#or bribe selina

[emacrow]

Robin met Nekomata

Previous original plot

Batman have been getting heist reports committed for the past 3 months all jewelry related along with cat themes ones.

Batman had check and rechecked 17 times in the vide surveillance camera and only see a glitchy mesh of some glowing green cat slits eyes before statics and then the jewelries goes missing without triggering any alarms in seconds..

Batman had Robin after they searched through most of Catwomens hideouts, only getting lucky on the 9th one ironically.

Selina was viewing a beautiful ancient vase of a cat made with pure Green Jade with a glee in her eyes before Batman and Robin smashed down from the glass ceiling of the warehouse.

"Catwomen." Bruce said looming menacing in his batsuit. Robin on guard in the back taking in the sight before him.

"Aw, Batman~ what a purrrrrrfect surprise to see you again~." Selina said smiling with her black lipstick gleaming a bit, gently putting down the jade vase back into the comfy cushioned containment wooden box.

Robin could see a numerous of cat related jewelry was almost overwhelming behind selina, but then something didn't seem right before Robin noticed a tiny bundle of blankets and a NASA rocket ship.

Before he could tell batman about what he observed, he was suddenly slammed into the blind side on the left, before he could wack whoever slammed into with his boa, it was missing from his hands..

And the culprit was zooming at top speed in front of Selina.

It was a meta toddler holding his Boa with two tails .., with the most excited face as if he was about to bounce off the walls.

"I see you met my newest stray, Nekomata~. You did a great job hun." Selina said petting the little cat like boy who was purring louder then motor.

Robin has several questions as he trying not to mentally adopt the cat like meta child. (But it a cat, and cats are animals and he wanna know badly where he can get one of those or somehow steal Bruce adoption forms to bribe selina into keeping that precious kitty right there)

[apatheticsunday]

Henchmen for Hire

AKA "Danny is employed as one of the Rogue's henchmen and he's doing so well at being discrete, none of the Bats even know he's committing crime! (They absolutely know.)" prompt idea!!

Y'know what would make this funnier?? Is if Selina Kyle, Catwoman and hoarder of strays, immediately Work Mom'd this kid.

Imagine Danny gets dumped into Gotham by himself. Except there's, like, no ectoplasm - not nearly enough to sustain his Ghost. So, his Ghost form slowly peters out and he's left penniless and powerless on the streets of Gotham. Obviously, the next step would be to find money. But how?? He can't go invisible, intangible, or Full Ghost to help him out here. And there aren't a lot of stand-up places that hire kids younger than 13, so ultimately he's forced to apply for henchmen positions. He doesn't actually find Catwoman's ad. No, she hears through the grapevine that this actual child is applying to be a drug runner for the Penguin or - oh, shit, the Joker??

Absolutely not. Selina is no saint, but she's not going to let another kid be beaten to death by the Joker. Maybe she talks to Harley and finds out where the kid's going, or maybe she just puts in an ad and hires him on the spot. To be honest, she doesn't really expect to particularly like the kid - she'll have him pick up her coffee or something, pay him at the end of the day (standard henchmen pay periods since it's likely they won't live through the end of the week), and clear her conscience.

Except Danny is a little shit.

Danny, for his part, doesn't necessarily want to be a henchman but he figured it'd be more than getting some lady's coffee, right? He imagined an evil man twirling his extra long mustache and smoking a cigar, or mobsters hunched over a gambling table grunting about... playing cards or something, he doesn't know. Instead Danny's told to pick up Catwoman's dry-cleaning. It's almost an insult when he knows she's planning a heist that includes stealing several very expensive items from a museum during an evening showing. Without him, her only henchman!! (So what if he snooped in her office? It's not like it's ghost-proof; she should've expected Bad Behavior from the Very Bad Criminal in her house.)

Selina finds out very quickly that Danny is akin to a rambunctious kitten chewing through her phone charger cable and clawing at her favorite muslin blanket (the one Bruce gifted her from one of their dates). And she's so exasperated that she agrees he can be involved. But only as a distraction and he's told that he needs to scram once the police come because she's not bailing him out of juvie if he gets caught. (She wouldn't, but she could make Bruce do it. Her lover would take one look at Danny's watery doe eyes and cave like he's already experiencing Empty Nest Syndrome.)

So, Catwoman and her littlest henchman plan to rob the Gotham Museum. She buys him a cat-themed facemask (in case things get sticky and he needs a quick anonymous getaway) like ones from Party City, it has little ears poking out from the top and it's adorable. And then it's go time.

Danny's role is to distract the crowd by pretending to be a lost kid and distract Batman if he shows up. Selina will take care of the rest - disarming the alarms, timing the museum workers' shifts, bribing the West Entry security guard, frame-freezing the surveillance cameras, smuggling in the forgery and smuggling out the original, and - well. It'll be nice not to deal with the Big Bat if he shows up, but Selina is used to doing this on her own.

She should've expected that Danny doesn't do what's expected.

Because Danny does his part as the crying, screaming child whose mother is lost amongst the chaos once the museum's power shuts off. He distracts the guards easily. Selina hides away the art, replaces the forgery on the wall, and goes to find her little stray. And Danny is clinging hysterically to The Batman, refusing to be pried off by security guards and museum workers. He's straight up sobbing. Talking about how he loves Batman and Robin, his family is dead, he wants to be Robin, did you know you should be able to see Ursa Major from Gotham but you can't because of the smog, do you think Poison Ivy can just make a lot of trees to unpolluted the air, Nightwing is his favorite superhero, do you think he'll sign an autograph-.

It's astounding how fast that kid can speak while also smearing green snot onto Batman's cape. Danny proves himself to be even more unexpected when he goes off-script, eyeing her and screaming, "Mom!" And Batman's eyes catch hers. Shit. How can she explain a tiny child calling her mother in front of her lover? That'll be an awkward conversation.

Catwoman doesn't take Danny to outings after that. Instead, she has Harley and Ivy take turns "babysitting" (i.e., using Danny as Batfam distractions) while she's at work, kind of like having the fun aunts take you shopping. Danny can do whatever he wants!! With the exception that he needs to be wearing his cat-mask at all times, to properly conceal his identity (neither woman knows he'd already thrown himself at Batman without his mask).

So, while Ivy is destroying a toxic power plant, Danny is stealing Nightwing's escrima sticks, clinging to him, "accidentally" tripping him, doing the Koala-leg thing. He goes all out when Nightwing actually does trip on him - he shrieks that he broke his arm, which forces the vigilante to pay attention to him. Sobs, clings harder, and endures the trip to the hospital on the back of Nightwing's motorcycle with a shit-eating grin.

Harley is beating the hell out of some of Joker's gang. Red Robin is doing surveillance and coordinating with GCPD so they can get the whole circus to Arkham. Except Danny is calling out where Red Robin is hiding with the glittery pink microphone that Harley bought him (originally to sing Doja Cat and Chappell Roan in her car). Joker gang's priority will always be the Batfam because of Joker's obsession with Batman and Danny uses the distraction so Harley can get a couple good swings of her bat in. He cackles maniacally when he hears a muffled, "C'mon, kid!!" from Red Robin.

And the Batkids are just like, Jesus, this kid is literally a nightmare. But they can't do anything! Are they going do arrest a kid? No. Are they going to arrest Batman's lover? No! So, they're stuck dealing with this.... absolute gremlin of a child!!

Danny, of course, is very pleased. The Bats have no idea who he is because of his little cat-mask, he's getting paid literally several grand per week, and Selina - who he's been living with ever since she realized he was homeless - even got him goldfish!

(Bruce is in his office, eyes crinkling in that iconic Dad-Smile, scrolling through candid photos Selina snuck of Danny's chocolate-smeared face while the kid was passed out on her couch. There's a fake ID under the name of Danny Fenton and several pages of foraged school records in a pile on his desk. Bruce eyes his desk drawer where several emergency adoption papers are tucked away.)

[zweetpea]

Yandere batfam one shot/imagine thing

I'll probably make a part 2

You met Bruce while you were working as a waitress for a gala. It was a second job to pay rent. Maybe he brought Selina or some other girl or maybe he came alone.

Either way you two end up in a room together and end up sleeping together. Just as you’re pulling on your clothes he asks to see you again. He even offers you a check (let’s say it’s for 500k). You take the money promising to see him again but you don’t for about a year.

After a year of him searching every corner of Gotham he finally finds you. And surprise surprise you have a three month old baby girl.

He goes up to you and begs you to let him be in the baby’s life. After a few weeks of bribes (and him secretly stalking you) you finally make a deal with him. If he works from home he can take care of the baby during the day.

So you brought your baby to the Wayne Manor. You expected maybe a servant or maybe Bruce to answer the door. You were not expecting a young man to open the door. He had short shaggy black hair with an undercut and a K-pop hair style. He stared at you with his piercing blue eyes-

“Tim drake! That’s who you are! I used to love watching your let’s plays! I love your sense of humor!” Tim was surprised. Being the middle child (especially the middle boy) he often feels left behind by his siblings, so having someone notice his accomplishments for once felt nice.

“Drake. What are you looking-” a short boy came up behind the gamer. He had a darker complexion and slicked back black hair with piercing green eyes. You smiled at him and he straight up slammed the door in your and your baby’s face. Your eyes grew wide and your face fell into a scowl.

