#only a superficial level tho
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seleneprince · 1 year ago
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Queen Alicent had no qualms in voicing out her disgust for Rhaenyra’s family, specially her children, whom she called openly bastards and declared them unworthy of the throne, for their mere existence was sinful in her eyes. The Green children grew up hearing these words, with their mother and everyone around them ingraining in their heads that the Blacks were enemies, that they shouldn’t get close to those bastards. But in truth, Prince Aemond was the only one who took Queen Alicent’s words to heart and complied.  
Alicent’s attempts at separating her children from Rhaenyra were futile, since the King himself arranged for his children and grandchildren to train, study and spend time together to strenghten their bonds as family. Aegon loved to disobey his mother and grandfather, which was the main reason he aproached his nieces at first. Eventually, he developed genuine affection for them, specially Princess Alysanne Velaryon, the oldest, whom Aegon lovingly called Lysa and proclaimed as his favourite. Aegon was kinder to them that he was to his own siblings. He and Lysa quickly became inseparable and it was rare seeing one without the other. From her part, young Alysanne adored her uncle and followed him happily to every adventure he proposed. 
Princess Helaena was a special lady and no one could reach her, not even her mother. She lived in her own world, only showing interest in bugs and embroidery. Helaena never bothered to fit in the labels society tried to put on her. However, she showed some affection for her nieces. Just like Aegon, Alysanne proved to be her favourite and she soon took in to call her Lysa too, but she also payed attention to little Lucerya, who was usually seen listening to her aunt’s tellings about the different bugs she studied or making flower crowns for each other. It was among the rare moments Princess Helaena could be seen openly smiling, relaxed, like a normal lady. Her nieces seemed to bring out a certain light from her. 
Prince Daeron was a carefree, mischevious boy who only pretended to listen his mother’s words to stay on her good side, but once she turned around, he did anything he wanted. He wasn’t as chaotic as Aegon, as quiet as Helaena or as dutiful as Aemond, but he was charming and loved the music, and so he quickly became the court’s beloved along with Lucerya. Daeron was born merely two days apart from Princess Alysanne, and King Viserys had them share the same wet nurse in hopes this would push them to share some kind of fraternity and avoid the bitterness between their mothers. Although Daeron and Alysanne got along well, Aegon took the majority of her time and Daeron seemed to have preference for Lucerya, whom he seemed to enjoy entertaining with his knowledge in arts and even dedicated poems too. They were both the court’s favourites and so they were often together in the center of parties. 
Prince Aemond, his mother’s copy and favourite, never bothered to interact with his half-sister’s daughters. He believed everything his mother said and so if she claimed they were dangerous and unworthy, it had to be true. He looked at the girls and spoke about them the same way his mother did. Prince Aemond talked, but it was Queen Alicent’s words he spelled. He chastised Aegon for being so cozy with Alysanne, warned Helaena about her sympathy towards the girls and frowned at Daeron’s playful banters with Lucerya. This one seemed to annoy him particularly for some reason, often mocking his younger brother for being so pathetically enamoured with Lucerya and trying so hard to get a bastard girl's attention. Everytime he caught one of his brothers entertaining Lucerya or playing with her, his mood instantly turned sour. It didn’t help the little girl seemed blissfuly unaware to his hatred and acted all so sweetly towards him like she did with everyone, calling him uncle and sometimes following around, much to his annoyance. Surprisingly enough, he didn’t push her away most of the times and seemed at least tolerant of her presence, something he didn’t have for Princess Alysanne. 
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vitalazam · 7 months ago
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i actually think zam should blow up the vitalasy hole #controversial
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squintsintwink · 1 month ago
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Cyberpunk 2077 is my favorite anti-capitalist game that I spent 70 dollars to play
#like is it worth 70 dollars#I Guess?#I know it took years and so many people to actually put this game together#and the basegame and dlc for seventy dollars total is such a steal in comparison to say#a certain life simulator game I play#but the actual game Cyberpunk in itself is so inaccessible already#like my gaming laptop can run the sims with all dlc and custom content on ultra graphics EASY#buy trying to run cyberpunk even on the lowest graphics is like#ROUGH#and like paying 70 dollars for the LOWEST graphics setting is pretty mid#like yeah they got Keanu Reeves as the cool brain parasite#but that only speaks to me on a personal level because I have a mental health issue that causes me to have Keanu Reeves as a brain parasite#in my actual real life#the story is so great but there’s so many side quests that no matter how many hours I play the game for I’ll never actually COMPLETE it#cyberpunk is my FAVORITE game and I do NOT regret buying it bc the story is there the world is there the characters are there#but it feels so superficial knowing I spent a quarter of my paycheck to spend 30 hours being like#‘that’s right Johnny Silverhand we should fuck em up’#i think it’s more that cyberpunk feels like a story the world really needs right now#but it’s only accessible to such a niche group of people#especially since the game got so much hate on launch#and yeah there is the anime now but the anime doesn’t even TOUCH a VAST MAJORITY of night city#the anime doesn’t have the same depth and wonder that the game has because the game is about a city and the show is about 1 group of people#cyberpunk 2077 really resonated with me in such a unique way and I love it so much I can’t even begin to describe my hyperfixation#but the graphics and first person camera give me motion sickness#and my wallet cried for three days when I bought the game#and so much of the actual political ideology is lost on me Because of the price point#I’m gonna play it anyway tho bc I’ve never seen my own brain parasites represented as video game characters before#twink speaks#Twink plays cyberpunk 2077#not cc
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bcneheaded · 2 years ago
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"Hush, now. I've got you." (oh how the turn tables, old skellybones ;P)
𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐝 “𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮” 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 (with @winterfollows !)
