#or something from my own brain because i am in fact a big fan of one new character in particular

[sunderwight]

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

[ahsxual]

Stu Macher x Fem!Reader where they are dating but the readers parents hate him so one night are 2:33 am Stu knocks on the readers window and she opens it it tells him to leave but before she can get a word out Stu is kissing her and telling her how much he misses her and one thing lead to, and so Stu had to push the readers head into her pillow so she didn’t wake anyone.

Sorry if the store request does not make any sense i’ve been wanting to request something from you for a while and this idea kinda came to my brain as I was falling asleep at four in the morning so I am very sleep deprived lol anyways I love your story. I hope you have a great day

Surprise Baby

Genre: Fluff & Smut

Warnings: +18 content, clingy and soft Stu, dirty talk, degrading, cursing, dom!Stu, p in v (w/o protection), sad Stu at the end (reader comforts him)

Word Count: 1,8k

A/N: This was actually a very interesting request and Ik very well that our daydreams before we sleep are the best 🤭 I added something to the plot at the end, so I hope you still like it! Tysm, I'm so glad you like my writing! It always feels so gratifying whenever you guys tell me that <33

Right now you're lying on your bed crying, while hugging your favorite bunny plush that Stu gave you for Valentine's Day. You'd just had an argument with your parents, since they weren't the biggest fans and supporters of your relationship with your boyfriend Stu Macher. You didn't understand why they didn't like him and didn't even make an effort to, even though Stu always made you happy and made your life more colorful and enjoyable from the moment you met him. Of course Stu had his flaws like everyone else, since perfection is impossible to achieve and that was fine by you. But not for your parents. They said that Stu distracted you from school, that he "lived" for parties and didn't give you your "precious" time to concentrate on your studies, because he always took you on dates so that he could spend more time with you, even when you said you were busy.

You perfectly knew that Stu wasn't a guy who would take "no" for an answer. Maybe it was because he'd always been spoiled by his parents and didn't understand the meaning of that word? Maybe he hated the fact that you would say "no" to him, because if you truly love him as you always say, why would you reject an opportunity to go out with him? Both answers to those questions are probably correct, because you knew that Stu didn't know how to respect your personal space either, not that you minded anyway. But your parents did and that was the problem. They even told you once that Stu was obsessed with you and that your personal life has also become his, as if it were his property. Maybe they were right about that, but that's how Stu showed how much he loved and cared for you and it always worked well in your relationship. And you really missed him.

Sleep didn't want to make its presence known, so you decided to watch your favorite show on your new tv. However, you still couldn't stop thinking about the argument with your parents. Of course you defended your boyfriend and were always on his side to protect him against anyone, even your own parents, but it did made you very upset... all you wanted was for your family to see how genuinely happy Stu makes you feel, how he always admired you and treated you as if you were the only woman to walk on earth and how he's so funny that it's practically impossible not to laugh because of some silly joke he's made until your cheeks hurt. You just wished your family accepted him and loved him as much as you did...

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when you heard your window being knocked on repeatedly. You screamed for a second, because you weren't expecting that to happen in the middle of the cold night. Nevertheless, you immediately felt relieved when you saw Stu standing there with his puppy eyes and big smile on his handsome face you loved so much. A wide smile appeared on your face the moment you realized your boyfriend wanted to surprise you and that he had actually made an effort to see you.

His giant body barely fit through your window and the way he clumsily tried to get into your room, like a cartoon thief, made you laugh until your belly started to get sore.

"Baby, what are you doing?? It's cold outside!" you asked worriedly, before you watched him fall face down on the floor as he let out an "ouch". You couldn't stop laughing at his poor attempt to sneak into your room, as he already knew that your parents would never let him in, especially so late at night. You looked over your bedside table, where your alarm clock was, to see what time it was, as it marked 2:33 am.

"Surprisee baby!" he shouted excitedly, with a contagious smile that didn't leave his face for a moment. His breathing was accelerated, which made you realize he had some trouble climbing up to your window. You felt your heart warming at his romantic gesture, yet you didn't want your parents to find out and kick him out of your house or worse.

"Be quiet babe, you're not supposed to be here! You need to leave Stu, my parents are gonna ki-" you were really worried about your boyfriend's safety, but Stu didn't give you a chance to finish your sentence, as he grabbed you firmly around your waist and began kissing you passionately with his long, skilled tongue. His hands were all over your body and his grip was tight, not allowing you to move away from him.

"Shh- don't worry about them. It's just us now. I've missed you so much, baby." he admitted, before kissing your neck eagerly. When he he'd had enough, he pulled you up by your hips and laid you down on your bed, his mouth never leaving yours. You couldn't help moaning as you felt his sweet, loving assaults on your body, his lips and big hands making you melt into his addictive touch.

"Love, we have to be quiet... and you're making it hard for me." by now you were feeling breathless, unable to contain your desire for your horny and needy boyfriend. Instinctively, you rubbed against Stu's crotch which made him groan in pleasure, as you could feel him already hard under his jeans. He began to gently pinch your nipples through the fabric of your short pajama top, enjoying and closely analyzing your reactions to his teasing touch.

"Looks like I have to shut you up so we don't get caught, baby..." the last thing you saw was a mischievous grin on your boyfriend's face, before he firmly turned you around so that you were on all fours for him. He pressed his erection against your ass, while his eyes rolled back as he put his head back from the stimulation and his mouth was slightly open. You were starting to enjoy this game way too much, to see who couldn't hold back their moans, and you made sure you would win this battle. You pushed your ass against him and started rolling your hips in a provocative way, knowing that Stu wouldn't be able to hold it much longer. He bit his lips at this and frowned, realizing what you were trying to do to him.

"My girl really wants to get some, huh? You wanna play dirty, doll? Do you really think you can win this game against me?" he laughed trying to mock you, making you feel pathetic if you really thought you could stay quiet with the way he was about to fuck you.

"Just fuck me already Stu, I can't hold it much longer..." you quickly gave up and decided to beg him for mercy, so you could feel him inside you for once. You were dripping by now and the thought of having to keep quiet so no one would catch you at such a vulnerable and intimate moment turned you on even more for some reason.

You finally felt him give you want you wanted, since Stu himself wasn't a very self-controlled guy when it came to you. You felt his tongue lick a long, firm strip from your throbbing clit to your pulsing, empty hole. This made you grip your pillow as hard as you could while he ate you out from behind. Unfortunately, it didn't last much longer like you'd hoped, as you didn't realize how horny and impatient Stu was feeling that night. Suddenly, you felt his fully erect cock enter you without any resistance, sliding easily into you because you were so wet with your cum and his saliva. He didn't give you any time to adjust to him as he usually did and started pounding you hard and fast. He knew you all too well, so he pushed your face against your pillow to prevent any sound coming out of your pretty mouth and kept his strong hand on your head. You prayed that no one would hear you both fucking like horny teenagers who can't control their sexual hormones. It wasn't your fault that you and Stu were so fucking attracted to each other and that your shared love was considered obsessive, right?

"You like that, don't you babygirl? You love it when I fuck you like this... You needy slut, can't get enough of your boyfriend's cock inside your tight hole. I bet your parents would be so embarrassed if they saw you getting fucked this good." he whispered in your ear before changing his angle to fuck you deeper. Wet sounds, your muffled moans and his heavy breathing were the only sounds being heard in your room, turning you both on even more. It didn't last much longer when you both came at the same time, since Stu was way too horny to hold his orgasm. He was so glad he'd made you cum before he climaxed inside you.

After the moment of ecstasy you both experienced, you lay there trying to catch your breath while staring at the ceiling. It was then that Stu pulled you closer to him and hid his face on your neck, clinging to you more than usual. He was acting way too needy and clingy, and wasn't trying to be the "dominant" one, which made you worry about him.

"Are you ok, love? Do you wanna talk about it?" you asked him softly as you caressed his hair and cheeks. You knew him too well to recognize whenever he wasn't feeling good, even when he was trying to hide it.

"My girl knows me so well." he chuckled weakly, trying to find the right words to tell you what was had been bothering him. After a moment of silence in which you tried to comfort him with your tender touches, he finally spoke. "My parents won't be able to make it for my birthday. Again." your heart ached for him, because you knew this problem had happened before. Although Stu's parents loved him and treated him right, they had never been very present throughout his life and that took a tool on his emotional behavior. That explained why he was so addicted to your attention and wanted you all to himself, all the time. It made you really sad that you couldn't help your boyfriend properly, because the presence of anyone's parents is irreplaceable.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, baby. I'm sure they're extremely busy with work and that's the only reason for their absence on such a special day. We both know that they love you and I'll be there for you to make sure you have the biggest party ever." you gently grabbed his face and smiled warmly at him, admiring his ocean eyes that reminded you of the maldivian water, as he stared back at you with pure love.

"I know you will. What would I do without you? You're the love of my life, you know that right?" you chuckled as you softly kissed his cute nose.

"I love you too, Stu... so much. You have no idea of how much love I have for you and no one ever will."

[maingh0st]

i know i'm not the first to say this, but the acolyte's cancellation has confirmed how tired i am of disney's decision-making when it comes to their content. i know nostalgia is the easiest way to a big payout, but we can only take so many spinoffs before the universe starts to feel too small. but then fresh content—content that's building on the canon by looking to old star wars lore while asking new questions—fizzles out.

it's the sequel trilogy all over again. we're promised something new, something that actually expands the canon rather than just recycling it, even bringing in concepts from legends, and then the rug is ripped out from underneath us & we're punished for ever caring about any of it. silly babygirl! palpatine was always the big bad (don't worry about the fact that this is thematically nonsense and not foreshadowed in any way), and rey isn't a nobody ("your parents sold you because they loved you"), and this isn't a story about how the force transcends human categories and dynasties (represented by a grey jedi force dyad between a legacy skywalker and a nobody orphan from a backwater planet, fulfilling not only balance between light and dark but also transcending the old to become something new). silly idiot!!! rey's a palpatine by birth and a skywalker by self-adoption and god forbid she create her own identity outside of these names our fans recognize. watch as she stands alone on a sand planet that has no personal significance to her, ending her arc almost exactly as she began. but look!! two suns! neat

i don't even know if fanservice is the right word. at a certain point, it just starts to feel like they're quaking in their boots at the thought of doing anything new. i had my gripes with some of the choices in the acolyte, but at least it was unique. it explored a new era and asked questions that star wars has only ever flirted with. like: what happens to the children who are uprooted from their homes at such a young age, yet can't find their place in the jedi order? how does one survive in a supposedly honorable system that nevertheless relies on the repression of some of humanity's most fundamental emotions? is it possible that an organization dictating exactly how one ought to interact with the very life force of the universe... could perhaps be faulty and shortsighted? what happens when the ways of that order clash with other cultures and worldviews? (spoilers: space colonialism). and that's not even to mention the ideas they play with re: the force itself (vergences! plagueis! force witches!)

i know not everyone loved the show, but a lot of people really did care about it. a lot of people, like me, were excited to see these new questions being raised. but forget it—the disney gods have decreed that it didn't hit some magical threshold of streaming hours or reach a "broad enough" audience in the two months it's been out. but don't worry guys. turn your brains off and tune in for the next spinoff 2 chewy 2 bacca

[felixdragonheartofficial]

TFA TEAM PRIME HUMAN REDESIGNS FINALLY

FUCK

+headcannons

Optimus: gotta stay focused

looks too old compared to his bot form.

