was from the Canary Islands. You sat next to him, adjusting your seat and the belt, before bouncing your leg nervously. The speed increased when you felt the vibration of the engine, watching the plane move from its parked space onto the runway. You wanted to say something - anything - but your throat was dry and the words failed you. You didn't know what to say to ensure that you would be forgiven. That was probably the scariest part: knowing that the forgiveness may never come.

"Are you afraid of flying?"

You turned your head at the question. Gavi's eyes were fixated on your sweatpants-clad thigh as it bounced at incredible speeds. There were many things you were scared of in that moment, but the plane didn't help quell any of them. You were going to be stuck next to Pablo for the next two hours at the least. The anxiety of not knowing how he felt towards you gnawed at your skin, eating you alive. You nodded your head, because in all honesty, it was the same fear, wasn't it? Flying, falling - all terrifying prospects.

Gavi put one airpod in, extending the other to you. It was a peace offering, the olive branch you had waited for. You accepted it graciously, muttering a quiet thank you as you slotted it into place. Your body turned back towards the window, 'Sky full of stars' playing softly in the right half of your brain. As the plane continued to move slowly down the runway, you felt a hand rest atop yours, bringing your bouncing leg to a halt. The skin on skin sent shockwaves through you, electricity running up and down your arm. His hand moved sideways, sliding under yours to lift, and then proceeding to interlock your fingers. The warmth of Pablo's hand, the strength of his grip. The slight squeeze as the plane began picking up speed. Despite lacking the confidence to look at him directly, you peaked at your joined hands. Pablo was here. And through the presses of his fingers and the soothing motion of his thumb, he reminded you that Pablo would always be here, so long as you would have him.

"y/n, Mister Xavi would like to see you now."

You hadn't even realized your hand was still laced with Pablo's until one of the assistant coaches came to collect you. Gavi had drifted off into a light sleep, waking as he felt the cold hit his once warm palm. He grabbed your wrist as you tried to follow the assistant coach.

"Don't leave." He said, voice dry and raspy. You weren't sure if he meant now or the club. You moved your hand to join it with the one on your wrist, giving a gentle squeeze of reassurance, as he had done for you.

"Don't worry. I'll be right back."

This was your first time on a plane that had a lounge. The coaching staff was spread across all four sofas, drinking champagne and discussing the efforts from this trip. Xavi sat at a table, an empty seat across from him.

"Doctora, welcome back from Chelsea. Did you enjoy your visit?" He asked, offering your a flute that you politely declined.

"It was wonderful. The staffand players were all great. I'm grateful for the opportunity."

Xavi raised an eyebrow at the diplomatic answer. You were not giving him much of an indication as to your decision. He reached into his bag and extracted a medical file, sliding it over to you.

"As I'm sure you saw on TV and online, Pedri suffered quite a severe injury during the Man U match. Pedri is a key component of our midfield, and Luca has estimated eight to ten weeks for his recovery. I'd like you to take a look at his medical examination report and recommend a course of treatment."

You took the papers in your hand, looking at Xavi cautiously. What was the purpose of this exercise?

"Well, I've already told Pedri that his brace was incorrect, and gave him the specifications for a sleeve to buy once we return home. The eight to ten weeks metric is based on the healing with this immobilization boot. Using the correct compression sleeves and ice, as well as rest, Pedri should be back on in 4 weeks. Five if you want to be safe. That would mean his first appearance back would be the SuperCopa semifinals."

Xavi laughed to himself, collecting the files and returning them to their place. He pulled out another sheet of documents, the words "Adjusted Contract" in bold at the top.

"Doctora y/l/n, it has become increasingly evident as I watch you practice and treat our players that you are a generational talent in sports medicine. You have a deep understanding of the body that few others, both in the club and outside, can fully grasp. At Barca, we strive to do everything in our power to keep generational talents in Camp Nou. I would like you to consider remaining at the club until the summer, when contract renegotiations occur. This would allow you to see out a season that you have contributed so greatly to."

"Why the new contract now then?"

"Just a few clause adjustments. Firstly, we have increased your compensation to absorb your living costs. Those will now be covered by the club. The other change is on this page here. It states that your main focus must be on starters, injured prioritized before healthy. So, if you choose to accept, Pedri would be the top priority as an injured starter. You would dedicate all the necessary time to his treatment."

You scanned the document, and it was just as he said. No other nonsense, just the clauses on compensation and prioritization.

"This is all so flattering sir, but..." Your voice trailed off, shy to speak in front of a legend and the man holding your future in his hands.

"What can we do to make this deal irrefutable?"

"The contract is perfect sir. What I would need is a promise from you. Chelsea's base compensation was higher, but the compensation was based on the number of services the medical staff provides. I could be fired at any moment if not enough players were comfortable being treated by me. I felt, or well rather I didn't feel the sense of loyalty, of family, that I get as Barca. And so I would need a promise from you."

"Name your demand."

"When the summer comes and my contract needs to be renegotiated, keep me on the team. Don't try and pawn me off to someone else. This is my team, my club, my family. So you have to promise me that I have a future here, or else I'll save the heartbreak and leave now."

Xavi placed a pen on the table, bringing his chair forward to be as close as possible to you. "Doctora, you are an incredible and frankly priceless asset to us. We were able to hand select you from the best of the best new physios in Spain. Our successes, any trophies and titles, we owe them in part to you. Help me finish the season with a strong and healthy squad, and I swear to you on my life that you will have a place at Barca until the day you die." He stretched out his hand, and you took a deep breath, meeting the shake midway. It felt weird, signing your contract again, but for more money. You definitely didn't expect to be in this position before you've even graduated, but it brought a pride to your soul. Xavi saw something in you. A generational talent. Somebody believed in what you could do.

You returned to your seat and found that it was Gavi's turn to bounce his leg. You sat down, and he followed you with his eyes. After a moment of silence, he spoke.

"Did you enjoy your trip?"

"Very much so. I got to meet Joao Felix."

Gavi's face turned to you, catching the beaming smile that broke out across your face.

"Yeah? You like him in person, or was he a disappointment?"

"He was less... dreamy than I had anticipated. But still sweet nonetheless. It was a cool experience."

Gavi responded with a hum, turning his music back on and looking away from you. His other airpod sat on the tray table, right where you left it.

"Pablo," it was your turn to rest a hand on his bouncing leg, "we have to talk."

Pablo turned to you, eyes sad and lip between his teeth. "Do we? I feel like you've said everything there is to say." He knew he was being difficult. He knew he was being petty. But Pablo could not let himself get hurt again, especially not in front of the entire team. If he was going to mourn your departure, it was going to be in the comfort of his own guest bed, the one piece of furniture he could sleep on for 7 continuous hours because it held no memories of you. It was your turn to find his fingers and slot them between your own.

"I didn't mean it. Any of it. I have so many reasons why I didn't mention meeting you, Pablo, but I'm just not brave enough to tell you yet. It wasn't because it wasn't important. It could never be. You are one of the most important people in my life. You're one of the only people I have left. Please don't push me away."

