#gender is fake

[unavailableapple]

The insanity of the trans movement is how genuinely hateful they are of female anatomy. Any slight mention of vulvas just EXISTING is met with such animosity and anger. I love my vag and I love every other pussy on earth and that’s never gonna stop. This is not sexual. I LOVE FEMALE ANATOMY. It deserves to be made into art, to be celebrated, to be worshipped. If you cannot hold space for that, I will not hold space for you.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Follow up to this post where I was asked about the "Autism presents differently in girls" myth, which is one of my many berserk buttons.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of reasons this concept makes no sense and you should stop saying it:

A. Autistic people are more likely than non-autistic people to be trans, nonbinary, or otherwise gender-non-conforming, so any attempt to group autistic people by binary, birth-assigned gender is even less likely to be accurate than the gender binary already is in the general population.

2. There is absolutely no evidence supporting the "presents differently" theory that could not be better explained by clinician bias.

iii. The alleged "presentation differences" between autistic "girls" and "boys" are just bog-standard gender stereotypes with "autism" plugged in somewhere. "Boys are better at math and science and logic and not having feelings and their dominant emotion is Anger, but girls are better at socializing and caretaking and brushing hair and their dominant emotion is Approval-Seeking." "Huh, that sounds like reactionary sexist hogwash." "No, I mean, autistic boys are better at math and science and logic and not having feelings and their dominant emotion is Anger, but but autistic girls are better at socializing and caretaking and brushing hair and their dominant emotion is Approval-Seeking." "Oh, okay, now it's Objective Science."

four. Sexist bias, including among clinicians, tends to frame "male" neurodivergence as essentially cognitive and "female" neurodivergence as essentially emotional, because, as we all know, Men Think, Women Feel. Psychology is obsessed with the idea that "girls" are universally and inherently self-loathing and self-destructive -- anything a "girl" has trouble with cannot possible be a skill she hasn't learned or an ability she doesn't have, let alone merely a different way of being; she must simply be self-abnegatingly denying herself the thing she cannot do. So a "girl" with the same traits as an "autistic boy" will have those traits attributed to something emotional, like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or eating disorders. "Autistic girls" aren't being "missed" (read as neurotypical); they're having their exact same autistic traits as "autistic boys" being framed as mood disorders instead of neurodevelopmental disabilities.

cinco. Fundamentally, this premise gets completely backward what diagnosis means and why pathologization happens. People are pathologized and diagnosed, with any kind of disability, when they have traits that fall outside the range of traits considered "acceptable" for their position. "It's more acceptable for boys to have meltdowns, so autistic boys have more meltdowns than autistic girls, so the boys get diagnosed with autism" -- No, this doesn't make sense. That's not how diagnosis works. If it were more acceptable for boys to have meltdowns, then boys who have meltdowns would not be getting diagnosed with anything. Their behavior would not be seen as pathological. If "It's more acceptable for boys to have meltdowns" were to explain any kind of diagnosis differential, it would be "Therefore girls who have meltdowns are diagnosed, while boys who have meltdowns are just considered normal boys." And, to be clear, that kind of thing is absolutely a factor in gender differences in diagnosis, but in the opposite direction from how people mean it. Like, as a "girl," I wasn't really expected or pressured to be athletic, so my absolutely abysmal gross motor skills were just shrugged at and not seen as a sign of disability. Can't run or throw? Well, I was a girl, and a nerd to boot. What do you expect? A "boy" with my level of gross motor skills would draw a lot more Concern.

ζ. "Girls are pressured to mimic/mask more than boys are," even if true (debatable), elides over the fact that many autistic "girls" can't "mimic/mask," because they are disabled. They have a disability. Because some of the things their society expects them to be able to do are things that they cannot, in fact, do. "Girls don't have meltdowns because they're not allowed to. Girls don't forget to do essential tasks because they're not allowed to. Girls don't --" Okay but they do. Girls do in fact very much do those things. Because they are disabled. Because they have disabilities. Because there are things they are expected to be able to do, which they cannot, in fact, do. And it's weirdly disability-erasing (ableist) to claim that people simply develop the ability to do things they can't do just because they're expected to.

heptad. Circling back to point A., while I can't prove it, I really think a lot of this "gendered autism" stuff is a way to pathologize and also explain away queerness/transness/gender-non-conformity in diagnosed-autistic kids. "Oh, no, don't worry, the reason your son consistently Fails At Masculinity isn't because he's some kind of sissy; it's actually because he has this Masculine Male Boy Disorder where he just doesn't understand how boys are supposed to behave. Lots of boys have it. No, no, the reason your 12 year old son is kissing his male friend on the mouth isn't because he's gay; he just has a social skills disorder and doesn't know that boys don't kiss their platonic guy mate dude friends. It's a very masculine disability. Elon Musk has it." I know somebody who was told by an Autism Mom that all autistic people are bisexual because "They don't know the difference." Sure, keep telling yourself that.

8️⃣. In the past, when I was less Galaxy Brain Mad Radicalized, I conceptualized the phenomenon of "'Boys' are diagnosed with autism while 'girls' with the exact same traits are diagnosed with depression/anxiety/OCD/BPD/ED" as a phenomenon of "Autistic girls, who objectively are autistic, whose objectively, scientifically correct diagnosis is autism, are misdiagnosed with psych disorders instead." But what neither autistic nor Mad people really want to admit is that "autism" is as arbitrary a diagnostic category as any other. No two human brains are exactly alike. All systems of classification are made up. I happen to think that the proposed explanatory mechanism of "autism" (brain processes sensory input/information differently than average, results in wildly uneven skill development) is generally more accurate than the proposed explanatory mechanism of most psych diagnoses (people are weird somehow and that's bad somehow), but it's still fairly arbitrary. People with autism diagnoses get ABA and people with psych diagnoses get CBT/DBT, and you can argue about which is worse, but ultimately anything with a B in it is fundamentally abusive. Abolish psychiatry.

