#aro!dean/ace!sam

[fandom-hoarder]

do you really think dean is aro? no judgement, it's a cool thought, i just can't reconcile it with all his secret desires for romantic picnics and an apple pie life

My answer is a little complicated, anon.

Essentially, yes, I headcanon Dean as aro/arospec. But this is a headcanon, not what I think the show intended as canon; much as I'm sure it wasn't their intention to canonize Sam and Dean as a queerplatonic life partnership, nevertheless they did, for those of us who know and appreciate what that is.

I've seen arguments for him being frayromantic (when someone only experiences romantic attraction towards those that they are not deeply connected with, and lose that attraction as they get to know the individuals), and that lends itself well to the way Dean has been shown to be a very romantic lover, I suppose.

But I tend to think of him more as greyromantic (feeling romantic attraction rarely/infrequently, and only under certain circumstances). I think this can account for Cassie and Lisa, and lends itself well to my SamDean headcanons.

Now, as for "all his secret desires for romantic picnics and an apple pie life," I personally think this perspective only works if you haven't finished the series. Particularly if you haven't gone past season 5 or 6.

Now, in s2, we get a glimpse of this idea of Dean's secret "apple pie" desires in What Is and What Should Never Be. But that is less about Dean's romantic desires than it is a manifestation of his boyhood desire for his family to not be affected by the supernatural. For he and Sam to have grown up in a normal, stable family (with normal chores like mowing the lawn for your mom, instead of cleaning the guns for your dad), and for Dean not to be the reason his dad is dead. And once again, Sam is the one with more of an apple pie life, whilst Dean has a reputation for drinking and doesn't have a relationship with Sam.

In s3, we get Dean's dream about Lisa and the picnic. This dream often leads to the interpretation that Dean loved Lisa the whole time, and sometimes causes upset at the apparent slighting of Cassie as Dean's first/true love, but I think it's a mistake to take this dream at face value -- dreams rarely are just what they show, even if spn tends to be heavy handed in their storytelling.

-- again, I think it's less about Dean's romantic desires, and more about the idyllic life he's never been able to have -- and won't get a chance to because of his Hell deal. Lisa is the one in the dream because of that split second where Dean thought Ben could be his son-- in the middle of this middle class neighborhood with a bouncy house and backyard bbq-- and he imagined an entirely different possible life for himself if he wasn't a hunter headed to Hell. Dean is easily baby-trapped, lbr.

Being aromantic doesn't necessarily preclude fantasizing about being able to be romantic, either. Especially if a person is still on their journey of self discovery. Sexual and Romantic orientation are a spectrum, too, and sometimes that spectrum is traveled throughout one's life. And sometimes we spend time fantasizing about the ability/ideal to do what is socially expected of us.

But the Dean of mid-to-late seasons doesn't really show a desire for an "apple pie life" beyond his belief that he wants Sam to have one. He doesn't talk about settling down himself, or show a desire to build lasting romantic relationships with anyone other than Sam, who he married in a handfasting in Sacrifice.

And when Sam asks Dean in Baby if he never thinks about settling down-- well, actually, here's how that post-Piper scene goes:

SAM: Dean, I can explain what was going on -- DEAN: No, no, no. No. SAM: Don't "Night Moves" me. DEAN: Shh. Just let it wash over you. SAM: Let . . . DEAN: Just take it in. Bob Seger’s “Night Moves” plays on the radio.

[The Night Moves interlude, my beloved...but cut for length.]

Let's take a moment here to appreciate Sam's apparent need to explain himself to Dean. 👀

SAM: I tried to give her my number. You know what she said? DEAN: "We got tonight. Who needs tomorrow"? SAM: Is everything a Bob Seger song to you? DEAN: Yes. Well . . . [ sighs ] SAM: It was nice knowing you, Piper. DEAN: Piper? That's awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we're lucky we still get that at all. SAM: Really? You don't . . . Ever want something more?

DEAN: I'm sorry, have you met us? We're batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But . . . Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life? DEAN: Have you not heard a single word Bob's been singing about?

And Dean leaves it at that, but it's pretty clear romance is not something he's really thinking about. He's seemingly fine getting even the small amount of "one night wonders" that 'they' do get. (Another moment here to appreciate that Dean's pronouns are we/us, in a SamAndDean kind of way. --and that this conversation takes place over the course of a very domestic montage.)

Now, granted, at this time they're dealing with the release of the Darkness and all that entails; and granted Dean has been dealing over 3 seasons with the perpetual idea that he should expend his life and soul for the sake of Sam getting that apple pie life; but Dean seems to have left those "domestic" thoughts behind even before he had Castiel wipe Lisa and Ben's minds in s6. Dean's primary domestic relationship is with his brother, and as long as Sam is there, that's alright with Dean.

And what does Amara give Dean as his reward for helping her with Chuck in s11? Mary. Ignoring the later reasoning/retcon that she did it to teach Dean some lesson, we can say that once again Dean's domestic desires are pinpointed as having a fulfilled family life, but not necessarily romantic fulfillment.

And later, when Dean's "greatest desire" comes up again in Lebanon, what does he get from the pearl? He gets his father and mother, alive again under the same roof as him and Sam (and if you want to give subtextual meaning to Doylist ~fanservice~ concerns, wished it so that John and Sam would get along better than they would've if that were the actual 2003!John).