His eyes met yours, and he knew there was no way he could remain angry. It was you, after all. The person that made Pablo believe in the possibility of a soulmate. The one that Gavi thought of whenever songs about incredible love came up on his playlist. You were it. He gripped your hand tighter.

"Going to be hard to support you from several countries away, but I will try my best."

"You don't have to. I'm staying."

Gavi's eyes widened, face lighting up like a kid who had just been gifted an entire candy store. "You're staying?"

"Mhm. Barca is my home. My family. No matter how bad it gets, I could never leave this place behind." It felt as though you spoke those words right into his soul, breathing life back into his very being. You were staying. Your voice, your laugh, your energy - all of it would be at Camp Nou, waiting on the sidelines as he fought tooth and nail to capture your attention. "And plus, Pedri and Xavi basically begged me to come back so Luca doesn't have to treat him."

Gavi let a laugh fill his lungs and spill from his throat, maybe a little louder than necessary on a midnight flight. But he was feeling genuine joy course through his veins. He was a man on death row with a second chance at life. He removed his hand from your grip, bringing to above you and resting it across your shoulders. Professionalism be damned. He just wanted to be close to you right now.

"Xavi was more convincing than Joao? I bet that would be a blow to his ego if he found out." It was comfortable, sitting with Pablo in this way. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to be this close to him. You pushed up the hand rest so that the two of you could get even closer. Professionalism be damned. They wouldn't fire you while Pedri was still limping.

"Oh yeah. Portugal boy is cute, but Xavi in 2010? That was my first love. I could never refuse a request from him." More giggles from Gavi. You wished you would bottle this moment, eager to make his happiness perpetual. He was human sunshine, and he deserved every light and happy and beautiful moment life could offer.

"The spiky hair? Really?"

"Shut up!" Coupled with a smack to the chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, exhaustion of the day and its stressors finally catching up to you. "Every man looks hotter when carrying a trophy."

Gavi let out a light laugh, turning to hide his blush. Yet another motivation to lift as many cups as possible this season. He offered you his other airpod again, which you accepted, inserting it as a soft melody filled your ears. Your eyelids were heavy, and you were drifting in and out of consciousness.

"One day, we'll need to talk about it properly, you know." Pablo said from above you, voice soft and serious.

You nodded your head, letting out a quiet "Mhm" in a agreement. You knew it was an inevitable conversation. You would have to eventually face the music, let Gavi free himself from whatever feelings were sitting on his chest. But you couldn't do it now. Not with your future up in the air. Not with your feelings for Gavi still a massive tangle of emotions.

"Not tonight." You said to him softly, as he turned his head to meet your eyes.

"No, not tonight."

Your eyes finally closed and you began drifting off. Pablo's arm remained wrapped around you as he leaned in closer, basically cuddling you on this plane. Thank the lord for blessing the engineers with enough foresight to install dividers. As you breathed rhythmically against his chest, he pressed his nose into your hair, breathing deeply. Why was everything about you so intoxicating?

In the haze of your sleep, you heard Pablo speaking to you. You listened intently, hoping to catch these special words that he only released to your sleeping form.

