#or at least the audience is
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Sunday blues under the cut
I'm going through my Google docs and my favorite (recs) AO3 bookmarks and like. there's something about the nostalgia here that's making me really sad for some reason and maybe it's because I've been so much less engaged with fandom stuff since I left Twitter.
Like I still read constantly and comment when I can, but maybe it's because of the culture that tends to softly discourage reblogs with comments (as opposed to Twitters endless streams of little public discussions, at least back in like 2019-2021) that I feel extremely disconnected.
I've got my little pockets of two or three friends here and there but a group? A fandom? A place where I felt like part of a community of likeminded people?
I don't know. I think I'm just back on that same old "I want to write something that matters to to someone" train and the only thing I've written with that level of plot and teeth is the fucking Genshin fic and I'm just. I wish I didn't care so much about making friends! I wish I didn't have to fight so hard to feel like I belonged! But Katsucon put into sharp relief that I don't have nearly the amount of IRL support that I need to be okay. I'm the mom friend to 80% of the people I know, and the other 3 individuals cannot be expected to keep helping me out of every crisis I have.
I don't know what happened to me in the past few years. I know some things have gotten better. But I miss so, so much just having a group of people to get EXCITED about creative projects with - or even just being able to hang out in person and not worry about how many annoying stupid things I've done in the past hour. God. GOD.
I know that I'm still talented. There's still something worth keeping in this body. But I feel like I've lost my ability to showcase it or share it in a way that isn't just Laurel (whom I love) doggedly trying to keep my sense of worth above water.
The only thing I feel like people like me for is my credit card. And it's something. It helps the people I love. But. God, I wish I could be something else.
#I feel like whether K*OSA passes or not. fandom is dying#and I'm dying with it#all I ever wanted to do was make things that got people excited. Make them think. made them feel#and I know I used to!!!#but that's gone now#or at least the audience is#and I wish that just the act of creating could be enough#but what is the joy in bread when no one eats it?#(yes a BIG part of this is that I have torn myself into pieces for a fic I cannot BEG my friends to read and comment on)
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based on the Billstill au by @jellynut! You guys should totally go check it out, it's so cool and angsty and somehow my monkey brain took that idea and made it Stan tormenting Bill forevermore. (This has spiraled rapidly not its own au of an au based on an earlier idea I had once) (might draw more of this au and that one who knows)
This has been going on for at least 15 hours straight, and Stan is having the time of his goddamn life watching Bill suffer
And then Bill gave Stan horrendous night terrors
And then Stan bought a giant bag of nachos and ground them up into crumbs and dumped them in the sea or some shit
Transcript and full image under cut
Bill, floating intangibly: You're a loser, Mac
Stan, looking up from his magazine: Yeah? And you're an interdimensional demon dumb enough to die in my head. You're the biggest idiot I know, and I know me
#They're so funny to me#Bill is trying so hard to break Stan and yeah the nightmares suck and stan is definitely scarred for life#But for the most part... to me at least#The Bill still au is about Stan repeatedly wrecking Bill's shit and tormenting him and having the time of his life#Bill is the real captive audience actually#They're stuck with Each Other <3 and they hate each other and it's so funny guys trust#Headcanon that Bills insults wouldn't work on stan and would actually improve his self esteem#Because Bill can't day anything Stan hasn't said about himself#And hearing this massive loser call him pathetic has to be so funny and also invalidate the negative self outlook#Like hell is he gonna agree with BILL of all people#Ford is extremely confused about Stan's sudden Nacho buying spree but then sees Stan throw them in the Sea while shouting profanities#Ofc he joins in#stanley pines#bill cipher#billstillau#I have too many thoughts about this sorry guys 😭😭#gravity falls#gravity falls au#sea grunks#stan pines#my art
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stop making duke surprised that Jason died not only does he Canonically know that Jason died but Canonically jokes about it To His Face okay
#duke thomas#jason todd#i Know ya love to make him ask the dumbass audience questions#but At Least do something with no canon basis#im putting dukes name up on a shelf
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Cowboy AU, SL reunion :)
This scene translates remarkably well to a Mexican Standoff scene.
