#or well i kinda love everything about the arkham universe

[jasonsbruce]

BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT

[night-fallz]

Jason Todd x Avengers Crossover

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Ao3 // Wattpad

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Unexpected (part 3)

If he knew that he would be blamed for murdering someone the moment he got back to Gotham, then Jason would’ve waited another week or two before returning.

No matter what a lot of people said, Jason wasn’t stupid. He knows not to expect things that were unlikely to happen.

Jason couldn’t risk raising his hopes when it came to the bats.

He knew that he wasn’t gonna receive a warm welcome filled with hugs and cupcakes. Honestly, the most he expected was a nod of acknowledgment. And if he was lucky, then maybe- maybe he would’ve gotten a smile with the quiet whisper of a welcome back.

It made his heart twist in all the wrong ways to know that his family didn’t trust him as much as he thought. Jason genuinely believed that he and the bats were on good enough terms to earn him the benefit of the doubt.

He forced himself not to flinch as he met Batman’s harsh, distrustful gaze.

“I wasn’t even here when he was killed,” Jason tried to say as calmly as he could, knowing that if he loses his temper, everyone would use it against him. “I was following a case up in New York.”

He couldn’t go back to Arkham! Not again. Not with the Joker only a few cells away from him, taunting him with his laughter— his voice filled with cruel exhilaration as he continuously promised Jason that they would play together once again. How he would soon be reunited with his favorite playmate.

His favorite Robin.

He heard someone suck in a breath behind him.

Jason didn’t expect anyone to defend him. Not against Batman. But still-

He didn’t expect them to just stand and watch as Batman tore him into shreds once again. Batman threw accusation over accusation, yet he never once provided a single piece of evidence that proved it was Jason that did it.

He took a step towards Jason and he had to force himself not to flinch. Batman wouldn’t… not with his kids in the same room.

He ignored the rising panic in his stomach. Jason was safe.

He was safe.

Bruce wouldn’t beat him in the cave. Not in front of everyone. Not in front of Damian.

Jason would be able to walk out of the cave with his ability to walk. He was gonna be okay.

“Look, B. You can even ask them,” he pointed at the spot where Dick and the others were standing. “I told them that I was leaving Gotham for a while.”

Batman turned to where Jason was pointing. “Well?” he asked expectantly.

The cave was engulfed in eerie silence before Tim opened his mouth, faltering a little when he met Jason’s pleading gaze. “He’s not lying Bruce. He told me that he had a mission out of Gotham while we were hanging out a few weeks ago.”

Jason could feel his chest loosen up for a few seconds, thankful that Tim confirmed his statement.

He remembered the day that Tim was talking about. The bats were getting even clingier than usual. They weren’t even trying to hide the fact that they were following Jason anymore.

Tim asked Jason if he wanted to watch a movie and Jason agreed.

The bats were gonna be watching him anyways— they didn’t even try to hide the fact that they bugged him and all the known safehouses he has.

At this point, Jason didn’t know whether he should feel offended with how much they underestimated or relieved.

They already viewed him as dangerous and unpredictable. If they ever find out that Jason’s been holding back, even if it was just a little-

He won’t let them throw him back to Arkham. Jason would rather go back to the League of Assassins.

If Jason wasn’t watching Batman so closely, he would’ve missed the sliver of a nod the man-made.

Jason tried not to think of the fact that Bruce immediately accepted Tim’s answer without hesitation.

For the millionth time in this conversation, he wished that he was wearing his helmet. Instead, he forced his expression to remain calm. To remain bored as turned back to Bruce an eyebrow raised.

“Is that good enough proof for you, old man?” he couldn’t help but spit out, bitterness clear in his voice.

Batman remained unaffected, not even bothering to verbally answer Jason’s question. Instead, he just nodded.

Jason’s heart clenched, of course, he wouldn’t get an apology. Batman was too prideful for that.

“Truth.” Cassandra’s voice rang across the cave, breaking the heavy silence. “No… not lie.”

Batman nodded once again and Cassandra’s eyes met his. It took everything in him to stop a retort from coming out of his mouth.

Couldn’t she have said that a few minutes ago? Before Batman ripped him apart like he was nothing but flimsy paper.

Still, he guessed he should be thankful that she defended him. Even though it was too late.

After a few seconds of no one saying anything, Dick broke the awkwardness with an annoying smile on his face. “Now that that’s settled, why don’t we get that movie started?”

It was only because of all his training that Jason didn’t break down right there.

Of course this was just another thing that they’d sweep under the rug. Something that they would never want to speak off again.

Discussions of what movie they were supposed to watch erupted the room. It didn’t take long for an argument to break out between Damian and Tim.

Jason watched the scene for a few seconds before looking away.

They looked like a real family.

He turned away, these things happened frequently enough for Jason to know that he wasn’t welcomed.

He blocked out all the noise as he walked towards his helmet, eager to put it back on.

It was only a matter of luck that the universe hated him so much that he knocked something down, the thumping noise alerting everyone that he was about to leave.

Jason couldn’t help but feel relieved that he put on his helmet as soon as he got his hands on it.

At least he didn’t have to go to all the trouble to force his expression to remain impassive anymore.

Batman could use it against him.

Dick’s eyebrows furrowed, “Where are you going, Jay? I thought you were joining us tonight.”

“Yeah, well maybe I’m not in the mood to watch a stupid movie tonight.” Jason spits out.

Was Dick being serious right now? There were so many things wrong with that question.

One: Why would Jason want to spend more time with the people who thought he murdered someone and didn’t even bother to defend him.

And two-

No one invited Jason.

Before anyone could say anything else, Jason hopped on his motorcycle. He needed to get out of the cave.

He could feel their eyes on his back but no one bothered to stop him.

The last thing he heard was Cassandra’s voice assuring the bats. “Be back,” she said with enough confidence that one would think that she could command Jason to turn around with only her words. “He will be back.”

Jason held in the harsh remark that threatened to leave his lips.

Plus, it wasn’t like Cassandra was lying. He knew it— and hell, the rest of Bats probably knew it too.

Jason would come back. He always did.

It wasn’t like he had anywhere else to go.

But for now, he needed to get away. He thought that one week would be enough to calm the pit.

It wasn’t.

In fact, he feels like the interaction with the bats today just made it worst.

He’ll stay away from them for two weeks. That should be enough time for the pit to stop screaming at him.

But who would he stay with?

Jason had enough experience to know that the best way to calm the pit was to surround yourself with people you trust.

Kori and Roy were still in space.

And Talia was busy with the civil war against Ra’s.

Jason had no one else.

Except-  

His phone grew heavier in his pocket and he remembered that an Avenger owed him a favor.

Clint said that Jason could text him whenever.

And the more he thought about it, the more Jason decided that he did trust the archer in some way.  

Jason soon found himself staring at the side mirror of the vehicle and poisonous green eyes stared back.

He quickly averted his eyes.

Clint was his last choice. And Jason couldn’t risk being in the peak of a pit episode without anyone to keep him in his place.  

He could do this.

It wasn’t like he had another choice.

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notes:

Balancing out school and volleyball was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Only one month has passed and I am swamped with work.

I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. It’s not my best work but I wanted to put something out for you guys!!

I hope that you liked it.

I’m gonna spend this weekend to try and get my life together so hopefully, that means that next week will be easier for me.

Especially since I still need to finish my permit course. (If you couldn’t tell, I’m kinda hating sophomore year of high school right now)

Like always, please leave a comment. i love reading them and they just motivate me so much! And they would help an extra ton these days.

And once again, if you have any fanfic requests, questions, or just suggestions for a specific fanfic i’m writing, just leave it in a comment down below or you can just message me here on tumblr.  

[k8felge]

[ @kittyboyrobin was going 2 write a bunch in the tags but. it's an essay atp so i'm writing here LOL. this is a bit of a ramble / long post on my experience with batman so don't feel like u have to read everything - there will be TL;DRs throughout - i just have a lot to say on this in general. and i also have adhd lol. once again though, i don't expect anyone to read this all the way through but if you do - thank you!! ]

okay. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!!! oh my god this is literally the biggest joke the universe has pulled on me. bc i used to be you. looking at ppl draw, write, and talk about superheroes going "um... smile and wave y'all!!" ( i know u didn't mean it maliciously btw i'm just making fun of my situation LOL )

when the marvel infinity war shit was going down i felt like an outsider looking in because it was so much information to keep up on and everyone just Knew what was going on. and it was so bizarre seeing people just act like knowing all the movies ( or those ppl who actually read the comics ) before watching infinity war or whatever was normal. i had seen like 4 movies at the time and it was all so very stressful, considering the fact that i was in high school at the time so i literally did not have enough time to like. scratch the surface with it.

because of the stress that came about from that time, i was put off from superhero movies and media for a WHILE. so i never thought i would EVER get into dc or marvel like. on a fandom level? but i think that's also because it was one of those interests i consumed as a kid - and when you revisit something you were into as a kid, it's kinda... jarring to see people "fandom-ifying" it if that makes sense. it's like you have that moment of realization where you go "Oh huh. I guess I didn't realize people could do that? and that people still like this. Huh." and you stand there for a second, looking at these people. and then you eventually move on with your life, right? WELL... it's a long story.

first, i think i need to establish some context because it can help justify WHY i became so suddenly obsessed with these superheroes. so, yes. this is going to be a very long post. what the hell, it already is.

i grew up with batman. i can't say i grew up with marvel, because for me it was tobey maguire's spiderman - not marvel. a lot of kids grew up with '02 spiderman so this isn't news. but batman - i grew up watching batman the animated series since my dad was a huge batman nerd, he wrote a college paper on batman and he even has a first edition hq print of batman: the killing joke!! but i digress. what I'm trying to say is that it really helped that my dad also had a lot of love for the series. the score in batman: tas is incredible and the animation is still so good, you can really tell that they put a lot of love into the series. the show aired '92 so i was literally growing up watching this - so it's a core memory.

flash forward to 2005 - batman begins comes out, and my dad buys it on DVD as soon as he can. the movie was so cool - here batman was in real life - and my mind was blown!! i never watched any of the old batman movies, so this was my first introduction to live-action batman. the nolanverse movies were a refreshing take on a series i had only seen animated as a kid, but i know i preferred the animated series' noir story-telling in comparison to the action-packed scenes in the nolan movies. ( scarecrow's actor was foine as hell tho * lip bite emoji * )

now LASTLY flash forward to 2009 - rocksteady makes batman: arkham asylum, and holy shit. my brothers were CRAZYY for this game let me tell you. if you don't already know, this game helped pave the way for other superhero games that would release afterward, a common example being the spiderman games. i remember watching my brother play these games because the stealth mechanics scared me ( and also the game was just? STRAIGHT UP TERRIFYING? and it still holds up to this day - the tone and atmosphere of the first game are unrivaled with the sequels that would follow. ) I want to say we didn't get it on release, though I can't remember.

Then the sequel, arkham city, releases (2011) and my brother is ALL over it. i had watched my brother play the first game, so you know i was going to watch him play this one. and this one had so much more!! when i was playing the arkham games later for myself, i remembered sooo much more about arkham city because my brother would play this game so much. i think he replayed it more than i can count - and despite me not playing this one either, the story was still so engaging my dad - being the batman buff he is - even got the special edition statue/figure + controller for the game, which was funny because i don't think we understood why our dad was THAT into it.

THEN AGAIN, another sequel comes out ( there was another one but we didn't get it ) called arkham knight - we get the special arkham edition ps4 that comes with the game. this one's a different story though, my same brother played and beat this game - but i never saw past the opening part of the game ( the opening is really fucking good though, i remembered it vividly as i played arkham knight ). I don't know why i didn't bother to watch, but i guess i just had other things. i felt my focus on batman slipping away finally - but i still loved the series to death. i was just simply getting into other fandoms for the first time, i think i want to say mlp was my hyperfix around that time.

TL;DR (#1) - batman was a big part of my childhood - largely batman: the animated series, the christopher nolan movies, and watching my brother play the batman: arkham games. i lost interest in batman as a whole around the fourth game's release (2015) due to other hyperfixations.

okay now flash forward to the present: i wanna say early october? my boyfriend is streaming injustice in discord, and i don't know anything about this game. it has a slew of dc characters i'm not familiar with, save for the batman ones. but now he's playing this stage with a stage transition and in comes scarecrow - but more specifically his arkham version. and i'm staring at the screen in awe because it's been like what? 10 years since i had laid eyes with arkham asylum's scarecrow - and here he is beating the shit out of the character in a fucking stage transition. it's one of the coolest things i've ever seen, because the 10-year-old in me that watched my brother play arkham asylum is jumping up and down. i didn't remember how obsessed i was with batman until i had that moment of just. unfiltered nostalgia. i was hooked again. there was another stage transition with the arkham city designs of the batman rogues - and i remember my bf, my friend jar, and i were just yelling off all of the characters in surprise as the animation showed them all. it was too fucking good.

[ here's the stage transition in question if you're interested. needle tw for scarecrow's hand needle things ]

and because this is what. early october? i had yet to figure out a halloween costume - and my ass was obsessed with scarecrow's arkham design again, so i decided to make that my halloween costume!! i don't have any good pictures because there's still some work to be done with it but i made everything myself on that baby. if you haven't noticed already, i really like scarecrow. ( which is funny because i don't even think he was my FAVORITE favorite as a kid? but the whole fear toxin thing is so good. )

as i'm working on my costume throughout october, i buy the arkham games on sale and start arkham asylum. oh my god. it's wayyy creepier than i remembered and the graphics were surprisingly still good? the combat was a little janky but i quickly got used to it, but my god. the story is seriously so good in these games, i'm largely biased because i know there's flaws with each game - but they're all so good in my book. and the stealth was not even that bad - in fact i was enjoying the stealth segments the most - this game seriously makes it so fun. if you ever want to try to get into batman, i would recommend picking up the games on steam when they're on sale. there's a good mix of combat and stealth so you're never really tired of it. also the combat is fucking rhythm-based - even if it feels janky in asylum, it feels so rewarding when you eventually master it.

