#although cishet men very often make me uncomfy

[iwasateenagebordigist]

God was supposed to make me transfem but he made me a cis bisexual and I think that's terrible

[honeymoonjin]

Welcome back you lovely lovey person!!! So glad to have you back, I cried when you left ( I am a mess ik) and so happy to see you back on my dash. So happy to see you doing what you love to do and not caring if people agree or not (as you should). Sending you love 💖✨ Also I read somewhere reading fics about a pairing you don't identify as (being bi and reading mxm, or trans fics) is similar to fetishizing. What do you think about it?? What really falls under fetishizing i am really confused😕

fetishizing is essentially making something into a kink/fetish. reading, say, a fic or any content with a trans character is not inherently fetishizing. but if you only viewed trans individuals as a sexy concept and didn’t actually care about real trans lives then that would be fetishizing in my eyes. 

i originally started reading mxm because i felt that the stories that involved ships often had a much higher quality than self-inserts, and i still maintain that today. when you already have characters established, you can much quicker get to the meat of the story, and in addition, self-inserts can often fall into the indulgent category (not inherently bad btw) where the focus is on picturing yourself doing all these cool/sexy things w bts. that is something that i don’t particularly care for, i much rather enjoy seeing the bts members as a muse for beautiful stories, and i was finding that at a much higher rate than on tumblr/self-insert fics.  i think that is the case for a lot of readers, and to call it fetishizing is a pretty wild take when the focus is on the story, not using gay sex as a kink if you get me? 

there are plenty of other reasons people read mxm rather than self-insert. for me, mxm is a neutral safe space. tw assault, but one reason i prefer it over female self inserts is that i’ve experienced sexual assault by a female, and now reading graphic content involving women is too much for me to handle. when i’m reading a wonderful story, or even just smut that’s dicks only, it doesn’t make me uncomfy in the same way. i’ve heard that other people engage w content separate to their identity in a similar way, because it’s something neutral and safe. i also wouldn’t view this as fetishization personally. 

what i would view as fetishizing is that there are a fair few people, often (though not always) cishet females of a younger demographic, that produce and consume content with gay sex exclusively featuring the members of whatever they’re interested in, be that bts or teen wolf or hannibal, or idk anime i guess? but then are openly negative towards news of queerness in that community, or are openly intolerant of, say, gay women although they drool over gay men. 

i personally think the whole ‘gay best friend’ trope also falls close to that line tbh

i would say the important thing is that if you engage with a certain gender or sexuality in the content you consume or create, make sure you treat people with that gender or sexuality in real life with the human dignity they deserve, and understand that people are more than their genitals and who they wanna have sex with. 

i imagine you probably can kinda vibe this line out yourself when engaging with content, bc for most people respect is kinda a given, but i know it can be confusing sometimes to navigate. i hope this helps! and again, this is my take, and other opinions very well may also be valid. additionally, i’m speaking as a cis lesbian, and thus don’t have a full range of experiences of all the communities i’ve mentioned.

(finally ahh i’m so sorry you cried : ( i’m happy to be back every now and again, it’s been really nice)