"Doctora, I would wait for you forever. Even when you hit rock bottom, I'll be there, waiting for you with a ladder. You will always have me, no matter what."

~~~~~~~

A/N: Guys I did it!!! My longest part to date! I am so flipping tired. It's 4am. I don't remember a time before I started writing this part. Anyways, we are chugging along y'all! Only two parts left in the main story!! I surpassed my 15k word goal. Maybe next part is 18k? I think the next part is going to be my favorite. I haven't decided if I want the big boom pow event to be in part 9 or 10. We will see. Again, apologies for the long time between updates, but semi-decent writing takes time. As usual, please leave thoughts, feedback, predictions, etc. in the replies - I love reading all of them so much!!! If you notice any easter eggs/ small details, feel free to point them out!!! There are so many and I love when y'all get them. IDK when part 9 is coming out but when it's done y'all will be the first to know. Ok love y'all byeeeee.

Also please comment if you want to be added to the taglist ok bye

*~*Taglist*~*

@l0verl4ne @vibinwkay @anastasia-nova @mxgvmiii @mads-grace4 @bubblebeep69 @katluckybear @scuderiabarca @alwaysclassyeagle @simpingmyassoff @grlwithprblms @lqvesoph @pink-manz @graziemille @xxenia14 @nngkay @icedlattewithextracaramel @gyusrose @vip-access @julianalvarez9 @lavie3nrose @ge0rg1ewaa @i8yul @lovefordilfs271 @remuslupinluver @thattaylorswiftobsessedbitch @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @kaismybabe @notanenthucutlet @fullsun9890 @venomwh0re @renaissancewhxre @gaviandgrizisgirl @altgojo @urmomdotcom5678 @eliseline @invidia-of-alhambra @pixwls @stell4rrrs @80sloverry @car1no-xx @mrsgavira @888bear @kylianmbappee @ivyhrry @gaviypedrisbride @grlwithprblms @dessxoxsworld @user6373738

[mimble-sparklepudding]

Autumn Symbolism OC Questions.

A little list of OC questions based on Autumn Symbolism in North West European Heraldry. Obviously many of these things have different symbolic meanings in different cultures and have had different associations at different points in history - this list is intended more for diversion than serious historical analysis.

Apples - Liberality, Felicity, Peace and Salvation.

What is your OC's happiest memory? Does remembering it still make them smile? Or is there a wistful melancholy when they recall it?

Is your OC open to new ideas and ways of doing things? Or do they treat such suggestions with great suspicion and prefer to stick to tried and tested approaches and values?

Does your OC find it easy to express themselves in words? Or do they sometimes struggle to find the appropriate word or phrase? Are they eloquent in one language, but less practiced in another?

Is your OC happiest when things are peaceful and harmonious? Or do they secretly (or not so secretly) relish more drama or excitement?

How far would your OC go to protect others from harm? Have they ever accepted injury or suffering in order to keep others safe? Would they do so again?

Acorns - Independence and Ambition.

Does your OC find it easy to make their own decisions and come up with their own plans? Or would they prefer to ask for advice or guidance from others? Perhaps they might even wish that another could take major decisions out of their hands sometimes?

How much freedom would your OC willingly give up for the sake of a relationship or family commitment? How much would they give up grudgingly?

What is your OC's greatest aspiration? Is there an ultimate outcome towards which they are constantly striving? Is this something they keep secret from those around them?

Does your OC believe power is best held by those with the will to seize it? Or are they deeply suspicious of those with grand ambitions to hold authority over others?

Does your OC enjoy teaching others and nurturing their skills to the point they are masters in their own right? Or would they prefer to hoard certain strategies or wisdom in order to guarantee their own pre-eminence?

Squirrels - Thrift, Caution and Conception.

Does your OC carefully consider all possible outcomes before embarking upon a course of action? Or are they more inclined to launch themselves head-first into whatever they decide is the best plan at the time?

Is your OC frugal with their money? Carefully budgeting and saving against unexpected eventualities? Or are they more likely to spend money when they have it and not worry about it until it runs out?

Is your OC someone to whom others come for advice or help with planning? Or would their companions or associates laugh at such a notion?

What does your OC most fear happening should their plans go awry or their intended aim be thwarted? Humiliation? Loss of status? Or something more dangerous still?

What is something that your OC would never spend money on for themselves, but would be delighted to receive as a gift from another?

Oak Leaves - Faith and Endurance.

Does your OC adhere to any particular religious faith? To what degree do they follow the tenets of that faith? Are they a believer in name only? Or are they zealous in their convictions?

Has your OC ever had their beliefs significantly challenged? Have they perhaps seen things that made them doubt their faith? Or encountered opposing arguments they found it hard to refute?

How does your OC cope with hardship? Are they stoic and uncomplaining? Or do they whine and grumble? Is their response to hardship an accurate indication of their actual character or degree of resilience?

Do others have faith in your OC? Is this due to their past accomplishments? Or are they just exceptionally charismatic and easily able to inspire belief in others?

What has been the most challenging obstacle or hazard your OC has needed to overcome? How did they manage this? Was it through grit and determination? Guile and cunning? Or simply dumb luck?

Hedgehogs - Thoughtfulness and Provision.

Is your OC prone to introspection and reflection? Or do they not have much of an inner life in that regard? Do they ever find themselves ruminating upon things they would sooner forget? Or do others despair of them ever learning from their mistakes?

Does your OC like to hoard items and treasures? Or do they prefer to have few possessions? How do they feel about those with a different approach to such things?

How good is your OC at remembering small details about other people, such as their favourite foods or their date of birth? Do they find it easier to remember details about people they find attractive or potentially useful?

Does your OC always ensure they have sufficient material supplies or food stores to last through lean or difficult times? Or are they more inclined to rely (or assume they can rely) upon the generosity of others should they run low on resources?

What gift or reward is your OC most proud of having bestowed upon another person? What makes them proud about it? The expense or rarity? The time or effort expended in obtaining it? Or how clever or insightful they were in deciding upon it?

Wheat Sheaves - Plenty and Commendable Hospitality.

Is your OC prone to excessive consumption? If so, then are they eager for food in general? Or are there specific treats upon which they are inclined to gorge themselves? Or are they more focused upon the consumption of drink, illicit substances or engagement in darker vices still?

Does your OC enjoy playing the perfect host or hostess? Are they skilled at courtesy and making guests feel welcome? Or do they suffer others in their personal space most unwillingly?

If your OC could ensure a limitless supply of one particular thing then what would that be? An endless fountain of wine? A bottomless sack of food to distribute amongst the masses? An infinite library of every book ever written? Or perhaps something even more esoteric?

What makes your OC feel most welcome when visiting somewhere for the first time? Do they have specific cultural beliefs about how guests should be treated? Have they ever travelled somewhere with different social practices? How did they respond to this?

How does your OC feel about striking disparities in wealth or access to essential resources? Do they feel such things should be distributed more (or even totally) equitably? Or are they disinclined to interfere with the current ordering of society? Do they believe in paternalism and charity as an effectives mean of sharing the wealth of the rich with those less fortunate? Or are they cynical about this approach?

[soapoet]

PJO pick-a-card reading

Luke Castellan; A message from above

Soapy scribbles: I opted to format this topic as generally as possible since we all hold various different beliefs. Whether this message comes from your spirit guides, angels, higher self, God, any deity, ancestor or passed loved ones, or anything beyond my comprehension, is for you alone to know based on how it resonates with you. I am just the messenger and it is no business of mine who your particular sender is.

01.

Shufflemancy: Travelling by James Spiteri

You're coming out of a period of stagnation. Either delays entirely out of your control, or the sheer lack of motivation has kept you at a stalemate unable to proceed with your plans. You have found comfort in distractions aplenty. A seemingly never-ending cycle of avoiding the next step because it appears so very daunting, then being overcome with guilt and shame, which you again run from, chasing anything and everything which would put these feelings at bay. Now the first step looks less frightening, and you may feel more motivated to journey onwards.