I find it impossible for Optimus to be more than a million years old in this canon. In the least, he's older than 1000 years and since we have mfs that are canonically over 70 million years old(fagatron iykyk) compared to that, he feels like a dude in his early-to-mid-30's being the group parent.

---

-I made him more youthful, gave him curly hair, and tailored his clothing to actually look like his bot form.

-workaholic

-on the cusp of barley being able to hold his liquor

-doesn't own a pair of pajamas until Sari gets some for him

-usually forgets to put them on, but appreciates the gesture

-stays active for like, 3 days until he can't fight off sleep with work brain anymore, and unceremoniously passes out on the couch to sleep for a full 24 hours

-ratchet sighs and puts a blanket over him as per routine

-frequently checks security feed

-elf on the shelf despiser

-early morning talks with jazz and ratchet over coffee (they all wake up at 6 am)

-half thrives on caffeine and a vigorous training protocol

-is a dog person, loves German shepherds to death

David sama, pls forgive me ily very much

Ratchet: to old for this nonsense

doesn't match his body type in the slightest.

Ratchet is really old, he's got a sallow face and a gramp gut, how dare they square him. He's wayyy too angular and peachy looking.

-I gave him his luscious curves back, adding all the equipment id expect a field medic to have because he is a field medic, not a regular doctor. I changed his facial proportions, and also made his face gaunt, for that dead inside PTSD look.

---

-drinks his coffee black with brown sugar, literally drinks it piping hot

-is one of those old people who complains about noise

-confiscates bumblebee and Sari's toy cars, and puts them in a high up cabinet

-neither of them know how to bypass the child safety lock lmao

-casual clothes includes a lot- a l o t of plaid shirts, and 10 pairs of the same blue jeans

-tunes out bulkhead and prowls convos about birdwatching

-big fan of political satire dramas

-Sentinel doesn't approve

-Ratchet doesn't give a rats ass about what he thinks of course

Bumblebee: professional smart-ass

doesn't match his body type/age.

Bumblebees holoform is presented as a 10-12 year old child specifically for the fact that he's short, and the comedic relief. Total ass

I set his human age as 19-20 years old, making him more of a big brother to sari because that og model is disappointingly lackluster

---

-Bumblebee is a scrappy wisecracking punk, like an adhd kid who just got roller skates for Christmas.

-since he doesn't have wheels, I feel like he'd wear skates instead to emulate the feeling

-terrible at watching where he's going cuz he's too busy trying to show off, so ratchet makes him wear all that padding + training wheels

-legit despises the padding and training wheels

-Jealous of Blurr for mastering roller blades lmao.

-his favorite games are choose your fighter and fps

-saw ONE ancient ass assassins creed playthrough and begged ratchet to install hidden tasers in his arm bands (was denied)

-Sari used her key to do it instead

-self appointed "rizzler"

-Optimus has zero idea of what that means and thinks it's code for something dubious

-Ratchet knows what it means and thinks it's silly

-"I' was something of a rizzler myself back in my day, kid"

-bumblebee cringes

-loves summer and swimming

-wants to be the fastest thing in the sea because y'know, it's bumblebee

-is spooked from the beach for awhile cuz he saw sharks in Prowls nature documentary

-there are infact, no sharks in lake Erie

Bulkhead: big guy, bigger heart

doesn't match his body type/aspirations.

Jesus fuck he's so wide?? And his belly migrated to his shoulders?? I'm gonna be honest, I really hate this design. I feel like it contributed to the "brute strength = stupid" take that most in the fandom associates with him.

---

-Bulkhead is a SWEET. CARING. NERD YOU FOOLS. He's like the male version of a tall goth gf-

-a tall-nerdy-farm hand-physics bf, You got me fucked up.

-Its already shown that bulkhead really likes art in Addition to creating it. He hates being only seen as the "muscle" so it wouldn't make sense for him to lean into that.

-bunny slippers that him and sari made together(she provided the buttons)

-the slippers go missing sometimes (basically considered community property unless he's wearing them)

(ratchet and prowl are the main offenders)

-frequent art museum goer

-really likes watching cooking shows, but is too shy to make food himself

-Owns a ton of star maps

-Really wants a treehouse that he, bumblebee and sari can hang out in

-pillowfort enjoyer

-casually reads quantum physics at the beach

Prowl: draft dodger

Doesn't look like him at all.

Prowls holoform being a mustachioed,white, police officer was an actual jumpscare for 7 y/o me, I kid you not

---

- I know this bitch would not wear a helmet (you can't force him to) que windswept hair

-Not as much as starscreams, for obvious reasons but yk

-prowl is like one of those "shoes are a prison for your feet"

-emo hipster

-has a pet cactus named "planty"

-bumblebee heckles him for it

-can and has brought his cactus with him on early evening motorcycle rides

-the helmet is reserved for his cactus, bring your own >:(

-salad consumer

-him and jazz share custody of the cactus

-repeat victim of the cat distribution system

-ratchet has probably spent hours telling him they can't keep any animals at base

-frequent midnight picnics with jazz

-and beachcombing

-and roaming around antique stores cuz jazz wants to know what vinyl records are

-got a mug with an attempted pink chibi cat with big round shiny eyes painted onto it, courtesy of bulkhead trying to find an artsyle

-cherishes this mug to death

-has a shrine dedicated to it

[puffyducks]

Puffy's Really Comprehensive and Cool Review of PK Out of the Shadows for the PS2 (not emulated guys I didn't emulate it I bought a really legal copy for my PlayStation 2 console that I own)

Ok guys I just did a really epic playthrough of the Paperinik video game (that was streamed on Discord thank you to everyone who watched me scream and struggle for like 6 hours) and I'm here to give a review for the other PK fans or perhaps even people who really like playing old niche PS2 games for some reason (get a better hobby)

First of all this game gets a 10/10 rating from me because this game has Paperinik in it and there are no other games with Paperinik in them.

Paperinik's English name is "the Duck Avenger" but I guess there was too much PK logo branding in this game for them to bother to change it so they kept his name as just PK and tried to explain it by saying it stood for "really cool duck" or something in Latin. Which I'm pretty sure was just a fucking lie.

I'm really happy that Uno was there, I love him and he's my best friend even tho he was FUCKING USELESS like this whole game. Sorry he just kinda grabs Donald, turns him into a superhero, then throws him into an Evronian base with 0 explanation and is like "go kill" and like who am I to say no to the giant floating orb?? Like he gave me a gun which is really nice but I'm out here getting fucking jumped by the Evronian empire and Uno isn't even there to cheer me on or NOTHING. He only occasionally shows up to explain when you get a weapon upgrade like FUCKING DO SOMETHING UNO THEY'RE BEATING MY ASSSSS

The little collectibles are just tiny floating Uno heads so that also gets a 10/10 from me I really enjoyed running around and collecting my army of Uno PNGs. The SECOND collectible however- Ok so there are like these scientists that are tied up by the Evronians and you're supposed to save them right? Well for whatever reason (they don't really explain why this is happening) every time you get close to a scientist it starts a big menacing countdown in the corner and you're supposed to save them before the timer goes down or else THEY JUST FUCKING DIE?? I THINK?? LIKE I SAID THEY DON'T EXPLAIN IT SO I CAN'T REALLY TELL WHAT'S HAPPENING, BUT IF THE TIMER GOES DOWN AND YOU REACH THEM TOO LATE THERE'S JUST LIKE A PILE LEFT BEHIND FROM WHERE THEY USED TO BE, I THINK THEY GET FUCKING VAPORIZED OR SOMETHING? AND LIKE I WAS REALLY BAD AT SAVING THEM BECAUSE I GET REALLY STRESSED WHEN THE TIMER STARTS. I HAVE SO MUCH BLOOD ON MY HANDS. anyways.

I like totally didn't get stuck on the same section for 10 minutes because I kept comedically sliding PK directly into a big pool of evil pink goo. Like evil Evron goo I guess, don't remember THAT from the comics. If you so much as touch it with your little pinkie toe he dies instantly, it's very troubling. Like I said um that didn't happen to me though because I'm really good at video games. Idk if you knew I'm level 102 on Wizard101 which is like pretty high. Like it's not max level I'm pretty sure max level is like 180 right now but it's still cool I'm still cool and also really good at video games.

Oh yeah also something that was really amusing to me is the way that PK is just fucking Stanced Up the entire game. Like he's always kinda menacingly crouching and shuffling around everywhere he goes like a little superhero cockroach. Love him.

Can't believe I haven't mentioned this sooner but for the English dub of this game (which is what I was using because I am, in fact, an English speaker) they made the huge brained decision to get Rob Paulsen to do Donald's "superhero" voice. Rob Paulsen of course from Yakko Warner fame... and Steelbeak 1991. Donald sounds goofy as shit the whole game it lowkey kills me. I guess they assumed people wouldn't wanna sit through his regular scratchy voice for however many hours of gameplay but trust me, I would WAY prefer regular Donald over the weird 90s protagonist Crash Bandicoot wannabe thing he has going on. Uno sounds great tho, zero complaints.

At one point PK walks out of the level and he's like "haha who knew this superhero stuff would be so easy!" and I took that as a deep and personal insult. That was not easy Donald I was fighting for my fucking life in there. You have like 13 bullet wounds and I dropped you into Evron goop like 6 different times. Stop making me look bad.

