#other things we need to learn supportively.

[leighsartworks216]

Live Stream

Sylus x gn!streamer!Reader

Based on a prompt from @syluspen that took me WAY TOO LONG to get around to. This is actually a compilation of all the little things I started for it but never really finished. So, uh, enjoy

Warnings: fluff, silly, established relationship, video games

Word Count: 909

Main Masterlist

First Love and Deepspace Masterlist

Second Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

The first time was an accident, really. He didn't realize you were in the middle of streaming for how quiet you were being and came in to ask you what you wanted for dinner.

From that point on, Sylus was the most anticipated part of every livestream.

You didn't mind it. You love your man, love that he chooses to interrupt even when he knows you are streaming just to bring you a drink or give you a quick kiss just to let you know he's home from "work". You're always a little worried someone will recognize him. Thankfully, no one has so far, and hopefully it stays that way.

The chat's screaming is your only warning before arms wrap around you from behind and Sylus's chin is resting on your shoulder. You lean back into him easily, beaming as you pause in your gaming, letting it sit on a dialogue box, waiting to be read.

"Did you just get home?"

"Mhm." He playfully brushes this side of your headphones back with his nose, exposing your ear and kissing your sideburn. "What are you playing?"

"Dream Daddy." You laugh at the odd look he gives you. You circle your mouse over your avatar in the corner. "Aren't I cute? Think you'd still date me if I look like this?"

He huffs a laugh. "Sweetie, if I would still date you if you were a worm, I would still date you if you were a guy."

The chat is zooming by quickly on the secondary monitor he bought you. A lot of people scream about him being "bisexual confirmed?!?!!" He pays them no mind.

"Is it a dating sim?" he asks.

You nod, turning your head to kiss his cheek. "Awe, guys, he's learning!"

"Any good dating options?" he asks playfully. "My current partner keeps teasing me; I may need to browse some new options."

You laugh and he chuckles by your ear, squeezing you tighter in ardent affection. You open up a browser to pull up a picture of all the love interests lined up. You explain each one to him while he listens patiently.

"Which one are you going for right now?"

"Guess."

He hums thoughtfully. "Robert?"

"Got it in one."

"Well, he's the most like me."

??? Is he a cryptid hunter too????

literally look nothin alike how tf

Istg this guy is in some shady business...

You flip back over to the game. He can tell now that one of the other love interests is who you're talking to. You turn your head so you can whisper in his ear. "You alright?"

He hums again with a small nod. "Just tired. Don't worry, sweetheart."

"Let me finish this up and we can go to bed, okay?" You kiss his cheek to cement your promise. He lifts his chin from your shoulder and kisses your forehead. "I'll only be a minute."

"Take your time." He kisses your forehead again for good measure. "Have fun, sweetie." His arms slide from their place around you as he heads toward the door.

-

Sylus loves watching you like this. Usually, he would wait somewhere else in a manor, tending to product for buyers or going over contracts. Tonight, however, you'd promised your viewers that you would play a horror game, and you needed him there in the room as moral support.

Which meant he got to tend to his guns (being off-camera as it were) and watch you panic over a haunted bear that wanted to kill you.

"Fuck fuck fuck, where's Bonnie?!" You jump with a startled cry, nearly flinging your headphones off from the fright. You lean back into your chair, hands on your head, as you read chat and try to calm your racing heart.

"You alright, sweetie?" he calls, trying to hide the amusement in his voice.

You're either too dazed to notice it or ignoring it altogether as you hum noncommittally. "The rabbit got me," you murmur.

The chats start flooding in out of nowhere. A few donations, a lot of screaming...

"Oh, I forgot to tell you guys that my partner is here for moral support." You giggle breathlessly. You look over at him with a smile. "They got jumpscared by your voice."

He chuckles. "I suppose I should be flattered to be on par with the monsters in your game."

-

Headcanons:

He supports your streaming without hesitation

Top of the line monitors, ergonomic chairs, cat ear headphones - name it and it's yours

But he doesn't show up during your streams very often

Really you're the one who insisted he stay out of sight, given his work and the possibility that someone may just recognize him

He likes to play your livestreams in the background while he works

When you excitedly ramble to him about what happened later, he already knows, but he loves to hear it from you

If you mention craving something, he's there after a bit with exactly what you wanted, whether it's a drink or a snack

Understands completely if you don't want to eat on camera, and just saves it for you for after

Maybe sticks his head into the room to show you what he got, or messages you saying it's waiting on the table

Very very rarely is he ever in the room while you stream, but it does happen

He scared your viewers when he suddenly spoke up from the sidelines

They thought he broke in or something

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pikachuzhc @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi @thejysemongko 

[renthony]

Success of the week:

Put in a purchase request for a queer history book at the local library. Request was approved, and I got to be the first person to check it out. Woo!

I can do this up to 250 times in a calendar year, so I'm going to be doing it at regular intervals throughout 2025. I have a list of queer theory texts I've been after for work, with zero funds to buy them myself. If other people read them when I'm done, even better--we need more people armed with knowledge.

Request books about social justice and marginalized identities from your local library if you can. That political theory book you've been meaning to read? Get it from the library. Hot new queer fantasy novel? Get it from the library. Want to learn more about prison abolition, or feminism, or Black history, or labor rights, or disability justice, or any other important topic? Want to read stories from authors with backgrounds different than your own? See what you can do to get those books on the shelf for others to benefit from, too.

Not every library will have the budget or the staff support, but if it's something you're able to do, putting in purchase requests and checking things out at the library is a great action to take. It's one of the things keeping me out of freeze-mode anxiety when I think too hard about the state of the world.