Growing pains may feature, but you are able to handle them well. You may feel inclined to keep secrets, especially regarding your endeavours. This will prove beneficial as it reduces pressure, you now have nobody to hold yourself accountable but you, and you avoid the urge to run away should anybody dare inquire about your progress. Push yourself forward, as unnerving as it may be. You will quickly notice how light you are on your feet and the distance you can go when harnessing the dopamine from simply overcoming this fear.

Do not be too hard on yourself or expect to run a marathon. A little progress is better than none, but do not use busy work as yet another distraction. You have great gifts and plenty to share with the world, and you are destined to inspire others with your achievements and your accolades. As much as you detest routine, try to keep even a small one. Do a little bit every day to inch yourself closer to your dreams. To avoid feelings of uncertainty and your fears of failure, set aside time to sit with yourself in silence and ask yourself why you want this, where it will lead, and why that is where you want to be and what you hope to achieve, the life you wish to lead and what legacy you wish you leave. Remind yourself of the answers to these questions whenever motivation begins to evade you on your journey.

Sometimes a writer can only muster a sentence, perhaps one they will later entirely eliminate, yet they did something. And sometimes all this writer can do is stare at the manuscript before them and give of themselves nothing. Yet they did something. They got up to look at it rather than wince across the room and refuse to rise to the occasion at all. Celebrate even your smallest victories and allow yourself a cheer when you muster even the slightest effort. Do not expect perfection of yourself and know that many before you had to go through trial and error, and learn and adapt along the way. That is perfectly okay and you do not need a doctorate straight out of the womb to be good enough.

02.

Shufflemancy: Kiss the rain by Yiruma

You must cease this pattern of giving up your energy so easily to so many who are not deserving of your time. When bad news arrive, it is fine to feel whichever way you feel, but anchoring your emotions to this negativity will suck you dry of the life force that you need to shine. You are allowed to have boundaries and you are encouraged to enforce them and guard them closely. Those who would trespass should know punishment swiftly. Do not tolerate things you do not tolerate truly. Do not quietly hope unfortunate things go away and that people notice your discomfort and stop what they're doing that is harming you.

Stand up for yourself and make your thoughts and feelings heard. It is also not your duty or responsibility to translate a simple no or a stop to people wilfully ignorant and always finding a justification for their words and actions. No is a full sentence. Anybody who fails to internalize this fact and look in the mirror to reflect and to change any behaviour that's lead them to ignore this simple command is not a headache to take as yours. You should be unapologetic in your selfcare and demand space when you need it. Set aside your fears and shoo away any prowling feelings of shame and guilt. If you would be happier alone than in bad company, seek solitude and cut off what no longer serves you.

There are lessons some learn only upon a collapse. You may pray for a change of heart and hope for the sun to shine again, but you do not need to weather storms that are not yours to experience. You're not a bad person for stepping back and saying enough is enough in a situation that only causes you distress. Those who need help must want it and ask for it. You can promise to be there when they're ready and aid in their recovery, and still express to them the grief that they have caused you. Sometimes people need to be faced with the harsh truth. The pain and the agony and sleepless nights which they have brought upon you and others and be shown they could truly lose it all lest they stop and strive to do and be better.

If somebody truly needs help and you do not have the heart to abandon them, seek assistance. You need not be alone in a quest which requires more than you alone have to give. There are many sources of help and even more solutions once more hands are there to help, and you only have two and are allowed to seek extra pairs to aid you in this task. You are commended for your resilience and your kind heart. It may break and bleed often, and you must know that things will get better. These rough waters will calm soon enough and you will find peace.

03.

Shufflemancy: Ballerina by Yehezkel Raz

You don't need to run so fast. You have all the time in the world to make the changes that you want and need. Slow down and allow yourself to breathe. You have been much too hard on yourself and allowed everything outside of you to weigh you down. Shelf some burdens that were never yours to carry and make the choice to serve yourself for a change. Be gentle with yourself and listen to your own body and soul, and act according to that which is truly in your best interest. You are your own worst enemy when you let the beasts feed upon your negative self talk and your fixations on perceived failures.

Know that you have no more need for tips and tricks and new methods to your madness. You already have everything that you need, and no tool beyond your own consciousness is required. You could paint cathedral ceilings with just your imagination, so cease your struggle and let yourself be carried by the stream. Do not waver in your convictions, and do not let doubt lead you astray. Stick to what you know in your heart to be true and cast away every inkling of worry and fear.

You need to learn to let life happen to you rather than holding the reins so tightly you vitiate the opportunity to experience the present moment altogether. The present is all we really have, so try your best to cling neither to the past or the future. We all have regrets behind us, and wishes for the future, but it is the present moment which we truly have control over and get to experience.

Let go of any unhealthy dependencies you may have allowed to take root in your garden. Whether this is a person, a habit, or a situation, if it isn't doing you any good in the long-term, do your best to weed it out so that more energy may be received by the things you do wish to grow and nurture. If you feel unqualified to tackle some of this gardening, do not hesitate to ask for help and guidance from gentle people who will understand how delicate some situations may be. You do not need to tolerate fear mongering or unnecessary pressure, time constraints or misplaced ultimatums. Be direct with what you need and the tone and feel you wish to engage in so that you do not end up feeling cornered and threatened so much that you refuse any help at all in favour of protecting yourself from harsh criticism and judgement.

[batmanlovesnirvana]

— How Faith Shapes Superman’s Identity | analysis

SUPERMAN is best known for his incredible superpowers, such as super strength and invulnerability, but an often overlooked aspect of his character is his faith. This belief system plays a crucial role in shaping his moral compass and can even provide practical advantages in challenging situations, giving him an edge over other non-believing heroes like Batman, who also may not share the same convictions.

Though Superman was created by two Jewish writers, he was raised by Jonathan and Martha Kent, a Christian couple who instilled in him a sense of morality and ethics. However, Superman's faith is not rigidly tied to any specific religion. Instead, based on his extensive experiences as a superhero, he believes in a higher power or a God-like force. This broader spiritual outlook allows him to reject specific religious doctrines, such as the concept of Hell, which he doesn't believe exists. Interestingly, in Jewish teachings, Hell—or "Gehinnom"—isn't seen as a physical place of eternal suffering but rather as an intense feeling of shame for one's misdeeds. This spiritual anguish, a temporary state, serves to purify the soul. This concept resonates with Superman’s beliefs, acknowledging a higher moral accountability without subscribing to the idea of a punitive Hell, subtly nodding to his creators' Jewish heritage.

This belief becomes particularly significant in *Batman/Superman: World's Finest #3*, written by Mark Waid and illustrated by Dan Mora. In the story, the villain Felix Faust traps Superman, Batman, and Billy Batson in an illusion designed to mimic Hell. The illusion is so convincing that Batman struggles to cope with the experience. In contrast, Superman remains calm and composed. His serenity allows him to see through the illusion and identify Faust's location, ultimately disrupting the sorcerer's magic.

Superman's super-hearing aids him in pinpointing Faust's position, but his composure stems from a deeper source: his conviction that a benevolent God would not create a place of eternal torment like Hell. This strong belief prevents him from being psychologically manipulated by Faust's magic. For Superman, the idea that Hell does not exist is a fundamental part of his worldview, which gives him clarity in situations where others might falter.

This incident highlights the practical benefits of Superman's faith, especially since he is typically vulnerable to magic. Magic users often try to exploit heroes' fears, but Superman's strong conviction acts as a shield against such psychological attacks. Unlike Batman, who, despite being an atheist and not believing in Hell, still falls prey to the illusion, Superman's firm belief provides a unique form of resilience. This suggests that merely not believing in something isn't enough; it takes a strong and positive faith to withstand such deceptive tactics.