Long, bony fingers are plucked with the utmost care from within their blood-soaked gloves-- once a pristine white-- the material catching stubbornly. Coat long since discarded, the sleeves no doubt ruined-- he stands rather despondently by the guest-room's bathroom sink, Haleir at his side. Determined for some reason or another to help in ridding him of the ghastly crimson that spattered most of his arms and upper body. A creature. A mindless abomination roamed the streets, causing chaos among the area and striking fear into its inhabitants. It could not be allowed to live and infect the city. So he killed it. It was.. perhaps a tad more difficult than he'd anticipated, and as such, he may have gotten a little frustrated by it. But in all fairness... in all his time, he had never encountered one of these. He did not know they exploded upon death. He does now. Had he the key components of doing so, surely he'd have retched when the half-digested blood of the creature's victims sprung from it's swollen belly and spattered his attire. Hot and rancid in feel, even upon his tar. And now he was here. Had it been that the other had already been at the shop, wondering where Artemis had been-- only to be shocked at the sight of the poor, reeking sap walking through the door? Perhaps so. But now... He takes Artemis' bare hand in his and sponges clean the stickiness from the bones and tar as gently as one would for a Living. And for a long moment as he stares down at their hands, he finds himself... confused. Why was he so gentle with a creature such as he? Yellow eyes languidly wander up to meet Hal's gaze in the mirror before glancing back down at the mess upon his button-up shirt; red and black alike soaked through the material. Audibly, he tuts; silently admonishing himself for ruining so much of his tailor's fine work. And when Hal looks at him, for the first time in.. perhaps a little too long, he speaks again. "Truly," he tries one more time, not nearly as convincing as he'd been the first couple tries. "you needn't... I can clean myself." A long pause, and he sighs quietly, eyes falling back to Hal's hands, pale as porcelain compared to his own. "You'll... dirty yourself with tar--" he tries, pushing once more, voice barely but a croak. "It's... difficult to wash off."
#( asks )#winterfollows#<:' ) hehe#yes hi hello please uuuuhhh please consider the fact my dear friend my beloved felspar--#pls consider the fact that right here right then hes realizing that he has not been so much as touched in so very long by another person--#not like this! not by someone he actually Likes on a level deeper than superficial or professionally !! he has not known a genuine kind#touch in. forever. if ever since he'd been out of hell tbqh ?? sure there had been humans but his mind was muddled with ulterior motives#and now that hes lucid and tired and self aware and in control and able to APPRECIATE and ENJOY it he finds himself so..... out of place#and out of sorts with it ? he doesn't know what to do with it at all. he doesnt understand why he wouldnt just leave it be and let him#clean his own self fkdkksfd cannot comprehend why he might want to offer some ?? form of comfort or idk ?? closeness? or w/e it is hes#offering (artie is ... unaware unfortunately to the reason actually)#if it had been anyone else at all he very well would have sighed and sent them on their way jgfjdgjdf hes not even that embarrassed to be s#seen like this by hal?? all dirty and gross and NOT proper whatsoever. ENTIRELY disheveled and practically naked without his coat and shirt#all buttoned up properly and his little cravat tie and stuff--#soBBING THO HAL getting to see beyond the businessman persona is sustaining me rn ty for the food#also coming back here to point out that he definitely did just choose the phrasing ''dirty yourself with tar'' in relation to himself#and some sort of confused fear that he'll somehow see him that way too or SOMETHING IDK FFDSJ#im english teacher picking this apart rn im eating the tenderness right up#also x2 hi coming back again to just...... takes hal's hand. puts artemis' bare hand in his#this...... this hand is naked and u are the only person to see them ever jfdhjdfgdf
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shidoukanae · 4 months ago
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*rereads Paris and Helene's second meeting for the nth time*
me every goddamn time: THEY HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY HOW THE FUCK DO THEY HAVE THIS MUCH CHEMISTRY
It's so so so SO fun watching this entire meeting and how they both seem to constantly be in a little dance of sorts wherein Paris openly declares his interest in her and Helene keeps shutting him down ("You should come to Kylon. We won't overwork you the way your family does" -> "I don't have time to indulge in a life with people who don't think" -> "well that's good because i think about you so much i can't sleep"-> "and? get to the point already". like jfc he's not fucking vague about this At All).
But the best part is, for offstandish and disinterested as Helene is towards Paris (with her words cold and blunt towards him), it's really hard to deny that there isn't some interest on her part without there really being interest on her part (which is. confusing i know but. in context. oh. my god. she's a queerplatonic icon around Paris and i adore her for it)
My favorite thing to see in this scene is the way Paris reaches for Helene's face, casually brushing the back of his fingers against her cheek and through her hair (while commenting on how being this close to her makes his instincts spike with unease), and the moment Helene downs him she does the same exact gesture to him, lifting up his chin and brushing the back of her fingers against his face similarly. Which. Wow. I need more female antagonists to do this shit it is literally so cool to see.
