#other things we need to learn supportively.

[iplaywithstring]

A few years ago, when my then 13 year old came to me and said she thought she had ADHD, I was surprised, but supportive. I didn't know much about ADHD at the time aside from the "hyperactive boy" over-generalization.

Took us a while to get into a psychologist for assessment, and while we waited I read. A lot. Found out a bunch of my friends had ADHD diagnosed as adults. Learned about inattentive type. Realized my husband fit the criteria as well.

It took more than 2 years for my daughter to get treatment. At one point, she had an appointment with a child psychiatrist who confirmed she had ADHD, but refused treatment because she did well in school. He did write a prescription for mood stabilizers though, because she was really sad sometimes (she had just gone through her first break up! we never filled the prescription and never went back to him).

My husband was also able to get diagnosed and get treatment, as well as go off the anxiety meds he had been taking for years. Both of them have had a noticeable improvement in quality of life since starting their meds. They feel better, their relationships are better, they have had the space to learn new ways to manage things etc.

Medication for ADHD is similar to insulin for diabetics. If you don't need it, it can be dangerous, it can be abused. However if you do need it, not having access has horrible consequences. My daughter was worried going to university she would he trouble refilling her medication, but thankfully that hasn't happened. My husband, on the other hand, was reminded by his Dr that it's a controlled substance and needed a letter from the Dr who diagnosed him in order to refill the prescription (even though my husband had the bottle with him).

I fucking knew it, I SAID it: they're making ADHD people the next culture war targets. They will 'just ask questions' until we lose every scrap of ground we've gained in the last decade and more. We may not quite inspire the same level of hatred as a sexual minority, but we can very easily be made to inspire disdain and that also works.

They will strip us of our accomodations and our medications and try to stifle any sense of shared identity, and if that kills some of us, oh well. So long as it fuels another outrage cycle, fine.

So many of the tropes they've been using on trans people work extremely well on ADHD people too! "There are too many of these people suddenly! It must be a fad! It spreads through friend groups! And online! People are going private for diagnoses and that's bad! They are using pOwERfUl medical interventions and we think it's freaky!"

I saw the first ripples of this in terf circles about two years ago. And of course it's spread.

6% of British ADHD people lost their jobs in the last year thanks to the meds shortage. SIX PER CENT! And that just made these ghouls go "ooh, tasty, what else can we do?"

Recently an 'expert' was on the BBC saying people see ADHD diagnosis as a "golden ticket." Laurence Fox has been ranting that the condition doesn't exist and threatening "'you won't poison my child's body [with ADHD meds] against my consent"

People need to be aware this is going to get worse. Maybe, if we're lucky, it won't get really bad. But it's going to get worse than it is now.

[spatialwave]

➸ ask: “Now that arcanes over please could we get  relationship headcanons for Jayce (ignoring the ending💀) now that he’s maturer and been through shit” – ➸ pairing: jayce x reader ➸ word count: 737 ➸ tags: mdni! headcanons, fluff, post-arcane timeline, reader meets jayce after everything. ➸ notes: heavy on his trauma. he’s been through a lot, and the reader is his saving grace. 🤍

Dating Jayce isn’t perfect, but it’s close to it. You both have your flaws, and with everything he has been through, you both have a lot of patience for each other. Neither of you have been in a serious relationship like this, so it’s a learning curve, and one you both happily travel together.

Extremely monogamous, there is no one Jayce will ever have eyes for except you. He idolizes everything about you, the only person who makes his heart feel like it can love again.

He would propose to you so fast. After everything that’s happened, he knows that you’re the one and would be a fool to not marry you as soon as he can. (He makes the ring himself.)

Jayce is extremely protective of you, and while it can be overbearing at times, you often don’t mind. 

It overlaps with his abandonment issues, after what happened with Viktor, he fears losing you and always wants to make sure you’re safe. You remedy that with words of affirmation that soothe his worried heart.

He loves giving you gifts and spoiling you. Even if they’re impractical things, he can’t help it. He loves seeing the way your eyes light up when you open up another velvet box with new jewellery or the way you delicately put the 

Jayce is better at asking for help now. If he doesn’t know how to do things, he puts his pride aside and will ask earnestly. It’s usually for things, such as how to cook a decent meal or advice on how to better steer the council after days full of arguing for the better good of Piltover and Zaun.

He works best when you’re with him, needing someone there to keep him staying on track. Furthermore, he appreciates when you’re on his lap, his arm hooked around your waist as he works tirelessly to perfect the hextech research that Viktor left to him.

Since you’re both settled into your careers, he often talks about children or starting a family. Whether that’s in the cards, is up to you, and he never pressures you into agreeing. It’s you he loves, after all. (Though, he knows you would make great parents.)

He’s quick to frustration, which can lead into unnecessary arguments, but he’s always very shameful when he catches himself acting so. He’ll apologize and pepper you with so many kisses until you’re laughing and trying to weasel yourself away from him.

It’s extremely difficult for him to sleep, and even when he does, it’s only for a few hours. He leans on you for support, his heart swelling with how much you do for him, such as brewing a chamomile tea for him before bed or fighting your sleep to stay up with him so he’s not alone. 

Even though it makes his days hard, a part of him doesn’t mind because he loves watching the way you sleep soundly in his arms.

He may not get lots of sleep, but he could easily stay in bed with you all day if you were so inclined. It’s his favourite kind of day, when you can both forget about all your responsibilities and stay wrapped in each other’s arms. 

Kissing you is his favourite thing and will always be, he enjoys tasting sweets on your tongue. He loves pressing kisses to your jaw and hearing the sounds that come along with it, or assaulting your cheeks with a flurry of them to hear your giggles.

He’s extremely gentle with you. He may be rugged and tough on the outside, but you’ve never met a kinder and softer soul, even if he has his days when his past catches up to him. Your understanding and patience goes a long way.

Having his hands on you calms him, fingers brushing along your skin. Tracing patterns of runes he’s carved, sending shivers down your spines.

He enjoys evening drinks with you to unwind, a few glasses of wine and laughs about the shitty days you had. It’s the simple things in life he appreciates more.

Jayce has lived a lot of life for someone his age, which translated into a high level of maturity. He has a better understanding of how his words and actions may make you feel, and he’s a better partner for it.

Although he’s still navigating life after his mistakes, faults and trauma – you’re the one who helps make it easy.