Superman's religious beliefs are a key component of what makes him a remarkable hero. While his physical powers allow him to confront threats far beyond the capacity of ordinary humans, it is his unwavering commitment to justice and morality that truly defines him. Without this deep-seated faith, Superman might be more susceptible to believing in a punitive and unjust concept of Hell.

Even if future storylines in DC Comics depict his son Jon as an atheist, it is evident that faith remains a core aspect of Clark's character. Superman's belief in the non-existence of Hell not only strengthens his resolve but also serves as a vital tool in overcoming villainous deceptions, proving that his spiritual beliefs are as significant as his more tangible superpowers.

A.N : any other opinions are welcome. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment or reblog, I would appreciate it :)

Also should I do the same for Bruce/Batman ?

[neotomiccccc]

All Saints Street Infection Au!

I know I cant be the only one whose tiktok fyp is full of mlp infection videos atm and if theres one thing i love its SMASHING my interests together like theyre fucking cymbals SO HERES THE FIRST POST OF MY WSJ VIRUS/APOCALYPSE AU...

The breakdown is this:

A virus breaks out which can affect humans and monsters alike. There is no known cure except for swift amputation of the infected area. Once a certain amount of time has passed, it's too late for this to happen, and the diseased will slowly succumb to a mutated state, before finally death.

Angels, for the first few weeks of the viruses existence, are found to be naturally immune to the disease. It's theorised that this is because of their purifying properties.

Neil is infected with the disease by the fourth week since the outbreak, and by week five is in the middle stages. He hasn't told anyone out of fear, and also out of denial and the belief he'll just get better. He doesn't. At some point, he struggles to hide his symptoms anymore and Lily is the one to discover his infection. Together they make the difficult decision that Lily will have to kill Neil as an act of mercy before he gets any worse and becomes dangerous. Lynn hears Lily crying, and finds her sobbing over Neil's body. The two return to camp and are forced to tell Nick what happened - they are unable to bring Neil back with them because of the infection risk.

Lily has taken the role of defending the makeshift camp from the mutated late-stage diseased. She is ambitious, but Neil's death is traumatic for her and she often finds her brain foggy and dull where she used to be concentrated and sharp. After a small injury, Lynn begs and even forbids Lily from fighting off the diseased until she is fully healed, but Lily can't cope with the thought of putting more people, especially her brother, in danger by not fighting. While defending the base, Lily becomes overwhelmed and while her death is brutal, it is at the very least, swift.

Nick is bitten on the lower leg very early on, and Lynn has to amputate in order to stop the disease from spreading. This is successful, but it does leave Nick with a severe disadvantage. Despite this, he is very resourceful, a fast thinker and a great resource at the base. After Neil's death, he goes into denial, partially blaming himself for not keeping a closer eye on his little brother. As time goes on, the nightmares and dreams about Neil become too much for him, and he almost stops sleeping altogether. This only furthers his worsening mental health, and he slowly becomes more impulsive and aggressive.

Lynn originally served as a medic and healer for the group, being the one to deal with wounds and examine potential infections. Despite being the most calm and put-together individual at the start of the outbreak, he suffers a brutal downfall. Shortly after the news comes out that the virus has mutated so that angels are no longer immune, Lynn loses the vast majority of his wings to a mutant - and only a few days after, Lily is killed in a similar incident. After losing Lily and suffering severe physical and psychological trauma, Lynn is reduced to a state where he very rarely speaks or does anything other than stare off into the distance. Nick and he still spend a lot of time together despite this, even if there is not much conversation to be had.

Characters that I haven't drawn in this AU yet:

Abu's anxieties become his saviour - by barricading himself in his own shelter and rarely leaving, Abu manages to survive despite minor injuries through sheer isolation. This does mean however, that he is needed more and more as others begin to succumb to the illness. Will he be able to overcome his fear, or is it better to stay holed up until a cure is found?

Ira gets infected during the fifth week, but the virus goes unnoticed in him for quite a while, as he does not show regular symptoms and is a bit of an anomaly. He also does not know he has been infected until he begins to lose himself. By the time Ira knows what's happening, he's already too far gone.

Damao is infected by a stray dog very early into the outbreak. He quickly notices his body beginning to rot and fearing for the safety of his friends, he runs away and goes into hiding. The next time the group sees damao, he has to fight for internal control in order not to hurt anyone, and does so for just enough time for the group to escape. The time after that, the group run into a horribly mutated monster that barely resembles a canine anymore.

Luis is confused at first about his potential immunity - he's already a zombie, but as it would seem, this virus is a different beast entirely, so he's not as immune as he thought. He manages to last a while, despite losing several body parts, but he too eventually is infected by a mutant, and transforms before the group.

Momo was one of the first to be infected, catching the virus from a stray cat. She is the reason that the group realise the severity and true horror of the virus - seeing her mutilated state is enough to convince anyone to abandon the city and run for a rural area to go into hiding.

Crystal is tough and is used to fighting. She doesn't hesitate to put mutants out of their misery, even though their screams haunt her later. By virtue of her toughness and perseverance, she is able to be one of the few survivors, but she struggles to deal with the amount of blood on her hands, even if she knows it was the only thing she could have done.

[misshoneyimhome]

250 FOLLOWERS FESTIVAL

“Shhh… I’m here” I Frederik Andersen

Summary: Being Frederik Andersen's girlfriend isn't always a walk in the park. Especially when he's been through health problems and struggles to open up about his feelings. But when you're deeply in love, there's only one question that truly matters.

Tropes & warnings; establishd relationship; soft!Freddie; no warnings;

Other notes; Wrapping up the "250 FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION" with some (short) good old-fashioned Freddie fluff 🌺 Thank you all so much for joining in the festivities! It's been an absolute pleasure! 🥂

Word count; 1.5K

➼｡ﾟ

On a night in late February, Freddie shifted in bed, his breaths coming in shallow gasps. Beads of sweat were glistening on his forehead, his hands trembling as he clutched the sheets. The nightmares had returned, tormenting him relentlessly in the dead of night.

Sensing his distress, you stirred awake beside him, and with a soft tone of voice, you reached out, your hand finding his damp skin, offering a reassuring touch. "Freddie," you whispered gently, trying to bring him back to the present. "It's alright. Shh... I'm here."

His eyes flickered open, fear and confusion clouding them, as it took him a moment to realise you were there, to see the familiar outline of your face illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the curtains.

"Y/N..." His voice cracked, his throat dry from the remnants of his nightmare. "I... I had a nightmare..”

You did your best to pull him into your arms, holding him close, providing the warmth and security he desperately craved. His large frame enveloped by your small embrace. “Hey, you know you don't have to face this on your own," you murmured, planting a soft kiss on his forehead. "I'm right here with you, Freddie. Always."

The larger goaltender clung to you tighter, seeking comfort in the safety of your embrace. "I'm scared," he confessed, his voice barely audible.

And you knew just how difficult it was for Freddie to acknowledge his fears, to allow himself to be open and vulnerable. He had always been stoic, keeping his emotions tightly held, even from you at times. But you had persisted, gently encouraging him to share, and reassured him that it was safe to lower his guard, especially with you.

It hadn’t exactly been a straightforward journey for the two of you. There were times when he pushed you away, his defences solid as he battled his inner demons. Yet, you remained unwavering, refusing to abandon him, believing in him even when he couldn't find belief in himself.

It had been some of the fiercest battles between the two of you. Despite only being in a committed relationship for just about two years, it had truly tested your limits. Yet, interestingly enough, it had also drawn you a lot closer to each other.

You emphasised that your choice to be with him wasn't based on his career, but solely on your love for him. And this had encouraged him to gradually open up. Step by step, he let down his guard, sharing his fears and doubts with you. It was a journey marked by setbacks and trials, but with each step forward, your bond deepened, fortified by the trust and intimacy you cultivated together.