Also the way Helene and Paris constantly are gauging each other is so neat. The way Helene tells Paris to "not long for what he can't have" (i.e. herself) is so neat. The way Paris is clear about his interest in Helene and she in turn matches that interest by toying with him in a way she's done with no one else in the cast is just. there is sooooo much there between them and i greatly enjoy whatever the fuck kind of chemistry it is they share because it is literally the epitome of what i crave in ships
#the mighty extra#Helene not batting an eye at Paris's advances yet doing shit like letting him touch her face and then lifting up his chin is just#ugh#how can you not ship them when there are just subtle cues like THAT that make the vibes between them so queerplatonic#i also love how Paris reaching for Helene's face reveals the fact he's very fucking uneasy around her despite his interest in her#that is a delicious contradiction for him to have and i really wonder what causes him to tremble when he tries to touch her#is it a strength thing a la he's aware she's more powerful than him and his dragon instincts quail at that?#which doesn't quite explain why Fian wouldn't react the same to Lyla?#or is this foreshadowing that Paris is aware on an instinctual level that she's an “enemy” and he can't override that instinct?#hence why he seems maddened by his own interest in her because it contradicts the very nature dragons have?#Helene also saying to him that his instincts are telling him “he shouldn't long for what he cannot have” is really sus tho#because i thiiiiink the basis for her saying that is she's warning Paris she's stronger than him therefore she can overpower him#but that's only based on current context i can scrap together and not like#potential context we've yet to get considering this manhwa has a fun habit of answering questions 20+ chapters later#and often in indirect reference to what the question was in the first place#which makes this manga suuuuuuuuuper fun to reread because you always end up learning something new#aka my favorite writing technique in existence lmao#i also wonder why Helene tells him specifically “dont long for what you can't have”#because the way she says that implies there's something deeper behind her words and i can't puzzle it out#especially because Phillip calling Helene “kindly despite her cold mask” when he saw her dancing with Paris alludes soooo many things#and that she may indeed hold interest towards him to some degree but her warning him off states she has a reason for doing so#and waaaaaaaah i think it's obvious there's something there on Helene's end#bc she seems to be true to her self only around him and she doesn't seem to care if he touches her (which is. Very Interesting)#but unless Phillip is mistaken it sounds like Helene does hold some interest in Paris but also she's uninterested in reciprocating#i think????#i think at this point their interest in eachother is both superficial is how i read it but god does that not stop them from having chemistr#and i literally cannot wait to see what it takes to get Paris and Helene from a place of hostile interest in each other to actual lovers#(im so excited for their next scene together can u tell)#(especially since Paris is finally taking Helene up on her offer of getting her help any time he wants)#(and he hasn't seen her since he made the comments that he did in chp 65)
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fionnemrys · 1 year ago
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THIS!! Every damn word!
There's a fantastic fic that explores some of this as Kara processes her grief and learns how to live on Earth and camouflage herself as human. I highly recommend it.
moments in the woulds by @lovepotionnumber5
One of the (so many I can’t even begin to name them all) worst failings of CW Supergirl is that they just made her the female version of Clark Kent. Then they put Superman as this absentee patriarchal figure that’s a towering paradigm of goodness and righteousness casting a shadow over Kara where she felt like she had to live up to his example.
It’s absolute bullshit. They bullied her into a corner, into a position of inherent weakness (because she’s a woman) when SHE is supposed to be the freaking star, and they never let her out. I don’t care about her “beating Superman in a fight”. That’s not where true power comes from. It’s not about true strength of character. It’s lazy and stupid and forced. Kara and Clark are so different. I wish they’d shown that. That’s where the really interesting character study lies.
There should have been more friction between Kara and Clark. More awkwardness. More just not knowing what to DO or how to BE around each other. Not just because of his abandonment/complete absenteeism. (Though that was a hard plot line to swallow. Not to mention having JIMMY OLSEN be the one man to show Kara the ways of the world as her “watcher” and show her the Fortress of Solitude? Are you kidding me? It was condescending and infantalizing. She was a GROWN ADULT and he was human). If Clark, for whatever asinine reason, really had to refuse to show Kara a little about his life as Superman and where the last remains of her HOME WORLD existed, she would have found it on her own when she was 15 or something. She’s got superpowers and she’s a literal genius with an IQ beyond pretty much anyone on Earth (another thing they conveniently chose to ignore in the show). As if she wouldn’t have discovered those things even without Clark.
But what I find so egregiously lacking in Kara as a character, is that by making her the female Clark Kent, they erased all sense of her identity as a Kryptonian. We could have had such a brilliant and interesting exploration of how Kara handles things differently as a Kryptonian than a human. How differently she views the world. How her lens is different than the people around her. ESPECIALLY CLARK.
Instead of Kara suffering in Superman’s shadow as a thinly veiled, clumsy, and unimaginative metaphor for women in a patriarchal society, I would have liked to see Kara be totally unfazed by it. Like a silly little bullet pinging off her. In her eyes, it would just be a byproduct of a low class civilization that hasn’t caught up to advanced society yet and it’s one of the many things she has to put up with on Earth. Her whole being would just be a casual defiance to it, she wouldn’t have the patience or even bat an eye, but the Kara we got in the show was definitely framed to stay within the box of Earth’s patriarchal norms.
Kara is an ALIEN and she came to Earth as a teenager. Her world view was already well-formed at that point and she would have had to adapt, but I wanted to see more of Kara the headstrong, proud, willful, even arrogant Kryptonian rather than Kara the cowed little alien people-pleaser, camouflaging to near invisibility to fit in. Clark was raised in hiding, he never knew a different life, but Kara did! She had already lived years not having to hide and she had a greater sense of self than Clark ever would.
I would have been far more interested to see Kara be frustrated with Clark for totally different reasons. Example: Everyone loves Clark? Yes, it bothers her. Everyone loves Superman? Yes, it gets under her skin. So maybe Alex mentions something about jealousy or James says something about envy and Kara EXPLODES. She’s not jealous. She’s not envious. No, she’s ASHAMED OF HIM.
“None of you understand. Not a single person on Earth gets it. You all view him as an alien, but you don’t have a clue…not a clue, just how much more of a human he is than he will ever be Kryptonian. Kal-El may be from Krypton, he may be my cousin by blood, but he is not one of us. He has no idea what it would even mean to be one of us. Yet, everywhere I look, he is the one this planet sees as the representative of my home, the Last Son of Krypton, but he is not Krypton’s son and he never will be. I despise him for it as much as I pity him for it. And it’s all my fault because I was supposed to be the one to save him from that. He is my failure and I can never change that.”
Just one example of something I would have liked to see get explored with Kara Zor-El. But nah.
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blueathn · 2 months ago
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Obligatory coffee shop au art
Close-ups and ramblings under the cut because I spent waaay too long on this
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Welcome to my brain soup.