All this, and the fact that he and Sam continued to live and hunt domestically after Chuck was gone, are why I like to headcanon Dean as aro.

[aspecdestiel]

destielpride day 28: family & friends

[mygenderisthattrenchcoat]

I had this idea for a fic, but got stuck and it wasn't going nowhere so here's the basic idea:

Dean takes Cas out so he can get laid, because he's been interested in the concept of sex lately, but Cas isn't attracted to anyone and they come back home and spend the night watching tv instead.

The next morning Sam asks about the night out and Cas tells him he found some pretty intesrestimg people, but he "didn’t feel the urge to have sex with any of them".

"Wait, is this the reason why you gave up?" Dean's question was toned with amusement and followed by and eyeroll to Sam, 'can you believe him?'

Dean frowns when Cas answers with a nod.

"People don't actually do that, man."

"They... do."

"Hate to break that bubble, Sammy, but that’s something they made up to make porn more interesting."

"No, it isn't. Wait, don't you think people are attractive?"

"Where is this coming from? Of course I can appreciate when people are hot."

"So you want to have sex with them because of that."

Dean has to roll his eyes again, how could Sammy not get it?

"No? I have sex because it's fun and that's what you're supposed to do, but it's not like on tv, I won't be upset or frustrated if I don't get laid by someone with pretty eyes and nice smile or something. I thought you had known the basics already, college kid."

"But you check women out!"

"Because that's what men do!" He remembered Dad's implicit lessons (and others not so implicit) after Dean became, well, became Dean at the older Winchester's eyes.

"You have sex all the time!"

"Not in a long while, why would I when we're perfectly happy here? Why are we even having this conversation?"

"Because people do feel attracted to each other."

"Like what? They get an urge and have sex because they looked at each other?" Dean scoffs.

"Well, yes."

Idk what would happen here, Sam probably would try to explain what sexual attraction felt like and Dean would be like ??? No, never felt that.

Okay, it is a lot to take in, but Dean could accept that, especially when Cas said that some people were like Dean and there wasn’t anything wrong with it, not that the hunter was worried or anything. Well, at least he got why people liked sex, it wasn't like Sammy was saying they actually fall in love or actually believed in gender.

[wrenwinchester]

More thoughts about Millie being ace and aro.

She didn’t know what people were talking about when they talked about finding people attractive. She gets the aesthetically pleasing part. But she doesn’t get the actual attraction part.

She didn’t date in high school, in part because Dean was Dean, but also she just wasn’t really into it, or understand it.

Moving around all the time, Millie never had a chance to know someone well enough to even really want to date them, nor does she have time to put effort in to get to know someone.

She doesn’t realize that other people actually want to have sex, like that just doesn’t make sense.

She struggles with wanting someone she can be close with, someone to go on dates with or whatever, but she doesn’t like the idea of dating to find that person, she just wants them to already exist, and it doesn’t have to be in a romantic way, hell, she’s not even sure if she’d want it in a romantic way.

At the same time she wants to have her first kiss, and have different experiences to know what she actually likes, the idea of kissing someone doesn’t feel right.

When she does realize that people actually feel attraction and it’s not a choice it frankly confuses her quite a bit. when Dean gives her the birds and the bees talk (she’s like 15/16 when that happens) she asks if that’s how he experiences attraction and what not and is very confused by his yes.

(Also Sam got the talk from Dean a few years prior. Due to him actually seeming to need to know) Millie finally asked Dean, in part to make him uncomfortable, but also to actually learn and understand because sex Ed in the U.S. is mediocre, and she needed more clarification.

Dean had tried to have the talk with Millie before this point, and she knew enough of what was going on to get the gist of it all, but she really didn’t want to be having this conversation with her older brother, but the time John tried to have the talk with her was like 1000000 times worse.

Upon learning about asexuality, Millie almost immediately placed the label on herself, and she felt understood. (She did get teased by Dean, all in good fun because of his lack of understanding of how someone wouldn’t want sex. (Also because who wouldn’t be into guys and/or girls? But that gets brushed over.))

There’s probably more I have to say, but I need sleep.

In honor of Valentine’s Day in a couple days, I would just like to say that Millie Wren is on the aro/ace spectrum.

[archergramlin]

Supernatural pride headcanons:

Dean- bisexual and cis man. Only homophonic to himself because of John. Is in love with Cas. he/him

Cas- gay, technically non-binary but masc. Is in love with Dean. he/him

Sam- straight and cis man but very much a ally. Don’t even think any homophobic thoughts around him. he/him

Jack- somewhere on the aro ace spectrum. I don’t think he perceptually feels romantic or sexual attraction but he’s definitely curious about it. I can see them reading romance novels to get the idea. Nonbinary and doesn’t really care what pronouns people use for her. he/them/hers

Crowley- either gay or bi, probably cis male but also doesn’t really care what gender he is. he/him/theirs

Rowena- straight but has definitely had a three-sum with a woman, cis woman. An ally since before different sexualities were a thing. she/her

Lucifer- straight and cis man. Outwardly homophobic and transphobic because he likes to be a dick but inwardly doesn’t care. he/him

Gabe- pansexual and gender-fluid but mostly masc. he/they

[arwenadreamer]

Let me tell you a bit about my wonderful, wonderful JiB 11 experiences.