TL;DR (#2) - beginning of oct. my bf streams injustice 1 in vc and i get a nostalgia trip for batman, so i play the arkham games for the first time. i make my halloween costume the arkham asylum scarecrow. and i have a lot of fucking fun playing the first two arkham games.

and the last part of this ESSAY?? this was supposed to be like 3 paragraphs at most. what the hell happened. okay whatever. the next part goes that batman: arkham knight ( technically the fourth game in the arkham series but this was the third arkham game i played ) goes into the backstory of another character whom i played briefly in injustice 2 ( i played this game a little bit after my bf showed injustice 1 ) and ZAMN. people say the story in this game is lacking but gawtdam my bar is in hell bc this game fucked me upppp brah. also, scarecrow was back * heart eyes emoji * but that's beside the point.

so now i'm interested in this character... i feel myself going ill... and i find out there's an animated movie ( based off of a comic for him ) and i just HAVE to watch it. i finally get my grubby little hands on HBO because everything dc is fucking locked on there and BEHOLD!! i watch the movie. but then i watch some more dc movies. and shows ( the harley quinn show is actually really funny ) and now my same dc friend and my bf are telling me i gotta watch the flashpoint movie. so i do. and then we watch more dc movies - not just batman. and well. that's the end of my story because that's where i am now. i'm doing fanart of fucking hal jordan green lantern who i never thought i would ever draw in my life. and now i know who each of the robins are and who fucking. reverse flash is. this is my life now i don't know what went wrong. something happened. something shifted. but NOW YOU KNOW * grabs you and shakes you around * NOW YOU KNOW WHY I HAVE LOST MY LIFE TO THESE SUPERHEROES. I CAN'T GO BACK I CAN'TTTT

[ also side note: i watched the new venom movie prior to this ( it was really good! i liked it a lot. ) and then i watched the first venom. and then the trailer for spiderman no way home drops - teasing the old spiderman villains i saw as a kid. another nostalgia trip for child-me to grab in her small, trembling hands. and - mind you - this happened before and during the same time as my aforementioned batman/dc craze. i think i may have adhd /hj ]

TL;DR (#3) - arkham knight introduces me to a new batman character, and goes over his backstory enough but i want to know more. i find out there's a movie for him on hbo, which has almost everything dc. i watch it and i watch more dc movies + shows, but not just batman. now i'm drawing fanart of other dc characters and i look extremely ill. also on a side note i also am excited for the new spiderman movie. THE END

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ���dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it. 

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere. 

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM. 

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?” even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system. 

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we. 

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick. 

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT. 

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara. 

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what? 

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s. 

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else. 

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes. 

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

[curious-menace]

Arkham Scarecrow SFW Alphabet

im really enjoying writing arkham scarecrow. maybe ill do something similar to my random riddler headcanons posts with some scarecrows

long post under the cut

 A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Uhhh, the short answer is no. Jonathan is almost wholly incapable of what most people would term “affection”. His idea of loving is not using you for his experiments, only giving you small doses to build up your immunity( not that that will stop him from enjoying watching you panic). Jonathan leans heavily on gifts and words of affirmation as his language of love ( assuming he can even feel that emotion). He calls you  “my dear”  and “my darling” or once “my pumpkin” if he had too much to drink. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Jonathan would make a good friend if he could ever be wrangled into admitting it. He’s a complete bastard, but he's a loyal bastard. He always goes above and beyond for his friends but it's always in a “aw shit. My favorite idiot needs help AGAIN?!” begrudging , kind of way. You probably met in university/college and if you've stuck with him this long he’d be hard to get rid of.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He never asks for cuddles and is pretty touch adversed as a rule. Sometimes though, He simply plonks himself in your space and expects you to know what he wants. Usually it's gentle backrubs/strokes like you would with a child. Sometimes he just wants your warmth to sooth his aching body. He’s heavier than he was in Arkham asylum but still very underweight so you shouldn't have too much trouble moving him into a comfortable position.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Absolutely not. I'm not convinced this man owns more than his books and the burlap sack on his back ,never mind a home. He has plans to take the cloudburst on tour, to go cross country and then across the world spreading fear. That would be a little difficult if he had gotham mortgage sending him nasty emails every other day about missed payments. While he can cook and clean, I doubt you'd want to eat anything he made. Ignoring his filthy hands, he's probably laced it with fear toxin or a lethal amount of hot sauce.

His homemade cleaning chemicals are pretty stellar mind you. They can get blood, piss or tears out of anything. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Scarecrow really is a ride or die kinda guy. If you've wormed your way into his life then he’s going to do literally everything and anything to keep you in it. He’s not above making you dependent on him for safety just to keep you around longer. He’s not a total monster to the people he cares about mind you. If you really didn't want to be with him, he’d let you go….eventually.

I'm not sure he fully understands the concept of a “breakup”on his end. He gets that you don't see eachother anymore but I don't think he quite grasps that it's not because one party is dead. There's a 99% chance he’ll use you for his fear toxin experiments as a way of kicking you to the kerb. If you wake up in a ditch with a text that says “we’re through” you should consider yourself lucky. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I canon arkham scarecrow as having been engaged at one point in his life, possibly around the time of origins. I can imagine his partner gave him a “me or the fear toxin” ultimatum which has led to the man you know now. Despite how he looks, how he speaks and acts, he’s still open to the idea of a partner. He’s a loyal man who can't stand backstabbers, he’d appreciate someone like a spouse/husband/wife to have his back. If he decided he wanted to get married he’d propose almost immediately. It might be more of a business or thesis type proposal with lots of talking rather than flowers and wine and you're likely to be married as soon as you said yes. 

He has a tiny pumpkin ring saved for the occasion. Something like this (image credit https://www.banggood.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s gentle, in a creepy way unsurprisingly. He was a little stronger than the average man before the incident with croc, all that cardio and fighting with batman made him a skinny legend amongst the rogues for how well he could fight. Now? He couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. Mostly he's calm and soft, especially when you wouldn't expect him to be.  He can still be an emotionally manipulative person but chances are good you're smart enough to see right through him. Calling him on his bs is actually a good way to endear yourself to him. He likes a challenge and he loves it when people think they can outsmart him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hmm. yes and no. Scarecrow is severely touch adversed, but...It's not like with Riddler; Edward is on the autism spectrum and genuinely gets overstimulated by a lot of physical contact, he doesn't usually enjoy it unless under specific circumstances. Scarecrow WANTS to be hugged and held on occasion, but the mere thought of someone in his personal bubble sends his hackles up. 

When he first woke up after the asylum, he clung to you like a lampent. Scarecrow gives and recieves hugs like someone who needs them to breath.Your warmth soothes the aching pain when even drugs couldn't . By the time of Arkham Knight he’s grown cold and distant. His hugs are few and far between and unusually half hearted even when he initiates them. Maybe he’s just preoccupied with batman.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I doubt he’d ever say the words ``i love you” but he’s absolutely going to quote love poetry at you, recite lines from his favorite literature  “shall i compare you to a summer's day” and all that. That’s far better than a simple “i love you” right?

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Jonathan is sort of one note when it comes to expressing frustration. Coffee machine not working? Melt it down into fear toxin vials. Line at the grocery store? Gas everyone out of his way. He doesnt get mad, he gets even. He’s not a super jealous person, he’s probably the most secure in himself out of all the rogues in Gotham bar Selina and ivy. But when something does hit his jealousy bone just right? LORD HE IS TERRIBLE. 

Unless you were the instigator, you are 100% safe but the poor soul who made the mistake of flirting with you will never see the light of day again.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He can't really kiss to be honest. He lacks a lot of lip tissue and tongue dexterity for deep smooching. He’s quite happy to give you little pecks on the cheek but anywhere else will get sloppy and he's not a fan of that. Jonathan has actually started to bump you with his head like a cat in lieu of kisses. Rare as it is, when he wants kisses he has a tendency to nuzzle into the crook of your neck or rest his head on your shoulder. He likes to be kissed on the cheek , forehead and top of his head. Most other places are covered in scars and lack the sensitivity to enjoy it.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He likes to scare kids. It's not as malicious as it is with adults, he just likes to yell boo at them, smiling as they scream and giggle and run away. It's probably the most innocent he’ll act around other people. He still doesnt like them per say but he’ll tolerate them in small doses. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Scarecrow , like most rogues, is not a morning person. He doesn't sleep well and he is hella grumpy when he first wakes up. Expect to watch him shuffle around his hideout like a zombie, still wearing a quilt and his dressing gown as he complains about everything from the weather to the loud creaking of the floorboards. You should present him with food and coffee and then retreat to a safe distance until he’s fully awake, otherwise he’s liable to turn on his grumpy old man routine on you. If he's feeling particularly sore or needy, he’ll ask you to help change his bandages and dressings .

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

It really depends on what he feels like in the moment. Sometimes he’ll leave you at home while he goes out to cause general mischief, sometimes he’ll bring you along as a look out. Sometimes it's a low-key night at the hideout reading and sometimes it's a caffeine fueled frenzie of experimentation and lab work with you as his trusty lab assistant.  He doesn't sleep well at night, the aches keep him up. If he were ever to actually go to bed he might find that you make a great pillow.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As much as he resents people having the upperhand with information, it's hard not for people to see his past. His scars are so easily visible, inside and out. He doesn't talk about his past unless prompted. But if you do he’ll quite happily answer all your questions; he’s not afraid of discussing it. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Jonathan is a very patient man, not just when it comes to revenge.It takes quite a lot to make him fly off the handle and he cools off again quickly. That's not to say he doesn't hold a grudge like he’s being paid for it, only that it's more of a simmering anger rather than a boiling one.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers most things about you, he has an excellent memory. But that being said he never lets on that he knows these things. He likes to hear you talk about the things that interest you, even if you've told him about it before. Watching you wax lyrical about your chosen subject makes him feel close to you. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

I don't know if it's a favorite or even a positive memory but when he first woke up from surgery after croc you were lying beside him. He was understandably confused, maybe even afraid, but seeing you there brought him great comfort. He didn't know what was happening because of all the meds, but as long as you were with him he was confident things would work out for him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He means well, you should always keep that in mind  before you snap at him. He brought you to the arkham knights HQ to protect you from his plans, he’s given you micro doses of fear toxin to build your resistance and by the time of arkham knight you can hardly move for the amount of guards he has following you around. He’s overbearing bordering on controlling but I think it's because he simply can't admit the thought of losing you scares him, even just a little. You aren't a rogue, you don't know Batman like they do. He just needs to keep you safe from batman, from the police and from the ugly world outside.

Given how weak he’s been viewed practically all his life, I believe he’d resent the accusation he needed protecting. deep in his mind he knows no one man is an island. He appreciates little helps even if he won't say it. He doesn't need protection per say but If nothing else, after being injected with his new toxin, he's going to need someone who’s corpus mentis in his corner for court and medical proceedings.  

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

His idea of a perfect date is you two working on your respective projects in comfortable silence, maybe a trip to the museum if he feels like the exercise. Obviously that suits some people down to the ground, myself included, but he gets that it's not for everyone. He’s probably ok with you planning the activities provided you warn him beforehand. 

Given everything he’s been planning for batman, things like important dates and even everyday tasks have a tendency to get lost in the fray. He's not doing it on purpose, He’s glad to celebrate these things with you if you remind him, He's just got his priorities in a funny order.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He shuffles his feet when he walks and is one of those people who always has conversations in doorways. You can never be sure he isn't aware of these habits and is doing them on purpose. He also used to smoke quite heavily but has since given it up due to his throat and lung issues.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

It's sort of a mixed bag with him. On the one hand he knows he’s ugly, that's the point. You're MEANT to be scared looking at him, he’s leaning into it. But on the other hand his “look” is a carefully maintained visage; if it slips it might lose the intended effect. He might not be as scary to look at or worse, people might look at him in pity. It's not ordinary vanity or narcissism but yes, he is concerned with maintaining the way he looks 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

The concept of feeling whole is somewhat lost on him; He’s clearly missing a few screws even in his most lucid moments. That said even in the depths of madness brought on by his toxin, he still notices your absence. Still incredibly distressed In his cell in blackgate, he can often be heard crying out to you for comfort  but is lacking the wherewithal to understand why you're not there. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Given that he has pretty extensive facial injuries, eating is pretty difficult for him. He used to really enjoy bagels and cubanos from gothams many deli’s. His favorite was a kosher deli in The Cauldron, before Joker ruined it. They’ve since rebuilt and while he can't eat many solids anymore , he still enjoys their matzo soup and smoothies. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Like most of the rogues, he absolutely can't stand bullies.He also can't stand physically aggressive people; if you're going to even TRY and intimidate him maybe you could use your words like someone with more than 2 brain cells to rub together, rare as that is in gotham. Back when he was a psychiatrist he hated people who were chronically late. Not his patients, most of the time it wasn't their fault  due to executive dysfunction or traffic, but people who kept HIM back and made HIM late were the bane of his existence. 

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

Crane is a back sleeper who snores because of his damaged septum.He knows he makes a noise akin to a flip flop in a lawn mower but there is literally nothing he can do about it besides sleep on his stomach. He squirms around a lot in his sleep so even if he starts on his stomach, he’ll be on his back snoring like a dead horse in no time. The only thing that could keep him frontwise is if he were to sleep on you and have you hold him in place. 

[we-want-mini-mini]

I have this short one shot in mind. It’s essentially abt the entire Batfam gathering up together (and its also the anniversary of Jason’s death but that’s kinda jus a background detail).

Anyways, everyone gathers round the dinning table, eating, laughing, etc etc. And when I mean everyone, I fucking mean all the Batkids, which include but are not limited to:

Dick

Jason

Tim

Damian

Stephanie

Cassandra

Duke

Barbara

Anyways, Alfred and Bruce are obvi there as well, eating, and talking and stuff.

Suddenly, some fucking kid bursts through the fucking window, does a mid-air flip, and lands smack dab in the middle of the dining table, on their hands, which is conveniently holding onto this package.

All hell breaks loose, as various Bats (and birds!) start throwing various items. Then this kid sends out this weird ass pulse, that makes everything freeze in place. Only this kid and move.

The kid slowly floats up, cross legged in the air, moving a batarang, and throwing knife away from their face. They announce, “Hello, the Wayne Family and Friends! Who are also... Gasp, the infamous Bat and Bird themed Vigilantes of Gotham?! Now, to quote John Mulany, “we don’t have time to unpack all of that” which is fine! ...Why are none of you responded—oh sorry! I froze you all in place, my bad.”

The kid snaps their fingers, allowing the Batfam & Co. talk but their still frozen in place. Immediately Damian starts antagonizing the Kid. The Kid responses by literally zipping close Damians mouth like a Looney Toon cartoon.

The Kid sighs but continues on, “C’mon now! Don’t shoot the messenger as they say, whoever they is that is. Anyways, I have a package for one: Jason Peter Todd!”

“Who the hell sent you?” Jason askes.

The Kid shrugs, “No clue, they sent it in anonymously. Though, from what I know, there is a card inside the package so that might offer you some clues.”

“And what exactly are you?” Bruce inquires.

The Kid’s lips stretch out as wide as they can go, their pearly white, jagged teeth on display. Their eyes glow slightly red, as their neck cranes forward at a tilt. Their neck seems to extend a lot further, and their face tilts at an inhuman angle. They open their mouth, with rows of teeth on display for everyone too see.

“Why don’t you find out?” Their once chriper, goofy, kid like voice contorts into a deep, distorted version. Everyone freezes, at the Kid simply stares back at Bruce before their fave goes back to “normal” as they laugh their collective ass off.

