#or autistic or some non-standard trait

[seasonallydefective]

After rewatching Ghostbusters: Afterlife and also seeing Frozen Empire, can I just say how much I love the autistic, queer, butch science girl rep??

I ultimately grew into a transmasc NB but as someone who is AFAB I still would have been wow’d by that as a kid. And it still makes me feel seen, now.

Possibly controversial statement but I also love that none of Phoebe’s character traits are Big Plot Points; they’re just there. I do love her weird as fuck jokes though. That’s definitely a mood from my childhood 😂

[autball]

MASKING MYTHS BUSTED: “Masking = Acting NT.”

FALSE.

Autistic masking does not necessarily mean “pretending to be allistic/neurotypical," although you’d definitely be forgiven for thinking it does.

Non-autistic researchers have been referring to it as “camouflaging” for years, framing it as an intentional choice to suppress autistic traits and replace them with allistic ones in order to “blend in.” Doing an internet search on the term will return several similar results.

But now, Autistic researchers are in the game, and their take is much more nuanced and comprehensive than that. (Funny how that happens, isn’t it?)

They’ve found that:

- It CAN be intentional but is often subconscious and involuntary 

- It is a protective response to trauma and feeling unsafe 

- It is often about suppressing more than just autistic traits 

- It is about identity management and being able to predict how people will treat you, not just “blending in”

Some people will lean into being “the bad kid” because they know that’s what people expect of them. Some people will even act “more autistic” because they know that’s what people expect of them. Others still will do things to attract attention in controllable, more “acceptable” ways to avoid attracting attention in unsafe, more stigmatizing ways. Not because they WANT to be that way, but because it lets them predict people’s responses better, which feels safer.

Also, there are Autistic people who can’t “pass” for non-autistic no matter how hard they try. That doesn’t mean they’re not masking. They may actually be working hard to suppress A LOT, they just can’t do everything to neuronormative standards.

None of these people will be accused of “blending in,” yet they are still masking their hearts out. When we assume they are not, we miss all the harm that masking is causing them. But they are suppressing themselves and suffering the consequences of that just as much as any Autistic person whose mask successfully says, “Hey, I’m just like you!”

(For more on this, please see the work of Dr. Amy Pearson and Kieran Rose.)

[catoperated]

Saw a post where someone described something as lame, a bunch of people in the comments said it was a slur, and a bunch more replied “how can that possibly be a slur.”

I’ll tell you… under the cut.

So let’s talk about ableist slurs.

There are a lot. Some terms relate to specific conditions. When you do a google search for “pinhead” the top results are all about Hellraiser. People who use it to describe someone as being stupid probably have no idea of its actual origin.

As a slur, it refers to people with microcephaly. People with small and/oddly shaped heads were a big draw at freak shows of the past. Oh yeah, “freak” is ableist, too. People fight back hard against that one. Y’know because they’re better than those freaks who like the wrong cartoon or whatever (sarcasm).

Lame refers to being unable to walk properly for whatever reason. You might’ve heard of lame horses, but even wiktionary outright calls using it to describe disabled people as dated and offensive.

Dumb was synonymous with mute in the past, which usually meant non-verbal autistics. “Blind, deaf, and dumb” was once a medical term referring to people who could neither see, hear, nor talk. Helen Keller was described as that, and before anyone gets into TikTok conspiracies, I’ve got a video for you. Was Hellen Keller a fraud?

No, but abled people on TikTok just can’t seem to wrap their heads around the concept of formerly non-communicative person, given the proper tools, being so eloquent. Hell, I can barely touch type on a standard keyboard, so I rely a lot on my phone’s assistive tools to do most of the work for me. Leads to very weird typos sometimes.

And yes, while I’m on the subject, I’m sick and tired of people using predictive text as an excuse to justify generative AI models built off stolen data and art. When people say “fuck AI” they mean that kind of AI, and to act otherwise is to be deliberately obtuse.

I debated if “obtuse” was a little to close to “stupid,” which I try to avoid. I personally wouldn’t go so far as to forbid people from using more general terms like that, or phrases like “are you blind”—I’m too tired to be combative about it when I’m constantly having to prove I’m disabled (they act like I’ll wake up one day miraculously cured from cerebral palsy) to keep my benefits, but alternatives like ridiculous are right fucking there. Expand your damn vocabulary. Please.

I feel like I need a break before the next part, so here’s one of my cats. His name is Riley.

(ID in Alt text, unless tumblr ate it again)

Maybe you think this post is ridiculous. I don’t care. I grew up being called a spaz and having people tap their hands to their chest to mock me—I’m not even quadriplegic, I’m diplegic, but I guess that’s just the universal sign for the r-slur.

Wild that we finally reached the point that “retarded” is widely accepted as not cool to say, but commenters on YouTubr using “regarded” as a stand-in for it is just… I don’t know, lazy?

All this is just me trying to distract myself from the fact I’m in the path of the hurricane and the lights are already flickering. The basement is most definitely going to flood even if it only wings us, and I do not look forward to dealing with that.

I have no bread, milk, or eggs because of the grand southern tradition of making a run on grocery stores when bad weather looms. I always wondered what people did when they ended up with an excess after it passed—make a shitload of French toast? idk I’m stress-digressing here.

Oh, and because we have to keep saying it, cripples can reclaim any and all of these words, but ableds cannot. I’ve seen people argue that abled, like cis, sounds like a slur, when it’s literally what cis able people are—able-bodied, cisgender, the “standard.”

And we all know how people can get when faced anyone who goes against that white, able, neurotypical, cisgender, straight “standard.”

Imagine me making air quotes with that, cause people treating those traits as being “normal” are so… droll. (sarcasm again)

[borom1r]

WEIRD fuckin ask but we talked about it once and it would not exit the brain. Flavours of neurodivergence within the fellowship: discuss?