You heard shuffling from behind the door and when if opened you saw Tim holding the kid by the scruff of his collar as one would do with a misbehaving animal. “Sorry about that Miss.” Tim smiled at you. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I’m going to be late for work. Here give her to Bruce. Her name is Echo.” You give the baby to Tim. “Oh there you go. Support her head now.” You threw the bag in the small rude kids face. “Everything she needs is in there. I’ve left instructions inside for how to take care of her. If she doesn’t eat that much try tickling her tummy. I’ve labeled the extra bottles of her food so if she’s really hungry give her some and if it’s not enough call me I’ll get here as soon as I can. I don’t want her drinking any of that store bought crap. Understand?”

“Yes ma’am.” Tim smiled.

“Good.” You ruffled his hair. Then you turned to the younger boy. “Be good to my baby ya hear? Or else I’ll milk papa Bruce for every penny I can.” You ruffled his hair too. You then kissed your baby and went back to your car.

Tim shut the door and immediately Echo started crying. Bruce and Alfred came running at the noise.

“No�� I missed her.” Bruce said. He looked at his three youngest kids. “Hey sweetheart.” Bruce tried to grab Echo. But Tim held her close. Everyone looked at him surprised.

“Father why did that rude lady drop off a baby.” Damian scowled.

“She’s not rude. She’s your future Step Mother.” Bruce smiled at the thought of your and his wedding. “Now Tim, give my baby here. She’s crying.”

“No.”

“No? What do you mean no?” Bruce seemed flabbergasted.

“She trusted me to hold her child. This is my baby sister.”

“Drake! Give father the baby. She’s being loud.” Damian covered his ears. Echo looked over at him and made a grabby hand gesture at him.

“It looks like she wants Master Damian’s attention.” Alfred pointed out.

“but-” Tim was cut off as Damian took the baby.

Echo’s cries grew quiet as her youngest older sibling held her. While Tim’s obsession with You and Echo became apparent almost immediately, giving him the praise his own family and the Media refused to, Damian’s was slow. It started with someone (echo) actually liking him. After all he went from being showered in attention under Talia’s thumb to being practically ignored at Wayne Manor.

Dick was by far the kindest to Damian, being a mentor to the young boy. But he could still bite back at Damian’s snark. Barbara and Stephanie took none of his crap, to the point where they barely spoke to him. Cass and Duke held no qualms about fighting with a kid. Jason was like a cool big brother and while he wasn’t at the manor often he always made most of his time there focused on the kid. Tim and Damian had a very strained relationship. And while Bruce loves Damian there’s always a bit of strain, and guilt on Bruce’s part. If he’d stayed with Talia maybe Damian wouldn’t have to grow up in a cesspool of Violence and mental agony.

“Back to your old ways of not wearing protection father?” Damian smirked.

“Damian… give me my Daughter.” Bruce said gently but firmly.

“Its nice to know you fought for her more than you fought for me. Though to be fair to you Ummi did shove us together.” He snarked as he held the baby who’d fallen asleep. Bruce went to grab her but Damian stepped back. “Ah ta ta. You wouldn’t want to disturb her right?” Damian smirked.

Over the next few hours Damian was mainly the one taking care of Echo if only to stop her from crying.

And at the end of the day when you finally got off work to pick up your sweet baby you were surprised to see Bruce, Damian, and Tim all playing with her in the living room. (What was more surprising was that her attention was mainly focused on the brat from this morning Damian.) She cooed as she saw you and you rushed to pick her up and gather her things into her bag.

Damian glared at you as you took Echo from his borderline iron clad grip. Who were you to take his sister, his blood sister mind you, away form him? (Her mother but we're not going to get into that right now.)

"Sweetness how about you just slow down. I'll have Alfred prepare you a drink. Which kind of tea do you like more Earl Gray or Jasmine." Bruce smiled and twiddled a piece of your hair in his hand.

You smacked his hand away. "No thank you. My baby and I need to get home." You said and quickly hurried out of there.

"Father you can't let her leave!" Damian said.

"Yeah! Don't you want that nice lady to be your wife?" Tim agreed.

"I was talking about Echo." Damian deadpanned.

Bruce ruffled both their heads. "Patience boys. Have a little faith in your old man." He smiled as you walked away. Before the month was out he'd have you and echo safely tucked away in his arms in the deepest recesses of Wayne Manor.

[kitkatscabinet]

SUCK, SUCK, BLOW

Requested: by anon

Summary: Giving the batboys that sloppy toppy (I personally hate sucking dick so I hope this is alright lol)

Pairings: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne x gn! Reader.

A/N: 18 + minors evaporate !! Unedited.

DICK GRAYSON

This man is a FREAK, since you've started dating, the two of you have done just about every position possible. That being said, he's obsessed with giving you head. And by the time he is ready to cum he wants to do it whilst fucking you, not in your mouth.

It takes some manoeuvring, catching him after a long patrol or work out when he’s slumped against the couch (you don’t let him get the sheets sweaty if it’s not from sex). But the second your hand wraps around the base of him and you’re pressing a teasing kiss to the tip of his dick he’s putty in your hands.

He’s got a trembling thigh thrown over your shoulder, hands clutching the closest couch cushion as he babbles incoherently.

Tries to pull you off several times cause “baby, He’s not gonna last. Honey, he’s gonna cum before he can fuck you” :((.

Somehow still doesn’t get that that’s kind of the point. Ends up accidentally overstimulating himself cause he’s trying not to cum while you’re trying very hard to make him.

JASON TODD

It's not often that Jason's in the mood to let you suck him off, not when he deals with and sees so much fucked up shit every day. When you do fuck, he wants to hold you close. Wants to kiss you senseless and bury his face in your neck.

Your best bet? Wake him up with it. Jason’s a light sleeper, he’ll pretty much wake up if you shift even an inch beside him but it’s not impossible. It still takes his brain a few seconds to kick the sleep from his system and if you’ve already got your lips wrapped around his dick then he’ll simply malfunction.

Forgets your name, forgets his name, forgets where the fuck he is the only thing he knows for sure is the glorious warmth sucking his soul out.

Tries to hide his groans by burying his face in his arm, you’re not afraid to use a little teeth to warn him otherwise.

Genuinely meets god for a few seconds after he cums, hips jerking as he moans so loud the neighbours are definitely gonna complain later.

TIM DRAKE

Blowjobs are how you often bribe him into spending time with you.

He’s working on a case for too long? Hand in his pants, until you can get your mouth on him, a lot harder for him to smack you away.

Busy dealing with WE shit? You’re on your knees beneath the desk until he’s dragging you home/to bed.

You really, really want something? He’s so fucking weak to the feel and sight of your tongue sliding against his dick that you can get him to promise you anything in the moment. Though he probably will forget about it so you need to record him making those promises :))

Cries. No matter how often you suck his dick he never gets used to it. It’s like he’s a virgin and it’s the first time anyone is ever touching him Every. Single. Time.

He’s so overworked and exhausted all the time that it honestly doesn’t take much before he’s trying to tug you off as tears line his lashes cause sweetheart you’ve already made him cum twice. He’s sensitive. He can’t go again yet!

(Spoiler alert: he can. Though he might need a few hours to recuperate after)

BRUCE WAYNE

We all know he's done some questionable shit to maintain his secret identity. Once you've been dating for a while you're even willing to sometimes help him nurture the Brucie Wayne act. It's never anything super raunchy, but one encounter with a slightly too friendly-for-comfort Selina Kyle later and it's you who's acting up.

Pulling him into an abandoned corridor of whoever's sprawling mansion this party is taking place in and dropping to your knees. He puts up a token protest, (you both know he could easily stop you) as you undo his slacks but the second your lips wrap around him he's a goner.

Listen, he’s disciplined. He’s withstood literal torture but the way you swirl your tongue against him before you take him so deeply your nose brushes his pelvis is probably the most overwhelming sensation he’s ever experienced.

Keeps one large hand on the back of your neck, forgets to even use it for leverage he’s so out of it, thighs shaking and head thrown back against the wall as he bites his lip hard enough to draw blood.

Hell, he’s so lost in the heavenly feel of your warm mouth he doesn’t even notice the scandalised giggles that ring out before disappearing as not one, but at least three separate couples stumble across you.

[hana-no-seiiki]

Good news. Did some decent progress on What’s Up Danger so you guys will finally get fed this Wednesday! Bad news, the quality might not be the best since I’m fasting while writing it oTL

Anyways, here are some Batfam w/ Cat Villain! Reader moments/snippets.

TW YANDERE AND MENTION OF NONCON/SOMNO

Both Jason and Reader’s first words to each other were, “What the fuck.”

Reader referring to Jason being a giant, and violent asf esp in comparison to Dick. While Jason was confused at his heart beating so fast and mildly crushing on you while you were fighting.

Bonus points: You guys did the spiderman point meme.

You have the biggest age gap with Dick. I headcannon the boys to be close in age so there wouldn’t be any not so good implications when it comes to relationships, but it’s almost unavoidable unless Batman switches sidekicks every year or so. (You are younger than Jason but older than Tim)

But that is also another reason why you two didn’t click as well as you did with Jason

You’d often make jokes or use slang and Dick would just be “???” He tried his best though.

On the reverse side of things, and like I mention before Tim and you got along too well as friends. He’s one of the few people you could gush to about literally any fandom and he somehow (through stalking your searches and literally every gadget/appliance you owned) knew everything about it already.

You two have written several theses on fellow vigilantes and villains (mostly ‘dumb’ ones like who has the best cake based on so and so criteria)

Damian is the best when it comes to bantering with you mid-fight. It’s the combined years of sass and assassin training. Went from plain insults to whole ass (not so) subtly being horny when you beat each other down.

He’s also the worst (best?) when it comes to your nicknames. He insists that you two use it on each other. Some exclusive while others he’s usually fine hearing from other mouths.