Disclaimer, I didn’t really plan this piece and just kept adding concepts as I went, so it’s kind of all over the place. It’s more a big patchwork of dumb ideas I got excited over, rather than a well thought-out drawing, but I like it as it is! It feels like my brain did when I was reading htn :]
1. The whole concept behind this is just "Vintage coffee ad but make it the griddlehark coffee shop au". I was aiming for cheerful but also not quite right, in a very stock photo kind of way if that makes sense. Gideon is smiling but she is not a willing participant in this. Also that coffee is cold.
I - very predictably - took inspiration from Leyendecker’s work, since his ads and posters are the first that come to my mind when I think "vintage ad", and also because I do feel like his painting technique is close to how I naturally paint. This is not meant to be a study of his style tho, I didn’t try to break it down on more than a very superficial level.
2. 3. Nothing special to say, just Gideon’s arms (her perfect biceps are hidden from view lest they cause a riot in the cafeteria). Also arm hair. I feel like it’s becoming a recurring feature in my art lol
4. I debated whether or not to add a foam skull on the coffee then ultimately decided against it. That’s one skull too many, and honestly Gideon neither has the skill nor the patience to attempt one. Let’s be real, if they let her have access to the pitcher she’d make tits. So here is your tits-free coffee, courtesy of the Cohort photoshop editors.
5. Isaac, sporting the Fourth’s blue not only in dress but also in his questionnable choice of eye makeup. They have matching haircut only so Jeanne can showcase how much better it looks on her.
6. This is where I finally have something clever-ish to say. Thoughts ! I have them ! Sometimes. So. Harrow. You can’t see it but she has a nose piercing as well - this is relevant to spreading my agenda that Harrow is full of bone (piercings, that is). Sue me, I forgot that they let her keep her face paint in this scene. Onto the actual thought process.
This is where Abigail interrupts the scene, before Harrow can catch a glimpse of barista!Gideon. Her interruption is shown by the unfinished look of this panel : the sketch lines peeking through (in a reddish hue, to mimic sanguine, the red chalk that artists used to draw sketches and studies - and also because the contrast of the colors makes it pop better against her skin) + the rendering is messier from the neck and down.
Abigail is blocking half of Harrow from view - I wanted to have her hide Harrow’s eyes and thus line of sight entirely, but I feared Harrow wouldn’t be as recognizable with more than half her face hidden, frowny eyebrows and all.
Abigail herself is meant to look out of place here, without taking too much attention away from Gideon. I drew her in a much simpler style, using a more monochromatic palette and cell shading, to contrast against the rest of the gang, where I used a lot more color variation and a more detailed & textured painting style.
That’s about all I have on this, if you got this far thank you! Your support is much appreciated. If you liked this drawing I’d be overjoyed if you reblogged it and left your thoughts in the tags/notes! I’m always happy when I read them, even just a "#nice" makes my day.
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rorah · 30 days ago
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Dimitriverse here. And I'll use it as pretext to talk about Hopes. 'In this essay I will ☝️...'/j I must be one of the few - if not, the only one- (who's not on board with the anti-church propaganda |Just in case: I grew up in an atheist house| and not a Byleth hater either) who actually liked hopes because it supports and enhances houses narrative view (contrary to the common belief that it's the opposite).
Hopes shows a constant comparison between both games. And we know that this universe plays a lot with the parallels between different characters, and relationships. Both similarities and contrasts. Hopes is a contrast, seen from Shez's perspective.
It is established from the beginning that they only see the superficial positive qualities of the leaders, just like general tone presented of this game.
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Here I'm going to focus mostly on AM's goal and its contrast in AG.
In AM Dimitri achieves redemption and benevolence through forgiveness and acceptance. These lessons he learns from Byleth - the teacher/ the guide/ the enlightened one (the class enlightened one is mea to alude that who have more knowledge and greater understanding of something, who also aludes to the original aspect of the game. Nirvana. The JP Byleth class) in an indirect way. Byleth in turn gets it from the goddess herself but also their life lessons/experience from GM, and the people surrounding them. WC is an important and crucial stage in Byleth's development, as is the interaction they have with the diverse students they tutor.
The role of Byleth goes beyond a mundane "self-insertion" of the player. Byleth is meant to be a bridge between that goddess and humans: the path to Nirvana.
Both forgiveness and acceptance are mentioned in the game but can go unnoticed due to the level of subtlety they are mentioned, but they are core elements in Buddhism such as compassion and wisdom that serve as a path to inner peace and freedom (specially for the leaders who rule over big factions of people), and breaks the chain/cycle of suffering, anger, revenge, resentment, among others.
And that reminds me of Arval's constant words: "the cycle of this world". What does Arval mean? The cycle of this world… said by an Agarthan "deity", whose only role in the game has been to generate constant conflicts between the inhabitants of Fodlan and beyond perhaps? so that they kill each other. I don't know Joe, something here smells weird -wink wink- (Not to mention it also emphasizes the qualities achieved through Nirvana)
It's Important to understand the importance of Forgiveness and everything involved in the act. Understanding forgiveness, as a spiritual practice, goes beyond simply letting go of resentment. It involves cultivating mindfulness and compassion towards oneself and others. Since the game has heavily references and basis from Buddhism you can grasp it from there (more than Christianity, I'm sure different faits have somewhat different or similar approach to some concepts). But need to mention the act is also applied from a physiological and neurological perspective (in case you're not much of a "fait" person like me. I still like the Buddhism take tho, from a philosophical standpoint💖).
Anyway, Dimitri AM manages to learn those lessons and is not just "to learn to live for himself", which is also important, but it is only possible to achieve it through the through the acts already mentioned: forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, etc. Acts that acts that are practiced externally towards others but which are mostly an act towards oneself. Compared to Dimitri AG where the path chosen is revenge.
Misfortune always dogs the steps of one who gives way to the desire for revenge.
Does he get the answers he thinks he wanted? Yes Did it satisfy him? A Dimitri fan knows it didn't. Can Dimitri's friends help him? No, because they're in a similar situation or under similar believes, and this game displayed it.