[ir-abelas-vhenan]

I've been thinking a lot today about how easily people condemn Solas for making the choices he did or for so regularly refusing the help and love his friends or a romanced Lavellan extended to him and how that's a very easy thing to do from behind a screen in a fictional game where you are able to (with very few exceptions) curate a world in which your allies are loyal and your decisions will go the way you'd like them to.

And yeah, it's a game and that's kind of the point, but if I were to look at it a little more deeply (and who am I kidding, I got back on this website exclusively to process the aftermath of Veilguard) I'd say that there's so much to be found in wondering if the protagonists in any of the other games would have fared better in similar conditions.

Apparently I can't stop making long posts, so buckle in.

What would Morrigan have become in a world where the Warden never stumbled upon her cottage with Flemeth, if she never got the chance to see more of the world and decide what she wanted out of it? With just her mother (who, coincidentally in this Solas-y discussion is also kind of Mythal) and no support, who is to say what she would have unleashed upon the Korcari Wilds one day when the confines of her cage became too much?

What about Leliana? She, too, suffered at the hands of a very controlling abuser who tried to convince her that one lifestyle was all that her future held. What do we think she would have become if not for a chance meeting in Lothering with someone who could help her face down the woman that molded her?

Fenris, a character MANY people are just fine with was incredibly ready to kill a mage on sight if need be, no questions asked. Where do we think his story goes if he doesn't have someone in his corner early on enough in the game? If he doesn't get caught by Danarius, he's almost certainly going to end up on a murder spree, and he doesn't even have Justice whispering in his head to do it.

Cullen. Just all of him. It's an absolute miracle he hasn't snapped by the time you encounter him in Inquistion, and even then you get the benefit of intervening at a critical point in his story several times over.

Almost every other character could face this analysis and I think we'd reach a result that suggests perhaps the only thing keeping them lovable is your playable character's investment in their well-being.

Enter Solas. We don't meet him when he's twenty to thirty something and on the precipice of falling down a dark path. He's been there for literal millennia already, and with the exception of one close friend he's been alone. And not even Felassan is enough because of the years Mythal had prior to that friendship to make Solas exactly who she needed him to be.

I've had shit friends before that aren't just good at isolating people, they're naturals. I barely made it through high school with my mental health in place (in fact, looking back, it almost certainly wasn't). When you think you've got a true friend and they need something of you, it's so easy to blindly follow them because you think your love is enough to mark someone's soul as trustworthy. Solas doesn't learn that lesson until it's too late, and even when he does he can't turn back: the spirit that was once Wisdom has been exposed to several of the worst ancient elves to ever exist and now he has to stand his ground rather than let it all fall, because that is what Pride would dictate. Admitting that the person you gave your love and labor and time to is a monster is hard. And he was alone.

Give me Morrigan after centuries with her mother. Show me Leliana after the years have become a blur and the only voice whispering in her ear is Marjolaine's. Show me the innocent mages that don't make it through if all Fenris has for years and years and years are the scars Danaris left him and the means to make more. Show me Cullen if he stays in a chain of command under a Knight Commander who knows exactly what he fears and holds it over his head for so long he forgets what it was like to be an excited kid begging the templars for training because he just wants to keep people safe.

We get companions in these games who are broken by the time they're twenty. Solas has spent thousands of years in servitude to a cause of a woman he believed to be his only friend. He doesn't know who he is without her influence, anymore, only exists physically in the first place because she asked it of him and then asked again and again and again. He doesn't have a witty band of merry fools to pull him out of that cycle. He has Felassan, but he has him during war after war after war in the hopes of freeing others from the very situation that torments him.

Trauma from war affects everyone touched by it, nevermind the fact that Solas is actively responsible for saving the lives of thousands and feels each life like a weight around his neck because maybe he can save them like he cannot save himself. We should always be worried about the people trying to do the most good. Who is looking out for them? Why are they so determined to help others? Could it be that it's something they wish others had done for them?

Solas certainly feels comradery with Felassan from working together to free slaves from the very people he helped put in power because Mythal told him it would be okay only to leave him with the pieces, but even the Solas that Felassan knows has been turned into an attack dog shying away from the touch of the very person it desires to be near above all others by the time their relationship forms.

The fact that Solas is able to try and show the Inquisitor who he is at all is a miracle as far as I'm concerned, a sign of a peaceful spirit of Wisdom who loves knowledge for the sake of it finally sensing that there might be a chance to embrace its nature again.

Yeah, if you give him what he has come to expect from people with power, if you let near-absolute power over the masses corrupt you, he's going to bristle and try to shut your inquisitor down.

But if you show him even the smallest bit of kindness? If you treat him like the starving wolf he talks about and feed him instead of fighting him? God, it shatters his entire existence.

It's called a cycle of abuse for a reason. Finding friendship, finding the love of your long-ass life can be the first step in realizing there's better out there. But the time it takes to learn that? When you're too weary to even reach out for help in the first place and afraid of every kind word or gesture because you've never known such tenderness (on a platonic OR romantic level, both matter so so much) before?

Part of the compelling tragedy of Solas is that it's almost Orpheus-like how he knows what he has been made into and still cannot stop himself from yearning for more, from turning around to see if just this once something has changed. You can't convince me that he hasn't spent years hoping that someone will hear the legend of the Dread Wolf and see it for what it is, a leash the Evanuris created for Mythal's whipping boy to ensure that even if he ever escapes them, the people he fought to save will hate him. And I cannot blame him for the shock and terror that consumes him when he realizes someone finally has.

You give me any of dragon age companions after the amount of time Solas spent under Mythal's thumb without your character's intervention and you tell me how that looks.

You tell me if they're able to change at the first sign of something that feels too good to be true.

And then, I want you to tell me they're any less worthy of trying to save, especially when you know how good their best can be.

Solas might be hard for some fans to love, but it's only because he serves as the perfect representation of the beast we are all capable of becoming when the love that sustains us, assuming we receive any at all, is laced with poison.

The journey out of that place, out of a literal prison of regret, is brutal, and I'm thrilled that even with the many things about Veilguard I'm still struggling with, we have the chance to let Solas try again with the help of those who love him not because he never fell down, but because they believe in the beauty of a future where he gets back up again.

[anxiousapplepie]

I know that Housemaiden!Siffrin is The Worst Housmaiden of Ever.

But here me out! What if instead, they are actually the best Housemaiden of Change in the most unconventional of ways. Not in the traditional following of the Change belief of Housemaiden duties mind you. But going down to its core.