There was one point in time where you were called Kitten while the boys forced/bribed you to call them Daddy

Tim and Jason have tattoos of you/related to you.

For Jason it’s your name with a few paw prints, and for Tim it’s when he first fought you (and got his ass whooped)

After Jason came back and revealed himself to you, he tattooed the scratch marks you left him on his back after doing the deed.

Damian secretly practices doing henna so he can draw on you during your “wedding” since he doesn’t want anyone touching you. Sort of defeats the purpose, but go off king.

Being the thorough guy he is, he uses lab equipment to make his own blends.

Bruce? Bruce hates your ass. Sometimes it’s in a hatefuckey way but most of the time he blames you for corrupting his kids.

So he corrupted you in turn.

I feel like he gets off to cucking them honestly (blame that one comic) but if Reader is AFAB I wouldn’t be surprised if he impregnated them.

He’s a softie at heart when it comes to you though, courtesy of your similarities with Selina.

Speaking of, Talia adores you.

Like if there was anyone she would want with her son it was you.

She thinks the fact that you haven’t been put behind bars is a testament to your skill, and after getting over your similarity to her “rival in love” she would actively get you to be with her son.

Eventually she realizes she loves you more than Bruce and well, that’s a story for another fic.

You have at least a dozen trackers on you at all times.

Most of them you’ve ingested and pooped out.

It’s mostly Tim of course. But the duty of actually feeding you that stuff usually goes to Dick.

Dick has uh- somnophillia’ed you a fair bit after the break up.

He really, and I mean really likes to watch you sleep.

It reminds him of those ‘catnaps’ you’d take while watching over the Titans.

There would be times where he’d just be in a daze/in autopilot for hours reminiscing about your past together

His favorite memories to go back to were your first fight together, first kiss, and times under the sheets, and a date you guys had before in a festival/circus.

He never takes the antidote for Poison Ivy’s sex pollen and always comes to you for it, regardless of his or your relationship status.

Tim has at least a million typewritten chats with AI you, and around a few hundred hours of voice chats.

You did eventually take his virginity.

He came as soon as he was inside you/you were inside him.

You have been offered to be a part of the bat crew or a vigilante. But,

you massacred many after Jason’s supposed death and feel too guilty to call yourself anything other than a villain.

Chokers with bells. It’s a popular gift to give you. Especially ones that are custom made with expensive ass materials and engraving.

Sometimes Tim just gives you weapons.

Alfred is your best source of blackmail material.

You’ve actively tried cursing him (with immortality). You love the man.

He’s secretly the president of your official fanclub/fansite but you didn’t hear that from me.

You fight a lot with Damian’s pets. Like in a way that you turn into a literal cat and hiss at them.

And last but not least, you’re vv close with every member of the Teen Titans (besties with Rachel and Garfield)

NOT PROOFREAD!!!

@sophiethewitch1

[lazycats-stuff]

Yo, could you make m!reader who’s the son of Bruce and Selina and him meeting the Batfamily? He’s like Damian’s age if not a year younger

Sure can do anon. Don't Selina and Bruce have a daughter in the comics? Also, the only gif that had the two of them in. I can't wait for Batman 2. It's taking far too long.

Summary: Selina and Bruce have a son. Bruce didn't know.

Warnings: (Y/N) is anxious, Bruce is trying... Fluff I guess?

Bruce should have known. How could he be so blind to it? How didn't he even notice? Feelings are a messy thing. And he shouldn't have allowed it to cloud his mind and judgement. But it happened. He had a one night stand with Selina and he didn't know that she was pregnant. He should have known when she wasn't out on Gotham scene and when he didn't see her for a while.

To say he was mad that she didn't tell him was an understatement. Bruce has every right to know about his son (Y/N). Was she worried that he wouldn't take care of his child? That it would be like, oh no, I won't take care of him because you are a criminal? No. Bruce takes care of all of his children.

No matter who they parents are. Children should not carry the burden of their parents. Children have nothing to do with the things that their parents do. Bruce never liked it when people would put everything that the child's parents did onto the child themselves. And now, when Bruce confronted Selina, he has made his demands.

He will not drag her through court. He would never do that. He would also provide financial support for (Y/N). He wanted to make sure that (Y/N) will never lack anything and more than anything in this world, he wanted to meet him. He knew that it would be awkward. And he wasn't wrong.

First few meetings were rough and awkward to say the very least. It hasn't been easy. (Y/N) was hesitant, but not because of the fact that Selina badmouthed him. Bruce knew that she would never do that. But when your father is Bruce Wayne and you are the youngest Wayne child out of the bunch and you didn't know until now... And the last name Wayne opens up a lot of doors for you.

After a few meetings, Bruce asked (Y/N) if he wanted to meet his siblings. (Y/N) was now more than hesitant. Would they even like him? Would they judge him for his mother? How would Damian Wayne react even? (Y/N) started overthinking everything, every single outcome possible.

Bruce could even see the gears turning in his head, trying to see all the possibilities. Bruce assured him that he will not do anything that he wouldn't do anything that he didn't want. If (Y/N) wanted to wait before meeting his siblings, Bruce will make sure to respect that boundary. Not to mention, to make sure that his other sons will respect that boundary.

Even Damian, who is simply ready to get every single piece of information on (Y/N). Damian wasn't happy about another biological son in the picture. He was happy to be the only one. But with a half brother, whose mother is a criminal, he was really not happy. Bruce knew that very well. So he tried to ease all 4 of his sons into meeting (Y/N).

Dick was excited at the thought of a new sibling, but hoped that he wouldn't be as bratty as Damian was when he first came to the family. But he had a feeling that Selina wouldn't allow (Y/N) to be a brat. No one is a fan of brats.

Jason hoped that he was nothing like Damian. He can't have another Damian around. He barely has the energy to deal with Damian as it is. He could only hope so.

Tim? He was going to do a background check on (Y/N) before hand, but otherwise has no problem with him. He finds Selina nice, but he should have seen this coming. Knowing that Bruce is playboy... All of those talks about protection seemingly don't matter when it comes to actual practice.

And Damian? Damian doesn't believe that people can change, criminals are in the most hardcore category of that opinion. However, Damian came to like Selina. He was bribed with cats. Animals are his weakness, but can you blame him? If he could, he would turn the manor into a farm. But since Bruce wouldn't allow it, he couldn't. Bruce owns the place and while he allowed Alfred the cat, Titus and the Batcow, still, Damian wanted to have more.

And Selina was more than happy to give him access to more animals, cats more specifically to cater to Damian. But Damian still wasn't still sold on the idea of trusting (Y/N). Or even meeting him. But he knew that they would have to meet up eventually.

Eventually, (Y/N) felt comfortable enough to meet the family. Bruce was very happy to hear that. Extremely happy to hear that. However, Bruce had to make sure that the other 4 were ready to behave. And that took some time to make sure that they knew what to do and to not scare (Y/N) off. It took (Y/N) a lot of courage to say that he wanted to meet them.

So Bruce was going to do his best to make sure that the meeting goes as smoothly as possible. Of course, there are going to be bumps, but Bruce is sure that he can steer everything in the right direction. And that's something that he was mentally preparing himself for.

And that's why (Y/N) and Bruce were still in the car, (Y/N) feeling like he wanted to jump at his skin. He wanted to turn back, but he got here... So he can't turn back now, can he?

" You ready (Y/N)? " Bruce asked, turning to his left to look at his son, who seemed anxious. No, ready to jump out of his skin.

" Is it too late to turn back now? "

Bruce chuckled at that, patting his shoulder. " Kind of. But you don't need to worry that much. Just be yourself. Okay? " Bruce gently said to (Y/N), who nodded. Bruce knew that (Y/N)'s anxiety wasn't gone and was still present, but he wished that (Y/N) would relax a tad more.

" Okay... I think I can try that. " (Y/N) said and Bruce smiled, nodding at that.

" Good. Now come on. " Bruce stepped out of the car and (Y/N) followed, moving to stand next to Bruce and then follow him to the front door. Bruce unlocked the door and let (Y/N) step in first. Bruce gently led him to the dining room where everyone was waiting.

" Now remember, be yourself, " Bruce whispered into his ear, before straightening up and leading him to the dining room. There was chatter in there and (Y/N) could hear different voices and he could hear that all 4 of his brothers were there... Well, half brothers... One half brother. The other ones are through adoption.

But still half brothers, no?

The chatter stopped once Bruce and (Y/N) entered.

" Everyone, this is (Y/N) Kyle, " Bruce introduced and the boys sized (Y/N) up, making him feel nervous. Bruce led (Y/N) to an empty sit, in between Tim and Dick, the two who are the nicest ones. Dick is nice and Tim is simply too tired to care about it. Damian and Jason? Both speak their minds. Jason directly and Damian does it with insults. Thinly veiled insults, mind you.

" So (Y/N), " Dick started and Bruce knew that Dick was trying to salvage the situation, well, trying to make the atmosphere better is a better word than salvage. " What are your hobbies? Interests? "

" I like art. I like to draw and I've been thinking of getting into painting actually, " (Y/N) responded, although still quietly from the anxiety.

Soon enough, the conversation started flowing and the atmosphere got lighter and more fun. Bruce watched his sons interact with a smile on his face. He could see that even Damian was warming up to (Y/N).

[gothamite-rambler]

Duke Thomas when he learned the darker moments of Bruce including the "Test" he performed on Tim, everything with post revival Jason, and a few bits and pieces for Dick. So he is sticking up for his buddies/brothers.

Duke (on comms during a mission): When I see you stand by Selina, I believe you see two bad bitches. I believe you don't like women, it's real competition, you might pop ass with 'em.