“Ahaha... You know, that trick never does fail to make me laugh and all of you freeze in fear—then again, your already frozen but still!”

The Kid continues, their face still stretched out in a smile. A smile a little to sharp and inhuman for them. “But, you should know that’s quite a rude thing to ask! Didn’t your parents teach you any manners?! Then again, they are dead.”

A beat of silence.

“What? Too morbid? Seriously, what a tough crowd! But hey, everyone has their sore spots, so I can’t blame ya. Anyways, I’m guessing all of you have questions. So, fire away!”

They snapped their fingers, making the literally zipper on Damians face disappear.

“Who are you?” Damian seethes.

“I’m Ty Kidd! But call me Kid. Oh and, my pronouns are she/they, thank you very much. I am also a delivery person for—” Kid pulls out a business card, which start to multiple and appear infront of everyone. “—the Multiversal Express Delivery Service, or MEDS for short!”

“And what exactly is MEDS?” Dick asks.

“It’s literally in the name.” Kid deadpans, before another inhuman like smile spreads across their face. “I travel from parallel world to parallel world! Fun fact: there’s a world where you guys are just fictional characters who’ve existed since the 1930s! Isn’t that cool?! One of the many reasons I love my job.”

“Yeah, yeah, fun stuff, but who sent you?”

Kid shrugs, “I dunno. Sender was anonymous. But no worries! At MEDS we ensure that none of our packages include any sort of life threatening object, material, and etc! So, no need to worry about releasing a plague that would decimate this world in a blink of an eye or a nuclear bomb that would wipe this continent out of the map! But, if you do want to send world ending plagues or bombs, you must submit a form and blah blah blah HR bullshit.”

“And... how do know right trust you?” Tim spoke up.

Kid’s face once again spilts in half into a smile, their jagged teeth slightly teasing her lips. Her eyes turned into black silts. “You don’t.” Their voice reasonated throughout everyone’s ears, deep and contorted to the octave.

She pulled back, face once again going “normal”. “But! You can trust MEDS! Trust me when I say, nothing like a bomb, plague or that sort of item is inside this package. Anyways, I’m on a schedule, so—“

They snapped their fingers, a small device and pen appearing infront of Jason. “—please sign, and I’ll be on my merry way. Don’t worry about the window, I’ll fix it!”

Jason was momentarily stunned wondering what the fuck is happening? Why is their probably a fucking eldritch-demon-person in front of me? What is my life?

Before Jason could even tell what was happening, he picked up the floating pen and signed his name on the little device thingy. When his name was signed, the pen and device poofed! away in a plume is smoke.

The Kid, still smiling that inhuman and unsettling smile, snapped their fingers, fixing the broken window, and putting away all the various knifes and objects that were still floating in the air.

“Thank you for your service! If you ever want to send anything to a parallel universe, just give us a call and we will send it! No matter how desolate the Earth, no matter how frankly strange item, we shall send it! Anyways, happy Death day Jason Todd. Kid Out!” They said with a salute, before disappearing in a plume of smoke.

All hell breaks loose and after some arguing and lowkey existential breakdowns everyone converges to the Cave.

Bruce being paranoia incarnate, makes the package go through numerous tests. All being negative. They can’t even identify what it is.

After some more arguing, Jason slips by everyone, and tears open the box. Everyone tries to stop him, but it’s already to late, he opened it.

Now, no one can see what’s inside since Jason is blocking them with his gigantic ass figure. Bruce is the first one to realize that Jason freezes up, and goes to him, worried that something happened.

“Jason, whats wro—“ Then Bruce sees what’s in the box and pales. Everyone sees how Bruce freezes, just looking at the box.

Soon, one by one, it revealed: its Jokers decapated head.

Or alternatively, Jason is the last one to see what’s inside (Damian or someone else being the first). Up to you.

Anyways, there’s this card. Jason picks it up, and it reads:

As the Persians say: an eye for an eye. But the world doesn’t go blind. Happy Dead Clown Day, Jason.

—[Insert an intial or some shit]

Cue some time later, and, yes, it’s confirmed, this is Jokers head. You see, Jokers been awfully quiet for two years, as he went missing after an explosion rocked Arkham Asylum. This, is proof that Joker is finally dead.

News breaks that Joker is dead, and it follows Jason reaction to his death.

In my opinion he’d be lowkey angry that it wasn’t him who killed the damn Clown. But, holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. He’s... He’s dead. He’s finally fucking dead.

Cue some more time later, after everything has cooled down. Jason is in Robinson Park, sitting at a bench, when another kid (who kinda looks like Kid but Jason is too busy inner monologuing to care).

The kid speaks up, “You know, before I use to hate the phrase, ‘an eye for an eye’ ‘cause, the world would go blind.”

Jason freezes, and the kid continues. “But, now I get it. An eye for an eye, but the world never goes blind. Simple as that, since, sure, your blind in one eye, but justice was finally served, right Jason?”

The kid turns to him, and smiles. Not a too large, too sharp, too inhuman smile, but a sincere, warm one. “Y-Yeah.” Jason finally manages to choke out.

“It’s a nice day out, you know. It’s real nice. I know, that, at least you get to see more of these nice days.”

“You day that as if you can’t see days like these anymore.” He blurts out.

The kid sighs, with a bitter smile on their face. “Yeah, I can’t see or experience days like these anymore. I haven’t been able too for three years. But hey, an eye for an eye, but the world never goes blind.” As the kid speaks, their voice fades away. In a blink of an eye, the kid disappears, leaving behind daffodil and a note.

The note is an invitation for a funeral.

Jason goes to the Manor, specifically the cave, and conveniently everyone is there. Damian, Stephanie and Cass are sparring. Dick is using the aerial equipment. Bruce and Tim are working on some cases with Barbara helping. Alfred is done, handing out snacks.

Jason immediately shoves the card to Tim, who’s confused and then sees how utterly shaken up and pale he looks.

“Tell me what happened to this kid.”

Everyone immediately turns to Tim, as he types in their name, date and etc.

What they find out, is that, this kid, who died three years ago, died in the last ever attack wide scale attack the Joker committed. They were the only casualty in said attack (surprisingly).

And they were only 13. Like Jason. And the date of the attack... is the same day Jason died all those years ago in Ethiopia.

“I saw them.”

“...what?” Dick said, in an incredulous voice.

“I saw them. At Robinson Park. They even said that exact same phrase in that fucking card: an eye for an eye—“

“—and the world never goes blind.” Everyone says the last part in unison.

Then the Bats get news that rest of Jokers body was sent to the GCPD, addressed to—

-END-

Basically, that’s how the one shot goes. If anyone wants to use the idea:

Jason gets a package while he’s at the Manor. They test said package and nothing comes up. Some start arguing and someone opens the package (which is more dramatic, Jason seeing it first or last?). They see: Jokers decapiated head. Chaos ensues and a metric shit load of testing later, it’s confirmed: thats Jokers head. And Jokers been missing for [insert amount of time]. The Batfam then deal with the fallout of Joker being (finally) dead.

If anyone writes this, please tag me! I want too see ANGST, and FLUFF, and GOOD DAD BRUCE, and, DRAMA, and ALL THE BAT KIDS.

(I can’t delete the fucking pic below me and I refuse to rewrite this entire post. Lowkey it’s kinda ironic too lmao).

[praphit]

JL - The Snyder Cut: A Quarter Pounder With Cheese

Was it 2017 when The Regular Ass Justice League came to the big screen? Idk. I can't remember anything before COVID.

I thought that movie was... decent. It was somewhere between "ok" and "good"; that's not a knock against it. It's like a quarter pounder with cheese. You know??

- it's about 1pm at work, and you ain't had lunch yet. You'll annihilate

a QPWC, but you also can't say it's a gourmet burger from some fancy spot; they put love and time into their burgers. If you compare a QPWC to THAT... then you might call it somewhere between "shit" and "almost ok"; movie snobs said things like that.

I wasn't like the snobs. I was like - "QPWC". But, in the defense of the snobs, it's hard not to compare the reg ass JC to a gourmet burger like The Avengers:

A team is assembled, there's a destroyer of worlds lurking about, there are magical alien objects to collect, there's a part in this new version that has a similar battle axe scene to Thor/Thanos, there's a character who at times can be a bit sexualized - and I'm not talking about Wonder Woman. I'm talking about

Aquadude.

"Wait, are we about to eat? I better pop this shirt off. I don't wanna get food on it."

"Wait, are we about to watch Tv? I better pop this shirt off, so the couch doesn't wrinkle it."

Zack Snyder came along and said "Quarter Pounder With Cheese?! Well, yeah, but that wasn't on me at all. Y'all need to see MY vision! MY burger would have been glorious!"

So, here we are... kinda like a second date, when the first one was 'ok', but not quite "the one". DC was like "That date, we were rushing things and may have gotten a lil handsy. We were copying moves we saw in other films and it was awkward. And something was up with our face that night.

BUT, this time, will be different!"

Let's talk about what's different:

#1 - The Flash

We get a lil more back story with him, but in the process an awesome scene where he saves some black woman with his lightning speed (so fast that everything is slow). I loved this!

The black woman whom he saves, I can only assume is Iris. I'm not a super comic geek, but I've seen the Tv Series (hence my assumption).

Flash is apparently all about black women. Maybe I should go back and read some of his comics. Perhaps he ONLY saves black women; pretty, young, single black women :)

He had better be careful with his hands as he saves them, with things all slow. I was watching him when he saved Iris.

Sometimes, you might have to feel some one up in the process f saving their life, you know?? I don't know, but Flash does :)

I'm just saying... my man might get hashtagged, if he's not careful.

#2 - Darkseid

He is the thing of nightmares and it's perfect! He is everything that I wanted Apocalypse in that awful X-Men movie to be.

A villain as powerful as Darkseid should look menacing.

Not like this -

But, like THIS.

YES!

He looks like he has been possessed by several spirits, and all of these spirits are high on meth and voodoo.

#3 (now this was unfortunate) Lex and The Joker make an appearance.

(Joker here lookin like he just got finished eating ribs. What the hell is going on with his mouth?)

Ugh.

We told y'all that these two were bad. Real, real BAD! It's like me saying that the cologne you were on our last date smelled like expired sauerkraut juice, please don't wear that on this next date. YET, here it is... stankin up the joint!

Some may say, but Joker revealed some things that could be interesting for Batman, moving forward... Spoiler Alert - in the future, Batman bleeps up! That's not much of a revelation. Batman is always screwing up. Just look at Arkham - full of his screw ups.

But, that's a story for another day (a day that hopefully, will NOT include actors Jared and Jesse).

#4 - Martian Manhunter.

He looks smoove. I don't know much about him. I've seen him in some cartoons. I imagine that someone who knows nothing at all about this universe would have been totally confused. But, regardless, he looked great! I hope we'll see him in the future. Why is the second part of his name "manhunter" though? First order of business, if he joins the team, is to change his name. Though perhaps all martians have names like that:

"Martian Boozehound", "Martian Cock Blocker", "Martian Narcissist". Maybe they'll all join one day.

The Martian didn't really move the plot though. He was just there to be kinda "look-at-me".

Think being on this second date, and at dinner, the person randomly starts juggling. You're like "That's really cool, but can we get back to the meal."

#5 - Steppenwolf!

YES! YES! and more YES! There's no way anyone can hate on his new look.

We also get some backstory as to why he's doing what he's doing. Before I thought he was simply being mean because his name is "Steppenwolf" A name like that demands that he be bullied. But, here, we find that he has pretty much been canceled.   I don't know what he did or tweeted, but Darkseid wasn't having it. Now, he's gotta do everything he can to get back into the fold; popping up random places and doing what he must to be redeemed - kinda like Louis C.K.

#6 - A lil more attention to the characters

a) Alfred being a gadget wiz.

b) Wonder Woman reminding us how amazing she is. Where was this woman in her sequel? THIS WW, I’d follow to hell and back.

c) Aquadude had some more scenes for build up as well.

Unfortunately, this woman was a part of it. 

She's not bad at acting, she's just a bad person (look her up if you don't know what I'm talking about).

d) Batman though --- it's not that I don't like Affleck in there. His Batman just looks so old, slow, and tired. There are some more chemistry/slightly flirtatious scenes with him and WW, and I'm like "Dude, there's no way that you have the energy for that action." :)

e) Cyborg though (Ray Fisher)-

He's the star of this cut! Before he was just the angry black guy. In this one... next to Superman, I'd say he was the most key to their victory.

As far as this second date:

It looks way better. There's a lil more story added. It's dark and depressing, but that's just how DC and Snyder roll.. This is probably why we don't see Shazam; he's way too peppy for the group.

Seriously wowed by the effects. I couldn't sit through 4 hours straight, but when I broke it up, I really enjoyed it!

However, it's still the same movie. You know?? The same failings are there from the first. It makes me think more of what could have been.

What if they had treated Ray Fisher better (look it up, if you don't know)?

What if they had taken their time to build up to this movie like Marvel did with The Avengers?

What if Batman and The Joker didn’t go through a identity crisis every few years?

Amy Adams is in this movie! She's one of the best actors around, today! I keep forgetting that she's in it, because they wasted her talents.

It's like our date got buff, dressed up this time, took us out for a nicer LONGER time, but they still rushed and were handsy, they were still a lil too dark 

(dating tips, kids: save your stories about your messed up childhoods for at least date #3), and they were still wearing that damned sauerkraut cologne.

Once again, good stuff, when not compared to a gourmet meal. More like a fancy McDonalds, serving us a quarter pound STEAK with cheese.

Grade: B-

[jcmorrigan]

001 - Tales of Zestiria?

Favorite character: It's a tough call between Maltran and Symonne, and Lunarre is trailing right behind both. I tend to call them the "Heldalf Squad," but make no mistake, Heldalf himself isn't part of it. I just like his swagalicious minions. The dry and sarcastic political manipulator, the sadistic and wordy theater nerd, and the flamboyant cannibal who hates everything. Yes. LOVE. But I have to give a shout to my boy Dezel on the hero side! Angsty/stoic characters are very hit-or-miss with me, but Dezel is the flavor I love - obvious soft spots and quirks, and slowly he builds from being antisocial to showing how big his heart is. When he stops the woman from leaping off the Guinevere tower...that's one of my favorite scenes in the entire game, because you can see when the switch flips, when he realizes that he CANNOT stay aloof any longer when there's a stranger's life on the line. He's still a grump about it but a compassionate grump.