*Points at the Circle Key* Intimate awareness due to inbuilt unknowing Universe belief that everything is contained within Greater Magnitudes. A single star in a constellation, a night sky, a galaxy, a Universe.

*Points at Angry Mask Key* All things, emotions and feelings especially are temporary, fleeting. Some things stick around longer than others, but everything will inevitably Change in the end. Why hold onto the things that will inevitably disappear? Why form attachment to places and people and things for ages when you’re just going to stumble away and forget them pretty soon? Learning and living and trouble and strife is all just temporary- things will Change soon enough, no need to fret.

*Points at Egg Key* For every Change, something needs to Break. Destruction is an inherent part of change that must be Accepted. And well. Can’t help but Change a little all the time with the constant degrading and destruction of the person you used to be. If your world and memory are constantly being destroyed and rewritten, if the person you used to be is destroyed a little more with every bit you forget. Is that not too a Change? Change is destruction, and for how much of yourself you destroy just by existing, the Change itself is Inevitable.

((Sorry to get so poetic and angsty about all this the point is I love your Roleswaps so so much and HM!Sif is such a good Dunk Buddy but I WILL SUPPORT THEM YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE (to both Applepie and HM!Sif)))

The duality of Housemaiden!Siffrin is beautiful and valid and I am here for every bit of it. Your poetic musings make me SO happy and it's thanks topeople like you that we can all dive deep into stuff like this BECAUSE THIS IS GOOD YOU'RE DOING AMAZING HM!SIF!!! WE LOVE YOU!!! (And thank you!!! <3)

[ezekieltobiasfletcher]

DO NOT DESPAIR! That's how MAGA wins. MAGA is nothing but a bunch assholes who peaked in high school and never matured, along with their stepford wives/girlfriends. Life was never meant to be without toil. Life was never meant to be "easy". Plus, "simple" and "easy" are not the same thing. We are not meant to have an easy life. That only makes us weak and entitled. We are stronger than they are. We do the hard mental and physical work. We are actually more powerful than they are, and we need to stop demurring ourselves and hiding in our "safe spaces" and bubbles getting all resentful. Resentment is a complete waste of time. Redirect that resentment into anger, then let it become resolve, and then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Posting on social media isn't doing something. In a time of oppression and conformity, having the courage to be your authentic self is an act of rebellion. In a time of hate, courageously loving is an act of rebellion. And hey y'all, LOVE IS AN ACTION WORD! Focus on community building. Focus on your own mental and physical health. Start reading US depression era authors. Read Viktor E. Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning". Read Beat authors and absurdist philosophers like Albert Camus. Listen to folk music. Get resourceful, learn how to make do and do without, learn how to build community, support a community, build wealth in skills, read Queer history, organize, support, heal, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Now it's time to suck it up buttercup and get to work! If our grandparents and great-grandparents survived WWI, A Flu Pandemic, the Great Depression, and WWII, we can all certainly survive this. If our parents and our grandparents survived the civil rights era, Vietnam protests, the Cold War, the oil embargo with hyperinflation, and the Nixon/Reagan eras, we can survive this. I love you. You can do this. I believe in you. Now get to work!

I don’t know how to explain this well…but I’m 30 years old and I feel like I’ve had to ‘sacrifice’ my entire adult life to unprecedented times, the pandemic and daily anxiety over hateful politicians and whatever rights they want to take away on any given day and I’m just so fucking tired

[34saveme34]

Oh SMG4, do you never learn?

---

This time… it would become perfect… It really would! At least SMG4 was sure as he sat in front of his computer, at a rather late hour at night, trying to figure out his video. It was half finished at this point. He watched a certain bit over and over. Repeating it. Really paying attention. Humming as thoughts came to his mind. And none were supporting this. Was this video… actually funny? He sighed, deleting a big chunk he thought was the unfunny bit and tried to figure out if he could come up with anything. Maybe with a well placed transition he could add the comedic timing he needed? No uh… Was the script actually good? He looked it over and it just… it sounded dumb. More dumb than usual, not even the good kind. He could feel a wave, as if through his spirit but no, it was the soon oncoming headache making his job way harder. But he worked until he could look at that screen. But did it become so… Uncomfortable. His eyes felt uncomfortable… The light… so much! It’s too much! 

He got up, he needed… He needed to do something else!

Each step he took away from his computer felt painful. It felt like precious time being wasted. So much time he could spend… creating. And he loves creating so that’s… This was just so wasteful!

He closed his door and it felt as if he could breathe again. The air was fresh, the castle was weirdly quiet and 4 decided to head for the kitchen. He could barely even comprehend anything around him with the change of scenery, let alone that this was supposed to be weird. 

He grabbed some milk and cereal to eat. He poured some. He stared at the bowl for a bit. Probably not long but who knows, time felt unreal to him then.

He started eating, each crunch feeling so loud. He wasn’t sure if he liked this or not. He remembered his video. How the joke carried in it. He chuckled which he did at the wrong time as he choked on his cereal for a second.

It was as if sobriety hit him. He was struggling but he never felt so real. For a second, nothing else existed but that stupid ass cereal trying to kill him. He resumed, now unnervingly awake. And the whole time he was, with the same intensity, it wouldn’t go away.

He finished up. He washed the bowl away he used along with the spoon as well, deciding it shouldn’t be left for later and definitely not because he was procrastinating.

He finished and just stood there. It had to be perfect. Ugh… The transition idea is awful, it could never work with the kind of joke he was telling there. Maybe something inbetween that other part of the joke so there’s just… some air there? Ugh where would he even need to go with this to make it right? Maybe stopping it for a second to explain the joke in a really matter of fact way to add some ironic layering to the whole bit? Ugh noooo… That was such a bad phase of jokes anyways! And it’s so old fashioned at this point! Only SMG3 would do such stupid things, it wasn’t 4’s thing to be a saint of dead memes or something. Without further thought, he discarded that thought. None of what he had in mind was good enough which meant he needed to do research…

He went to his room to search for his phone. He searched his bed, his desk, everywhere around his computer, the ground, any kind of surface where it could end up on. But it was nowhere. Instead, he found a note, attached to a trash bag he kept by his table. He decided to keep one there because the coffee cups from 3’s and all the ordered food he’d get made quite a lot of trash and he didn’t like leaving the room to take them out. Especially because of course he’d always need to take it out when he just really got into the zone. 