[whiteheartlight]

painful to think about how Nuju and to some degree all the Turaga and even the Toa Mata fostered an expectation in Matoro that there are some things that can't be shared with anyone and that he needs to handle enormous responsibilities on his own. but we don't talk as much about how Ko-Matoran culture in general does this to all the Ko-Matoran as well as Nuju and Kopaka. in Ko-Metru and Ko-Koro, the idea is that you should be intensely independent, that the most quiet and dedicated scholars are the most highly valued members of the society, and that sharing with others is an annoyance. in their isolation, I figure a lot of them even lack the social skills to know how to share something or ask for help that would be expected in other cultures, and likewise, they might not know how to support a friend in need.

this is part of why Kopaka always seems so taken aback by Pohatu wanting to help him so much and Gali expecting him to be able to express himself and have deep conversations with her. it's also related to Nuju being so unwilling to rely on his siblings. those aren't things that Ko-Matoran do.

I'm sure there are other Matoran in Ko-Koro who would have done exactly as Matoro did if they were in his situation. we talk a lot about Nuju teaching Matoro to act that way, but less about how the whole culture revolves around that isolation and how Nuju also learned this from his peers and no doubt his Toa too. it's interesting to me because I believe Lhikan picked Nuju for his ferocity as well as his cleverness, but did Nuju ever know that? or did he just think Lhikan chose a competent scholar with a reputation for his independence? anyway, the point is Matoro wasn't the only Ko-Matoran who needed to hear the message that he didn't have to do everything on his own and should ask for help and support sometimes, and Nuju wasn't the only one who taught him otherwise

[writergeekrhw]

There's a Reddit screenshot going around (including here on Tumblr, Wil Wheaton reblogged a post about it) where a Trump supporter got whiny that at the Vegas convention this year, a couple of the Voyager actors were asked about their political beliefs by a fan, and they answered by praising Kamala Harris and condemning Trump and Trump supporters. This person on Reddit (not the same person who asked the politics question at the con) was upset because they felt they and their friends "learned that 7 of 9 hates them" and they were roundly made fun of for expecting that a Star Trek convention wouldn't contain anything that contradicts their MAGA beliefs given that, you know, it's such a progressive show where the future is LITERALLY luxury space communism, and where it has always spoken in favor of diversity.

This led to a bigger discussion about the place of politics in fandom spaces. I personally would understand not talking about electoral politics if we were in a normal election, like Obama vs. Romney, even though the Republicans even then advocated a lot of things that I think is at odds with what Star Trek says. But I don't think people who voted for them were necessarily hateful. I don't think they are people I can't share fandom with, you know? We can be friends. But I think with Trump people are hateful, or at the very least they're okay with hate, given how often he spews it and encourages it in his supporters. I'm a lesbian and I absolutely do feel less safe around people who wear MAGA hats in a way I just didn't around Romney or McCain or Bush supporters. My opinion personally is that it's probably a mistake and what got us to where we are today (sending this in late September 2024, where Harris is slightly up in the polls but it's still very close and Republicans are trying to ratfuck the vote in a bunch of swing states - maybe by the time you answer, the election will be over and we'll know?) that we didn't do enough to recognize that Trump support is either bigotry, or support for bigotry, in a way that should be socially unacceptable and treated as such. That we should have deployed more social shaming over it, especially in places that should be understood to be safe spaces for diverse groups of people, like the fandom of a series like Star Trek.

I was wondering what you thought about this topic. Personally, while I don't think American electoral politics need to be in every aspect of a convention, finding out that actors who played characters I like, writers who wrote shows I love, etc. are supportive of my basic civil rights, not just in broad platitudes but also in how they vote, is really heartening and makes me feel more "welcomed" in fandom. It makes me feel safer there. And the fact that Trump supporters feel excluded also makes it a safer space IMO, because I don't feel safe around those people. I have Republican friends - but none of them who have voted for Trump.

I commented on that while I was still on Xitter. I honestly worry Trump may pose an existential threat to our democracy. I think others feel similarly. I suspect Jeri Ryan, who's seen the rot inside the GOP firsthand, has particularly strong feelings about that as well. So it's no surprise she chose to speak out before the election. And it's certainly her right.

I think it's a bit silly for fans of a franchise that has a strong progressive POV to feel alienated when the artists involved in said franchise embrace its philosophy and choose to take a stand for it.

I worry for us all over the next four years, but the voters have spoken. We'll see how it goes.

[creatingblackcharacters]

Hey. Love what you do. You're amazing and I've learned a lot from your blog. You actually helped me fix some issues with my own personal projects and OCs that I'd been stuck on for ages and I love seeing you on my dash.

I was wondering if I could ask for some advice regarding a topic. See, I'm a fan of Epic: The Musical, which has some amazing Black vocalists and the fandom is filled with amazing designs for Black characters.

But after the recent release of the final concept album, I've noticed a pattern with all the Black characters. All of them are treated....not very well by the narrative or the fandom, to put it lightly. I don't think it was intentional on the creator's part, but it is pretty obvious to see, especially after the recent saga.

But when I tried to explain my thoughts to my friend that got me into the musical, they said that I'm overreacting and that there isn't any racism present.

How to I explain what it is that I've noticed to people and to get taken seriously? Because with what I've seen, I'm hesitant to ever recommend the musical to people now.

1) your friend is being racist, so. You should consider your relationship with them. Ask them what they need to see, in order to consider it racism. Ask them if they've spoken to other Black viewers and taken into account their opinions. What gives them the right to make that call?

2) between Epic and Arcane this year, I've never been so thoroughly unconvinced to watch something I might find interesting otherwise based on the outward racist behavior of the fandoms lmao. Because ik the moment I'd point something out, I'd become yet another fandoms Mean Black Boogeywoman and it's not worth it. So you're absolutely right there!

3) Even if the author's intent was not racism, that doesn't stop it from being so! I don't think many people say "let me be racist today" with their racist actions. This is why we have to create our Black characters thoughtfully, instead of just popping them into a role and saying "look, diversity!"