It finally happened! I've met Jared Padalecki!

First thing Saturday morning I went to his auto. I had bought a moose notebook back in 2019 when I got the JiB tickets, and have been waiting to give it to him ever since. He looked at it, then visibly did a double take and started to laugh. I told him "Back when I got the notebook you had this huge hiatus beard!" He smiled, stroked with his knuckles over his own beard and said "I'll get there again!".

Next up was my Jared photo. While I was standing in line for the OP, he made eye contact two times, very briefly, and I almost died on the spot. Lol. I am an aro/ace woman in my fourties, but this man is killing me!

We took the picture, I said thank you and turned away. While I was turning away, his hand stayed on my back, and he rubbed me twice in circles. I don't remember much from this op, but I do remember the feeling of him stroking by back in circles. I also remember the feeling of his chin on top of my head. And how cold that stupid (sorry) Gucci jacket was against my face.

I'm not putting an uncensored picture on here, but believe me, I couldn't smile any more if I tried. I have a look on my face that is completely over the moon, but who can blame me?

With Jensen, I asked him to be hugged from behind, and I really love this photo too. I just wish I had left my jacket on. My bare arms don't look so good on here. But that's just me being self critical. So what the heck, I'm gonna share it with you anyways.

@takikojou and me planned on standing in line for a question at the first panel sunday morning. (A Jared solo panel.) I knew what question I wanted to ask, but I planned on writing it down. Just to be sure I'd get it right.

But while we were sitting in the Saturday evening Jared solo panel, close to the right hand side microphone for questions, the queue on that side was getting shorter and shorter, and suddenly there was no one standing in line at all. On the other side there were still plenty of people queing, and there was also quite some time left on the panel. So I just got up and went up to the micro without thinking. While I was standing there, my heart beat like crazy. I have no idea what was being said during the question Jared was currently answering. I just tried to get the question right in my head. When it was my turn, I asked him:

"At the last JiB I asked Jensen a question for both of you -"

Jared: "I wasn't there last JiB."

Me: "I know."

(That sounded rather rude-ish, but I swear I didn't mean it that way. I was just so incredibly nervouse.)

Me: "I asked Jensen to answer for both of you and he did, but he also said you would probably have this long insidefull answer. So now I'm asking you. What aspect of Sam's and Dean's personality was hardest to act?" And then, because I was kind of besides myself, I felt the need to clarify "Sam, in your case."

Jared said that a lot of Sam came pretty natural to him, and he gives credit for that to the writers who got to know who he is and wrote Sam that way. As an example he mentions Sam's "empathetic puppy dog eyes" written in scripts. He then says that the hardest part to act was Sam's kind of comedy. Because for him Sam's kind of comedy was hard to find. And that maybe that was correct, because Sam didn't think of himself as a funny person. Whereas Cordell Walker's kind of comedy is basically Jared's kind of comedy.

He concluded: "That's my answer. I hope it lived up to Jensen's expectations." Lol.

That's when I messed up completely in my nervousnes. Because I repeated Jensen's answer the wrong way around. Jensen had said for Jared it would be "having a shorter older brother". But I said to Jared:

"Jensen said it would be having a taller older brother."

But Jared, being the intelligent man he is, and knowing Jensen the way he does, immediately made sense of it.

"I guess for me it would be having a shorter older brother. Because my brother is taller than I am. So."

And with that he basically repeated Jensen's answer for him from JiB 12. Lol.

Here's the video, if you're interested. My question starts at around 19:10.

As I've just rewatched the video, I've realised that he was looking at me a lot. Unfortunately, I couldn't really see from my position at the microphone. In a panel on the next day Jared mentions that everybody on that microphone is squinting and shielding their eyes. There was this bright light shining right in peoples eyes over there. They dialed it down a bit after Jared mentioning it on Sunday, but Saturday, I could hardly make him out on stage.

On Sunday came my long awaited J2 OP. I asked them if they could look like Sam and Dean as opposed to Jared and Jensen. They both said sure and we did the OP. When I left I said thank you. Jensen answered in the most Texas drawl "You're welcome!". I loved the way he said it.

I also love the OP! I tried to smile a bit less, to make it more of a Winchester pic. I failed horribly at that. But again, who can blame me?

On my other post someone commented it looks like Sam and Dean are confused that there is someone in between their hug. And that is so true, lol. "Sorry, boy's, I'll get out of your way, now."

When I went to the Jensen auto with my friend, we were waiting in line inside the auto room, even though Jensen was not there yet. But Jared was. He was sitting at the table, giving auto's. I was standing at a point in line that was basically closest to Jared for about 20 to 30 minutes, without my line moving. So I had plenty of time watching Jared from about 3 meters away. And I was blown away by his kindness, his gentle and funny nature. What everyone says about him is absolutely true. He really makes these short interactions for everyone special. And his full attention is at the person in front of him. Always. It's one thing to experience that in person for one short interaction. It's another to witness that with dozen's of people. It's not just one friendly hello after the other. (Which, honestly, would be enough to ask for.) It's that his facial expression changes with every person. With some he laughs, with some he's serious. He's listening intently if someone talks to him. I could't here what was being said (and wouldn't have wanted to eavesdrop anyway), and couldn't see what he signed. But I saw his face. I saw he reacted to that. And it never seemed forced. He just is that kind of person. Genuine. Empathetic. I only saw one thing given to him. And I had to laugh. Someone brought him Haribo gummy bears. He was so FAST taking that and slipping it into the bag for presents he had behind the table. It was a blink and you'll miss it moment. Lol. I guess that's also genuinely him. He loves his sweets.