Least Favorite character: Heldalf. His backstory is really clever, and I like the curse on him. But he himself just feels like Ganondorf but more boring. I kinda hate that he's so vanilla when his three lieutenants are in my arsenal of pet villains from the vastness of fiction. Also shout-out to Chancellor BART in the opening Ladylake act, because I distinctly remember liveblogging this to a friend, and I played Zestiria *after* Berseria (I'd loved Berseria and that's why I eventually sought out Zestiria) so here I am just comparing up the corrupt church in Ladylake to the Abbey's suave rogues gallery like "Yeah no BART has nothing on Lady Teresa Linares." Thankfully BART was never seen again.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): DezeRose, SorMik, Symonne x Coco Atarashi (The World Ends With You), Alisha Diphda x Sergei Strelka, and...I swear you have to bear with me here...Zaveid x Anna (Frozen). I also kinda wanna note a couple ships I'm on the fence about for my other favies - those being Maltran x Ebony Maw (Marvel Cinematic Universe or Marvel Ultimate Alliance) and Lunarre x Arkham (Devil May Cry).

Character I find most attractive: Dezel. It is a scientific fact that guys with pointy teeth are just hotter.

Character I would marry: Maybe Dezel, maybe Sergei. I wouldn't want to take them from those I see as their wifeys, but at the same time, they are husband goals, both of them.

Character I would be best friends with: Catch me clinging to Maltran's train and she drags me along annoyedly as I yell "PLEEEEAAASE LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS" and Lunarre is losing it laughing while Symonne rolls her eyes

a random thought: So I toyed around with basically every accessory I picked up, and I decided to put the sideburns on Rose because fuck gender roles. Well then I just got used to seeing her with facial hair in every cutscene where her 3D model was used, and now I headcanon that she does get it. Maybe nonclassical CAH intersex? Like, I don't necessarily see her as trans (but I support everyone who hc's her as such) but moreso "a cis woman, but I grow this stupid damn facial hair like a dude and I don't get why." And this is why you shouldn't let me play with customizable accessories on RPG characters because I can and will abuse my privilege to headcanon.

An unpopular opinion: That this is actually a very good game. Listen, I think I get it - the initial marketing promised something far different. And that's disappointing. But coming back to it several years after its release, after the release of its PREQUEL, when I never had that hype building up...it actually exceeded my expectations. I held off from it for a while because I thought Eizen's fate would make me too sad, but that didn't end up the case at all. I actually had just come off playing a more recently-released triple-A game that was hyped up for years, and I completed it to my satisfaction in 20 hours. $80 for 20 hours. Zestiria gave me my money's worth in comparison; it took me about 60, and I loved just how MUCH story it had to offer me. I honestly like Rose better than Alisha anyway (Rose was one of the biggest aspects that interested me about playing it in the first place). I've also seen complaints that the characters weren't well-developed enough? Which I just kinda take to mean "They didn't angst enough." Listen. There are PLENTY of games out there if you want angst and sad stories. I don't really like sad stories in my games. I like adventures where the party is a goofy foundfam that jokes around with each other and helps each other work through shitty situations, and that's EXACTLY what I got. (And Berseria really worked on me too because it kinda started at the bottom of the angst barrel, then worked its way up through "The edgy and tortured protag has gained a party of idiots and oh noooooo she's learning friendship and happiness.") Dezel's death is one of the few game deaths that just made me SATISFIED to watch instead of depressed because of the closure he got and the themes tied into his final moments and sacrifice. I loved going on this adventure, I loved the idiots who I went on it with, and I loved seeing what Glenwood had to offer me in world design the further I explored.

my canon OTP: There's not much for canon romance in this game, come to think of it. Just subtext and some flirting. So I'm blanking on if there actually were any canon couples at all.

Non-canon OTP: DezeRose! Which maybe can be considered almost-canon based on the amount of subtext, but still. It's adorable. (And it's the exact same dynamic as EiRoku except M/F and a thousand years later. I need these four to double date...the dual-wielding goofs with their edgy, grumpy Reapers...)

most badass character: Rose! Not only able to wield the Shepherd's Armatization powers, but also to be a dang good assassin on her own, able to hold her own against Heldalf before she even had her eyes opened to seraphim! Though a shout-out goes to Edna because her armatization was my favorite to play with. There's something just satisfying about bashing the enemy in front of you with a pair of GIANT FISTS

pairing I am not a fan of: RoseAli. To be honest, it was at one point something I kinda enjoyed as a third-tier ship for Rose (Dezel first, then Lailah in second). But then...Alisha's Story. I didn't actually purchase it, thank goodness, just watched it on YouTube, and it was the most grating addition that anyone could've made to this game. First of all, I can sum up the issues with Alisha's Story by reminding everyone that it canonized a secret entrance to Camlann that was much easier to get to and wasn't protected by Muse's sacrifice. But the real thing that hurt to watch was how far down they had to knock Rose and Alisha's friendship to get them to rebuild from scratch. Rose claiming she was never Alisha's friend because she's grieving Sorey? The two of them getting into a PHYSICAL FISTFIGHT over it? Nope nope nope. That's not my Rose. Even less my Rose is that whole scene where she...you know...pounces on Alisha to dress her in the silly noblewoman's dress, and it's framed like...let's just say it's really uncomfortable to watch if you don't know the punchline is just a silly outfit. Even though Alisha's Story isn't canon in my head, it still really killed any buzz I had for RoseAli. I will also say I'm not a big fan of Eizavie - first of all, EiRoku or bust in this house, and second, I have a little bit of a hard time seeing Zaveid as mlm due to how much he goes on and on about The Ladies(TM). (Though I could see Eizen as having a tiny crush on him, though. Just like "Oh no he's hot but he's connected to Aifread's disappearance help")

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Mostly just in Alisha's Story. I was mad about the aforementioned Rose stuff, but also...like...they undid Lunarre's original cathartic death, they did so to team him back up with Symonne and then do a whole fakeout that they had Maltran with them too, but Maltran is just an illusion and immediately after this, Lunarre and Symonne just decide "Yeah, we're not gonna work together anymore, have a nice life." Why does Maltran need to stay dead if LUNARRE somehow survived EXPLODING? And just...look to next question for more clarification:

favourite friendship: I just want to imagine that Maltran, Lunarre, and Symonne were weird evil friends. The kind who'd take artistic selfies and caption them "Murder and mayhem with my besties!". Maybe they even had a sibling dynamic. They were all pretty dang jaded, so I like to think they sat around sometimes talking about the things in this world that did them wrong. The reasons they were drawn to Heldalf. Heldalf himself wouldn't have cared, he would've kicked them around like disposable tools, but the three of them were too entrenched in his dogma to see it. Maybe if they met up again after he was off the board...then they'd sing a different tune. Realize they're all three better than this, and now they're gonna do things THEIR way, because remember when they made a three-point attack on Glenwood and Sorey was barely able to keep up with them wrecking Lastonbell AND Pendrago AND Glaivend? Remember when Lunarre and Symonne had each other's backs the night Dezel died? Now they can do what they want on their terms! And I just - I have many MANY feelings about these three.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: Okay silly self-insert time but the thing is, Archibald Snatcher (The Boxtrolls) and Roman Torchwick (RWBY) are my two favorite parental f/o's (and also my OTP to end all OTPs), and I have this thing about how they'd be PERFECT crime dads to Symonne in particular because she's like a little, more theatrical Neopolitan. So there's a universe in my head where Symonne is basically already my little sister, and I look out for her - well, okay, she's a seraph with powerful Artes and I am a powerless mortal so really she looks out for me because "I suppose SOMEONE has to make sure you don't die" and I am grateful to her for it.

[captainshazamerica]

If this Bruce doesn't adopt Tim I will! But I'm kinda scared for Tim I mean he's either gonna end up with Buce or the titans at some point, im afraid that something terrible is gonna happen his family and then titans/bruce takes him in? That boy loves batman and robin so much like even his family seeing the news knew how much it would upset him although I will say that for the brain that kid has he makes some pretty stupid decisions, hes driving around GOTHAM plastered in the bat-symbol that's not a good idea! the amount of lunatics that roam free in Gotham (and possibly have escaped from arkham) and hate the bat and hes driving around with the bat symbol on him KID be careful!

Some kind of Anti-fear toxin does seem more accurate cuz he's clearly taking something to not be afraid. Maybe it's something he found in Gotham and decided to try it and got addicted so he's using that lab place to try recreate it? and maybe he can't recreate it perfectly cuz in the crowbarring scene he seemed kinda anxious about his surroundings and he'd just taken that inhaler thing to overcome fear so I dunno?? Or maybe he went to arkham to see Crane for some reason and Crane has orchestrated the whole thing and told him about the drug but then wouldn't Crane have to know everyone's identity then? Dude I dunno I need more episodes even tho the low quality glitchyness is painful lol

There's probably an abundance of rooms to choose from at Wayne manor yet Jason takes Dicks old room and keeps the flying graysons posters up! I like to think that he does view dick as an older brother and just took his room to kind of have a connection to him and that he admires him hence the graysons posters being left up, yooo dick calling him his brother! I really want a nice family reunion with dick jason and bruce 💕

Babs was too mean to bruce when she went off like I get where she's coming from but yo lady his son just died dial it down like a notch yikes but also babs being like 'i wonder how long it'll take for bruce to replace jason and dick is all 'what no the last thing bruce is gonna do is rope another kid into this mess'. Cut to scene of Bruces potential robin folder 😅 but I also like that dick was trying to be considerate and compose himself for bruce but once he found out that bruce is idiot enough to pull another kid into this, that that's when he got mad and bruce so brokenly begging dick to come back and be robin 😢😢😢

I know the show is constantly trying to push bruce out/sideline him cuz it's a titans show not a bruce wayne show and I know they're going for a different portrayal of bruce which I'm not complaining about I do like this version of bruce (more than I thought actually) and this universe but I feel like they could have gave more cracks you know, I like that they showed him trying to avoid the reality of jasons death and just not stopping not even for a second and just immediately jump into another case and that breakdown verge where he's begging dick to be robin and then when he finally I guess let's the weight of jasons loss sit on him to the point where he whacks in jokers head with a crowbar just like he killed jason (he could have killed joker so many other ways like a less violent bullet to the head but oh no brucey crowbars him to death!!)

There's a lot of character stuff that i do like but that scene where he's in the cave on his knees scrubbing his sons blood out of the suit he died in, the suit that he only ever wore because of batman. 😢 I feel like they could have had him crack there and let out a gut wrenching scream and then just continue on doing what he was doing as if nothing happened and dick walking in on that should have had more of a reaction!? like he could have stopped in his tracks at the sight of his brothers blood all over his father and bruce screaming, dick could have like took a step back almost like he's gonna run but forces himself to stay there, because who wouldn't want to run from that and no matter how much horrible things you've dealt with before sometimes your brain does just take over against your will and makes you react, the rest of the scene just could have played out the way it did. Literally one ounce more emotion is all I wanted.

No one really emotionally cracked at jasons death. I get that it just happened and that people put walls up and denial can be such a prominent thing when a loved one dies but it couldn't have been that difficult to put in little mannerisms now and again to show that everyone is deeply hurt but holding it in. Honestly gar seemed more hurt to me than dick did. But I do like that dick reacted in detective mode and started trying to figure things out from jasons side so at least there's that.

This redhood is defo not an anti hero he has well and truly landslided into villian territory and I dunno how that's gonna be reconciled? they better not kill him off! and they better not just straight up keep redhood/jason as a full on villian! but if they do get through to jason and bring him back a little how the heck is that little man gonna deal with what he did to Hank?? I feel like they had a bond you know and for all Hanks talk about putting Jason down I really don't think that Hank would actually have killed him even if it came down to Hanks life vs Jasons I think Hank would rather die than kill Jason (but that's heavily biased cuz in my mind jason is my son and I freaking love hank sooo) but Hank to me puts on a hard front like 'yeah I'll get in your face I'll come at you b*tch' but internally he's like 'yeah I'll come at you to help you' 😅 like internally he defo has a lot of soft spots though that's not to say he'd be like this for someone like the joker or scarecrow or whatever guys like that he'd be like no screw you you die or go to arkham like byeee

Nevermind how jason is gonna come back from this though HOW IN THE ACTUAL SH*T is dawn gonna come back from this!!?!!

Random side note here but imagine Jasons first time in the batcave he would be so excited and trying to mess with everything and being like ohh what's that do and pressing random buttons and bruce having a hernia trying to get jason to stop before he accidentally blows the cave up 😅 also he has probably been caught several times trying to 'borrow' the batmobile, I can just picture him trying to sneak down the halls of the manor without the floor creaking and making it all the way into the cave and doing a victory dance cuz he didn't get caught and he hops on into the batmobile in his pj's and let's out a scream cuz alfred is sitting in the freakin passenger seat waiting for him and then they just hang out in the batmobile alfred had the good foresight to bring a flask of tea books and a blanket for jason

Speaking of Alfred I think it would have been more angsty and hurtful if Alfred died shortly after Jason and after a few days Jason claws his way out his grave and the first thing he sees is Alfreds headstone and that's how he finds out Alfred died : (((

This is so long girl I'm sorry I know it doesn't seem like it but I did restrain myself 😅 one more thing before I go maybe this Dick is the absolute worst mf and the reason babs feels betrayed by him and is so upset with him could be that he left her (or cheated on her) with Dawn cuz of that weird flashback thingy in the other season where dick dawn was a thing I dunno I hope not though that would be ughhh

Oh crap, you right about probably something bad will happen to Tim for Bruce or Titans to take him in, I was gonna say he could just demand to be in their lives to save Bruce/Dick like in the comics but he also has kinda shitty parents normally and these people seem cool so really it could go either direction, but like it’s Titans so it doesn’t look good lol. Also, I wonder if it’s gonna be Dick who is basically gonna adopt him this time since we already had a huge track record in just 2 seasons lmao. But I know right, true I like how his parents knew immediately how much the news would effect him 😭 I hope he goes down the making himself robin and forcing himself in Dick and Bruce’s life xD I love that route. Lmao, the kid is all book smart, very little street smart when it doesn’t have to do with outsmarting someone XD

I was also rewatching and that gas he takes def has to be some anti fear toxin cause he mentions fear so many times and flash backed to his near death fall, which he felt was probably holding him and back and thus had to prove himself and adds to whatever is influencing him. But ohhh he did seem pretty dang anxious at the carnival grounds, that’s a really interesting theory but recreating something he found hmm, I can see that.