OGH. no, good ask. good ask I love it. AUTISM FLAVORED bc that is my own experience :3

Aragorn— autism of the “I Am 100% A Changeling, I Have No Idea How To Relate To Humanity” variety. like yea being partly raised by elves didn’t help but he absolutely wandered around mimicking people to learn how to Behave Like A Person. autism trait absorption for the win!! comes to Minas Tirith and gets a painful crash course in masking, but never quite figured out how to Not stare at someone like a feral cat when he wants something from them (despite the Stare, HATES eye contact)

Boromir— OPPOSITE AUTISM. very direct. EXTREMELY rigid routines. military history special interest (literally just undiagnosed dad autism). probably has food sensitivities but he’s spent so long as a soldier he can just eat anything now. he hates it and he won’t eat a big portion of non-safe foods, but at least he can swallow them. he IS absolutely 100% undiagnosed and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong but if he doesn’t get to perfectly make his bed every morning he will be in a Noticeably Bad Mood for the rest of the day < does not understand that this isn’t normal

Gandalf— oh there’s definitely something going on there, but good luck with figuring THAT out

Legolas— AuDHD king. the autism/ADHD comorbidity is real and he barely bothers to mask. least of all in front of men?? he’s an elf prince and you expect him to act “normal” by human standards? I love how jacked up the Hobbit film timeline is bc Thranduil implying to Legolas “yeah go hang out in Rivendell with a ten year old” is SO funny. canon to me tho. there was a very significant chunk of time where Aragorn was just Mini Legolas. hell world for civilized Rivendell elves. unlike Aragorn, however, prefers very direct eye contact. WILL fully hit you with the 👁️👁️ almost unblinking for a whole conversation

Gimli— I’m gonna be real here. I think neurotypical but in the sense of like. literally nobody cares. dwarves are craftsmen, artisans, smiths, you think they’re going to risk squandering talent simply because somebody needs some accommodations? are you nuts???? like yea maybe somebody’s a Little Weird Sometimes but they can work the forge just fine or tool leather for straps/handle wraps, or draft designs, or stamp metal for decorations, like?? doesn’t particularly grasp the need for labels when you can just work with ppl to figure out what’s best for them + then everyone’s happy. fully has to stew on the fact that Men Don’t Do That, men are actually very rigid about what is socially acceptable and won’t provide accommodations Unless there is a label. wild.

Frodo— autism/depression hell combination. no meltdowns, only shutdowns. auditory processing disorder!! definitely also has poor temperature regulation (CONSTANTLY cold). hey did u know that’s a symptom of ASD? crazy. WILD. anyways. Sam knows he can barely handle the feeling of mittens/gloves so half the time when they’re hanging out is Sam just holding Frodo’s hands so they actually fucking warm up for a bit. not too rigid about Big routines, most of his are Little (always putting a specific amount of sugar in his tea, for example)

Sam— neurotypical but in the sense of my dad where he was just SO used to me being Autistically Strange that he was just like. “well, that’s Strider!” < blissfully unaware. fully just SO used to whatever’s going on w/ Frodo+Merry that it’s Normal to him. like wdym they’re different?? those are just his friends?? hello??

Merry— ADHDDDDDDDDD. and look ik Tolkien said pipeweed is just tobacco but that’s a lie and we all know it, right? right. self-medicating with pipeweed.

Pippin— neurotypical but Pippin-flavored

[theherdofturtles]

I like hearing about your autistic!England headcanons - thanks for sharing.

You hc that England doesn’t have any idea that he could be autistic - but in your hc, do you think that any of the other nations might have realised it?? Or does England ‘hide’ his traits well enough?

Thats,, a good question.

Likely they don't ? Realistically, most people don't know much about autism and have very narrow ideas of what it looks like, so I don't think many of the countries would look for it or recognise it? The ones who suspect wouldn't say anything for fear of being wrong since England 100% masks himself into oblivion and negative stigmas against autism are still pretty common. They know he's a bit strange of course, but all of them are strange in their own ways, so to them they think the traits that sometimes show are typical England oddness and you either accept it, get used to it, or hate it. Now, if anyone ever suggested it, then I think they would have an easier time realising.

It would be slow. Many of them (including England) would have stereotypes to get over. The popular image of autism is type 3 (unable to mask) or the standard TV version—where autism is depicted as so intelligent they might as well have superpowers and they often act like children. Many of the nations wouldn't understand the concept of masking, and I'm sure at least one nation would mistakenly think it's a compliment to say 'no, England is not autistic.' No one would say anything to England's face until later.

England has definitely heard autistic being tossed around as an insult, maybe even by the other nations themselves before, so he would probably be strangely pleased upon learning anyone is denying these 'baseless claims.' Some would see it very clearly and accept it easier than England himself would. I bet it would be a tense topic.

But being 'discovered' would inevitably and pointlessly change the other nations' perspectives of England which would unfortunately validate his internal animosity towards unmasking. There would still be negative stigmas, maybe even pity. He also really hates the concept of getting help, he's so prideful, he'd rather die than have anyone try to help him. He takes pride in believing he's been so unhealthily suppressing everything perfectly fine on his own.

I think these ones could suspect / know first:

Most likely nations to first realise 1. Germany - England and Germany understand one another too well 2. Wales - he's the only UK bro who hangs out casually with England in the modern era and the only one in the disaster family keeping regular tabs on his siblings in a non-political manner. 3. China - this man studies the other nations' lives like they're his own personal soap operas. He knows more about them than they know about themselves. He's also not going to help England at all.

Last nations to realise: 1. England - it's denial all the way down. 2. America - he doesn't really know what autism is until three months after he's been told England has it. Probably went to read about it on wiki but got distracted by a website on cat psychology and by the time he was investigating hadal amphipods it was 4 am.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Andrew Doyle

Published: Mar 5, 2024

The ideological march through the medical institutions was rapid and unexpected. In recent years, we have seen leading paediatric specialists asserting that children who say they are “in the wrong body” must have their feelings immediately affirmed. We have been told that if a boy claims to be a girl, or vice versa, they must be believed and fast-tracked onto a pathway to medicalisation: first puberty blockers, then cross-sex hormones, and in some cases irreversible surgery.

This worldwide medical scandal has disproportionately impacted gay, autistic, and gender non-conforming children. Where clinicians should have been looking out for the interests of the vulnerable, they have been encouraging them to proceed with experimental treatments. Few people would have imagined that mutilating children to ensure they better conform to gendered stereotypes would one day be considered progressive. But here we are.

Much of the responsibility must lie in the hands of WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health), a US-based organisation established in 1979 that is recognised as the leading global authority in this area. WPATH has pushed for the normalisation of the “gender-affirming” approach, and its “Standards of Care” have formed the basis of policies throughout the western world, including in the NHS. 

But in an explosive series of leaked files, the credibility of WPATH might now be irreparably shattered. Whistleblowers have provided author and journalist Michael Shellenberger with videos and messages from the WPATH internal chat system which suggest that the health professionals involved in recommending “gender-affirming” healthcare are aware that it is not scientifically or medically sound. A full report has been written by journalist Mia Hughes for the Environmental Progress think-tank. The title is as chilling as its contents: The WPATH Files: Pseudoscientific Surgical and Hormonal Experiments on Children, Adolescents, and Vulnerable Adults.