Drawing this serious-ass scene with luffy having a Colonel Sanders mustache and bowler hat on the whole time was very interesting.
I had no intention of drawing the full scene, but now that i have… ah,,,…….. i think i may have a problem :)
……nahhhhh
Full post of cowboy designs and other jazz
Bonus hug:
#i almost have this whole scene illustrated#DO I HAVE A PROBLEM????????????#MAYBE#but i mean at least i have an audience for it besides my sister who is already over my bullshit#luv u sis :))#my art#one piece#monkey d. luffy#sabo#asl brothers#one piece fan art#sabo the revolutionary#cowboy au#op cowboy au
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Something incredibly annoying when dealing with non-pnf stans when discussing with PnF is discussion of Candace being accidentally gaslit by her mother. In that they assume everyone is in on the fact to make Candace feel like she's crazy. NOBODY ELSE is doing that. In fact, nobody BUT Candace seems to understand the whole brunt of the situation.
The backyard gang are not "bullying" Candace or keeping her from telling her mom. In fact, they tell Linda about it themselves MULTIPLE TIMES. They talk about it off handedly a bunch of times too. Theyre just also 10, and Linda thinks it's part of the "games". She thinks theyre being imaginative. Theyre NOT. The backyard gang is NOT lying to her, and they are NOT perpetuating the assumption that Candace is crazy. Linda just doesnt believe them. The backyard gang doesn't KNOW this. THEY ALL THINK LINDA KNOWS.
LAWRENCE is not perpetuating the idea that Candace is crazy. He ALSO thinks Linda knows. HE HAS SEEN the backyard projects a bunch of times, and HE TELLS Linda about them TOO. However, and this is important, he only ever sees the cute, relaxed and sweet projects, and never the potentially dangerous or fatal ones, so he thinks Candace is being anxious and overprotective. Which she is, but that's a separate issue. LAWRENCE is not lying. HE thinks Linda knows.
JEREMY has seen the projects and parties. He talks about them at length, and how cool Phineas and Ferb are! He's never lied. He thinks Linda knows.
STACY has seen the projects and parties. She FREQUENTLY vouches for Candace. But shes Candace's best friend, so of course Linda doesnt believe her.
EVERYBODY EITHER THINKS LINDA ALREADY KNOWS, OR HAVE CLOSE ATTACHMENTS TO CANDACE SO LINDA DOESNT BELIEVE THEM ANYWAY.
Linda isnt doing it on purpose. NOBODY is lying.
DO i think Linda should believe her daughter now and then? And should Lawrence stick up for her more? Of course I do. But it's not malicious. Just....a bit neglectful. But Candace's assumption that everyone is against her is largely perpetuated in her own head and anxieties and miseries. She ISN'T alone. People ARE on her side, and she has more allies than she thinks. There are MULTIPLE episodes where Phineas and Ferb try to bust THEMSELVES (AKA attempt to show Linda their project with her own eyes) when she simply asks them to. A lot of people think she's really cool, and caring, and her brothers think shes unironically, absolutely AWESOME. Which has been the point of many episodes, AS WELL AS Candace against the Universe.