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Sopilers: No, they won't get anything from getting revenge and certainly doesn't help to move on. Much less Dimitri, who's mental health has only been addressed at the end of a couple of supports. Is Shez a bad person? No! but they help no one and just goes along with whatever the leader says. Is Arval/Epimenides a bad entity? This is where I think, the original concept of the game is applied, the one mentioning. There's no good or bad, only a matter of perspective. But of course, that's something arguable and extense that deserves its own analysis.
At the end of all 3 routes, the war continues (despite having finished off Thales in AG) because the cycle continues. The cycle of anger, of suffering, of revenge, of prejudice, etc. And in my opinion, I think that's beautiful (the comparison, I mean). Thanks for coming to my Ted talk
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phagodyke · 2 months ago
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feeling like maybe screaming as loud and long as I can and falling to the ground and hitting it until I start bleeding or I finally get some attention whichever happens first. who's in
tf is up with me and randomly bursting into tears on weekend afternoons
#been trying so so so hard to keep busy and not let everything get to me but unfortunately i have run out of steam so i will now lose it#this happens like once or twice a week its fine tomorrow morning ill have my facade back up and pretend its all fine again#at least its the evening so i can just cry for an hour and go straight to bed. i rule at this emotional regulation shit im winning#oh my god. face in my palms and muffled wailing. its not even that bad at all im generally doing well i have so much going for me#just feel so fucking lonely in my life. and im doing my best to combat it im going out to social shit and calling friends often#but so much of the time! it just makes me feel more alone! bc theres such a lack of closeness or connection its so surface level#dont get me wrong i love my friends but there are things i need. like emotional support. and closeness. and preferably some hugs in there#and i cant get it from them and thats fine i respect boundaries and i know its mostly my fault for feeling so alone bc i dont communicate#well enough and ive tried to get better at it but i cant do it in isolation it cant just come from my side i need someone to seek it out#hey man is it so much to want to feel seen and safe around other people. i mean i guess it is. can anyone fucking hear me#and im so sick of being disabled and how big a barrier it is and how its shaped all of my experiences im done with it!!!!!#but its forever!!!!!!!!!! jesus fuuuuucking christ.#its okay tho im doing what i can for now. and its late evening on a sunday and im on my period and ive had a long week#so its perfectly fucking respectable to feel like shit. and genuinely i will feel better tomorrow. ough.#and i know im not the only one having a bad time. i wish i could do more to help my friends that are but i dont know how. man#ahhhhhhhhhhh. okay. well at least i got pretty much everything done i wanted to today. and anything i missed isnt important#im gonna shower and read and cry a little and go to bed by 10 i think. and then climbing to look forward to after work#i feel bad for saying that now. i dont have superficial friends. just different needs. but i still get a lot out of being friends w them#and i do feel some closeness to some of them sometimes its not like i never have. my insecurity doesnt help i have no object permanence#and my perspective rn is warped bc im upset. but its okay. i know i dont always feel like this. just um. somewhat frequently#sigh. okay yeah showering#sorry 4 ventposting again....relapsing in a moment of weakness. im very tired. i hope that isnt a rat i can hear in the kitchen#.diaries#.vent
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enden-k · 1 month ago
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Oh yea i didnt mean it in a personal way that was just badly phrased sorry. (Realising after typing it out that "why i need that hug" is only making sense in my head. Or maybe it doesnt make sense in english how i mean it sorry again)
I just like the concept so much of Vika and Saran. The drawing how he gets craddle knowing that he will get eventually eaten but they are so fluffy and healthy and tearing at the boys because AAAAHHH. Im so obsessed with this concept right now, maybe its my sick brain needing something to cling too. Tenderness in a darker concept.
And keeping it short. Do you get the concept of liking a character a certain specific way but everyone else i want to talk with about the character is just like "yea he is hot, yea he looks cool" but they never go into deeper character analysing ways and then i dont want to talk with them at all about that character.
-🐉
kjasbk its ok its ok
i like to think vika and sarans relationship is like this whole "dark love" themed, but in a consensual, non toxic way as i usually like AHHA (toxic yaoi/yuri my beloved). the super early super first idea was to go into toxic iirc but as i fleshed out their dynamic, saran turned so soft and gentle with vika and i like this so much better. it feels like its supposed to be like this with them: love and tenderness in a gloomy/dark setting
theres genuine, tender, healthy love for each other, both being right there when the other needed it the most. all vika wants is to look into sarans eyes and bask in these feelings and sarans love he finds there, yet every look costs him minutes of his life. their love is literally eating at him but its what he willingly chose and what brings him happiness. and he knows even when his time comes and he will be devoured completely, he will be with saran beyond death. all they do, its all mutual, its all consensual, its all tender.
im aro but whenever i draw them im like whoag this must be what love feels like. my hearts so full haha
overall im kinda trying to give them this "it looks like this but you have to look deeper to properly see" thing like. from the outside it looks like saran trapping vika in his hold and gaze and not letting him escape ever while in truth, its saran keeping him safe and cradled. or whenever saran babbles. the ambiguous meaning?? fooling ppl on first sight?? "look deeper or properly, its not how it seems at first." idk how to describe. maybe i also suck at conveying it AHHAHAHAHKAJSBCKJ
anw im rambling, idk where i wanted to go wtih this. i rlly cant shut up abt them LMAO sorry. im really happy to see how you like them and whats going on with them tho, this means a lot
ALSO I UNDERSTAND THAT SO WELL. i have the tendency to study a character under a microscope if i really really enjoy them and when i tried (i dont talk much to ppl anymore so its all in the past) to talk abt them to ppl who claimed to love them as much as i and then it turned out it was just superficial/surface level, i could feel my excitement shattering and just didnt discuss character studies or lore etc anymore. ofc ppl can like character how they want, im not saying its bad. i just always felt a bit alone/disappointed/embarrassed whenever it happened so im just keeping to myself now. so yeaa i get that
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astroangel23 · 1 year ago
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Pick a Card🃏✨💚
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Pile 1: people perceive you as someone that could help them transform their entire being. From the outside looking in you seem as if you have all your eggs in a row, you have your shit together. Even if you personally feel that this isn't true, this is how the people around you see you. This is the image you project to the world. You come off as a mature & responsible being which makes people who feel "lost" or unmotivated in their own personal lives want to seek out advice from you on how you blossomed into the independent person you are today. People from your past may look up to you even if they don't tell you. Also side note, you could bring tower moments into people's lives by your own perspective of the world because it's different from the so called norm.