“Come to the café, we need to talk, you’ll get your phone back after” was written on the note.

4 didn’t know what to think for a moment. So… 3 took his phone, huh? There was slow rage building up in him. He was SO in the zone too, with his thoughts so strongly all about his to-be-perfect video. This time could’ve been it but noooo 3 had to play stupid games. Well, you know what they say… Fuck around and find out, SMG3.

4 went over, stomping to 3’s, but in such a tired way. But he didn’t realise that. He was too angry for that.

He saw Luigi, 3, Mario, Meggy and Tari at a table, talking. He also spotted his phone there on the table, luckily not in use at all. He didn’t need another dose of 3’s search history…

But this still felt so… So intimidating to him. Why were there so many of them? If it was just 3 he would fight him for his phone and then he’d quickly be back to work on his life work but nooo- Nooo instead it had to be many of his friends! And he frankly felt scared. He stood there for a while to the point that his friends noticed him. They stared at him and he stared back. He really didn’t want to go inside.

3 looked clearly more and more annoyed until he sighed, got up and walked towards 4. 4 didn’t know how to handle this. As the man got closer, he took a step back too, albeit not as many, making him rather easy for 3 to reach. And as soon as he did, without a word, even a hello or something, he dragged him inside the café by his arm. Not that 4 really resisted. While he was scared he was also still confused. This situation couldn’t be real… right? Damn it.

3 let go of 4 when he managed to finally get 4 to be in front of everyone. With all their eyes on him.

“Can I just get my phone back?” 4 asked, quietly. He didn’t want to seem like he was gonna lash out any moment. It was hard though… Who could even have an idea on what they could do to him if they had a reason to think he was in any way possibly unstable mentally. Not to say that wasn’t the truth though.

“Well-” Meggy said “This is… an intervention”

“Yeah, we’re worried for you, SMG4!” Tari said with sadness in her voice that almost managed to make 4 sad. 3 was now oddly silent.

“I don’t need an intervention! I’m a full time funnyman, I need to tend to it as well!”

“But SMG4! Even the funniest men need a break!” Mario pleaded “Mario would be so happy to see his best friend take a well deserved break!”

“I. DON’T. need… I DON’T NEED A BREAK!!” 4, although exhausted he still managed to scream at his friends.

“SMG4…” Luigi tried intervening “You do deserve one! You work so hard everyday! I don’t know anyone else who deserves a break as much as you do!”

“I have SO many better things to do than to argue with you guys! I have a video I still need to finish! I was SO close to finding the right thing to make it extra funny too! But you of course have to sabotage me with your cute little intervention, thinking it’s what I need! Well I don’t need this, in fact, this is making it so m-” 4’s rant was cut short by 3 slapping him. The room became hazed in silence. Nobody knew what to say. 3 was looking at 4 with a glare that could almost burn him away. Not that he could look away. 

“... And what was that for? I was clearly talking” 4 said, trying to keep his anger back.

“You-” 3 started.

“SMG3, we talked about this!” Meggy stopped him.

“Enough.” 3 looked at her. He sighed then looked back at 4 “SMG4. Do you know how fucking worried everyone is for you? It’s like you don’t care at all. I’ve never known someone AS selfish as YOU. And I’ve known some dastardly people yet no one comes close to the lack of care you demonstrate for your friends. BECAUSE you don’t look after yourself, we have to look after you and you push us away each time. Who’s the tsundere in this crew again, asshole?? WHO??”

“You don’t NEED TO CARE ABOUT ME!”

“YOU DON’T GET TO DICTATE THAT”

“Guys I think we should ca-” Tari tried to cut the fight off but failed.

“Well, I DON’T want your care. I’ll take my phone now. And then you have to leave me alone”

3 grabbed 4’s arms before he could take his phone.

“You’re DESTROYING yourself!”

“And it’s worth it”

“Do you really care so little about us?”

“Maybe I do”

3 let go of 4’s arms. Prolonged silence. 4 sobered up from his anger as he saw 3 start crying.

Before 4 could say anything, 3 spoke his mind instead.

“Good to know that everything I’ve ever said to you meant nothing then. Thanks for that, a-asshole” 3 left to his room without another word. 4 could only stand there stunned. God, did that hurt… Why did he have to even say that?

“If that’s how you feel” Mario said “Maybe it’s better if Mario leaves too” he then went to 3’s room, presumably to comfort him.

“Here’s your phone, go now” Meggy put his phone in his hands.

“Meggy-” 

“Don’t. Just go. You’ve caused enough damage as is. BESIDES you said you don’t care. So act like that”

“I… agree… If your work is more important to you than us then just go away” Tari forced it out then started crying.

“There there… It’s his loss” Luigi tried his best offering comfort to Tari before shooting a fast glare at SMG4. He wasn’t welcome there anymore.

He turned to leave with a strong grip on his phone. If he were to be choking his phone with a little more strength he would’ve broken it already. Regardless, his legs carried him back to his castle, a symbol of teamwork disgraced. And then back to his room, a reminder of the person he hurt the most. It hurt too much.

He sat in front of his computer, placing down his phone on his desk. Yet, he was unable to work. They really… he really shouldn’t have done that… Was he starting to become like that again? He swore he got over it but the need… The need to prove himself would just come back to haunt him anyways. Haunting him in his bones like tales he was supposed to learn from. And he’d be damned if he didn’t try and might as well be because he failed. What a better way than to sit and wallow in self pity over something he caused himself? He didn’t mean to, he really didn’t. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. And yet he did. SMG3 was totally right, he had really grown so… selfish. But this stagnation of just sitting and doing nothing was killing him.

“Man…” he sighed loudly to himself “I wish I could forget and move on…”

“I could do that” a strange voice SMG4 hadn’t heard before called out.

“HUH WHAT HUH” he whipped his head around, searching where the voice could come from.

“I’m right here” the voice called out again. Finally 4 found them, looking back at them from their monitor.

He could only see them looking out from under a window he had open, it was his project. Due to it, he could only see some of them, for which he moved the window away from them. Finally, he could see the stranger in their computer, looking back at him a little unimpressed. With a cold green eye looking back at him, the other one obscured by their rather long one sided bang. Some of their hair was tied in a ponytail. Their dark gray lipstick also served quite the contrast with their fair skin. Then he noticed what seemed like a microphone attached on their scarf. It just felt… weird… Wait…

“Are you in any way affiliated with Mr Puzzles?” he looked at them sceptically.