And as he trembled in your embrace, his barriers crumbling beneath the weight of his nightmares, you held him tight, grateful for the progress you'd made. Though, you knew there would still be obstacles ahead, moments of uncertainty and apprehension, you were confident you could face whatever challenges lay ahead with each other's support.

"I know you’re scared,” you replied softly, your own heart heavy with empathy for the vulnerability in his voice. "But you're strong, Freddie. You've battled through so much already. And I know you can overcome this too."

As he gradually began to relax, you couldn't help but reflect on the journey you both had endured. The uncertainty, the fear, and the relentless determination that had led you to this moment.

Since Freddie's diagnosis with the blood clot issues, it had been a challenging journey. The uncertainty of whether he'd ever play hockey again had loomed over both of you like a shadow. Yet, through it all, you remained steadfast by his side, offering unwavering support and love.

There had been countless nights like this, where nightmares shattered his sleep, leaving him shaken and disoriented. And each time, you had been there to dispel the darkness, reminding him that he wasn't alone.

Minutes passed in silence, interrupted only by the steady rhythm of your breaths and the gentle reassurance you whispered into his ear. Eventually, his heartbeat slowed, his body relaxing against yours as sleep reclaimed him.

You held him tightly, aware of the turmoil in his head but resolute in your commitment to face any challenges together. As the night enveloped you in its quiet embrace, you knew that together, you were stronger than any obstacle that may come your way.

**

The next evening, as the moon once again cast its gentle glow through the window, Freddie's demeanour had shifted. The tension from the previous night had dissipated, replaced by a quiet determination tinged with nervous anticipation.

Seated together in the cozy embrace of the evening during a romantic dinner at your shared home, every detail spoke volumes of intimacy and love. The dining table was adorned with flickering candles, their warm light dancing across delicate china and sparkling silverware. A bouquet of fresh flowers graced the centre, their sweet fragrance mingling with the aroma of the meal you had prepared together.

It wasn’t particularly anything out of the ordinary, as Freddie had a tendency to try and make up for his distressful behaviour through nothing but romance.

However, as you both savoured the delicious meal, Freddie suddenly took a deep breath, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering intensity. Flashing him a sweet smile, you waited patiently for him to speak his mind. 

"Y/N," he began, his voice steady but tinged with vulnerability. "There's something I want to ask you."

Your heart quickened slightly, feeling the weight of his words as you watched him closely, a sense of anticipation filling the air between you.

"I've been thinking a lot," Freddie continued, his fingers nervously intertwining with yours. "About us, about our future together."

A smile spread across your face, warmth flooding your chest at the sincerity in his words. Yet you weren’t entirely sure where he was going with it.

"I know I haven't always been great at expressing myself," he confessed, his gaze briefly drifting away before returning to meet yours. "But you've been my rock, through thick and thin. And I can't imagine facing life's challenges without you by my side."

The tender admission stirred a rush of emotion within you, your heart swelling with love for the man sitting before you. "Freddie, you don't have to say this," you assured him, reaching out to cup his cheek gently. "I just want you to be happy."

But Freddie's determination persisted, a glint of resolve in his eyes as he took another steadying breath. "I know , Y/N, but there's something more I need to say," he insisted, his voice soft yet resolute.

With bated breath, you waited quietly, hanging onto his every word, captivated by the vulnerability he was revealing.

"I've come to realise that I've held back too much, that I've let fear keep me from fully expressing how I feel," Freddie confessed, his gaze locking onto yours with unwavering intensity. "But I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be honest with you, to show you just how much you mean to me."

Tears welled in your eyes at his heartfelt confession, the depth of his emotions washing over you like a tidal wave. "Freddie..."

Taking a deep breath, Freddie reached into his pocket, producing a small velvet box. And with a determined yet trembling hand, he rose from his seat and walked over to your side of the table. There, bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the window, he knelt beside you, his eyes never leaving yours.

With another deep breath, he opened the box, revealing a delicate ring nestled within its plush confines. The glimmer of the candle lights danced upon the polished diamond.

Taken aback by his actions, your breath caught in your throat as you beheld the ring, its beauty only surpassed by the love and sincerity radiating from Freddie's gaze. Every line and curve of the ring seemed to speak of his devotion, a silent hint of how he’d chosen it carefully and with a lot fo thought.

"Y/N Y/L/N," Freddie began, his voice a gentle whisper, "will you marry me?"

Emotion swelled within you, a flood of joy and gratitude threatening to overwhelm your senses. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you nodded, unable to find the words to express the depth of your love for him.

"Y-yes, Freddie," you managed to choke out, your voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, I will marry you."

A radiant smile spread across Freddie's face, illuminating the room with its warmth as he slipped the ring onto your finger. It fit perfectly, a symbol of the bond that bound your hearts together.

“It’s not too soon?” He questioned nervously, hints in his eyes of concern he’d scared you away.

But you simply shook your head. “No, not at all,” you chuckled lightly. “Freddie with all we’ve been through, I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”

And in that moment, as you sealed the engaging a kiss, and held each other close, surrounded by the quiet beauty of the night, you knew that your love was a force to be reckoned with. Gazing into each other's eyes, filled with love and promise, you knew that your journey together was just beginning, a path paved with endless possibilities and boundless love. 

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: your tertiary karmic lesson, what you have to overcome in order to find love, and the sacral chakra

the number we are focusing on today is based on the SUM OF YOUR PRIMARY KARMIC LESSON NUMBER AND YOUR COMFORT ZONE NUMBER - ex: my number is 9 (21 + 6 = 27 -> 2 + 7 = 9 (as always, remember to reduce numbers that total more than 22).

but what does this number mean?

as this number is still part of the karmic tail, it is one of the karmic lessons we must overcome in this lifetime. more specifically, this is the tertiary lesson we will need to learn - it's not the primary one (which we spoke about perviously) but it is still important for our lifetime. particularly because this is the first number in what is referred to as the relationship channel. this first number is about what we must overcome to find love in this lifetime - because this a karmic number as well, this typically is something in a past life that cause our relationships to fail and thus this lifetime we must overcome this obstacle in order to find true love. this number also represents the sacral chakra - which is about creativity, sensuality, and sexuality. given the other meanings of this number discussed, this makes sense. when unblocked a person is sensual, creative, emotionally healthy, a divine feminine, and at peace/balanced. when blocked this number has emotional wounds that are uncared for, they have a lot of secrets, they fear judgement, they repress their feelings, they are unable/unwilling to experience emotional or sexual intimacy, they feel lonely, and/or lack creative inspiration.

let's talk examples:

6 - the lovers

click here for the card description of the lovers found in a prior wyrd web post.

6s in a past life may have been in a relationship in which there was a lack of balance - one person had more power than the other and they likely abused this power. they could have been this person or they could have been the other person and struggled with codependency or even they worshiped power abusive person and were too submissive in the relationship. the point is they relied too heavily on their significant other to do what they wanted them to or did too much for their partner without compromise. they likely stayed in dissatisfying relationships because they were afraid to be alone.

in this lifetime 6s must overcome instant gratification (they are often victims of insta-love tropes and are involved in love-bombing) and external pleasure. they have to chose healthy divine love over codependency and complacency - just because it is a relationship they are comfortable in does not mean they should stay in it. the universe is literally asking them to leave the relationships they know are unbalanced and trust that the universe will bring them a relationship in which both they and the other person are emotionally available. they must realize that they can't or shouldn't rely on a partner to fulfill their needs (they may have high and unrealistic ideas about love and partnerships) and that true happiness is an inside job.

