#aro dean winchester

[schizosamwincester]

The term "aromantic" was first coined and used on the AVEN forums in 2005. Dean Winchester also made his debut in 2005. Coincidence? I think not.

[psychicnatural]

there’s no new aromantic dean content and i know that means maybe i should make some but also that’s a lot of work that i don’t currently have the time or energy for

so if anyone wants to just chat about aro or aspec dean winchester headcanons lmk

[phrysic]

happy pride month but im ace so everyone in spn is on the ace/aro spec now

[quietwingsinthesky]

genuinely, supernatural's most impactful theme to me is the elevation of sam and dean's relationship not just to the same level of importance as any of their romantic relationships, but above them. that we are told time and time again that they will pick each other over any potential love interest, for better and for worse. it would have been extremely easy for the show to sideline that at any time, but it sticks to its guns all 15 seasons (even if the quality of the writing around it. suffers.) sam and dean are the most important people in each other's world, they are blatantly each other's chosen life partners: own a home — adopt a kid — go to heaven together. when they are paralleled to actual married couples, it's the show shaking you and going 'what they have is just as important as a marriage, as a romantic partnership. do not discount it because it is platonic. do not underestimate that love.' it is fantastic.

[hannaxjo]

“ you can’t hc every character as aro” it’s hardly my fault they are all aro

[decapodparty]

jokes aside i always thought it was worth noting that the second dean found real bonds outside of his family he pretty much gave up sex when on screen (until he was a demon but thats a whole can of worms). the moment a steady cast of supporting characters comes in, dean drops the womanizer act like it was burning him up. for simplicity’s sake id say the first long-lasting supporting character we get that isn’t familial would be cas, and sometime around season 5 we no longer see dean hopping bars, bragging about what he’ll do that night. there’s obviously slice girls (s7), but aside from that iirc the only times dean is in a bar, it’s to talk or to drink. as the seasons go on and we collect a small cast of semi-longstanding allies who aren’t even implied to be romantic interests (jody, charlie, kevin, garth, etc), dean’s supposedly salacious nature disappears like it never existed. he makes jokes sometimes but, really, from what i remember, any pursuit of a night out with a stranger is pretty much eviscerated from any on-screen dialogue as early as s5 or 6.

and THEN to open the demon dean ordeal- it’s really interesting that the moment he drops his connections, he goes back to his early season tendencies. it feels like with him, he either has sex or personal bonds, and when friends appear sex is dropped pretty much entirely. personally i choose to interpret it as dean preferring fulfillment from close bonds, and not truly caring for sex as much as the viewer is led to believe.

[newyorkcityaces]

after seeing some Castiel "I love you" SPN memes floating around on tumblr, wanted to make my own. lol.

[fandom-hoarder]

do you really think dean is aro? no judgement, it's a cool thought, i just can't reconcile it with all his secret desires for romantic picnics and an apple pie life

My answer is a little complicated, anon.

Essentially, yes, I headcanon Dean as aro/arospec. But this is a headcanon, not what I think the show intended as canon; much as I'm sure it wasn't their intention to canonize Sam and Dean as a queerplatonic life partnership, nevertheless they did, for those of us who know and appreciate what that is.

I've seen arguments for him being frayromantic (when someone only experiences romantic attraction towards those that they are not deeply connected with, and lose that attraction as they get to know the individuals), and that lends itself well to the way Dean has been shown to be a very romantic lover, I suppose.

But I tend to think of him more as greyromantic (feeling romantic attraction rarely/infrequently, and only under certain circumstances). I think this can account for Cassie and Lisa, and lends itself well to my SamDean headcanons.

Now, as for "all his secret desires for romantic picnics and an apple pie life," I personally think this perspective only works if you haven't finished the series. Particularly if you haven't gone past season 5 or 6.

Now, in s2, we get a glimpse of this idea of Dean's secret "apple pie" desires in What Is and What Should Never Be. But that is less about Dean's romantic desires than it is a manifestation of his boyhood desire for his family to not be affected by the supernatural. For he and Sam to have grown up in a normal, stable family (with normal chores like mowing the lawn for your mom, instead of cleaning the guns for your dad), and for Dean not to be the reason his dad is dead. And once again, Sam is the one with more of an apple pie life, whilst Dean has a reputation for drinking and doesn't have a relationship with Sam.

In s3, we get Dean's dream about Lisa and the picnic. This dream often leads to the interpretation that Dean loved Lisa the whole time, and sometimes causes upset at the apparent slighting of Cassie as Dean's first/true love, but I think it's a mistake to take this dream at face value -- dreams rarely are just what they show, even if spn tends to be heavy handed in their storytelling.

-- again, I think it's less about Dean's romantic desires, and more about the idyllic life he's never been able to have -- and won't get a chance to because of his Hell deal. Lisa is the one in the dream because of that split second where Dean thought Ben could be his son-- in the middle of this middle class neighborhood with a bouncy house and backyard bbq-- and he imagined an entirely different possible life for himself if he wasn't a hunter headed to Hell. Dean is easily baby-trapped, lbr.

Being aromantic doesn't necessarily preclude fantasizing about being able to be romantic, either. Especially if a person is still on their journey of self discovery. Sexual and Romantic orientation are a spectrum, too, and sometimes that spectrum is traveled throughout one's life. And sometimes we spend time fantasizing about the ability/ideal to do what is socially expected of us.

