#or spread negative stigma or whatever.

[carnographix]

The one good thing to come out of me being in guro spaces a bit too young is that all my takes on fiction are incredibly real and based

[corpsegold]

hanging out in spaces where ppl discuss pwNPD etc and like. what their inner world is like, or just the channels of people who are out with it is so ............ ugh

Like I wanna hear from therapists/psychs/sufferers about it, not from all the people who are super jaded about narcs and want to spread negativity. People will be like "my ex is a demon. he is not even a person. all narcs should be forced into therapy, or put on an island together, or killed" like. wtf

the stigma is actly kind of insane. Ppl i know irl will repost things on fb or whatever like "this is how you kill a narcissist!" or "these are a narcissists weaknesses!" so you can apparently get back at them? and its just stuff like they're incredibly lonely, are ashamed of themselves, super sensitive to criticism. Like

Idk its really annoying . There are so many spaces for people who have been abused by alleged/potential narcs and those people come into spaces for the sufferers of the pd instead just to be like "i hope you all know that you're subhuman abusers and should all die"

like narcs clearly aren't allowed in abuse recovery spaces, but they're not allowed in npd recovery spaces either?

It feels like people really get off on being sadistic to pwNPD as well. I guess they're just really upset about their abusive mum or ex husband or whatever, and calling them a covert narc and understanding them as a non-human demon kind of makes it easier. Like not having sympathy for them makes things simpler. Black and white thinking is useful for abuse survivors ig?. But idk its just shit .. it looks like its just a way for people to feel allowed to be horrible, and to engage in us vs them nonsense

there's so many misconceptions as well. There's this huge tiktok trend where people are like ""oh yeah, narcissists eyes go black when you insult them, and that's how you can sus them out!" kinda gross

wish I never told anyone i think. ig its just the kind of thing you're not allowed to talk about?

[valleyfthdolls]

What about the clubs? Not every character in them, but the groups as a whole

Hang on lemme google the clubs again

Cooking club: The cooking club gets extra credit for their involvement. They’re kind of exclusive: kids with bad reputations are not allowed in their club. They’re otherwise the same- pretty tight knit, very positive, and they have a lot of respect for Amai.

Drama club: Only describes the students who engage in the drama program year round and not just during show season. Some of the members are very hardcore and look down on people who won’t engage year round (such as Kizana and, to a lesser extent, Tsuzuro). As of 2019 (when my rewrite takes place), they are performing Yotsuya Kaidan, one of the most influential Japanese ghost stories of all time. They’re not very close- in fact, they tend to be quite competitive, even though they do bond during production.

Occult club: A religious group with a focus on spiritualism. Believes the school is haunted or at least has some kind of a negative energy. (They are right.) Most of the occult club has decent reputations, but due to the stigma around their religious practices, they aren’t fully trusted. They’re quite tight-knit, and a bit like a coven of witches.

Art club: The art club has a pretty good reputation among the school because their art is used for the clubs and programs at school’s promotional posters, which livens the atmosphere of the school. It’s fun by Shoku (cooking club temp leader)’s little sister Geiju, who has presented masc/androgynous for enough of his life that people have kind of forgotten he’s a girl (butch he/him lesbian). Geiju is a little weird, but he’s well liked anyway. He has no reservations against having disliked students in his club, unless they show a disrespect for art.

Light music club: Well, if Miyuji’s bandmates don’t like you, you’re not getting in, but even if you’ve never looked at a musical instrument in your life, Miyuji has no reservations about letting people in. She has a sort of “the more, the merrier” view of it. The band as it is is pretty close, but they’re also very welcoming and will take new members under their wing without a fuss. They get on well with some of the other alt kids at school (like the gyarus- especially Hoshiko, who’s rokku gyaru- and the occult club). If Miyuji doesn’t like you, word will spread among the other alt students.

Martial arts club: It’s kind of the same, but Masato (Budo, club leader) had more of a complex about having to be a teacher to everyone. This is what drove Emiri (Raibaru) away from the club: when she stepped down as leader, she was planning to stay, but it strained her relationship with Masato because he suddenly felt totally responsible for her. Generally respected.

Photography club: Mostly photographs scenery. Will photograph whatever people want for a price. Frequently commissioned by info-chan, despite her also finding them a massive nuisance. They find it necessary to find proof of every rumor. From a gameplay standpoint, they would be an easy way to bully a student- gossip to them and let them find the proof.

Science club: The roomba is their pet. They named it wan-chan (essentially they call it “doggy”). They’re less deranged mad scientists and more a group of total nerds. Mostly computer scientists. Yaku is either a TV head kid with a working screen or a protogen furry. Either way I think he made the screen himself and he’s not allowed to wear either to school so he settles for that visor.

Sports club: Don’t care about these people. To be frank I always forget they exist.

Gardening club: Uekiya is kind to everyone, but I figure she’d probably also not allow club members with bad reputations.

Gaming club: Also a bunch of massive nerds. Actually an e-sports team and compete nationwide. They’re also pretty competitive, but in a friendly way. That being said, they’re not really close, and new members fit in about as well as anyone else.

Delinquents: Were bullied in middle school and adopted the delinquent persona to protect themselves, but they are an outright criminal gang. In the game, Sakyu says that they protect bullied students, but not only do we never see this, they actually do the opposite: they physically harass and assault classmates for getting too close to them, berate and insult everyone who passes by, and when Ayano tries to become their friend, they assume it’s because she’s being bullied and needs help, and they ridicule her for it. I would lean into this: the delinquents became your stereotypical boy bullies to protect themselves against bullying. The bullying thing is something I’ll get into in a sec.

Student council: An entirely formal relationship. They’re very hard on new members.

Gyarus: A group of social but highly defensive and combative girls. All of them having been bullied for their styles (as well as Kashiko for being half black, Hoshiko for her weight, and Kokoro for being trans), they’re quick to become defensive against others. They’re VERY tight knit and bordering on a polyamorous relationship of some kind. It would take a lot to fully fit in with them. They beef a lot with the delinquents.

Clubless students: Hosho, Hazuki and Otohiko (Horuda, Hazu and Otohiko) stick together mostly because they’re all really shy and bullied students. Hosho hangs around the art club, but is too shy to draw, Hazuki likes sewing, but the only other seamstress in school is Ayano, and Otohiko I feel likes crossword puzzles a lot which is a very niche thing to like. All of them are very forgiving of students with bad reputations- Otohiko has a reputation as an easy target, Hosho as a freak and a creep, and Hazuki as an unsocialized weirdo. Toga and Kyuji are not really friends with them, but they’re all kinda at the same spot in life, so there’s some solidarity there. Kyuji and Toga are kinda close, though.

The rainbow kids: they’re there! In my rewrite :) Yui and Haruto are lowkey bullies.

As for the bullying thing, I think it’s been mentioned that in the main game, there’s supposed to be 5 levels of bullying so here’s what I imagine that like. Most groups engage in the bullying, all feeling justified in doing so. Content warning for increasingly more traumatic bullying.