Batman (confused): What?

Duke (rapping): Let's speak on percentage, show me your splits, I'll make sure I double back with you. You were signed to a trigga that's signed to a trigga that said he was signed to that trigga.

Jason and Dick listening in are too stunned to speak.

Barbara (eating cheese puffs while working, impressed): Nice switch up there.

Batman (sad dad voice): I just wanted to know why you were giving me the silent treatment. Please stop.

Duke (rapping with ease while decking a goon in the face): Put your eldest son through hurtles, you're a douche bag. Throwing a weapon at your second son's neck that's a jackass move and putting the third to a test, that's hoe shit-

Batman (enraged, gritted teeth): You are not doing this! Stop it right now!

Duke continued to play the villain as the Dark Knight confronted him, the entire exchange echoing through the Batmobile's speakers.

Duke (interrupting while rapping, enjoying this): Hoe, what? You ain't like that call out? Bat to bat, I'll call out the ego knight. Imma get back to that, for the record. Now why would I call you out at this moment? Y'all think I'd let that slide? Nah, but you got a son to raise, but I can see you don't know nothin' 'bout that-

Batman (hearing an echo from his batmobile): You're on a speaker system?!

Duke: Tell him to pray, know nothin' 'bout that. And givin' him tools to walk through life like day-by-day, know nothin' 'bout that. Teachin' him morals, integrity, discipline, listen, man, you don't know nothin' 'bout that. Speakin' the truth and consider what God's considerin', you don't know nothin' 'bout that-

Batman (shouting, startling the villains in front of him): ALRIGHT, I GET IT!

Poison Ivy (in the background, pouting): Aww, come on, it was just getting good!

Batman: You shut the hell up, Pam! Signal, we will talk about this later!

Jason (laughing): Nah, he’s not finished yet.

Dick (sounding corny, bless his heart): Let him cook!

Batman: Who told him?!

Tim (amused): We may have… told him some stories about you while his arm was healing.

Duke: Yeah, and it’s a good thing little Robin isn’t on patrol tonight. I was holding this in, but I didn’t want the kid around. I respect you, Batman, but sometimes you’re trash at parenting! You trash! You trash!

Batman (offended): Stop calling me trash! This is oddly hurtful!

Riddler: A dumpster fire fit's you more.

Ivy (dryly): Rat-infested garbage barge.

Mad Hatter: Trash island!

Batman: Oh, would you all shut the hell up!

Dick covered his mouth, smiling but also shocked. Jason was laughing. Tim smiled while patrolling with Duke.

Duke: I’m tired, B! I'm tired! What did these intelligent, handsome, confident men do to you? That test alone was foul! You are—

Villains: Trash!

Batman (clenched jaw as he spoke): What can I give you to make this embarrassment end?

Duke: I can see you’re a changed man, but you owe your sons, and me—an apology. Namely, a trip to New York Comic Con all expenses paid... and you buy me a cosplay for an anime of my choice.

Poison Ivy: Good start, but go higher!

Jason: Get us all cars!

Batman (mumbling): Am I in hell?

Barbara: Sorry to chime in, but I’d like a trip to Hawaii with a date.

Dick: No fair! I said Star and I were going to Hawaii!

Batman: I said I was sorry, why must you remind me of this and demand bribes! I already pay all of you and I am not a bad bitch! I’m Batman!

Barbara (joining in): Bitch Man!

Batman: He’s only acting like this because I said Castlevania is dumb! Which it is! That’s just my personal opinion!

Mad Hatter and Riddler disagreed, but Batman threw a dull batarang at both of them to shut them up.

Tim: Batman... you sent him a PowerPoint on why it’s bad.

Ivy (crossing her arms): I bet you hate Kendrick too.

Ivy ducked as Batman tossed a small pebble at her.

Duke (shouting, enraged): Castlevania isn’t a stupid anime just because you didn’t understand Dracula as a character! Keep talking and ooo, I’ll start with Not Like Us! Don’t test me, I’m operating on two hours of sleep!

Stephanie (laughing): Bitch Man's gonna need Aloe Vera for those burns!

Batman: Okay, laugh it up! When I'm back home, all of you are on punishment! Oracle cut the feed from my car speakers and I don’t dislike Kendrick! I have great taste in music!

Batman cut off his communication device and Barbara disconnected the bluetooth connection Duke set up when Bruce wasn't aware he put that in his car. Ivy walked over to the Dark Knight with a smirk, making the hero groan annoyed.

Batman (gruff, wanting a break for the night): I already thanked you for helping me.

Ivy (enjoying the strife and chaos): You did, but this little call out towards you was much more satisfying. At least you’re not a terrible dad like mine.

Batman: I’ll take that as a compliment, weed.

Ivy (smugly): Whatever helps your verbal beat down, douche canoe.

[brucewaynehater101]

Janet didn't put out the hit on Jack after Tim was born

Her ex girlfriend did

And then the ex girlfriend took the contract herself

Ex girlfriend is not pleased when she isn't the only one who rushes to...comfort the "grieving" widow, three of them come together in an alliance to chase off the others, there is a schedule they mostly adhere to depending on their own desires and responsibilities

And as Tim grows, all of his mother's various suitors are trying to both get his good opinion and train him to be a deadly warrior to beat away/freak out any further competition and report on what happened while they were away

Shiva steals Cass away from David Cain specifically for her courtship with Janet, presenting herself as fellow single mother with Tim's previously undiscovered soul sibling Cass, bonus Cass acts as a bodyguard/trainer/companion for Tim while she guards Janet on her expeditions

Selina uses the power of kittens and stealth lessons to bond with Tim and to help him with his stalking/information gathering hobby, she introduces Tim to the delicate art of blackmail and thievery.

Talia draws on her father's records to find previously undiscovered or overlooked tombs and ruins to entice Janet with archaeological when digs and has ninja train/babysit Tim and Cass while she takes Janet out

And Bruce gets the very wrong impression as to why these women are going in and out of Gotham with such relative frequency

Hell yeah!

That ex-gf is lucky as hell that Janet only gets slightly mad about Jack dying (because of course Janet finds out). Though, this does come with the pointed words that this is one of the reasons they aren't currently dating.

Tim is sad his father died, but he's also confused about waking up the next morning to at least twenty of his mother's flings in Drake Manor. The process of watching seventeen of them being chased off one by one is entertaining.

Once Janet decides to start dating again, they for sure realize that Tim is the only way for them to go steady with Janet (because Janet Drake loves her son and will burn the world down for him). They come to adore Tim for the way his eyes get the same calculative glint as Janet, his innate ability to manipulate a room, and the smirk without smirking he does. He is, without a doubt, Janet's son.

Many of them, utter fools, initially underestimate Tim. He may be of Janet's blood, but he's also five (or six or eight or whatever young age they meet him at). This is how Tim manages to weasel whatever he desires (usually dangerous lessons like knife throwing) from his mom's suitor.

Janet is so proud of him.

Janet has a way with dangerous ladies, but this isn't only for villains. Vigilantes, anti-heroes, and even some heroes end up in her orbit. She doesn't ask them for exclusivity, and they don't ask that from her (so a lot of them have other relationships, including with each other).

Idk if Wonder Woman would keep her on again off again relationship with Janet (and periodic visits to Gotham) a secret, so I'm not sure if I ship it for this AU :/

Zatana, however, (when she is Bruce's age), could teach Tim some magic.

So, yeah. Bruce gets concerned when a bunch of extremely skilled women from all "sides" of Justice keep visiting Gotham.

[I'm also hella vibing with what each of the women in your descriptions did for bribes/courting gifts]

[unadulteratedsoulsweets]

A DC X DP IDEA #23

A Family Portrait

Imagine dis…

Most of the fanfics and even Tumblr posts are all about the long-lost son of both Bruce Wayne Selina or even Talia, the long-lost brother of either Damian, Tim, Dick, or even Jason. But what if we changed up the timeline?

What if…

…

Damian was just lurking around the manor at a fast pace if the way he looked around, looking for a hiding as Grayson had proposed the idea of playing a simple yet harmless family activity for the family of vigilantes. Grayson had been chatting all week and persuaded each of the imbeciles he calls brothers to join in. Todd was bribed with a no-ask favor from Grayson while Drake was dragged in the hopes of Richard being silent to Alfred about his intake of caffeine despite Alfred’s warnings. Damain already knew that Alfred the butler knew and was merely waiting for Alfred to hide his stash. While Thomas, Brown, Gordon, and Cain did not need more incentive from Grayson. After a quick shouting match from all sides on which activity will be chosen, all of them have chosen a simple hide-and-seek game within the manor as all of them still feel the repercussions of last week’s chosen game which still brings shivers down the assassin’s back every time, he remembers the things that were done in the name of fun family bonding activity.

The moment Drake began counting down all of them began scrambling out of the theater room and to quickly find a decent hiding spot. All of them were trained by Batman and have flourished under his tillage so finding a spot that nobody knew of is going to be hard. Damian knew that despite Drake having prominent eye bags under his eyes, he could not lower his guard in front of him despite his former attitude toward Drake and slowly mending their relationship Damian has some sort of respect, awe, and fear for Drake as this is the same person who had outwitted his grandfather and lived, the one who had fought his grandfather’s assassins and won but you never heard that from him after all if anyone knew what he thought of Drake, his katana will likely to immediately meet that person’s throat.