But the Dean of mid-to-late seasons doesn't really show a desire for an "apple pie life" beyond his belief that he wants Sam to have one. He doesn't talk about settling down himself, or show a desire to build lasting romantic relationships with anyone other than Sam, who he married in a handfasting in Sacrifice.

And when Sam asks Dean in Baby if he never thinks about settling down-- well, actually, here's how that post-Piper scene goes:

SAM: Dean, I can explain what was going on -- DEAN: No, no, no. No. SAM: Don't "Night Moves" me. DEAN: Shh. Just let it wash over you. SAM: Let . . . DEAN: Just take it in. Bob Seger’s “Night Moves” plays on the radio.

[The Night Moves interlude, my beloved...but cut for length.]

Let's take a moment here to appreciate Sam's apparent need to explain himself to Dean. 👀

SAM: I tried to give her my number. You know what she said? DEAN: "We got tonight. Who needs tomorrow"? SAM: Is everything a Bob Seger song to you? DEAN: Yes. Well . . . [ sighs ] SAM: It was nice knowing you, Piper. DEAN: Piper? That's awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we're lucky we still get that at all. SAM: Really? You don't . . . Ever want something more?

DEAN: I'm sorry, have you met us? We're batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But . . . Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life? DEAN: Have you not heard a single word Bob's been singing about?

And Dean leaves it at that, but it's pretty clear romance is not something he's really thinking about. He's seemingly fine getting even the small amount of "one night wonders" that 'they' do get. (Another moment here to appreciate that Dean's pronouns are we/us, in a SamAndDean kind of way. --and that this conversation takes place over the course of a very domestic montage.)

Now, granted, at this time they're dealing with the release of the Darkness and all that entails; and granted Dean has been dealing over 3 seasons with the perpetual idea that he should expend his life and soul for the sake of Sam getting that apple pie life; but Dean seems to have left those "domestic" thoughts behind even before he had Castiel wipe Lisa and Ben's minds in s6. Dean's primary domestic relationship is with his brother, and as long as Sam is there, that's alright with Dean.

And what does Amara give Dean as his reward for helping her with Chuck in s11? Mary. Ignoring the later reasoning/retcon that she did it to teach Dean some lesson, we can say that once again Dean's domestic desires are pinpointed as having a fulfilled family life, but not necessarily romantic fulfillment.

And later, when Dean's "greatest desire" comes up again in Lebanon, what does he get from the pearl? He gets his father and mother, alive again under the same roof as him and Sam (and if you want to give subtextual meaning to Doylist ~fanservice~ concerns, wished it so that John and Sam would get along better than they would've if that were the actual 2003!John).

All this, and the fact that he and Sam continued to live and hunt domestically after Chuck was gone, are why I like to headcanon Dean as aro.

[ricky-tiki-tah]

Some character boards for Stanford Era Au Claire and Dean

[warren-keplers-funk-band]

when i tell you i'm arospec what i really mean is that i'm never going to love any real person as much as i do dean winchester

[therainbowwarrior4]

Headcanon LGBTQIA+ Characters For The Last Day of Pride Month 🏳️‍🌈

*These are my personal headcanons.*

Sam and Dean Winchester

Sam and Dean are the main characters from the show Supernatural. Dean is aromantic and Sam is on the aromantic spectrum. They are also in a QPR. (Sam and Dean being in a QPR is canon.)

[schizosamwincester]

Romantic relationships? Absolutely not. I'd fuck my brother before I'd ever be romantically involved with anyone.

- Dean Winchester, probably

[magictreefaust]

Okay but season 11 with aromantic dean.

He's never been in love. I think after season 6 he's aware of that to some extent at least. But he has this connection to Amara, and its weird and it's scary and it's intense and he doesn't even understand it but he hates it.

And everyone keeps comparing it to love. Mildred from 11x11 does the whole "I know when someone's pining over someone else" thing. Amara is his deepest darkest desire in 11x13 and she tells him that the LOVE he feels is "cloaked in shame."

Love has always been this super loaded term that he's on the outside of, but now the scariest thing he's ever felt is being labeled that way.

[m1zumono]

100% fr think dean was aspec

[quietwingsinthesky]

enough ‘is dean gay? is dean bi?’ discourse. Dean being aromantic is the closest thing to canon we have and in this essay I will-

[is-the-character-aroacespec]

Is he demiromantic?

🖤 🩶 💚 🤍 🖤

Reasoning under the cut due to lenght:

I would say Dean is bi-allosexual, but when it comes to his male friends, specifically those where there is tension, it has always seemed to me as tho any romantic feelings came after or could/would come after an emotional connection. Castiel is the most clear example, they had a long deep profound friendship, and I definitely think that Dean romantically had feelings for him after a time of emotional connection. Benny is another example, where they formed an emotional connection, and I think if Dean weren’t already in love with Cas, he might have developed romantic feelings for Benny. There’s a couple other guys I can think of, but I can’t remember their names. The guy he was friends with as a teen who ended up owning a bar, I think Dean might have had romantic feelings for him at one time. There was another who I can’t think of, but pretty much all his male friends that had some sort of tension, to me anything romantic seemed to be dependent on a prior emotional connection. With women… possibly too? But he seemed to fall in love with Lisa pretty quickly, remembering her very fondly after a short fling, same with other girlfriends. But with male friends, anything romantic seemed to need that emotional connection so yeah, homo-demiromantic Dean who is generally bi-allosexual and hetero-alloromantic.