I got stuck standing around like a fucking idiot for 10 minutes because I got an upgrade for the X-transformer and Uno was like "you see that hole? Go over and press □ to send the X-transformer through it!" and I was like oh ok. Except there was no hole I couldn't find the hole. I was only able to progress past this part because I pulled up a youtube video of someone else playing the game, and the guy in the video ALSO proceeded to get stuck in the same spot before realizing you have to backtrack to find the hole like 15 feet away from where Uno gave you the instructions. I can't tell if it's bad game design or if I'm just stupid.

I'm ngl I got to the end and heard Zondag start talking and he lowkey sounds hot as fuck. I mean WOAH that's crazy who said that??? (he's also British for some reason)

Wrapping up my final thoughts with some simple questions:

Does this game have Paperinik in it?

Yes.

Is it a good game?

No.

What's the best part about the game?

Uno is in it.

What's the worst part about the game?

Everything else.

Would you have been able to beat this as a child?

Absolutely not.

Why did they think it would be a good idea to get Rob Paulsen to do the voice of PK for the majority of the game?

Hell if I know???

Would you recommend this game to other people?

Probably not.

It took me a total of 6-ish hours to beat the game (it can be beaten in like 2 hours I'm just slow) but in that amount of time you could read PKNA chapter #34 "Nothing Personal" like 6 times which I think would be a way better experience.

Anyways like I said 10/10, would maybe think about playing again. On like a really depressing rainy day where I have literally nothing else to do.

[iamthecomet]

hi, do you still take requests? I would love to see some broken limbs related comfort (does that count as a sick fic?). like mountain helping rain walk cus he lost his crutch or cirrus helping cumulus wash her hair since it's hard to do with a cast on her arm. (implying there's a reason they can't insta heal)

I do still take requests! It just sometimes takes me a really long time to get to them. But this one got my brain whirling. I haven't written much (any?) of it in the Ghost fandom but I am a big fan of whump (the injury version of a sick fic). So thank you for giving me an opportunity to inflict some pain (and comfort) on our favorites. Almost 1.2k of Aeon & Swiss hurt/comfort under the cut (no broken bones, because this is what came to me instead).

Aeon loves quintessence. He loves the electric shock of it. The tingling warmth. The way he can ease pain, and loosen muscles with a little press of his fingers. How he chases away Dew's headaches, and Cumulus' lower back pain. How he can loosen up Rain's hips, and Mountain's shoulders with barely a flex of his muscles. The only thing he hates about it, is the limitations. The fact that he can't do it to himself. Can't turn his power around and soothe his own aches. Most of the time, it isn't a problem. He's flexible, loose, spry. His vessel isn't prone to tense muscles or joint pain--maybe a product of his quintessence nature. He doesn't know. What he does know, is he's in agony. Something happened during Square Hammer. He got a little to overzealous with his movements and slipped on errant confetti. Hand coming up to grip the closest thing to him--the edge of Mountain's drum platform. His grip kept him upright, but wrenched on his shoulder as he regained his balence. Forcing an uncomfortable pop in his shoulder that he felt radiate through his entire body. A sickening thud, followed closely by immediate alarm bells in his head. That's not right. Something is wrong. It didn't hurt--not right away. Too caught up in the sudden wrongness of it. Adrenaline, already pumping through him from the show, dumping into his blood at an alarming rate. He thought he was fine. The pain started just before the end of the song. A dull ache radiating across his shoulder. Slowly gaining heat and intensity. Now, he's standing next to Swiss, about to bow, feeling like if he doesn't get off of this stage right now he's going to collapse in front of twenty thousand people. His stomach twists. The pain is bright and not now. Molten. Deep in his shoulder. Moving it, even just a little, raises a strange sense of dread through his body. Like something at the base of his brainstem knows he shouldn't do that. That catastrophe will happen if he does. Fight or flight directed toward his own body--his own pain. He wishes he could run from it. That he could just take off--run fast enough to leave this pain on the stage. Spread out and abandoned. Instead it's all he can do to bow without bursting into tears. When Swiss claps his hand over Aeon's shoulder, he winces. Pain drags up his neck, into his skull. Swiss notices, of course he does. Gaze lingering on Aeon for a second too long. Aeon flushes under his mask--embarassed even though he doesn't know why. He can't see Swiss' eyes but he can picture the way they're narrowing behind those dark lenses. Aeon looks away first, he shrugs it off. He makes it off stage, into the dressing room, and halfway out of his uniform before the trouble really starts. Everything is fine until he goes to pull his compression shirt off. The vest went fine, and the button up shirt beneath. He'd shrugged them off, letting them fall to the floor in a heap. But now--this--fuck. He should have just worn the sleeves tonight. He curses himself, looks at the compression sleeves sitting neglected in his trunk. He thought about it--but after a few shows of constantly having to adjust them back up on his arms he'd opted for the full shirt to save him some aggravation. He swears, under his breath. Glamor rapidly failing him as he feels fangs prick against his lip, and the bite of claws into his palms. He tries to get it under control, grasping at straws for any hint of control, of magic, of relief. "You ok, Bug?" Swiss is gentle this time when he touches Aeon. Avoiding the shoulder all together and opting for a heavy warm palm on his waist. Aeon feels panic crawl up his throat, hot and insistent. Filling him with the need to go. To run. To scream. Instead, he whines. Pain breaking out through his clenched teeth. Swiss stiffens, the usually casual air of his evaporating, replaced with worry. "Aeon." "I did something--my shoulder," Aeon's cheeks get hot, eyes watering. "It's not getting better. And I can't get my fucking shirt off."

"Let me help." Swiss is gentle when he slips his fingers beneath the compression fabric. Aeon allows himself to be undressed--not much else he can do. He can barely lift his arm, but Swiss manages, gentling the fabric of hot swollen flesh and dropping it onto the ground with everything else. "Hurts," Aeon says as Swiss looks at his shoulder--investigating without being asked. Aeon wishes Aether were here, he'd at least talk to him while he did this. He'd make Aeon feel better. Swiss just looks, shifts Aeon's arm this way and that like he knows what he's looking for. "I'm sure it does," Swiss mumbles. Then Aeon feels it--a tiny spark. Quintessence. Just a little. Tenative. Like Swiss isn't used to using it like this. "I'm not Aether, obviously. But I think it's a sprain. You'll be alright." Aeon feels those words somewhere at his core. Solid. True. Maybe it's Swiss' quintessence. The power of suggestion. But he believes him. Even as the pain rages, barely touched by what little quintessence Swiss has given him. He wants to beg for more, he almost does--but Swiss is still talking. "....get you dressed and back to the hotel. I'll take care of you." "You?" Aeon looks up at him. Swiss laughs, lopsided grin finally slotting back into place. "Yeah, me. Why you hoping for someone else to play nurse?" "No! No, I just mean--you're not--I figured you had better things to do. Weren't you and Dew going to go to that bar or something? I'll be ok--" "I know you'll be ok. But I want to help. So let me." Aeon wants to protest. He knows he's a part of this pack as much as anyone else--has never been lead to believe he isn't. But he's still new, still worries that he's one misstep away from being rejected. But Swiss has never given him a reason to think that, and he looks so earnest when he asks. Wearing his glamor. Looking so startlingly human with warm brown eyes and that crooked smile that always makes Aeon's stomach flip. Swiss grabs Aeon's t-shirt and holds it out to him--ready to help, and Aeon sags in resignation. He can do it alone--he can take care of himself and battle through this pain without any help. But why would he want to. "Will you even wash my hair for me?" Aeon asks, half a joke, grinning just for the opportunity to see Swiss grin back. "Maybe," Swiss laughs, helping Aeon into his t-shirt. "But, I might just dose you with enough quintessence to knock you out so I can go party with Dew." "You won't," Aeon says, sure. Feeling lighter despite the pain radiating down his arm and into his fingers. Swiss pulls him close, guides him out of the dressing room with a steady hand on the small of his back. "No," he concedes. "I won't."

[schizosamwincester]

Happy wincest Wednesday! Do you prefer romance in your wincest or is it something else entirely? I’ve recently gotten really interested in aromantic Dean Winchester.

-@schizo-sam-winchester

Okay I assume you're sending the same question to everyone because if you don't already know that I am a big fan of aro Dean then I am not talking about it enough and I need to fix that.

I am aromantic and allosexual. I know what an aromantic allosexual looks like. An aroallo person looks like Dean Winchester. I mean not exclusively, obviously, some people who are alloaro actually do care about things that aren't sex (not me, but some) and some even have low libidos or don't like people or whatever and don't have sex at all, but like. I am alloaro and I know my people and my people is Dean Winchester.

Dean Winchester has no clue that romantic attraction is even real. Dean died thinking that romance is just when you have a friend who you also have sex with. And you know what's better than a friend? A brother. And you know who he also has sex with? His brother. So if you ask him, yeah, sure, he and Sam are dating or an item or whatever. They're a couple. They're romantic. Of course they are. They love each other, and they are together all the time, and they live together, and they have sex. Those are the requirements.

Sam, having been in actual romantic relationships, obviously knows better. He also knows Dean well enough to know that he does not do that and is simply incapable of thinking that way. In the event that he comes across aromanticism in his travels online and it isn't framed as just an offshoot of asexuality, he's going to immediately go "oh there's a word for that! Good. Good to know there are other people like Dean." He absolutely would not tell Dean about this, though. Dean barely admits to being bi. He's not going to want Sam to give him a whole other word.

(If the source in question did treat aromanticism as just being for asexuals, though? Well Sam knows damn well how his brother feels about sex, and how sexually attractive Dean finds him in particular. And queer labels and all that are decidedly not his area of interest, so if a thing says it's only for aces, he's not going to question that. The prospect of it applying to Dean just won't occur to him at all)

I do think Sam has romantic feelings for Dean, although I imagine they're a little different than what he'd feel for a partner who felt romantically back just because that lack of reciprocation does make the whole thing different. Still, I don't think they're unromantic per se? I think it's complicated. Dean is definitely aro, but I do think there are some elements of romance there. And I think Sam is down bad for Dean in every way, romantic and sexual.

But yeah, for me Dean being aro is a fundamental fact. I will occasionally bend that for my interpretations of Deanjohn, because there I can definitely see some elements of pining and that's fun, but I don't get that from wincest. Sam has always been there. He is part of Dean. How can Dean be romantically attracted to the other half of his own soul?

If I saw wincest as traditionally romantic, I would not give a shit about it. I wouldn't be here. I simply do not care about romance. There's a reason I don't ship destiel, and it's not because there's nothing there. It's objectively a very good set up for a ship. It's just that what's there is the potential for very good romance, and the second things get romantic my brain turns off.