Level 1: Students start gossiping. The gyarus will cut the victim off if they were friends and the delinquents will become more aggressive. The photography club will look for proof that the rumors are true. Domino effects will begin among friend groups- one student dislikes the victim, which makes their friends dislike them, which makes their friends dislike them. The victim will be removed, if applicable, from the gardening or cooking club.

Level 2: The victim will be removed from any clubs. They will begin getting pranked and having their belongings stolen. Notes will be left in their locker.

Level 3: Bullies will begin interacting with the victim physically: classmates will push them out of the way and trip them, delinquents will threaten them, etc. They will begin to write on their desk.

Level 4: Bullying turns physical. Delinquents will beat the victim if they see them.

Level 5: At this point, the victim will withdraw from school or worse.

[lesbian-gnf-archive]

Hi I have a bit of an observation about like boobers/inniters/ Wilbur fans (?) etc. vs like dteam and mostly Dream fans

When dream smp was in its infancy most fanbase were pretty decent to each other and had A LOT more overlap than it has now and I think as Dream got larger and more controversial things started popping up people left his fandom (which is fine no one is forcing anyone to stay) but when they left they stayed pretty hostile towards him? So that pattern continued and of course this was fueled with like L**ks (I don’t know what to censor I don’t want people to attack 😭) and having that stuff open on public platforms like twitter and tumblr so when he got into hot water again the people who didn’t like him and left from the previous controversy would swoop in and go “oh well here is his face or his address or his family and this bit of personal info that solidified our hate towards him or what we feel like is some just punishment” and it like went from people who really liked someone to people who were morbidly curious on personal information of a man who is pretty secretive about his personal life who they are mad or upset with and it like morphed into like parasocial but a negative one and of course January 2021 which I don’t even want to think about 😭 but those previous fans or even casual watchers who saw this and got turned off of Dream the next step away isn’t going to be people in his super close inner circle (or for most people) it’s going to be people who still make the content you like (aka minecraft) but who are slightly more removed like ranboo and Tommy bc ranboo is still new and has no controversies to his name and has kinda separated himself and Tommy would crack jokes about Dream being evil and bad (which were mostly mocking his own fans or making jokes about his dmsp character) but his fans took it as the Bible . So now here we are 2023 groups of people who used to be fans of or okay with Dream who got essentially indoctrinated into this negative parasocial relationship bc they know everything about Dream more than he’s probably aware is publicly abalone on social media they know what Dream is doing they are in his replies before fans are they are in his private they watch entire streams of his just to find ANYTHING to pick out to harass or to prove this narrative that Dream is the devil. Because listen you’re allowed to not like someone for whatever reason you want to truly and Dream has made mistakes and people don’t accept his apologies I get it totally cool and he’s not the only internet creator who gets dunked on with jokes I get it it’s the status quo. But what’s not cool or normal is this weird like obsessive hate and like searching and spreading doxxed information about someone and having their notification on or following their fans and harassing them and I see a lot of inniters and boobers and previous Dream fans who move over to them do it A LOT. Which leads me to my theory that all those “crazy dream Stans “ everyone talks about and that created this stigma around his fan base starting in 2020 those fans still exist but they aren’t Dream stans anymore they are boobers and inniters. Alright thanks for reading my Ted talk 🫡 feel free to not actually post this bc it could stir up issues but I’ve had this thought for a while I hope it makes sense

This is very well written anogie

[serial-doubters-club]

Everyone has a right to their opinion. But that does not make it ok to label a program as AI (as if it doesn't already carry a negative stigma). It's nowhere even near that.

I'm not saying anyone has to like it or even use it. You and anyone else are free to do whatever you want. Nor do I look down on or criticize people who decide not to be a part of what it does.

But before anyone spreads misinformation about it, at least direct your questions and complaints respectfully to the individual who created it. We're all adults here, come on now.

Tumblr user inukag-on-ao3 really out there doing the Lord's work.

[qutocorrect]

(Please know that this is a Positive Post, However Some possibly triggering Things will be Mentioned, such as: Psychological Abuse, Physical Abuse, Se|f Harm, Su¡cide, Se×ual Mentions, A|cohol and Unhealthy Ways of Coping)

I don't have any Disorders that have any Stigmas that relate to being abusive. However one of my closest friends do have disorders that could be seen as a (quote un quote) "Abusive Disorder", As for not Spreading real Names, I'll Call this Person Jane, and in the Past she has psychologically Damaged many people (Plus Myself) I avoided her for around 3 Years, because I wasn't Able to Handle her. However, I still hung out with some People that did Still talk to this Friend during those years. And they'd tell me how Jane would do a lot of Crazy Things like Break into her Family's Alcohol Stash and Drink a shitton of it, as well as have Se× with people she didn't know 100% well.

Well, once I was Mentally Stable enough to Handle Jane, We began talking again. And she began trying shit she did in the past. But I didn't let her. I would never be mean about it. She would Punch me with a Crapton of Force when I said something she found "Comedically Stupid" (like an Innuendo or general Dumbass Childish Humor) and I told her to stop On multiple occasions politely, and one day I grabbed her wrist as she hit me and I looked her in the eyes and told her if she didn't stop, then she May as well not come sit with us anymore. I didn't yell or hit her back, I felt like a Mom who got sick if her kid being a Brat and scolded her kid for being a brat. And she got pissy or whatever, but after a Few days of her Trying to Avoid me she sat with me on the Bus and we talked about many things, and She straight up told me that even though She acted Pissed she was actually Terrified because That was the First time any of her Friends physically Restrained her instead of Letting her get away with it, or getting Physically/Verbally Violent with her.

After that Incident, We hung out more often and I realized she would do certain things because she craved any form of attention, And since she would only get attention through aggressive ways and se×ual ways that's what she would do to not be Left behind. I decided that if I really care about Jane as much as I say I do. Then I want to help her get Healthy. So I began to attempt deterring her attempts of trying to get Negative attention, if I could tell she was trying to start Drama I would say "Okay. I'm not going to Argue Back, Instead I am going to let you calm down. Feel free to let me know if You've calmed down aite?" And I'll do Just that. Recently I've noticed her stirring up Less Drama. Which is something Crazy because She's been known for starting Drama that's unneeded with anyone. And We have "play arguments" for example I'll tease her for being Short and she will Jokingly call me a tall Goblin or something. I've also straight up told her (and all my other friends) that if I am doing something that upsets them To tell me asap, because I would rather be hurt for a Few moments than have Them Hurt for so long. For example, Jane disliked it when I teased her about having a Crush on someone so I since then have been holding myself Back from those Jokes. It's been over a Year since we Began talking again. And Honestly, This is Probably the Happiest I have ever seen Jane, We're both entering our Senior Year (12th Grade) and we've known each other since 5th Grade, What I wanted to spread here is, while certain disorders can cause "abusive Behavior" in most cases it's for a Reason, in Jane's Case it was because she was wanting to be included, noticed, and accepted. But because negativity gave her something similar to what she wanted, she Became something she Didn't enjoy being. And when she was given a Chance to change she Took it. That being said, Not everyone wants to change. And if that is the case so be it. And if you feel you Can't handle befriending someone like this, Don't feel obligated to. I put it like this, If your Legs are Broken To the point you can't walk, You can't save someone Drowning.