Apparently according to a YouTube who got to see the first 5 episodes, we find out what his deal is a lot more in episode 5, so one more week hopefully

Brooo trueee, I couldn’t believe jason took dick’s room and like didn’t even change anything. Like Jason looks or at least use to look up to Dick SO much, like in his first episode in the first season, he went on quite a lot about how much he had always wanted to meet him and how much he looked up to him, which is probably also fueling his red hood rage, being hurt by your idol and brother like he did in S2 must have really just killed the boy. But yes omg, there freaking better be a dang family reunion scene like, after so much angst we deserve that 😭

And yesss, I loved seeing how mature Dick is getting and just how much he is growing as a character, the fact he was so calm and considerate with Bruce at first really shows that compared to s1 Dick, only breaking when Bruce tried to get more kids involved. That scene by Brenton was sooo well acted omg, the way he yelled that he doesn’t want to robin again, heartbreaking man. And Bruce begging like that omg

Yeah, this version of Bruce is def so different than any Bruce we have seen on screen before, like def the most emotionally constipated, and that’s saying something xD But I like how they are taking a risk, it also helps Dick’s character more and give him more of an arc, as he seems to be taking on Bruce’s normal role with Jason and red hood. Bro, you are so right omg, like the fact Bruce could have killed the joker in any way and he does it with the dang crowbar. It really shows how broken he really was and why the man shouldn’t depressing any and every damn feeling and emotion lol.

Omg, I love how you have the exact details of what you wanted to happen in that one Bruce and Dick scene 😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 bro if you dont already you should totally write fanfics cause that was so detailed, I love it

Yeah, I do wish someone cracked (other than Bruce lmao) a bit more, but I do think each character reacted in character though, like it is very Dick(at least this version of Dick, other versions may break down tbh) to put everything into solving the case and figuring out what was up, that’s more this version’s way of caring than just breaking down, like he rarely ever has broken down completely. I think dawn could have been a little more emotional about the death (tho she has enough coming for her lmao). Connor didn’t know Jason that well so it makes sense he would just be sad. Gar seemed pretty sad and in character about it, maybe could have had a bit more, same with Kori, tho she showed it by being almost angry and fiercely protective of everyone else, so I think that makes sense for her. It would have been interesting to see how Rachel and Rose would have reacted though (where did rose go btw?! She would so have a reaction to Jason’s death). But yeah, i wish there was more resolution and break downs for Jason, but also it may have just not felt real since they weren’t there? But I agree

You think? Idk, I think they could def still make him an anti hero towards the end, especially if it’s crane behind the whole thing. Cause if they don’t they are gonna have to go down the gosh awful overused villain gets redeemed while he dies/only to die right freaking after , and I will be so freaking livid if they do that omg. Like they better freaking not. But true, he would be broken by what he did to Hank, oh yikes. But I can see him then that leading to the anti hero path, like he would never go back to be on the titans cause he would feel too guilty, thus giving more of a reason for the anti hero life. But I know, I loved Jason and Hank’s love hate relationship 😭😭😭😭 You know Hank secretly loved the kid and probably saw himself in him.

Yikes poor dawn, you right. Like I have no idea how she is gonna be now like wow.

OMG GIRL, You are on a hc angst train today!!!! That scenario of Alfred dying right after jason and Jason climbing out to see Alfred’s?! Heartbreaking!

But I can’t believe they killed Alfred off so casually tho😭

Omg I swear if they freaking show Dick having cheated on Babs I will be so freaking pissed omg, he better have not! Im hoping they had a more high school romance thing/grew up together then got together type of thing

And omg don’t apologize I LOVED IT and reading your asks!!! I feel ya too!

[mygayexcatholicass]

Slumber Party Harley

On the first day of #Harleyween I was, well, minding my own damn business sleeping like a normal human being at 2PM after a long Coney Island slumber party, when this wannabe Thanos comes in telling me his name is Mar Novu (sounds fake) and he goes by “The Monitor” (sounds stick-up-ass-y) and something about other Harleys needing help or whatever and I went OFF. I am the one and only Harley Quinn, jerk! Well, turns out he was right, and to prove his point he thrust me into the Multiverse to save the other Harleys, at least after the weird colorless universe with no Harley but, mmm, America’s ass. Happy Twelfth Day of Halloween to me (and Stevie)!

Birds of Prey Harley

On the second day of #Harleyween the freaking best looking Helena Bertinelli told me I was on Earth-2, and she was in this Earth’s version of the Birds of Prey, and DAMN these girls know how to party. Helped them take down Victor Szasz uglier revived version, who’s just kinda sad without Sionis’s leg to hump. Kind of a quick trip but it was nice to have a girl group take me out for drinks and tacos after Szasz was dead… again. This Harley might be my favorite. Happy Thirteenth Day of Halloween!

Animated Series Harley

On the third day of #Harleyween Ivy told me I was on Earth-3, which was WILD let me tell you. This Harley has brought together the cutest if inept and kind of gross crew, and ugh if I have to deal with the Legion of Doom in any universe ever again I’m just going to murder them all. Most of all, Lex, the Most Annoying Rich Asshole in the Multiverse. He’s needed for Season 3 but I made sure he’d need a bit to recover before his next appearance. Also, Harley of Earth-3, I rehired the sushi chef. Happy Fourteenth Day of Halloween!

Injustice 2 Harley

On the fourth day of #Harleyween Batsy of Earth-4 replaced any marker of Joker’s ownership with a bat on the back of my jacket, and if poor Dickie is dead and Damian is predictably a little shit (in my opinion as a doctor), I guess this Harley became Robin or something? Well Supes goes dark and the Brainiac takes over, I guess everything goes tits up. Even had to take on the worst version of Ivy (like did they consult even one woman before designing this character?) who was still an ecoterrorist so that was sexy but she got in bed with Scarecrow which is the opposite of “sploosh”. Would it kill ya to smile after I saved your shiny ass, Batsy? Happy Fifteenth Day of Halloween!

Suicide Squad Harley

On the fifth day of #Harleyween let me tell you, I could not WAIT to get off Earth-5. I’m sure this Harley hates her outfit to but MY LORD can we get the director and costume designer to try this shit on??? I think this train of thought began as a tirade but honestly I’d love to see men in this outfit… anyhoos this Suicide Squad was… decent but at least the Wall was still HBIC and she sent me on a covert mission that made it all worth it I guess (I killed Earth-5’s Mistah J who’s more of a joke than a joker). Happy Sixteenth Day of Halloween!

Arkham Knight Harley

On the sixth day of #Harleyween I found out on Earth-6 I was still in Arkham, which I’m mostly surprised this is the only universe “The Monitor” sent me to where I was in the asylum. Needless to say I negotiated with this Batsy (sooooo much angst) and even helped him fight the second Arkham Knight, who of course was the new warden, Astrid Arkham, and of course if the hero’s fighting a girl villain he’s gotta have a plucky girl to accompany otherwise it looks sexist. Hopefully this Harley turns her life around ‘cause I ain’t breaking out that place again for anyone but probably myself. Like Earth-1 me. Happy Seventeenth Day of Halloween!

Classic Harley

On the seventh and final day of #Harleyween I didn’t even need to know that I was on Earth-7. I didn’t need to know the backstory of this universe or if they’ve had the pandemic or who’s taking over the world or nothing. I woke up in this costume with a mallet in hand next to the man who thinks he gave me my voice and my shtick when really he’s just a rapist who acid-fried himself a girlfriend and likes to cause chaos so his real love will notice him. I think it was good for me, ya know? Catharsis and all that? Well as satisfying as it was for me, I guess it also served to fulfill “The Monitor’s” mission for me. He sent me back here, to Earth-1 and maybe we’ll just have another slumber party since y’all stayed so long. Happy Eighteenth Day of Halloween!

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

Okay, so I've been working a lot recently on my version of the DCU, particularly the Batman side of it, so quick recap on stuff I did to a variety of the villains:

I lengthened out Harvey Dent's fall from grace extensively, and filled in a lot of the gaps: in most versions I've read (which... isn't many, I'm not that well-versed in Two-Face lore) there's a gap between his introduction and him getting acided, but after said aciding he almost immediately goes to the robbing the Second National Bank on 2nd Street at 2nd Avenue thing, and honestly I think there's way more opportunities with a slowly corrupting man in the role of District Attorney.

Scarecrow doesn't have Fear Toxin at all. He keeps trying to get it, but the ingredients for it are really hard to get so it's only deployed in the extremely rare circumstances that Crane has both all the ingredients and time to make it. What that means is that most of Batman and Scarecrow's fights are elaborate games of theatricality and deception, to steal from Nolan, Scarecrow trying to hide which component of the toxin he's after from Batman and both of them trying to scare the other into giving something away.

There are two distinct versions of Poison Ivy - the first is a femme fatale who uses pheromones to seduce and then kill people and who is regarded as a mentally unstable ecoterrorist, with no-one believing her claims of being an Avatar of the Green. The second is literally Gaia's Vengeance, a supernatural being that is almost completely detached from humanity aside from a few morals and an attachment to Harleen Quinzel as the only doctor to not see her talk of the Green as the core of her problems. The two are sharply divided by that arc from Alan Moore's Swamp Thing when Alec goes to Gotham and beats the shit out of Batman, during which he dropped in on Arkham and taught Ivy everything about this connection to the Green that she couldn't even express because humanity doesn't have a word for it. Also the second version of Ivy works a lot like Batman's version of Mxyzptlk or Circe - an antagonist that Bruce has no chance against in a straight fight, and so he has to convince her that she should stop her plans without registering himself to her as a threat, because if he does he's screwed.

Speaking of Harley, like with Harvey I've lengthened out her backstory and added one key element: she's Batman's contact inside Arkham Asylum, largely because Arkham is still Arkham and she's one of the only people inside actually interested in helping the people locked up in there. Her fall is long, drawn out, and in no small part exacerbated by the institution of Arkham in general, with the guy who dresses as a giant bat being really the only person who doesn't think she's incompetent because she's got boobs and diagnosed schizophrenia.

Ra's al Ghul, on top of being influenced by my love of all things Assassin's Creed, has a constant problem of changing his nemeses. As he's introduced he's more of an Alfred villain than anything else - the reason he's equal parts obsessed with Bruce joining him and laughably bad at selling joining him to Bruce is because 'Get the Detective to join me' is Step 1 on his master plan of getting revenge on Alfred for killing him back in the 60s or 70s whichever is more Bond, and so he genuinely only sees Bruce as a pawn in his game against Alfred. Eventually he clues in and starts treating Bruce as a worthy adversary, but even then he spend more time bothering Tim because hey, corrupting the proxy son of the guy you're fighting worked brilliantly the last time, didn't it?

It should be noted that whilst Ra's elaborate game of pass the antagonist is going on, there's an shadow war between the League of Assassins, who follow Ra's and wear black robes and hoods, and the Order of Assassins led by Nyssa Raatko who wear white robes and hoods with red sashes and blades beneath their wrists have I spelled out what they're a ripoff of yet. Nyssa incidentally is a mishmash of a load of different versions of her - she's in a relationship with Sara Lance like in the Arrowverse, centuries older than Talia like in Death and the Maidens, violently opposed to Ra's cobtinued use of the Lazarus Pits like in the Arkham Knight DLC, and because she's mainly seen in The Hooded Man (i.e. the Green Arrow thing) there's a lot of Nasir from Robin of Sherwood there too.

You would not believe how hard I had to convince myself to not go with The Batman's version of the Riddler. Frankly it's still up in the air, it could go either way, it's either that or Eddie does a couple of brain-teaser crimes before giving up and going into PI work with Gordon. ...actually, fuck it, both of them, I would kill to have a story with Gordon trying to convince people he's completely trustworthy whilst his partner sounds like Freddy Krueger.

Because there's a lot of vampire villains in Batman stories, I just went 'fuck it' and replaced the Court of Owls with a secret community of vampires. They may still have the owl masks, I think they're kinda cool, but there less 'antagonists' and more one more social ill Batman needs to manage as both Batman and Bruce Wayne.

The Killing Joke is not a thing - whilst Babs does become Oracle, the Joker is not at all responsible for it. He may be responsible for Jason's death, I haven't figured that out yet, but he's by no means the multiple mass murderer DC likes to portray him as - he's a hedonist with a taste for puns, he only occasionally kills people and only when it's funny to do so, he's not a serial killer (ironically explaining it like that goes some way to convincing me why he isn't responsible for Jason's death).

He doesn't technically count as a Batman villain, but I honestly think Deathstroke may be my favourite character to write about in this entire thing, and honestly I love everything about him. The key idea behind this - and one I attribute completely to this post on @davidmann95 - is that Slade, convinced that he lives not in the DCU but rather in something like The Boys or a Youngblood comic, is completely oblivious to how the laws of this world work, and so no matter how physically strong he is he keeps getting dunked on by teenagers because that's his place in this world. But more than that - his conviction that he is the hero of this story leads him to miss that literally everyone in his supporting cast is better than him - his children are better fighters, his ex-wife is a better soldier, the person he thinks is his best friend is secretly manipulating him - because Wintergreen's the real supervillain here, in a twist that has a fascinating backstory both in and out of universe. Slade Wilson's life is one hilarious black comedy piece after another, a comedy he's incapable of seeing - and one that, because he acts like he's in a Mark Millar comic, he's completely deserving of.

And I think that's it? There are a few villains - Hush above all else - that I don't want to touch with a ten-foot pole, and a few that I feel don't really need changing - Freeze and Killer Croc spring to mind. And then there's the ones like Penguin or Bane, who I feel like I'd change but I have no real idea of how to change them yet. Expect a reblog with another block of text once I figure that out.

[megaguardain]

Achievement Hunter Crew: The Bat-Heist, Prologue and Chapter One

UPDATED

After the whole thing with James Ryan ‘the asshole guy’ Haywood, I’ve written him completely out of the story. He doesn’t exist in this universe anymore. Also, I’ve moved the timeline so character’s have changed superhero identities.

Introduction

In a world where superheroes have been around since the early 1900s, no one just robs banks anymore. Everyone’s gotta be taking over the world or enslaving the human race or whatever. But this crew, they’re just wanna rob and steal, not for the money. Just for bragging rights.

Earth-96 is a world where DC characters premiere when they first appear in the comics and age in real time. Batman has been patrolling Gotham since 1939 and the mantle has passed from Bruce Wayne to others since his passing.

Prologue

Earth-96, 2019. Tyler, Texas.

“The Batman was ‘instrumental’ in the arrest of the Joker earlier tonight, a spokesman from the GCPD told us,” the newswoman on the TV said. Shots of a battered Joker, giggling to himself, being loaded into an armored police van while Batman spoke to the police. He was actually shorter than the officers he spoke to.

Batman pressed something on his gauntlet and there was a sound of a roaring engine as something giant barreled toward him. As it got close, the Batman leapt into the air and grabbed onto the giant vehicle.

“Was that a new car?” a newsman asked as the cameraman caught the rear of the Batmobile turning down an alley, “Or did the Flash just pick him up?”

“It probably was a new car. How many has he got now?”

“Probably as many Robins he’s had,” the newswoman commented as she shuffled the papers in front of her, “Up next, who is this new Green Lantern?” the picture shifted to an amateur shot of a Latino woman in a Green Lantern uniform, “And can we trust her?”