4) that's a hard question and unfortunately there's no easy answer. You could link them my page 🤷🏾‍♀️ but remember, you can't make people accept their racism or their enjoyment of it. You can only point it out. Whether or not they listen and choose to do better is on them. People don't take fan racism seriously because it would require them taking their OWN fan racism seriously. It's hard, feeling like everyone is okay with something so wrong, but... That is the space we're in.

What you do have the power to do, is find and support the fans of color, specifically the Black ones, that speak on what you're feeling. Because you're not alone! Support them openly, let them know that you all see what is there! And don't support people who do the horrible thing you see. Just because everyone else shares those horrible things, doesn't mean you have to.

[babyangelsky]

My Favorite Shows of 2024 💖✨

Welcome to Babyangelsky's 2024 Wrap Up! To commemorate my second year of watching QL dramas, and my first year of actually talking on my blog, I've compiled a series of lists to celebrate all the QL things I loved this year!

Please feel free to take my categories and make lists of your own and tag me in them if you do!

💜 All the lists can be found here! 💜

We've arrived at my final list! If you've read all of my lists, some of them, or only this one, thank you! I've really enjoyed looking back and talking about everything I loved this year.

May we receive even more QL blessings in 2025 💖

♡ Love Sea

There are many shows that I loved this year and many favorites among them, but this one is my very favorite. This is my show. I could not begin to tell you how excited I was when we learned that we'd be getting a new FortPeat project and that we were going to get to see them act together again. I love them both so much that I was always going to love this show because of them regardless of what it ended up being.

But what it ended up being was a really damn good show. I don't care what anyone says. It was so much more than just amazing chemistry and love scenes. I was writing about this show weekly. It had me talking about the acting and styling, keeping track of colors, doing scene breakdowns and character analysis, coming up with clown theories, the whole nine.

Love Sea is that girl. For me.

♡ I Saw You in My Dream

This show gave us the softest, sweetest love, mutual horniness, joyous sex, casual affection, supportive parents, and then without even trying, it also healed everyone's religious trauma in the kindest and gentlest way possible. It was wonderful and refreshing and healing to see queer characters have a warm, loving relationship with their faith and have it be something that gave them comfort and that they could share.

Seeing Ai just casually sitting in a cathedral to find some peace meant so much to me. I'm so happy and grateful that this show exists.

♡ Unknown

I want this show injected directly into my veins because, babes, everything about it is like heroin to me. It's not just a favorite of the year, it's a favorite of all time. It's quiet in this intense way that I really enjoy, which is a quality shared by a few other entries on this list. I love when a show can make me feel everything and god, did this make me feel everything.

I've already talked about how phenomenal the acting is in my favorite performances list but it's impossible to praise this show without also talking about the lighting and cinematography and colors and chemistry because it's all beautiful. It's a goddamn masterpiece.

♡ Knock Knock Boys

I genuinely love when a show takes me by surprise. I hadn't even fully decided whether I was going to watch it or not before it aired and I don't quite remember what convinced me to give it a chance, but I'm so glad that I did.

You look at it and think all you're gonna get from it is a fun silly time. And you do get a fun silly time! Then you go a little deeper and you realize what you actually have is a series about learning to communicate within relationships and outside of them, making peace with yourself, navigating love and sex, and figuring out what you really want in life, all tied up in this giant sparkly sex positive bow. It's an absolute gem.

♡ We Are

We Are is the epitome of what I like to call a cotton candy show: it's sweet, fluffy, and fun. There aren't really any stakes, there's not a whole lot going on. It's just a little treat there to give you a good time.

And boy howdy did it air when I needed it most. I had a very, very rough summer and every episode of this show felt like I was getting a hug. It was so cozy and comforting. It was a love letter to friendship and it has my entire heart.

♡ Our Youth

At the time of writing this series still has three episodes left before it ends and even though a lot can go wrong in three episodes, I'm still confident in saying that this is one of my favorite shows of the year. In fact, this may be my favorite Japanese BL. Full stop.

There is just something so...entrancing about it. That quiet intensity I mentioned earlier. I love how it uses silence and light, I love that every piece of dialogue feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, I especially love what Kamimura Kenshin has done and continues to with his portrayal of Haruki. I just love everything about this drama. Everything.

♡ Two Worlds

I was so damn excited for this show from the moment I first saw the pilot. It was one of my most anticipated dramas of the year and not only is it my favorite MaxNat project to date, it was my first time ever writing about colors!

The killer chemistry and truly beautiful love scenes were all but a given and the fantasy element was a trip, but writing about the colors was what really made this for me. The sleeper color demon in my brain (which sneaks in when you attend @respectthepetty Colors College) had me looking at the stitching on clothing and the exact shades used in any given plaid pattern to try and make sense of the random and ever-changing use of colors in this show and I had the time of my life doing it.

♡ Love for Love's Sake

We had this show for a grand total of TWO WEEKS. Isn't that insane?Just two weeks and it gave us these beautiful characters who tore us all open in the best way and left us gasping for air and infinitely glad that this show was made and that we got to watch it. That was my experience, at least.

To me this is a show about learning to heal and to love yourself through loving somebody else. There are as many interpretations of it as there are people who watched it--as it should be--and mine ultimately comes down to this: Myung Ha's best friend loved him so much and wanted so dearly for him to be happy that he created a reality where Myung Ha got the love and sense of belonging that he always deserved, and it was beautiful.

♡ Wandee Goodday

What's even better than being blessed with the gift that is bunny boy Great Sapol? Sex positivity! Condoms! Advocating for sexual health! The bunny boy being the greenest flag in all the land! Ace rep! Ace rep with a happy ending! BL Mother of the Year Cher! The first GMMTV wedding since same sex marriage was legalized in Thailand! Horny gym massages! Therapy! Title Kirati finally being a good boy in a BL!

And on and on and on! In my heart and in my soul, I'm a good time girl and this show was SUCH a good time. It was a delightful little treat from beginning to end.