Wincest is pure electric sexual attraction and tension, and sex? Yeah I understand sex. I like sex. My brain is about 90% sex at any given moment. I'm kind of impressed that I have so many ace friends, actually, given the amount I'm incapable of shutting up about sex.

... Like I said. I know Dean Winchester is aro because his view of sex and romance is pretty much identical to mine.

(To be fair, it is very helpful that I think all this because I am almost incapable of writing romance even if I do see things as romantic. It turns out that doesn't actually matter. If you write sexual feelings and just make the context romantic and don't say it's a purely sexual relationship, people will see the romance there anyway. You don't have to actually understand romantic feelings and how to write them. People will just project them in. Which definitely says some things about amatonormativity that aren't great, but hey, it's convenient for me.)

[fandomhype]

Plagiarism Somerton

I obviously didn't watch the new James Somerton apology video ON his channel because I did not want to give that man the views and you shouldn't either! It has been re-uploaded and summarised elsewhere so that he doesn't benefit if anyone wants to see it.

The original hbomberguy video was wild to me because of all the stealing, I found it highly entertaining, loved all the Memes and it honestly did my imposter syndrome wonders! but then I watched the Todd in the shadows video and it really upset me.

He didn't just steal from other LGBT creators he lied to his mostly young LGBT audiance who were looking to an elder gay for guidance and to learn about their history.

Todd's video starts with a clip of James lies being spread by another person on a podcast, there's clips of people discussing his made up gay nazi fanfic he has presented as hard facts. He actively harmed his own community for cash! There are young gay men bringing that subject up in conversation being laughed at for falling for it and that leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.

Now I'm not a part of that community but a lot of people I love are so that angered me a lot.

...and then he comes back with another apology video, conveniently within the three months he would have had to post something on his channel to retain his monetisation status weirdly?! In which he blames both a head injury and his ADHD for his theft - at no point does he address the lying in either apology video or any of the apology posts he made that I could find.

I have combined ADHD, when I was first diagnosed the NHS referred to it as ADD with Hyperactivity element but everyone seems to have gone back to calling it ADHD and that is the term used most commonly online so that is what I refer to it is as.

I am medicated but there has been a world wide shortage of my medication and I was without it for some time over winter, which was HELL! I got nothing done.

I am in no way a big creator, Youtube for me is a fun wee hobby that will hopefully grow and allow me to collaborate with other people with similar interests but ADHD is for sure a large part of my journey as a creator.

I've published like 7 videos and currently have around 10 being worked on because, you know... ADHD! *siren noises*

I know that I am forgetful sometimes, just for the record I also had several head injuries and concussions as a child because Lil undiagnosed at the time me truly had no fear of climbing or other dangerous activities so I have my script (because free talking a subject with this brain would be nearly impossible) open in one google doc and my research open in another. It's not hard.

That's the way it was at school, college and Uni too. James claims he went to Uni to do business. Every university uses anti-plagerism software for essays and has done since like the mid 2000's? so he knows not to copy pasta. He's straight up lying there.

Another thing he's lying about is his ADHD making him forget he copied things. Now if you tell me a joke that I like it'll stick in my head and I will straight up tell it as my own later, I've been called out for this many times! But entire articles? whole sections of other peoples videos? (he also flipped a fan Vid he had ripped off of another YouTube to avoid detection and tried to pass it off as his own) No that's not something you can accidentally do even with a swiss cheese brain like mine.

Weirdly all the the paragraphs James claims he accidentally copied were also edited to remove aspects of the Trans, Bi and Ace experiences that James markedly does not believe exist. Strange considering he accidentally copied them and assumed they were his own words? Imagine going back through a paragraph you think you wrote yesterday in the edit the next day and finding swarths of things you don't agree with there?!

Why am I telling you all this? Well because I wanted to put my two cents in as a creator with this condition, partly because I felt it was somewhat of an attack on us!? He's put it out there that ADHD creators are liable to steal from others and that's not ok by me. Also I just really like the sound of my own typing!

TL;DR : James Sommerton is a suck ass liar and he doesn't get to use his disability as an excuse for what he did! and...

****** ADHD DOES NOT MAKE YOU STEAL SHIT!!! ******

Also watch Todd's Vid, everyone saw the Hbomberguy one but this one goes deeper:

[inchidentallybackup]

ok so I am obsessed with this poetry/Oscar series by @piastriachios and I need to just put my thoughts here rather than messing with the visuals of the post

the fact that so much is emphasized about how poetry is this clean, pure line of thought from brain to pen when so many people see it as "flowery" or "fussy" or worse, intellectual in an elitist sense. and it's like the way people (looking at you, Dax Sh*pard) see Oscar and assume he's Just a Guy and casually fling all these bro-ey assumptions at him thinking he'll pick them up and play ball. but every time one of those comes at him Oscar visibly withdraws and casts that Australian sound-of-hesitation-and-disagreement and hits back with something much simpler and nothing to do with outside approval. he has A-levels in maths, physics and computer science but he also chooses daring and risk above all else. he said goodbye to his dad and lived half a world away from his family from age 14, pushed himself to succeed at school alongside his racing career, stood up against an entire F1 team to choose where he took his F1 seat, and has had one of the ballsiest rookie seasons for a long time.

the emphasis on the bravery and the guts it takes to compose poetry as well - how exposed you are. and there's Oscar following on from Carlos and Daniel as Lando's teammate hot on the heels of controversy - and he makes the solid decision to just be himself, with absolutely nothing in common with the naturally media-friendly big personalities that came before him. it feels so tempting to class him as awkward or just shy but it's not the case. he will not dance when told to and he won't fill space if it doesn't feel right. he won't play even a somewhat false part to Lando for the sake of winning over fans and media (a lot of whom already looked askance at him). he also isn't humble and deferential to Lando just for the impression it will give. he knows he's the rookie and he knows Lando is the established F1 driver. none of that matters on the track of course. but everywhere else, it does. so it matters to him.

and then there's his unbroken resilience and lack of relationship with regret. he celebrates with humility as well as pride when he does well, and stares disappointment down with that determined look on his face. because of course he feels things and of course it's more than what he will allow just anyone to know about him. but even that is strategic and smart. his own family told him that to pursue this career the way he wanted he would have to largely be solitary. he didn't even find a girlfriend just to have someone around to absorb the loneliness as so many young men do, she has her own education and career and family and has only been to certain races each year. and his choice was to not try and find a new family but to be his own man. "that's the type of chaos that happens when your brain interferes with your body". he knows what things he's supposed to be doing and what his responsibilities are meant to be. it isn't his job yet to try and be more for the sake of someone else or worry about what he'll be expected to do in the future. that will be then, this is now.

"thinking will make mistakes" and if that doesn't describe Oscar's approach of demanding space to be deliberate and comfortable. a huge amount of Lando's discussions about his own mental health are on him trying to live more for the moment and to not get stuck in his own head. he said of the Sprint win 'Oscar didn't make any mistakes and I did, so he deserved that win more than me' (paraphrased). Lando also said that he's gained a lot from having Oscar as a teammate and that's honestly an understatement for Lando's success in the 2023 season. they're both preternaturally disposed to view life and racing in totally different but not remotely clashing ways. Oscar's clarity and ability to remain in the moment is something Lando's always known he needs more of because it sharpens and hones his own abilities the way it does for Oscar. it's like having a walking buddy who keeps pointing at things on the horizon and making you look up to see. you don't have to see in the same way or even see the same things, you just have to remember to look.

"kick against words as you would kick back on a swing" and "you've got to feel as if the soles of your feet are touching the sky" godddd when you watch the races from the onboards and appreciate the rocket science and mortal risk of each and every race - and how vastly different F1 is to F2 and why so many young men are denied a seat… Oscar could never be the placid creature he seems when he's outside the car. it's just that who he really is exists when he's in the car and life for him outside of it is something different. he's possibly the most 'purely driven by a passion for racing' racing driver in a Prostian sense for a long time. (Max being a different kettle of fish entirely and not my topic to get into) but there's a lack of alpha male anger and hostility to him that existed in those previous generations that I think is what propelled him in the Qatar sprint and has resulted in his passing looking like someone who's more like three or four years into his F1 career than a rookie. Oscar will not give up his daring for anyone or anything. that's the truth of that bright crimson streak across his cheeks when he lifts his helmet off before he slowly becomes pale and retiring again.

I just really love that post and it was completely unnecessary and probably very unpoetic of me to ramble about it like this but it's intended as fully appreciative <3

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Shantae Mini-Headcanons - More Than Meets The Eye

Been a good bit since I've actually posted one of these, huh? Well, besides the usual, real life reasons, the main reason for that is mostly just on account of my brain being more focused on Transformers at the moment. This is my Shantae blog, so when I'm focused on other, not Shantae things, then generally I'll keep the queue filled, and...that's about it

But it HAS also been bothering me that I haven't made a headcanon post here in a while, and then it hit me - what if I just did a crossover headcanon post? That's something I've done a FEW times before (though not many), so...why not, right?

So, here's my headcanons as to what each Shantae character would be like as a Cybertronian!

Shantae - I mean. Obviously we're going to start with the main character, especially when the main character already transforms. The main question is, what would she transform into from her many transformations? And to that, I say - trick question, she's going to be a six-changer, with her five alt modes being an aye-aye (technically not a monkey but the big ol' eyes and small size of her monkey transformation have always reminded me of one so), an elephant, an eagle, a spider, and a barracuda. I'm sure you're wondering if that's even possible to accomplish, and the answer is - yes, I've actually had it visualized in my head for a good bit now, no I'm not going to draw it because I am not insane. Also, her name. While it's not unheard of for Transformers to have completely human names (for example, Minerva. no, I'm not kidding, that is an actual Transformer), generally they're very notably not human. So, for Shantae, her Cybertronian name would be Hexamera. She'd be an Autobot for obvious reasons.