[evilkitten3]

Hey! Ik it’s not anyones job to educate people and what not, but I’m genuinely wondering if you have any sources that are actually good that talk about NPD? See, I’ve grown up in a household with a mother who r e a l l y likes to say people are narcissists, as in not just the “god you’re such a narcissist” derogatory thing that folks do off the cuff unfortunately, but as in the genuine personality sense. She constantly lists off all these traits (which fun fact aside from a handful that are pretty coverall negative traits literally anyone could have I never have seen myself) so I genuinely just… don’t know what it’s supposed to mean and the times of tried looking into it the sources looked dubious at best and downright demonized the disorder at the worst. You seem very knowledgeable or at least positive towards it, so I was hoping you’d be able to point me in the right direction to make myself more educated on the matter. Thanks so much in advance, and in general for advocating so much for those groups that are so often stigmatized by others, it genuinely is something that means a lot

hm... off the top of my head, i can't think of any. but there are blogs geared towards supporting people with npd as well as blogs that spread information about it, and those very frequently have plenty of sources.

i wouldn't say i'm "very knowledgeable" about npd (or any cluster b pd), but i ended up learning a thing or two first when i started trying to find ways to help me understand and explain my own low empathy, which led to me stumbling upon the wiki page for aspd. i was a teenager at the time, i believe, and i'm fairly oblivious by nature (self-centered is probably a more accurate word to use, but only removed of negative connotations towards poor behavior - things about other people just. don't really occur to me. my therapist says i need to be more curious about people, and she's probably right).

but anyway, i ended up trying to learn more about cluster b pds and eventually came to learn about the stigma towards them (you'd think i would've been aware of that sooner, given how often those terms are used as insults, but again– kinda oblivious). i ended up making a few connections in my head (my version of "putting myself in their shoes", i guess - i can't really work out other people's feelings all that well, but if i replace whatever is being demonized with something i have (usually autism, since that's what makes the most sense to me), i can more or less figure out if Hey That's Bad or whatever), and ultimately the Autistic Moral Stubbornness Button was pushed.

my mom also does stuff like that, though to a significantly smaller degree than yours, but she's also pretty much accepted that i'm going to be anal about it whenever she does. not that she thinks people with cluster b are evil or whatever - she's just sorta like. "well this word predates the diagnosis, so it's not fair to tell people to stop using it". which i get in principle, but like if it's hurting people then i don't give two shits about whether it's fair or not. person > word

anyway, tldr: there's definitely blogs dedicated to spreading info (do NOT get all your info just from things tumblr users say tho - not about this specifically; in general don't do that), and many of them interact with and reblog from each other, so it's not hard to find more once you've found one. my go-to blog whenever i need to reblog npd positivity is @npdsafe, and i've found a few other good ones from following its blog.

edit: oh yeah and NEVER WORRY ABOUT ASKING ME THINGS! if i'm not comfortable giving a question or being asked something specifically, i'll just say so. it's not my job to educate, true, and i can't promise to be able to answer everything, but i firmly encourage everyone to ask me whatever they want.

[system-of-a-feather]

Have you considered that the whole Super straight/bi/lesbian/gay thing came about specifically because y'all are so quick to call people transphobic? I don't understand why supporters of trans rights are so interested in whether or not people are willing to date trans people.

Like, if that's your biggest problem, you're doing well. Genuinely, what is this oppression trans ppl face if the biggest concern is getting a date? And if someone doesn't want to date a trans person, why, WHY would y'all wanna pressure them into it? What does that do for you? Isn't it dangerous for the trans person to pursue the issue once they've been turned down? Why are you encouraging them to be in a place of danger? Who cares if some people don't want to date trans people? If they're as oppressed as y'all say, that is literally the least of their concern.

I absolutely fully agree with that. It absolutely isn’t an okay thing to do and people aren’t transphobic for not wanting to date or be with a trans person. I have absolutely nothing against that.

What *does* bother me is how people go about using the “trans people are mad that we won’t date them” to straw man that most people that say that follow it up with saying “trans men aren’t real men” or combine it with “I only want to date real and natural men” which is inherently transphobic.

I fully support anyone who is just not interested in dating trans people. That’s fine, and I really don’t care. We are a blog of people who have been traumatized, abused, and sexually abused and forced upon. We would never put that upon anyone else. Our blog is first and foremost about trauma and consent and harassments is absolute big “N-O”s for us

If the majority of the people who said they didn’t want to date trans people didn’t start using “real” women and men lines, then I would have no issue with being “super straight” or “super lesbian”.

Similarly to you assuming everyone who is against it cares about if you can get a date or not and is upset about it, we are forced to assume everyone who thinks it is about that is going to use and talk like a transphobe / TERF and de-legitimize their gender identity. Most of the shit talking and memes in the Super Straight tags are dissing “new” gender labels like nonbinary or whatever and trans identities and all that, so don’t act as if this is all about predatory trans behavior and not about people being disgustingly transphobic.

If your tag and movement was solely about addressing toxic behavior in the trans community that is predatory, I would be standing with you and in support, but instead a large majority of the people in your “movement” take it as an opportunity to diss, disrespect, and let blatant transphobic / TERF rhetoric spew disgustingly on your floor and I just can’t stand for that.

As for the Trans community, our largest issue **isnt** getting a fucking date. It has never fucking been getting a date and if you really think that is the largest issue, god are you blind and deaf. 

I think the largest issue would be the overall stigma hatred and disgust many people in society hold towards people who are trans. There are also all the people who regularly threaten violence and state that they would kick the head in of anyone who they saw if they were trans or saw “a man in a dress.” There are people thinking people who are trans are secretly just pedophiles that want to fondle children. There are people who murder people for being trans. There are people who just regularly bully and make fun of people or completely cut ties with people because they are trans. There are people assaulting - physically and sexually - people who are trans just for being trans.

“In 2009, 17 percent of all reported violent hate crimes against LGBTQ people were directed against those who identified themselves as transgender, with most (11 percent of all hate crimes) identifying as transgender women.8 The remainder identified as transgender men, genderqueer, gender questioning, or intersex.” - x

“People may assume that being visibly transgender or having a transgender history is a direct cause of sexual assault. There is some truth to this: A number of murders of transgender people (particularly transgender women of color) have taken place when new sexual partners "discover" their sexual partners were assigned male at birth and/or have a penis. “ - x

I promise you, almost any of the bigotry and exclusion that people who are lesbian, bi, and/or gay experience, people who are trans also experience, but they also get it from people who are lesbian, bi, and gay.

If you want to have a discussion about the predatory nature of some people who use being trans as a means to attack and pressure people into sex or a relationship, we would be more than glad to sit down and talk about that. It is a huge problem and a disgusting one. 

If you are trans and you get rejected and then use your trans identity to try to pity and victim cry yourself a date or sex, then you are scum and worse than any transphobe out there. You don’t deserve to look at this blog or group yourself with us. Don’t be a fucking predator.

If you are one of those people, lick my boot and cry because fuck you. 