Some of the leaked internal messages are astonishing in their disregard for basic medical and ethical standards. For all that paediatric gender specialists have publicly stated that there is a consensus in favour of the “affirmative” model, and that this approach is safer than a psychotherapeutic alternative, their private conversations would seem to suggest otherwise.

There are messages in The WPATH Files proving that surgeons and therapists are aware that a significant proportion of young people referred to gender clinicians suffer from mental health problems. Some specialists associated with WPATH are proceeding with treatment even for those who cannot realistically consent to it. After all, how could a pre-pubescent or even adolescent child fully grasp the concepts of lifelong sterility and the loss of sexual function? As one author of the WPATH “Standards of Care” acknowledges in a leaked message:

“[It is] out of their developmental range to understand the extent to which some of these medical interventions are impacting them. They’ll say they understand, but then they’ll say something else that makes you think, oh, they didn’t really understand that they are going to have facial hair.”

Or what about the endocrinologist who admits that “we’re often explaining these sorts of things to people who haven’t even had biology in high school yet”? And these are the very patients who have been approved for potentially irreversible procedures.

Even when mental health concerns are severe – the WPATH Files include references to schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder – patients have been allowed to “consent” to surgical procedures. Consider the following example, in which a nurse has contacted a leading member of WPATH to raise concerns about an adult patient with PTSD, major depressive disorder, observed dissociations, and schizoid typical traits. Can such a person possibly consent to treatment? According to one of the authors of WPATH’s “Standards of Care”, the answer is a resounding “yes”:

“I’m missing why you are perplexed… The mere presence of psychiatric illness should not block a person’s ability to start hormones if they have persistent gender dysphoria, capacity to consent, and the benefits of starting hormones outweigh the risks… So why the internal struggle as to ‘the right thing to do’?”

Treatments discussed in the leaked files include the removal of genitals, mastectomies, “minimal-depth vagino­plasties (vulvoplasties), phallus-preserving vaginoplasties, and nullification proce­dures”. A gender therapist in California speaks of intervening “on behalf of people who have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, cPTSD, homeless, and got at least an orchiectomy” (removal of the testicles).

Those who have raised questions about such extreme procedures have been accused of “gatekeeping”. Even those who have later regretted their surgery have had their concerns trivialised. A Canadian endocrinologist acknowledges evidence from Dutch researchers of post-transitional regret, but says “it’s there, and I don’t think any of that surprises us”. The WPATH Files provide clear evidence that specialists are aware of the risks, but that they simply accept it as inevitable. One doctor is quoted as saying:

“It would be great if every patient could be perfectly cleared prior to every sur­gical intervention, but at the end of the day it is a risk/benefit decision.”

For some time now, it has been assumed that the “affirmative” approach is the only way to prevent patient suicides. But last July, a letter to the Wall Street Journal signed by twenty-one leading professionals involved in the care of gender-diverse youth opposed the view that this form of treatment is optimal, and pointed out that there is no secure evidence that puberty blockers reduce the risk of suicidal ideation. Last month, this was confirmed in a study published in the British Medical Journal based on a group of Finnish adolescents who were being treated for gender dysphoria between 1996 and 2019. So why have experts at WPATH taken a different view, in spite of their awareness of serious side effects and potentially fatal outcomes of the treatment they espouse?

The answer lies in one word: ideology. The new religion of gender identity is entirely faith-based, and so evidence that exposes its inherent dangers is dismissed outright by believers, even those with medical qualifications. The impact of all this is summarised by Mia Hughes in her report on the WPATH Files, in which she argues that the organisation has violated its ethical responsibilities:

“While there is a place in medicine for risky experiments, these can only be justified if there is a reliable, objective diagnosis, no other treatment options are available, and the outcome for a patient or patient group is dire. However, contrary to WPATH’s claims, the best available evidence suggests that gender medicine does not fall into this category.”

Given the fact that so many organisations have relied on WPATH’s “Standards of Care”, these revelations could be a game-changer. The ideological capture of medical institutions has resulted in reckless treatment of some of the most vulnerable in society. Patients need to understand the risks involved, and be able to make informed decisions. If nothing else, there must now be a serious reassessment of the validity of the “gender-affirming” model of healthcare.

Full details of the WPATH files can be found in the report by Mia Hughes for Environmental Progress. You can read it here.

--

[system-of-a-feather]

Vent-ish, Advice Welcome

But man, being in a relationship with someone who has empathy (possibly hyperempathy) as someone who has almost as low affective empathy as you can get is fucking hard man. Even with good communication and awareness of how one another are in regards to empathy talk, theres just shit that comes with being hyperempathetic and no-empathy that just inherently are hard to match as the opposing polar

Cause when hes bad, he would really like someone who can have and understand that - at least - affective empathy mindset and approach and that is NOT a bad thing about him, nor is it an ableist thing or anything, its fair to want and feel the need for something like that as long as its not taken out or judged as an intentional trait. It's a compatibility and communication issues that, ideally, could be handled by asking exactly what he would like me to say and how he would rather I approach it and just general what he needs from me in those moments - but in practice, he just does not really have that self knowledge and awareness to tell me what he specifically means and needs when he mentions that and so its just left off with a "this is not what I need / want" without any actual productive or constructive criticism

Which I TOTALLY understand and I'm not mad about cause I get it, I get how it is, but much like its fair that he wishes I could provide that, it is fair that I am frustrated that I can't be given more instruction on how to help provide him with what he needs.

And honestly - if I'm being real - I'm getting really frustrated and tired from this at work, but being autistic in a not-autistic environment, being low-empathy in an empathetic world is just EXAUSTING cause there is jsut so much people EXPECT you to just, infer and know about how theyd like to be interacted with and what they 'actually mean' and tend to perceive it as an intentional and personal decision rather than them just not really making their communication clear to those that aren't to the neurotypical standard.

Its just ughhh can someone write a universal manual for the empathy-intact non-autistic mind that universally answers how to navigate every communication situation with them for autistic people (/hj) cause ughhhh I'd LOVE to meet you at your language and communication style and meet your requests for how you would like to be approached in situations but I can't do that without you knowing what you need ughhhhh

I've asked some of my empathy-intact non-autistic friends how to deal with stuff like this and there are thigns like "just listen" and "acknowledge the struggle without giving advice" and what not and sometimes that works and helps but a lot of the time its just like that too comes off as an incorrect dating sim selection and I'm just like ughhhhhh

Why do I keep getting this symbol above heads

Or even worse

[drdemonprince]

What are your thoughts on tiktok / social media pathologizing extremely common human behaviors as autistic behaviors? (i.e., every regular interest is a hyperfixation, disliking small talk, introversion is synonymous with autism).