♡ The Loyal Pin

You know a show is special when just hearing the intro music makes you feel happy and comforted and giddy with anticipation. This is a beautiful show. It feels like the dessert table at a fancy, expensive wedding.

Everything is well done. Everything. The acting and the story are incredible, the cinematography is stunning, the styling is gorgeous, the OST fucks. It's just so damn good from top to bottom that it's become my favorite GL ever. I love it dearly.

♡ My Stand-In

Characters like Ming who are the human embodiment of lead paint and the stories they feature in aren't for everyone, but they sure are for me. Especially when those stories are led by great actors like Up and Poom who can have me in my feelings with the tiniest shift in their expressions.

They had me so in my feelings, in fact, that I arranged my watch schedule so I would always have a fluffy show to decompress with after every episode. It was that intense and if I loved it as much as I did, it was became Up and Poom were that good. I love a sweet love story but I also love a story about people who are DEEPLY deranged about each other.

♡ The On1y One

Even though I did not watch the finale of this show and will not watch it until such time as a second season has been announced, filmed, and is ready to premiere, it was still one of my favorites of the year. I just can't be mad at it.

It had everything that I love. Quiet intensity and great acting and dialogue and EXPRESSIONS and Benjamin Tsang's face and yearning and tiny little moments that live in my mind rent-free. I just wish it was complete because I love these characters so much and want to see them happy.

♡ Century of Love

I was raised on telenovelas. I've been watching them my whole life. So of course I'm always going to have a soft spot for BLs that scratch that lakorn/telenovela itch in my brain and that's exactly what this show did!

It gave us soulmates! Reincarnation! The red string of fate! Magic rocks! Wet dreams after a 124 year dry spell! Questionable CGI! Goddess-approved yaoi! And holding all of it together was Daou and Offroad's phenomenal chemistry. I fucking love this show!

♡ 4 Minutes

There are few things I love more in this BL watching life than letting Dr. Sammon take me on a wild ride, and boy was this a WILD FUCKING RIDE. I didn't come up with a single theory or do anything but cheer Tonkla on the entire time it was airing, I just experienced it.

Every episode was a feast for the eyes, whether it was the acting or the cinematography or the music or, as was usually the case, a stunning combination of all those things. We had to wait so long for this one and even though I wish it was longer, it was entirely worth the wait.

♡ See Your Love

Another one that has yet to finish airing but that's so lovely in every way that it has already found itself among the ranks of my favorite Taiwanese BLs ever. No surprise considering the team that made it also made another one of my faves.

And it really is lovely, unhinged assassination attempts and all. The love between the mains is a phenomenal combination of healing and horny and the story gives its characters--especially its deaf protagonist--so much humanity and treats them with care and respect. Not to mention that it features some of the best BL parents I've ever seen.

♡ High School Frenemy

When I tell you I was so prepared for this to be a series that I ended up dropping after a few weeks. The only reason I even watched it initially was for Mark Pakin and then something happened and I ended up liveblogging all sixteen episodes and loving it so incandescently that it became one of my favorite shows of the year.

And it was alllll because of Sky and Nani and that phenomenal chemistry that came out of nowhere and hit me--and all of us--with a steel chair. Watching Saint and Shin say the most UNHINGED ROMANTIC SHIT TO EACH OTHER was truly one of the highlights of my year. The character writing was great, the acting was great, the friendships were top tier. Truly the biggest surprise of 2024.

If the "more than friends less than lovers" shirt was a show, it would be this show.

♡ Sugar Dog Life

What a darling little treat of a show. It's so cozy and comfy and sweet. I'm always going to be a sucker for "food as a love language" shows and I enjoyed watching these two fall in love over meals so much.

As an aside, I spent almost the entire time slightly tormented because I couldn't figure out who Tanaka Koki reminded me of but I'm very happy to say that I figured it out: Sea Dechchart.

♡ Jack and Joker

For me, it's impossible not to love something that was so clearly made with all the passion, joy, and love in the world and that is exactly the energy that Yin and War brought to this project and I adored it.

This show made me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion every single week. I was never not excited for the next episode, even when it made me sad. It was fun and chaotic and beautiful to look at and I'm so happy that it exists.

♡ First Note of Love

This series is just...so gentle. Even though loss is a central theme in the story, it's never portrayed in a looming, haunting way. Matt's presence is always felt but in a way that's very human and beautiful.

At its core, this story is about all the ways love and grief are intertwined and giving yourself a second chance and letting love back in and allowing yourself to feel and I love it so dearly. So dearly.

♡ Dead Friend Forever

This is the show that finally got me to talk on my blog. I had such a great time being a clown and coming up with theories and reading other people's theories and spending entirely too much time looking at the minute details of that creepy damn mask.

It was a wild ride from start to finish and I enjoyed every minute of it. And it gave me TaBarcode, which was a gift I will cherish always even if thinking about them makes me want to listen to Rollin' in the Deep by Adele.

[nerdygaymormon]

Some thoughts on queer identities and relationships

I think by refusing to recognize the intense amount of variety & complexity of the real world we live in, the LDS Church makes it hard for itself. Humanity is diverse. The church needs to do some work to make sense of the diversity rather than continue to ignore what that has been learned in the past century. 

One way the church tries to avoid this is by saying queer people should not make their sexual orientation or gender identity be a primary identity. Our primary identifier should be as a child of God. It’s strange because to non-queer people, they teach that their orientation & gender identity are central to exaltation. These are “eternal” characteristics.

There are very few people I know, straight or gay, cis or trans, who would say that their sexual orientation or gender identity is not an essential part of who they are and how they experience the world. We have large body of witnesses from queer people testifying that God made them like this.