#all the memes about ah how the turn tablea#when someone has a story for Candace that Candace doesnt believe so its frustrating and all#is funny#but it ticks me off the wrong way#yeah Candace is being gaslit Cassandra of Troy style#but nobody's doing it to bully her or make her feel crazy or small#at least not on purpose#her vendetta against the Strange Universal Force seems silly in universe canon#but shes RIGHT#and the audience knows it#because the force has another name. called a plot point#it HAS to happen#Candace is doomed by the narrative#Candace Flynn#Candace Flynn Fletcher
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Proof that Paul is only ever one wolf-whistle away from making it gay
Paul McCartney talks about the Beatles sandwich on Parkinson, 3rd December 1999
#always said they were swappers#not sure I buy that bottom was his least favourite position though#I was going to say ifyaknowwhatimean but this whole post is an ifyaknowwhatimean situation#anyway look at him flirting with the audience don't you hate him?#paul mccartney#interviews: paul#audio and transcripts
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Holmes and Watson / Tristan and Isolde
BBC Radio 4's Sherlock Holmes, The Devil's Foot (radio drama transcript) /// Granada's The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, The Red Circle /// Metafictional Monday: Tristan und Isolde, @teaformrholmes /// Brayton Polka, LIEBESTOD: On Love and Death in Wagner's "Tristan und Isolde", p. 248 /// The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, Vincent Starrett /// BBC Radio 4's Sherlock Holmes, The Devil's Foot (radio drama transcript)
#this is so niche but I have to trust there's an audience for it#it's about characters being immortalised by the audience. it's about a love that is only realised in the minds of the viewer#there's an extra layer to how isolde never hears the resolution of this chord and so only the audience can witness their union or something#and in granada the chord remains unresolved and transitions into the show's theme as holmes stares into the camera#as if he's asking the audience if the chord is resolved - if his love is requited#but idk enough about opera to explain it and the guy who wrote that jstor article knows too much about opera to articulate it clearly#also bert coules was fucking insane for this#at least there's a canon basis for holmes & watson watching a wagner show in the red circle but bbc4 pulls it out of nowhere in devils foot#sherlock holmes#bbc4 sherlock holmes#granada holmes#granada johnlock#johnlock#acd johnlock#tristan and isolde
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‘Booktuber reads one-star reviews of their favorite book’ type video but it’s Airplane reading out hate comments on PIDW (ft. boyfriend Shen Yuan who is acting soooo innocent and normal - not at all as though he wrote 85% of those posts himself)
#svsss#scum villain#cumplane#shen yuan#shang qinghua#to be clear sqh knows that sy is peerless cucumber but his yt audience does *not*#at least not until the end when sqh turns to him after the last comment#and goes ‘that was a really poetic bit of vitriol - nice work on that one’#and sy just smirks
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"Don't worry. I'll fulfill my promise and find a way to cure you. Actually, I've found some leads."
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr jiaoqiu#jiaoqiu#LEAST SUSPICIOUS MAN ON THE YAOQING#they didn't have to go so hard on this trailer but holy hell#this is all i could fit in tumblr's 10 image limit but i've never gone so insane over a trailer since monodrama#they really know their audience#and that's not even getting into the ornaments for the dishes he was serving#which were half real food half 3d animated and that made it all the worse (better)#GOD thank you mihoyo#ray's records#what lengths is he willing to go to cure feixiao?#i think all of them
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blasting my two favorite interests into each other because i can
#metal bat#garou#one punch man#opm#batarou#shatters my heart to say this because metal bat is my fave and has my heart but garou is 100 times more fun to draw than him im so sorry#splatoon 3#splatoon#metal bat pain brush user because i couldnt decide if he would be a roller or a brush main and painbrush is the perfect inbetween#originally i was going to give him a dynamo#but a pain brush is lighter and more similar to his bat i feel like#garou gets enperry dualies because hes annoying#LOOOOOOOOOOOL JK SORRY#hes fast and whatevvsss#he can use his water mountain breaking fist thing with his triple splash down#this is for a very niche audience of people who r fans of opm AND splatoon 😭#im sure there will be at least ONE person who is happy about this combination... 😭
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tis the season
#Sun’s up so im takin my meds n goin to sleep gn#My first spo moodboard post its a lil basic but it was fun to make yayyy I haven’t make a moodboard in like 3 years i will be making more#I rlly dont know what tags to use lol im not tryna get got but also…hi i want moots#male ed#ed but not ed sheeran#tw ana bløg#st4rv1ng#boy ana#⭐️rving#thinspø#ana b0y#male anna#ana male#th1n$pø#3d f4st#4norexla#⭐️ve#light as a feather#3d not sheeran#st4rv3#skinandbones#FTM 3d#M@lesp0#male thinspi#lets try these… ill make at least one tagged post a day for a week n mess around w the tags and see if anyone finds this blog#and if they dont then it was simply meant to be a diary w an audience of like 3 and thats ok too <3 hi guys love u#But im just curious to see where this acct might go#neonboards
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Dad always said I was like him
Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui
^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown
When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.