I'm all for self-diagnosis/self-realization, but the tiktoks that get circulated the most are the most generic, watered-down "definitions" of autism, and some are just complete disinformation. They don't mention the sensory issues, body/spatial issues, trauma from years of social rejection/pain and discomfort not being taken seriously. It feels like people want to claim generic autistic "traits" but at the same time are repulsed by the idea of ever identifying with autistic people (i.e. "you can't headcanon Wednesday Adams as autistic because I relate to her!").

But all this autism lip service hasn't transIated in increased services or support for autistic adults (at least in my area). I've still had to explain my autistic behaviors to therapists because they don't know.

Is there a path forward in all this towards true autism acceptance? Am I missing something, and these are the fledgling first steps in autistic and disabled liberation?? I want to be hopeful, but tiktok just makes me cynical 😩

Yeah, it worries me, largely because of the shoddy logic of "many Autistic people do X" being interpreted as "X is an Autistic Thing!" when really all human behaviors are multiply determined by a variety of variables, including in Autistic people. It also betrays a complete misunderstanding of what diagnostic categories are for -- insurance billing purposes and summaries of what traits tend to cluster together -- casting them as a causative explanation rather than merely an attempt at description (that is often quite flawed).

I also hate this phenomenon and a lot of the discourse surrounding it because I am one of the few Autistic self-advocates to argue that yes, neuro-conforming people actually are correct when they say "everybody is a little Autistic". They might say things like that and blur the lines between disabled and non disabled for the purpose of defending their own worldviews and not having to take ableism seriously, but they are right -- every trait that is described as an Autistic trait, or an ADHDer trait, or whatever does exist within the neuroconforming population, and all these traits exist on continuums and ableist norms of behavior, thought, and feeling actually do harm and pathologize everyone to varying amounts.

So in short i wish that instead of going "oh I experience xyz unpleasant experience, and that's an ADHDer thing, ergo I must be an ADHDer and need to be treated for it!" (or any other category) people would be capable of saying "Oh, it really sucks for ADHDers to be subjected to this experience, and I know how that experience feels too, so we should all fight together to change it!"

I firmly believe that anyone can align themselves with the neurodiversity movement and identify as belonging within our community, because neurotypicality is not real, it's a false standard of behavior nobody can wholly live up to, so in that sense a ton of people self realizing as disabled is totally fine by me. The problem is, people seem to all be self pathologizing instead of realizing they are in a very large and broad marginalized coalition that needs systemic justice.

[6ahaha1amjustaperson9]

Korakáki family 6/7

And second round of this family! Took forever but here they are

》Name: Ace Silas Korakáki

》Age: 65 y.o.

》Race: Skeleton

》Gender: Cis man(He/him)

》Sexuality: Polysexual

》Height: 233 cm

》Soul: Monster Soul - 92%Integrity,8%Perseverance

》ESFP-A

》Personality: protective, impatient on some occasions, brutally honest, enthusiastic, hot-headed sometimes

》Backstory: In his youth, he has always been pretty outgoing about things, as long as they didn't escalate into serious problems. Despite his family situation, he has always taken care of his younger siblings with his twin, always being optimistic, tho when Sophron left to study he was left to protect his siblings until they managed to leave too.

》Family:

•Andromitos Ace Korakáki(Older nephew): Unknown

•Sigrid Korakáki(Younger niece): Unkown

•Sophron Korakáki(Twin) - Unknown

•Sinesio Korakáki(Younger brother) - Unknown

•Dynamene Korakáki(Youngest sister) - Unknown

•???? Korakáki(Father): Alive - widower

•????(Mother): Dead

》Likes: journaling, DIY repair, photography, rain, traveling, sports, forests/wilderness

》Dislikes: heavy jewelry, animal cruelty, rude and illogical people, social media

》Personal traits:

•ADHD

•fast metabolism

•Subtle Tremor Syndrome(STS) – is a (fictional) condition characterized by mild and involuntary shaking of the hands.

》Additional note: Despite working as a freelance photographer and traveling extensively with sponsorships earned through his skill and experience, he maintains a strained relationship with his father. Despite his father's past actions, he continues to check on him, holding onto the hope that their relationship might improve one day, even though he hasn't forgiven him for the hardships inflicted on his younger siblings and himself.

》Name: Sinesio Korakáki

》Age: 62 y.o.

》Race: Skeleton

》Gender: Non-binary AMAB(They/them)

》Sexuality: Fluid

》Height: 189 cm

》Soul: Monster Soul - 75%Weak Integrity,15%Perseverance

》ISFJ-A

》Personality: Nice, truthful, passive, humble, easy-going, good-mannered, has high standards, traditional, emotional, optimistic, unadventurous

》Backstory: being the second child and physically weak has incredibly impacted his family life, especially as his father could only see him as a failure. Nonetheless, thanks to his older brothers' support he still followed his own path and when he was old enough he left too to start a new life.

》Family:

•Andromitos Ace Korakáki(Older nephew): Unknown

•Sigrid Korakáki(Younger niece): Unkown

•Sophron Korakáki(Older brother) - Unknown

•Ace Silas Korakáki(Older brother) - Unknown

•Dynamene Korakáki(Younger sister) - Alive - single

•???? Korakáki(Father): Unknown - widower

•????(Mother): Dead

》Likes: quiet places, literature, books, terminology history, science-fiction

》Dislikes: flashing lights,

》Personal traits:

•Hypomuscular Dystrophy Disorder(HDD) – refers to a (fictional) condition characterized by a reduction in muscle mass and strength, leading to weakened musculature and physical capabilities. It's a combination of "hypomuscular," indicating reduced muscle development, and "dystrophy," which generally refers to a disorder involving the degeneration of tissues or organs.

•blurry vision – wears glasses

•slight light sensitivity

•Autistic

》Additional note: After starting working on their library they finally let themselves relax and enjoy life, as they could indulge in book reading as much as they wanted and share their interest with others. The best part is when they finally sees their younger sister, who has been sent to military school, against her will, at a young age. They still hopes one day they can finally know where his older brothers are and how life treated them.

》Name: Dynamene Korakáki

》Age: 60 y.o.

》Race: Skeleton

》Gender: Demi-girl (She/they)

》Sexuality: Questioning

》Height: 252 cm

》Soul: Monster Soul - 75%Weak Integrity,15%Perseverance

》ISFP-T

》Personality: mostly keeps to herself, can't tolerate violence, rarely angry, emotional, non-rebellious

》Backstory: By her father's will she was forced into the military life just when she arrived to the right age to be enrolled in a military school, and spent her best years like that. Being the only female in the family made things difficult but always got her brothers support, and she will never forget that.