“Not as far as I’m concerned.” they said “But yes, isn’t it rude of me to not introduce myself? I’m Ann Tertainment, but just call me Annie please…”

“Uhuh… Why are you in my computer… can I turn you off….”

“You can try” they grinned. 

SMG4 took this as a challenge, opening task manager. To his absolute horror, none of the programs listed in there could be traced back to them. 

“Damn…”

“Don’t be too sad… it’s gross… But… back to your laments, SMG4”

“Hm?”

“I could help you”

“How do you plan to do that?”

“Which one do you care more about? Your friends or youtube?”

The question caught 4 off guard. It really stunned him.

“Why… Why are you asking me that?”

“I have the power to make you forget one or the other. If I make you forget about youtube, you can go and have fun with your friends without having to worry about your perfection complex again”

“Mhmm?”

“Or, I can make you forget about your friends so you can finally finish your lifework and make a perfect video and prove that you’re still worth it. Honestly, a rather fulfilling purpose… unless you care more about your friends”

4 looked in front of himself.

“I’ll give you time to choose but there is a time limit. By then, you have to decide, which way you want to go”

“A….Alright”

Was he genuinely considering this? Oh god…

By the time he could ask any more questions from Annie, they were gone. Dang.

---

Alright! Now you have to choose for SMG4 since he definitely can't!

some stuff before that:

- Please think of the implications of both choices before voting

- Sorry but there is no way to refuse Annie's offer, it's choose to forget something or perish

- By the end of the vote, I will add together all votes both from here and Tumblr to decide

- If overall vote goes over 100 votes, I will release both possible endings

This poll will also go at Google Forms too! And possibly for longer so if you miss the Tumblr one you might still get a chance at that one. Yes you're also allowed to do both Forms and Tumblr if you want, I can't check it in a meaningful way anyways

happy voting :3

[teamchillidogs]

Oï!!

First, I want to say, I love this comic and genuinely can’t wait to see what awaits for us next ♡♡♡

The premise is such an interesting concept– And the art is to die for, hello?? (all my ♡ to you guys, and I mean ALL of you!)

I just had two tiny questions, if it haven’t been already answered:

If it doesn’t spoil anything, is Sonic still going to be able to run at his full speed with that mechanical leg? Or is he going to be limited? I can’t imagine my poor baby stuck with average speed, but I’m not really sure that this leg is capable of supporting his sonic speed.

And second, mostly adressed to others fans... WHY IS EVERYBODY BLAMING MAH BOI TAILS FOR EVERYTHING?? Like, yeah sure he’s technically responsible but–

Why is nobody blaming Knuckles too?!

Both Sonic and Amy told Tails to come back to the ARK and let Sonic&Shadow handle things, and I think we can safely say he would have (even reluctantly) obeyed and gone back to the ship.

But noooooo, Knuckles had to chime him and told him to make himself useful.

Useful.

To the boy who literally just witnessed his BigBroTM (fake) death in an explosion without being able to do anything abt it.

The kid who just had an entire arc abt gaining confidence and learning to step out of Sonic’s shadow (pun not intented), to be his own person with his own purpose and all that jazz.

The child who’s probably still pump up on the adrealine from his fight with Eggman (which he won if I remember my SA2 correctly).

Knuckles, mah bro, best hot-headed himbo of the franchise. You could not have chosen a worst time to utter these words.

Of course Tails was going to take him up on that and try to ”MaKe HiMsElf UsEfUl”, why wouldn’t he?? He defeated Eggman in battle (Left-over adrealine and possibly cockiness?), and didn’t seem to trust Shadow with Sonic (who, again, was thought Dead literaly less than half an hour ago bc of the Team Shadow was on– Seriously, I can see why he’d like to be by his side when Sonic is again risking his life out there for them)

And franckly, how was he supposed to realize how bad his intervention would turn out to be? It never got that bad before, why now?

#StoptheTailshate #HoldKnucklesaccountable

Sorry for the rambling and the terrible english, but it had to be said, bruh. Tails ain’t even in my Top-5 favorites character, but everyones’ so harsh on the baby, he needed some backup 🥺😭

Hii @sookilini here answering as per usual!

this is the best ask we have ever received and it's honestly my favorite, thank you so much for sending this.

I always get to excited and emotional when i read these things, thank you so much for your kind words <333

ALSO THANK YOU FOR NOT ATTACKING TAILS, he has been DRAGGED TO FILTH I CAN´T TAKE IT /j

So first: is Sonic still going to be able to run at his full speed with that mechanical leg? Or is he going to be limited?

Unfortunately, the people of Marmolim (the planet he landed on) as you may have been able to tell, don't know who Sonic is and are unaware of his speed and abilities. So, the prosthetic leg isn´t capable of withstanding his speed...

Secondly

Why is nobody blaming Knuckles too?

I honestly have no idea why most people commenting did not catch onto Knuckles provoking Tails by poking at his insecurities, I'd even dare to say his ego more so... Tails got into his head "oh I don't need Sonic to get things done. I can do anything, I'm more than just the brains, I can do the action too" at least this is my intention with his actions.

We have to remember, Tails is literally just a child at the end of the day, yes he is incredibly smart but can you really expect a 12-year-old-ish kid to act rationally when put in a stressful life or death situation while getting yelled at by everyone for just trying to help?

Nobody would ever expect a kid to even be in that situation to begin with right? at least that´s what I think.

We all know Knux isn´t the smartest in hindsight...he isn't stupid by any means, but he will say what comes to his mind without second guessing for sure.

But oh well...Knuckles isn´t here to defend himself....anymore...

But there is still hope

[biancadoes1]

First of all: happy birthday! Wishing you lots of happiness and many more years of life! 🥳

So I have a group of friends that I care about a lot. We met because of our love for Bridgerton. Like many of us, they ended up boarding the "Lukola" ship. I’ve grown closer to them over the past few months, but I feel like they’re starting to act strangely regarding Nicola, especially after the addition of A and JD to the story.

They’ve been judging Nic and Luke’s posts as if they know details no one else does. They’re judging Nic as if she were Judas and had done terrible things. They accuse her of only caring about self-promotion, sidelining Luke, and being the one to blame for the nasty comments people direct at Luke. They’re saying Nic does everything deliberately and knows she’s harming Luke on purpose. They even claim Netflix and Shonda only care about Nic and forget that Luke exists.