I’m not against “supers” because I think they have a right to your body. I’m against “supers” because they parade behind “I don’t like the predatory behavior!!” to be transphobic.

I understand that if some of your have been pressured into shit like this, it might be a trauma response and I understand that. I’m not actually mad at you for that because I very much understand how that works. We have been there before and have generalized horribly, but please do know a large majority of the community is not just about sexuality and who they will date. We aren’t predators. We are just people and most of us just will handle rejection like a normal god damn person. Please don’t generalize us with abusers because of a negative experience you or someone you know might have experienced.

A lot of people who are trans are far more busy and concerned with how having to choose between who they actually are and living in a constant lie to themselves and others, and being their true self and risking to upturn their entire life, loose many acquaintances, and naturally have a target on your back if you aren’t living in an area that is considerably tolerant and even then its still a risk. I don’t know where you got that getting a date is the largest issue about being trans because it never was and never is.

Please, take some time to really try to listen to us and our experiences and please don’t immediately group all trans people in with abusive people. A lot of us really don’t care about getting in people’s pants and most of it is really just about trying to live and be ourselves.

I understand the experiences are horrible and anyone who puts that pressure is horrible, but don’t let that be an excuse to spread rhetoric and hate on a group that already has an insanely high suicide rate. 

People aren’t killing themselves because they aren’t getting dates. They are killing themselves because being trans is hard and insanely difficult. Dating someone is a speck of sand in a desert.

Please don’t use that straw man on us and please don’t use it to paint all trans people as bad and worthy of hate.

Thank you.

-Ray (Gatekeeper)

[letueriebeau]

Hi i don’t know much about that dr. I looked through her Instagram a bit but like all she did was talk about narcissists. Would you mind telling me about her?

I’d like to clarify that I suffer from npd (narcissistic personality disorder) so you can see why I find her posts and videos highly offensive. Like most people with NPD, it developed through the mix of genetics and environmental factors – primarily childhood abuse and neglect. Her videos, books, posts whatever are not backed by research but by ableism, stigma and bias. Sadly, a lot of articles on the disorder is a bunch of pseudo psychological bs…

What a lot of people don’t understand is npd is a rare disorder. She’s stating it’s on the rise! Which is absurd because as I stated above the disorder can only develop through genetics and particular environmental triggers.

She’s painting this picture that every bad relationship is abuse, that there is always a victim – who can’t do no wrong, and an abuser who’s apparently the devil incarnate 🙄. Not every relationship that falls apart was abusive, sometimes personalities just clash; there’s no need to develop a victim complex lol. And no, narc abuse doesn’t exist. Having a personality disorder does not make someone inherently abuse… everyone and anyone is capable of abuse, being selfish, lying and so on. A lot of lot of us narcissists are terrified of making mistakes or upsetting people we’re re close to. Being abusive would negate us from the much needed love and admiration we crave.

The misinformation she’s spreading has negative repercussions for narcissist because it actually prevents any further studies or aid to help people suffering from npd. Furthermore a lot of us get turned away from therapy or bullied by the people we thought would help us. My disorder is impacting my life immensely, I’d actually like to improve and learn to cope with negative symptoms.

Oh and she advocates for eugenics of people with personality disorders. If so called “professionals” were spreading this misinformation that autistic people are actual demons walking the earth, whose only purpose on the planet is to wreck havoc and abuse people… there’d be a massive uproar! Image everyone supporting the forced sterilisation of autistic people, I know I can’t.

So when you see her posts, just think: if this was towards any other disorder or mental illness like schizophrenia or autism, would I consider it discriminatory?

[endless-whump]

Character Bleed in Whump and Fiction; An essay

Hello whump community! I wanted to talk about something that I find to be extremely common and yet not much talked about, and that's character bleed!

 Character bleed can be found in a lot of different hobbies and media types, but where I hear it most referred to in (and where I personally know it from) is from LARP (Live Action RolePlay) (yes, I'm a nerd, move along).

It basically means when your emotions, stress, traits, etc. bleed from your character into you, or vise versa.  Now character bleed isn't always a bad thing.  It might just mean that you're in a good mood, so your portrayal of your character is the same.  Or it might mean your character cross stitches and so you start to learn it for funsies.

Where this crosses into harmful territory (and what most people are referring to when they talk about character bleed) is when negative emotions start bleeding.  After a particularly rough game with heavy emotional and drama centered rp/gameplay, it can leave players drained or even angry or upset, their characters emotions bleeding into their own.  

This is why aftercare for these types of things are really important.  Taking care of yourself, surrounding yourself with positive people, and getting yourself out of your characters headspace is crucial to keeping yourself mentally sound after an event like that.

You might be wondering how this has anything to do with whump

The exact same thing happens to writers, I’ve experienced it myself and seen others suffer from it as well.  A lot of times I find myself getting stuck in a really negative headspace because I didn't recognize my limits, and severely pushed them.  Maybe it was pushing through reading a really good fic I know kinda triggers me, maybe it was simply not knowing when to stop.  Maybe it was getting really invested in a fic going darker and darker, and I didn't recognize when I needed to pull the plug.  Maybe it was simply opening up whump when I was in a bad mood.  Maybe it was going really far with my character in rp and not wanting to say anything to anyone else because they're having fun.

Now, it's important to understand that this isn't anybody fault.  I’m not saying the authors shouldn't write such dark fics, or that its your fault for pushing yourself and not knowing when to stop, or that we need to write lighter stuff.

Thats not what I’m trying to say

What I’m trying to get across is that in a community where there's a lot of extremely heavy emotional turmoil and hurt, we need a lil (sometimes more than a lil) self care. 

Some people have the magical ability to read the darkest torture fic available and not get a single drop of character bleed, and damn do I envy those people, because I simply can't do that.  I read and write some pretty dark stuff, but I have a limit.  When writing, especially to vent, we often let ourselves get overwhelmed by everything.

This gets especially strong with whump writers/readers like myself who project as a whumpee.  I see it happen so often and yet so hardly recognized when a person gets burnt out because they pushed themselves past their limit.  When you're in a headspace where you project as a whumpee you're taking in those emotions of hurt, abuse, abandonment, trauma, hopelessness or whatever in particular your reading.  

I’m extremely hesitant to compare it to things in the kink community because of contributing to stigma (no shame to those who cross over in both communities, your lovely people and I love y'all, and I fall into that area myself) but it does have similar affect when it comes to burnout I described above.  You know how they always say that aftercare is extremely important after a session/whatever your doing? Because while the activity itself was fun and consensual and safe, there can be a huge avalanche of emotions that come tumbling down after? 

Thats exactly what I'm talking about.  I’ve seen so many people including myself get burnt out or negatively affected by whump, something that's so amazing, because we didn't take the proper measures to ensure we didn't crash hard afterwards,

In conclusion, I am not saying to write and read less whump, or that whump gets too dark.  I’m just begging you to take care of yourself.

Make yourself a cup of tea, maybe bookmark that fic for later if you're in a really weird headpsace.  If you're starting to feel really negative and not enjoying yourself when reading whump, don't keep pushing.  Switch tabs to something lighter or turn on a good show, listen to some music.  Go pet your animal companion, go text a friend, go look at some fanart.  