Then Jensen arrived and I had my autograph. He was really, really nice and attentive too. Jensen also always makes sure to look up at the end of each auto and look people in the eye.

I had so many great interactions throughout the convention, and everything I had hoped for had come true already. There were just a few panels left I wanted to watch.

So @takikojou and I went into the panel room for the Jared and Misha panel. And she points out that there is no-one at the microphone on the left hand side yet. She asked me to stand in line with her. So I did. I quickly came up with a question for both of them. I didn't want to ask a Jared only question at a Mishalecki panel. I thought that would be rude.

So I wanted to ask where in Germany besides Berlin they had been. I thought this would be a short question with short answers, nothing special. But then Jared Padalecki basically had a whole conversation with me, and it turned into the most amazing moment of the whole JiB convention!

I'll leave the link here. It starts at 7:20

You may have seen videos where people stand in the hallway at the end of JiB con, and the actors come out to walk through the people, giving high fives and stuff. There's a small area where people can stand, behind barrier tapes. When my friends and me came out of the panel room, that area was already crowded. So we just left the convention area through a hallway in which no-one was allowed to stand. But at the end of the hallway people gathered again. My friends and I got a really good place there, right at the end of the hallway, where the room opens again. Security quickly put up more barrier tapes. So basically, it was a espallier (? that what you call it? ) of people, then a hallway, and then another espallier of people, forming one long line.

People in the first area where shouting for Jensen to come out, and he did. But he didn't see us down at the second area at the end of the hallway, so the turned around and went back into the green room again. Same with Jared after that. They just didn't see us. I know because I was the first person at the end of the hallway and had a perfect view all the way up. They didn't even look in our direction. And they couldn't hear us over the loud crowd in area one.

Then came Rob, and he saw us. When he realised there were so many more people down there, he just started a sprint and came to us. The security guard accompaniying him was completely taken by surprise and had trouble keeping up, lol. Rob went through our row, and so did every other actor after that.

Matt Cohen was last. He went through our row, and when he came back, while passing me, I asked him:

"Matt, can you ask Jared and Jensen to come down here as well?"

He said he would. And he did.

A few minutes later all the actors came out together, and they all came into our second area.

I thought that was a pretty great grand finale. But then my friend surprised me with a can of FBBC beer she had brought from Austin to share with me. And that was just the crown on top of an overwhelming, amazing, wonderful weekend. I had the time of my life! And I am so grateful I got to share it all with @takikojou and M. It would not have been half as wonderful without you two!

[profoundbondfanfic]

Here's more of our favorite aro/ace/demi fics!

Part 2

Fucking Hollywood by JessJesstheBest [Teen, 1,8K, Aro!Dean]

“Okay…” he started, aware that the only way out of this conversation was through. “So I admit, I don’t know a whole lot about,” he gestured vaguely at Sam. “That. But me, personally, I have a hard time telling the difference between romantic and platonic love.” “So like aromanticism.” “No, what?” Dean glanced at Sam who was looking at him weirdly. “I don’t know. But one of the only ways I know how to confirm the difference is with sex.” Or the boys have a discussion about media theory and Dean learns a new word.

reckless, not reason by sharkfish [Teen, 6K, Ace!Dean]

“When I requested a — you know. ‘Companion.’ I was just being selfish,” Dean says. “So fucking selfish that I didn’t even think about what it would be like for you.” “Don’t worry,” Cas says, almost as if from outside himself. “It was either you or someone else. Perhaps someone worse.” “It’s a big deal to my dad for me to get mated. He’s always trying to match me with some asshole or another, and I — I can’t, Cas.” He drops his head into his hands, rubbing furiously at his eyes. “I’m fucked up, I guess, because I just — I can’t be a mate to someone, not for real. I can’t — consummate, or whatever.”

Enough by Bookkbaby [Teen, 1,3K, Ace!Cas]

“If I am… not enough,” Cas starts, voice hushed but quick. “Please, just… just tell me before you find someone else.”

Exposed to What You Hide by SailorChibi [Teen, 1,8K, Ace!Cas]

"We think Cas is a procubus," Sam blurted out. Then he winced and yelped when Charlie kicked him under the table. "Ow!" "Smooth, Sam," Charlie snapped. Dean looked back and forth between them, realizing that they were both 100% serious. "A procubus." "Basically it's the sexless version of an incubus or a succubus," Charlie explained before Sam could. "It's… it's a demon that kills people by sleeping with them." She was chewing on her thumbnail now, eyes big and apologetic. Sam had done one better pasting on a truly epic kicked puppy expression of apology. "You think Cas is killing people by cuddling with them," Dean said, just to be sure.