The TV turned off. The man watching it put down the remote and sat up, stroking his lower jaw while in deep thought. He wore a black two-piece suit over a white dress shirt. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing the million tattoos on his arms. After reaching some kind of conclusion in his head, the man smiled and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts and selected one labelled “Michael”.

The phone rang as he put it to his ear.

“‘Sup Geoff,” Michael answered.

“‘Sup Michael, listen,” Geoff said, “I got an idea for something,”

“What kinda something?”

“A big something,”

“We heisting?” Michael asked.

“Oh yeah. It’s a big one, we’re going to need everyone on this,”

“What’re we stealing? Cash? Gold?”

“A car,”

There was a moment of awkward silence before Micahel asked, “Just a car?”

“‘Just a car?’,” Geoff sarcastically asked back, “Just get everyone and meet me at the safehouse,”

“Ya gotta give me something more than that Geoff,” Michael insisted, “Alfredo probably won’t show up over ‘just a car’,”

“We’re heisting the Batman’s car,” Geoff dropped the bomb.

“Shit,” Michael chuckled after another moment of silence, “Yep. Alfredo’s going to love that. That really isn’t just a car,”

“Told ya,” Geoff smiled, amused with himself, “We’ll go over the details at the safehouse,”

“A’ight. See ya soon,” Michael said.

“See ya soon,” Geoff said, ending the call. Geoff poured himself a glass of whiskey as he looked out the window, “This’ll be one for the books,”

Chapter 1:Unpredictable in a Predictable Way

Earth-96. Gotham City, New Jersey.

The new Batmobile had great soundproofing. Batman could hardly hear the sound of the engine from inside the car. The car sped through the streets of Gotham, everything inside was tinted red from the interior lights. He piloted the car over the Robert Kane Memorial Bridge, leaving the city lights glaring through the smog behind him.

“Dim exterior lights,” Batman commanded, his voice distorter still active. The external lights on the Batmobile dimmed, providing almost as much visibility as if they were turned completely off, “Engine, silent run,” Batman commanded. The engine of the Batmobile fell silent, even from outside the car it barely made a sound. 

Batman’s muscle memory expertly piloted the car down a hidden path off the side of the road, towards Wayne Manor. It rolled down and around, along a cliff face on the coast to a cave entrance that was hidden by a waterfall. Inside the cave was dimly lit by lights on either side of a paved track. The Batmobile followed the track into the cave.

After minute or two of following the dimly lit track, the cave opened up into a large cavern. There were multiple platforms bolted to the walls of the cavern, connected by catwalks, wires and elevators. The track the Batmobile led to one of the lowest platforms, it looked like a shelving unit with multiple cubbies that held various bat themed vehicles. From older Batmobiles to the Batplane, Batcyles, a lot of bat themed vehicles. Batman parked the Batmobile he was driving in the empty spot on the Vehicle Platform and got out of the car.

“How’s the new car?” a voice above called down. Batman looked up to see a man with black hair leaning on the railing of the platform above looking down at him. The man wore a red hoodie with a dark t-shirt with Batman’s logo on it.

“It pulls to the left,” Batman said as he approached the nearby elevator, “And the seat is too big,” he added as he stepped into the elevator. The elevator had no music as it took him up to the higher platform.

“Well, you’ll break her in. And maybe grow into the seat too,” the man teased. He was a whole six inches taller than Batman’s five and a half feet stature.

“I have never understood why you refer to the cars as ‘her’ Tim,” Batman said, ignoring the joke about his height and walking toward the fifteen foot, multi-screen computer on the platform, “Joker’s back in Arkham,” Batman said as he sat down in the large chair in front of the computer. He looked tiny in the chair.

“And his gang is already rioting. Wanting to strike down the government hierarchy,” Tim explained.

“What about Sionis or Ogilvy?” Batman asked as the computer displayed the profiles of Black Mask and Emperor Penguin.

“The False Face Society has been growing. With Joker’s latest stunt, they probably won’t stop,” Tim reported, “Ogilvy seems content with running business from the Iceberg Lounge. No one’s going to try anything big for a while,”

“What about Jason and his gang?” Batman asked, taking his cowl off. Showing that Batman wasn’t actually a man, but an Asian woman with short black hair.

“Cass, I know Jason isn’t your favorite person, but he’s on our side,” Tim sighed.

“He is a criminal, he kills people,” Cass scowled. The computer displayed information about the Red Hood Gang, run by the formerly dead, formerly Robin, Jason Todd.

“So did Bruce originally!” Tim countered.

“Not the same,”

“How?”

“Bruce was wrong and he realized that when he adopted Dick,” Cass explained.

“Well, just think of him as a neccessary evil,” Tim sighed, walking away.

Cass just stared at the computer screens as they continued to scroll through the different gangs of Gotham City and their territories around Gotham. The screens shifted to reports of the Joker Gang protesting outside Arkham Asylum, calling to free Joker.

The next night,

“Everybody on the ground!” a man wearing a potato-brown mask with a hand drawn smile shouted as he fired his rifle into the ceiling of the bank. He wore a brown leather jacket over a kevlar vest and t-shirt.

“Let’s go! Give us the money!” a man wearing a hockey mask that had a pattern with stickers from different tourist traps from around America shouted, tossing a duffle bag to the teller behind the counter. He wore a black two-piece suit under a kevlar vest and held a shotgun to a teller.

A third man wearing a BMX helmet, a Hawaiian shirt under a kevlar vest and white shorts, kept a shotgun trained on a security guard, “Don’t,” he growled when the guard moved.

“I knew it was a bad idea to extend hours into the evening,” the guard grumbled.

“Just load up the cash, we’re not interested in being murderers,” the one in the hockey mask said. The teller loaded bundles of money into the duffle bag.

“Give me the dye packs,” the one in the potato mask ordered another teller.

“Wh-what?” the teller asked.

The man in the potato mask punched the bulletproof glass that separated him and the teller, it shattered into pieces and possibly made several bystanders wet themselves as they screamed, “Dye packs,” the man ordered again, aiming his rifle at the teller, “Now,”

The teller quickly gathered and placed the dye packs on the counter in front of the potato masked man. The robber put the dye packs in his jacket pockets.

“How we doin’ Alpha?” he asked.

“I got the money!” the tourist hockey masked man shouted, taking the filled duffle bag from the teller, “Let’s go!”

The three bank robbers made their way to the front door, they each took cover on either side of the door frame. A sign behind them said ‘Welcome to Gotham City Trust, your money is safe with us!’.

“GCPD should be here any second now,” the BMX helmet man said.

“Good,” the potato masked man said, tossing the dye packs to his partners. The crew had to wait for less than a minute before they heard the sirens. The sirens stopped as they came close to the bank.

“GCPD!” they could hear shouted at them over a loudspeaker, “Put your weapons down and come out with your hands up!”

“They asked us so nicely Bravo, whaddya think?” the potato maked man asked.

“We should give them a gift for being so nice, Charlie,” the man wearing the BMX helmet suggested.

Alpha, Bravo and Charlie opened the doors of the bank and, without emerging too much from cover, threw the dye packs at the police cars parked outside. They landed with audible thuds that the robbers could hear from the bank entrance.

“Grenades!” one of the officers shouted.

“Go! Go! Go!” Alpha commanded. The robbers ran out the door and to the right, travelling along the side of the bank and away from the cops.

“Wait, it’s not a gre-” the dye packs exploded, covering the squad cars and nearby officers in hot red paint and creating a red smoke that flew into the sky.

“See ya losers!” Charlie shouted back at the police as he continued to flee.

The crew crossed the street, avoiding the oncoming traffic that sounded their horns at them, they came into a small alleyway that had an armored four-door car waiting for them. But before they could get close to the car, a shuriken in the shape of a pair of bird wings embedded itself in the car’s hood.

“You guys new ‘round here?” a young voice asked. The crew looked and saw an African-American man on the nearby fire escape, holding two yellow escrima sticks connected by yellow wire. He had yellow helmet with a black visor in the shape of a bat. He wore a yellow and black suit with a black reflective bat symbol on his chest, “Ya’ll should just give-”

The robbers just started firing at him. The young man pressed himself back against the building while the robbers slowly made their way close to the car. Bravo entered first in the driver’s seat and started the car, Alpha sat in the passenger’s seat while Charlie got into the back. Bravo sped out of the alleyway before the young man could stop them.

“We got the Signal’s attention, won’t be long ‘til he shows up,” Charlie said.

“You know what to do if that happens,” Alpha said.

Bravo drove the car away from the bank, several police cars with lights and sirens blaring chased after them. As they weaved through the slower traffic, Charlie rolled down the window next to him and started blind firing back at the cops.

“So, how’s it feel to be back in your home state Charlie?” Bravo asked casually.

“Heh. It’s alright. Never been to Gotham,” Charlie said just as casually, “Always wanted to see the Bat with my own eyes,”

“Well, if this goes right, you’re going to,” Alpha said. Bravo slipped through a hole in a police blockade on the Madison Bridge that led into Old Gotham. As the crew came off the bridge, a shadow passed over them.

“Was that-?” Charlie asked, just before Batman landed on their hood, “Yep! Yes it was!”

“Pull over!” the vigilante ordered.

“You want me to pull over? Okay!” Bravo said, jerking the wheel to one side, causing the car to spin out as Charlie pulled his upper half out of the window. Charlie fired his rifle at Batman, the dark knight flipped onto the roof and kicked the gun out of his hand.

“Shit!” Charlie cried.

Batman pulled Charlie out of the car, but he punched Batman in the gut. They both flew off the car as it sped away, a few police cars shot past them to chase after the other robbers while others stopped to barricade the street. Charlie stood up and pulled off his ruined potato mask, his face was hardly scratched despite having kissed the street at almost seventy miles per hour.

“You’re shorter than I expected,” he commented when Batman stood up.

“Give up,” Batman ordered.

“No, fuck you,” Charlie smirked, putting his fists up in a fighting stance. Charlie ran at Batman, throwing a right hook but Batman was already dodging, he grabbed Charlie’s arm and restrained it behind his back.

“Your friends left you behind,”

“Yeah well,” Charlie groaned, “Still gotta job to do,” he twisted around and tried to punch Batman with his free hand, but Batman caught it and restrained it too.

Charlie shrugged off Batman’s grip, surprising the vigilante, before spinning around to slug the dark knight, but only grazed his bat-ears. Batman struck a space under Charlie’s arm and robber’s arm fell limp. Charlie looked at his unusable arm and gave a one armed shrug, he charge at Batman again. Just as he got close enough to punch Batman, he realized he was flat on his back with Batman standing above him. The last thing he remembers before blacking out was Batman’s fist.

“Cass,” The Signal’s voice came over the radio in Batman’s ear.

“Go ahead Signal,” Batman said as he watched the police take custody of the bank robber.

“Sorry, they got away,” The Signal said, “I lost track of them and they switched cars before I found them again,”

“Understood, we’ll find them,” Batman assured.

Alpha and Bravo drove a beat up hippie van to a warehouse on one of Gotham’s many docks. They had removed their masks already, Bravo sporting a full beard of reddish-brown hair and glasses. Alpha having a handlebar mustache and stubble. 

“You sure Michael’s the one that should’ve been caught, Geoff?” Bravo asked as they pulled into the warehouse. It was pretty sparse inside, not much in terms of equipment or lighting. Two people sat at a crate, one was on her Nintendo Switch playing some game, the other was cleaning a sniper rifle.

“I’m sure Jack. He can buy the time Gavin and Trevor need, and get out without much trouble,” Geoff explained as he put the looted money on a crate they were using as a table, “Everything is going according to plan,”

[apocalypticwafflekitten]

I’m Coming Back For  You - Pt. 1

Jerome Valeska x Winged!Reader

A/N: Hello y’all! I’m back with another story! This time it’s a story set in the Gotham universe since I’ve been binging the show recently, and I’ve absolutely fallen in love with it! This is a story that I thought up, and I may turn it into multiple parts if it gets to be too long. 

Summary Kinda Thing/Original Imagine: This is basically the story of your relationship with everyone’s favorite murder carrot.

Warnings: This may be kinda long, and throughout the entire story there will probably be a few time skips. I don’t know if that’s cause for warning, but there you go! I’m also going to change some things in the plot, most should be minor, but there might me something major since I haven’t seen season four yet. There’s minor spoilers, but nothing ground-breaking. This story starts before Jerome is put in Arkham for killing his mom. (Sorry. Minor spoiler there.) Also, in the beginning it’s set around Christmas time, and the reader might do some Christmas-y things, but I mean no offense, or non-inclusion to anyone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas. Finally, minor swearing. Maybe.

Winter in Gotham was always brutal. Much like the town itself. However, you didn’t mind because that meant that you could roast marshmallows over the fire in your fireplace, and wear big sweaters while watching classic Christmas movies.  

Right now, you were sitting in your favorite armchair, sipping on a cup of hot cocoa, reading your favorite book. Nuzzling your face a little further into the over-sized turtleneck of your burgundy sweater, and draping one of your crimson wings over your lap, you tuned into the back ground, listening to “It’s A Wonderful Life” which happened to be playing on TV. 

Your reading was interrupted only when you heard the distinct double-knock which announced the arrival of someone at your door. You stood and marked the spot in your book, then quickly made your way to the front door to greet the person waiting there. A little part of you hoped it was carolers, but given that it was the evening in Gotham, you thought that that was highly unlikely. 

When you reached the oak door that was stained to look a deep cherry red, you turned the brass doorknob and opened the door to the shivering guests outside. The cool winter breeze smacked you in the face as the door swung open, and your four wings perked up happily to see Jim Gordon, and a ginger boy you didn’t recognize who looked to be about your age. He looked at you quizzically, curiously. It was more than likely towards the four giant wings on your back, but who knows. Your hair had been acting pretty weird lately.

“Hiya Jim! What brings you all the way over here this late on a cold Winter’s Night?” You ask the detective dramatically, motioning to him and the stranger that they were welcome to come in. 

“Hey (Y/N). I’m here for a case…sort of. This is Jerome Valeksa.” Jim explained, turning to look at the ginger. “His mother was murdered this afternoon and he needs a place to stay. I know this is short notice, but do you think he could stay here for a while? At least until we can find his mother’s killer?”   

Your wings dropped in sudden sadness for the boy. “Yes! That would be perfectly fine!” You quickly answer, losing any and all joking tones you had had earlier. Then you turned to Jerome. “”I’m so sorry hun! I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through! You can make yourself at home and I’ll go set up the guest room.”

“Thank you.” Jerome answered, sniffling a little bit at the end of his sentence. His face was still blotchy and a little red from either the cold, or crying. Probably both.   

“I’m (Y/N) by the way. Ill have your room ready in a few minutes. If you’d like there’s some Taco Soup on the stove. Bowls are going to be in the cupboard above the stove to the right.” You explained, then turned to go down the hallway to your guest room.  