By telling queer people that these things are “not central to identity,” it feels like they’re rephrasing the past teachings that we are broken and will be fixed, that these attractions & feelings are to be resisted at all cost. When my bishop would try to tell me that being gay is like an addiction, a temptation, I’d respond that being gay is like being straight with the exception of which gender I am attracted to, but otherwise very similar. I don’t like language that makes us sound abnormal or unhealthy when the reality is we’re a natural variant of the human condition.

Our church leaders don’t provide a compelling story or theology for why queer identities and relationships exist yet are wrong. The closest they get to explaining why being queer is wrong is that “in the beginning” God established a relationship between Adam & Eve. They also point to the Family Proclamation which says marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. I wish they could point to a revelation explaining why God supposedly limits marriage to the male + female model, but they can’t.

Sometimes they will say only a marriage between a man and a woman can lead to exaltation in the next life. For the sake of argument, let’s say this is correct, if being single or in a gay marriage will neither lead to exaltation then why is being alone considered superior to two gay people being married to each other? Even if it’s the “wrong” kind of marriage, why would allowing companionship in this life be morally wrong? 

While I haven’t heard the leaders publicly make this argument, I know it goes something like this--a man & a woman can have sex & create new spirit bodies, and that’s required for exaltation. This seems very much based on how we create physical humans on earth. The problem with this is here on earth we’ve figured out how to do the procreation thing while avoiding the physical act of sex, such as using IVF, surrogacy, and so on. Scientists have been experimenting with using bone marrow stem cells to create artificial gametes, or eggs and sperm, which would allow two women to conceive a baby together. Are you saying such technology won’t exist in the Celestial Kingdom, that our earth life is more advanced than heaven?

It is an interesting academic exercise to look at theological support for the full inclusion of queer folks, but to me it comes down to fruits. We’re taught we will know that something is good based on the fruits it bears. Alma in The Book of Mormon taught this. Jesus taught this. Many have taught this. It’s an observable, concrete way to judge if something is good or bad.

The fruits of the Church’s homophobic & transphobic policies and teachings are broken families, shame, depression, suicide, and estrangement from God. The fruits of loving and committed same-sex marriages are, in my observation, stability, happiness, and connection. This isn’t complicted. It’s just not.

[moonbeamastrology]

Postcard From Spirit

Hey guys, hope you’re all having a good holiday time and a peaceful end to 2024! What we have here is an oracle reading using the deck Postcards From Spirit by Colette Baron-Reid with a little tarot for some extra sauce. The oracle deck is one of my favorites it’s such an interesting concept and so thoughtful. So yeah, I have some scenic images for you guys to choose from. You know the vibes, take a few deep breaths, center your energy, and ask your intuition to guide you to the image that holds the message for you. As always, take what resonates and leave the rest! Love you!! Entertainment purposes only :) I hope you enjoy your reading! <3

Group 1

Hey group 1, welcome to your reading <3. Right before I began I saw a scene from the game Beyond: Two Souls, specifically the chapter where she’s getting her apartment ready for that one guy? I don’t know if this is significant to you in any way, it’s actually a really interesting premise for a game so maybe check it out if you’re into gaming at all. Right now you’re being asked to take a new perspective on something. You were/are hoping for a new outcome but Spirit is asking you to be more flexible with the outcome. All is well and positivity and good vibes are all on their way to you (even if it doesn’t feel like it). Some of you may need to check your ego a bit. The ego is attached to control and specific “stories” of how something should turn out but your soul knows that the divine is in control. Pay closer attention to the feeling of what you want and less on how it looks/what it is/how it shows up. Spirit loves you so much and wants you to have a little fun with friends to help you through the tough energy. Let your friends know you need some emotional support and you will be surprised at how they show up for you. Even if you don’t have anyone in the physical to help you through this, talk to Spirit (the wind, a tree, the moon, a rock) and open yourself up to support showing up for you from strangers. You are so loved, by the universe and also… by me.. !!! <3

Tarot: The Hanged Man, 3 of cups

Group 2

I’m feeling that this is a highly spiritual group. You’re learning to enjoy the journey. There’s a recent milestone you achieved that has placed you in a position to give back to the collective in some way. Make sure to take the opportunity now, give without expectation, give for the sake of giving. The message from the card made me think of the whole Grinch thing at the end where his heart grew three sizes lol. Not insinuating that you’re a Grinch in any way but maybe you went through a heart expansion so your capacity to give to others and yourself has increased. While shuffling the tarot I saw The World card and then The Fool ended up coming out. You’re entering into a brand new cycle (it is the end of the year so that’s fitting). It will require you to utilise discernment, strategy, focus, and determination. You have created a very stable foundation for yourself to achieve your goals and dreams (love). I asked for some clarity with the seven of swords and the nine of swords, eight of pentacles, and the four of wands came out. For some of you this could be a little bit of a warning to be careful of self sabotaging behaviors. Drown out the negativity and anxiety by placing your attention and focus on your craft, get out of the doom spiral by choosing to express and utilise your energy differently. For others (and this is ONLY if it confirms your intuition) unfortunately there’s someone around you that doesn’t want you to succeed. They want you in your head, anxious and depressed, they want to attack your peace and stability. They may be doing some sneakiness behind your back. Possibly a false friend. Backstabbing. Again this is only to confirm your intuition, don’t let it freak you out. You’re probably generally unaware of it because you are protected from it. You are focused on your own stuff and stay in your lane so it’s not coming back to bite you. Just keep focusing on yourself and maybe look into different ways to protect your energy. Do not feed into it, it is not worth your precious energy. Any way lol we do not give a fuck about that nastiness. It looks like you have really gained or raised your level of emotional maturity “accepting what comes and goes”. Keeping yourself focused on the good in your life. Lowkey you are entering this new cycle as a bad bitch (even if you’re masculine or nonbinary or what have you, bad bitchery is an energy we can all embody in different ways). This cycle wasn’t an easy one for you so be proud of yourself and who you are evolving into. I love you!!! I’m sending you so much love and healing!!! <3