#It’s ok they do get in touch again and he prob at least lives to 40#Alright I’m ready to be normal about chilchuck again#Spoilers#I guess?#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#meijack#chilchuck’s family#meijack chils#Web weaving#alcoholism#cw alcohol#webweave#A couple more i liked are like a rearview mirror we’re not as close as we appear line and this french one from#Kristina Gauthier-Landry that goes like hands full of trout running up to you / look what i caught look / how much you love me#And this other one about chocolate coins that a dad arriving from work in middle of the night gives the happy little daughter running up#And it’s so anticlimatic and about transactional relationships and oughh ough it’s a good book#I am Chil is a complex absentee father truther sorry. Idc go see my analyses if you want don’t argue w me here#posts for which i am the target audience#Oh oh another one : So were we close? Or was it just the big things that held us together and the small things that let us fall apart?#The word father rotted in my mouth#Bc it’s left there to rot get it get it………..#Sigh. Like father alike daughter#I’m a truther that she’s more like her mom demeanor wise
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I’m putting these words on a high shelf until you guys can actually start applying these words to actual situations where it would be important to apply them to and not fictional content
text behind read more
Text on box: the words “glorify, normalize, sexualize”
text pointing to kid: people who think the depiction of a certain dark topic without demonization equates to endorsement of that dark topic irl
#little something ⌞🐚🐁⌝#for legal reasons this post is meant to be light hearted#I don’t seriously think people should be banned from saying these words#just kind of tired seeing them being applied to fictional media#profic#pro fic#pro fiction#proship#anti anti#media literacy#I guess#really just hate the argument of#“It’s ok to depict these things! Just make sure you show they aren’t ok!”#because like…maybe for kids media#but for older audiences I’d expect them to have at least a bit more of a moral compass#and not rely on fictional media to tell what’s right and what wrong to do irl to people.
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going back to psych season one immediately after finishing the show (or god forbid the movies) is extremely jarring.
who the hell is this toothpick— oh, that's our main character. harrowing! looks like i could throw him like a javelin. lassie's face looks like it's been well-sanded and put through three rounds of industrial buffing. some sinner also removed all the salt from his salt and pepper?!?!?? VICK IS PREGANT??? and then of course jules and gus look the exact same except gus doesn't seem nearly as tired which makes sense bc he hasn't had a gun pointed in his face at all yet at this point.
#also blonde woman jumpscare!!! sorry you didn't work with test audiences gongeous. at least you became lassie lore <3#and baby shawn actor is a genuine baby child too which is wild#running my mouth#psych#shawn spencer#carlton lassiter#burton guster#juliet o'hara
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Hiya!
your art is amazing ^v^
anygays...how r ya? (yea I'ma go fuck off...bye)
thank u 💐 and pretty much exhausted bc of school HEHE, still got UI UX projects to finish
#messyr#yapping to customers/audience is exhausting man. noW I UNDERSTAND PROMOTERS & FLYER DISTRIBUTORS IN MALLS N CYBERZONE#but hey at least brand comm & advertising finals exhibit is done. ngl it was fun tho!! but rip money
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two pals being nineties and stuff
scene from Stuck on Rewind on ao3
#steddie#steddie fic#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#from what I've seen the fic is flopping so posting the unused drawings is the least I can do lol#maybe I'll try omegaverse next bc it seems like those vaguely sexist & regressive wolf cock stories have a wide audience#sorry for being salty lol but I just like this one even if its painful and kinda ooc
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