The whump community is one of the most friendly online communities I've ever had the pleasure of being in and interacting with, and I just wanted to spread awareness on something that can negatively impact our health and our work.

Thank you, and as always, stay safe <3

[marami-ko]

hello world!

where even to really start? i’ve had so many iterations of creative side projects and every time i restart, i try to reflect on those or try to introduce what i’m trying to do. but really, at this point, i just want to get started and say whatever.

i took some time off instagram this past month for a few reasons, but one of them was just me trying to figure out where i want to be (on the internet, if at all) and how i want to share myself and the things that inspire me, especially in relation to this dj-ing journey i’m on and all my other creative endeavors.

nothing really else felt right other than tumblr. which, in complete full honesty, i didn’t think i’d ever really end up back on here, not actively at least. i feel like no one really has time or attention for blogs anymore (which isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing). but the more thought i gave it, the more tumblr and a blog just made sense for what i want to do and how i want to engage.

for anyone reading this (and who isn’t active on tumblr), this website has somehow managed to become one of the most chill “social media” sites left on the internet. it probably still lives up to its pockets of old problematic stigmas (SJW’s, spreading of misinformation, idk whatever else) but it’s so much easier to stay away from all of that noise on here.

and from a logistical standpoint, i really appreciate how you can post up your own things but also re-blog other things from other people. i’ve always liked the idea that this site is just a collection of sharing things you like, all on one page. it could be a silly little meme, a thought provoking piece, artwork, a song. and it’s an exchange. not much is done on here for clout. you can be as anonymous or known and identified, active or passive, consistent or inconsistent, structured or unstructured, casual and silly or serious, thoughtful, and intentional as you’d like. there aren’t tons of algorithms doing heavy lifting to control what you see or what you engage with.

maybe it seems..arbitrary for me to bring these things up. or unnecessary to give this much depth of thought to any of this. i never really thought of myself giving in to a lot of that kind of pressure. i wasn’t so hooked on social media that i felt crippled by anxiety to post/perform or so dependent on it as a distraction. but i can’t say i wasn’t at least partially influenced by it.

and really that’s what bothered me most and why i needed to step away. and it helped me realize that if i use that platform, i have no choice but to be subjected to or to play by those rules. and i just hate the idea that any of that has an impact on my creative process, even in the slightest.

i’m still in a really weird in between. maybe i always will be. more and more, i’ve been learning how to enjoy the creative things i do on a deep, personal level but there’s of course, always the feeling of wanting to share things too—to connect with others through (our) art. and so I’m still trying to figure out that balance between. it might not help that what adds more to the complexity and nuance of that question, is that on a broader scale, i really feel we’re existing during an interesting time of what it means to be an artist or a creative and how we share anything we do. but that’s maybe just a whole other topic.

so…i said i wasn’t really going to do a reflection or intro but here i am. i always say this too, but all in all, i’m just excited to try again. i’m past the negative thought cycle that everything i’d done previously was a failure or that this might be yet another thing i don’t keep up. and that’s bc with all these attempts, this is the creative process. refining, discovering (or rediscovering), experimenting, exploring. so if i keep this up, then i’ll be glad! and if i don’t it’s okay and i can only look forward to whatever new mentality or perspective this will lead me to.

but most definitely feels good to be writing again. (and again, for anyone reading this, who has come to know me recently or anyone who is new and visiting, i’ve kept some kind of personal blog up since i was 13 and stopped around my mid 20’s for one reason or another.) and i’m also excited to share more, of my own work and other works that inspire me. (that’s another thing being on/coming back to tumblr all these years helped me realize. that as an artist, i’m just a culmination of all the things around me, the things i see and hear and read and touch and taste. but also the things i think and feel personally, and the thoughts and sentiments other share with me. actually, i could probably attribute a lot of my growth into the artist i am today bc of this website and all the variety of things it exposed me to!)

so yeah! i really feel like at this point, this blog will be a great platform to give the most full and complete, and hopefully most honest, representation of me and my creative journey. and already i feel a little bit more of a sense of joy rather than dread to share anything. i’d really like to think coming back to tumblr is, in my own way, a rejection of and counterpoint to the fast paced world we’re becoming used to. that i’m actively choosing to be more intentional and taking my time with things instead. so yee, just reeeeally looking forward to being here and doing the damn thing!

[sugar-petals]

Hey 😊 can you please do a deep personality reading about Lee taeyong from NCT. Thank you soo much for your time 😊😊

whenever deep personality is concerned, it’s time for the soul cards and animals deck.

his spread: THE CURSE + TURTLE SPIRIT

You can already tell, that’s a rocky one. Not a literal curse is meant, instead, this card indicates generational baggage. Taeyong’s family carries on a heavy and unforgiven burden through the times. Whatever it is, this impacts him day by day and shapes his personality from the very nucleus. You can see on the card that the person’s mouth is covered, the gaze is full of hurt and fear — there is an unspoken secret or past event. You most likely won’t hear about it from him so easily, there is shame involved. That baggage operates in the shadows, it is unclear and dark like the card’s coloring and patterns. And, with the TURTLE card involved, it really sticks around. For centuries. Taeyong has grown a patient, patient man. There’s no other way to deal with the problem, you have to move slowly and protect yourself: Hard shell, soft core. That is his ultimate essence. Look no further than that.

THE CURSE also indicates how karma manifests as an illness, it can be hereditary. Taeyong might be struggling with an ailment because of this age-old secret in his lineage. He tells himself the same negative story that his parents told themselves, and his grandparents did. And that state reflects in health, ultimately. Whatever strains his well-being has dragged his spirits down, but also makes him appreciate what he has, wanting to linger and play. We know that he’s cheerful, cute, shy, and grateful. Even if he might be somber deep inside which is what the left card points towards. Good news is, he could be the one that solves the curse. Once he acknowledges that secret, he can dissolve the burden. All that has been such a long and tedious journey, but now, indeed slow and steady wins the race. What a relief. He can float off, away from the problems, following the current of the water like the TURTLE. Time-tested, his character has grown adaptive, tremendously self-preserving, out of the ordinary, introverted, and deeply submerged in emotions (=water).

Whatever family trauma he has to shield off: It could be something war-related, it could be finances, abuse, a heavy relationship stigma or taboo from the past that preoccupies him and makes him act the way he does, and none of that mess is his fault. Because of this elephant in the room, that grave mistake committed, Taeyong feels as if he has to bring something to an end through his career. Big. Time. As his life purpose, he is definitely here because there is an old wound to mend and move on from completely. It takes great efforts and he regularly confronts his demons. Other people can pick up on it, Taeyong attracts haters because they sense something vulnerable, repressed (= the hand on the woman’s mouth) and martyr-like. He carries it. That makes him a very responsible and serene guy. He’s nowhere near as carefree as on variety shows, and the members saying that he’s diligent are very much dead-on. The upbeat and performance-savvy idol we see and adore shoulders an unspoken heavy cross. A lot of liability and tons of endurance developed from that. I can definitely see why he became the group leader. I think that he will eventually shake off the yoke and makes peace with history.

tarot mlist

[badbitchwhomeditates]

Who the fuck is this bitch?!