Tarot: The Emperor, 7 of swords, The Fool, King of cups

Group 3

You’re coming into a deeper understanding of the interconnectedness of all things at this time. Possibly reflecting on your own actions from the past, which is giving you a new perspective of everything (not necessarily bad actions though). Pay attention to your heart chakra, it might need some healing/balancing. Surrendering to unconditional love, when you see yourself and “others” as peers and equals regardless of whatever made up fake “hierarchy” then loving everyone becomes easier. For some it also eases anxiety because you are not less than them either. Right now you’re really being asked to trust the universe. If you’re lacking clarity then let your own intuition guide you. You’re building trust with yourself and the universe at this time. If you have been dedicated to your goals then Spirit wants you to take some time and reflect on how you can bring in more lighthearted fun and self care. You’re in an incredibly fertile energy right now, there’s space for lots of good ideas to come in with the ability to ground them down to the physical. You’re finding an ideal way to synergize all of your great ideas and your ability to make them physical. The King of Wands is an “ideas man” and the Queen of Pentacles is all about practicality, groundedness, and creation. Tap into what you want to create for yourself and go for it. Let your inspiration lead you. Trust your intuition and what lights your soul up. Thanks for reading! You’ve got this, I believe in you! <3

Tarot: King of Wands, Queen of Pentacles

[lyxthen]

I want to write an essay on how the Book of Bill expertly subverts the "villain with a tragic backstory/antisocial protagonist" narrative by portraying its main character as evil, trying really hard to look cool, and failing pathetically. The book is making fun of him, and that is actually kind of revolutionary, because most stories with evil, pathetic main characters tend to take themselves, and by extension, their protagonist, way too seriously, with way too much dignity, which leads to people misinterpreting them as heroes or idealize them in some way, and then replicating these harmful attitudes. They follow life coaches that will teach them how to be "alpha males."

Bill presents himself as one of these "life coaches," he will teach you the secrets of the universe, he will help you to game the system in your favor, to manipulate people to get what you want, he will free you from the shackles of society and reality itself-- but he is lying. The success rate of Bill's evil schemes is laughably small. He's a manipulator, to be sure, an incompetent one. His dimension rejected him, his friends don't actually like him, throughout the ages humans have found him insufferable, and to top it all off he ruins the relationship with the only being in the history of the universe he has ever truly felt understood by.

And instead of going "gee, maybe there *is* something wrong with me, after all" he doubles down on his harmful ideas. He doesn't have a problem, everyone else is the problem. Nobody gets his vision. They are all small-minded creatures of no value. His failures are always somebody else's fault. He didn't want to hurt anyone, he was forced to. It's not that bad, he's just being silly, he's having a laugh.

And we, as readers, we are horrified at all the bad things he does, but we also laugh. Not with him, but *at him.* He is being constantly ridiculed by himself, and the funniest part is that he doesn't even realize. He thinks he is absolutely acing this.

He isn't.

Eventually, it is revealed that Bill has no idea what he is talking about. That he has been defeated, rendered powerless, stuck forever in interdimensional therapy. The book tells us, "This is what happens to people like Bill if they don't change. They end up with nothing. No riches, no fame, no loved ones. They will be unhappy forever unless they realize there is something about them worth changing and decide to act on it."

This is in contrast to Stanford, someone who, just like Bill, was deeply hurt and rejected by society, struggled to feel understood, and took refuge in a narcissistic (bear with me-) view of the world. Diagnostic labels aside, Ford genuinely thinks he is better than everyone else for being smarter. He is a textbook Aspie Supremacist that swears by IQ tests because it's the only thing that has ever validated him. That's why he gets along with Bill, I think, they really *have* compatible mindsets. Ford really thought Rudolph should've killed the other reindeer. He constantly dismisses Fiddleford in what feels a very classist way (even if he grew up working class himself). Ford isn't manipulative and malicious in the same way Bill is, and I don't want anyone coming at me for saying Ford is evil. He isn't. He might be a bit of an ass, but he has a moral code, he knows that what Bill wants to do is A BAD THING and dedicates his life to trying to stop him. Stanford's biggest flaw is not appreciating the people around him more for their inherent value (not that he doesn't love them! he does!), but he learns, and he changes. He is more considerate of other people's needs and their perspectives.

And by the end, he is happy. He is free from Bill, he has his family, people who will support him unconditionally and will put up with his nonsense because they love him.

Stanford will never find someone who is as smart as him, who has been ostracized the same way he has. But that's okay. He has an inherent value as a person that has nothing to do with how smart he is in comparison to other people. He doesn't need other people's approval to be happy.

That is, I think, what the book wants you to take away. Don't be like Bill. Don't fall for the Alpha Male scam, or eugenics, some new age cult or multilevel marketing scheme, reject the ideas at the base. Talk to your family and friends, touch grass, find a group that shares your interests, but don't dwell endlessly on resentment, and don't follow people that tell you that the only way to be valuable is to be "superior" in some abstract metric, and that they can teach you how.

(As a kid, I almost fell down the alt-right pipeline-- and I am Mexican, transgender, and autistic. I fantasized about blowing up the school every day. I know what the fuck I am talking about when I tell you this.)

They are lying. You don't want to be like them.

You don't want to be like Bill.