He thought of asking Alfred for assistance but he refused, he is already at the disadvantage with both Grayson and Todd living in the manor longer thus having found more than hiding spots for them. He already knew that Cain was already hidden in the shadows but he is the Blood son of the Bat and he refused to be the first one to be found.  But then he remembered a short conversation he had with Grayson when he first arrived at the manor. Grayson explained that the attic holds all antiques as well as family heirlooms that were passed down from each generation. It may be covered in a few dusts as Alfred cleans the attic once every blue moon. Grayson explained that the attic was heavily haunted as when he was just a child, he could hear people talking in hushed tones each time he went near the ladder that leads to the attic. When Damian tried to inquire for more information Grayson successfully changed the subject and was merely forgotten up until he saw the secret entrance to the attic of Wayne Manor.

Looking at the hidden ladder that leads to the attic Damian thinks of his decision on the one hand nobody had the same thought of him hiding in the attic due to Grayson the “ghosts” at the attic but on the other, he was about to enter uncharted territory. After a quick deliberation himself, he had already closed the entrance to the attic. After ensuring that nobody had seen him enter, he immediately took a look around to further hide but he couldn’t help to widen his eyes at his surroundings.

Eccentric pieces of marble statues surrounded him that looked suspiciously just some stone slabs, multiple worn-down artworks that looked like a child’s doodle, and scattered boxes of blurry photography, but some artworks and pieces could worth billions such as artworks and vases as if they are from the ancient greek, a different type clocks and a single grandfather clock that have different cuts and sizes of sapphires, diamonds, and gold, multiple chests that were escaping gold coins as the wood seem to rot, a box made out of fine glass that seems to protect a glass egg that holds every shade of blue there is.

As he kept looking around mesmerized by the unnatural decors and riches around him, he soon came across a portrait. A woman whose clothing seems to come from the early 1900s with a neutral expression. Upon closer inspection, Damian saw a nameplate just below the portrait and it says “Elizabeth Rose Wayne” which concludes that this must be one of his ancestors. As Damian let his eyes roam, he saw more portraits from family portraits to single portraits. All seemed to be falling apart due to time, as Damian went deeper as he kept following in deeper each portrait. Up until the last portrait, A tall middle-aged man with grey hair most in his head with grey eyes sitting in a large red velvet chair wearing what looked like a Victorian suit surrounded by what seemed to be his children. A large young man with black wispy hair that was tied in a ponytail with dark blue eyes looking neutral at the painting beside him a young man in his early teens with a mop of black hair and bright blue eyes with freckles adorning his check-looking bored and lastly a young girl with a generous amount of black hair styled to what looked like a modernized coil down to her chin and with baby blue eyes the cheekiest smile and was sitting impatiently on top of what looked like their father. All of them were wearing different Victorian-style suits and dresses that seemed to complement their eyes despite the different shades of each one.

Below the said family portrait were their portraits with each nameplate embedded just below the said portrait.

From the right which Damian had deduced as the oldest a nameplate below that spelled “DANAL” Next the nameplate spelled “DANIEL” Lastly the only female in the portrait spelled “DANIELLE” Damian looked at each of the nameplates and thought which of their parents named them with almost the same spelling of each name and the same meaning all names share in Hebrew that means “God is my judge.”

Whomever the painter was made Damian impressed as he felt all of the portraits were looking straight at him, judging his very being.

…

Meanwhile, Tim had already found the majority of his siblings. They all huddled up to find Damian as they were quite impressed at where he had hidden.

Looking around they have stumbled upon a semi-open door to the attic and have deduced that Damian had hidden there. As soon all of them laid eyes on what the attic contained all of them had a jaw-drop moment as such treasures and artifacts seemingly being stored away like some old clothes in the attic rather than being guarded in a high-level security vault. Jason began asking Dick why he even spread the story about the attic anyway as they could have seen these things much sooner, Dick kept on spluttering that he did hear voices back then.

Soon enough the more they went deeper into the attic they saw Damian looking over at a family portrait of what looked like the first generation or the pioneer of the Waynes. Dick excitedly yelled at Damian for being the last to be found but at the sudden loud noise, Damian accidentally swiped his hand too fast at the nameplate creating a small wound enough to bleed but not too deep, covering some of Damian’s blood at the nameplate.

Damian turned to face Grayson and the rest but he didn’t take notice of the nameplate spelled “DANIEL” that had some of his blood seem to absorb the said blood.

…

The room suddenly engulfed with bright green light with each batfam member immediately covering their eyes due to the onslaught of light.

The moment they started to blink away the black spots dancing at their eyes they immediately noticed that the supposed family portrait was now missing 3 members leaving the supposed father sitting alone in the “family portrait”.

Dick tried to usher his siblings out while panicking out that his rambling back then and now is correct about this part of the manor being haunted.

As the voices of each of them began to overlap with each other creating a loud noise, a single large yawn silenced all of them.

Turning their heads back to the portraits they all zeroed in on the individual portrait in the middle. Exhaling another yet small yawn as he seems to try to blink away his sleepiness. Soon the other portraits beside and above him seem to follow, “DANAL” seems to yawn roughly exposing his pearly white teeth to the still shell-shocked BatFam. “DANIELLE” seemed to yawn and pout at the same time as if she was interrupted in her midday nap time. Lastly, the older gentleman in the now empty family portrait covered his hands as he yawned quietly.

Slowly but surely conversation between each painting seems to start as if this scene is something nothing out of the ordinary, as each portrait talks to the other without noticing the still shell-shocked BatFam in front of them.

As “DANIELLE” seemed to be bored and turned to look in the other direction she immediately noticed at still siblings and harshly told the rest they had guests with them.

Dick, Barbara, Jason, Cass, Tim, Stephanie, Damian and Duke.  They were all trained under the greatest detective, he taught them and told them repeatedly that they need to have their mind at the present moment, every day, every hour, and every minute. This is their best tool, their Mind. They can´t take away their mind. It lives inside of them and is the best weapon that they need to live. Yet it seems all of their collective minds were still in the middle of processing the result of a harmless hide-and-seek family fun time activity.

…

The quartet Halfa of a family had been in the Ghost Zone for centuries. Danny’s sister Jazz had settled down and had a family, as they have become somewhat immortal, Fright Knights and a Ghost King they still wished for some sort of communication with their remaining mortal family. Came with the creation of a specialized portrait that only they could access for easy communication, like a video call, while the knowledge of their actual summoning instruction summoning them to the mortal plane had been coded and written at the back of the said portrait.

Vlad had the smug smirk when he had convinced Jasmine to let Dan, Danny, and Dani dress in their Sunday’s best, which made them all squirm and uncomfortable, and to pose for who knows how long for the painting just to finish, never mind that he added an extra three for them as some sort of payback for all the time the three gremlins had caused him extra grey hair.

For someone, they told each other they were different, and seemed all think alike causing him grief, stress, and extra white hairs on top of his head.

At first the first up to the third generation of nieces and nephews would call them through the use of the painting but it seems that it had been radio silence for years now. It is either the knowledge of a weird uncle and aunt has not been properly passed on or Jazz’s line has died out.

So, imagine their surprise that after centuries of radio silence, they have felt their descendant calling them through their portraits.

After a quick pleasantry to each other, all of them looked expectantly at the siblings and Danny briefly wondered if he had something in his face for them to look at them like that and if they had forgotten to breathe.

…

 PS: If someone out there wanted to continue or make a fic about this you are free to do so, don’t forget to tag me though.

[selanaris]

"I wonder what would've happened if bruce swore off the cowl after Jason died"

- prompt by @nighting-gale17

Hear me out

Bruce hangs the cowl

Him and dick still argue so Nightwing stays with the titans/bludhaven

The rogues progressively get worse and worse

Kate and Barbara are locked in, even Selina is working

Many trying to convince bruce back in. Bruce keeps saying no until he just shuts off the batcave, telling them to leave that life

Tim, he was going to bribe bruce, but instead found the powered off Batcave during a gala

He sets to quickly download everything he can by ripping out the drives and then even taking some random suit pieces he can find. He knows his parents will forget him, so he just heads home.

He grabbed a robin suit, and he went to work editing it, dyeing, etc. Making it all black, maybe a red accent kept.

He will go and take care of gotham

Like an idiot

Barbara yells at him to leave, stop trying to be a solo hero as a kid

Kate, on the other hand, after one failed no, and she just takes him under her wing.

Batwoman and her little crow

Tim often does work on his own, then will call kate whenever he needs to bust down some doors.

Nightwing and batgirl HATE this, hate another kid was brought in

Kate won't even tell them who it is, not like she knows who Crow is anyway.

No evidence, no clues to who crow is.

Bruce tried to take the bat symbol from kate, she said he isn't batman anymore, so fuck off.

Gotham is darker now, kate kills, she teaches Crow to kill as well

Barbara can't stop them, and then she gets hurt, and Joker is mysteriously killed in Arkham.

Nothing is the same...

Red hood appears... realizes that batman is gone, and plans change very quickly. He confronts bruce as Jason and demands to know why bruce failed gotham and their mission, the mission that jason died for.

[incorrectbatfam]

Which of the batfam members do the practiced beginning theory in chess and which ones do rookie moves on purpose so the others have to actually use their brains?

Dick: paints over the board so it's one big square

Jason: grants knighthood to all his pawns

Tim: bribes the other king into abdicating

Damian: lets his friends blindly pick moves through an earpiece

Duke: leaves it to a dice roll

Cullen: creates extra kings with checkers

Stephanie: takes her pieces for a spa day so they all feel like queens

Cassandra: somehow it becomes a card game

Barbara: holds a diplomatic assembly and writes a peace treaty

Harper: sets up a naval fleet with Battleship

Carrie: puts a volleyball net in the middle

Kate: stages a coup and overthrows her own king

Selina: steals a piece every time her opponent isn't looking

Bruce: builds a 15-way chessboard for the whole crew

Alfred: packs up and leaves the Manor forever

[dccomicsimagines]

Bruce’s Birthday - Batfamily Imagine

Requested by Anon - Can I get a birthday with Bruce and the batsibling!reader? Batkids mayhem please

***

Cass peered down at Bruce from her place in the rafters. Below was the Gotham Children’s Charity gala. People in fancy, flashy clothes, milling around. She heard the annoying murmurs of gossip and fake personas. 