Sky - You would think I'd go with the route where she turns into a bird, similar to Wrench, but I'm actually thinking Sky turns into a jet, with Wrench being a minicon who's partnered up with her and turns into, well...a wrench. As for Sky's Cybertronian name, I'm going with Birdwatch. Wrench doesn't need to change his name (and in fact there HAVE been Transformers named Wrench before. but they're incredibly minor ones so I don't care that much). Again, Autobot, but one potential interesting angle I could see is that she's a Seeker who defected to the Autobot side? For you non-Transformers fans in the audience, a Seeker is the term used for Starscream and his many repaints. I imagine that some of her more neurotic behavior (like the entire thing with Barracuda Joe in Pirate's Curse, for instance) would be attributed to her time in the Decepticons here

Bolo - This is incredibly straightforward, honestly - the answer is, truck. Any big vehicle would do, honestly, but truck is the one I see fitting Bolo the most. If I wanted to go into specifics, I imagine that a snow plow like Animated Sentinel Prime would be interesting (though obviously Bolo would not have a FRACTION of Sentinel Prime's ego). Similar to Wrench, Bolo's another case where the name doesn't really need to change. Aaaaaaand Autobot again, of course.

Rottytops - So! Here's a more interesting one! For Rottytops, I'm imagining her as a motorcycle with a side car, with the side car being capable of forming her right leg or a massive hammer. And as for how I'm handling the whole "zombie" thing...easy - she's a Junkion, which makes taking off her own body parts hardly out of the ordinary for her. It DOES also make her name a bit difficult to figure out, because generally speaking Junkions have names related to trash and a lot of the good ones are taken, but the one I came up with for her is Impro-Vice. As for her alignment, I'd imagine she'd be neutral at first, not really interested in the conflict between Autobots and Decepticons, briefly join Risky (who I'm going to get to soon enough) as a Decepticon, feel really bad about it, and then join the Autobots.

Uncle Mimic - This one's a bit tricky. My first, immediate thought was to give Mimic a static, non-vehicle mode like a microscope or some other scientific equipment, since Transformers tends to shy away from those these days and it's kind of a shame, but after thinking about it, I reluctantly admitted to myself that wouldn't quite fit Mimic, so I had to go with something else. I'm thinking more of an...exploration vehicle, if that makes sense? Something like a Mars rover but more armored and with treads to better handle more dangerous environments. As for his name...honestly, Mimic could work as a Transformers name, but I wanted something to better reflect his engineering experience, so after a bit of thinking, I came up with Rebore - which, in automobile terms, is what you do when you modify the bore of an engine. Again, Autobot.

Risky Boots - Do I even need to explain this one? She's a Cybertronian spaceship - something close to a pirate ship in design, I'd imagine, but far more futuristic. The Tinkerbats would be Minicons that she carries with her via her alt mode. As for her name...took me a while on this one, but the name I settled on was Brigantine. As for her allegiance - as I briefly alluded to, she's a Decepticon; she effectively got press-ganged into them by the Pirate Master, and then after he bit the dust, she elected to stay with them.

Now, I COULD do more...but this is a mini-headcanon post, so I want to try and keep this brief. Still, let me know if you'd be interested in more of this!

[writerscafehub]

𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀: 𝐋𝐢𝐳

@avengers-resident-idiot

From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

About a 3 I think, I hav𖤓 liz 𖤓en’t written anything in a while because I’ve been busy with work and school. I struggle with actually finishing anything, I swear my drafts is a graveyard of WIPs. Once I get done with my finals I plan to actually try and sit down and actually write a fic or at the very least headcanons

2. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I feel like my writing is very self indulgent, I fantasize for literal days or weeks about what I personally would want to happen and imagine myself as the reader in the fic and just run with it. I have tried a few times to write an idea that a friend gives me and I just struggle cause I get stuck in my own head wondering if I’m writing it how they personally would want it.

3. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Literally everybody in the server, the fact that y'all are so imaginative and are so motivated to write fics on a consistent basis never fails to amaze me, I am on my knees begging for a crumb of the kind of motivation y’all got. 

4. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? 

Honestly probably the very first fic I ever wrote, which was a Zayn Malik fanfiction (I was a HUGE One Direction fan…honestly I still am). It was terrible, and so ridiculously cringey but to middle school me, I was the next Shakespeare  and was just proud that I actually wrote something and put it on the internet for the world to see and I regret nothing. 

5. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write and which do you find most difficult to write? 

The easiest is probably Peter Parker cause he’s such a sassy little shit and I love him. The hardest is probably Dr. Spencer Reid, I’ve tried before and I just can’t get his mannerisms right. 

6. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

I feel like my most of my wips are friends to lovers with misunderstandings galore 

7. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about!

I’ve been planning this fic out in my head for the past month, idk for sure what I’m gonna call it, but it’s gonna be an Evan “Buck” Buckley x reader fic, I’m considering adding Eddie Diaz into the mix cause honestly it’s what we deserve. Basically the reader is going to open up a bakery across from the fire station and our lovely firefighters can’t resist the smell of warm bread and coffee in the morning so they go and meet Reader (considering giving her a nickname) who is dancing to 80’s music and may or may not be covered in flour, and from there hijinks, first dates, and love confessions ensue. 

8. First fandom you ever wrote for?

One Direction and I regret nothing

9. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Ooo  misunderstandings that can be easily resolved if they JUST TALK, found family tropes almost always make me cry, fake dating never fails to make me laugh because the characters never think it through and I love that for them with that being said idiots to lovers is another big one, especially if they share exactly one brain cell. 

10. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

Probably anything dark, nothing wrong with dark fics, I just don’t think I’d ever be able to write a dark fic well enough where it was actually understandable or good for that matter.

11. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

Another One Direction fanfiction, but this time Liam Payne, it's since been deleted but basically gang leader!Liam and the reader were highschool sweethearts and broke up cause Liam betrayed her, if i remember right he gets her brother arrested? Years later she comes back to town and is part of an all girls gang and Liam's gang (One Direction) start fighting over territory, there were drunken confessions, a secret child, and attempted kidnappings and literally every other chapter one of them almost died. Middle school me was very proud of it.

12. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

Steve Rogers x innocent!reader, knight!Bucky x princess!Reader, Evan “Buck” Buckley x reader

13. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Yes, I have so many playlists, everytime I get an idea for a fic I run to Spotify and immediately create a new one and add songs that fit the vibe I’m going for, doesn’t matter what genre or language so long as I think it fits it gets added to the playlist.

14. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

Definitely both, I am not picky whatsoever. 

15. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Omg yes, I honestly think this is part of the reason it’s so hard for me to finish writing anything. The second I get a new idea for a fic I start imagining all sorts of different scenarios I could put them in like trips to the zoo, grocery shopping or like the same scenes from the fic, but from another character's point of view. Even if it’s not going to be part of the fic I imagine what the proposal would be like, what their vows would be, or how they'd react to their first child being born. My mind goes a hundred miles a minute when I get a new idea, but the second I sit down to write it out poof all the ideas are gone.

16. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Honestly smut. There are so many talented writers out there who do a great job at writing smut, but whenever I try it just comes out to stiff and doesn’t sound write, so I always end up deleting it 

17. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I was once told I was very good at descriptions, they said they could picture the night sky in their mind and it was like they were there. 

18. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Eh not really, I usually stick to fluff, humor and slight angst, I want to try step out of my comfort zone by writing smut, but it’ll be a while before I post anything 

19. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Oh my gosh how could I possibly choose, most of the time it just depends what kind of mood I’m in but lately it’s been tooth-rotting fluffy with a tiny bit of angst mixed in

20. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

At this point in time I do not have any oc’s, but I’m considering creating one for my Evan “Buck” Buckley fic. 

21. If you could enter the universe of any one of your fics, which would it be and why?

Probably my WIP Knight!Bucky Barnes x Princess!Reader because who wouldn’t want to be protected by an extremely handsome Bucky who acts like you're a nuisance, but would do anything to protect you no questions asked if ever necessary?? And also I just love the idea of running down a castle hallway at night wearing a floor length ball gown.

22. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

Just that my process involves creating the perfect playlist for that specific fic and tons of daydreaming, and while it may take me a long time to finally finish writing, I’m always excited to share it and get feedback!

23. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. 

This is from my knight!Bucky Barnes x Princess!reader wip                            

“Do you think I am inadequate because I am a female, my Lord? Is that what you’re saying? You think that I am unfit to rule because I'm a little emotional right now?  Well you’re right, I am a little emotional right now. From the moment I was born, it was known that I, and I alone, would be next in line to assume the throne. My entire life was spent preparing for the moment that my reign would begin and I intend to use all the knowledge my father, may God rest his soul, taught me.  Just two weeks ago I watched as they lowered my father’s cold, dead body into the ground and not a week later a crown was placed atop my head…. a crown I thought my father would be giving me.  I am emotional because right now at this very moment there are rebels out there, only God knows where, hatching plans to storm this castle! This castle has stood here for 300 hundred years and I intend for it to stand for many more. I refuse to let the rebels take my country and everything that my family has worked for.  Now, we have much more pressing matters to deal with than your fragile egos, don’t you think my Lords?”

24. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

Have fun with writing! Don’t worry about whether or not the idea you want to write has been written before because it most definitely has been, but it’s never been written by you! 

I’m excited to finally be done with my classes and I hope to to write more and post my fics throughout the summer! 

[spongebob-connoisseur]

Ngl season 15 of Spongebob has been significantly better than season 14 which is kinda funny because this isn't a *real* season 15. It's just the 2nd half of season 14. Regardless I have been liking it more.

Big League Bob, Sheldon Squarepants, Snow Yellow, Pinned, Dome Alone, Wary Gary, etc have been much more enjoyable than the latter half of season 13 and all of season 14. I know however I am biased so take my opinions with a grain of salt but I feel like most of season 14 is either made up of half hearted "sequel" episodes to classic episodes or characters exploring a new location but not much else done with it. Nothing has really clicked with me. On occasion there may be episodes with interesting plot ideas but they always seem to fall flat. I know people have complained that seasons 10-12 have been too expressive and "loud" but there was an attempt to make use of every second of the show and fill it up with gags. Even if not all of them land, there wasn't as much dead air as there is now. It honestly feels like they took fan advice and toned down the show now but now it feels hollow because nothing has really replaced those visual gags. So you end up with boring and monotonous episodes. Even the ones that have potential to be good end up feeling boring. It feels like they're trying too hard to play it safe, that it has become repetitive. Meanwhile The Patrick Star Show had absorbed all of the unique creativity of the show and has become better than the current show in many ways. I honestly end up enjoying it more. I'm getting off topic though.