Once you were in the room, putting the sheets on the full-sized bed, Jim came in and helped you with the dreaded fitted sheet. 

“Thank you for letting Jerome stay here. Especially on such short notice. Poor kid’s been through hell.”

“I don’t mind at all. If something like that were to happen to me, I’d be completely distraught. I know I would want to stay somewhere other than home. Too many memories.” You replied somberly, beginning to work on the sheets, tucking your wings tightly to your back so they didn’t get in the way.

“I’m sure he’s grateful.” Jim paused for a moment, fighting with a pillowcase. “Ill come back when I’ve got more information, or the name of the murderer.” 

“Alrighty. I wish you luck with the case.” 

“Thank you.” Jim paused for a moment, worry glinting in his eyes. “I hope we can find the killer.”  

“You will Jim. I have no doubt.” You say, trying to offer some comfort.  

With that, Jim smiled, and  left you to finish off the comforter and the last pillowcase. 

Once you were done setting up the room, you headed back to the kitchen where you found Jerome sitting over an empty bowl of soup, looking into it as if it held the secrets to the universe and life itself.  

“Did you like it?” You asked as you made a b-line for the stove where the warm soup lay waiting for you.  

Jerome jumped as if he hadn’t heard you coming. He swung his head to look at you with wide eyes.  

“I’m sorry. I’m a quiet walker. How was the soup?” You asked once more, grabbing a bowl and filling it for yourself. 

“It was really good.” He replied. His voice seemed a little more confident than before, and that made you happy on the inside. You hoped that that meant that he felt at least a little more comfortable here.  

“Thank you. It’s my special recipe.” You say as you take a seat at the end of the table next to him.  

“You’re a very good cook then.” Jerome complimented.  

“Why, thank you.” You beamed inside and out, wings lifting a little in happiness. You liked it when someone complimented you or your cooking.  

You took the next few minutes to explain where his room was and the bathroom and everything he needed to know.  

“…And most importantly…… this is where I keep the hot cocoa.” You revealed the lower cabinet’s stash of hot chocolate dramatically, gaining a laugh out of Jerome as you giggled yourself.  

Once you calmed down a bit, you sat on the floor, letting your wings fall beside you, and Jerome sat next to you, careful not to step on, or sit on your wings. The two of you sat in silence for a few seconds just smiling and chuckling to yourselves. After a bit, you broke the silence.  

“Can I say something? Something that might be very offensive?” You ask hesitantly, worried about what you wanted to say. 

“Sure. As Long as I get to ask you a question in response.” He smirked a little before turning to look at you expectantly.  

“Alright. Ill give you that.” You smiled at him before continuing on. “Here we go… For someone who’s mother was murdered a few hours ago, you don’t seem very distraught.” You took a second to realize just how terrible that sounded out loud, and rushed to fix your mistake. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to be that rude! I’m so stupid! Everyone has their own ways of coping with loss. How could I possibly be so-”  

“Don’t worry.” Jerome’s short sentence cut off your rambling, which took you by surprise. That and you were honestly confused by his answer.  “I don’t mind. Don’t tell anyone else, but I’m almost glad she’s gone.” 

You were surprised to say the least, but then again, you knew that not everyone has a happy family.  

“Do you mind me asking why?” You were almost scared for his response. Suddenly, Jerome’s face grew dark, and it was like you were looking st a completely different person.  

“Oh, she just nagged, and fucked around, and nagged some more, and then beat me within an inch of my life. With her ‘partners’. Multiple. Times.” By the end of his explanation each word was its own sentence. He was fuming. Meanwhile, your heart broke for him. Subconsciously, you laid a wing on his lap in some attempt of comfort.  

“I’m so sorry.” You barely whispered, staring at nothing in particular as you began to lose yourself in thought.  

You didn’t notice it, but Jerome looked at you. He couldn’t put an emotion to how he looked at you, but he just watched as you laid one of your beautiful wings on his lap. Strangely enough, it actually made him feel better, which was something completely unexpected.  

After a few moment’s silence you looked to Jerome who was staring at your wing, but you felt like he was lost in his thoughts as well. Deciding to break the silence, you spoke up with a quiet, almost comforting voice.  

“What was it that you wanted to ask me?”  

It was as if you had pulled him from his thoughts. He blinked a few times before asking you what you had said. 

“I’m curious about what it was that you wanted to ask me.” You repeated softly. “Oh. I was just wondering about your wings.” He asked like he had just remembered something that was on the tip of his tongue. The darkness had left his face and he looked like the same ginger he was when you met him.  

You huffed a bit of a laugh.  

“Well, what about them?” You questioned.  

“Everything I guess. How you got ‘em. Why they’re red. Why there are four of them.” He started to ramble off.  

“Well, as far as I know, I was born with them.” You began, looking down to the wing that was still on Jerome’s lap. “I’ve had them for as long as I can remember, and they’ve always been this color. Except dad always said that they were pink for the first few months of my life. I’ve always had the four, and they’ve never let me down.” You explain with a sense of pride. You liked it when someone took an interest in your wings.  

“They’re fascinating.” Jerome stated, gingerly reaching a hand out to touch your wing.  

When you saw what he was doing, you quickly pulled your wing back, and he looked at you with confusion in his eyes and furrowed brow.   

“Sorry. I’m….hesitant when it comes to letting people touch my wings.  

“Do you mind me asking why?” He was curious.  

“It’s a long story… well, not long. Just…painful.” You respond, looking down at your wings and pulling them closer to you.  

“Alright then. I won’t push you.”  

After a minute or two of silence, just stewing in your thoughts, you announced that you were going to head to bed, and Jerome followed suit.

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: Joker’s Favor

“She can't open the door and push it in all by herself! THINK!”

Batman the Animated Series. Teaching the dangers of road rage since 1992!

Episode: 22 Robin: No Writer: Paul Dini Director: Boyd Kirkland Animator: Dong Yang Airdate: September 11, 1992 Grade: B

Char’s main reaction to seeing this episode for the first time was, “My girl!!” She loves Harley (and Poison Ivy). For me too, it’s nice to finally introduce Harley Quinn to the DC Animated Universe. Of course, back when this episode initially aired, it was also her introduction to the world of comic books in general. Written to be a one-off henchwoman to the Joker, wow, who would have seen the massive Harley Quinn storm coming. I was working at Party City when Suicide Squad came out, and by far the most popular costume we sold to young girls and women alike was Harley Quinn. People who know nothing about Batman are at least a little familiar with her. Sometimes even more familiar with her than the Dark Knight himself. And good lord, have fun trying to buy a copy of Batman Adventures #12 for a decent price. Even reprints can cost you around 100 bucks. You know how annoying that is for someone who just wants to own a physical copy of the damn thing to read?

I can only assume that Suicide Squad was the major catapult for the hype surrounding the character. I don’t remember seeing her around nearly as much before. Although I’m sure the Arkham series helped a little bit too. And I won’t lie to you, I’m a little salty about it. Oh, believe me, it’s definitely petty “nerd rage”. Or maybe you could call it the “hipster effect”. What annoys us about liking something for so long, and then, much later, finding out that it suddenly blows up with admiration? It’s stupid, this should make us happy, right? But yes, to let the cat out of the bag, I really do love Harley Quinn’s character. At least, the DCAU version of her. I’ve never seen Suicide Squad, I’ve never read any of her comics outside of the DCAU tie-ins, and I’ve never seen any episodes of other Batman cartoons with her in it. Doesn’t particularly interest me (not that I’m directly opposed). But I know that in the DCAU she’s really interesting, she’s a lot of fun, and some of the best moments of the entire series involve her heavily. The Laughing Fish, from what I remember, is up there among my favorite episodes. And how about the flashback in ROTJ? That’s one of the best Batman stories ever told, period. She’s not my favorite villain by any means, but the show would definitely be missing something without her. Speaking of her roles in the DCAU, maybe that’s where that “hipster effect” comes from. Maybe we get salty when people are oblivious toward a character’s…or a band’s…or a show’s…or whatever’s…early days. Yeah, that’s gotta be it, right? When Pokémon Go was new, I saw people complaining because these kids hadn’t played the original Red and Blue versions. And no one would ever really get annoyed if an old album by Blink-182 suddenly spiked in sales. No, it’s only when someone discovers new stuff and isn’t familiar with anything before that. I’m not saying this behavior is rational, and I hate it whenever I feel this way (for the record, I defended those kids just getting into Pokémon through Pokémon Go who were being shit on by “gen-wunners”). But it’s a possible explanation. Maybe we feel that people are missing out or not putting in the effort to fully appreciate/respect a thing and why it is the way it is.

Even though Harley Quinn was an amazing addition to the series, she didn’t exactly start out that way. Ignoring her popularity, she doesn’t particularly stand out in this episode, at least, not to me. But she must have back then. Fans liked her so much, she started appearing in the Batman Adventures comics! But I won’t start complaining about Batman Adventures #12 again. At least, not yet… Of course, where this is the first Harley episode, it figures as such that Paul Dini is the writer. This episode shows us again that he knows how to write a great story to be taken seriously, but also knows how to inject a lot of fun into it. That seems to be what separates Dini from some of the other best writers. A lot of the most serious episodes are really damn serious, with virtually no fun to be had. But Dini throws in some cheeky bits. Harley, for example. Or Batman coming down with a cold in Heart of Ice. It’s certainly welcome, but honestly, I prefer episodes like Two-Face a little bit more. And that’s why I’ve settled on a B for this episode. Yeah, I know. Everyone raises this episode up on a pedestal and says how much of a classic it is. I won’t argue with y’all. It’s an important episode, and it is entertaining. But it’s not as entertaining as a lot of other episodes to me. I like it. I don’t love it. Sue me. Char actually felt the same way, so I’m not alone there. She loved the Joker, as usual, and loved seeing “her gurl” Harley, but as far as the actual episode goes, she only liked it. Strangely enough, I have virtually no complaints. For the most part it’s pretty flawless, unless I really want to nitpick at stupid shit (like when Joker points out Charlie’s hair-loss when he has the same amount of hair as earlier). Probably the only thing that actually made me scratch my head was during the scene where Charlie threatens Joker with one of his own bombs. Why did Charlie know it wouldn’t explode, but the Joker himself didn’t? The only thing I can really think of is that Batman was in on the joke, and rewired the thing. But that doesn’t sit too well with me either. Oh, and also the scenes involving the fight amongst the recreated temple was a little hokey, and didn’t match a lot of the flow. It was too random-seeming, plus the idea that all of these death traps would remain active is ludicrous. We do get the Joker at some of his best, though, and we even hear Batman laugh in-costume (a first for this series). If there’s one thing Batman shouldn’t do often, it’s use the bat-laugh. And the writers knew when to use it well. Just wait till Mad Love. As long as they don’t have Batman sing… I will now turn my head toward my Justice League Unlimited set and stare at it with a dead smile for a few seconds.

And what about the crime prince of clown himself? I think we get the most insight into his mind out of all the Joker episodes so far in this one. The first two Joker appearances were just sorta goofy romps that you would expect, and the next one (Be a Clown) was an episode of lesser entertainment value. Here, we take the best elements of the Be a Clown Joker and fuse it with the Joker we got more from the other episodes to create what I would consider to be the definitive DCAU Joker. Let’s go over it. Y’know those maniacs who chase you down the street just because you made the tiniest mistake while driving (sometimes it might even be more their fault than yours)? Well imagine if when they caught up to you, you saw that they were a psychotic, killing clown. That’s fun… After this happens to Charlie Collins, the Joker threatens to kill him, but ends up sparing him so that over the next two years, he can have a fun time of basically tracking, stalking, and keeping up with this man. I like this because, on one hand, it seems so silly that he’d want to do this simply because of a traffic incident. Like, doesn’t he have better things to do with this time? But also, the Joker knows that every day, Charlie lives in fear that the Joker will find and contact him. It’s the manipulative aspect that we saw in Be a Clown coming out. The Joker takes pleasure in ruining lives. We also have the whacky side of the Joker seen in The Last Laugh with how ridiculous the concept is. Going back to the hair-loss comment mention earlier in passing, I actually think it would have been really clever to start him out with a full head of hair, but then show him super bald later on, showing that the stress of it all had really taken a toll on him, despite his seemingly great life.

Well, then, the Joker has Charlie fly over to Gotham just to open a door for Harley. Yeah. Open a door. I friggin’ love this twist. He’s like an Alice In Wonderland character, having seemingly no rhyme or reason for anything, but you know it all somehow makes sense in his twisted head. We know this because of what he manages to pull off, and how dangerous he is. If he truly knew nothing, he wouldn’t escape Arkham time and time again or get away with nearly as much as he does. And then finally at the end, we have some moments of scary Joker-rage paired with the Joker actually yelling to Batman for help. It’s such a sudden mood change, and you have to question whether or not the Joker’s anger was real. If it is, that makes it scarier. He’s like a meth-addict. We also see the Joker shove Harley Quinn to the side so that he can get to the phone, a very early look at the abusive relationship that we don’t see in full until later down the line. Like I said earlier, Harley was supposed to be a one-off, so this likely wasn’t Dini’s intent to display, but in hindsight, it’s got a much different light casted on it. It shows how much care was put into these stories, making everything match up, even if it wasn’t the initial plan.

This opening shot looked pretty stilted, reminding us that it’s essentially a cell being moved to the right.

Our main character, Charlie Collins. I wanna know what kind of fashion statement that haircut is. The “vertical rat tail”?

That moment of realization. Great job of capturing that immediate regret. It’s like he was brought back to reality, but sent into the Twilight Zone all at the same time.

The Joker knows how scary he is.

This shot was kinda funky with how bright some of the Joker’s features were. 

The Joker appears rather large when in comparison to the character who is supposed to be in front of him. This happens at least one other time in the episode. It adds to his threatening aura here, though.

“Oh please, don’t insult me.” the Joke retorts when Charlie assumes that he’s being robbed of money. 

Been missing these guys! Haven’t seen enough of them!

Jim: “If anyone should be getting a testimonial it’s you!” Batman: “I’m just the nightshift. You deal with this mess 24 hours a day. That’s what those people want to honor.” The most endearing friendship on the show. He even then proceeds to ask Batman where he can rent a tux. 

The Joker playing darts backwards. Throwing them at the commissioner. 

Harley Quinn’s first appearance ever! Bruce Timm did an excellent job with her design. Also, another instance of Joker looking rather large. Apparently perspective isn’t Dong Yang’s strong suit.

And then the Joker proceeds to do a perfect backflip. Damn, he’s limber!

Me too, dude. Also the Joker was throwing darts right above this guy’s head.

Somehow a better license picture than any I’ve ever gotten. Also we have confirmation that, in the DCAU at least, Gotham City is in New York.