Bruce’s shoulders held an unfamiliar tension. She tilted her head. His lips pressed together as he made small talk with a few businessmen. She swore she saw a sadness that felt unknown to her. 

“Cass, you promised you wouldn’t hide up here,” Tim said. He juggled a plate of food in one hand as he shuffled on the rafter to her side. Cass took the plate and helped herself to some baked brie.  

“Watching.” She looked back at Bruce who was now moving through the crowd toward Selina, who had just entered in a sparkly red dress. Cass smiled, noting Bruce seemed happier, but the sadness was still there. Hidden, but barely.

“Yeah, it’s quite a bore this year.” Tim swung his legs as he settled down beside her. He took a grape from the plate. “I wondered if we should have set up Two Face to rob the place or something?”

Cass looked at Tim, narrowing her eyes. “Bad joke.” She turned back to Bruce to find him whispering in Selina’s ear. “Bruce is sad.”

Tim followed her gaze. He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“He’s sad. He hides it, but it’s stays.” Cass gave Tim the plate and wrapped her arms around herself. The simple black dress was comfortable, but she missed her pajamas. After discovering how comfortable they were, she would only change out of them after being bribed with the promise of more cozy pjs. She was on her twelfth set now.

“Well, his birthday is coming up. He always gets sad around this time. It’s probably because of (Y/N).” Tim took a bite of the baked brie, groaning at the taste. 

"(Y/N)?" Cass blinked. She remembered Alfred and Dick mentioning you in stories about Dick’s early Robin days. You were Bruce's oldest child. Apparently, you haven't been home in almost seven years.

"Yeah, they used to make a big deal out of it." Tim chuckled. "Dick told me about it. I wanted to try to do what they did, but...I think it will just make him sad that they won't come home."

"Why?" Cass studied Tim, noting how he wouldn't look her in the eye.

Tim pursed his lips. "I don't know why actually. Dick won't talk about it, neither will Alfred. Must have been a big deal though."

Cass looked back at Bruce. He was staring at the far wall, not really seeing anything. She tapped her chin as an idea slowly began to form in her head.

***

Dick was just settling down on his couch with a bowl of popcorn in hand and Barbara next to him when Cass suddenly climbed out from under the coffee table. He almost spilled the popcorn, but Barbara caught it.

"I knew she was there," Barbara laughed, reaching up to close Dick's jaw. She offered popcorn to Cass.

Cass' eyes brightened as she helped herself and sat cross-legged on the coffee table. "Thank you."

Dick's heart calmed. He chuckled to himself. "What brings you here, Cassie? You don't normally come to Bludhaven unannounced?"

Cass tilted her head, studying Dick with a carefulness that made his hair stand on end. "Bruce’s birthday."

"Yes, it’s next Sunday." Barbara sighed, muting the TV when a loud commercial started to play. "Do you need help finding something for Bruce?"

Cass nodded. She suddenly stood up and walked over to the wall. Dick leaned over, frowning slightly when she picked up the picture of you, him, and Bruce. It had been taken a year after Dick arrived in the manor. The three of you were in Alfred's garden, helping him tend it as punishment for breaking yet another vase.

"That's an old picture," Dick said after Cass held it out to him. "I think Bruce probably has that one."

Cass shook her head and pointed to you. You were so young, so bright eyed. Dick missed you so much that his heart shattered into pieces.

"That's (Y/N). You know about them, Cass," Barbara said after Dick couldn't get himself to speak.

"Bruce is sad. Misses (Y/N)." Cass pointed at you again. "We find (Y/N)."

"No, we can't do that. (Y/N) doesn't want to talk to Bruce." Dick swallowed past the lump in his throat.

Barbara eyed Dick curiously. "So you know where they are?"

Dick's eyes widened. He suddenly realized he might as well be in a viper's den. Cass leaned closer, narrowing her eyes.

"Fine, I do. (Y/N) didn't cut me out of their life. Jay probably knows too. I made sure to reintroduce him once he...got better." The blood ran out of Dick’s face as he found his phone was suddenly in Cass's hands.

"Cass, no." Barbara held her hand out for the phone. "I love you want to help Bruce, but what happened between (Y/N) and Bruce is between them."

Cass shook her head. "How long will they hurt each other?" She looked at Dick's phone before carefully handing it to Barbara.

Dick frowned. He wondered if maybe he should intervene? Seven years had been long enough. Eventually it would be too late for you and Bruce.

He tucked his phone back in his pocket. Now wasn’t the time to revisit the past. He wrapped his arm around Barbara’s shoulders.

“Cass, you aren’t staying?” Barbara asked. Dick blinked, finding Cass by the window.

“No, enjoy your night.” She opened it swiftly and leaped out into the night. Dick hummed, turning to share a look with Barbara.

“I should be worried, shouldn’t I?” Dick bit his lip when Barbara shrugged. 

“Everything will be fine. Now Hunk-Wonder, start the movie.” She leaned forward, kissing him. All thoughts of you and Cass left his mind.

***

You paced your office at the D.E.O. “I don’t care what you have to do. Kill the project. We don’t mess with Gotham,” you snapped into your phone. The agent on the other end stammered. “No, cut it off now or I’ll be down there and you don’t want me down there.”

The agent sighed. “Yes, chief.” You hung up the phone, slamming it on your desk. Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm down. 

“Fuck me.” You collapsed in your office chair and spun around to look out your window. It was the Gotham skyline. You snorted. It was missing the smog. Mister Bones thought it was funny to give you a Gotham projection on your fake window. You might have to slip him another exploding cigar again.

Your heart panged, but you pushed it away and turned back to your desk. There were files to look through, memos to send, mission to approve. You rubbed your eyes, wishing you could go home to your apartment. Maybe call the number that person in the bar gave you last weekend? 

However, you shook your head and opened the first file. In the corner of your eye, you noticed the date. A lump formed in your throat, but you swallowed past it and focused on the task at hand.

***

The manor library was quiet. Cass’ eyes were on the door as it swung open and Tim walked in. He was consumed by his tablet.

“Tim,” Cass said as she dropped down from the top shelf of the bookshelf and landed silently behind him. 

Tim flinched, almost dropping his tablet. “Geez, Cass.” He let out a shaky breath, pressing a hand against his chest. 

“Bruce’s birthday is in three days.” She held up three fingers. “We need to get (Y/N) here.”

“You’re still on that, huh?” Tim ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. It’s not a matter we should meddle with. Have you talked to Dick?”

Cass nodded. “He will not help, but I got their number.” She tapped her temple. “We find (Y/N) and bring them here. For Bruce.”

Tim pursed his lips. “Like kidnap them? (Y/N) was pretty much a badass. Even if we get them here, then what?” He reached out and put a hand on Cass’ shoulder. “We can’t make them get along. Do you even know why they fought?”

“No, but it doesn’t matter.” Cass brushed Tim away. “Time is short, life is short. We make this happen because we are family.”

A big sigh escaped Tim. Cass smiled, knowing she won. “Okay, okay. I’ll help, but this was your idea. If this blows up, it’s all your fault,” Tim said, handing Cass his tablet. “Type in their number, let’s see what we can find.”

Cass wanted to dance. She knew this would a birthday Bruce would never forget.

***

You knew something was wrong from the moment you stepped into your apartment. Carefully setting down your keys and bag of takeout on the side table, you pulled out your collapsed baton and flipped it to it’s full length. 

A breeze blew through the window. You raised an eyebrow. “Dick? Jason?” You called, turning the corner to your kitchen quickly only to find no one there. Goosebumps rose on your skin as you heard a creak down in your bedroom. 

You moved silently down the hall. A sharp breath gasped behind you. You spun, aiming the baton to hit the person in the face. “Ouch, my nose,” a boy in a Robin suit said, stumbling back and holding his face.

“Why the fuck are you in my house?” You kicked his feet out from under him and held him down with a foot on his throat. He was young, dark hair. Standard Robin. Racking your brain, you tried to remember what his name was. Dick mentioned him once or twice. “Tim, right?”

“Yeah, nice to meet you.” He gripped your ankle. “Can you get off?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” A soft almost silent thump came from behind you. You raised your hand and caught a fist that shot out of the darkness next to you. “Batgirl?”

“Yes.” She stepped out into the light. You took in her in. She was little, but strong. Her face hidden by her mask completely. “We’re here because of Bruce.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You removed your foot from Tim’s neck and stepped back to eye the new Batgirl. What was her name? Jason mentioned she was the daughter of David Cain. Trained to be the ultimate living weapon, but she chose her own path. Cass? That was what he called her?

She helped Tim up. You threw him a box of tissues for his nose. “What does D...Bruce want?” Your gut twisted at the slip. You made yourself stop calling him Dad years ago. It made it less painful.

“Bruce is sick,” Cass said, tilting her head. The look that Tim gave her left you doubting it. 

“And that has to do with me because?” You turned your back on them and went to grab your food by the door. The two followed you to the kitchen as you got out a plate. After a moment, you grabbed two more. 

“He misses you,” Tim said. His nose made him sound stuffed up. You took out an ice pack from your freezer and handed it to him. He gave you a bloody smile, pressing it to his face. 