blocked 6s rely too heavily on their partners and push unfair and high expectation on to them (some may have little to no expectations - which is also not good). they are often unhappy with themselves and look for others to validate them instead of doing internal work. they may rely too heavily on their masculine (needing to be in control, being a provider, asking others out, etc.) or feminine (submission, waiting for the other party to make a move, etc.) energy instead of balancing the two. they may not know their values and beliefs in what a relationship should be. they may be the type who believes everyone is their soulmate - this too has a way of holding people back in their journey to finding a true relationship.

unblocked 6s are romantically and emotionally available. like the image on the card they are willing to be vulnerable - they don't have anything to hide from those they are in a connection with. they don't keep secrets in their connections as they believe in transparency between parties. they don't force connections with the person they are in a connection with instead they love the person as they are in that moment. they do not rely on a partner to fulfill their needs; they do things for themselves. they neither have unrealistically high nor low/nonexistent expectations within a relationship. they are okay with being alone - they trust the universe is bring them the person they need most in this lifetime.

9 - the hermit

click here for the card description of the hermit found in a prior wyrd web post.

9s in a past life were likely afraid of relying on or trusting those around them - they had the tendency to isolate themselves from others. they relied too much on themselves and likely had a biased outlook on life believing they were the only ones to see the world as it truly is. they feared abandonment so they abandoned others before they could be abandoned themselves. they were unwilling to be supported by others.

in this lifetime 9s must overcome isolation. it is likely they have attachment issues and fear connecting with others so they tend to avoid putting themselves out there to possibly receive love. while time alone is good for healing - even that shouldn't be done alone by them, they should have a therapist - there is such thing as too much time spent alone. on the other end of the spectrum, they may fear being alone and stay in unhealthy relationships to avoid being alone with themselves. they need to abandon the relationships they stay in simply so they aren't alone and do internal work so they can have healthier connections in the future. that isn't to say they aren't in the correct relationship now - if it is the right person / right relationship, their partner should not mind spending time apart so they can come back together stronger than they were before. the right person compromises with those they love.

blocked 9s fear loneliness and don't understand the differences between being alone, lonely, and in solitude. they refuse to look inwardly and have the tendancy to look to others for answers. for some, they have isolated for too long and believe that they are the only ones with the correct answers in connections/relationships. they refuse to ask for help and struggle to connect with those around them.

unblocked 9s know when and when not to be alone - "no man is an island". they don't fear being alone but they also don't isolate themselves from the world around them. they ask for help from others yet know when to listen to their own inner truth. they take space when they feel drained in a connection or as though they may snap at those around them unnecessarily. they know that "distance makes the heart grow fonder" - so they aren't clingy in a connection.

15 - the devil

click here for the card description of the devil found in a prior wyrd web post.

15s in a past life must not have been "good" individuals (from my experience they are almost always punished even when they are doing something good for those around them) - but they weren't "evil" because this is the third and most minor of the lessons they must learn - they likely stole things for a living, they could have hurt others (no killing though), they could have been an abusive alcoholic, etc. the point is that they likely presented with destructive behaviors to those around them. there unhealthy habits likely destroyed those around them but did very little to them.

in this lifetime 15s must overcome self-destructive patterns, unhealthy habits, and self-sabotaging behaviors. after they do this for themselves, they often have to help others with these issues as well. a lot of these individuals have to let go of control in order to find love in this lifetime - it tend to be the reason others can't be with them, they don't want anyone to them help or they control the situation too much and it is unbearable for those that love them. they often have to overcome the struggle of love versus lust - these are not the same thing; they hunger for romance but often participate in hookup culture. they can also be too codependent on partners and stay in relationships that no longer serve them. they must let go and admit they have these struggles in romance in order to receive true love.

blocked 15s self sabotage relationships so they don't end up getting hurt by those around them. they don't get into emotionally intimate relationships fearing that the other person won't be able to handle their baggage. they seek power over others and dominance in a relationship. they are in denial of their unhealthy habits / coping mechanisms though they know that they exist. they fear many things judgement, trusting others, etc. but are unwilling to talk it through with their partner.

unblocked 15s are hopeful in new relationships - they don't look for an automatic out - they believe this time will be different from the last. they learned, grew, and reevaluated their situation so they could have a better outcome and healthier relationship(s) than the last. they don't try to get into relationships similar to the last - they search for something new they have never experienced in order to get rid of destructive patterns.

that's all for today. the next number we will be looking at is the other blocking number on the other end of the channel regarding money!

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic." button if you want to see a specific pac/pile next. if you'd like my input on how i read a specific card or what i like to ask my deck, feel free to use the ask button for that as well.

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© a-d-nox 2023 all rights reserved

[mistytarot0919]

How will December be for you?

Hello, my angels! Misty - your tarot reader here✨🔮🌠🃏🌟!

Pick a card reading

©mistytarot0919 - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work.

Please like and reblog if you find this information useful! 🌸🎀💕

Because the last month of this year is here, I think it is a good chance to see how it will be for each of us. This is a simple and short monthly guidance reading. If you are curious and want to know more about the month of December, pick the pile that you are most drawn to scroll down to read your monthly guidance reading for this month.

Don't forget to like/reblog/comment and follow me! I would really appreciate it because it will help my blog grow!

So let's get started! Enjoy!

Pile 1 🕯️🖤❀ Pile 2 🕯️🖤❀ Pile 3🕯️🖤❀

°❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️Pile 1

Navigating Tradition and Change: The presence of The Hierophant alongside The Chariot may suggest a journey through established beliefs or traditions. You might find yourself at a crossroads where you need to balance your respect for tradition with your desire for personal growth and change.

Seeking Guidance in Uncertainty: This combination indicates that there may be confusion or uncertainty in your current situation. It may suggest seeking guidance from a mentor or a trusted source to help illuminate your path. The Chariot emphasizes the importance of taking control of your direction, even when faced with the unknown.

Intuition and Willpower: This combination encourages you to trust your intuition while also harnessing your willpower. You may be called to take action based on your inner guidance, even if the path ahead is not entirely clear.

Overcoming Inner Conflicts: The combination may also point to an internal struggle between adhering to societal expectations and following your own path. This combination highlights the need to delve into your subconscious fears and desires, which may be influencing your decisions.

Personal Growth Through Challenges: Ultimately, this trio suggests that by confronting your uncertainties and integrating the lessons from tradition, you can navigate challenges successfully.

In essence, this combination encourages a thoughtful approach to personal development, where you can honor traditions while embracing your individual journey and intuition. It invites reflection on how to move forward with purpose and clarity amidst uncertainty.

Question of the month - Where can I create more space?

Soul action: Do a clutter detox of your schedule, home, and innermost self. Make space, clarity will come.

Affirmation: I am strong and determined.

The message of the month - Healthy communication in a relationship - Heart-to-heart discussions and clear, assertive communication help you understand and be understood.

Power of love message - Priorities - You understand the paramount importance of manifesting love in all situations.

Crystal of the month - Aqua aura

Lucky number/day of the week - 4/Wednesday

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ₊⋆ °❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️Pile 2