Obey His Word by K_K_TiBal [Teen, 33,8K, Demi!Cas]

When Castiel was ten years old, he was cursed to always be obedient. Now he’s a hunter—not the best one at his job, admittedly, since he’s always forced to comply with the monsters that beg for their life. Everything changes on one such hunt, when an angel named Dean saves his life, and tells Castiel that he’s searching for his missing brother, Sam. His naive callousness about humans and give-em-Hell attitude is off-putting, but Dean ends up being exactly what Castiel didn’t know he needed. As he grows closer to Dean, he tries to keep the secret of the curse close to his chest—but the past always has a way of exposing the truth. Curses are hard—but trust is harder.

everyone for someone by sharkfish [Teen, 1,4K, Ace!Cas]

Dean holds Cas, firm but gentle, until Cas pulls away. “How was that?” Dean asks quietly. “Very nice,” Cas says. “It’s been — a very long time, since someone hugged me like that without expectation.” “I hear that a lot,” Dean says, resting his hand on Cas’s knee. “It’s easy to forget how lonely we are.”

[mayalaen]

what i'm working on

Somebody asked me to post titles and summaries of what I'm working on. I don't think they expected THIS much but I always have tons of stuff in my working folder.

In His Image - (ST) the Steddie genderswap fic I'm currently posting.

CONventional Psychopathy Part 4 - (SPN) Dean takes Cas to Gadreel's loft to recover. Also working on Part 5, 6, and 7.

How I Spent My Summer Probation - (ST) Eddie fic with disciplinarian Uncle Wayne and Papa Hopper

OCF - (ST) omegas in a correctional facility for a certain Fishie

Eyeless (named after the Slipknot song) (Fargo/ST) Gator from Fargo in prison with Billy and Eddie fic

Bullseye Studios - (ST) a pr0n studio just outside Hawkins

The Billionaires' Club - (SPN AU) Billionaires are outlawed and once they hit $1b in assets, they're assigned a caretaker who disciplines them and keeps them from being evil.

?Vampires? - (SPN/AtS/BtVS) Dean gets turned by Spike and has his entire life changed in the blink of an eye.

?Interrogation Room? - (ST) shortfic? where Hopper decides Eddie, Billy, and Steve have gotten into too much trouble and need a firm hand so he spanks them in the interrogation room but oops Billy likes it!

?Eddie Has Siblings? - (ST) Eddie has an abusive older brother and sister. Wayne got him away from them, but they've come to Hawkins to visit baby brother.

Caging the Mongoose Timestamp - (SPN) Dean fucks up. Bad. And on purpose for attention. So he gets spanked right in an interrogation room in The Post Office by Dembe and Cooper.

A Faceless Demon - (SPN) KinkDotCom fusion with Van helping Dean let go of some shit.

You Live Here Now - (Fargo/ST) Munch doesn't blind Gator. He drops him off at a ranch in Hawkins, Indiana instead where Hopper, Billy, and a few others help rehabilitate him against his will.

?Eddie & The Basketball Team? - (ST) Eddie gets into a bad situation at a party. Billy's there to pick up the pieces.

??? - (ST/HDM) Future fic with daemons where Billy is a firefighter living with an abusive partner but his daemon thinks that paramedic guy is a much better partner, and she also thinks his daemon is hot.

Billy Has to Ask - (ST) Max is sick of Billy's shit. El scares the shit out of him and from then on he mostly does what Max says. If he fucks up, she makes him go to an adult and ask for a spanking.

??? - (X-Files/SPN) Sam and Dean are undercover but so are Skinner and Mulder. Skinner doesn't like Dean's attitude or Sam's arguments, so he puts them under FBI care. Namely himself.

?Threesome Soulmate AU? - I don't even know what fandom I want this in but it's an idea that's been stuck in my head for years and wants to come out. An aro, an ace, and a demi are all very reluctant soulmates.

Long Distance Call - (SPN) Dean's an omega without an alpha until their newest roommate, Pamela Barnes, moves in.

I'm probably missing a few, but there ya go!

[cas-coding]

hi hi writing a fic with a bunch of spn characters coming out multiple times as they discover their identities more!! so far it will have

dean, first as ftm trans and then later as bisexual as he reevaluates his attraction to men (hint hint its not just gender envy babe)

jo, first as bisexual, then as a lesbian after she confronts her comphet (lovely wonderful conversation with ellen where she describes everything <3)

cas, first as ace and then as agender (yes im literally making everyone queer i thought we figured that out by now)

sam, first as pan and then as nonbinary (literally one of my fav hcs)

jack, first as queer and then as genderfluid (slayyy)

meg, revealing she is aro to cas and then talking to them about her past male vessels (she is mtf!)

yall should rb or comment anyone else you want me to throw in the mix + what they would come out as (ill probably agree, spn is all kinds of queer !!)

[eucharistsamruby]

Ooo you think Dean is aromantic gay? 👀 If you want, can you share what made you come to this conclusion/headcannon? Because I love aromantic Dean myself!! ♥️💞

i’m wishy-washy on the gay part but i believe WHOLEHEARTEDLY in aro dean. also i have been relatively inactive in this fandom for like a year so my apologies if i am forgetting things

as far as i can remember he only ever expresses romantic interest in cassie and lisa, and i think it’s significant that he originally met both of them when sam was at stanford and the only reason he had any sort of long-term relationship with lisa was because sam was dead and had told him to go find her. i think he is motivated by family and companionship and belonging, and he ran to romantic relationships to find that when the family he already had collapsed. and as someone who’s really absorbed and internalized a lot of the patriarchal, heteronormative, amatonormative, capitalist, etc. messaging of our society of course if his birth family is gone he’s going to try to find family the only other socially approved way. his gf in what is and what should never be is a random model his psyche inserts bc it’s what he’s supposed to want and he basically ignores her the entire time in favor of family. maybe i’m just projecting bc i know sometimes i feel this pressure to find a romantic partner not because i want one but because i want companionship and commitment and my friends are all coupled up so where the hell else am i gonna find it but i do really see that in dean. i’ve seen the siren from sex and violence used to support wincest and bizarrely destiel but to me it just solidifies aro dean. platonic love is what’s important to him and what he feels strongly enough for it to be destructive and all-consuming.