“Right.” You opened containers, splitting food among the three plates. Luckily, you always bought more than you could eat. Leftovers were must with the D.E.O demanding schedule.

“He does.” Cass took a seat, pulling off her mask. You paused, noting she looked very much like Lady Shiva. Now it all made sense. “You need to come to him.”

You set plates in front of them. “How did you even find out where I live? Or anything about me for that matter?”

Tim and Cass shared a look. 

“I’m going to kill Dick,” you muttered under your breath. “What do you want to drink?” You dug into your fridge. 

“Thanks,” Tim said as he happily took a can of soda. Cass stayed with water. You joined them with your own drink.

“Thank you for feeding us.” Cass’ voice was so soft. You smiled at her. 

“Well, you are family, I guess.” You watched as Tim happily dug into his plate. “Bruce is always picking up new kids.”

Cass frowned, ignoring the food. “You’re angry.”

You took a bite of your food. “At Bruce, I was. Now I’m just...over it.” You shrugged. “He’s going to be him. Nothing I can do about it.”

“He is stubborn. Runs in the family.” Tim took a sip of his soda, smirking when you glared at him. “Alfred said it, not me.”

Alfred’s name made your heart ache. You needed to call him more often. “Yeah, I see you’ve taken to the role of annoying kid siblings very nicely. Dick must be feeling the karma now.” You laughed. “He’s the worst. Always messing with me.”

“Dick didn’t tell us where you were, we found you on our own.” Cass poked at the food on the plate, wrinkling her nose slightly. “Bruce’s birthday is tomorrow.”

You sighed, pushing your plate away as your stomach soured. “I know.”

“Come.” Cass reached out to touch your hand. 

“It’s not that simple.” You flinched away from her. Tim glanced between the two of you, eyes wide. “Some things you can’t come back from.”

“Why?” Cass tilted her head.

You stood up suddenly, taking your plate to the counter. “He wished I’d never been born. Said I was a mistake. I told him he should have died in the alley with his parents.” You winced at the sharp intakes of breath behind you. “But it’s fine.”

“You’re tired.” Her chair scraped and suddenly she was beside you. “You hurt. Bruce hurts too. It’s time to forgive.”

Your temper flared, but you let out a slow breath to cool it. “Why does it matter so much to you?” 

Cass swallowed hard. “Bruce needs you. He isn’t...whole.” She pressed a hand against her chest. “I know people who have regrets because they let things fester. I don’t want that for our family. Jason has made amends, now you should.”

“Well, Jay always needed Bruce. Even when he was younger.” You pursed your lips. Jason craved Bruce’s attention more than anything. Still did. You remembered being jealous, but it gave you time to pursue your own interests without Bruce noticing. “I don’t care.”

“(Y/N), I know it’s not my place and I just met you today, but you’re basically like my sibling with how much Alfred and Dick talk about you,” Tim said. You turned to look at him. He played with his fork, not meeting your eye. “I lost my mom and dad. I wish every day that I could tell them I love them one last time. Bruce isn’t getting younger and things are getting more dangerous...well, I think you don’t want to regret not reaching out or at least trying, right?” 

You sighed. Cass nudged your arm. You glanced between the two of them. “Fine.” 

Cass smiled, eyes lightening up. “Really?” Tim dropped his fork in surprise.

“I’ll go, but don’t get your hopes up. Bruce is still a stubborn pig.” You rolled your eyes as Cass suddenly hugged you. You blinked at the touch before gently patting her back. Tim hesitated, but you opened your other arm and let him join too. “For what it’s worth, it was nice to meet you two at last either way.”

“Ditto.” Tim grinned. Cass just buried her face deeper into your shoulder.

***

Bruce rolled his eyes at the sound of clattering in the kitchen. “Alfred wouldn’t be happy to find you in here,” he said as he opened the door to find Dick, Tim, Barbara, and Stephanie in the middle of attempting to make breakfast.

Dick and Tim were covered in flour. Barbara was by the stove, frying what looked to be turkey bacon. Steph happily chopped fruit. 

Bruce noticed the swelling around Tim’s nose. He made a note to ask him about it later.

“Alfred asked us to help,” Dick said, pushing Tim away from him. Tim laughed, grabbing a towel to try to clean up. 

“He did?” Bruce raised an eyebrow. 

“Alfred is having tea with a guest out in the garden. He wanted you to join him once you woke up,” Barbara said, rolling her eyes at Dick and Tim. 

“Don’t worry. It’s not Selina.” Steph smirked as she ate a piece of banana. Bruce narrowed his eyes at her, but she just laughed. 

Bruce hummed. “Alright. Barbara, don’t let the boys near the stove.” He walked out with the sound of Dick and Tim’s protests behind him. A rare smile tugged at his lips. 

For the one hundredth time today, he missed you. He imagined you would have been in the kitchen, keeping Dick and Tim out of trouble while baking your special birthday breakfast that only you could make. His heart ached. Why did he push you away when he should have been pulling you close?

Cass was waiting by the doors to the garden. She skipped up to him and kissed his cheek. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.” He smiled, frowning at the glee hidden in her eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Alfred’s waiting.” She gave him a quick hug and ran off. 

Bruce stepped out into the garden. He walked the path toward the place Alfred always had tea. Laughter reached his ears as he approached. He stopped just before the final corner, listening.

“That cannot be true. You must be pulling my leg,” Alfred said, chuckling in a way Bruce hadn’t heard in a long time. “They can’t have created a Superman musical.”

“Yep, it’s all the hype in NYC right now. Apparently, it got nominated for a few Tonys.” Bruce’s heart stopped. That voice. Could it be? Bruce peeked around the corner. “I think one of the songs goes like ‘Superman, he flies as much as he sings. Superman, he does all the things.’ Honestly, it’s stuck in my head,” you laughed hard. You were older, more mature.  A lump formed in his throat. His little baby grew up.

Alfred shook his head. “Unbelievable what the theater has become.” 

“I’ll get you tickets next time you’re in town,” you said, picking up your tea cup. 

Alfred clicked his tongue, standing up. “I’m happy you are finally home, Mx. (Y/N).” He poured another cup of tea in the third cup on the table. “Now I believe it’s time for me to go in and check on the others.”

“I’ll come with...” You stood up, stopping when you turned to meet Bruce’s eye. Bruce almost ducked back around the corner, but stopped himself. 

Alfred patted your shoulder. “You both have much to discuss.” He walked toward Bruce, leaning over to whisper. “Don’t you dare blow this, Master Bruce. I doubt you’ll get another chance.”

Bruce pursed his lips, watching as Alfred left. He hummed, turning back to you when you took a breath. 

“So...” You shoved your hands in your pockets, rocking on your feet like you used to do when you were a child. Bruce felt a smile tug at his lips. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.” He approached you slowly. To your credit, you didn’t move away. “(Y/N)...you’ve grown.”

You snorted. “Yeah, that happens after seven years.” 

“I heard you are pretending to work for Broadway,” Bruce said, raising an eyebrow. The Batman in him wanted to interrogate you. The father in him cursed the Batman in this moment. “But you are actually working for the D.E.O.” 

You chuckled, rolling your eyes as you looked over his head at the manor. “Sure, I am. I should have known that would be the first thing you would say.” Bruce could feel you distancing yourself. 

“I...” Bruce sighed. He pressed a hand over his mouth. “I always mess up with you, don’t I?”

Your eyes widened in slight surprise. “Yeah, you do. I suppose you do it to all of us except maybe the new kids. Tim and Cass seem very nice. Maybe a little too intrusive?”

Bruce blinked. He remembered Cass and Tim went off comms last night. Tim’s bruised nose made more sense. You always aimed for noses. A habit he tried to break you of. “They brought you here, didn’t they?”

“Mostly Cass, but Tim was there too.” You shrugged. “They convinced me to come. Cass wanted me here for your birthday because she said you missed me.” 

He blinked. Of course Cass would have noticed that. “That’s true.” Bruce took a step toward you. “So much. I miss your laugh, your smile, the way you make fun of me at every turn.” His chest was heavy with rare emotion. “You’re my child. I loved you since you were first put in my arms.” A lump formed in his throat. “I was angry and I didn’t mean what I said to you all those years ago. I’ve regretted every day since.”

A cloud covered the sun. Your face disappeared in the shadow. A low hum came from you. Bruce wondered if this was how everyone else felt when he responded with only an indecipherable hum. 

The cloud passed. Bruce saw tears in your eyes as the light revealed your face. “I’m sorry too. What I said in return...unforgiveable.”

Bruce opened his arms. “(Y/N), I’m happy you are home.”

You stared at him for a moment and suddenly you were flying into his arms. Breath left Bruce’s lungs. You were bigger and stronger now. “I love you, Dad.” You whispered softly, hiding your face into his shoulder.

“I love you too, my little cookie monster.” Bruce smirked when you scoffed, pulling away to look him in the eye.

“Don’t ever call me that again, old man.” You narrowed your eyes as Bruce laughed, clapping a hand on your shoulder. 

“Sure.” Bruce led you over to the tea table. “Now I want to hear everything.” You tensed, but Bruce held up his hands. “Nothing you don’t want to tell me and I actually prefer if you don’t tell me about the D.E.O.” 

You snorted. “Wow, you have gotten softer. I thought Dick and Jay were lying.” You took a seat and added sugar to Bruce’s tea. Bruce smiled, realizing you remembered how he took his tea.

“We’ll spar later and then you can see how soft I’ve become.” Bruce studied you. When you were younger, Alfred always claimed you looked a lot like Bruce. Bruce never could see it. He always saw your mother, but now, you were definitely his child and he couldn’t be prouder.