I’ve tried to bring some sense to the conversation by saying that social media represents only 10% or less of a celebrity’s life and that we can��t judge things as if we actually know them or live with them. But I feel like they withdraw when I make comments like that. I believe they just want an echo chamber for their thoughts.

I’ve been thinking about distancing myself, but these girls were a great support for me when I lost a close relative. I feel ungrateful for even considering stepping away. At the same time, I’m bothered by the way they talk about Nicola. We’re all women and we know the pressure of being a woman, especially in the world of fame.

No offense, anon, but your friends sound like they need help. Do they all know how to tie their own shoes? It sounds like they haven’t learned a lot in life.

Anyone attempting to claim that Nicola or Luke are attempting to hurt each other over social media with their behaviors is a tried and true idiot.

Get new a new group. If you’re bothered by this and have a hard time seeing past it, it’s definitely time to find different people to talk with.

I understand feeling some obligation to stay for fear of seeming ungrateful but you also have to take care of yourself and in a situation involving a group chat with people with the same interest, you should always come first.

Protect your own peace. There’s nothing selfish about doing that. There are plenty of other people in the fandom who think like you do and are willing to have discussions. You just have to find them.

[princessofendos]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ Hello ! I am Natasha/Angel. I am from The Corporate Tower; or for this blog, The Princess / Princess Natasha / Princess Angel! You dont have to call me princess though, just for funsies and the theme of the blog ! <3

I have come here to announce that I am now happy to announce I am a proud loyalty and the princess to @queenofproendos ! (we do not legitimately see the blog as our queen, just playing along with the fun and silly royalty theme between me, that blog, the knight, the jester, and other people's blogs surrounding this playful theme parody of astro's blog. almost like a roleplay!)

The gender in my profile picture is cherryblossflowic, one of my genders. (pfp post here)

Our pronouns.cc !

My strawpage ! (please view on desktop)

This is a blog that I am going to run for mainly about anything system related. For the sake of the system community, please, anti-endogenics do not interact with this blog. You have your own communities too! Stay in your lane and respect your own DNI!

Its primarily for those that are pro-endogenic, of any system origin, anti-c paraphiles, freaks, queer community, mogai community, etc.

If you want userboxes please request our userbox blog @corporateuserboxes .

If you want a MOGAI or xenogender please request our MOGAI blog @corporatecoinings .

This blog we will post moodboards and pride pixels (round and rectangle) ! But please be clear about what you want and provide images if you can ! <3

Here are some things we allow!

venting (with warning stated at the top for any triggering topics)

general talking about anything if you want

questions (we are allowed to deny anything we dont want to answer)

playful and silly "anon hate" (please use tone tags!)

literally anything within anyones system, headspace, etc.

requests for moodboards

requests for pride pixels

Things we do NOT allow !

political topics

Astro and his supporters (go away)

debate about our identities (not up for discussion ever)

harassment towards us or other people

talking to us in a shitty attitude

thats kinda it i'll update this later <3

Some things to know before you interact !

we are anti-radqueer, anti-transid, anti-contact paraphilia, and anti-proship!

we think contradictory labels are valid!

we think every system and plural origin is valid!

we are systemarchist and pluralpunk/systempunk!

we are pro-endogenic obviously!

Before any of you attack me, us, or this blog, we are a primarily traumagenic system (with additionally neurogenic and paragenic origins). We were diagnosed as a traumagenic system before we learned of our other origins as well. We fully support endogenic systems. If you dont like that, dont bother complaining about it to us; we are not listening to any of you bitch and whine to the princess.

Being pro-endogenic does not strip us of our respect and dignity. We are a system and always will be. If endogenics say they are a system, they are a system.

On this blog, we support inclusivity and positivity.

Tags !

pro endo court -> the tag for all blogs related to being loyal to queenofproendos ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ the princess of endos -> tag that goes on every post ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ the princess speaks to you! -> inboxes ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ the flowers are blossoming once again -> positive topics ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ the flowers have wilted but will return soon -> negative topics ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ the princess wishes to have a chat with you! -> me talking about stuff ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ the princess is feeling moody -> moodboards ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ the princess has found something shiny -> pride pixels

Something silly me and Syntax made...

more possibly coming soon !

will update this again when needed ! :)

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[philosophicalparadox]

Got a Japanese grocery store near me. It IS kept very meticulously neat and orderly, but in a completely different way than what we usually see in the US — the “flow” of foods breaks up differently I guess.

Even so, despite now living on the East coast where literally anything from Japan is easily three to six times the cost as it was in California, many foods are still much cheaper.

And there’s WAY more variety. If you ever wanted to know about 21 different types of edible seaweed, and how to use them, that’s the place to go, and they WONT bankrupt you like a health food store.

The exception is some snack foods and other imports — but largely, the produce in that store actually comes from California; it often says so right on the boxes.

You see, the US has very weird food standards aesthetically, so we import a huge quantity of produce, and export the stuff that’s Ugly or that we just aren’t interested in.

But some of it stays here — and goes principally to markets aimed at minorities.

SO if you actually want to support US agriculture AND get cheap groceries, do absolutely find an Asian or even Hispanic / pretty much any minority market/store. I grew up next to the latter, with a similar butcher shop across the street. It was often times the only way we even could afford produce and meat; neither store was pretty by US standards, but it was INFINITELY better than relying on the quite literally rotten food that came in the food boxes. At some point FREE just gets used as a convenient excuse to dump waste somewhere and make it someone else’s problem; and while we did need to rely on those boxes at times, you bet your ass we nickel and dimed our way into those produce markets and learned to make preserves, because nobody should have to eat f-ing rotting food. But that is another story for another day.

Point is you are doing a lot more good for a lot more people shopping in a store like that than feeding the corporate overlords.

(And for the record, when I say cheaper, which is not a term most Americans associate with Japanese anything, I mean it — a bushel - that is about two pounds- of apples at Acme/safeway is like 4-6 bucks, so 2-3$ a pound. At this particular Japanese and sometimes Korean market, THE SAME APPLES are like 50c- 1.00 a pound, because They’re From The US and often are just not as pretty as ones you’d buy elsewhere. Yeah, you’ll have to cut around some nicks and bruises on that pear (and OMG do they have pears! Like 6 varieties!) but it’s perfectly edible and delicious.