[boymanmaletheshequel]

you're soooo thirsty for sympathy and approval but fail to address actual valid points that paint you as a MISOGYNIST. Being gay doesn't mean you can't be misogynist it's almost funny that you're trying to use ancient Greece, the gayest and most misogynistic society in history. Artemis would smite you if she saw your face (read her myths and you'll know this is true) but luckily for you you've failed to be seen by the gods

Alright, I’m getting pretty sick of your shit. I tried to handle you and your blasphemic hatred the kind and sympathetic way but clearly thats not how you wish to play it. First of all, please explain to me how I have “painted myself as misogynistic”? All I’ve ever done is post in favor of feminism and have expressed and embraced my femininity and androgyny thoroughly, as have I disavowed toxic masculinity on numerous occasions. I have been NOTHING if not understanding and sympathetic to your arguments and views, and yet you attack me nonetheless. Well now it’s my turn channel her rage.

how fucking dare you attack her followers? We are all devoted to her divinity and her grace, and her animalistic beauty, wether we are male, female, androgynous, non binary, or anything else. We are her cult, and in her cult, she does not appreciate such senseless and hateful infighting. I admire the rage and righteousness you hold, but it is Ill placed. Artemis doesn’t hate men, she hates abusers, she hates men who abuse their power and hubris to attack and defame women who have done nothing wrong. And that’s the difference here, YOU have done something wrong. I’ve spoken to Artemis directly and asked for her guidance in typing this right now, and she has made it clear that she is ashamed and incensed that her own follower would backstab and lambast one of her devotees and bastardize her convictions and righteousness in such a volatile way. She HATES IT. she doesn’t hate you, nor does she hate me, but she hates IT. I have read her myths and now where does she or her cult ever mention hating boys or men for the sake of being men, nor women. She hates those who use sexism, misogyny, and yes, even misandry, in her name, and who disrespect her by claiming those views and hubrises to be her own.

And while yes, gay men are NOT exempt from misogyny, to suggest in your snarky and tone deaf little message to me that acceptance of homosexuality in Ancient Greece is equivalent to misogyny is downright homophobic. Gay men have done just as much for women as women have done for gay men across all of history.

As for the smiting, Artemis has not smitten me, she was the first god I started worshipping, and she has stayed a mother figure and a lesson teacher to me since than. And although she’s taught me a thing or two and sometimes rather aggressively called me out for my faults, she has been just as supporting and nurturing when I learn to overcome and learn from them, and now, right now, she makes it clear to me that YOU are the one abusing her name and image. So fucking STOP IT. she says she doesn’t hate you, she hates the way you are acting. You tell me to read her myths, have you? You are so quick to judge my interpretation of Hellenic mythology that you seem to have forgotten to consider it yourself. Neither Athena nor Artemis, nor any other god hated men, nor did any hate women.

Artemis specifically liked Orion so much in some versions of their story that Apollo got worried that she would forget her oath to remain a virgin, and she never did, she simply admired him for being a good man who was not toxic and abusive.

She also admired Hippolytus, son of Theseus, and she loved both the male and female children of Greece. In fact, the notion that Artemis held some grudge against men is rather recent, and doesn’t appear in any ancient texts. As for the idea she hates those who don’t remain chaste, one of her most sacred duties was to help Pregnant women give birth, which they would’ve needed to break chastity to do. Just because she’s a feminist and a more feminine deity, doesn’t mean she hates men and masculinity, only the noxious and harmful parts of it, and the followers that misconstrue her notions, which having confronted her about it myself, she has assured me in ways more than one that I’m not one of them. I accidentally knocked over one of my favorite plants recently, and I was afraid I might have upset her, and I felt terrible, but than, the plant healed right up afterwards as reassurance that it was just an accident and nothing against me. I have a thriving garden I’ve devoted to her, and if she hates me as you suggest? than surely it would’ve died long ago.

And by the way, while we’re on the subject of gender, and to end this part of this discussion, I think I need to make something quite clear here.

I DONT IDENTIFY AS SOLEY MALE.

I have long considered myself andro, and although I do have masculine attributes, (as did artemis, btw, but I’m sure you’re not ready for *that* discussion) I lean much more into my feminine traits. So you attacking me as a man and soley as a man is ignorant and not very respectful or considerate of you, or of Artemis’s character and attributes you so revel in attacking me for recognizing.

That is all, if you wish to keep this conversation up, at least stop being a coward and hiding in the asks, you and I both know that Artemis wouldn’t do that. She was no coward like you are being, she fought proud and claws out, just as I am now.

Please reconsider your understanding of lady Artemis, and understand that Greek myths are exactly that. MYTHS. As rumors are spread about us mortals, myths are spread about the gods, and like rumors, they are often exaggerated and disingenuous. Do you truly believe that Artemis was a crazy non-virgin hater who sent hunters out to kill them? Do you believe she was as cruel and as spiteful as gossiping men and women alike painted her as? And by the way, attacking and killing women who lost virginity, including by RAPE in some of her myths, is not feminist AT ALL. She DOES that in some of her myths! Do you really think she ACTUALLY did that? because I doubt that those events really went down like they are written. people use your same argument style to condemn hades, Zeus, and Athena, among many others, and their followers with them, not understanding that one’s fictional and embellished stories do not define them and that all of the gods are much more complicated and nuanced than the myths humans made up or wrote about them. Thank you, and finally, have a nice fucking day. I hope you can learn and change how you conduct your views, and let Artemis show you the truth she has shown to me.

[greenfiend]

I don’t know if you’ve already answered this but I was wondering how you think Will’s dark past with Lonnie will be revealed to the audience in season 5 as well as to other characters? I think your theory about Will’s past with Lonnie is correct but I know it’s definitely a heavy topic that needs to be addressed appropriately to work. So I guess I’m also asking how do you think the show will appropriately address Will’s trauma and the healing process he’ll have to go through.

GREAT question anon!

I think the reveal will come down to uncovering Will’s message to Mike in the very first episode.

“It was a seven. The Demogorgon, it got me.”

We have several instances of the characters discussing codes and hidden messages and meanings… and it all comes back to that single line.

Mike knows the code but has yet to understand the meaning behind it. I think some metaphorical time travel will be necessary for him to learn the full truth. I mean, we already know that a younger Mike, Will, and Jonathan will make an appearance next season…

I believe the “7” is related to 7 years ago from 1983. This would be 1976 when Will and Mike were both 5 years old. Something very significant happened that year that changed Will’s life forever (not in a good way).