Pile 2: You are perceived as a local star or someone that is very popular among the community you reside in. You may have many accomplishments under your belt that people see at the forefront when you pop up in people's minds. But even tho this is flattering, I believe that people's perception of you is very superficial as in they put you on a pedestal and only really take you in on a superficial level which is why your accomplishments are the top thought of what people think of you instead of your actual genuine personality that you see yourself as. People may blow smoke up your ass because they think it will get them somewhere with you instead of actually having genuine conversation with you. Trust your discernment when it comes to the people that approach you.
Pile 3: People perceive you as someone who has started from the bottom & made it to the top, whatever that may mean for you as this is unique for everyone on their own journey. They see you as someone who is in their own world, who can't be bothered by the opinions of others which is why many assume you may have been through many trials & tribulations in this lifetime. Some may assume that you would do anything to get where you want to be, even if that means leaving people in the dust or throwing another under the bus, but remember this is only an opinion, not a truth. Even tho you come off as a serious person that has been through a lot, you've still managed to keep your inner child alive & have a contagious sense of humor with a side dish of silliness (which is a compliment, everyone loves & needs a good laugh in this world).
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inkblot-mirror · 1 year ago
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I have a need to post this, as its been brewing in my head for a while though.
Various Vil headcanon shenanigans:
-I think I’ve seen this somewhere before, but Neige is actually his stepbrother.
-Would give even more reason to his jealousy
-Pays media outlets big $$$$ to stay quiet doesn’t stop the rumors tho. Expert at changing the topic when brought up.
-Mother divorced father when he was young (basically right after he was born, hence his lack of memories towards her), his father then remarried Neige’s mom.
-He only gets along on a superficial level with her though. Polite, but no real feelings beyond that.
-Neige’s whole backstory about him living a harsh life with the 7 dwarves? All a publicity stunt curated to boost his popularity and image: aka garner sympathy from audiences. Vil hates it.
-bio Mom is the Twisted Wonderland version of Madonna. ITS ALL BECAUSE OF THIS ALBUM COVER WHICH REMINDS ME OF THIS
-Actually the youngest of the third years, but feels the need to look and act older due to his career.
-When he was younger and he got stage fright, he would imagine the audience as potatoes.
-Got mistakened as a girl all the time as a child, until he hit puberty.
-A very touchy and physically affectionate person, as well as verbal, but ofc he tones it down because of his career and image. He’ll still show that he likes you though (sweeping hair from your face, smoothing out wrinkles from your clothes, side hugs, soft kisses on the cheek, etc…)
Oh and his dad brushed and braided his hair as a child. His favorite memories!
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asbestos-11 · 4 months ago
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I saw you mention on Twitter that you had aspec headcanons........... please share with the class if you want.......
(I would ask on Twitter but I'm a little shy)
just to preface this i am aspec (aro and acespec) so i know what i'm talking about. i'm gonna be using terms like platonic, aesthetic, romantic and sexual attraction to describe things. so like little primer on what each means.
platonic attraction is the kind of attraction you feel towards friends, family and in general people with whom you don't feel a sense of romantic and/or sexual attraction. think of what you would usually feel for your best friends, that is platonic. some people still choose to reject platonic love completely and we call them aplatonic (not gonna go into much detail bcs it's complicated and i'm not aplatonic so i don't want to speak over them)
romantic and sexual attraction should be pretty self explanatory. aesthetic attraction is the attraction you feel on a superficial level, ie you think a person is really pretty. while aesthetic attraction is a component to romantic and sexual attraction, it is not exclusive to them. liking someone just because they're pretty doesn't mean that you now wish to date them or to have coitus with them, it only ever means that they're pretty.
as always some of these hcs are purely because of vibes, while some of them i feel like they are informed by canon in any number of ways.
ok now time for the fun stuff (gonna spew both my gnsn and hsr hcs)
ok so like i want to start of with my girl argenti seeing as she's currently on banner and refusing to come home. i see her as aro. she experiences tons of aesthetic attraction ( i mean duh she is a follower of idrilla after all) and is romance favourable. i feel like she'd know fully well that her romantic attraction just isn't there, but she sometimes wishes that she could feel what others feel. she is more or less ok with her identity tho.
ratio to me is just demi, meaning he needs a very strong bond to even feel any kind of romantic/ sexual attraction. he's not someone i see having very strong aesthetic attraction. a lot of it stems from teh fact i see him as autistic and traits of autism do impact our perception of the self, especially on an emotional level. for some it's hard to tell what they're feeling and that does translate over to ur sexuality. i feel like ratio would be like that to a certain extent.
many would disagree but i also see aventurine as aspec. i hc him as greyro, someone who experiences romantic attraction very rarely, and aceflux, meaning your sexual attraction fluctuates on the spectrum. a lot of how i see him is informed by his backstory and the implications of sa. seeing as how that kind of trauma often skews one's understanding of sexuality and romance. i personally see him as someone who doesn't really care for romance. his sexuality fluctuates yes but it's often somewhere down in the doesn't exist/ is hard to categorize because his own trauma impacts it a lot. i also feel like he needs a ton of trust to even attempt anything and i also see him with a lower libido. i know very against what fandom often thinks of him.