Same goes for herbs. Whole Foods is a freaking rip off selling fresh mint for 2 dollars for like 12 stems. The Japanese market? You can get an entire damn mint plant for that price. Dried spices are sold in bulk like at Winco, from hoppers with bags. You pay by weight, not brand. So you can in fact get more than 6 stamens of Saffron for the 9$ that freakin’ McCormic sells that stuff. (You pay for the glass bottle more than anything).

The ONLY thing that makes this market unappealing to people: They put just about everything they can in Metric. Weights are sold by mg and kilo first; there are numbers that correlate to the respective pound /ounce on some things, and others are just in US imperial like the apples. But if you weigh the spices or pasta or anything like that, you’ll be charged for the metric conversion. Which apparently upsets dumb people who don’t understand that a gram is far more precise than an ounce, and that it keeps them from losing stock too fast since they’re pretty small fish — it’s owned by two people, and staffed by maybe 7 at a time. They don’t get priority on restock.

Anyway, small business grocery = best place to buy food

How to Shop at an Asian (or other ethnic) Grocery Store

Do you live in or near a city in the US?

Need to save some money on groceries?

Might I introduce you to... shopping at the local Asian grocery?

Asian grocery stores aimed at an Asian-American customer base almost always beat the prices of their western (or for-western) counterparts. Often by a significant amount, especially in categories like produce, meat, rice, and spices. Plus in addition to lower prices, you get the satisfaction of supporting a small, local business instead of a larger chain store.

(Note that a lot of this information applies to other ethnic grocery stores as well, but we're using Asian because they're common in many cities, and have particularly good prices on produce.)

But it can be a little bit of a learning curve when you first start to shop at them. This post will give you the information you need to navigate them.

So how do you find a good Asian grocery store?

First, go on google maps and search "grocery".

Note that you are NOT googling "Asian Grocery" or "Cheap Grocery". If you search "Asian Grocery" you will get results for Asian stores marketing toward a western audience, and because of this, will be neat, shiny, and very pricey. If you search "Cheap Grocery" you will get stores marketing themselves as cheap, which generally are only slightly less expensive than their "expensive" counterparts (think Aldi). Okay in a pinch, but you can do better.

Second, look at the pictures of all the stores you can easily get to.

Here's what you want: not a lot of printed ads, pictures of hand-written signs (especially in languages other than English), food in cardboard bins, and you want it to look kind of "junky". Bonus points if you can see prices listed in the pictures or the people shopping there are mostly older, ethnic women.

Third, If you couldn't find anything like this, go on your city's subreddit.

Search "cheap", "cheap grocery" and "expensive grocery". Why "expensive grocery"? Because you want to find people complaining about grocery prices, and you want to see the advice they get. Many times, that advice is Asian or ethnic grocery stores.

If you're still not getting anything, google "[city name] cheap grocery" and "[city name] expensive grocery" (see above). Scroll until you get to FORUMS discussing groceries in your city. You DO NOT want blogs or articles. Again, you're looking at the advice people are given when they complain about grocery prices.

One of the first questions people ask upon walking into an Asian grocery store of the type discussed in this post is:

"Is the food I'm getting here safe to eat?"

The answer is just as safe as anywhere else you might shop.

You're probably used to very clean, pretty, well-lit, well-organized stores. This will probably not be that, but it will be regulated by the same health department that regulates those stores. They are held to the same standards.

It's a lot of work to keep a store looking like a western consumer expects. It's a lot less work (and thus less money) to keep a store looking like an ethnic career housewife or grandmother expects. That is largely where the savings comes from.

What's a good deal at an Asian grocery?

Produce. You're probably used to things like onions and carrots being the cheapest per pound. Here it's going to be greens, apples, pears, radish, cabbage and maybe squash and sweet potatoes. Check unit prices and prepare to try some new things. Also a pound of greens is a LOT of greens. Keep that in mind. Also keep in mind that you might see a few pieces of produce that are bruised or have mold on them. That's okay. Just don't buy those pieces. The rest of the batch is probably fine. Wash produce when you get home if you're concerned, though you should be doing that anyway.

Rice and dry beans. If you like to buy in bulk, you're in luck. Don't expect to walk away with a pound or two of these. They come in 40lb packages. But if you tailor most of your meals around them, those meals will be cheap af. There are also lots of different types of specialty rice if you want to make your own sushi or mochi. Learn how to soak and sprout beans.

Tofu. Tofu is expensive when you buy it at a health food store. It is not when you buy it at an Asian grocery. It probably won't be in pretty packages, but again, cheap is not going to be super pretty.

Meat and fish. Meat is generally going to be cheaper here, though maybe not by as much as the produce is. Pork will probably be your cheapest option. You may also see cuts you don't normally see, like tongue, intestine, liver, kidneys, blood, etc... "Weird," however, does not automatically mean cheap in this context. Check unit prices and prepare to be adventurous. If you don't know what else to do with them, dried fish and animal organs make fantastic stock when boiled.

Spices. Again with the extremely large quantities here. But very inexpensive compared with their western counterparts.

Candy. This makes a great inexpensive gift if you need one, since the candy sold at these stores is fairly exotic for a western audience.

What isn't a good deal at an Asian grocery?

Dairy. This includes fresh milk, butter, cheese, etc... If they have it, it will be very expensive. Consider buying elsewhere.

Eggs. Again, this will probably be as expensive or more than the eggs you could get at a western supermarket.

Snacks. Pre-made items will be expensive in general, even though they may be tempting because they are different from what you are used to and you don't need to learn to cook a new thing. Do your best to avoid these and make your own if you can. If you can't, frozen pork or vegetable dumplings are probably your best bet for a quick meal.

Bread. It's pricey. A lot of Asian cuisines use rice, noodles, or buns for their starch instead of western-style bread. So if you can find it it will often be a novelty item.

What else do I need to know?

It's okay to be overwhelmed by new ingredients. Look up some YouTube videos on how to cook certain ingredients if you're not familiar with them.

These are not supermarkets. They sell food and sometimes the kitchenware (steamers, woks, chopsticks, etc...) needed to cook it. You will probably need to get your soap and household items somewhere else.

Pay in cash if you can. Most of these are very small businesses and paying them cash makes it so they don't need to pay credit card fees. At the very least, make the minimum purchase before paying with a card.

[adhddbt]

Quite an ambitious agenda. But I've found that having one encourages me to get about twice as much (or more) done as I would have. Even if I only get through like 1/4 of the list. This goes well with other tools or tricks:

15 min. timer: Do something I've been putting off for 15 min. (Or 5.)