One thing I had especially noticed was that I really missed Spongebob as a character. I know I have been going on with Slappy brainrot for the past few years but Spongebob has and always been my favorite character in the show. Slappy at this point is kinda tied with him but I feel like I've been neglecting my boy. But sometimes I feel like there's not much to be said about him that I have already said. I know when it comes to yapping about Spongebob, people tend to circlejerk the classic episodes and dunk on the middle seasons and I've done that all already. I feel like everything that can be said about those things have already been said. I have nothing else to add to that discussion. But at the same time time I feel like there was nothing substantial to be said about the character of Spongebob. I feel like he's grown into a background character in his own show. Used as a mascot character doing Spongebobisms but nothing actually substantial. (I mean how substantial can this be? This is a comedy children's cartoon after all)

I don't mind other characters getting the limelight. Squidward has been killing it in the most recent episodes, and unlike most folks, I like most of the newer characters and I don't mind the reuse of older characters and developing them and using them to build a more cohesive world. However I've always felt like something was missing. I felt too fatigued with Spongebob-brain/putting every single thought of mine into this blog/generally hyperfixating on all things Peter Lorre that I just didn't feel like digging into those feelings further. Now I feel a bit more refreshed I want to properly explain what I feel.

I miss Spongebob feeling like a well rounded character. This has been stated before especially talking about the classic seasons but I mean in general. Every season changes spongebob a bit. Whether to meet the popular comedic style of the decade so he stays fresh, or exaggerating him for comedic purposes, or just general different people working on him. I've grown to accept that Spongebob will always change in different eras of the show and I like that (most of the time). I have grown to accept "modern Spongebob" as his own character and I love him and how he interacts with characters. He has some differences from classic Spongebob but the familiarity is there and what I appreciate with him over middle seasons Spongebob was the fact that they were reinserting old character traits and dynamics that were forgotten with the middle seasons. It's never going to be exact but it is more familiar.

Now what is ""modern spongebob"" episodes are rounding close to a decade old, what is post sequel episodes. The current modern™ spongebob now would be post-spinoff spongebob or post-threequel Spongebob. There is a noticeable difference. Things are slowing down, things have felt less and less consistent since season 13. While seasons 10-12 definitely had it's misses, they felt more cohesive than what season 13 was putting out. I have my biases, I liked pretty unpopular episodes, I have bad taste I'll admit that. But especially towards the 2nd half of sesson 13 has felt like a slog. Of doing Spongebob things™ or what we expect of Spongebob rather than anything new and original. Both with the show and the character.

Of course how much could you do with a show that's 25 years old now? We have certain sets of expections for this show and what it can do. I think this is why The Patrick Show is currently having an advantage over the current show. There is no expectation for it. The fandom entirely rejects it. No matter what it will do, will be dunked on but that is also an advantage. There is no expectation on what it can or can't do. They can literally do anything, and that is exactly what they are doing. The show can be excessively morbid, grotesque, ridiculous, all around surrealist. Not having to adhere to any sort of logic. It creates an excessively cartoony show that perhaps may turn people off but has been growing a bit of a following now. Those who want to stay will stay and who doesn't, won't. It's excessively freeing, so the show manages to always feel fresh.

Meanwhile the current show feels like it's walking itself in circles trying to be as safe as possible. Doing what we expect of the characters and the show tropes, they begun to feel shallow, hollow. What is recognizably "Spongebob" on a surface level but nothing with feeling. Nothing that feels genuine. Kamp Koral had the exact same problem on TOP of all of the disadvantages of being a spinoff.

I'm not saying Spongebob needs to throw everything out and start from scratch, otherwise it wouldn't be "Spongebob". However especially with the character of Spongebob. He feels like a sheet. He's in the background as the "mascot" of the show but hardly a character. He does all what we expect him to do; loves his friends, annoys squidward, does his job. But there's nothing more. I've never thought I would find myself craving more. I miss how he'd interact with Patrick. I miss his friendship with Sandy, I miss something more.

When watching the Sandy movie, something stuck out to me. As Spongebob watches his town and his friends being kidnapped. The only one he calls out for and misses is Squidward. What of Gary? What of his best friend Patrick? Only Squidward? Does no one else matter to him? Obviously they do but he feels so single minded. I could'nt help but wonder if that's all?

I could say something similar with Patrick, I think he is the most noticeable especially when you're watching current Spongebob back to back with the current Patrick Show. I am glad they have undone jerky-Patrick from the middle seasons but they have hardly replaced it with anything else. When watching The Patrick Star Show, it is extremely striking how different the two of them are. He has a better range of emotions and interests. He feels more full in a way the main show Patrick just isn't. I don't expect Patrick to be a genius but he isn't enough to carry an episode. This is especially notable with Pet The Rock. I don't mind the whole "Oh you <3" lovable idiot thing they're doing with Patrick now but it's not enough. He's just a figure, like a silly pop up. He isn't enough of a person to last more than a few second gag.

This can extend to the spinoff characters whenever they appear in the main show. I've already yapped enough about Slappy. I don't mind characters who have one gag to tell. Rube is a guilty pleasure character. I like obnoxiously silly sweet characters but I wouldn't mind if they stay exclusively spinoff characters. The main show doesn't know what to do with them outside of letting the audience know what their "schtick" is, so it feels repetitive. In some cases feel like an outright caricatures of what they are compared to the spinoffs.

The more recent season 15 spongebob episodes are certainly not perfect. They feel slow and empty in some cases but it felt so nice to have an episode of just Spongebob in a situation where he has to actually act like a person. I'm sure none of you would find it even ""good"" because it feels so basic but I missed that. I missed Spongebob being a character, handling a situation, how he'd react, how he feels. I never thought I'd miss it so much but I do. I admit I have boring tastes but sometimes I like seeing how a character thinks or does things, even if it's not necessarily funny. (This is why I liked Slappy Daze so much, kill me)

It's not like this trait is incompatible with being funny. That's the next step. But humor takes exaggeration. You need to exaggerate characters to make funny scenarios which means sacrificing their depth for the scenario. Now the question I'd how much sacrifice does that take? This is often what people cite as the reason why the middle seasons are so bad compared to the classic seasons however this problem has begun with season 2. Season 1 may not have been as funny but it had the most character depth. Season 2 was when it began getting chipped away for humor but that does not make it bad. Season 2 is regarded as the best season of the whole show. They key is not to sacrifice too much depth for comedy otherwise you end up with shallow characters in insincere scenarios. There's nothing to hold onto, none of the gags land. It is empty.

The post sequel seasons did revive the show a bit by bringing back old traits as well as changing up the comedy style which refreshed the show. Now we are back at the issue of having chipped away at the characters too much. To refresh the show they have shifted focus to other characters who may have fresher stories to tell. In this case Squidward. I appreciate it but like I said I do end up missing Spongebob. Even when he's there, I feel like he's not.

I still love the show and the franchise. I'll watch new episodes even if they may not always satisfy me. The show is still comfort food for me but I genuinely wonder where this show will go from here. People have already begun calling season 14 is the new dark ages. I don't think so (I can actually sit through them without feeling annoyed unlike seasons 7-9A). But I also can't imagine where it will go from here or if I'll stick around long enough to see that.

[sitp-recs]

HP Rec Fest, Day 19

@hprecfest couldn’t come up with a better prompt on my birthday if they wanted 😂 my moment to be the horny on main has finally come (pun intended) and I had so much fun planning this rec post - it’s been a long time coming too, as naturally this was the very first prompt I checked when the fest started! You can probably guess just by looking at this rec list that I’m a big smut fan and champion. I love reading it, talking about it and reccing it. The fics I reread the most are PWPs and I’m even more obsessed when they offer hot dirty talk (am actually picky about it!) and exceptional character development. In fact, some of the most insightful, sensitive and sophisticated character studies I’ve seen come from deeply underrated smutty fics and I’ll die on this hill!

Today I’m breaking my own rule of only reccing two fics and avoiding stories I’ve recced before because a) this is too good an opportunity to scream about my faves again b) it’s my birthday and I can do whatever I want 😌 the Drarry rec was actually bit more challenging as my usual smutty favorites involve rare pairs. I’ve been working hard to highlight lesser known fics but this time I’m staying true to the request - which of course it’s completely subjective - and chose my favourite even if it’s a widely known and popular fic. I feel so privileged to be reading and reccing these masterpieces as a birthday celebration! You’ll find some of my favourite quotes below, as a treat 🔥

Day 19) fic with the hottest smut

Drarry:

Tales from the Special Branch by Femme (E, WIP)

“You slag," he says, but there's no sharpness to the words. They're warm and soft, and he stills, looking up at Potter, his heart stuttering. "Whore," Potter whispers. It comes out like an endearment, gentle against Draco's jaw.

Draco's eyes flutter shut. His whole body feels heated, flushed, every nerve ending aware of Potter pressed against him. The phial of lube is still clenched tight in his fingers; he lets it slide free, dropping to the coverlet beside them. "I want you," he says. "It's madness, I know. We've lost our bloody minds." He opens his eyes, and Potter's watching him, hair mussed, cheeks pink.

"I can't keep away," Potter says. He strokes a knuckle along Draco's face. "I don't want to keep away."

I considered going for a hidden gem but it was no use, I just had to celebrate this epic classic and stay true to my heart! when it comes to ust and smut imo this is hands down the hottest thing I’ve ever read. there are so many iconic and breathtaking sex scenes it’s impossible to pick just one; I’ve reread most of them more times than I care to admit and they all have carved their way inside my brain. I love how desperately wanton Harry and Draco are for each other in this fic! I keep replaying every dirty word, every slutty kiss, every chaotic and intense af sexual encounter they have over the course of this superb and deliciously long case fic/secret relationship series. at this point everyone and their dog has heard of, and read, this series but if you haven’t yet you’re in for a treat! block your schedule this holiday season and go grab some popcorn for this brilliant masterclass in writing, flangst and smut - so much top notch smut to feast on you’ll want to live in this universe forever. you’re welcome!

Rare pair:

Euphoria by birdsofshore (Albus/Scorpius + Albus/Draco, E, 37k)

"Please." I can see Al's legs quivering. They must be getting tired, hooked over Father's shoulders like that for so long. "Please, Draco. Fuck me. Fuck me some more."

Bloody hell. His words go straight to my prick. Father's arse cheeks clench, and he thrusts forward a little deeper into Al, as if he can't help himself. Al moans, and I don't know what's better, hearing it, or seeing my father's reaction to it.

"Very well." Father pulls back to a kneeling position, his hands gripping Al's thighs. I can see Al's hole stretched around the head of my father's cock. "Watch. You might learn something."