now for someone who's just vibes. jing yuan is aroace to me. i just think it's incredibly funny that he's living his best life without any partner despite being xianzhou luofu's biggest obsession (i mean have u seen the dh jy bl). tho i do feel like he would be a lonely sort of aroace, often times being jealous of the others for having someone to hold and whatnot, but he has yq by his side (platonically ofc^^)
i'm gonna lump in furina, neuvi and alhaitham together as i think their neurodivergency is a big part of me seeing them as aspec. while i see furina as grey and neuvi as just aspec, haitham is ace to me. furina has an added layer of trauma to muddle the waters of their attraction, but i generally feel like they don't experience much in terms of any kind of attraction. they don't really care as they are more focused on healing from the trauma and anything else comes secondary. for neuvi i don't have a set sexuality and i just see him as aspec, i'm as confused as he is about his own emotions and place in the world. his emotions are hard to tell and it translates to other aspects of himself. as for alhaitham i just think he dgaf about his sexuality and is happy that he doesn't have to deal with annoyances like that, i do see him as someone who is very much so sex neutral, he wouldn't mind but he's not here raving for it either.
uhhh this might be all, idk tho. there's probably more characters who i forgot about lol. obvs the aspec is big and huge and there's as many labels as there is stars in the sky. haha anon hope u got thru this giant text post because holy it took a bit to put words down on paper.
also pls don't be shy i don't bite^^ i would love to yap to more ppl about these things
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tottis · 2 years ago
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Blackbeard and The gentle(?) Beast.
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One of my favorite disney princess movies is beauty and beast, only second to the princess and the frog (I ADORE princess and the frog you don't understand) and since we all collectively agree that Edward Teach has the most Disney Princess Doe Eyes in the media right now i just couldn't stop thinking about an ofmd disney princess AU and it happens that i was JUST listening to the abc b&tb musical thing SO. Yeah.
I like to think that Ed is Belle, I feel that some parallels just fit.
He's isolated from his peers, trapped in an image that isn't feeling like him anymore, probably never has. Daydreaming about something else, somewhere else, being someone else. Just. Living differently from this. From Blackbeard.
And he's hot as FUCK.
The major difference between Ed and Belle is that, in this really loose comparison, Belle craves adventure, she wants to see the world and experiment it but Ed already has. He has had all the adventures, all the treasures, seen so much of the world that the funny magic has already dissipated. I mean, of course he can still enjoy some of it, but he's not that young and naive to see the world with rose tinted glasses.
What Ed is craving is a life of softness, of leisure, of luxury and soft love and warmth and everything else that he has been deprived of because of his status, his skin, his gender and preferences.
I imagine that our Belle and our Beast get to understand each other in a more deep way with these roles. Both of them feel monsters, and both of them see the other as a Beauty.
Stede being The Beast is a little more combobulated, I'm afraid. I mean, yeah, he sees himself like a monster, or at least like something less than human. He has been abused because of his soft manners and soft preferences, soft self all his life. He has been too, like our Belle, depraved from being himself, but as the flower flowering from the asphalt, he has in some degrees, resisted. Learn to thrive in the harsh world of toxic masculinity, homophobia, i dare to say misogyny and from being fucking rich and white or whatever (check ur privileges stede ! lmao love u tho <3)
And he IS a flawed man, he has made mistakes, hurt people, being absent and negligent as some sort of copy mechanism from all of this. I feel empathy for him, of course i do, but we can't deny his damage. And he becomes The Beast because of that damage.
I like to think that he encounters The Witch while he is running away from his family. Seeking adventures like og Belle, and maybe because he wanted some pretty thing for himself in some Village, not thinking about the well-being of his crew first, The Witch sees that selfishness in him. He has to learn to really care about people. He cares on a superficial level, yes, but he can't really see beyond his privileges. He can't comprehend how a lot of his crew can't read. How important are the oranges for their health. He tries in his own way to care about them but, sadly, is not enough. Not for The Witch at least. Now, he's the reflection of what he sees in himself. He's a horrible beast that scares the humans away. He is trapped in a castle of pretty things he cannot enjoy. That hardly can be understood because of the grunts and the roars of his voice. He's too big for his pretty clothes and his hands too sharp to not shred everything in sad rags. To not defile beautiful things. He can't eat anything but raw meat. The Castle is maintaining all of them alive, especially Stede. He can't live, he can't die... He just... can't. He is trapped in his own guilt and trauma for eternity. That is his punishment. A one a little too harsh, imo but The Witch is probably the third badminton sister or something.
Ed being trapped (kidnapped) in the castle is not it, so we replaced it with Ed wanting time to himself away from Izzy (Gaston) and the other crew, maybe galloping with Fang (Maurice aka Belle's dad...?) and finding themselves in a fucking snowstorm. Looking for a place to survive the cold, they found a relatively small castle that seemed in good enough conditions. They enter, meet Lucius (Lumiere), Pete (some sort of Babette), Oluwande (Din Don / Mrs potts) and Jim (?) first. They got scared, obviously, so, they flee the fuck away, damn the storm. But oh, The Beast is slamming open the door. A Blood Covered Monster with fangs and claws, tall as 2.5 meters at least. It's grunting. "Don't. Run. Can't. Go. Out." that to Fang and Ed sounds like they're trapped and fucked, and to Beast Stede that the floor is covered in animal blood and melting snow and the climate is terrible so they're gonna get hurt. Fangs gets to escape thanks to Ed fighting with the Beast, Stede gets hurt because he isn't even defending himself, and because the curse is unpredictable, the crew lock Ed in a room and let Stede heal.