for the gay part honestly i could go gay bi or even ace but i do lean gay or gray-ace and gay. his intimacy generally lies with men, and there’s a lot of repressed gay shit about him. dr sexy, benny, that guy whose name i can’t remember played by christian kane, ketch for a bit there, etc. he def had a high libido when young plus internalized homophobia which is why he was sleeping with a bunch of women but he mostly stops being interested as he gets older and once they settle in the bunker. he finds other sources of pleasure and comfort than casual sex, some healthier and some far less healthy. idk exactly where i’m going with this but i just don’t think he’s actually for real into women

[deanbrainrotwritings]

— a b o u t m e ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

eris | 21 | infj | she/her | aro-ace | latina 🇲🇽 | deancoded deangirl

— COMFORT CHARACTERS

dean winchester, the doctor, wanda maximoff, cayde-6

— FAVOURITE CHARACTERS

donna noble, link, mobius, obi-wan kenobi, eric effiong, anakin skywalker, beau arlen, soldier boy, clara oswald, amy pond, 12th doctor, daenerys targaryen, sirius black, din djarin, r2d2, matt murdock, like uh all ryan gosling’s characters

— FAVOURITE SERIES AND MOVIES

supernatural, lars and the real girl, the fall guy, resident alien, the winchesters, doctor who, the boys, scooby-doo, the grand tour, heroes, gen v, big sky, marvel, dc comics, fallout, extraordinary attorney woo, the last of us, bullet train, the mandalorian, dark angel, sex education, business proposal, hannibal, strong girl bong-soon, weightlifting fairy kim bok-joo, modern family, parks and recreation, good omens, sherlock holmes, bee and puppycat, game of thrones, buffy the vampire slayer, harry potter, john wick, star wars, the sandman, the umbrella academy, adventure time, brooklyn 99, invader zim, dexter, tombstone, austin powers, mega mind, scott pilgrim vs. the world, teen wolf, the king : eternal monarch, ten inch hero, the vampire diaries, the devil’s hour, narcos, my bloody valentine, miraculous ladybug, the originals, a monster calls, smallville, the walking dead, you, the magicians, merlin, once upon a time, criminal minds, house md, devour, fairly odd parents, true crime, dawson’s creek + more

— FAVOURITE DUOS

merlin & arthur, twelve & clara, ten & donna, house & wilson, scooby-doo & shaggy, link & midna, sherlock & john, c3po & r2d2, nikki & pug, anakin & obiwan, anakin & ahsoka, din djarin & grogu, mobius & loki, lemon & tangerine, ron & april, stiles & derek, natasha & clint

— FAVOURITE SHIPS

wanda/vision, wanda/loki, thor/jane, river/the doctor, amy/rory, vastra/jenny, jo/dean, cassie/dean, lisa/dean, bela/dean, jessica/sam, rowena/sam, eileen/sam, jody/donna, meg/castiel, charlie/jo, saint-14/osiris, eris/drifter, ray holt/kevin, tara/willow, spike/buffy, sirius/remus, andy/april, jordan/marie, lucifer/chloe

— OTHER FAVOURITE THINGS

destiny, legend of zelda, bts, muse, avenged sevenfold, led zeppelin, radio company, my chemical romance, fall out boy, waterparks (band), lots of music, coconut milk, cooking/baking, drawing, tea, coffee, honey, chocolate, spicy foods, doughnuts, all shades of green, books, astronomy, physics, liquid eyeliner, bees, animals, silly pens, rocks, dinosaurs, flowers/plants, comic books, paradoxes, carl jung, friedrich nietzsche, cowboys, soft blankets, superheroes, fun socks, shoes, bags, lip tint>>>

© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO DEANBRAINROTWRITINGS

do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or republish my work on another platform

[dotthings]

A few days after the anniversary of the final episode of spn, I had a thought of certain J*red stans and how they've continued their performative preachiness about how the ending of spn was a celebration of platonic love. When in reality, most of them are covertly or overtly romanticizing or even outright sexualizing Sam and Dean's bond. It's not honest, all this talk from some of those accounts about aro/ace rep and how revolutionary it is to see a tv series celebrate a platonic bond.

If platonic bonds are so important, why do they not ask where are the other platonic bonds in 15.20?

Note -- I really love sibling bonds in media, and friendships, but I appreciate romantic bonds in stories too. It's that theme of love, of any kind, that's an avenue for compelling stories. And I will get big feelings over platonic bonds or ships.

I think these stans have created a myth about the alleged devaluing of platonic bonds and their hostility towards romantic bonds on spn is merely performative. They do not in fact dislike shipping and romance. It's only for spn and only for their lens on Sam and Dean.