Read that again. 

The answer is complex, not simple, which is what complex means you dumb fuck ( beep language kiddo). Ok, lets try that again...

Bad Bitch Who Meditates, a 23 year old singer with dreams bigger than the world itself, which is both a good and a bad thing, we will get to the importance of duality later. Either way she´s been struck by lightning and pushed into a corner loads of times in an industry where you have to fight to be heard and seen through the smallest of cracks. And yes I might also speak about myself in third person a lot, simply because I'm practicing being the main character from all perspectives, telling my story but also making everyday feel like an adventurous movie ( therefore the narrator vibes help).

Complaining, complaning, victim mindset bla bla bla you might think, im not gonna bore you, you know that things can be quite shit and you’ve probably heard about the `struggling artist” and all of that before. 

 Lets spread some more negativity shall we ey? 

Maybe not that either, im just welcoming you in to my brain and my stream of consciousness on the journey of becoming or remaining? we shall see.

Im not gonna be here being all fairy lights and glitter in my eyes either, I am tho some days, but lately I’ve been bad, not a bitch cause I would never, slightly a bitch towards myself and I haven’t really done my meditation, its like the second I put down ” bad bitch who meditates, thats my slogan” in a song, I was like, cool its in a tune now so I’ve done the work I can relax. 

Nope, it doesn’t stop. 

Consistency in self care, healthy habits and your mental diet, the way you speak to yourself, it doesn’t stop. And its fkn annoying sometimes, especially when your chemical imbalance is so imbalanced that you don’t wanna get out of bed. Ive probably dealed with anxiety and depression since my debut on X-factor, oh yeah shit sorry, I have a name too, Im Awa and I won X-factor Sweden at 15 years old, completely changed my life like a marriage, for better or for worse. In that marriage I found myself, lost myself and now im kind of finding myself again...

Ok this is the part below where you get to knoooow me or something...

 I guess why I wanted to start blogging again is A) I need to hold myself accountable to remain consistent with my glow up, cause I can proudly say I’ve really done some amazing progress and inner work B) I need to continue doing that and find my healthy balance and not put too much pressure on myself, ya get me? C) maybe help take away the stigma regarding mental health, and I wanna focus on the solutions, thats my whole new life concept 10 % problems, 90 % solutions, like if we are discussing something thats the ratio. Cause how can we ever see a solution if we go slow dancing w the problem for ages? 

 I know it can feel fkn amazing and cozy, like when you’ve been in bed w someone thats clearly not good for your heartstrings but you stay there anyway because for right now it feels all warm and fuzzy. 

Oh silly girl, I mean forgiveness, forgiving other people and forgiving myself that is def something we are going to have to discuss as well, its one of the things I’ve tried to commit to this year. Ive come to the conclusion that its harder forgiving yourself after being too nice, theres only so much space on the scale for resentment, but you go to bed with you all the time and you beat yourself up on why you allowed that to happen? (Did that make any sense??) 

Again, another lesson, feedback that we can grow from. Mind management, one of my fav terms, mind over matter. Damn sure that can feel extremely provocative said in the wrong situation. Im gonna be honest on here, ill make an oath or whatever its called ( oh yeah im also Swedish so we will have communication problems here and there, but whatever, I call that acceptance) ill be honest, personal but not private cause I need to protect my energy. 

I would declare myself a self care queen but babe writing this, I just had a massive argument w my friend, that made me sad ( oh im a cry baby too, thats even the title of my EP lol), I hate conflict but im really trying so hard to stand up for myself and understand that my feelings are valid too and that uncomfortable situations are growing pains for our souls. I had my first panic attack in ages because this year is just shit and things that I’ve worked on for so long just crumbled down in front of me and I just felt like I was again taking two steps forward and one step back but at least we are moving. 

Im not all sad, I’ve rightfully so have had a few bad 72 hours I would say, I don’t like this time of the year that much.  But I know why, because I've been slacking w my routines, the ones we´ve carefully selected through trial and error inna real life and w my therapist ( she's real too but you get what im sayin) , it's ok not to be ok either but we have to put some kind of time limit on it so we don't sink into that deep hole again, i don't wanna go back there and I know what keeps me with my head above water and sometimes even frkn flying. We wanna stay consistent w the flying, that feels good, that's a goal now ok? Cause I used to fall into that trap of the deep hole until the pain of the known got far greater than the fear of the unknown. 

Im happy we are here today, because as I said 10/90, nothing last forever, good or bad, which is comforting. Things will get better and we hold so much more power in our minds and souls than we realize that ultimately will mirror how we experience life. So im going to be on here, at least once a week, my therapist tells me not to set up crazy goals that I know I might not do because then it will make me feel shit etc so once a week feels reasonable.

 Im open to suggestions about what we can chat about, ill share my 10/90, I want my clever friends to maybe drop a quote or blog here and there, Im good on camera, like vlogs or some shit. I probably wont bring you around all the time cause I don’t have the technological brain cells for that to be very honest with you. Maybe ill just come up with cute formats to the camera, thats a word you are going to hear a lot, ”format”, I have a concierge business w my friend Amy on the side of my music career called ” Pure Intuition”, basically we create events, formats and campaigns for brands and make them come true with the right profile etc and we create FORMATS, but if you missed it or if I was unclear Im a super cool singer signed to Columbia UK which was my childhood dream, so we are going to make Columbia our BITCH in 2021 hihi <3 <3. I studied economic entrepreneurship in college and im very business savvy, I love creating formats lol. Im slowly but surely building my fempire. What else, boys, I like boys, men, cute ” god spent some extra time on you”- looking boys, I mean men. I guess we will touch on that in the most anonymous manner, maybe ill just share some past flings cause you know, they’re in the past, passé. So yeah who the fuck is this bitch? you will find out alongside me, myself and I

get ready for the ride

love and light,

badbitchwhomeditates 

[cheermeupthankyou]

Brie Larson vs. The World: A Letter for Humanity

So I’d like to share and say hmmm in terms of adoration mm yeah Chris Evans what a husband material hubba hubba Chris Hemsworth funny dude even Taika Waititi oh Jodie Comer- in lesbians for her Armie Hammer Jake Gyllenhaal oofers eye candy Margaret Qualley mah babies Mackenzie Davis Wynonna Ryder and Kristen Stewart of course all them Marvel girls from A for Angelina Jolie Blanchett Danai Debicki Saldana Evangeline Karen Scarlett etc etc etc to Z for Zendaya Star Wars gang Daisy Felicity Oscar Lupita um yes please all the heroines we love Gal Gadot Amber Heard les cheveux roux madmoiselles Chastain Amy Adams the veterans Patricia Clarke Bullock Paulson Weaver Gillian Anderson Moore Lawless Mirren what goddesses they are even the young’uns newcomers Diana Silvers Billie Lourd Hunter Schafer such gems Thrones crew Gwendoline Emilia Lena Kit Sophie Maisie err pretty much everyone of them yes even the Night King give me the shivurs Aubrey Plaza Anna Kendrick Sarah Carter yas yas yas even some voice actors Ashly Burch Elizabeth Maxwell Hannah Telle j’adore Fab Five queers heck even politicians like AOC or Kamala Harris or Brian Sims gets me giddy wonderful wonderful insanely talented amazing great people.