Body doubling: Have someone there during a task session or talk to someone on the phone.

No trick, but of course it's OK to switch these up or replace them as I like.

I alternate between things I'll like/ things really only "for me" vs things that feel more like obligations/ boring stuff. I call this sandwiching.

I feel like there's something still missing from this system. Added pressure, which is tricky. It has to be the right kind of pressure. Like one deadline for the first half, but how do I make that deadline real to my brain? And separately, have a reward if I get through that first half, and again for the second half.

Yesterday, I even made part of my reward going for a walk to the grocery store/ pharmacy and getting a couple things I wanted (not even treats, really. There was an amazing deal on cheese though. So...)

[windwardstar]

it's super nerve wracking being the first trans person in a space and just being so visibly and loudly. but like, you're never the only one. and having seen all the people who were already in the space decide to come out because it's now something they realize it safe to do, and also watch it pull in more queer people because the space is now explicitly welcoming is one of those things that's just made it all worth it. the garden will grow if you plant the seeds and tend to it.

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is getting really annoyed with the relationships unit in your sociology class because the whole thing is just 100% amatonormativity.

:\

if think your teacher, professor, and/or TAs might be interested in discussing the concept, I have some idea of bringing up the topic?

I'd personally say something like, "Hi, During our section in sociology around relationships, I couldn't help but think it would be interesting to discuss how a sociological theory called "amatonormativity" might relate to these lessons. I gathered a few sources from the professor who coined it, a thesis written on it, and a law review written about the connection between it and laws in the USA. There's some connections between its use in feminist thought and in queer theories, and I'd love to know your thoughts about it. I personally was thinking of when [specific statement] was said, and how I would apply this theory. I hope it's as interesting to you as it is to me."

Coiner's current webpage: https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/

Thesis: https://vc.bridgew.edu/honors_proj/330/ (click download in upper right hand corner for the PDF, depending on the individual it may be worth downloading and sending that rather than a link)

Law Review: https://uclawreview.org/2022/06/09/amatonormativity-in-the-law-an-introduction/

[dufferpuffer]

(Note: idk the characters OP mentions or what they are from, I wanted to talk about peoples reaction to disability rep in general)

I think it's fantastic when non-disabled people talk positively about disabled characters, even if they do it a little clumsily (though not in the face of disabled people critiquing it... yeesh...) Just like with other marginalized groups. eg: we can be happy about having more PoC characters... even if we might not fully understand the nuances in their representation. We can be taught about that nuance by those who do understand - and that's how we learn to understand better. That's awesome.

The thing that's annoying, as OP describes, is that - especially for disability representation - existence seems to be the bar for entry. They see a prosthetic and go 'Wowee! Good enough :)'

Maybe existing can pass as 'good representation' for some things - like race, gender or sexual orientation (arguably - important: it depends on the particular media) But that doesn't really work for disability.

Depending on the setting and themes of a narrative, being a different race, gender or orientation doesn't alter how you can live. Having a disability, by definition, DOES alter how you live.

Example: Innocent little kids show, where a bunch of kids go on adventures together, doesn't need to display topics like racism, homophobia, transphobia etc. to be good representation. The kids can just exist the same as everyone else - just existing is enough.

But a disabled kid HAS to be disabled. Their life has to be shown as altered in unique ways - otherwise it risks being harmful. It doesn't need to be anything big, or sad, or the topic of an episode... Infact it's often better when it isn't.

+ Have a character wake their friend up early, knocking on her window - she says 'Wait! Let me get my leg on!!' + They go swimming - and she takes her leg off to swim. + It gets really muddy, so she gets a piggy-back from a friend so she doesn't get her leg stuck. + Or it DOES get stuck and someone pulls it out for her. + She's training for a race and she switches her leg to a running one. + Maybe she isn't in an episode - the other characters can't rely on her skills to solve an issue, because its Physical Therapy day.

You don't need to draw attention to it, she doesn't need to suffer - but she has to be different. She has to live with different worries. She can't just be the exact same as everyone else, because she isn't like everyone else. That's what being disabled means.

If she just does everything everyone else does, with no thought put into the fact she has a fake leg other than 'one of her legs is blue'... you are teaching that disabled people don't live differently. But we DO. We HAVE to. A little kid seeing a character never put any thought into the things they need to worry about doesn't feel GOOD. It feels WORSE.

People of minority racial groups, and people of differing identities, dream of a world where that doesn't matter, they can be the same. Disabled people don't get that dream. Having a leg re-grown...? God, even thinking about the physical therapy, training to walk again... It would just be nice if there was more understanding, more facilities and support, that some of us need to live different lives.

...I am not an amputee. My digestive organs are all messed up - and I have PTSD. That is a very different experience to being an amputee. But I can talk about what I think is good or bad representation, even if it might be clumsy sometimes, because: I understand that good disability representation is in how the character is affected by their disability, not by just existing.

And that's what I would want to share with any non-disabled person who feels excitement seeing a disabled character: think about how it affects their life. Think about the choices they make because of it.

Toph from Avatar isn't 'cool disability representation' because her blindness is accurate or realistic. It isn't. It's fantasy blindness. It's cool because she has to live differently. She uses her bending to super-power 'see' - but not in water, or sand, or for flying things... There is no 'fix' that gives her sight back. Only tools to help. ''How does blindness affect how she can live'' has been considered.

So... you have a character 'you didn't even notice had a prosthetic'. Is there no way in which she is shown to act or think differently because of it...? That's not particularly good representation. There can still be cool parts of it that are worthwhile representation, like an interesting history, or design, or function... ...but she isn't disabled unless she is disabled. Yknow...?

I really wish non-disabled folks would stop commenting on weather or not something is good disability rep, especially when people with those disabilities are critiquing the specific things these folks are bringing up as examples of why the character is so good.

I swear, if I hear one more person say "I didn't even realise Neve was an amputee, that's such good representation!" I'm going to scream lol.

Also just to clarify, I don't think Neve is bad, my feelings on her from a disability representation stance are more complicated, but her disability having such a small impact on her that a shocking number of players said they didnt even notice it until she tells you how she lost her leg is NOT what makes her good. "You cant even tell she's disabled" is not a flex. We've talked about this. Twice.

Same goes for the inquisitor and Hezencost but they're pretty minor characters so I'm seeing less of it there.

[hellogoodbyeitsme]

Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent

Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people