Inner Conflict: The King of Wands represents a strong desire to lead and take action, but The Moon introduces elements of uncertainty and confusion. This combination suggests that while you may have the passion and drive to pursue your goals, there may be underlying fears or doubts that are causing hesitation or indecision.

Intuitive Leadership: This combination could signify a need for you to tap into your intuition, to make a decision. The person must navigate through the fog of uncertainty and trust their instincts in order to move forward confidently.

Illumination of Choices: It often represents a choice that needs to be made, and it also may indicate that the true nature of these choices is not entirely clear. The King of Wands can help illuminate the path forward through decisive action once the fears and uncertainties are confronted and understood.

This combination encourages you to acknowledge any fears or doubts you may have while leveraging your natural leadership qualities and vision to make a clear decision. Embrace your intuition and look beyond surface-level appearances to find clarity. This journey may involve confronting uncomfortable truths, but it will ultimately lead you to a more empowered position.

Question of the month - Am I in my head or in my heart?

Soul action: Master your mind. Watch an inspiring video, do some tapping, read an empowering book, or write out all the reasons why you believe in yourself and your dreams.

Affirmation: I am committed to my vision.

The message of the month - Life lessons - You can break free from recurring negative patterns by praying to know the lessons and blessings they contain.

Power of love message - Cooperation - In your quest to manifest the energy of love, you realize that every person and experience has value.

Crystal of the month - Peridot

Lucky number/day of the week - 8/Friday

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ₊⋆ °❆⛄⋆.ೃ࿔🦌*:･❄️Pile 3

Balance of Practicality and Emotion: This combination suggests a powerful balance between practical and emotional aspects of life. This month will bring stability and material success, and it will offer emotional depth and compassion. There is a reminder to take time for introspection, ensuring that one's pursuits are aligned with inner values and emotional well-being.

Inner Guidance in Decision-Making: It is essential to seek inner guidance before making significant decisions regarding finances or relationships. It advises taking a step back to reflect on what truly matters, ensuring that any actions taken align with both practical goals and emotional needs.

Leadership Through Understanding: If you are in a leadership position, this combination can suggest that effective leadership requires both a strong foundation in practical matters and a deep understanding of emotional dynamics. It may be important to lead with empathy and wisdom, considering the emotional impact of decisions on others.

Personal Growth: This reading can signify a phase of personal growth where you are integrating your material ambitions with your emotional intelligence. It may indicate a time for soul-searching to ensure that your career and personal relationships reflect your true self.

Overall, it encourages a holistic approach to life, suggesting that true success comes from combining practicality with emotional insight and self-reflection.

Question of the month - How can I deepen my trust right now?

Soul action: Let go and trust. Find your center in the chaos and be certain of yourself so you can deepen your trust in others.

Affirmation: I am happy, healthy, and abundant.

The message of the month - Wellness - The recovery of health and wellness is here.

Power of love message - Empathy - You feel and understand the emotions of another in the service of love.

Crystal of the month - Jade

Lucky number/day of the week - 4/Thursday

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙̩̩͙͛‧͙

[snailstriad]

Connections Between Novel and Current Milgram

Alright, it's theory time. While it's not confirmed yet, after Kotoko's music video, I am certainly sure that the two novels and our current Milgram are connected. Because their motives fit so well? Maybe some of you know about our "snails theory," right? If not or if you've forgotten about it, please take a look at it too! [in our twitter under the same name] (I must say that some parts of the theory (e.g the voices part) are wrong, but it is a theory after all.) To summarize, we think Haruka, Muu, Shidou, Amane, and Mikoto's beliefs and mindsets come from the first novel, and Yuno, Fuuta, Mahiru, Kazui, and Kotoko's mindsets and their thoughts resemble the second novel. First of all, please do not forget that we are not connecting crimes. Maybe you can see similarities but I, too, believe crimes and storyline different(not completely because of Touchi) from our current trials. This theory is only about mindsets. Well, let's start with 1st novel characters.

Our first prisoner, Gentle. He is a very emotional man to me. And killing a man, who is about to kill a woman. Of course this is pure coincidence but the thought of killing one life to save the others is bugging me. Because of this, I feel like there is a parallel between Gentle and Shidou.

Nervous. Her anxiety of being useless and a failure is similar to Muu actually. Another point that these two have in common is wanting to be appreciated. This desire for acknowledgment adds a psychological layer, suggesting how much external validation influences their thoughts and actions.

Considering that Close and Gentle are siblings, you might think I've lost my mind for what I'm about to say next, but yes, I believe Close and Amane have similar thought patterns. Let's look at the events this way: Close is someone who would do anything and everything to get the person she loves. However, after all the events, she no longer fears suffering. In fact, she wanted to experience pain and didn't seek help. This reminds me a lot of Amane. Maybe in the future, I'll prepare a separate theory for Amane, but I always felt that in that famous electric shock scene, Amane was afraid of pain, so it seemed like she was trying to comply with the rules. However, after her father's death, and of course, when she came to Milgram, she tried not to fear pain and even attempted to surpass the help she received.

The next prisoner, in my opinion, is probably the easiest to connect among all the characters: Two-Face. Initially, I had wondered besides the name, what similarities there could be with Mikoto, but then I realized I had overlooked the most important thing. Both of them were unaware of the consequences of their actions. As you know, Mikoto was completely oblivious to everything. On the other hand, Two-Face genuinely didn't know that what he was attempting could lead to an actual murder.

Our last character from the first novel is Torch. Firstly, when we saw less of Torch's story and mindset compared to the second novel, I couldn't liken him to anyone. However, later, with the release of the second novel, I understood that the reason Torch's (or Touchi's) life was saved was Milgram. Through Milgram, he found the love he had been seeking for a long time, thanks to Sumi. When I look at this child who has no one in his life, I see Haruka. Both are individuals without anyone and in need of love. Additionally, Milgram, who saved Touchi, also saved the first trial Haruka. The lack of self-confidence he had when he first arrived was overcome thanks to Milgram.

Our first prisoner in the second novel: Tatsumi. I might exceed my thread limit before finishing listing the commonalities with Fuuta. First, let's talk about how both perceive their crimes as a symbol of justice. For those who haven't read it, I'll give a brief overview of the common theme in the second novel: all the characters' crimes are based on a kind of murder trend called "justifiable righteous murder." When Touchi asks him what justice means, Tatsumi responds, "Justice is a social media hashtag." Most likely, you've already understood where I'm going with this: both share similar thoughts about the concept of justice. Another shared aspect is that both constantly question the concept of justice they possess.

Rina and Mei, since they share the same trial, I'll continue without separating them. In my previous theory, I talked about how Yuno and Mahiru are opposites of each other, yet still closely connected. The same holds true for Rina and Mei; they are almost opposites, but their attitudes towards all these events are still the same. It's similar to Yuno and Mahiru; Yuno has a very cold personality while Mahiru is the opposite. However, when it comes to Milgram and its rules, both pairs' thoughts align remarkably.

Alright, this was the person I found the most challenging to connect among all the prisoners: Tomonari. Because, honestly, when I first looked at him, nothing came to mind except the word "psychopath." However, if you look at Tomonari's actions, despite all the darkness within, he never tried to kill anyone until the very end, somewhat keeping his "true personality" hidden. You might get upset with me, I know, but I associate him with Kazui. As I mentioned, this theory is not about the crimes they committed. Kazui, too, chose to lie and conceal his true self until the very end of his life. In my view, they are similar because of these choices they made.

Finally, the last prisoner, Mako. First, I can't go without mentioning that, in Kotoko's MV, I saw Kotoko closely following the "Justifiable Righteous Murder" trend created by Mako (even looking at the news of Tatsumi's murder). Both of the characters are individuals willing to kill for the goals they have set in their minds. Additionally, both characters closely follow the workings of Milgram and manipulate it in line with their own interests.