But 

then 

there’s

Brie Larson. 

I was a music photographer and journalist for a while, I interviewed people and got the chance to meet some renowned humans (Feist, Au Revoir Simone, Kina Grannis, YYYs, Sean Lennon to name a few) it was my job to recognise their backgrounds and learn people’s personalities and identify situations.

While there are so much amazing people that I mentioned above who has done so many great things, I have never seen someone MOST relatable like Brie, so  humble and hardworking in the harsh -no privacy- industry of entertainment, who just bases her life out of goodness and excitement of life and purity. She’s like most of us, she’s awkward and shy, loves pets, video games, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Sailor Moon, fan girls towards other celebs, music nerd and an actual nerd, and just loving life in general. 

So it does break my heart that people are targeting her as the subject of everything that’s negative just because she wanted to set a stigma that women can be powerful and is their own person, and she’s had it rough before (as I read/listened/watched her interviews) Here’s a narrowed down of her life:

- Her parents were constantly fighting when she was young, leaving her into a broken home, around 7 years old she moved to LA living in a studio apartment with her mom and sister with the 3 of them with only 1 murphy bed. She’s estranged with her dad until now.

- She’s definitely an introvert, type of girl who sits on the far upper left or right corner in the theatre thinking that she doesn’t block anyone’s view (she actually said this on an interview), had social anxiety attacks since she was young but she knows she loves acting and wants to entertain people, starting with singing in her early years. She prefers doing stuffs alone and creating arts just to keep her mind at ease.

- Because of her passion in acting and her social condition, she was home schooled and focused in acting schools more, thankfully her mother supported her to go to acting schools and just going on auditions. Her singing career didn’t go as much as she hoped, to make ends meet she started DJ-ing just to earn money. Keep in mind Brie did not come from a prestige family with access to Hollywood unlike some of her Marvel co-stars. She started from zero.

- She actually auditioned for Twilight and was told, “Don’t ever bring Brie Larson back here again” for whatever reason. Was also told she wasn’t “sexy enough” for some stuffs she auditioned.

- Even though she loves acting, knowing she’s an introvert, it is the only reason why Brie has never considered blockbuster movies because she was afraid of getting recognised worldwide that it would leave her having no privacy at life at all. Due to this, she accepted mostly indie movies (Most recognisably Short Term 12 or The Glass Castle) but even by doing indie movies she didn’t earn enough money that sometimes she would cry in her kitchen telling her mom that she doesn’t have any money just to buy food. 

- She did the movie Room which won her first Oscar for best actress, but in the process in doing so it broke her in half because of her childhood past and trauma. Whilst doing The Glass Castle she also said it was rather personal that she played a character with a broken relationship with a father (Played by Woody Harrelson) is because she never had father-daughter relationship. All the stuffs she did were mostly personal because she felt connected to them. Even Captain Marvel, because she felt that it was a moment in her life where she needs the change to be stronger for herself and Carol has changed her for that.

- Her road into becoming Captain Marvel was almost like a brick to brick road built up for her, as she has acted in movies with most of the Marvel casts. In 13 Going On 30 with Mark Ruffalo, with Chris Evans in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Scarlett Johansson in Don Jon, Tom Hiddleston and Samuel L. Jackson in Kong: Skull Island and Joe and Anthony Russo in Community. A few reasons she accepted the role of Captain Marvel;  One being when she saw Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman, she admitted that even as the movie was just about a few minutes in, she couldn’t stop crying and she asks herself as to why that is, and she realised that this is the stuff I need, we don’t have this enough, where a powerful strong woman was depicted on screen; The other, for the most realistic reason that she did need the money while she was given the opportunity;  The SIMPLEST reason is just to MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY that the character is going to be brought to life; The MOST important of them all is that she wants to break the barrier of herself. She wants to be more out there, spreading positivity and setting an example to people to be stronger for themselves, that people can change for the better, in which in this case: Brie was a completely non athletic person with asthma, she trained for 9 months, almost 3-5 hours a day for 5 days a week at the gym with constant crying because of her hard work and changes to herself, vomited mostly at the gym and also puked during her pilot training. She had bruises all over the place because she did most of her stunts and training (Per her saying, it was ignorance at first because she thought everyone on Marvel was doing their own stunts when they’re not, but she did most of them herself that she was allowed to). 

- Now that she has recognition, she’s actually doing more activism and be a spokeswoman into helping people. She even promotes people’s brand and stuffs via her Instagram just to help out simple things. 

Please remember, she’s human. She has flaws, but I have never seen her doing/saying anything fatal that depicts resent. Never. And no, Brie is not the first female ever trying to set examples for people, but she is the current one getting the most hate for it just because of Captain Marvel— a film about a female superhero, setting an example for people to be stronger, she did it just to make people happy and half the world is angry at her. WTF. Believe it or not, this is girl actually CARES about people, she would care about you if you actually DO CARE about all the good things that does matter. Being of who she is, Brie is capable of empathising with people, which is something most people don’t have.

Brie wanted to be a better person, SHE DID. When in fact Brie has successfully done that, now people are hating her even more because she’s just a “bigger easier target” because of her role and apparently it is easier to hate someone else than just to be nice or appreciative or grateful in general. 

If you’re reading and you’re hating, can I just ask, what has Brie Larson done to your life? And maybe ask yourself what have you done that matters in your life? We can just be nicer to other people, it’s really not that hard to try, you know. Life is just about being kind to each other, there is no point in throwing hate because it’s not your cup of tea, having an opinion to your taste is fine, but giving hate comments about is just being an asshole. Imagine being in her shoes and dealing with all those that wasn’t necessary in the first place. It does take mentality of the size of the Jupiter with that amount of hate, and Brie Larson is still dealing them. Just think if that was you, could you be able to handle it as far as what she’s gone though? Really think about it. Not one human in the world wants to be hated for even the smallest reason, not even you.

As to those who feel like they wanted a change in their lives, if Brie can do it, SO CAN YOU. Stay calm, just be nice and kind to others— even to those who treated you unjustly. Let the action speaks louder than any words will ever do. And be happy of life.

My adoration for her is at the apex at the moment. She is IT.

So I’m just here spreading the love for Brie.

[tserritella]

Crazy as closure

I think that in the movie One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Chief and McMurphy do not leave when they have the chance Because they feel bad for the other patients. I feel like in the movie, we could sense compassion building in McMurphy towards the patients.

Throughout the movie I think he has become somewhat like a role model for everybody else in the facility. From taking them onto the fishing trip, to helping them stand up to the nurse. This leadership aspect of McMurphy kind of puts a stamp on his place and role in the hospital.

Now as for Chief, I think he didn’t really want to leave the facility at the beginning of the movie as it was his home and where he felt comfortable. All of his needs were met and he didn’t have to really think about anything else. When McMurphy showed up, I felt as if he had his eyes opened up as to being in the outside world again. Both McMurphy and Chief were the somewhat normal patients at the facility. They could definitely think for themselves so that’s already one up on everyone else. Watching the movie I’m not too sure what her motives were. As for the dilemma, I would assume that could be described as why they were placed in the facility.