I double dare you to find anything hotter than this fic and believe me, I’ve read TONS of smut across many ships and fandoms. Am I biased due to my particular fondness for age gap and sharing/cuckolding kink? Maybe so 🌝 but I promise you this is unlike any other smut you’ve read before - it’s not only smoking hot with the kind of self-indulgent, relentless athletic sex that leaves you sweating (and horny), it’s also pov multiple written in the first person and how brilliant is that??? birds sells herself short in the AN saying this is just 30k of pure unadulterated porn but I’d argue this is actually a masterpiece, an extremely clever, nuanced and perfectly executed character study, mainly of Scorpius. I am impressed beyond words by what birds was able to deliver in 30k of yes, unapologetic kinky smut. DILF Draco, wanton Albus and sweet conflicted Scorp are a sight to behold and will live rent free in your mind after you read this 🪦

Bonus:

Utter Cockslut (A Worthy Cause) by Lokifan (Drarry, Draco/others, E, 7.5k)

Harry grinned darkly. “All right, Draco, get ready for the last few. Make sure you’re good for them; I’m a man who keeps my promises.”

Draco went up on his toes, craning round to see the next wizard. He strained to make out faces in the murky light; after being fucked by Weasley, he knew it could be almost anyone waiting for their chance to have him.

He felt anxiety shiver through him deliciously. Harry went and spoke to the wizards there, his voice low and businesslike. Giving them instructions on how to use him, maybe? Draco hurt from desire.

gangbang galore!!!! this fic has been one of my favourite PWPs to revisit for some years now. I’ll never get over Lokifan’s smut tbh, every fic was obviously written to check my personal boxes and the pacing, characterization and dialogue are so masterfully done I’m always gutted when it’s over. they’ve written smut for some of my favorite ships and they’re all equally delicious but nothing beats (hehe) this one: downright sinful and decadent as the summary suggests but also surprisingly very sweet! established drarry doing the nasty together is my comfort food and here you can feel how much trust and love they have for each other. Harry & Draco are 100% connected throughout the whole fic and the bits of playful teasing, desperate affection and tender aftercare in-between fucks made me swoon! this is a must read for anyone who loves to see Draco getting some diq and loving it, but also to my fellow Dron fans out there! their smutty times are deliciously hot and so funny too, with a lovable horny Ron being egged on by the devils. HBD me! 😂🎉

[jovies]

i had a big brain moment on the way to work

by which i mean i'm once again going to dx one of my comfort characters as having bpd traits

Spike aka William the Bloody (BtVS)

He's messy, he's passionate, he's malleable! He was a shy, rejection-sensitive poet until he became an overly charismatic, rejection-sensitive killer! He thinks love is everything and gives his many lives meaning! But sometimes that love is not love, it's passionate infatuation and involves repeated unwanted pursuit behaviors (aka stalking). His alliances, stances, loyalties, feelings can often change quickly on a dime! He literally took a coat from someone else and made it his whole look and personal signature style (bpd mirroring behavior to an extreme). He was enmeshed with Dru, hot and cold (mostly cold - abusively so) with Harmony, wanted to be enmeshed with Buffy, did get enmeshed with Buffy through an unstable, destructive relationship. He can be myopically focused only on his own needs (granted he IS a vampire) and fail to see others' unless the situation doesn't involve him, then he can see it more clearly than they can (lovers walk). He has weird chemistry with almost EVERYONE (Xander, Angel) because of his superficial charisma!

He splits (quickly vacillating between adoration/idealization and hatred/devaluation) on Buffy in a big way. She's the ideal women, she's the 'bitch' who won't let him take a stationary 'walk' outside her house every night (ie watching/stalking her), she has 'stupid hair', etc. He does this to Dru as well in "Crush" and Harmony on a regular basis (she's his 'baby', she's an 'idiot', she's adorable, she's his punching bag, etc.)

But most notably: he slides into a LOT of different roles in the show. He's villain, lover, hated ally to buffy in s2, annoyance and philosopher in s3, partly neutralized enemy and thanksgiving dinner 'guest' in s4, stalker and sometimes ally in s5, abuser AND abused in s6, serial killer AND redemptive sacrifice in s7 - then ghost turned ally/comedic sidekick turned final battle warrior in Angel S5. Yes, most of this is due to the writers trying to find ways to use James' appeal as an actor throughout the seasons without having to kill off the character, and reportedly it was difficult to integrate him into the plot in a way that felt organic starting in S4. But the end result of this, factoring in James' chameleon-like and committed performances, is that Spike is a LOT of things and slides into these roles with ease even if they don't fully 'fit' him in a way that feels essential to who he is. That's malleability - that's something people with BPD traits can exhibit and even struggle with. Lack of cohesive sense of self -> trying out different roles based on whomever you are drawn to or idealizing -> altering behavior patterns, style, mode of personal expression, etc.

But most convincingly, his entire identity is based on the strength of his emotions and attachments. They take him down so many paths and change him fundamentally as a person. First Dru then Buffy, from being seduced into becoming a great evil to ultimate sacrifice for love and the forces of good. His entire philosophy of life is that it's driven by romantic passion:

“You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood - blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.”

Listen when I was 14 I was like "huh the excess grandiosity and passionate yet unstable affect and behavior are a vibe here"

And 20 years later I am aggressively tackling my own bpd traits through all the therapy. But was Spike an early awakening of the fact that my emotions run deeper than I'd like? Maybe, maybe not. Still an interesting question.

NOTE: This is just a headcanon/fan analysis using a framework familiar to me. I am NOT seeking to babygirlify or absolve any of his terrible behaviors. I think much of the show is resonant with viewers because many of the characters have a dark arc at some point. Willow is for the perfectionists who hurt themselves and others in their pursuit of avoiding painfully imperfect situations and their own errors. Xander has hero moments but also deep insecurity from his family trauma and a toxic possessiveness of women. Buffy shoulders the weight of the world but finds it hard to express things that torment her internally with those whom she loves. Angelus is the PERFECT metaphor for the cruelty of a first boyfriend who grows cold and abusive after physical intimacy. The show takes us to VERY dark places - and ultimately that is what I take from it, not one relationship, season, or storyline.

[smallnico]

4, 5, and 8 durgetash asks >:3

LONG ASS ANSWER thank u for asking <3

https://www.tumblr.com/smallnico/756672403384434688

read more if you like pain with a side of petty god drama <3

4. Did Durge steal anything for themselves during the heist, or did they only take the crown?

the boring answer is yeah, because esper is a big fan of stealing and will do it with very little justification. i don't have any specific items in mind that they would have stolen, but if something looked valuable and reasonably not-cursed, they would've grabbed it and probably pawned it to helsik or one of gortash's buyers.

the exciting answer is that the hell heist is also the first and only time bhaalist esper stole a kiss from everyone's favourite babygurl. this requires a bit of explanation, but i am happy to provide. >:3

so, bhaal uses esper as an avatar. even when he's not actively superseding their consciousness and using their body as his own, he likes to watch through their eyes and make them feel aggression or agitation or lust or nausea or pleasure or pain, or whatever the situation calls for in order to manipulate them into doing what he wants. esper is fairly resistant to the smaller-scale manipulations or their physical emotions and responses thanks to the bard training from their childhood, but they consider these small signs as missives from the divine (because that's what they are, really) -- warnings to stop what they're doing and do what father says, or else he's going to make you black out and wake up with some fresh bullshit to answer for and deal with. esper fears this loss of control more than anything, so they compensate by being a zealous and committed servant, just so they can at least keep their mind. just so they can have Something.

bhaal is always living in esper's head rent free even when he's not there, panopticon style. this, plus the Gift of Guaranteed Murder (which i interpret for esper as a hyperawareness of signs of life in their surroundings and an inexorable pull toward snuffing them out, Especially when people touch them. esper is constantly bordering on overstimulated by the sound of breathing, heartbeats, body heat, etc., so when they're feeling particularly sick from touch starvation, that's when they get cozy with corpses) is the main cluster of reasons they never actually get with gortash, and actively repress their desire to do so. sure, they're extremely aware of the fact that gortash Wants them and they know the effect they have on him, but the only thing they do about it is manipulate his attentions to their gain. where it starts to get a bit cloudier and less manipulative for them both is on the level of friendship and emotional connection. both gortash and esper are deeply isolated and disconnected people, but through some cosmic tragic joke (hehe) they've ended up in the same fuckin. emotional netherzone. so they're both mutually the only person the other has ever felt they could actually relate to, and the very small vulnerable lonely parts of their souls cling to each other with everything they've got in spite of how much the rest of their selves want to pretend that isn't happening.

so, while they aren't really in love per se, esper needs gortash and gortash needs them, both on a deep, scared lizard brain level. but every time esper (who is by far the more emotionally intelligent person in their diad by virtue of literally being an empath and a psychic) tries to reach out for warmth, tries to satisfy even as much as the gnawing touch starvation they feel because they're terrified of losing what little control they have over their body, bhaal is there to shock them away from it with a cold sweat or a physical disgust, just to warn them away from latching onto anything that distracts them from their purpose -- to help him slaughter everything. so they have to ignore the lengths gortash will go to win their favour. they have to ignore the fact that he's willing to share power with them. they have to ignore the grand gestures, the convoluted schemes, the business dealings he amends to benefit their interests as well as his, the nonsense issues he contrives to find an excuse to spend time with them. the fact that he wants to possess them, but is willing to ignore that want and frame their interactions to pre-emptively satisfy the temple of bhaal's independance from his baneite affairs, because he values esper's company just a little bit more than his own greed. and esper can't Not be aware of this because they can't tune out the information their own magic is giving them.

so, what does the hell heist have to do with all of this? let me tell you. since raphael has the ability to silence the emperor And the voice of bhaal in act 3 when he forces you into a private conversation about the crown of karsus (something that also made esper go a little feral, because What The Fuck, You Can Just Do That, Don't Put It Back, cue a lot of panicking about taking that deal because they want nothing more than to be free from all that shit, but that's another point), and because there aren't really any durge moments in the house of hope (and the emperor is also out of reach down there), i thought it would be fun if bhaal just. couldn't possess them while they were in the hells.