“Leave the sideburns.”

An unsettling shot as they circle around Don’s (Charlie’s) block, threatening his family.

“Any way I could sneak out with you?” Me too, dude. Lines like this add so much character that gimmicks or statements about them could never reach.

“Sir, I believe you may be needed inside.”

Bullock hitting on Harley. How does he look like even more of a sleaze when spiffed up for an event?

Montoya’s look of pleasure when Bullock gets whacked in the shin by Harley’s baton. Also, them cheekbones. 

“...okayyy, we’ll tough it out here.”

Joker’s sudden mood-swings combined with his delivery from Mark Hamill are obvious callbacks to the Blue Meanies in Yellow Submarine.

Charlie, about to shove a bomb up Joker’s ass. “Batman! Batmaaaaan!” Actually, y’know what this reminds me of?

This great moment.

Joker, relieved to see Batman. “<gasp> How long have you been there?” We also get, “You’re no fun anymore, Charlie.” If there’s one thing Joker can’t stand, it’s getting upstaged when it comes to the crazy.

A solid episode for sure, but for those of you who only know about Harley from her more recent shenanigans (and you don’t have a genuine interest in watching a Batman cartoon), check out The Laughing Fish instead. And for those of you following along with me for the long haul, join us next time! …Crikey!

Char’s grade: B

Next time: Vendetta Full episode list here!

[frasier-crane-style]

Elseworlds

Well, Tumblr isn’t dead yet and the CW-DC just did a big crossover, so I think it’s time to make fun of the CW........ for the last time.

Did you know Tim Allen actually ended Home Improvement after season 8 because he knew the show couldn’t maintain its level of quality and was on the way downhill? Tim Allen has more creative integrity than anyone involved in the making of Supernatural. Think about that.

Anyhoo, lots to digest! Largely, this crossover felt to me weirdly lackluster and obligatory, like the whole thing was just a trailer for the oncoming Crisis on Infinite Earths crossover. It just felt unambitious, which is the last thing an ‘event’ like this should feel like. In fact, it felt a little like I imagine the result would be of filming a bunch of people playing DC Universe Online. We visit Smallville and see Lois Lane! We go to Gotham and meet Batman...’s cousin, and fight a breakout at Arkham Asylum, complete with Mr. Freeze...’s gun and the Scarecrow...’s fear gas. Then, we wrap the whole thing up with an Evil Superman, because God knows, DC never gets bored of that.

-Petty nitpick department: Batwoman just standing around on rooftops looks weird. Not only does it give the odd impression that she’s spent the entire time between episodes just, uh, standing, but c’mon--you’re supposed to crouch. Or at least hunch. Everybody knows that!

-Weirdly missed opportunity to have Ollie do the Flash narration, considering all the other opening narrations are futzed with.

-The whole thing is pretty much a glorified body swap--Stephen Amell is playing Barry Allen and vice versa. I can see how TPTB would be too pressed for time to explain a whole ‘nother continuity where Barry Allen became Green Arrow and Oliver Queen became the Flash, but still, it’s not as much fun.

-They also wholeheartedly borrow the thing of Ollie having to be happy to use Barry’s powers and Barry having to be mad to use Ollie’s ‘powers’ from the episode of Teen Titans where Raven and Starfire switched bodies. So, I guess, congratulations on making the central plot point of your crossover the same as a half-hour episode of a children’s cartoon.

-Remember that time Barry was too happy and too confident in his abilities, so his dad died?  

-They got a good actress to play the Lois Lane to this Clark Kent, considering they both just look kinda awkward? His chin looks like he had a face transplant done and her nose looks like someone is constantly Photoshopping it.

NHHHA, He-Man!!

-Don’t do a callback to Smallville, show. Oliver Queen has now spent more time in costume as the Flash than Tom Welling did as Superman.

-Direct fucking hit when Oliver said that Barry couldn’t take a crap without getting a peptalk from his team, but on the other hand, Oliver can’t take a crap without Felicity wondering what it means for their relationship. “Oliver didn’t tell me he needed to go to the bathroom! Why wouldn’t he trust me?”

-I’m just saying, last season on Agents of SHIELD, pretty much every character was in a relationship--there was not so much damn drama. It’s a fucking body-swap plotline, guys. You don’t need to treat it like it could lead to someone’s divorce! Really, at this point, if you’re in a relationship with a crazy superhero, you should be used to it. 

-(Although I suppose I’m a little hard to please here, since over on Legends of Tomorrow they suddenly expect us to care about Constantine rescuing the love of his life when we’ve seen their relationship for all of four seconds. But hey, like I said, Agents of SHIELD manages a happy medium and finds time for Ghost Rider to show up.)

-For the post-apocalyptic hellscape they make Gotham out to be, the police respond awfully fast to disturbances.

-”We’re on the corner of Burton and Nolan!” Groooooan.

-Ruby Rose, everyone: the Less Convincing Michelle Rodriguez. It’d probably a bad sign for how compelling Kate Kane is as a character that everyone would rather talk about where Batman is and why Batman would leave. And, speaking as someone who both watched Birds of Prey and The Dark Knight Rises--Rocky, that ‘Batman Retires’ plot point never works!

-(Is Batwoman even that popular a character to get her own spin-off? I suppose she’s ‘TV show’ popular, but still--I think she’s one of those Batfamily members that is somewhere behind Alfred but ahead of Ace, right next to Azrael. And I do think it’s hilarious that TPTB were insistent on casting a real, authentic lesbian!!!--and then immediately got complaints that they didn’t cast a Jew. Oh, Ziggy, will you ever win?)

-I don’t want to be too hard on Ruby Rose here. Yes, she doesn’t showcase anything other than one mode: Snide And Slightly Pouty (Stephen Amell ain’t winning no Oscars, but he can differentiate between Ollie As A Civilian and Ollie In A Halloween Costume). But the writing does her no favors in making a case for this character as being deserving of any amount of screentime, besides the fact that she dresses like Batman, the guy we really care about. She’s a heroine, as are featured variously in every Arrowverse show. She’s queer, as is Alex Danvers, Sara Lance, John Constantine, et al. She’s rich to the point of having unlimited resources, as are (sometimes) Oliver Queen, Barry Allen, Kara through her billionaire friends. She lives in a crime-ridden hellhole, as Ollie has done for several seasons. What makes any of this compelling? The Gotham setting? Arrow has already turned itself into an effective facsimile of that, to the point of having Ra’s al Ghul show up to make Queen into his son-in-law. Arkham Asylum seems completely generic, as does Wayne Tower. It’s all just a different part of Vancouver; who cares?

-Likewise, Supergirl, speaking to you as a TV show--you really should either be adamant that Kara is heterosexual or give her a weirdly flirtatious scene with Batwoman, but not both. I know you need, need, need to let the audience know Batwoman is a lesbian...

Pictured: The CW subtly letting you know about a character’s minority status.

But c’mon. We’ve been over this.

-Speaking of minority status, maybe it’s not the best idea to let slip that John Diggle is an AU John Stewart. Yes, there’s ten brothas in the DC Universe, and four of them are actually the other six. There are so few Negros on Earth-1 that they had to make Barack Obama into a superhero. The Batfamily has two black folks and they’re both related to Lucius Fox. There’s so few black people in Metropolis that Black Lightning knows who his father is!

Folks, the DC Universe is so white, the Black Lanterns are all dead. The DC Universe is so white, they don’t even have black Kryptonite. The DC Universe is so white, even Black Condor is a honky. The DC Universe is so white, they don’t even need a Justice League of Africa, they just have a Batman of Africa! The DC Universe is so white, the blackest guy on the Justice League is a refrigerator with one-half of a brother’s face on top of it. The DC Universe is so white, they named the black woman on the Teen Titans after a bug that’s half yellow! Now Milestone, the Milestone Universe is black. It’s so black, Aquaman is the most powerful superhero there, because he’s the only one who can swim!

(-I’m planning on being chased off of Tumblr like Indiana Jones after he snags an ancient artifact.)

-Would it be that hard for them to go to Arkham and run into the Ventriloquist or Orca or someone memorable, so long as they have access to the Batman toy chest? We got, uhh, Lady Who Can Pick Up Gun and Psycho Pirate I Guess? Like I said, unambitious. Wouldn’t it be so much cooler if they got someone from Gotham to film just one little cameo? 

-Also, considering the sex scandal these shows have had, maybe it’s not the best idea to joke about their EPs being depraved maniacs? (Was Guggenheim the one who actually got MeToo’d? Because if so, Dude--Not Funny)

-The show had to character-shill Batwoman so hard that Ollie and Barry stopped being fear-gassed just to reiterate that she is too an interesting character in her own right! (If the characters have all heard of Batman, wouldn’t they have heard of Batwoman too if she’s been an active vigilante more recently?)

-But who cares about four unstoppable superheroes teaming up when we can find out how Felicity feels about her relationship? Just a thought--if you fight with your SO all the time about nearly everything, maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship. 

-Long story short, Doctor Destiny rewrites reality again to make Barry, Oliver, and Kara into supervillains in a world where he’s the hero. He also makes the other characters into pointless cameos, and weirdly gets criticized by Kara for... not giving himself a sex-change operation by becoming Superman instead of Supergirl? He doesn’t have gender dysphoria, Supergirl. I thought she was all about trans issues this season?

-Like, I don’t know, if a woman used a magic lamp to wish herself President, would anyone criticize her making herself a lady President instead of a man President?

-I guess it wouldn’t be Supergirl unless they crowbarred in an extremely awkward girlpower message where Superman and Lois agree that Supergirl/women in general are more useful than men, despite the fact that all Supergirl did was the exact same thing as Barry, while Superman and Oliver fought Dr. Destiny, and all Lois did was call in a bunch of men as reinforcements and then need to be rescued.

-But like I said about being unambitious--wouldn’t it be fun to see our heroes be forced to team up with a few supervillains to save the day? Instead, we just have Cisco playing a villain (something he’s done numerous times before). They get his help, have a weirdly poor showing in a fight against Jimmy Olsen, get Superman’s help again, yadda yadda. 

-We also get Superman proposing to Lois Lane. Yeah, considering they’ve been in a relationship at least since Supergirl Season 1, she’s carrying his child, and they’re planning to move to an alien world together, yeah, I should think so? I know Superman probably isn’t a Republican, but does anyone think he’d be so blase about putting a ring on it? Hell, if nothing else, he should want to tie the knot before Ma or Pa bite it. Couldn’t they have just made it that he wants to renew his vows with Lois in a Kryptonian ceremony or some such? 

[blackbatpurplecat]

Double Review

What’s up, kittybats? Feeling a bit down today so I’ll write something positive to lift my mood.

One comic book character has been talked about frequently over the past months and the stuff related to him was great: Spider-Man! A mind-blowing game AND a Golden Globe winning animated movie were dominating headlines (not to mention the trailer to the next Holland movie) and of course, I checked out everything. Here are my thoughts:

Spider-Man (PS4)

Several colleagues of mine had asked me what I thought of the game and all I could answer was “I don’t have a PS4. :( “ So after hearing them praise it to high heaven, I thought about it a few weeks (it’s a big purchase after all) and eventually went out and bought one. With the sole intention of playing Spidey. And then I didn’t touch that game for months (THE GAME I BOUGHT A FUCKING PS4 FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE) because I got addicted to getting Arthur Morgan to Tahiti! I am hopeless. (RDR2 is amazing btw. Let me know if you care about my thoughts on it.)

Short plot intro: Spidey finally captures Kingpin and the big guy goes to jail. His absence however creates a power vacuum which is promptly filled by a mysterious gang, the Demons. Now Peter has to find out what they want and who their leader is while he’s also struggling with being evicted from his apartment, not getting paid for his lab job, working with his ex, Mary-Jane, and watching his mentor and idol, Dr. Octavius, getting fucked over by Osborn. Lots on this little spider’s plate.

Anyway, I’ve finally finished the main story and can honestly say this game is so much fucking fun! First of all, it looks AWESOME! The graphics are so pretty, the Spidey-suits look fantastic, the moves and physics are perfect! You spend most of your time swinging around Manhattan but it just won’t get boring. I preferred the swinging and flying over the fast travel option, even when I had to cross the entire map.

I love everything about the voice-acting, the dialogues, the story. I wouldn’t say I’m a Spider-Man fan but this game made me wish I was one so I could appreciate every in-joke, every easter egg, and reference even more. Towards the ending, I even got teary-eyed because the writing knew exactly how to give you the feels.

You’ll find a couple of side missions as well. If you look at them objectively you could say they become repetitive as it’s mostly the same spiel dressed kinda differently each time but I didn’t care. I enjoyed them all! Well, except for the pigeon one... Still haven’t caught them all. I hate those fucking birds...

So now I’m working through the three DLCs. Halfway through the one with Black Cat at the moment. She looks great but I wish I could cut those loose strands on the sides of her face. By the way, the human faces are quite well animated. I couldn’t help but compare them to Arkham Knight’s human faces. Characters in AK looked stiff and dead while S-M did it right, thank God.

To summarize, the Spider-Man game is definitely worth the money, it’s hours of fun entertainment and marvelous writing, and not only Spidey fans will enjoy it. It’s a lot like the Arkham games but polished and improved. HIGHLY recommend it!

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (animated film)

Another mind-blowing Spidey experience! WOW, all those styles! The music! The voice-acting! The feels! Holy cow, the feels!

So this Spidey story does not focus on our Peter Parker but the iconic black Spider-Man, Miles Morales. He’s a good-hearted teenager dealing with a lot of pressure coming from his parents and school. While he’s trying to figure out what to do with his life, he gets bitten by a radioactive spider and accidentally stumbles across Kingpin’s newest plan: building a particle accelerator underneath the city to access different dimensions. Suddenly, Miles is faced with great powers and great responsibilities as he’s helping a group of various Spider-people to get back to their universes.

This is how you make a comic book animated movie. This is it. I can’t imagine how you wanna top this.

You get introduced to every important character so you’re not forced to read up on them. You also get invested and attached quite quickly. The textures on the characters were so pretty, every face looked different (yes, even the female faces!), the animation is so smooth, agile, and fluid. Every dimension has its own style. There are tiny comic book details built in like speed lines or single words. Also the camera work was fantastic! We watched it in 3D, it was breathtaking on the big screen.

The story is simple and nothing new but executed very well. Bonus point: no forced love story. Nice! Each character had a real personality. And I absolutely loved the visual storytelling, especially when they explained Fisk’s background, that scene was powerful.

All I can say is that I adored this movie, I want to watch it again, I want it to win the Oscar for Best Animated Feature, and I want a sequel! Gimme more Spider-Gwen, gimme Spider-Woman, Silk, Sable, Black Cat! And more John Mulaney as Spider-Ham! XD