***

Cass tittered, watching you and Bruce from a window on the second floor. The two of you were laughing. Her lips pulled up in a big grin.

“How are they doing?” Tim asked suddenly. Cass jumped a little, narrowing her eyes as he laughed. He stepped up beside her to look out the window too. “I’m getting better at sneaking.”

“Better, but not great.” Cass snorted as Tim gasped. She ignored his protests. Bruce’s shoulders relaxed. His jaw loose, smile lines appeared on his face. She sighed.

“What?” Tim asked once he realized Cass wasn’t listening to him. 

Cass looked at Tim, reaching up to touch his bruised nose. Tim winced. “Bruce is happy now.”

Tim looked out the window. He smirked. “Yeah, I think he is.” Cass wrapped her arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder. Both of them kept their eyes on Bruce and you. The family was finally reunited.

[vodrae]

Characters and their score playing chess against Alfred

Bruce: After hours of supense, lost

Selina : Bribed Alfred and won

Talia : After hours of suspense, lost

Barbara : Tie

Dick : After hours of suspense, lost

Jason : Aiming a gun on Alfred's head didn't work, lost after a regular game

Tim : Found in the kitchen contemplating the multiverse after drinking 5 monsters, 911 called, no contest

Stephanie : Tried to take Alfred out of the zone, didn't work, lost

Cass : Ate the pieces, won

Duke : Currently playing, the future is changing CONSTANTLY

Damian : Is beating the living shit out of Jason with Selina, he threatened Alfred The Cat who just wanted to play chess.

Alfred : Knows how to not engaged in a battle that would take everything from both of them.

[thelibrarian1895]

Social Profile

Brucie Wayne is often invited to charities, galas, openings to future trendy spots, and other similar things that the rich/famous are invited to attend and can't always refuse without social repercussions. Bruce has an algorithm that lets him figure out how many of these things he has to go to in order to most effectively maintain the Brucie mask and do the most good while still being able to have time for Batman/being a social awkward introvert. Bruce helps each of his kids adjust the algorithm to suit each of them and their social batteries and social persona.

The other awkward part of being famous, whether or not they come with a date. Brucie Wayne famously attends with various models, actresses, actors, singers, artists, and Selina Kyle who is a category to herself. The models/actors/actresses etc are chosen based on how likely they are to notice if Bruce sneaks away and how much they're really just wanting to go to an event for their own social networking. Most of them have no physical interest in Bruce but are willing to let people think they slept with Brucie because why not? Bruce is slightly less of a slut than he appears in that he doesn't tend to sleep with civilians though he won't necessarily say no.

Dick goes to events almost exclusively with Barbara, Donna, or Kori or as part of Bruce's group. In a pinch Stephanie might put on some makeup to look older and be his arm candy but he'd have to bribe her a lot. He's able to dodge most events since he has a much lower civilian profile. Dick will always show up as a volunteer for charity events.

Jason laughs at all his siblings and sometimes watches the news reports of events while eating popcorn. In this one situation, it's good to be dead. On occasion he might stage a kidnapping. He will also be on standby to help save the day/provide a distraction if an event where a Bat is attending as a civilian is attacked somehow. He is there as security and a volunteer for charity events.

If Jason is forced back into the limelight, he will claim trauma and be famously a hermit and still stay at home and laugh at whichever sucker is stuck attending while he eats popcorn/watches to make sure that nothing goes wrong. If it's a charity event where something is actually being done, like a walk for charity or handing out things then Jason will be there as one of the volunteers and not as Jason Wayne.

Tim Drake Wayne is stuck going to the most events after Bruce and he is enormously annoyed by the fact. He has his own algorithm. He'll either go to an event as part of Bruce's group or he'll get a member of YJ to come as his arm candy. He, of course, makes sure they have a dress or suit that's appropriate for the evening. Cissie is the one who acts as arm candy for him most often since she can use the events for her own networking and has the most patience for all that nonsense. Bart will do many things for Tim, but he won't do this. He will, however, be ready to extract Tim and Tim's companion at a moment's notice. Cassie, Greta, and Anita will only go if there's going to be really good food or Tim treats them to something extra delicious and an opportunity to beat something up afterwards, Tim also has to pay for babysitters for Anita. Kon is the one who goes with Tim most often after Cissie and he and Tim whisper various commentary to one another about the other attendees. Whoever makes the other laugh out loud picks their next outing together. All of them will show up for charity events, handing out food and drinks or doing whatever, as long as their schedules will allow.

Stephanie, like Jason, watches with popcorn since she's not an official Wayne. She'll sometimes be Tim or even Dick's arm candy but otherwise is suited up and ready to cover the attendee's patrol or save the hapless civilians at a moment's notice. Never has she been more glad to not be famous than after an evening of attending ONE trendy event and being patronized and unable to punch someone the entire evening. She will also be one of the volunteers at charity events that have volunteers.

Cass will accompany Bruce or Tim and then hang out by the food. She has little interest in being at whatever event, unless it's for charity, and is plotting how to be another Wayne family hermit. She does like being a volunteer at charity events.

Duke sticks to Cass at events if he has to go or he sticks to Bruce. He plans to be exclusively the Wayne that goes to charity events, something he'll have to battle with all the rest of the family about since they all would rather be the Wayne at charity events.

Damian, a child, is not looking forward to the various social activities that help maintain a civilian mask. He's torn between being the next Wayne of Wayne enterprises or following Dick's footsteps and going for a lower civilian profile.

[jinjeriffic]

Bruce Wayne meets Indiana Jones

Aka the crossover that I've been rotating in my head like a rotisserie chicken.

Selina knows two things about her boyfriend. First, he won't take a vacation unless he's tricked into it. And second, he just can't resist a good mystery. He's like pathologically incapable of not sticking his nose into things! And oh look, she's heard through the grapevine that a certain Doctor Jones is trying to get funding for an expedition to retrieve MacGuffin du jour.

(Said MacGuffin is of course a magical artifact that could be turned into a WMD. C'mon, it's an Indy story)

So Selina drags Bruce along to the University/Museum Fundraising Gala and "Oh Brucie, you just have to meet my old professor, he's such a card!" and "Oh and how is your research going Dr Jones? You always have such interesting projects!".

Cue some shady figures breaking into Indy's office during the gala to steal his research notes. The antagonists for this story can be like, a shady PMC who want to use the MacGuffin as a weapon or something. Or maybe some right-wing terror group? Take your pick.

Of course, now Bruce is invested. C'mon, they gotta find the MacGuffin before those ruffians get their hands on it! It's a race against the clock!

Indy is a bit non-plussed by the whole situation, but hey this billionaire himbo is perfectly happy to fly them across the world on his private jet and bribe/charm their way past any bureucratic red tape. The guy may be dumber than a sack of rocks, but Indy isn't exactly a spring chicken anymore. His mind may be sharper than ever, but he's too old to do all that Nazi punching and death trap dodging by himself!

So begins their adventure across multiple scenic locales, with Bruce having to keep up his Brucie facade, trying to not appear too competent, while still being useful enough that Indy won't just ditch him and Selina. "Accidentally" tripping the goon trying to grab him. Leaning against a wall just in the right spot to open the secret door. Absentmindedly pocketing the Vital Clue just before they have to flee the ancient ruin before it collapses etc.

Meanwhile Selina is trailing along with them in a sunhat and giant sunglasses, sampling the local cuisine and cocktails wherever they go. Parkouring her way past the room filled with deathtraps without spilling a drop of her Mai Tai. "I was in university on a gymnastics scholarship, remember Dr Jones? Of course I've kept up on my skills!". She's having the time of her life, listening to crochety old Indy critique Brucie's Nazi punching technique.

She can't wait to see what they'll do for their next 'vacation'!

Btw it's very important to me that Batman doesn't make an appearance in this story until like, the epilogue. Because it's much more entertaining to have Brucie in the hotseat when he can't act as a hyper-competent badass.

[lfthinker]

So some Riddlerang headcanons to distract myself from my ennui.

-Mirror Master will unceremoniously dump Digger off in Gotham when he gets so sexually frustrated he starts picking fights with the other Rogues.

-Jervis Tetch will get himself sent to Arkham on purpose when Digger’s in town, because Digger and Ed make date nights out of bullying Tetch.

-Whenever Ed goes to visit, Wally braces himself, because he knows that Digger’s going to pull off some ridiculous stunts with his flashy new boomerangs to impress the Gotham Rogue.

-Flash’s Rogues are more accepting of them generally, even if Ed rubs some of them the wrong way, because Ed stays out of their way and a happy Digger is a less obnoxious one.

-The Gotham Rogues on the other hand can’t stand Digger and hate everything about this situation, especially Selina and Oswald.

-Oswald tried to bribe Digger to break up with Ed. Digger took the money and took Ed out on the wildest date night Gotham had ever seen and dared Oswald to do something about it.

-God help Digger when he does get Ed mad, because Ed can and has sent a drone after him even when he was in another country with Task Force X.

-Speaking of Task Force X, Ed can and has hacked into their secure comms to talk to Digger whenever he’s bored, angry at him, or on one memorable occasion, to initiate phone sex. Amanda Waller was Not Amused.

-In the event that their kids are around…Owen is weirded out by Ed at first, and the thought of someone like him being with his Dad, but he gets used to the situation pretty quick and gets along with Ed fine. Digger and Enigma on the other hand? It’s on sight, 24/7, 365. The only reason Digger has not killed this ranga is because she’s Ed’s kid and that she and Owen get along like peas and carrots.