When Patrick Bateman closes off American Psycho with the provided quote, there is a deep meaning to that. The line ”I want my pain to be inflicted on others” is quite simple to interpret. By saying that he means that he wants the people of the world to suffer what he is going through as well. He wants them to feel the same pain that he feels every single day trying to control his emotions.

The meaning of the American Psycho’s ending is essentially mirroring what is happening now. Not many people know about mental health issues, so I feel like it is an underrated issue to focus on. Nowadays, there are a lot more groups popping up to spread awareness about mental health including “mental health awareness” month.

I think films like this play with and affect my mental health in both positive and negative ways. The positive side would probably be eye-opening to people with psychological instabilities. It would give an idea of what they go through to kind of understand their day-to-day pain, even though it is nothing close to dealing with the issue that they have personally. Now the negative effects of seeing movies like this would be judging the worse side of the mentally ill. I could definitely see myself judging some of the more violent acts that people do when they are mentally ill or have any disorder that affects their abilities. I don’t mean that in a bad way, just seeing movies like the “Joker” for instance definitely messes with your head not knowing what’s going on inside of their heads at any given moment. Films like this could give a positive stigma and/or a negative stigma towards the topic of mental instability. In this case, American Psycho did not give such a great depiction of disabilities. In most cases individuals with disabilities are very understanding and caring, meanwhile Patrick was very slapdash (no pun intended) dealing with his emotions and did whatever he thought would control them.

I empathize with Patrick Bateman because I feel he is very misunderstood by society. I mean the man is going through a lot and that is why he has taken such violent roads to try and satisfy his psychopathic ways of doing things. Now, this does not make his actions acceptable obviously, but it does kind of give a backstory/meaning as to why he is doing those acts.

Okay, so for me the movie Donnie Darko was pretty confusing. I never really understood the plot or why everything was going on but I do kind of have a concept of what happened in the movie. The ending of the movie implied that all of Danny’s predictions and visions were accurate. The world did in fact end… But not for anybody else apart from him. Physically he’s the only one that died that we know of in the end but his family members were no doubt affected as well by his death so you could see a world ending emotion happening within the family. As to why Donnie is laughing at the end of the movie I guess you could say it is because he knows that his predictions were true meanwhile everybody did not truly believe him. For him, the end of the world did indeed happen, meanwhile everyone else was left hopeless in terms of dealing with the loss of Donnie. All of the processes that he predicted were to happen, came true. The rest of the world may not have known that, but life moved on.

The connections between these films in terms of their ambiguous endings was that everything is not as it seems. So many people can think one thing about an event or a person, and then the next thing you know it is completely different. That just goes to show that you really do not know what is happening in anybody’s lives or inside their minds.

There is definitely a purpose to the ambiguity in the endings. It makes the viewer think. It creates a sense of wonder as to what actually happened or what the actual meaning of the events that took place either throughout the whole movie, or in the ending meant. It could also provoke the viewer to dig deeper into the plot and story of the movie. Or even better yet, inside the minds of the characters.

Another connection would be the theme between these movies. No doubt, the theme could be mental health awareness but it can also be to always be aware of what is going on in anybody’s life. No human should put down another human because of their financial status, popularity, or mental stability. This connection could help create an understanding of the rest of the world and their problems (society wise).

[doctor-paprika]

did you know that, like physical health, there is a type of health, called mental health!

o, you were aware? well, luckily it's mental health awareness month! so you are already on the right track!

today, let's look at: addiction

benzos, booze, cocaine, crack, heroin, methamphetamine, other opiates blah blah blah blah. there are many, many drugs out there to get addicted to, but the ones stated above are the ones that I've seen the most in the recovery groups I've had to go to.

you can also get addicted to things like: sex, gambling, risks that result in an adrenaline rush, shopping, eating, exercising, etc.

It bugs me when drug addicts, like myself (completely sober since 6/22/16) are spit on by society as a disgusting menace. can addicts be disgusting menaces? yes! so can anyone else! the most disgusting people I've met were always completely sober, and many of the junkies I've hung around were incredibly kind, but lost in homelessness and addiction due to mental health issues.

BUT WAIT! Addiction itself IS a mental health issue! It is defined as a disease! Whether it be depression, bipolar disorder, insomnia, obsessive compulsive disorder, or any other issues on the long, long list of addiction triggering diseases, addiction is generally triggered by your brain trying to right a chemical imbalance by self medicating. whether it be with drugs, food, or sex, if I begins to negatively impact your life (though odds are you won't admit that to a while) you've developed a new disease! addiction! neato!

The stigmas around addiction need to end. Help your loved ones of they are afflicted, but keep your guard up 24/7. They are not disease spreading vermin, they are not hate filled killers or thieves. Most of them are mentally ill and desperate for help. If you are an alcoholic or opiate addict, the withdrawal can be so terrible that you may actually die. Who, already suffering from another debilitating illness like bipolar disorder, would so readily suffer on their own, if they can avoid that massive, long lasting pain? What if their fears of life after drugs is enough to stay on them forever?

Keep in mind: type two diabetes can be brought on by overeating leading to obesity. Anorexia is usually only noticed after the sufferer has been afflicted by mental illness for years, many having to force their loved ones to get treatment or watch them die. Skin cancer can be caused by those who avidly lay in the sun for the purpose of that perfect tan...

...but it's a lot less likely that somebody will make fun of, talk down to, and overall disrespect someone due to their malignant melanoma, than it is that they'll readily be cruel to an addict holding a sign on a median during a rainy night.

DID YOU KNOW? Over 50% of those with bipolar disorder are addicts at some point in their lives.

DID YOU KNOW? finding a vein isn't as easy as it looks in the movies! they collapse quickly and soon, shooting up can take two hours! gee whiz! [Em's input: my veins are still so collapsed that it I need blood drawn or an IV, the nurse needs to use an ultrasound to find any usable veins!]

FUN FACTS! DRUGS MAKE YOU STUPID! (but not a complete piece of shit)

- i knew a girl who shot up dope transported to Oakland from Mexico that is was kept in a dead body, with a dirty needle, into her femoral vein. the surgery to save her life left a scar that looked as if somebody scooped out her entire vagina with an ice cream scooper.

- one time i was alone, waiting for eight hours to meet my main dealer. I found a big crack rock on the floor of my car, and excitedly smoked the entire thing in one hit. it ended up being a piece of popcorn. I have never before or since tasted or smelled something so terrible.

- a person I had a very big crush on in high school wanted to hang out and I was very excited until he punched me hard in the face because my (for whatever reason) always dilated pupils were bigger than his, and he believed that meant the ecstasy he was on wasn't working.

Watch out for cops. Try to get help. Ignore those who reinforce harmful stigmas, because you have the potential to be better than them. Mental health is just as important as physical health! (but don't trust me, I'm a crazy, bipolar, ex junkie/crackhead and I assume my brain has long been turned into swiss cheese.)