》Family:

•Andromitos Ace Korakáki(Older nephew): Unknown

•Sigrid Korakáki(Younger niece): Unkown

•Sophron Korakáki(Oldest brother) - Unknown

•Ace Silas Korakáki(Oldest brother) - Unknown

•Sinesio Korakáki(Older sibling) - Alive - single

•???? Korakáki(Father): Unknown - widower

•????(Mother): Dead

》Likes: still exploring but for now romantic and comedy novels

》Dislikes: flashing lights, sharp objects, her father, horror and crime books/ TV series

》Personal traits:

• weak magic

•slight light sensitivity

•PTSD

》Additional note: As she didn't get the occasion to explore things at all she struggles ,now that she is retired, to occupy her time. Luckily enough, the day she decided to transfer in a city and pay visit to the local library...she reunites with one of her older sibling.

[an-anonymous-autobiography]

back in my periodic dan and phil phase and it’s making me think (WIP)

growing up i was always a bit quirky (autistic) and not like the other girls (not really a girl?) and i - was the quintessential - weird kid. i was picked on a fair bit by the other kids, some of them did give me a hard time, but the worst was from the adults. i was too weird, i didn’t behave right, i was a right stroppy teen (i had needs/boundaries), i was the one who had to be whipped into shape, i had to change to fit what was expected of me. i mean really i was kind of just asking for all of the trauma by choosing to be so strange and difficult (autistic and overwhelmed), they were just showing me some good old fashioned tough love.

this didn’t just apply to the ‘difficult’ emotions, it applied to everything. i experienced all of my emotions in the wrong way - the amount of times i was called aggressive just for being passionate about something and getting a little over exuberant. i was forced to quell my happiness because i didn’t show it properly, i felt everything too intensely and any non standard show of emotion had to be kept in check and not left to get out of hand. any chance i did get i took to far cos it was so unfamiliar to me and i didn’t know how to handle it.

i had to do things with reason, there had to be purpose, i guess there kinda had to be a demographic of sorts, someone to validate it and say yes i like this and therefore approve of you doing it.

“i want to do this” “but why?”

“who’s going to see/watch/read/like it?”

bitch? ME!! i want to do this for ME! why must my happiness need someone else’s permission?

i felt i had to justify being happy, or just purely existing. i always had to have a reason for doing things, it seemed the people around me didn’t really understand that sometimes i just wanted to do things for fun. they acted like my trying to be happy was unnatural and as a result those traits were trained out of me, as if joy is disallowed past age 8 and as if autism can be undiagnosed with enough positive thinking and discipline.

i always felt i had to be ‘proper’, and by proper i mean like, serious, mature, without frivolous intention, planned to a T. there was a right way to do things and all i knew was that i could never do it.

bringing this back to dan and phil. i’ve been watching some of their old videos, i keep watching them over again, sometimes i’ll finish one and then replay it pretty much instantly. it gives me so much nostalgia from when i was a kid, but also i can see so much of my old self in what they do. all of that joy that i wanted to experience, just simple awkward nerdy fun. people loved them for it and still do.

it’s not just them, there were/are so many people who became successful because of those traits that everyone tried so desperately to rid me of and it makes me sad to think of all i could have been if i’d just been allowed to be myself.

some of my quirks were a little too outlandish at times but i don’t think any child has a perfect grasp on the real world. i had so much promise and drive and it was taken from me for no reason

seeing all the people i knew, living their lives and being successful, getting jobs, getting degrees, getting married, etc etc. seeing all the people who were ‘worse’ than me now living more fulfilling lives than i feel i’ll ever have. hurts. it hurts to know all of the pain i went through as a kid was for nothing. it didn’t help me, i could have been far greater if i’d been able to just, be. they tried so hard to fix me and all they did was make me so much worse.

i don’t understand anything. i know nothing about the real world, no one ever thought i’d be capable of living like a normal person so i was kept from it. i feel like i was constantly forbade from just living.

it makes me so sad. so angry. all of the life i missed out on cos no one thought i could be human.

i am so tired of being half human.

i could have had a life, i could have done so much, actually been someone. but now i just hide in my room, i literally never leave the house, i don’t do anything. i’m sick of it, being forced to be no one. i’m me and i’ve always been me no matter how much you hate that and you can’t take that away from me. i am ME, you are not. you don’t know me better than i do, you barely know me at all, you don’t deserve to control me the way you do. i’d leave but you trapped me here, hid me from the outside world and got angry when i asked if i was allowed life skills. you made me into this burden you hate so much, and i’m not sorry for the pain that caused you.

███, ███ i just wish you’d take me away, let me stay with you, teach me how to be human like you are.

it’s way too early and i haven’t been to sleep yet

i’m rambling and i can barely keep my eyes open

[lucysweatslove]

I’m in a weird kind of mood… and I don’t really know what it is.

Last night my back was hurting for some reason. Probably sitting too long, but it never went full on spasm mode, just some standard annoying pain that wasn’t enough to be concerning but enough to keep me awake. So I was scrolling through Reddit, maybe the medicalschool sub. I can’t really contribute much. But anyway, I saw this eval somebody posted where an intern (first year resident) gave feedback that was essentially:

Lower than average situational awareness affected interactions with team and patients. Usually needed to be told or instructed in simple tasks 2-3 more times than the average student. It’s his first rotation but general disorganization, clear lack of interest in learning technical skills, nervous energy, and inappropriately timed questions made it difficult to trust him as a reliable team members

If reading this you thought “holy fuck that sounds like he might be autistic” then we are on the same page.

Obvs I’m not diagnosing, and the eval could be projections etc. But there were no specific instances cited and the general complaints are both normal when a) somebody is super anxious because it’s their first ever time doing medicine and it’s GENERAL SURGERY one of the top most difficult clerkships, and b) somebody is autistic??

What’s the student supposed to do? Especially over the subjective things. “Clear lack of interest” could have been an introvert being quiet and unsure how to insert themselves. Maybe last time they inserted themselves, they got a weird vibe- maybe it was inappropriate timing but they couldn’t piece together when it would’ve been more appropriate because, idk, autism? Or general lack of communication because how tf are you supposed to know??

Or maybe the “lack of interest” was a blank facial expression when they’re focusing on learning those “simple” technical skills. And then getting annoyed when they ask for help on these skills so they don’t fuck it up? What the fuck?