so, imagine you're esper. imagine you're embarking on another heist with your bestie associate, normal as anything, as a part of his grand plan (which he made sure to get your god to sign off on) to steal the crown of karsus and turn the both of you into gods, him for power and you for freedom from your current master shit boss dad beloved dark lord. you have your doubts and don't trust him to not use the crown for himself and make only himself into a god capable of subjugating you, but you find these weird illithid plans you can use instead. it's a lot more complicated, but that's how gortash likes to do things, especially if it means getting to work with you for just a bit longer. he thinks this whole tadpole thing could also help finally make his steel watchers, this project he's been labouring on for years, work. his hands are on the crown, they're on ultimate power, and he's showing you these plans instead, proposing an alternative that will Ensure that you can both conquer the world -- together by necessity -- and leverage your followers against the existing pantheon into granting you mutual godhood. no faith required.

and you realize in that moment that you love him for this. and that the immediate whiplash feeling of violence and hatred and disgust you're used to feeling when you love... isn't there. you can hear his heart hammering in his chest and smell the fear and adrenaline in his system, sense the presence of memories he's pushing down. you know the world around him is soup to him right now. he's suggestible, at this point trying to win you over in the only ways he knows how out of habit, because he's wanted to do it for so long it's second nature even when he's so agitated, when you know that he knows that you know that he knows it'll never work. you think about him. you think about what he's promising you, what he's making inevitable for you by locking the both of you into a gamble that could be a suicide pact, but will ultimately free you, one way or the other, and ensure that you aren't alone while you're waiting for how it turns out, because he'll be there with you. your freedom, and finally, an end to your gnawing, all-consuming loneliness.

and you can't hear your god. and your god can't hear you.

so you grab the man by the shoulders and steal a moment in this tense situation to kiss the fuck out of him. everything you have time for. you justify this uncontrolled, impulsive, opportunistic act of pure fucking id to yourself in hindsight with the usual. you were manipulating him into keeping his promise, obviously. he was too gobsmacked and overwhelmed to absorb what you said to him, but you remember. you were in control. something about making sure he kept his promise. you remember, don't you? you didn't do it for you. you didn't do it to spite your god, or to resist. you would never do something like that.

you remember what you said, right?

anyway, that's what esper stole from the mephistar vault. boy oh boy did they ever have to pay for it though, lol. they started spiralling after, eventually culminating in the prayer for forgiveness and the whole bullshit with orin.

5. What did pre tadpole Durge think of Jergal? Was that mindset in any way influenced by Bhaal?

i think esper didnt consider jergal much, other than as a predecessor to bhaal and an ancient minor deity they had no need to contend with. their opinions were very much influenced by bhaal, and bhaal had no particular reason to suspect jergal of fucking around.

the gods bhaalist esper really had beef with were bane and cyric. bane for the whole you-oppressed-my-god-and-killed-a-bunch-of-bhaalists situation (that manifests as an ideological opposition to doing anything gortash tells them to, among other things) and cyric for the whole bitchass-usurper-who-killed-my-god-and-stole-his-job situation. part of the reason esper hates the zhentarim on principle and sides with the guild during any territorial skirmishes in the area is because they do hold a grudge against the zhents for their not-so-secret cyricist history. one of these days i'll write about that particular death cult political drama, since it's part of my headcanon surrounding the hall of wonders heist -- lots of cyric temples were built out of old bhaalist temples and kept bhaalist relics for show, so it seemed to me like a faction that would be likely to, for example, drag a bunch of stolen bhaalist relics into the city for people to gawp at.

given esper's beef with cyric, i believe the thinking is that while jergal served as his seneschal, he was also working to subvert him, so esper doesn't have a problem with jergal. in a way, esper also serves as a seneschal for bhaal, so if nothing else, they understand that you don't often get to choose your god, and you gotta do what you gotta do to live your life with dignity and take pride in what you do. since jergal wasn't (at least to their knowledge at the time) trying to subvert bhaal, esper didn't count him as an enemy.

post-tadpole (and post-endgame) esper effectively has no choice but to become a jergal stan thanks to withers, but even pre-tadpole their personal philosophy (shackled to, but apart from bhaal) aligned harder with jergal than most gods. they were (and still are) a fatalistic believer that all living things must die, but contrary to bhaal's philosophy, esper likes to look at the bigger picture of their victims' whole lives and the impacts their deaths will have -- when they have the luxury of choice, esper is picky about who they kill, preferring deaths that will create a rippling narrative of fear of murder/bhaal or ones that help to prune away undesired developments in the world, and they get their gay little psychic hands all over the vibes of everyone they meet regardless of their intent to kill them, so it becomes difficult Not to remember those narratives. esper always has a few good stories to tell at the feast of the moon.

8. What were their last words towards each other? And who really got the final say? (Same as prev, be as vague as you'd like)

split this one into two, since there are different answers depending on when you consider their 'last' conversation was!

last words pre-orin:

i don't have any specific words in mind, but i feel like their last conversation before orin's surprise attack was about as normal as any conversation could be after the mess during the hell heist. esper was called to moonrise towers to help ketheric with some strategy he'd been planning to entrap and recruit drow soldiers to appoint as squadron leaders, since the swathes of goblins and reanimated corpses they'd collected wasn't very conducive to organization, and ketheric is a great general, but he's not as feverish a micromanager as esper or gortash are, and the absolute's army needs competent leaders for him to delegate to. esper, being raised as drow, had some insights that could be used to hook good candidates, so they were off to make sure it got done right while gortash and orin (probably; she's a shapeshifter, she's probably still here, right?) kept things under control in baldur's gate.

so esper headed to moonrise, where they provided ketheric with their advice, briefly indulged in a drink and an only sort-of-disguised vent session chastising ketheric for only serving his god because myrkul was essentially holding his love for his daughter hostage. the kind of empty judgement that they pass constantly, but their heart isn't really in, because they're mostly just envious that ketheric's god was willing to let him have Something. cue esper going to the basement and getting vibe checked by orin on bhaal's behalf for being an ingrate.

but the last conversation between esper and gortash was purely business. what are you talking about? nothing happened in the hells, no, of course not. no question that gortash had the last word there, because he always does, he's petty like that. something inane and amiable like "i'll have a list of targets by tomorrow, but i'll make sure the temple doesn't kill them all before you get back," or like, "walk in death, my dear urge, or whatever it is your lot says", or "close the door behind you".

last words pre-gortash dying:

"i think i always liked you, too. but this is how it has to be."

... or some more characteristic equivalent based on that line. gortash learned at the very last minute that esper was right -- they did always like him, because they had the ability to curbstomp him extremely disrespectfully any time they wanted, and they worked very, very hard to avoid doing so. he realizes that esper did care about him, very much, because he was now looking at an esper that didn't care what happened to him. he sees them taking their swords to someone else while karlach is killing him -- annoying and embarrassing, by the way, to be killed by an employee of all things --he sees them let someone else take the kill, breaking their promise that he would die by their hand.

but there's some peace in that. they got out. they said they got out. his empire is crumbling around him, and the only person he's ever loved is abandoning him for a second time, and he hates them, he hates them, he hates them. he'll drag them kicking and screaming into the hells with him if bane ever lets him. but that same small part of him that they had thought died when he lost them for the first time, he can feel it again.

and it's grinning from ear to ear. because the plan worked. he's doomed, but he was right, and it worked. and his last living thought is on getting revenge, just like it's always been.

[aspiringtrashpanda]

PANDA MY LOVE! I have so many questions for you so please bear with me while I get all these emojis out of the way

💖 -> which fic is ur pride n joy?

🤩 -> what’s the most meaningful comment u have ever received?

🙌 -> what’s a line or para that ure proud of?

🤔 -> what are some words or phrases u find urself overusing?

🤷‍♀️ -> what’s a fic u didn’t expect to be popular but rly took off?

🍎 -> what’s smth u learnt while researching for a fic?

😱 -> what’s ur greatest fear as a fic writer?

🛏️ -> what’s a trope u haven’t written but want to?

🌷 -> what’s one of ur fic that isn’t as popular but u hold dear?

I am very curious 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

HYOOOO thank you for the ask 💕 I'm always happy to yap about my fics so I appreciate this so much! 💖 -> which fic is ur pride n joy? HM. Right out of the gate with the tricky questions. The answer changes with each new fandom I write for, as I feel my writing continues to improve, so I'd say my baby right now is The Speedrunner's Guide to Romance (Leviathan x F!Reader). Though, I have big plans for an angsty story that I think will usurp the throne 👀 🤩 -> what’s the most meaningful comment u have ever received? Any comment that points out my writing style, or the characterization of canon characters means the world to me. Of course, I love all comments because I can't believe people take time out of their day to read my trash? but the ones that hit hard are when people point out the little foreshadowing hints, or link a theme together, or just get what I'm trying to do. I think too much about a lot of my fics, so it's nice to feel seen, you know?

🙌 -> what’s a line or para that ure proud of?

Obey Me month had a lot of my best writing, I think. This is probably one of my favorites:

The days go by, Simeon silencing the intrusive thoughts ruminating inside his skull, clinging to the interior slope like a fungus festering from pious neglect. Roots were planted deep in his brain, curling around memories of his brothers’ faces as they tumbled from celestial light, shadowed tendrils tugging at their limbs and stitching up their wounds. The Devildom wove sutures of sin through once heavenly flesh, and now Simeon sees the own red of his wounds turning dark, rotten, evil.

🤔 -> what are some words or phrases u find urself overusing? HAHAHAHA ANY KISSING CLICHES 🤷‍♀️ -> what’s a fic u didn’t expect to be popular but rly took off?

I wrote a SUPER self-indulgent Steven Stone fic and it spiraled into a whole Discord server.

🍎 -> what’s smth u learnt while researching for a fic? Yo, my search history is so sus. I think the most recent fact I learned was that catfish can remember a voice from 5 years prior. 🐟

😱 -> what’s ur greatest fear as a fic writer? Starting fics that I can't finish. There are a few on my Ao3, unfortunately. Stories that I lost inspiration for and can't bring myself to continue, even though I know there's so much potential there. I like to think I've been better at it recently, but I still worry whenever I start something new.

🛏️ -> what’s a trope u haven’t written but want to?

Okay so, I have an idea for an Arranged Marriage!AU. I'm not usually a huge fan of that trope but there's something that tickles me about that trope with a certain OM character... Also anything very very angsty. I write angst often but I'm excited for my upcoming project because it is definitely darker than most of my work.

🌷 -> what’s one of ur fic that isn’t as popular but u hold dear?

One of my early Inuokko (JJK) fics - Portrait of His Sisyphus. I wrote it for an event week, and mashed up every prompt in a reincarnation sort of fic. It has art by @4laurus in every chapter, and I think it's really funky and interesting. THANKS FOR ASKING HYO 💕 Sorry for the rambles, haha.