The curse being resolved with a Rose and True Love is cool and all but i prefer that the curse is influenced by Stede self image and relationships, and finished with Crew respect and Ed's love, the more he feels better with himself and the people around him, the more human he gets to be. At some point, he gets to fluidly talk, gets to walk in two legs permanently, gets to have less sharp claws, The Castle and the people cursed in it get to slowy get more human too until they really think that they're finally get free BUT. Fangs gets to izzy, he's so confused and can't remember too well why was escaping, where was Ed? Fuzzy memories, oh damn fuzzy memories... YES, The Castle affects the people out of its radio. If Ed gets to go... he forgets about Stede? Does Stede let Ed go knowing that he would not remember them? ... ohhhhh how is this gonna end??? Idk I'm just babbling out my ideas to everyone to take and properly write down. I'm not an English native speaker so, sorry for the grammatical horror that I just write lolz !
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jana2071 · 6 months ago
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It took me so much time to realise this until I recently reread the early spiderman comic and rewatched tasm movie, is the way Peter discovered his power for the first time ever and how tasm movie was accurate to comic in that regard
Peter first displayed his power in the comic when he leaped to the nearby wall of the building on reflex as a response to threat (*which is the car fastly approaching him), similarly, in tasm movie, Peter first displayed his power when he leaped to the ceiling of the metro on reflex as a type of alarming response, the other common thing is that before the happening of the response, Peter neither noticed nor saw the thing upcoming due to in both cases he was either preoccupied or sleeping
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There is a great reply on youtube that explains in detail the reason why Peter only reacted to the droplet of water but not the bottle being placed on his forehead:
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Also something I really love about how Peter discovered his power in tasm movie, is that the movie really emphasised how Peter was having a hard time to control his power if he put a bit aggressive force into something which is just like how Peter first discovered his power in the comic, he easily crashed a steel pipe even tho he didn't intentionally put much force into it but because of his superhuman strength any bit of aggressive force can be enormous, I love that tasm movie expanded on this aspect more than the comic and other adaptations because it would be realistic to see in regular basis how someone having superhuman strength would break many things unintentionally and this power can be destructive, in the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movie we only got that on a very superficial level like when he hit flash, but that's about it, we don't get anything else besides that, we don't see how he interacts with objects like really hard solids, but I love that this aspect was more explored and emphasised in tasm movie and is more accurate to the comic
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This is just one of the many reasons why tasm movie (in my opinion) is the best live-action adaptation of the comic, it has so many great overlooked details that I could spend time talking about
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youremyheaven · 7 months ago
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I don’t think all venusians are bad but I also had a share of bad experiences with them. I don’t know if I should drag the women or the men first. I’d talk about the women first because they’re in my family and it’s a more neutral point of view than hate or a one time experience. My purva ashada stellium grandmother used to starve her children too and is extremely cheap. Tbh I don’t think she has a bad relationship with her daughters. She seems to get along with them pretty well. However my mom who’s purva phalguni moon has similar behavior as the previous ano. She’s very jealous and envious of other women constantly comparing herself to other women and she needs to be the “best looking” among others. Otherwise she lose her mind. She’s very image conscious and she’s a complete different person with strangers or my friends. She wants to be seen as the cool mom. She also assumes every single man she interacts with has some sort of romantic interest in her. She also says phrases like “you’ll never be as attractive as used to be” like even if It was true and I was a walking troll she shouldn’t be saying this to her daughter ? I also find it weird how every single Venusian woman I talk to is extremely fake ? Like they’re obsessed with status and want to be seen as higher or richer than what they actually are. They love to see people beneath them. They strive to be the best in that way. They’re very superficial and they would definitely befriend someone or be around someone for the aesthetic or for what they could get from them. They would take shamelessly from people without giving back and when you called them out they be like “I didn’t ask you to” when they truly did pressure you into it. I think for men, most Venusian men I met, they would be very polite, kind helpful and try to please me as much as possible. Like they would get interested in my hobbies and try to get close to me with some hidden intention or purpose to it. When I don’t get fooled by their act, it’s almost as their mask drops and I see another version of them that is much cruel and mean ? It’s like they want to “punish” you. They would paint themselves as the victim because you didn’t give them what they wanted or desired from you. Whatever that is. They would tarnish your reputation or come for you in settings. Now, I don’t think I had many Venusian friends (only 2 ) that are woman but they both would lie and act as if they’re “rich” even if they’re not and I already know they’re not and I don’t even care because I never bring such things up.
💀💀💀u have described so many people i know, its crazyyy,, one girl i went to college with who had Saturn in Bharani atmakaraka was just like u described. she was upper middle class at best but she wanted to be seen as rich so bad?? she'd insert random details to make herself sound 🤑🤑she spoke about how much she spent on clothes even tho she always wore the same stuff on repetition?? (im not being a hater, her comments always just made no sense??) she'd talk about how her family only fed their dog specially bought meat and it was just ??? i hated the way she spoke about money and same goes for another Venusian girlie i know, she wont shut up about money and always exaggerates for good effect?? its so cringe to me ngl. theyre also the type of people who want to put others down to feel better about themselves. I think Venusians in general don't like it when someone tries to imply that they're on the same "level" so they always put others down to establish superiority. every Venusian woman I know is arrogant and conceited in some ways. one time the atmakaraka chick told me that her dad bought her a new car and i was like ok good for you? and she always spoke about how its her car when it was actually just a new car for the fam after they disposed off the old one?? lol?
one time my friends and i were eating out and a really cute kid (5-6 yr old girl) and her mom came in, all my friends said that the kid resembled me quite a bit and the Bharani ak girl said "yeah she's chubby like you" 🤡🤡🤡first of all the kid wasn't "chubby" by a long shot, and even if she was who tf says that about a 5yr old??? she just wanted to establish dominance? and did not like the fact that others thought we resembled each other lmao?? what a complete asshole, imagine insulting a literal child and your friend?? Venusian women do not like it when other women seem to have the upper hand in any way. They are not girls girls, i have said this before and i'll say it again Venusians are the OG "im not like other girls" girl.
im so sorry you went through all that anon. i wish you healing and peace<3
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