ANYWAY obvs I’m annoyed and the eval is non-actionable, (2/5, has mastery of English as a language but does not appear to know how to apply this mastery in a constructive, actionable manner. Does not give any specifics when asked for specifics). But, that isn’t really the point. Not is the point anything to do with the annoying details about how med Ed can be toxic and generally unsupportive.

Nah this morning I was scrolling through YouTube shorts and Jessie Paege came up. Idk much about her as a person tbh but the one off videos I see here and there make them seem like a person I’d probably like to be around. She’s recovered from anorexia (fuck yeah), and the video I saw of them was basically a before and after which I think was mostly about showing off their confidence and happiness etc. And they do look more confident and happier both after recovery and coming out / living more authentically herself.

I like her aesthetics and see a lot of myself in her in many ways. Which makes seeing those videos more difficult for me. When I see enough of my own traits in somebody who has had a similar experience, I start to compare myself to them a little more- and not really them but the presented version of them.

And I really don’t know how I feel because I can’t find words that adequately describe it. But it’s like, little things like how obvious my autism is to most people but I didn’t really didn’t pick it up (over a few short videos??) from her. Or like, comparing “recovered” bodies wondering why, even before I recovered into my size, my overall shape is just. Not socially the norm. Whereas their overall shape is pretty normative for the current social climate (which is also kind of fucked up because why is there a normative body anyway? Obviously fatphobia and the like but like why a normative shape??)

And that often spirals a little. I’m not saying she doesn’t get any hate (if you’re an online personality you’re getting hate; if you’re even a little bit fem at least some of that hate will be about your body). But I am saying that if somebody with MY body size and shape, even if posted the same kind of body-focused stuff, there would be far fewer positive comments.It just is.

And I wouldn’t take any of the positivity away from Jessie, not at all. Again I don’t really follow her or know her super well, idk if she’s ever done anything problematic, and I don’t know her heart. But they seems genuinely to be a good person who deserves love and kindness and to be celebrated for their achievements and resiliency. Just gotta be VERY clear on that.

I don’t really know what it is, but to be these two things - comparing myself / how I experience divergency to somebody else’s divergent experiences AND seeing how divergences are treated in medical education - seem linked to me. Maybe it’s because any form of *showing* divergence is pretty harshly judged in med ed, and then in main culture you can be divergent and show the divergence, but only in specific ways.

Dunno if I’m marking any sense at all.

[inkk7]

It’s Freshman Year of university. The UBrite Bunch are preparing themselves for an intense term. They start off the term with a group homework session.

*silence*

Orchid: …Anyone else bored?

Arianna: Shush, it’s work time okay?

Orchid: :( Okay…

Felix is getting his very first lesson on technology from none other than Computer Science major, Rae.

Rae: Basically, the internet is a non-visible place where anybody can talk to each other or view content. Any questions?

Felix: This all sounds quite fictional. However, I believe I can trust you. Now, what is this section on “keyboard cats”?

After their lesson, Rae decided to take Felix out to teach him how to ride a bike. There were a few scrapes and bruises, but eventually, Felix got a hang of it.

Felix: This is…EXHILERATING!!

After bike riding, Rae encouraged Felix to introduce himself to some sims around campus. The first person he saw was Jasper Nevarez.

Felix: Hello, my name is Felix Psy-uh…Psych…Felix Psych.

Jasper: Hey man, that’s a cool name. I’ll call you Psycho.

Felix: Uh…”cool”!

No one was more anxious for their first day than Arianna. Her parents were both graduates of UBrite and she had some high expectations to live up to, at least she believed.

Arianna: All right, Arianna. Today’s the first day of the rest of your life, no pressure. You just need to make sure that you do good today, and then ace this class, then graduate with a 4.0, then become a celebrated businesswoman, then meet someone, then fall in love, then marry them, then have the perfect family, then-

The first day went great by all standards, Felix did notice a few odd things though. He saw Orchid by the school statue…cleaning it? And leaving it a garden salad? He determined this must be odd modern behavior and instead turned his mind to his heaping pile of homework.

Once homework is completed Jasper Nevarez invites himself over is invited over by Felix. He seems to be completely oblivious to Felix’s abnormalities and merely finds his manner of speaking amusing.

Jasper: What’s up, Psycho?

Felix: Yes, “what is up” my good fellow? I have been informed by Arianna that I need to work on my use of contractions so I thought I might use you for practice.

Jasper: Oh, word?

Felix: Yes, er, isn’t it a nice day out today? I’d like to venture around campus today. Wouldn’t that be nice? Ugh…this is exhausting.

Jasper: Don’t sweat it, man, you did great! (at whatever you were doing *he’s still confused*)

Throughout the term, there were lots of study sessions. That's what happens when you take four classes!

*silence*

Orchid: …I’m bored again

Rae: It’s okay Orchid, now hush, it’s time to study, alright?

Orchid: :((

Poor Orchid just wants to do something fun. Luckily, she started a garden in the backyard.

Gardening and flower-arranging help Orchid clear her mind. She really enjoys the outdoors (even though she doesn’t have that trait), so much so that she thinks she knows what she wants to do with the rest of her life…

Orchid: So, Rae, I think I know what I want to be when I grow up!

Rae: Well, we’re already grown up, but do tell!

Orchid: I want to be a Botanist!

Rae: That’s amazing, Orchid! I was thinking about this myself and I believe I want to be a Computer Engineer with my degree in Computer Science!

Arianna: *yelling from upstairs* I want to be an Investor!

Felix: *yelling from the living room* And I want to be a Judge!

Rae and Orchid: *giggles*

Rae: Remind me if I ever bring a special someone over that we have super thin walls.

Outside class one day Felix decides to ask Rae, now his closest friend, about Orchid’s strange obsession with the school statue.

Felix: Pardon me, I have a question about Orchid. I saw her engaging in some strange behaviors…

Rae: Orchid? “Strange behaviors” might be her stimming. Was she bouncing her knees again?

Felix: No, what is this stimming? I was referring to her fixation with the school statue.

Rae: I don’t know anything about the school statue, but Orchid is autistic.

Felix: What does that mean, is that some sort of illness?

Rae: Well yes and no, it’s a developmental disorder.

Felix: You mean she’s crazy??

Rae: No, no, no, calm down. She has autism, which means (for her) she struggles with social interactions, intense interests, and repetitive behaviors. She’s completely healthy, her mind just works differently than yours and mine.

Felix: So, she’s not crazy?

Rae: Haha, well everyone’s a little crazy, but she’s not any crazier for having autism. Have you…tried talking to her yet?