Let's pretend for a moment, the limits of the DeanCas bond is that to Cas, Dean is a brother. This is a limitation the J*red stan lane especially likes to yell is the only truth and anyone who understands DeanCas is many things is "delusional." Okay. Let's roll with that for a moment. All right then. Dean and Cas brotherhood forever. So...

Where's Cas?

Bobby, who in fact is Dean's father of the heart, the most solid father figure Dean ever had. Who is closer to Dean than his own father was. He gets a cameo appearance, but the relationship is barely depicted, there's very little emotion in their reunion.

Let's say Sam and Eileen are better as friends than lovers. Sam and Eileen friendship forever. Let's wipe that romance off the board, they still were very important to each other. Where's Eileen in Sam's life? Apparently he lost her number. Oh but we're free to imagine that blurry wife is Eileen if we want.

What about Eileen, as Sam's friend? Where is she?

Jody and Donna were Sam and Dean's family. Where are Jody and Donna? Nah, Sam and Dean forgot their number, and this is somehow an epic celebration of the power of platonic love. Sure.

Sam didn't invite anyone to the funeral for Dean.

Dean cared about Claire like a big brother or paternal figure…where's Claire?

Garth is one of Sam and Dean's best friends. Where's Garth?

Where's og Charlie, who Dean regarded as his little sister?

I could name many more.

These are questions J*red stans don't ask because they don't really care.

And they have missed the entire point of Supernatural.

What is spn about? Heart bonds. Love. Of all kinds. Using the central "engine" of Sam and Dean's bond as the foundations, but it misses the point of the series severely to really believe that means Sam and Dean are the entire point, the only point, and the only thing that matters.

And I don't care if the J*red stan account is an openly vitriolic w*ncest shipping Misha hater fixated against Destiel and who tinhats J2, or a mild-mannered veneer J*red stan account who parades non-shipper like a badge but covertly romanticizes the brother bond and pushes hard to reinforce that Sam and Dean are All That Matter and who virtue signals about what revolutionary representation it is that a sibling bond was the only thing that got celebrated by the series finale of a 327 episode saga that featured many different close heart bonds over the years. It's the same thing if you peek inside, and it's insincere. The virtue signaling and appropriating about "representation" is meaningless. Their lens is about exclusion and erasure not love.

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Bonding Over Books

Bonding Over Books https://ift.tt/38aFB0f by AmieWritesFic “Dammit, Bradbury! Answer the phone” Dean muttered as his best friend’s line went unanswered. He knew better than to call her instead of texting, but this was an emergency. On the last ring, an irritated voice picks up. “What is it, Winchester? It’s way too early.” Dean glanced at the clock, it was almost noon, but his friend was probably up all night gaming. “Charlie, it’s a code red. I may have accidentally come out to my dad.” _____ In which a closeted Dean has been in love with Cas for years, but can barely talk to him until a series of unfortunate and awkward events and a love of old books brings them together. Words: 1915, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Charlie Bradbury, Meg Masters, Gertrude Middleton, Ash (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Jessica Moore, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Lee Webb, Lisa Braeden Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Meg Masters Additional Tags: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, classic literature, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, No beta we die like winchesters, But I did proofread like 10 times, Art to come, Charlie's mom is like top tier Jody level mom, Ace/Aro Spectrum Meg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Fluff and Angst, Mostly Fluff via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/VOdUk7M February 09, 2023 at 04:38PM

[pinkrangerv]

Also let's remember: Aro and ace identities are ALSO queer.

Dean likes sex...but Dean hates the idea of getting married. He loves Castiel, and Castiel loves him, but neither of them, canonically, WANT to date or get married.

That's a queerplatonic relationship, with Dean and Castiel both aromantic, and Castiel possibly asexual. IN CANON.

Sam? He likes sex...sometimes. But he's very romance-focused, and sex is more of a 'sometimes' thing for him. So he's somewhere on the aro spectrum.

For a lot of people who are aro or ace, it's normal to have a primary relationship that isn't a dating one. Sam and Dean tried to make their brotherhood that relationship, and added Castiel together--Castiel is qpr with Dean, but he and Sam are ALSO deeply involved, though in a less-defined way.

ALL THE BOYS ARE QUEER AS FUCK. It's just that 'gay' isn't quite the right word. They're all aro or ace, and they're very canonically expressing it.

This was all said in 2020 but supernatural neuters homosexuality to such an insane degree which is, to be clear, homophobic. But it also means little miss up for interpretation is pretty fucked: re scraping out a believable heterosexual living. Gay couples in supernatural DONT say they’re gay they DONT kiss they DONT say yes I am a man. Who is attracted to men. So the fact that Dean doesn’t do any of that. Does not detract from the idea of him being gay. Dean seeing two married men: what’s it like settling down with a hunter? no gay person says the word gay at any point ever to describe themselves. Dean also doesn’t do this. He is also living a neutered homosexual lifestyle, as is the norm in the cw’s supernatural 2005-2020

[profoundbondfanfic]

Fourth list with our favorite aro/ace/demi fics 💜

Part 4

Ace=/=Aro by Unforth [Mature, <1K, Aro!Dean]

Ficlet written to the Tumblr Prompt: Aro Dean calls Cas "buddy" and "pal" and "devastatingly handsome friend" because he really believes that and the guy's really, really hot and always licks his lips because they're so chapped and dry. Dean obviously has to kiss him to get him to stop. Only problem is, Cas thought Dean was ace, not aro (thank you very much, small town gossip, for mixing everything up), and he is very confused by this.