The show has been addressing Will’s trauma this whole time (I believe) through the supernatural and through subtle hidden subtext. I think the memories/trauma of other characters will begin to connect. Like how Will’s drawings of the tunnels connect in ST2, or Max’s drawings of the Creel house connect in ST4. It’s like a puzzle!

So far most of us have been led astray to believe this supernatural being is responsible for all the destruction… but he’s not! It was an ordinary mediocre man this whole time. Lonnie Byers. Vecna only exists due to the pain and suffering this ordinary man has caused,

Do I think Lonnie will return and will be fought? Ehh, not exactly. I think his essence will return, the memories of him will return… and that’s enough. It won’t be about defeating him, it’ll be more so about healing from him. He isn’t important, but the impact he made on Will is important.

Sooo how will things go down? Well, I do think we will see Will going through A LOT. He will be haunted by this past more than ever and won’t fully understand why… because his memories have been repressed. El, Vecna (and others) hold his memories. The most traumatic ones at least. Will needs to access these memories, this is key! Will may need to “combine” or rather “fuse” with El and Vecna in order to unlock the full truth of the past.

The library will be an important location because it’s an archive and holds truths of the past.

Mike will uncover the code, without a doubt. He’s far smarter than most give him credit for. Sure he can be oblivious at time, but he will be the one uncovering the truth… since he’s the only one who has it! He's "had it this whole time". He was the only one Will trusted enough to fully confide in, even if it was in code.

In terms of Will’s healing, I’m guessing we will also likely see Will meet with Ms. Kelley on several occasions, and hints of the truth will slowly come out. After learning the full truth, Will must learn two important facts:

What happened to him was never his fault. He "didn't deserve anything" that had happened to him.

He has “free will” and can break the cycle of a*use. He feels like he will inevitably become the monster, but that's just not true!

The monsters being fought will be internal monsters that have plagued Will since he was very young.

Will will be given strength by his support system and through finally learning to love and believe in himself.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[adhddbt]

Quite an ambitious agenda. But I've found that having one encourages me to get about twice as much (or more) done as I would have. Even if I only get through like 1/4 of the list. This goes well with other tools or tricks:

15 min. timer: Do something I've been putting off for 15 min. (Or 5.)

Body doubling: Have someone there during a task session or talk to someone on the phone.

No trick, but of course it's OK to switch these up or replace them as I like.

I alternate between things I'll like/ things really only "for me" vs things that feel more like obligations/ boring stuff. I call this sandwiching.

I feel like there's something still missing from this system. Added pressure, which is tricky. It has to be the right kind of pressure. Like one deadline for the first half, but how do I make that deadline real to my brain? And separately, have a reward if I get through that first half, and again for the second half.

Yesterday, I even made part of my reward going for a walk to the grocery store/ pharmacy and getting a couple things I wanted (not even treats, really. There was an amazing deal on cheese though. So...)

[beartes22]

Season 2 Jayce with season 1 Viktor this, beard Jayce with young Viktor that….fools, all of you. I raise you, season 2 arc 2 Viktor and season 1 Jayce.

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is getting really annoyed with the relationships unit in your sociology class because the whole thing is just 100% amatonormativity.

:\

if think your teacher, professor, and/or TAs might be interested in discussing the concept, I have some idea of bringing up the topic?

I'd personally say something like, "Hi, During our section in sociology around relationships, I couldn't help but think it would be interesting to discuss how a sociological theory called "amatonormativity" might relate to these lessons. I gathered a few sources from the professor who coined it, a thesis written on it, and a law review written about the connection between it and laws in the USA. There's some connections between its use in feminist thought and in queer theories, and I'd love to know your thoughts about it. I personally was thinking of when [specific statement] was said, and how I would apply this theory. I hope it's as interesting to you as it is to me."

Coiner's current webpage: https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/

Thesis: https://vc.bridgew.edu/honors_proj/330/ (click download in upper right hand corner for the PDF, depending on the individual it may be worth downloading and sending that rather than a link)

Law Review: https://uclawreview.org/2022/06/09/amatonormativity-in-the-law-an-introduction/

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

ik it’s probably a classic case of extrapolating way too much but... the way raph’s character design lines up w his whole arc and role and struggles...

like the fact that he is so so so much bigger than the others. raph is big, raph is strong, raph is steady and sturdy and he can literally pick up his entire family and carry them all at once. 

and like, when raph is so big and so strong and such a reliable thing. when raph is the protector, the one calling the shots on missions, the mother hen, the first point of authority. when raph is there, overprotective, when raph (for all that his brothers poke at him not being good under pressure) always always ALWAYS comes through at the end of the day when things are serious, ALWAYS gives it everything he’s got. 

his design and his learned role/behaviors in this family are just the perfect storm of why it took up to the season finale to drive home the issue.

so much of the series carries the default energy of “raph will handle it.”

raph will hold up the ceiling above you. raph will throw himself over you and take a hit and get back up and keep fighting. raph has a power that makes him even bigger and draws more attention and makes him able to carry MORE. raph will be the substitute parent. raph will be put into the mentor role through leo’s leadership arc. 

and raph is big. he’s built to carry heavy loads. raph is strong. raph is bold and loud and always ready to try to push on. even if he doesn’t know what to do or what he’s doing, he won’t give up and we’ll all pull together and things will turn out okay.

(his room is full of teddy bears. he dipped out on a mission to try to take a picture of a pigeon carrying a slice of pizza. he’s terrified of being alone.

he’s just as much of a kid as his brothers are. he’s just as new and inexperienced with the things happening to them as his brothers are. but for him, for some reason, there’s like this double standard where that becomes a huge glaring flaw.)

idk this got very sloppy and uncoordinated. i’m very in my feelings about raph right now though.