Felix: I have not, I still believe her bringing me back was inappropriate.

Rae: Have you thought about how that might be making her feel?

Felix: …I suppose I have not yet thought about that…she might be feeling left out…

Rae: Yeah, so you might want to try talking to her. Who knows? Maybe you’ll end up being good friends!

Felix: I don’t know…

Rae: You used a contraction! Good job!

Felix: I did? I did!

That concludes the UBrite Bunch’s Freshman Year! Studying, friendship, and many uninvited guests later, the group is all four units down!

[alarajrogers]

The attitude that being attracted to some unusual trait in humans is a "fetish" and that "fetishes" are automatically disgusting because they automatically deny the humanity of the person with the trait... it really needs to die.

It is ok to be strongly attracted to a specific trait that does not appear in all humans. (It is also ok to be strongly attracted to a body part that most people don't find attractive, such as feet.) Human attraction is kind of weird and complicated, but the truth is, none of us choose who we're attracted to. Attraction just happens.

Objectifying the person you're attracted to means to deny them their humanity. To treat them as if their reason for existing is to satisfy your desire. To confuse your desire for them with their supposed desire to make you desire them. It doesn't mean "find attractive."

"Fetish" in a psychological context is supposed to mean "an unusual trait or body part or other aspect of sexuality that is non-standard, which the person with the fetish requires to feel attraction or to achieve orgasm." It was considered to be a psychological disorder because it prevented people (usually men) from having "normal" sex (as defined as, missionary position with a woman after being attracted to her butt and boobs). It is frankly ableist, homophobic, transphobic, and probably every other kind of negative -ism out there, because being attracted to feet or requiring your partner to have a certain body type that is unusual is not harmful, even if you can't feel attraction otherwise. I mean, by the original definition, being gay could be defined as a fetish for men. And I suspect it was, often.

The term "fetishization", when referring to sexuality, should be considered as offensive and outdated as "penis envy" or "Oedipal complex". There is nothing wrong with being attracted to people with unusual bodies (or usual bodies that society has said "those are unattractive!", such as fat people), or specific traits, or body parts that not everyone finds attractive. There's nothing wrong with needing specific costuming or activities to get in the mood. As long as it's all between consenting adults, none of this is bad. (Including playing child/adult, as long as the partners in question are both adults.) Nothing two adults do together that both consent to and that doesn't result in anyone suffering permanent harm is bad. (I do draw the line at things like consensual murder or maiming.)

"Sexualizing" means taking a person who does not feel sexual desire and pushing them into having a sexy appearance, to gratify your desire. This is bad, but has much more limited application than most people think. You can't sexualize a grown woman who decided to put on a miniskirt and fuck-me heels because she wanted to be sexy. Sexualizing means putting a perception of sexuality on a person who doesn't feel that. And it has to be a person. If you sexualize a cartoon character, no you didn't, you just decided to draw them sexy. They're an inanimate object; they cannot suffer from a disconnect between how they feel and how they are perceived. Sexualization is harmful precisely because of that disconnect between how a person feels and how they are seen. Desexualization is the same thing.

You can cause harm by sexualizing or desexualizing a fictional character, but only through the means of implicitly doing the same thing to those who identify with the character. If you make every autistic black male character asexual, you are doing harm to the autistic black men who look to them as representation. If you make every fictional woman with big breasts a sexpot who uses sex as a weapon, you're doing harm to the women with big breasts who will now be perceived that way by everyone who experienced nothing but that kind of fiction. But this is harm that is done by media in aggregate, not an act that can be specifically committed by any one specific person.

"Objectifying" is genuinely bad, but is not synonymous with "being attracted to." You can find someone's breasts or butt or shoulders (or feet) sexy, and still treat that person as a person. Experiencing attraction to someone does not objectify them! What objectifies them is treating them like your desire for them is the only important quality that exists about them. Treating them like their subjective experience does not matter, or does not exist.

I have seen this concept that having a "fetish" for fat people, or trans people, or Asian people, or whatever, is disgusting, and what they seem to mean is, being attracted to that kind of person is disgusting, or being attracted to that kind of person automatically objectifies the person. And then this results in the kind of horrifying situation that the OP describes, where if you're attracted to fat people, and thus it upsets you that fat people are heavily desexualized and treated as if they're disgusting, you will be described as "fetishizing" fat people and thus your opinions discredited. This is not okay. Being attracted to bodies that society in general says "this is unattractive" is fine, there's nothing wrong with it. Even being attracted to only those bodies, which is what fetishization means, is fine and there's nothing wrong with it. Finding people attractive isn't sexualizing them; perceiving them as trying to attract you or existing to attract you when they are not is sexualizing them. Finding people attractive isn't objectifying them; treating them like that's the only reason they exist is objectifying them.

It is okay to be attracted to fat people. It is okay to only be attracted to fat people. The term "fetishization" is slur-like, having come from the context of "this is a mental illness and therefore bad and must be fixed", and probably should not be used unless you're reclaiming it or using it in a positive context. Accusing people of having a "fetish" because they are attracted to someone for a trait society says is unattractive is... well, it could be any kind of -ism depending on what the trait is, but it is definitely socially unjust. Using the term "fetish" to try to discredit people's opinions (or basic humanity) is also unjust.

romanticize gaining weight this is not a joke.

[diversityintoys]

Identifying And Addressing Stress In Autism

Anxiety and stress are a natural part of our lives. There will always be something that bothers you, causing mental strain, which later turns into anxiety. However, what causes anxiety and stress in people generally differs since everyone is unique and different. 

Studies show that around 40% of people dealing with autism also experience a lot of anxiety. For those who don't know, anxiety can play a critical role in the lives of autistic individuals, affecting how they interact with others and limiting how others interact with them. However, once you identify these problems are derived from anxiety, you can quickly develop a few strategies that can help reduce their stress to a more manageable level. 

To help you out, today we will explain how anxiety works in autistic people and how you can best deal with the situation without causing any extra stress. 

How To Identify Anxiety In Autistic People 

Diagnosing anxiety in autistic individuals may sound easy, but it can take a lot of work. This is because most autism traits tend to resemble the symptoms of anxiety closely. Flicking, pacing, rocking, or doing something over and over again are all actions that may seem like anxiety in neurotypical individuals. However, these could be everyday habits for people on the spectrum. 

Another problem is that autistic individuals generally have a difficult time communicating how they feel. Most autistic people are non-verbal, while others may have limited use of language. Even somewhat verbal individuals with low support needs could have difficulty recognizing and describing their emotional state.