Halflings by Unforth [Explicit, 103K, Demi!Cas]

Ever since his wife Lisa died, Dean Winchester has been willing to do anything for his son Ben. When Ben decided he wanted to adopt a halfling, Dean said yes without hesitation - provided they did so the right way, by giving whichever half-human they decided to bring home the respect and dignity it deserved. Half-octopi Castiel isn't exactly what they were looking for in a pet, but, then, they aren't exactly what Castiel was expecting for owners, either.

honeysuckle by sharkfish [Teen, 3,9K, Demi!Dean, Ace!Cas]

“Your omega’s here, ok? Everything’s ok.” Cas closes his eyes and leans a little into Dean’s solid warmth. His omega is here. He can smell them all over each other already. “You made me such a nice nest, too.” Dean’s voice is low, honeyed and soft. He smells sweeter, it hangs thick and heavy in the air. “Show me.”

Never Trust a Skinny Baker by mnwood [General, 11K, Aro!Dean]

Dean owns a bakery. Cas is a patron who can't hear, and Dean happens to know sign language. This fic has all the tropes you know and love so get reading, fuckos.

Smells Like Love by shiphitsthefan [Teen, 1,5K, Aro!Dean, Aro!Cas]

Five times Sam tried to tell Dean he was aromantic, and one time Dean told someone else.

Dear Virgo by K_K_TiBal [General, 9,9K, Ace!Cas]

Dean Winchester is a journalism major planning to coast his last year by mostly just sticking to writing the campus newspaper's daily horoscopes, and he almost succeeds. Enter Castiel Novak, captain of the soccer team, and his next interview appointment. It's obvious from the start that there's something between them, but things don't quite go as Dean first hopes, and he ends up learning a lot more about Castiel than he ever planned on - luckily for him.

Sparks by vipjuly [Explicit, 21K, Demi!Dean, Demi!Cas]

The creepy house on the corner has been abandoned for years, everyone says. It's ramshackle and decrepit, the yard overgrown, the wrought iron fence bent and broken in some places. The adults in the neighborhood have asked the city to do something about that eyesore for so long, but the city insists that someone is paying property taxes on the house, therefore they cannot do anything about it. So, everyone ignores it and pretends it doesn't exist. They definitely don't go anywhere near it, either. Dean, though. Dean is drawn to it as if by gravity. Little by little, Dean repairs what he can. The monster inside the house ain't so bad, either. Y'know. For a monster.

Decompression Therapy by TheAuthorGod [Explicit, 6K, Aro!Dean]

For AroDeanWeek 2015 Dean is a sex therapist. He's good at it; he helps people. He doesn't get attached to people romantically, so he's a better fit for the job than most. Complications don't arise until he starts to feel something totally new for his best friend Castiel Novak. I mean, it's not like he hasn't been around Cas his entire life or like he's not living with him and helping him raise his niece turned daughter. Dean just needs to deal.

[pinkrangerv]

Supernatural isn't canonically anything. They barely know that queer people exist, just enough to make homophobic jokes and do the "bury your gays" trope

So the post you're referring to is one where we're discussing queer subtext. Yes, the SPN writers did in fact know what queer people are, and probably knew about aromanticism and asexuality--those two, not by name, but queer people did not suddenly start existing in 2014. They knew. That's why Charlie was a character. She was lesbian. That was textual. They really, really knew gay people existed.

SPN writers not only understood aromanticism and asexuality, they very lovingly wrote an entire series that makes an insane amount of sense from that lens. Sure, those words are obscure to your average rando straight, but consider:

Neither Dean or Sam have a girlfriend (past Jessie). Dean never even has a girlfriend in the first place. Past Jessie's death, Dean has sex and Sam occasionally finds a girl, but for all Sam's torn about it, the 'important' relationship in life is as brothers.

Castiel doesn't sleep with Dean, nor does he date him. But Castiel says he has a profound bond with him, from early on, and he'll drop everything to go spend time with Dean and Sam.

These relationships exist in real life. They're queer relationships--aromantic and asexual ones. Castiel and Dean canonically have a queerplatonic relationship, because that's what that means: they are functioning as a married couple, but don't do the 'married' bits. Sam and Dean have a familial relationship and don't break apart for other ones; this is common with asexual or aromantic people.

Without these relationships, there's no plot. There's no Supernatural. Sure, if you'd asked the writers, they wouldn't have known the words--but these are very, very much queer themes. They're just not gay themes.

It's kind of ridiculous to say that anyone, in any part of history, doesn't understand that queer people exist. The SPN writers did not live under a rock. They may not have approved of being gay, sure, but you don't write an entire show requiring asexual relationships without having an understanding it exists. They were grown adults, not five-year-olds. Yes, they put that in on purpose, no matter what they thought the name was.

If you have gay headcanons, great, go for it. But claiming that the entire premise of the show is somehow 'not really aro\ace' because you really want gay sex? Yeah, this is not canon. It's your headcanon. That's not bad, either! Fandom involves thousands of alternate universes, and what-ifs, and all kinds of headcanons--it's a vital part of it! It's not somehow 'lesser' for your headcanon not to be canon.

But canonically, the queer themes in the text of SPN are aro\ace. Charlie is gay. But the Winchesters and Castiel are not.