[thomas-flynn]

So much of me going masc again was influenced by afab people staying "lesbians" and being more welcome in the community than trans women.

Just give up being a lesbian. They'll never accept you. Deep down they hate you and they're afraid of you. You'll say some weird mentally ill or horny shit (man coded) and scare their cozy vibes.

Just do what they do, fuck gay men. Transmascs can be lesbians so transfems can be f*ggots. Most t4t transfem lesbians are girlcock perverts anyway. Just admit you're all gay men, give up fighting like labels change anything.

They're all "gynosexual" and you're a f*g. They're all saying "gender is fake" too. They're right. You're a crossdressing man. Man up and accept it, be proud of all the gay men that fought for your rights.

[depressdbitch]

When It comes to criticize Dylan Mulvaneys new song, TRAs go by "oh but cis girls makes songs about stereotypical girls things too!"

The difference Is that these cis girls are forced into female stereotypes from birth and they suffer from internalized misoginy, or ironize their experience.

Dylan was Born and raised a male, and everything about their online persona Is a caricature of a woman. Their Song Is a mockery.

[star-is-cool]

it/its pronouns

people tell me my pronouns are de-humanizing.

however, darling, THATS THE POINT.

im not human, im a funky little alien that happened to land on earth. it didn't get birthed, I fucking spawned from chaos.

so no, you may not only use he/him for me.

dont be a pussy, use my damn pronouns.

[j4zz4lop3]

Where all my bros who are nonbinary not in the sense they're dysphoric being their agab or euphoric being androgynous and in the way that you have no feelings about gender whatsoever and feel detached from the whole thing. Like, I'm just vibing why you care. I don't wanna bind. These are my non-gendered boobs, thx. I don't wanna get a haircut. This is my genderlessly long hair. I've come to a point where fem and masc are just aesthetics to me, and I need to make an effort to acknowledge that someone has a gender.

[crushed-gh0st]

any other autistic individual in a weird relationship with gender?

gender, for a lot of people, is tied to social norms and expectations, but if you don’t naturally perceive or experience those the same way, then it’s like trying to navigate a maze you were never meant to be in. and when you don’t even feel entirely human to begin with? that just adds another layer of what the hell am i even doing here.

and i, for one, genuinely have such a complicated relationship with it. like i wanna look ethereal and i want my gender representation to confuse people and genuinely think "what the hell is that." when they look at me. but i also want them to go all "dude", "guy" and "man" with me naturally. like.... i'm comfortable being a man. but i also want you to not be comfortable with me being a man. does that make sense?

the idea of being masculine but in an untamed, elemental way, like an ancient tree or a celestial being. it's not about traditional manhood, but about being a presence, a force, a concept that exists outside of rigid definitions.

if anyone asks me next time, i'll just tell them my gender is "ancient and vaguely menacing but also kind of comforting in a way you can’t and shouldn't explain."

or "have you ever found a really a cool rock? or the best stick of your life? a dead animal by the side of the road with it's rotting carcass looking weirdly peaceful? yep, that's me dude."

OR "liminal space but make it dude."

OMG EVEN BETTER "forbidden knowledge but in a bro way"

i'm a man, but not in the way you expect. a man the way a mountain is a he. the way a forgotten god in a half-ruined shrine is a he. the way a wolf that lets you get just close enough before vanishing into the trees is a he. the way you refer to literally ANYTHING as a he when you don't know their sex.

it’s the feeling of standing at the edge of a cliff at night, hoodie on, hands in pockets, staring into the void like, sup.

a little unsettling, but in a way that makes people want to grab a beer with it.

maybe my gender isn’t a thing that can be named in human terms. maybe it’s a shifting, untamed presence: something old and strange, like the sound of wind through abandoned places or the way certain forests feel like they remember you.

maybe your gender isn’t meant to be understood either. it just is.

be yourself. be weird.

[number1racoon]

no more cis, trans, and nonbinary. there is only boring, cool, and normal

[ashtastiic]

NORMALIZE FEMININE TRANS MEN

[nezu-mi]

they're definitely dating

[unavailableapple]

Funny how the same people who call me a pick-me for being a gender nonconforming woman also insist that they’re nonbinary because their identity is so much more rich and complex than ‘woman’ and women just can’t understand because they don’t have the fascinating inner lives that ~nonbinary~ people have.

[pretty-sapphix]

when i feel like a boy its always gonna be a “femme boy” way not a “straight guy way”

[iwasateenagebordigist]

God was supposed to make me transfem but he made me a cis bisexual and I think that's terrible

[korva-the-raven]

But seriously though, forget gender...

I need to know what cute animal eraser you are:

[hjellacott]

Sex doesn't need to be changed to "biological sex"

Sex can only EVER be biological, it's the absolute definition of it. Just like you don't need to change the definition of night to "dark night".

We cisgender women and men, heterosexual, gays, lesbians, bisexuals... WE are not confused. WE are not in desperate need of therapy. WE don't need to undergo incredibly expensive treatments and transform the whole of society just to avoid the feeling of committing suicide. WE ARE FINE. But yes, we are getting rather pissed off, because it's infuriating (not to mention, rather terrifying) to see the world go from offering help to dellusional people with severe mental health issues, to trying to convince us all that they're right when we know they're not. And I'm not going to let a bunch of sexist, anti-women, misogynystic people with severe mental problems like these:

...tell me I am the crazy one, the confused one, when I fucking am NOT.

I also refuse to let them tell US we're becoming violent like they're innocent victims. You're the ones murdering women, threatening women, and opening the door to invite all kinds of sexual predators into women's spaces. We were a protected category long before you, you scumbags.