If you are trying to figure out whether an autistic child or an adult is experiencing anxiety, we suggest you look out for the following signs. Once you successfully identify if they have anxiety, you can always introduce standard practices like using autism toys or deep breathing techniques to bring down their anxiety levels. 

They look apprehensive or frightened.

They are unwilling to leave the house.

They are shaking or sweating. 

They are having more emotional meltdowns than usual. 

They refuse to go into certain rooms or place. 

They place hands over their ears or eyes.

They appear jumpy. 

If you notice one or a combination of these signs, it means there is a good chance your autistic loved one is dealing with anxiety. 

How To Help Control Anxiety In Autistic People?

Once you successfully identify an autistic individual who is dealing with anxiety, several techniques can help you reduce their stress to a more manageable level. 

Relaxation Techniques 

Relaxation techniques play an essential role in helping autistic individuals manage anxiety and stress. Techniques like slow breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization can help bring down stress levels and promote relaxation. These techniques provide them with all the tools they need to calm their minds, helping them better cope with any overwhelming feelings associated with stress. 

Engaging In Sensory Activities

Sensory activities could also play a pivotal role in reducing anxiety and stress in individuals with autism. Some people find sensory stimulation quite soothing. Giving opportunities for preferred sensory activities like playing with stress balls or using weighted blankets can help alleviate anxiety and better regulate emotions. 

Collaborating With Professional Healthcare Experts

Collaborating with healthcare professionals can best help you come up with personalized strategies to manage anxiety and stress in autistic individuals. Behavioral therapists, occupational therapists, and clinical psychologists can give you ideal guidance and support to deal with this situation. They can better assess an individual's specific needs and work with you to develop effective strategies. 

Using these tips, you can easily take an individualized and comprehensive approach to stress management for autistic people. 

[fedorahead]

random thoughts

maybe the hypermobile audhd depresso fibro fatigue body wrong brain broken group of people is all one evolutionary branch. we get a lot of shit done that people without these weird clustering disorders can do, and most of us are still out here existing in some way, affecting the world around us even if it isn't always societally valued. i don't want to be lumped into some tribe of these people because, like all people, the majority are cunts. but also, it is interesting to see how often all of these things are comorbid and the real defining difference between all of us is whether we believe each others' tales of their experiences.

i hate people in general, why wouldn't i hate people who have similarities to me that have rendered them some degree of also alienated and outcast? like, maybe it's all one systemic difference from people whondon't have all these issues, and that's why they're popping up more and more. in a society built for people with all these things, very few of us would be rendered disabled. every human is protected from the sun by clothing, and can burn without any. why wouldn't the next step be people supported by orthotics? it's inconvenient but if shit were readily available to accomodate our needs, we largely wouldn't be as miserable or unproductive. if all of society had all the issues this group of people have, we would be accomodated for and maybe thrive. because once you address the nerfs, there are biological advantages to, say, hypermobility and reaching weird angles, autism and the way thoughts are less restrained by social expectation and traditions, the clarity and focus depression can grant, the safety hypervigilance *can* bring, the firsthand empathy feeling pain regularly (again, if it were accomodated) can extend to others, the hyperfocus and creativity adhd brings to the table.......... if we built a world where this shit were expected and made that world more comfortable for everyone struggling with it, we could do some crazy cool shit.

so maybe it's not about whether this person actually has xyz diagnosis or struggle, it's about whether or not they're an asshole and deserve to be in pain all their life. (the answer would sometimes be yes except that people weaponize that struggle and use it to get ahead while stepping on others, too, but also. those people would probably not change and would do the same shit even if it weren't chronic pain they were weaponizing)

anyway, maybe lots of people really do have all these struggles and we're in a turning point in society where they are accomodated and accoladed in some people (often shitty ones) nd punished in other people, and that's just a facet of society rather than a sign anyone actually has anything wrong with them.

the problem is the lack of empathy people weaponizing these traits show to others who are struggling, often more than them. because it's easy to be beloved and pitied when you're cute and your whole mask is some chibi waving and cheering "ganbattemasu" and making a fist in determination, but maybe you don't really have any room to speak on the person whose mask is brash and slips during total meltdowns and gets a bad reputation for both sides. maybe it's the divide in the tribe between the autists and the non-autists who are all struggling with something? but people genuinely find autists offputting even when we're not doing anything wrong, and if you haven't got that experience your entire life, you're not gonna estimate the capacities of those who have. so you can't say "x is easy" or "anyone can do y" because the barrier, the social and traumatic barrier of being an actual alien, is nonexistent for you and you can't perceive where all its tendrils reach. but maybe it's not autistic vs allistic. maybe it's empathy vs very little or no empathy.

i dunno. i just wish people would stop being cunts, and also stop acting like their capacities set some standard for others. i can juggle. it's easy for me to juggle very poorly. i can teach kids to juggle, the very basics, in a day or two. is it fair for me to exclaim "i lost the use of my hands in 2015, and worked my way back and can juggle now, so joint issues aren't a real barrier and anyone can juggle if they try"? or is that wilfully (or otherwise) ignoring the obstacles that others have to it that i lack (like the fact that i was taught in childhood and have practiced on and off for 20+ years)?

it is annoying to watch people have less obstacles, do better, and get told how strong/hardworking/determined they are though. like the beaten down of us are there for a reason, not just through some personality flaw. you never see the battles others are fighting in private or whatever.

i'll also add, in terms of social treatment, being perceived as a cute girl and wearing a mask of determination even while you spiral is absolutely the easiest combo to get support. people who don't have that combo are fucked. i can say that pretty solidly having experienced both sides lol

[tribblefarmer]

This post made some gears slide into place in my head and made me realize that a lot of MB's behavior reads like dysphoria?? Like the refusal of eye contact is an autistic/neurodivergent trait but the fact that it hates being looked at at all? The baggy clothes, the bare minimum effort on its hair, the way it avoids looking at itself in cameras. The constant disgust/discomfort at having organic parts and even the way it describes it's face as "human standard"with absolutely no elaboration.

Murderbot was already very relatable™ to me as a non-binary person with it's lack of human gender but this is a new way to see myself in it. Except that what Murderbot is experiencing isn't exactly gender dysphoria, it's more like human vs. bot body dysphoria? It makes me wonder, what things could possibly make it feel body euphoria?

i see potential for a murderbot that doesn't know what it looks like because it's decided it's safe to delete that information and it automatically applies a filter to any recordings of itself that it processes, and then some day ratthi shows it a picture of of some of its friends doing something, and mb is in the picture, and it points to itself and says "who the fuck is that?" great comedy potential